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Kageyama was wary of Suga when he first joined the team. Not in a fearful way, but Kageyama felt the need to tiptoe around him, cringing from the sight of Suga on the sideline. Suga was frustrated about it, Kageyama knew. He could tell from Suga's sighs and frowns in between his helpful remarks.
"It's okay to ask me for help, you know," Suga told him. Suga approached him sometimes, eyes soft with concern. Kageyama thought the rest of him was soft-looking, too, especially when he brushed his hand through his hair or rubbed it against his neck.
Kageyama turned away and tried to ignore that. Suga's hand felt warm on his shoulder, though, and that was hard to ignore, or his hand falling on Kageyama's arm to catch his attention. Suga smiled at him often, leaning forward with a gentle head tilt if Kageyama took a step to walk away. Suga gave a similar treatment to others, Kageyama noticed. He tried to ignore that too, but it twisted his stomach and made his neck heat when Suga slid in and paid attention to him.
"Why aren't you wearing your jacket? It's cold," Suga told him one morning. Kageyama just got into the gym, and the team was starting stretches to warm up.
Kageyama shrugged and pressed his lips together to stay quiet. He ran out of the house and forgot it, and it didn't start bothering him until practice ended and he was standing outside in the cold air.
"I have an extra jacket if you want one," Suga said. He didn't wait for Kageyama's answer, and he handed him one anyway, unfolding the jacket he had hanging from his arm. "I had this in my locker."
Kageyama thought about saying no, since he wasn't cold enough to shiver. But he looked at the small quirk in Suga's mouth, and the nudge of his arm against Kageyama's to encourage him to accept it, and Kageyama gave in. His stomach tightened from Suga's gaze over him as he pulled it on, and he wriggled around inside to to slip his arms through the sleeves. He was met with Suga's pleased smile.
"It fits."
Suga was shorter than him, but it still fit him fine. Kageyama skimmed his hands over it in class as he thought about that, Suga being just a bit shorter than him and having the jacket hang down just a little, sleeves going past his hands instead of settling at his wrists. Kageyama wanted to tug it down more to cover more of himself with it, but he didn't, he curled his arms around his stomach or brushed his hands over his arms to feel the fabric to satisfy that urge. The jacket was slightly worn from use, and Kageyama thought about that too, Suga filling the sweater with his chest and stomach the same way Kageyama did right now. Or yanking on the sleeves to get it off in a hurry, wearing it to run, keeping it on around the house to lounge in and do homework or eat. Kageyama didn't notice what he wore, really, but he knew that he did stare.
Kageyama didn't return it right away. Suga didn't ask for it, so Kageyama felt justified in keeping it. He wore it home and continued wearing it, tugging at the sides occasionally when he was thinking about Suga, and what Suga did at home or if he slept in class.
Kageyama wore it to bed. He wasn't cold enough at night to need it, but it stayed on anyway, and Kageyama pinched the fabric and smoothed it down mindlessly, running his hand over the sleeves as he tried to sleep. Wearing it and sleeping in it reminded him of the small gestures and touches, Suga's hand patting his to switch out in matches, or the residual warmth in a meat bun Suga gave him when the team went out to eat. Suga rose on his toes a little to wave for his attention or to tap his shoulder, even though there wasn't much of a height difference between them.
Kageyama felt his stomach swoop and sink more and more when he saw Suga, Suga brushing a hand against his arm to make him pause for conversation, or Suga passing him a volleyball for practice. His eyes drifted over Suga's hands with guilty interest, or to Suga's thin lips as they moved and curved into words.
He didn't think it was a problem, but Suga noticed Kageyama frowning and ducking to himself.
"Are you sick, Kageyama?" Suga asked.
Kageyama was going to say no, he wasn't coughing and he didn't have a headache, but his head still felt warm and light. His arms and the back of his neck prickled with heat, and his stomach felt like it was going to drop to the floor.
He pursed his lips together instead, rocking back on his feet and letting the momentum dip his head down. He didn't think he could say yes or no.
