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Kieran honestly couldn’t believe his eyes.
When Kym had invited Will, Lauren, and Kieran to a bar on a Friday night, he had expected it to be somewhat like the New Year’s Party a few months ago.
He did not think it would be this insane.
“Kym, get down,” Will groaned, his restraint against raising his voice breaking. He pulled at Kym’s arm again, trying to get her off of the table she was currently standing on as she drunkenly sang whatever song was playing in the bar. She snatched her arm away from Will and remained on the table, oblivious to the many bar customers that were staring at her. Some seemed to enjoy the entertainment, but most were annoyed with all the noise.
Lauren was a little better. It seemed that, in her drunken state, she resorted to crawling under the table to avoid the chaos. At least she wasn't disturbing anyone. She stayed under there for some time, her hand occasionally appearing to grab a fallen glass or a piece of food that Kieran offered her from his seat in the booth. Normally, she probably would’ve smacked his hand away or teased him for trying to feed her, but she happily took the food and a few seconds later, would stick her hand out for another bite.
Will, accepting defeat, slumped down in the booth across from Kieran, instantly grabbing a stray shot of alcohol and downing it. He wasn’t drunk like Kym or Lauren, wanting to stay as sober as possible, but dealing with Ladell seemed to take its toll. Kieran chuckled, sliding over his tray of fries that he had just ordered.
“Relax, Will. She’ll wind down eventually and pass out,” Kieran assured him, taking a fry and giving it to Lauren’s outstretched hand.
“Not before she wrecks the entire bar and is kicked out,” Will sighed, not taking any food and rubbing his face with his hands like he could wake up and this would all be a dream. Or a horrible nightmare.
“At least if they threaten to call the cops, you can just flash your badge at them,” Kieran teased, taking another fry for Lauren and one for himself. He could’ve sworn he heard a faint “Thank you” from Lauren, but the bar was so loud (Kym making half of the noise) that he chalked it up to his imagination.
“I’m surprised you’re not taking the edge off, especially with all that overtime you’ve been working,” Will said, finally taking a fry. Kieran chuckled, shaking his head. He had been working a lot of overtime since the factory incident, but it was… well, it was still better than his actual job.
“I have to get this one home,” he said, nodding towards Lauren under the table, her hand once again open for a fry. He obliged her. “And I don’t like to drink if I can avoid it. Hangovers are hell.”
Plus, he had no idea how many enemies were lurking in the dark, waiting for him to slip up and drink too much. He had made that mistake once and barely made it out alive. He’d rather avoid it, especially if he was taking care of a very drunk Lauren.
Just as he thought of her, Kieran felt something press against his leg and he looked down. Lauren's head leaned against his leg and she might've even dozed off. It seemed that Lauren had had her fun, tired from her previous exhaustion and now her drinking. He figured that was as good as any reason to get going.
“You’ll take care of Ladell, right?” Kieran teased, carefully shaking Lauren’s shoulder to wake her up. He heard Will sigh.
“Who else is going to?” he grumbled, but Kieran could tell he wasn’t entirely opposed to taking care of Kym.
“I think Lauren’s done for tonight. We’ll see you on Monday,” Kieran said, slowly dragging Lauren from under the table and helping her get her feet under her body. Once she was standing properly, Kieran moved to pay the tab, but Will waved his hand away.
“Don’t worry about it. Kym’ll probably have some food later anyways,” Will said, stopping any of Kieran’s protests with a shake of his head. “Nope. Please take care of Lauren.” Will paused, looking like he just remembered something. “Actually, Lauren’s uncle isn’t home for the weekend and I don’t know if any of her staff are there.” Kieran caught where he was going with this and even though Will didn’t look entirely pleased with the fact Lauren didn’t have anyone at home, he still had that questioning look in his eyes.
“I’ll take her to my place. She’s been there and she’ll probably pass out as soon as we get there. I’ll make sure she’s fine, Will,” Kieran said reassuringly. Apparently, it had been the right thing to say as Will’s shoulders slumped in relief.
“Thank you, Kier–”
Crash.
Will cursed under his breath, barely waving goodbye before going to search for Ladell and see what damage she caused. Kieran turned to Lauren, her eyes closed as she stood there and it seemed that she hadn’t listened to a word of his and Will’s conversation. Which Kieran didn’t really mind.
