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Leaving in the middle of a fight was KK’s first mistake.
He knew he shouldn’t leave Akito alone in his current state of mind. But KK was riled up; the kid had a way of bringing out the worst in him sometimes.
He could understand Akito's request-- after all, to Akito, he was asking a simple question, something that anyone would know when it came to their partner.
A name.
Something that defined a person in more ways than one.
Something that KK didn’t feel ready to disclose.
Akito had assumed it was a trust issue, and no matter how many times KK insisted that was not the case, his words fell on deaf ears. He could see the hurt in the younger man’s eyes, and hated being the reason for Akito to make such a pained expression.
KK needed to think. He needed distance, if only for a few hours. Long enough to calm down, to settle his feelings, and gain the courage to tell Akito something he hadn’t told anyone in a long time.
Unfortunately for him, Akito interpreted his departure in the worst way possible-- as when KK finally returned, what he was faced with could be described as no more than a complete mess of a man.
Akito had no one to blame for his misery than himself.
KK was all he had left now, and he’d already fucked it up-- pushing the man away without meaning to. The words he’d spouted with anger in the moment had no true feelings behind them; regret hitting him instantly as soon as they echoed in his ears.
Akito wasn’t surprised when KK stared at him silently in response, before heading out the door. The silence was deafening, but it had become all too familiar to Akito in recent days.
He had it coming.
He was convinced KK would not return this time.
Emotions be damned-- Akito didn’t understand himself or why he was acting like this. Grief and mourning was one thing, but pushing away the man he loved was another. Why would he say so many horrible things to KK? Why was his mind so insistent on putting distance between them?
Akito realised then that he was crying, once the tears crept down to his jaw. He immediately crumbled to the ground, dragging himself onto the futon he’d neglected to pack away that morning. Curling in on himself, he sobbed quietly, muffling his voice in the pillow beside him.
KK had no reason to stay with him anymore. Akito had nothing to offer-- this was all he had. No family, no friends, not even his own apartment to his name. He’d acted out, no better than a child-- there was no surprise why he was alone now.
Akito rolled over, screwing his eyes shut with a hitched breath, gritting his teeth as he beckoned to be released from the hold sadness had over him. Hadn’t he suffered enough? Why had he done something so stupid, and only made himself more miserable in the process?
He wasn’t worthy of happiness.
No… he wasn’t worthy of KK.
Akito decided, regretfully, to accept this as his fate.
“Akito!”
He startled upon the futon, having been on the brink of sleep
“KK?” Akito replied, unable to believe his eyes. “I thought… I thought you’d left.”
The older man was beside him instantly; pulling Akito into his arms and nearly crushing him in a warm embrace. “I’d never leave you like that, Akito. I… was always going to come back.”
Akito was shivering, a newfound influx of emotions overwhelming him. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry, deciding on both. “I’m sorry, KK. I won’t ask you again. You don’t have to trust me if you don’t--”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, I--” KK cut him off with a frustrated sound. “I don’t see why it matters. The name I go by will always be what I consider my name.”
“I should never have pressured you like that.” Akito licked his lips, clearing his throat. “I’m sure you have your reasons, and I was insensitive.”
KK’s hand cupped his jaw, staring into Akito’s eyes like he was the most precious thing in the world. “It’s just that I’m… not a big fan of my full name.”
“What-- you’re…” Akito furrowed his brow, eyes narrowing. “You’re embarrassed by your name?”
KK pulled a face. “To an extent, I suppose.”
Akito sighed, pulling close and nuzzling into the older man’s neck. “Let’s drop it, then. I won’t ask again.”
KK’s hands shifted from Akito’s hips; finding the soft, warm flesh hidden beneath his shirt. The younger man shivered as they crept around to his back, one trailing up his spine, the other, slipping beneath his waistband.
“Kazuhiko,” KK whispered into his ear. “But, please-- call me KK, yeah?”
Akito’s breath hitched, lips parting for a moment, stunned by KK’s sudden confession. “Thank you, KK,” he replied, unsure as to why tears started falling again. “For confiding in me, even after I pushed you away…”
“I would never abandon you, Aki. Not now. Not ever.” KK pulled him closer, if that were possible-- so firmly that it could almost be interpreted as possessive.
Akito chuckled through a sob, surprised by his newfound nickname. “Aki?” He repeated, unable to suppress a smile.
KK nodded, humming in agreement. “Like autumn.” He pressed his lips to Akito’s, brief and loving, before mumbling against his lips softly, “My Aki…”
Akito moaned through their next kiss; deeper than before. “Yours…” He said, trailing off when words no longer mattered.
Names continued to tumble off each other’s lips as the two found themselves wrapped up together in a mess of limbs upon the futon, lost in their mutual love and desire for comfort.