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It’s official. Richie still has a crush on Eddie.
Now, you may be thinking, 'I would sure fucking hope so, you've been married to him for four years.' And to that, Richie says, 'actually, we've been married for five, and I've been in love with him since I was thirteen,' which doesn’t help his case, but at least he’s keeping track.
Look, being in love is different from having a crush. And Richie knows that he’s head over heels in love with Eddie, he always will be. However, he also knows that he has the biggest, fattest, middle school-esque crush on him.
You’d think that at some point after the beginning of a relationship, the puppy love stage would end. The longer you’re together, the more used to each other’s company you get, and it kind of fades away from ‘crush’ territory. Not in the sense of being over the person, but in the sense of being perfectly content with each other and not having to worry about their appearance or getting nervous around them. Now, Richie is perfectly content with Eddie, but after six years together and five of them married, Richie hasn’t grown out of that.
Some days, Richie will find himself staring at his husband, calm and content as he examines that man's facial features and expressions that drive him crazy. And when Eddie looks back at him and gives that small closed-mouthed smile, he feels embarrassed, like he's been caught, but he also feels warm inside, smiling back as he begins to turn red and butterflies envelop his stomach.
Some days, Richie will be trying to draft out jokes for his next stand-up set, and when he’s stuck in a roadblock, he’ll scribble hearts and ‘R+E’ in the margins like a damn kid in math class. His mind will wander and he’ll sit there just thinking about the love of his life (instead of some kind of inspiration for his literal career) until twenty minutes have passed and he’s got nothing down.
Some days, Richie laughs. Some days, Richie cries. Some days, he feels like he’s on top of the world, and some days, he wants to shut himself in his room and scream into a pillow. But all of those days are spent with Eddie. So even when Richie is crying or shutting himself in his room and screaming into a pillow, that idea makes it slightly more bearable.
He always wants Eddie near him. He wants to kiss him, cuddle him, let him know how absolutely adored he is. He’ll feel his phone buzz in his pocket and go ‘Oh, I hope that’s my husband.’ Go on, call him clingy. He'll agree with you. When Eddie comes home from work, Richie's like a dog whose owner left the house for thirty minutes. Being able to make his own hours from home (unless it's the exact opposite when he’s on tour) is fun and all, but there’s one downside of essentially being a househusband. Not being able to spend time with him for the chunk of the day you’re stuck at home and he’s not. And when Richie isn't focused on anything else, his mind is going 'Eddie, Eddie, Eddie,' like a broken record that he never plans on fixing. Also, Richie doesn’t really own any nice clothes, but when the two of them go on dates, he makes sure to wear his least tacky patterned button-down. He almost gets anxious, making sure he looks absolutely perfect like he’s going to prom or something.
It all paid off in the end, didn't it? Spending his whole childhood bullied, remaining in denial of himself all throughout adulthood, only to get smacked back in the face with the reality of his feelings upon returning to Derry. It was brutal, but it was a necessary wake-up call, and it paid off in the end. He almost wants to thank whatever random, outlying force was controlling fate. But, then again, said outlying force was also in charge of the whole demon killer clown thing, so he doesn't.
Surprisingly, Eddie was entirely on board with it when Richie proposed six months into their relationship, and eight months later, Eddie Kaspbrak was Eddie Tozier (frequently abbreviated to E.T. by Richie). One of Richie's fondest memories was when he met Stan for drinks one night while he was in town and asked him to be his best man by drunkenly slurring "Stanley, you can't be Stan the Man anymore… I need you to be Stan the Best Man.” Stan nearly refused the offer purely because of the way the other had asked, but don’t worry, he came around about ten seconds later.
The quick pace of their relationship still hasn't backfired on them once in five years, but then again, these guys were in love in middle school, so it makes sense that both of them decided to themselves long ago ‘Yup, this is the man I’m gonna marry.’ To quote Eddie’s wedding vows, “I promise to never wait another twenty-some-odd years to tell you I love you, because let’s all face it, this was an incredibly long time coming.”
Richie gets to see and know things about Eddie that no one else can. He gets to sit in awe at the fact that Eddie has fucking washboard abs despite being forty-six. He gets to listen to him rant about stocks and anti-vaxxers and gas prices. He gets to laugh at (and be slightly jealous of) Eddie’s female coworkers flirting with him at his job that Richie still doesn’t understand but is proud of him for, anyways. Since Derry, Eddie’s been significantly relocated, significantly moved up positions in his field, and significantly divorced (thank God). And things have improved for Richie, too; he’s upped his celebrity status slightly, he’s released another comedy special, he’s publicly out of the closet, and he’s fully chosen to ignore the gray hairs. What a coincidence that everything in his life decided to do a total one-eighty once the clown died… aside from the trauma, of course.
The two of them will forever remember the headline of the first news article released about their relationship. Richie Tozier Comes Out as Bisexual, Confirms That the Hunk He’s Been Seen With in Public Is His Fiancé.
“They called me a hunk,” Eddie had observed, though he said it more like a question.
“I know, right? I mean, you’re clearly a twink," Richie mused in response, which wasn't even correct by definition—he just wanted to get a rise out of the other.
Yeah. He loves him.
If you asked Richie as a child where he'd want to be in the future, he'd say, 'Doing your mom, obviously.' But, of course, that wasn't the truth. His real answer would be exactly how he's living his life now. Well, not exactly , he knows that Child Him would puke if he found out that Future Him actually likes staying in on Saturday nights or unironically wearing socks with sandals, just like his father (Don't get him wrong, Went was a good man, he was just Lame as Hell). But Child Richie's true answer wasn't too far from what actually happened— famous, and with Eddie. Obviously, that second part was buried deep, deep down in his subconscious, long ago he could hardly even admit to himself that it was there, let alone to other people. But it was there. And it came true.