Suga's mouth twitching in thought made Kageyama fidget. He tried to frown more, but his mouth pinched to the side.
"If you're sick, then you should stay home."
Suga lifted his arm, and Kageyama's shoulders tightened when Suga brushed his hand over Kageyama's forehead.
"You're a little warm, too."
Kageyama took a step away. "I'm not sick."
He walked away completely after a moment. He tried to forget that that just happened, but when Suga turned, he combed his own hand over his forehead and through his bangs to emulate the same feeling. It wasn't the same, though, it didn't make him twitch from not knowing what his hand was going to do or feel like. Suga's hand was light, and the lack of pressure left a stronger trail of warmth and awareness than Kageyama's.
Suga approached him again later. "You keep touching your forehead," he said, his neck bent in that concerned tilt that made Kageyama shift on his feet.
"No I'm not." Kageyama folded his arms to hide his hands.
Suga tapped a finger to his chin, and he leaned forward to press his hand against Kageyama's forehead again. It hovered over his skin to his hair, slowly and carefully, brushing some away and then pulling back. Suga's shoulders rose a little, and he let his head tip to the side as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"I was just checking," Suga said, his cheeks pink, mouth slipping open slightly and then closing. "Are you sure you're fine?"
Kageyama swallowed, his voice crumbling in his throat. He went with a nod instead.
Kageyama wasn't fine. His eyes followed Suga around often now, staring from the side at an angle Kageyama hoped wasn't obvious. He saw Suga's eyes shine when he was happy, mouth quirked and cheeks in a round pink swell of skin under his eyes, especially if it was in the middle of practice and Suga was warm from exercise. He dipped his head back a little if he was modestly smiling from someone's comment, with his hand underneath the back of his head and elbow in the air. His smiles and frowns were never sharp, they didn't have the same disciplined edge that Daichi did. He moved his mouth into unassuming slopes and curves, at slight angles and barely-open shapes to breathe and talk, nudging into grins with small tugs in the corners.
His sighs were the worst, puffs of air with his eyes flicked down, his chest and shoulders cycling through the almost imperceptible movements. Kageyama didn't know if it was the same thing as sighing, but Suga stooped over to breathe heavily was just as bad, harsher exhales and pants to catch his breath after he ran and jumped from volleyball. The sound of it made Kageyama stiffen, and even more when Suga tried to talk and his voice came out breathless.
Kageyama kept his mouth closed, lips gently pressed together, licking or biting them and irritating the skin in his silence. He tilted his head down to shield his intent, but Suga caught him looking several times. He could tell that Suga noticed, marked by the increasingly confused glances sent Kageyama's way.
"You've been awfully tense lately," Suga said. Everyone was still standing around after practice, so Suga took the time to rest a hand on Kageyama's shoulder. He frowned and tightened his grip in Kageyama's shirt. "Your shoulders... You really need to relax."
Suga rolled his hand in a kneading motion, sinking it in at the end and pushing down on the shoulder. Suga laughed from the rigid twitching rebellion there. "Really, this feels... Well... You feel really tense."
Suga's hand slipped down the side, and Kageyama felt a tremor of regret wrack his spine as the hand landed on the muscle of his upper arm. It was sore there, corded from constant use in practice and constant tension in general, bristling in the pleasant discomfort of Suga's presence. Except now Kageyama was giving a stuttering sigh in relief, his arm untensing and unconsciously moving into Suga's hand.
The furrow in Suga's eyebrows made Kageyama retract his arm, with a slow dazed light in his eyes as he grumbled an apology.
"No, come back," Suga said, motioning him with his hand. "Your arm felt knotted, too."
A spike of heavy heat flared through his chest, weighing down his ability to respond and think past the sensation of Suga's fingers resettling on his arm.
Suga's eyes shot to the floor, his mouth in a gentle twitch until it opened. "I can massage you, if you want," he said softly.
