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It was highschool, I was in my second year, you were in your first. We fought a battle on the court, a push and pull of wills. I was the star, the professional bound prodigy, you were an unknown, an enigma.
But when you jumped the whole world turned to look at you, you were the sun, the center of everything. I was used to everyone looking, cheering for me, but for once I wanted to watch someone else. Your plays were raw, unrefined, but your passion continued to drive you forward. I felt in that moment your ravenous hunger, I wanted to share that meal.
We lost to you. A spike, a block. A ball sent by me and returned by you. In the heat of the moment, I pointed. At you. I declared that I would toss for you one day. You blinked at me confused, but it didn’t matter if I had gotten through. It was as much a declaration to myself as it was to anyone else.
—
Your final year, I came to watch your final match. I wore a medical mask, as a professional player loitering around a high school national tournament, I couldn't risk being caught. The ensuing crowd would have been a nightmare. You found me anyway. You ran up to me excitedly, eyes glowing, a bronze medal around your neck. It wasn’t good enough for you, we both knew it. You wanted more. To go higher, faster.
It was then that you told me you were going away. Somewhere in Brazil? You were chasing that bottomless hunger, and nothing and no one could stop you. The look in your eyes then, the intensity, the longing for the future. It only strengthened my own longing.
I worked twice as hard at training after that. If you were going to grow, I was going to do it alongside you, even if you weren’t aware. When you were gone, our texts were few and far between. I hoped you would watch my matches sometimes. I dreamed of when you would return.
—
You appeared one morning before my eyes, a cheeky grin upon your face. “Atsumu-san, I’m back.” you stated plainly. Your voice had deepend, your body more toned and your eyes carried the scope of the world with them. “Yeah” I choked because the slightly dampened feelings I had been carrying with me all these years suddenly broke free, like water out of a dam.
We won our first match together. Against the Adlers, you were incredible. You had climbed the ladder, but now on land, it was just the first step for you. Your hunger never died, and I never think it will. But now we finally share that meal.
We share many meals in fact. Just you and me. And finally one day, I tell you how I feel. More like I sputter it, face red as a tomato, unable to make sense of the words flowing out of my mouth. You say nothing, letting me finish my garbled nonsense before smiling wide and deep as the ocean you had played beside for so many years. You kiss me, and in that moment, I am free.
Hinata shut the journal with a quick snap and eased it back into the desk drawer where he had found the unassuming little book. His face gently flushed at his accidental discovery. He really truly had not meant to pry, but he found himself captivated by the words he had found scrawled across the pages.
“Hey Shoyo,” he heard his name called, nearly causing him to squeak. Turning, he saw Atsumu peeking his head into their bedroom. “What’s takin’ ya so long? Breakfast is ready!”
Hinata beamed at his blonde haired partner, nearly skipping over to him from the giddiness still bubbling in his stomach. “What’s gotcha so happy this mornin’ babe?” Atsumu inquired with a cute little tilt of his head.
“Nothing!” Hinata grinned, placing a gentle kiss on Atsumu’s cheek. “I just love you so so much.”
Atsumu’s eyes sparkled in response, his voice oozing with adoration. “I love you too Sho.”
It was a bright sunday morning, the two enjoying a quiet breakfast in their shared apartment. Atsumu might have fallen in love with him three times, Hinata thought, but he was ready to fall in love with Atsumu a thousand times more.