Work Text:
KK watched on as the reality he feared the most played out before him.
He had no doubt in his mind that Akito could take down Hannya-- that he could save Shibuya and his sister in the process. But now, here, watching her dying in Akito’s arms--
KK couldn’t stop himself from averting his eyes, his heart aching for the other man as Akito saw the last member of his family disappear before his eyes. KK longed to offer comfort and condolences, but it was clear now was not the right time.
All he could do was remind Akito that he was there, beside him-- and that he was never alone.
Akito had become closed off ever since the loss of his parents. He’d never had the opportunity to properly grieve or accept their deaths, and now after losing the last person in his family-- he felt as if his entire world was crumbling around him.
KK wasn’t exactly experienced with providing such comforts to another, or understanding how Akito felt. Hell, all KK wanted was to offer support, or ease the other’s pain anyway he could-- but he felt as if nothing he said or did helped in the slightest.
So he offered Akito a place to stay, a place where he wouldn’t be alone-- after all, KK didn’t trust the younger man to be by himself in his current state of mind.
KK had been through his fair share of dark thoughts in his decades of living. Akito was still young, he continued to struggle with the newfound feelings of sorrow, regret and denial-- so it was KK’s first instinct to protect Akito as best he could, as he came to terms with what his life had become.
Akito desperately sought to deny the reality of his family’s deaths-- and how could KK blame him for that? Mari had been closest to Akito, even through the hardships that had burdened them in recent years.
Therefore it was only natural for Akito to fail to accept that she was no longer there with him. KK ensured Akito remained living at his apartment, knowing the man was in no state to be left alone-- but it still didn’t stop Akito from crying out for his sister, for insisting she’d return home to him one day.
No matter how often KK would remind him, Akito was caught in the stage of denial. It was common when experiencing such levels of grief, but KK remained conflicted on how best to approach him, never knowing if his words would be rejected with anger or accepted with sorrow.
Either way, he’d hold Akito close, soothing his pain to the best of his ability, and offer his shoulder to catch the man’s tears.
The rain continued long after Shibuya had been saved.
KK suspected it reflected Akito’s mood, clouding his sadness as he continued to put on a strong facade.
Perhaps once the rain dissipated, Akito would be freed from his sorrow.
For KK, daily life remained a gamble. Some days Akito would sob wordlessly in his arms; and other times he’d be filled with rage, harsh words escaping his lips before he’d even comprehend what he was saying.
KK tried his best to keep that in mind, but sometimes the words stung, and could cloud his better judgement.
Akito was convinced he should have been there before Mari was taken. He could have changed fate, if only he’d made different choices.
Denial was at its worst before acceptance began to take hold.
It wasn’t long before the nightmares began.
KK would be shocked awake by screams; the sound of Mari’s name escaping Akito between broken sobs. He’d hold him until Akito would come to his senses; breaking free of the dreams that would torment him. As soon as he’d realise KK was there, arms around him, safe and warm-- his conscience would ease.
Sometimes, he dreamt it was KK who would die-- his spirit leaving and dissipating with the others. Akito was convinced KK would not remain by his side forever, and it took all of his sanity to convince the poor boy he’d never be abandoned.
Whether or not KK’s words sunk in would only be proven with time.
Akito never had the chance to grieve before. For his mother, for his father-- and now, his sister. It was all hitting him at once, overwhelming him to a degree that he couldn’t handle his emotions.
“Why Mari? Why did Hannya take her?” Akito grit his teeth, fists shaking at his side. “Why not me?”
It made no sense. He could have saved her. If he did things differently. If he wasn’t such a failure. If he--
KK reached out; a hand resting on his shoulder. “Akito--”
“My entire family is dead,” Akito stated harshley, cutting off the other’s words. “I should have died, too. I was practically dead when we met. If you hadn’t--”
“Akito!” KK warned, struggling to suppress his rising frustration.
“If you hadn’t--”
KK pulled Akito into his arms, taking advantage of the sudden move and forcing the younger man into a warm embrace. “Please don’t talk like that, Akito.”
Akito immediately fought back in retaliation, but KK never let go. The anger began to wane, fading into tears, replaced with nothing but a broken cry.
“Why not? You’re going to leave me as well! And I can’t-- I’m not strong enough, KK. I’m not…”
Akito trailed off, hating how pathetic he sounded. He didn’t recognise himself, having never felt such sadness. His hands dug into KK’s shirt, holding on for fear he’d collapse if he let go-- his own legs threatening to give out.
“Please… don’t leave me, KK,” he begged. “I can’t…”
“Hey-- of course not.” KK shook his head, arms tightening as protectiveness overcame him. “I won’t disappear. I promise.”
“But.. your family. You can go back to them now.” Akito’s words felt like a knife through his heart. “You don’t need me anymore.”
KK swore under his breath. “This again…” He pulled back from their embrace, staring intently at the younger man. “Alright, Akito. I need you to listen to me, yeah?”
KK brought a hand to Akito’s face, sliding to his neck, tilting his chin up. His other hand followed, wiping away the tears from his cheeks.
“My family may have returned, but that doesn’t change the fact that I died. They’ve mourned. They’ve grieved. They’ve moved on.” KK paused for a moment, feeling his emotions begin to get the better of him. “There’s… someone else who needs me now. Someone else who is hurting. Someone else who is alone.”
Akito swallowed thickly, lips parted but words absent.
“I’m not the romantic type. Hell, I’m shit with words, if I’m honest, but--” KK glanced at Akito’s lips, desperate to feel them against his own. “I need you to know…” He trailed off, slowly leaning in closer. He paused beside Akito’s ear, whispering his confession with only a hint of bashful reluctance.
“KK…” Akito’s face lightened up, momentarily shocked by what he was hearing. “You… really mean that?”
“You heard me.” KK flushed, averting his eyes. “Don’t make me repeat myself, it won’t change anything.”
Akito kissed him, lingering a moment; smiling dumbly. “I love you too, KK. So much.”
“Yeah, yeah--” Their foreheads rested against one another, and KK couldn’t stop himself from grinning. “You’re attached to an old, washed-up detective-- aren’t you lucky?”
“I am.” Akito kissed him again, leaving him breathless once more. “Thank you, KK. I don’t deserve it.”
KK made a dismissive sound. “Yeah, I’ll be the judge of that.”
Akito laughed, albeit briefly, before his smile faded again. KK immediately panicked once the tears began to fall, wondering if he’d said something wrong.
“I’m sorry.” Akito’s breath hitched. He couldn’t understand why he continued to cry even when he was certain all tears had been spent. “I don’t mean it… I just…”
“It’s alright, kid. These things take time,” KK said, running a gentle hand up and down his back. “Just know that I’m here for you. If you want to talk, or just-- sit in silence. Anything at all.”
Akito nodded into his shoulder, unable to express his thanks in words. “If it’s alright with you, I… want you to hold me for a bit.”
KK smiled. “I think I can do that.”
Settling into the futon, KK urged Akito a little closer, sighing as the younger man rested his head in his shoulder.
KK listened intently to Akito as his breathing gradually evened out, falling asleep in record time. He wasn’t surprised in the slightest, knowing the toll Akito’s emotions were having on him. But KK felt as if Akito had reached a breaking point in his grieving process-- their conversation having proven that.
As the room fell into comfortable silence, KK noticed the rain had finally stopped.