Actions

Work Header

hold me while i fall apart

Summary:

In a world overrun by monsters, Hyunsoo was not expecting to find freedom in men.

A free bird would fly to no man's land, where there was no prison, where nothing stalked the halls at night, where the sky's the limit and it could soar as far as the eye could see.

But there is no escape, and he can't fly. He's a caged tiger, and Eunhyuk holds his key.

-

In which the apocalypse is coincidentally very good at forcing emotionally constipated individuals to confront their feelings.

Chapter 1: radio static

Notes:

i crammed 140 chapters of a manhwa and 10 hours worth of a show into my brain over the course of three days. this was the unholy hell spawn of a hyperfixation that at this rate won't die for months and a hopeless gay author. enjoy!!

Chapter Text

Eunhyuk had never been nice to him. From the get-go, he had been treated like a tool. He was treated like he wasn't human, like he was inanimate. He was never spared more than a glance when he came back battered and bruised because everyone knew he'd be fixed up soon enough. Hyunsu did the dirty work, the offensive work, the scavenging like some sort of animal. Eunhyuk did the mapping, the planning, the paperwork, the people pleasing, whatever he could do from the comfort of the camera room.

That's how it had always been, and as Hyunsu trudged up the steps of Greenhome with his spear in hand it didn't look like things would change any time soon.

Hyun leaned against the doorframe of the 13th floor stairwell, heart pumping steadily in his chest as he listened for any signs of a monster. He closed his eyes and counted the seconds.

One... two... three... there.

Footsteps on the concrete floor. Hyunsu exhaled, stalling for a moment. The telltale beep of the earpiece ringing in his ears left him on edge, silent. His heart beat heavily against his ribs as he sat there now, hand over his mouth, trying to quiet his breathing. Best keep moving; he didn’t need supplies from this floor anyway. As he ascended the steps, the footsteps grew closer. Hyunsu braced himself, keeping his ears open for any indication of an impending attack. The footsteps halted to a stop just below him.

The 13th floor door had been blown off its hinges during the brawl between the protein monster and the blind creature that likes to wander these halls. It put him on edge wandering past that particular corridor because of how goddamn easy it was to get jumped.

A shallow breath followed by a hacking cough sounded just behind him, a little too close for comfort. He froze, the prickly hairs on the back of his neck standing straight up. Speak of the devil. A chill ran up his spine as the beep sounded again, holding its tone now.

Shit fuck damnit damnit.

He turned his head slowly, careful not to pull a cord or hit the railing, eyes following the monster's slow, wobbly path back down the stairs.

"I can't seeee...." it croaked. It sounded like a toad with a nasty cold, or nails on a chalkboard, or both. Carefully, he took a step, and hastily followed the route again once he decided he was well out of it's earshot.

He heard another cough- hoarse and painful sounding, but distant. He was safe for now.

Eyes on the prize, he solemnly reminded himself as he stepped out onto the 14th floor. He held his spear at the ready, primed to fire at least 11k volts directly into whatever assailants may be lurking in the shadows. Then, just as he'd come to expect, he saw a flash of movement just outside his line of sight.

The monster got about three feet before Hyunsu brandished his weapon and it shrank back.

"Ggwaarrgwrgrr...." The growl came out a wet sounding gurgle. Hyunsu swallowed, bracing himself. It had seemed docile enough the past few times he'd encountered it, although the unblinking eyes suspended lazily in its green slime left him on edge and sick to his stomach. After what felt like an eternity standing there at an impasse, it finally slipped off into the vents with a loud and unpleasant schlorp.

Hyunsu grimaced. He lowered his weapon and pressed on, eyes searching the plaques drilled into the wall next to each door. 1406.... 1407... 1408.

He placed his hand on the doorknob and twisted, stepping into the familiar apartment. The shrill tone pierced through the silence like a sword through inky black silk. He loosened the headphones and let them fall. She wasn't hurting anyone.

Kneeling on the floor, he shoveled as much food and drink as he could into his backpack. At Dusik's request, he also spent a good minute or two digging through spare parts for anything usable. The room was emptying out now, slowly but surely. Soon, they'd have to start searching the rest of the establishment for leftovers; Dusik's stash would only last them so long. He didn't like that thought, so he chose to move away from it for the time being. That sounded like a problem for future Hyun.