Often, Richie thinks about how he got here today. He thinks about their first date, which was probably more nerve-wracking than any demon clown encounter or live comedy show ever could be. He thinks about the night he proposed, ever so slightly tipsy and coming off his post-performance high at a local open mic. The ring had been burning a hole in his pocket all night. He never really had a plan for when he was going to propose, he just kept it on him when they went out, just in case. That night, he literally just went for it, and it wasn't super flashy or romantic or anything, but it was clearly convincing enough for Eddie. He thinks about how he sighed in satisfaction with himself as he sat next to his eventual husband, applause dying down as the next performer took the stage.
He looked at him for a second, then spoke. "Do you want to get married?"
Eddie buffered, blinking. "What?"
"Do you want to get married," Richie repeated earnestly. He glanced down, fumbling for the pocket of his jeans, pulling out the ring box and opening it towards the other. They both knew that not making it super big was the best option, not only because he knew Eddie wasn't a fan of huge demonstrations and surprises, but also because it was risky; you never know what kind of homophobes are lurking around every corner. In fact, it would take an incredible deal of consideration from both of them before they decided to go public with their relationship. So here Richie was, simply sitting down at an open mic and holding out a ring to the love of his life in a complete spur-of-the-moment decision.
"Oh, my God," Eddie said simply, a disbelieving smile creeping up his face. A blush would likely be noticeable if they weren't in the dim light of the bar.
"I… I know that it's only been, what, six months? And this is, like, stupid of me. But I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I think we can do it, I'm serious. I love you so fucking much, Eddie. So, um, will you do me the honor of being my husband?" He pulled this little speech out of thin air, slightly awkward and not entirely knowing the words he was trying to say until he heard them.
"It's not stupid," Eddie responded, placing a hand on Richie's thigh. "I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, too. I've waited this long, man, I'm not gonna turn you down just because we've only been official for six months."
"Waited twenty-seven years," Richie affirmed softly with a grin. "So, run that by me again, is that a yes or a no?"
"It's a yes, you asshole," Eddie grinned back, and without missing a beat, they'd leaned in to connect their lips. The best-case scenario had been achieved, and Richie was reeling in it. And it was also nice that a waitress nearby overheard the whole thing and decided to give them their drinks for free in celebration. Richie was surprised he didn't cry. No, he was saving those tears for the actual wedding.
And what a night their wedding was, nothing short of the greatest day in the history of the world, to him. He didn't care about anyone else who thought they had him beat or any other incredible, significant world event. September 16th, 2017 was The Best Day.
Stan’s best man speech was a four-minute roast session that turned into an incredibly heartfelt tribute to the couple and their relationship that left several people in tears, just his style. Bill, on the other hand, had stated in his speech that he had to work very hard to get it under five minutes, guess that was just the writer in him. He'd decided to retell the story of how he and Eddie became friends, far before the Losers Club was founded, and he touched on the moment he knew that Richie and Eddie were in love (Summer of 1988, the hammock in the Losers' Clubhouse). He ended with a toast: “Here’s to none of us ever having to sit through the two of them obviously pining for each other ever again.”
It was accurate. Richie swears that every Loser’s response to finding out he and Eddie had started dating was “Finally.”
The morning after a beautiful ceremony and raging reception, Richie woke up at home, in bed, and naked, which wasn't very surprising. Both of them drank the night before, but not too much, just a light buzz for the sake of a party. Because there were some things in Richie's life that he actually wanted to remember, and not-so-surprisingly, his wedding was one of those things. And the day after was one of the most calming and peaceful days of his life. Yeah, he was slightly hungover, but they were already packed for their honeymoon and didn't leave until the next day, meaning they had the whole day to themselves to do absolutely nothing, just bask in each other's company as newlyweds. Well, Eddie did insist on going on his morning jog, but other than that, absolutely nothing. That morning was far from the first time that Richie woke up next to Eddie, but it was the first time that Richie woke up next to his husband.
He never fell in love after his first Derry experience. He never could. When he was living on his own in LA, when he had zero recollection of his entire childhood and was literally famous with almost infinite amounts of connections, not a single person fully caught his eye. Sure, he dated, and there were a lot of people he really liked. But nobody caused that spark, nobody was good enough for him to fall in love with. At first, he figured that everyone else just wasn’t right for him. He just needed to keep looking, he convinced himself. But as time went on and he ended more relationships, he began to believe that he was the problem. He thought there was something wrong with him, he felt as though his brain was broken. In his relationships, there was always something off, something missing. Nothing was right, and there was a point where he just assumed he had stupidly high standards or he could just never be satisfied. It made him feel horrible.
But then, he returned to Derry and all of the memories came flooding back. He could fall in love, the issue was just that he was already in love for the entire time he was away.
That ‘something missing’ was clear. Nobody was Eddie.
Now, six years later, Richie’s sitting on the loveseat, watching Eddie fill out some paperwork at the dining room table. Laptop open, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, the sun peeking through the blinds and highlighting his face so damn perfectly. Richie watches how his jaw clenches and unclenches, how his eyes quickly dart between the screen and paper, how he shakes his head and mutters to himself at the minimal times he makes a mistake, scribbling out his previous pen marks. They’re sitting in complete silence, far across the room from each other, a distance that almost feels like miles. And Richie can't help but think about how lucky he is.
Eddie looks at him and smiles, and Richie feels that familiar warm feeling again. The butterflies envelop his stomach once more and he feels so safe, so loved. He smiles back and gives a small wave.
He married that man. He, of all people, gets to be his husband, and he’s the only person in the world that can say that he's married to Edward James Tozier.
How cool is that?