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When you first bring it up, Wash gives a dry laugh and shakes it off, but you can tell that he's uneasy. There is absolutely no need for that. You are not who you used to be, no longer crazy. The memories are still there and you will never be able to forget, but you are in control now. Nothing could go wrong.
The second time you ask he firmly rejects the idea. He tells you that he is not comfortable with having someone in his head again. He doesn't blame you for what happened, but he makes it very clear that he's not interested in hosting you again. You accept his answer and silently make plans to convince him otherwise.
Carolina and you work well together. She's not Washington, not your real partner, the one you were chosen for. But for now she will do. Until you've convinced Wash that you belong together.
The third time you mention it he looks scared. You pull up the numbers, the compatibility that Delta calculated. Instead of pleased, he looks panicked and tells you to cut it out. You don't understand why he keeps rejecting you. You both know that you're a perfect match. You were chosen for a reason.
And as much as you like Carolina, she's not Wash. She's not who you want to be with.
You leave him be for a while. Fight with Tucker, hang out with Caboose, and help Carolina kick ass. You bide your time.
Wash seems to have calmed down, but you need to be careful how you approach him. Another open attempt might lead to another argument. To Wash withdrawing further from you. And you can't allow that. He's yours, and always will be. You will be together again. Wash doesn't know what's good for him, but you do. And you're what's best for him.
So you try to be subtle, try to win him over. Sometimes you stick around and watch him train with the others. Making suggestions how to improve. He's suspicious at first, but grows to appreciate your support. You talk to him when everyone else is busy. You're being a good friend. Just trying to make up for a stupid mistake.
You haven't asked again, even though you desperately want to. By now the need to be together has gone from an itch in your head to a constant pain. It's necessary for you to be with him. But if you ask him again, you will lose his new found trust, might even lose him competely, and that would ruin your plans. So you're trying to be patient.
You accompany him and Carolina on perimeter checks, short missions, and help them secure Chorus. Locus and Felix are still out there. But as long as you are here they won't get Wash, and Carolina.
Locus's obsession with Wash is creepy. Some of the logs that you stole and decrypted focus on Wash's every single movement. How he straightens his back when he gives orders, how he bows his head when he makes a mistake, how he likes to curl up and enjoy the sun when he feels save - which isn't often. Although his observations are correct, he has no right to watch Wash, has no claim over him. You will make certain that he never gets Wash.
You know everything about him. How his mother traded her own body for food, to keep her son safe. How his father couldn't deal with that and turned to drinking. How he got drafted and was sent to the front lines. How the director picked him for the project after he had killed a commanding officer. Locus could never dream of knowing what you know. No matter how much he spies on him, he will never understand or have Wash. You will make sure of that.
Wash is yours, and he will come to understand in time.
He lets you in his storage unit. He carries you around, keeping you close, and you are tempted, oh so tempted. But you can't mess up now. Not when you are so close to your goal.
You ask Grey and Sarge to make another android body for you. Just in case. They agree. They build you an amazing body. Fast and strong.
It won't be much longer now.
He gets sent on a mission. Nothing big, but he needs to be radio silent for a while. So the others let him go. You watch him go, keeping track of his coordinates via armor. He can't hide from you. You need to keep track of him to keep him safe.
He's been gone for a week when Carolina mentions that you should try training in your new body. That you should get used to being a person again. You don't want to be person, but you don't tell her that. You want to be with Wash, and you will be, but if Carolina gets suspicious everything will fall apart.
After the second day in your own body you steal the necessary equipment and a surgical gun.
Then you leave. You block your trackers and jam the radio, no one can reach you.
Wash is easy to find. He's surprised and a bit suspicious when you catch up to him, but you tell him that Carolina sent you to check on him. He believes you when you show him a fabricated audio message from Carolina. He's glad that you're here. He won't say it, but you knows he is.
You hold yourself back, help him complete his mission, become his pillar of support. Unfortunately the jeep you stole breaks down in the middle of nowhere on your way back.
You're alone.
When the night falls and you sit in your make-shift camp, you bring it up again. He freezes and stares at you. Again he rejects you, tries to explain that he will never be able to host another AI again, that his mind is no longer fit for an AI. But you know better. You know that you can fix everything. That you can be complete again.
The instant you reach out for him, he scrambles to his feet, pulling his rifle. He tells you to stand down, but you easily knock the rifle out of his hand, already knowing how he's going to attack. He uses a knife to cut your throat. Temporary impending on your functions. You go down. You were so blinded by the joy of finally getting your chance that you underestimated him.
When you manage to get your body back on your feet, he's gone. Your sensors show him about a mile away from you. You grab the surgical gun and follow.
He keeps changing directions to throw you of his trail. He won't lose you. You know him too well, can predict his every move. You easily catch up to him. He attacks and runs. You let him. He will wear himself out. You enjoy the hunt, knowing that the greatest reward awaits for you at the end.
The sun dawns when you decide to capture your prize.
He's exhausted, panting when you approach him, the mission and the hunt have worn him out. He tells you to stop. He's trying to be strong. But he isn't strong without you. He needs you.
He attacks and tries to take you down. You let him get a few hits in before you grab one of his hands and throw him to the ground. You try to be gentle, but Wash's struggling makes it impossible.
You sit on his back and grab both of his wrists in one hand. He tries to buck you off, but your firm grip and heavy weight makes it difficult for him to move properly. You let him struggle, listen to the sounds he makes. Like a trapped animal. He tries his radio again and again. But you jammed that long ago.
You take off his helmet and expose his neck. You can see the scars and scratch marks where they violently tore you out when you where self-destructing. You gently caress the marks and lean down to press a kiss on them.
Underneath you Wash sobs. He's begging now. Not again, no, no. Stop. Please don't. His pupils are dilated, his breathing too fast. He's on the verge of a panic attack. There is no reason for him to be. Everything is going to be perfect.
He doesn't understand yet. But he will.
You pull out the surgical gun and press it to his neck.
When you're done you stroke his hair and murmur comforting words, nuzzling his nape.
You waited for so long. You can't wait any longer.
You leave behind your android body and plunge in.
Wash screams in pain, trashing violently. His mind whirling around you.
It feels like coming home.
Pure bliss.