While he was digging around the apartment, he came across a pair of noise-cancelling headphones. With a twinge of guilt, he slipped them into his bag for his own use. At last, he'd be able to listen to the white noise of the radio stations without the murmurings of the other survivors bothering him.

Once his backpack was almost too heavy for him to carry, he decided it was probably time to start heading back. He left a bit of food and drink behind as insurance in case something went wrong on the descent and the supplies were destroyed.

Hyun grabbed his spear from where he'd left it propped up against the doorframe and stepped out once again into the unnerving silence of the desolate hall. With a deep breath to calm himself and a heaviness fitting itself like a jigsaw piece into his heart, he started what would prove to be a treacherous voyage down.

The stairwell was dark and wholly unpleasant. It carried that heavy, rotten smell often accompanied by monsters. His senses were in overdrive. Every rustle of the wind outside of Greenhome left him on the tips of his toes, eyes narrowing at every shadow that might've moved behind him, the silence beating on his eardrums like the steady thumping of a helicopter propeller. He took slow, deliberate steps down the stairs, one side of his headphones pressed back into his ear.

Floor 12 was one of the safest. Hyun was lucky that the monsters had strict territories, and even luckier that they hated to leave them. The floor had been combed already, and declared completely vacant, save for the rancid charred carnage left behind after they'd torched the place.

As he trod down the next few flights of stairs, harsh experience keeping his steps light and noise minimal, he had time to think. Silence wasn't very good company, but it was better than incessant ringing through his earbuds or the harassment of the plague claiming dominion over his head. It was so strange how only a week ago he'd been standing on the roof of this very building, pondering how best to leave the world behind. Now he was giving everything he had to survive the massacre left in the wake of the world that chose to leave him first. Funny, how much can change in a week. From saving two lives to over a dozen. So much pressure was weighing on his fragile shoulders. He would crack eventually, but they needed him now. He couldn’t die yet.

He snapped out of his reverie to a loud beep, stumbling on the edge of a step. He just barely caught the railing with a sweaty hand, and then his eyes sprang wide as the meaning of the ringing in his earbuds manifested a little too close to home. A cold voice behind him made his heart freeze and his blood run cold.

"I hear you...." Once again, Hyunsu was left weighing the option of jumping. But that would damage the cargo, wouldn't it? He decided the broken legs weren't quite worth it, not yet anyway. As quietly as he could, Hyun sidled slowly past the creature through the door to floor 10. Each step padded soundlessly on the floor, but his lungs were burning as he forced himself to hold his breath. He backed slowly through the stairwell door and finally tore his gaze from the blind monster shifting ponderously on the stairs behind him. Relief washed over him as he turned his back and slipped a cautious foot towards the center of the hall.

Something bullet-fast shot just past his ear.

Hyun’s heart stopped. His blood felt like lead. He took a shallow breath, chest shaking with the effort of staying quiet, hyper aware of twitching muscle half an inch from his cheek. Please say it didn’t hear—

Then a web of sharp spines exploded around him. and it took every bit of his willpower to choke back a guttural scream as one of the spikes rammed into his leg. He crumpled sideways against the wall, fiercely trying to ignore his nerves screaming at him to cry for help. He forcefully trapped an agonized sob deep in his throat, barely retaining the presence of mind to silence his fall with his fingertips. His hands scrabbled across the floor, instinctive and desperate, for anything he could use as a weapon, anything at all, but his fingers met only dirt and dust.

Think, think, think, Hyunsu! Think! What could he do? His clammy fingers found the answer before his paralyzed brain had time to catch up. He forced himself off the floor with a deep grimace, sharp muscle tearing at his flesh, teeth gritting so hard they might crack. With something approaching the average thought process of a rabid squirrel, he launched himself at the creature and tackled it against the wall, forcing its chin up with a forearm as he fumbled something over its head. He’d flung himself off and bolted down two flights of stairs before the monster could even react to its new noise-cancelling headset, helpless to follow without sound to guide it.

Hyun wanted to put as much distance between himself and the monster as he could. When he finally stumbled to a stop at the doors of floor 9, the belated terror of what had just happened slammed into him like a truck, driving what little breath he had remaining out of his body. So much for the peace of radio static.