“Lauren,” Kieran drawled, Lauren’s head lifting at his voice. She opened her eyes and scowled at him.
“I’m sleeping,” she said firmly, though her words were slightly slurred.
“You can sleep when we get home,” Kieran said, taking her hand without a second thought and pulling her from the bar just as he heard the manager yelling at Kym and Will. Poor Lieutenant.
As they stepped outside, Kieran took in the cool air, winter turning into spring. It was so much different than the bar, which had been hot and smelly and claustrophobic. But out here, he could finally breathe peacefully.
“My uncle’s not home,” Lauren said quietly, her voice uncharacteristically sad. “He’s with Dakan.” Kieran had figured as much.
“I mean my home, detective,” Kieran said teasingly, realizing that he was still holding her hand. He began pulling his hand from hers when her grip tightened, her eyes still on the sidewalk ahead. Neither of them said anything, but Kieran didn’t try removing his hand.
“Is there food?” Lauren asked, almost sounding grumpy. Kieran couldn’t help but laugh.
“Yes, darling. There’s food,” he assured her, unable to contain his smile as Lauren’s eyes lit up at the prospect of eating. At least she wants to eat , Kieran thought.
“Good. You’re not as worthless as I thought,” Lauren quipped. Kieran pressed his free hand to his heart in mock offense. The gesture just amplified the fact in his mind that he was holding Lauren Sinclair’s hand.
“ How you wound me, love, ” he said, his voice sounding hurt. Lauren stuck her tongue out at him.
“Your ego is too big to wound,” she said with a roll of her eyes. Kieran chuckled, shaking his head slightly. He took a turn onto his street and had to practically drag Lauren the right way, her feet stumbling at the sudden turn.
“Are you going to finally fall for me, detective?” Kieran teased as she straightened herself. She glared at him.
“Absolutely not,” she said, her chin raised as she stopped and faced him with a challenging stare. He turned to her, a small smirk on his face.
“Are you sure about that?”
“100 percent.”
“Who says you haven’t already fallen?” Kieran quipped. Lauren rolled her eyes again, turning away from him and stomping towards his apartment.
Though, Kieran couldn’t help but notice, she simply dragged him along instead of releasing his hand. Unwillingly, it made his heart stutter.
“What are you looking at, subordinate?” Lauren teased, her face suddenly appearing in his vision. Kieran stilled, only then realizing that he had been staring at their clasped hands. He cleared his throat, chuckling in an attempt to divert her attention.
“We’re here, detective,” Kieran said, lifting his key that he had grabbed from his pocket. In her drunken state, she simply smiled, mostly likely at the prospect of food, and practically radiated joy as she waited for him to unlock the door.
Bursting into the apartment, Lauren finally released his hand and Kieran felt cold without it. He silently scolded himself, shoving that feeling down as he locked the door and took off his shoes while reminding Lauren to do the same (which she entirely ignored).
“Food, subordinate,” Lauren nearly shouted from her place at the table, her smile teasing. Kieran rolled his eyes but he was smiling.
“As you wish, Lady Sinclair,” Kieran said with an exaggerated bow. He began taking ingredients out of his fridge. “You should go wash up. You smell of alcohol, love.” He heard Lauren huff, but she listened to his suggestion, standing and going into the bathroom to clean up.
While cooking Lauren a grilled cheese sandwich (something Lauren had said was one of her favorite comfort foods), Kieran also boiled water for some chamomile tea, knowing it would help with any nausea she had and for when she would eventually pass out.
Kieran had just placed the sandwich on a plate and poured the tea when he heard Lauren open the bathroom door with a soft click. He glanced at her, meaning for his look to briefly check that she was okay.
But the image of her standing in the bathroom doorway, freshened up and in his shirt , made him completely freeze.
Lauren sat back down at the table, not at all noticing Kieran’s stunned face as he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Somehow, despite it being the same kind of shirt, Lauren looked more beautiful in it now than she did months ago. Her fire eyes and blood-red hair were a sharp contrast to the white fabric of his shirt. And though his usual style of art was charcoal drawings, he had the overwhelming urge to capture her with paint.
“Soooo, what has my subordinate made for me?” Lauren asked as she finally looked up, her voice still slightly louder with alcohol in her system. She noticed him staring and raised an eyebrow curiously. “Something wrong?”
