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Ranboo wouldn’t say he’s an anxious person, but that would be a lie. He’s definitely not as high energy happy as Tommy, nor as gremlin chaotic as Tubbo, but he’s actually very easily overcome by his stress. That’s why many months back when he came across a coping mechanism called age regression, he was… intrigued. It just seemed so freeing, so soft and comforting. Ranboo denied his interest in regressing for a long time. This was for other people to enjoy, not him. He just thinks it’s interesting from a mental health standpoint. Yeah, that’s it.
That was proven wrong a few weeks later though. Ranboo was on call with Tubbo just chilling and avoiding some work he had to do for his merch release. Why was there so much to do when everything wouldn’t be out for such a long time? Originally Ranboo had justified to himself that Tubbo’s rambling story is why he wasn’t getting anything done, but he just sort of stopped blaming things. He stopped thinking about his work as something that could be done slowly and with breaks and instead it just became this monster on his computer screen that he should just sit and stare at until it disappeared. Next time he resurfaced from zoning out staring at his screen and listening to Tubbo ramble he realized he was chewing on his hoodie sleeve and let out a whine.
Ranboo sat up in his chair and took his sleeve out of his mouth. “Was that me?” He looked over at where Discord was open to see Tubbo hadn’t noticed. He breathed a sigh of relief and tried to decide what to do next, but his thought process felt all soft and syrupy. He sat back and rubbed at his eyes with weakly fisted hands before he realized how… childish the action made him feel. That’s when he realized what was happening. He had somehow regressed on call with Tubbo. Ranboo, who had never regressed before and had been denying the real reason for his interest in the coping mechanism, had just unintentionally used it for the first time… in front of his best friend who didn’t know.
Tubbo didn’t know. What if Tubbo figured it out? What would he think? Would he think Ranboo is weird? What if he lost his best friend? This is the thought that made Ranboo interrupt his friend’s rambling with a little urgency. “Tubs I think ’m gonna go for the night… yeah I’m kinda sleepy- tired. I’m kinda tired.” Tubbo didn’t seem to notice he was acting a little (haha get it?) off and let him go with a simple, “Alright boss man! Actually get some sleep tonight alright?” Ranboo laughed (definitely didn’t giggle), “Ok hy-hypocrite Tubbo!” With that Ranboo disconnected from the call.
Tubbo was so silly! Tubbo really is Ranboo’s best friend, he can't wait to see… wait he just hung up on Tubbo. Tubbo’s… gone. Now Ranboo is alone. All… alone. He let out another whine and felt his eyes tear up. He didn’t want to be alone (like he always was) but he also didn’t want Tubbo to find out about his new dilema. Ranboo shook his head and weakly swiped at his tears. There are too many thoughts in his head and they’re all too big and sad. He just wants to go to sleep, so he grabs his Michael plush from behind his monitor and flops into bed with his fictional son cradled to his chest.
Being all wrapped up in his cozy blankets makes him wonder what it would be like if they were actually someone’s arms around him, holding him close. The thought comforts him for a moment before he realizes he’ll probably never get that. No one can know about him being little, besides he’s not even truly little. He’s too tall and lanky to be held gently and with love, like something worth holding. Ranboo lets out a sob, curls into a tight ball, and cries himself to sleep. Little did he know that night would just be the beginning.