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It had been two years since it had started.
Two years since Katsuki had looked up at the voice complimenting him only to see the most beautiful man in the world.
Two years since Katsuki had let somebody in.
It had been two years since Katsuki realised that he had fallen in love with Kirishima Eijirou.
It hadn’t been a fun time to say the least. Falling in love with your best friend is a son of a bitch to deal with and Kirishima was the most oblivious motherfucker in existence at the best of times. Needless to say it was a pain in the ass but Katsuki was 90% sure it would be over any day now. Yes, he was fully aware it had been two years, but he was still hoping that it would be over soon.
Any day now…
He knew it was a stupid wish, considering the one time he tried to force his affections out of his system it ended with Kirishima crying outside his door wondering why Katsuki was ignoring him. Katsuki may have been an ass, but he was also a very weak man so hearing the boy quietly mutter apologies into his door thinking that Katsuki was asleep for 3 days in a row was out of the question. On day four he broke and they had an unspoken agreement not to bring it up. Regardless, avoiding Kirishima was out of the question, so his feelings were here to stay for the foreseeable future.
He could always confess…
HAH! Not a chance in hell. The bastard would get uncomfortable and leave, and he was too important to Katsuki to let that happen. So he waited in the middle ground, staring at his best friend, in a way that a blind person could see wasn’t exactly platonic, and wishing. Never taking, but wishing. He’d never hesitated before. Never waited for someone else to make the first move. Sure, fighting and love were two very different things, but at least he knew what to do when it came to the former. He wasn’t stupid, he had known he was too far gone the moment he grabbed Kirishima’s hand back at Kamino. He had a diagnosis, he had every symptom, and yet he couldn’t get his hands on the cure.
So there he stayed, waiting for Kirishima to tell him that he knew Katsuki was in love with him, waiting for Kirishima to tell him to leave. He’d never been afraid before, especially when it came to another person’s feelings, but if his friend didn’t want him around anymore because of his stupid fucking feelings he might tear his heart out and shout at it until the organ got its shit together.
But he could indulge for a moment when he stared. Let himself feel it for a millisecond before he pushed his racing heart deep down into his gut so that nobody but him could hear it. Those moments were like a dam being ripped open, a tidal wave of indescribable feelings washing over him as he glanced at his friend.
But he could pretend.
Pretend like he didn’t know what his beating heart meant.
Pretend that he felt nothing towards Kirishima.
Pretend that these obscene emotions would be gone soon.
Any day now…