Kieran finally pulled himself together…somewhat. He blinked and shook his head, chuckling off his staring. He set the plate and cup down in front of Lauren.
“ Voila , mon amour. Your food, as requested,” Kieran presented with a flourish. Lauren’s eyes snagged on the food and she smiled wider than Kieran had ever seen. It made him begin to smile before he caught himself.
“I mentioned grilled cheese once,” Lauren said, exasperated as she looked at Kieran. He smiled, this time unable to hold back, and winked at her.
“I remember many things, detective,” he teased. “And the tea will help with nausea.” Lauren raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t even remember mentioning nausea,” Lauren murmured, taking a sip of tea in disbelief. Kieran just winked again.
“You didn’t need to,” he said truthfully. He had picked up on her occasionally wrapping her arms around her stomach like she was going to throw up. Kieran turned away to clean up, washing the dishes and pouring himself a cup of tea too.
“You’re not going to ask about the shirt?” Lauren asked from behind him and he could practically hear the teasing smile in her voice.
“While you’re here, this apartment is yours as much as it’s mine,” Kieran said casually, terrified that she had noticed his staring earlier.
“Huh.”
That was all Lauren said before Kieran heard her begin to eat. Kieran, having eaten at the bar, excused himself and went into his bedroom to change into a loose shirt and pants. He picked up the bedroom as well: tidying the bed, throwing clothes that were on the floor into the hamper, actually marking his page in his book instead of holding it open with an empty mug.
He left the bedroom to put away the dirty mug when he noticed that Lauren had completely finished her meal and tea. He didn’t think she would’ve finished that quickly, but alcohol tended to make one hungry. And after drinking the tea, she was getting sleepy. With her head hanging, she looked drunker than before. Kieran chuckled and her head lifted to look at him.
“Alright, detective, time to sleep,” Kieran said, putting his hands on his hips as he stood next to her. When she didn’t get up, he tilted his head at her. She was looking at him… oddly. Almost like she was lost in her own imagination or she was staring up at the stars, trying to count them.
“Your bed is small,” Lauren said matter-of-factly, but her eyes were still hazy. Kieran chuckled again.
“You’re sleeping on the bed, not both of us, love. I'll sleep on the couch,” Kieran said, gently grabbing her arm and pulling her up and out of her seat.
“Are you actually going to sleep though?” Lauren asked, her words still slightly slurred as she stood far too close for Kieran to think properly.
“Yes, yes, I’ll sleep,” he assured her, knowing it was the only thing that would get her to go to bed. “Now, come on, darling,” he said, beginning to pull her towards the bedroom.
But Lauren yanked him back to where she was standing.
Kieran furrowed his brows, opening his mouth to ask what was wrong–
And then she kissed him.
Kieran, shocked beyond belief, stayed frozen for a few seconds but those few seconds felt like hours.
Then, he remembered she was drunk.
He gently pushed her away, noticing that she was swaying on her feet. Lauren pouted, so uncharacteristic that Kieran would’ve laughed if not for the fact that Lauren Sinclair just kissed him.
“You’re drunk,” he stated, his tone firm and internally wondering if she had snuck any drinks when he hadn’t been looking and was far drunker than he anticipated. Lauren frowned at him.
“So what? I want to kiss you.”
Kieran shoved down that small kernel of hope, the spark of desire, not allowing it to grow.
She was drunk.
“You wouldn’t say that if you were sober,” Kieran said, meaning to state it as a fact, but his words came out sad.
“I would,” Lauren said with such confidence that Kieran believed for a split second that she meant it. But he pushed aside that thought and her words.
“Then, tell me when you’re sober,” he said, dragging her towards the bedroom and ushering her inside.
She probably wouldn’t even remember this conversation. Especially with the fact that as soon as she lay under the covers of the bed, she passed out. And even if she did remember, she’d pretend to forget.
Because there’s no way a sober Lauren would want to kiss him.
Kieran softly closed the door before slumping to the floor, his back pressed against the door. He ran his hands frantically through his hair, trying to calm himself.
He could still feel the ghost of her lips on his. The kiss had been so brief, but even within those few seconds, he had memorized the curve and warmth of her lips.