Kageyama's stomach curled at the same time that Suga's hand curled around in a thorough grip, fingers printing their tips into his muscle. It wasn't rough, just deep, strong enough to squeeze. His finger strayed to admire the skin, but Kageyama was too distracted to appreciate it. He was leaning against the wall and sighing, filled with the same semblance of breath he had when he was watching Suga huff in exertion and wipe sweat off his face. He felt weak, even though he was taller and he had no reason to feel weak, and he squirmed against the wall a little.
"You should try this yourself sometime. It's part of taking care of yourself," Suga said. His voice was light and quiet, head tilted down to look at Kageyama's arm instead of his face.
His legs felt like they were going to wobble and unlock, and he had to rest his weight against the wall. Suga didn't seem to notice, only focused on the quiver in his muscle. When he was done, he brushed a hand over Kageyama's hair to smooth it away.
"I think that's it for now," Suga said. "Feeling better?"
Kageyama would've said something, but he was mindful of Suga's hand still on his head, paused and just sitting there. Kageyama's shoulders bunched up, and he glanced to the side.
Suga walked away after he was satisfied with Kageyama's nod. Kageyama was burning now, and he pressed his hand against the flush of his face to feel it spread. He wanted to sink into the floor.
That didn't stop him from asking for another massage the next day. He cradled his arm and faked a grimace, mumbling to Suga and drawing his foot in a tiny circle on the floor.
Suga tilted his head. "Something wrong?"
Kageyama let out a huff instead of specifically saying yes. He tightened his mouth and lifted his arm. It hurt a bit, but that was soreness from practice. He knew this shouldn't call for anything, really, so asking made him heat in embarrassment.
The shift of Suga's mouth to the side told Kageyama that Suga wasn't convinced. "Your arm again?" he asked, voice matching the incredulous poise of his hips.
Kageyama's scrunched nose and mouth left Suga sighing. He rested his hand on Kageyama's elbow, loosely splayed instead of moving up.
"Kageyama, I know you've been acting strange lately…" Suga trailed off.
"How?"
Suga alternated his weight to his other foot. "You've been quieter." Suga slipped his hand to the back of his neck and rubbed sheepishly. "It's…"
Kageyama's eyes remained on Suga, waiting silently and noting the repeated clearing of his throat and fidget in his feet.
"It's not for any particular reason, is it?"
"No?" Kageyama asked back.
Suga dropped his hand from his neck, but his other one still stayed on Kageyama's arm. "I don't… You're not…" Suga sighed again, with a note of finality in it, and his arms fell. "To be honest, I've been distracted," Suga said quietly.
"Why?"
Suga raised his hand to inspect it, his eyes settling on his fingers. "I think it's because of you."
Kageyama stiffened. "Me? What did I do?"
"Nothing, nothing. You didn't do anything," he said quickly. He lifted his head then, and his hand too, eyes flickering up as he moved to tuck a lock of Kageyama's hair behind his ear. "You probably don't want to know."
"No, I do," Kageyama said, eyes brighter in interest.
Suga's lip was caught between his teeth for a moment, biting it and staring Kageyama over. His voice fell to whisper, "I like you, you know."
Kageyama froze, but slowly, a delayed reaction of his arms stilling and eyes opening wider. He wanted to ask for clarification, maybe Suga was just being friendly, but the weight in his tone was stupefying.
Kageyama noticed Suga's shoes creak on the floor, rising to the toes, but he didn't actually think about Suga straightening to a taller height until he felt Suga's mouth pressing on his forehead. It was a gentle and uneventful kiss, lips barely moving during the brief contact. Suga pulled away and slid his hand over his mouth, eyes a mirror of Kageyama's, and he spun on his heels to avoid Kageyama's look.
"See you tomorrow," Suga said in a small stammer. He hurried around the corner to avoid his gaze completely, and when he made it, he stepped until his back hit the wall. That was too direct, too sudden and abrupt, and Suga knew it. He hid his mouth in the crook of his elbow to redirect his memory from Kageyama's skin to his own, something simple and innocent to forget.