And as touch-starved as he was, being drunk was an automatic sign that the person couldn’t give consent.
Even if they initiated it.
Even if they wanted it.
And Kieran wouldn’t ever do that to her.
No matter how much he wished she hadn’t been drunk when she kissed him.
Eventually, Kieran made it to the couch and collapsed, but found he couldn’t get a wink of sleep without feeling her lips on his. Even with the tea, it still took another hour before he finally drifted to sleep.
***
Kieran had been awake for almost two hours when he heard Lauren moving around in the bedroom. He prayed that she didn’t remember what had transpired last night.
Figuring that Lauren was changing into the clothes that he had brought to the bedroom (the ones she had worn the night before), Kieran got up from the table and began making her breakfast.
A few moments later, the bedroom door slammed open and Kieran whipped his head towards Lauren, who was still wearing his shirt and looked like she had just woken up. She scowled at him and he mentally cursed.
Shit, of course, she remembered.
Lauren stomped over to him and he quickly turned the stove off before facing her, his hands lifted in surrender. He expected a slap or a shouting match and Kieran couldn’t really blame her.
“Lauren, I’m sorry–”
Lauren grabbed his collar and pushed him backward until his back was against the wall. Kieran opened his mouth to explain, but Lauren cut him off.
With her lips.
Pressed against his.
In a searing kiss.
He didn’t kiss her back, was terrified to kiss her back. She pulled away, still scowling at him.
“Kieran White, I am sober and hungover. And I want to kiss you,” Lauren stated, her hand still gripping his collar, her eyes locked on his. Kieran’s apology melted on his tongue, every thought flying from his head. He only managed a one-word reply.
“What?”
“I think I made myself pretty clear,” Lauren said firmly, gently pulling his collar down so their faces were mere inches apart. “I’m sober, Kieran White. Nothing muddling my mind. And I still want to kiss you.”
“Lauren–”
“Do you not believe me?” she asked, raising an eyebrow as her scowl melted away. Kieran managed a small smirk, no matter how forced it was because he still couldn’t get past the shock of her words.
“I don’t really have your lie detector, love,” Kieran teased, the urge to kiss her rising with every second they stayed in this position. Lauren smiled slyly.
“Do I need to prove it then?” she asked, her eyes darting to his lips before bringing them back up to his eyes. Kieran smirked genuinely this time.
“Perhaps.”
That was all the answer either of them needed before their lips met in the middle.
Kieran, still reeling from the previous sober kiss, could’ve sworn he was dreaming. Her lips were exactly how he had memorized them the night before, soft but pressed hard against his. Thank the gods that she didn’t taste like alcohol, but even if that had been the case, he might have drank his life away just to remember what she tasted like in that moment.
The thought didn't terrify him as much as it should have.
Lauren’s hand moved from his collar to his neck to his hair, her fingers deftly untying the ribbon Kieran had painstakingly tied that morning. But that didn’t matter. The second that she started running her fingers through his hair, he could’ve fallen to his knees.
His own hands moved towards her, one at her waist and the other on the back of her neck. He pulled her closer, her body flush against his. She returned the favor, pulling his lips closer to hers, deepening the kiss. Kieran swore that even heaven couldn’t be as wonderful as this.
Lauren pulled away and Kieran nearly groaned at the absence of her lips before she began kissing his jaw, tracing her lips across his jawline and down to his pulse. Kieran sighed, kissing her temple and forehead as she brought her lips back up his neck.
They were both breathless when she parted from his neck and he from her head. Kieran tilted her chin up so they locked eyes, taking in her slightly bruised lips and the flush of her cheeks and her tangled hair where his fingers were combing to straighten the strands again.
“Do you believe me now?” Lauren asked, her voice rough and quiet, a small smile on her face. A smile that he caused. He felt his own lips lifting before he brought them to hers, kissing her tenderly.
“ I don’t know , mon amour, ” he teased, speaking between kisses. “ I may need a bit more convincing. ”
Lauren laughed softly at his lies, one of the only times she found herself not minding someone lying to her. She looked up at him, his bright, azure eyes filled with something she had never seen before from him. There were many words for it.
Joy. Happiness. Bliss. All of which poured straight into his irises and painted his features.
“I can work with that,” Lauren said with a small smirk before obliging him with the convincing that he wanted.