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English
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Part 2 of Headcanons bc my notes app can only take so much nonsense
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Published:
2022-04-10
Updated:
2022-04-22
Words:
1,506
Chapters:
5/?
Comments:
18
Kudos:
34
Bookmarks:
2
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718

Mario Kart 8 Headcanons

Summary:

I just finished one of Alex’s 3 hour long streams ("bing chillin w/ da vol2 gang from 1/17/22") and now I’m like super deep in MC brainrot.
Anyways, here are my headcanons for MC characters playing Mario Kart. I may include other fandoms in the near future :eyes:

Chapter 1: Mandela Catalogue

Notes:

Heads up, this is going up the theory that Adam is the baby in the cradle and he's looking for his mom.
Also, this is written as if The Big Four (Mark, Cesar, Adam, Jonah) played all together

Chapter Text

  • Just to be a dick, Six would interrupt an intense game by appearing on screen or messing with someone’s character (everyone except for Cesar's)
    • When he messes with a character, he causes that player to lose. But when the player tries to explain, no one believes them, even if they were telling the truth.
    • One of the losing players would blame their loss on him just to avoid taking the L
      • I can hear Adam going “Suuuuuuuureeee” if Jonah or Mark tried to pin their loss on a guilty (or innocent) Six
  • Adam and Jonah are like 11 Year Olds On The Xbox (tm)
    • They keep making dick/sex/ur mom jokes through out
    • If someone makes a sex joke with Adam’s mom he'll say “...Bro, thats necrophilia” (but then again, thats saying that he accepts shes dead)
  • They all play on Adam’s or Jonah’s Switch on Cesar's TV
  • Adam and Jonah get really competitive with others
    • Yeah, like friendship does not matter in this
  • Cesar
    • Favorite Course: Twisted Mansion or Tick-Tock Clock
    • Character: Mario, Luigi, Shy Guy(?)
    • Typically uses the Landship kart or the W 25 Silver Arrow
    •  
    • Makes it to the top 3
    • Collects all the coins
  • Mark
    • Favorite Course: Any
    • Character: Luigi, Mario
    • Frequently uses the super mini turbo
  • Adam
    • Favorite Course: Twisted Mansion
    • Character: Bowser, Bowser Jr, Wario, King Boo
    • Knows all of the driving techs
  • Jonah
    • Sucker for Shell Cup or Star Cup
    • Favorite course: Dolphin Shoals and Cheep Cheep Beach
    • Character: Bowser, Bowser Jr, Wario, Donkey Kong
    • Always does the Jump Boost

Chapter 2: The Walten Files pt 1

Notes:

i think 15 minuets of google calendars would give felix kranken brain damage 💞

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

  • Jack
    • Not the biggest fan of the game but will play with his kids
      • Typically lets them win
      • Otherwise, ends up in one of the top 3 spots
    • Favorite course: Twisted Mansion
    • Character: Mario
  • Rosemary
    • Favorite Course: Moo Moo Meadows
    • Character: Daisy, Peach, Wendy
    • Loves the Flower Glider and the Cloud Glider
  • Sophie
    • Favorite Course: Twisted Mansion
    • Character: Someone from the second row (Yoshi, Toad, Koopa Troopa, etc)
    • Uses the Wario Wing(?)
  • Ed
    • Favorite course: Rainbow Road (Special Cup) and Shroom Ridge
    • Character: Mario or Luigi
  • Molly
    • Favorite course: Rainbow Road (Special Cup)
    • Character: Peach
  • Jenny
    • Favorite course: Moo Moo Meadows
    • Character: Yoshi or Daisy
  • Felix
    • Like Jack, he’s not the biggest fan of the game but he’ll play with the kids
      • Typically lets them win
    • Favorite course: Excitebike Arena
    • Character: Larry, Lemmy or Ludwig
    • Ends up around last place
  • Brian
    • Favorite course:Coconut Mall
    • Character: Our lord and savior, Waluigi
      • Or Link (please tell me you know what tweet im referencing)
    • Uses the Hylian Kite
  • Hilary
    • Favorite course: Mushroom cup
    • Character: Toad
    • Gets vv competitive
  • Ashley
    • Favorite course: Royal raceway
    • Character: Peach
  • Kevin
    • Favorite course: Coconut Mall
    • Character: Tanooki Mario (ironically) or Wario
    • Uses the Wario Wing or the Waddle Wing
    • Choses parts of kart based on stats and shit
    • Shows no mercy
  • Susan
    • Favorite course: Tick Tock Clock(?)
    • Character: Anyone from the top row (Mario, Luigi, Peach, etc)
    • Doesn’t like playing but still ends up in the top 3
    • Choses parts of kart based on their stats and shit
    • Mercy depends on your age
      • Like she’ll let Ed and Molly win but not Kevin
  • Anthony
    • Favorite course: Twisted Masion
    • Character: King Boo or Luigi 
    • Plays solo
  • Sopie, Jenny, and Brian play Mario Kart with Hilary, Kevin, and Ashley 
  • Sophie, Susan, and Kevin often curse at the game
  • Sophie, Ed, Molly, and Rose all play together; Jack watches

Notes:

the tweet that im referring to is the one where someone asks Martin Walls who would be the most likely to wear a Legend of Zelda shirt and he said Brian

Chapter 3: The Walten Files pt 2 the electric boogaloo

Chapter Text

  • Bon
    • Won’t play unless Sha asks him to
    • Picks a random course, character, and kart just to get it over with
      • Doesn’t know that the karts each have a different weight and shit that affect gameplay. He’d just be sitting there the whole time wondering why he’s doing so bad. Eventually ends up rage quitting
      • Blames losses on the game, saying “This game is stupid!”
        • He’s not going to take the L so easily
  • Sha
    • Favorite Course: Moo Moo Meadows
    • Character: Daisy
    • Like Bon, she doesn’t know that the karts have different weights and shit. Instead of rage quitting, she’ll just keep playing
    • Probably ends up around last place
  • Banny
    • Favorite course: Sweet Sweet Canyon and Ribbon Road(?)
    • Character: Cat Peach
    • Picks kart solely off of aesthetic
      • Typically uses the Cat cruiser
    • Gets very worked up over the game. Bon constantly yells at her for it
    • Plays with Billy or Boozoo all the time, sometimes even Sha
    • Button mashing
    • If she gets a turtle shell, she’ll throw it randomly. She doesn’t even realize she's suppose to be throwing it *at* someone
  • Boozoo
    • Favorite course: Mario Kart Stadium
    • Character: Mario
    • Typically uses the Sneaker
    • Not a sore loser; probably would be the first one out of the bunch to learn about the stats since he keeps trying (unlike Bon who eventually gives up) and isn’t a complete dumbass (unlike Sha and Banny who are)
    • Accidentally learns about some of the driving techs and teaches them to others
      • Bon would yell at him for it/act like he knew about them the entire time and just chose not to use them
  • Billy
    • Favorite course: Sweet Sweet Canyon and Ribbon Road
    • Character: Lemmy
    • Button mashing
    • Has used Mr.Scooty and the Streetle at least once
  • Banny often plays with Billy and vice versa
    • If Billy isn’t there, Sha or Boozoo will play with her and vice versa
  • Boozoo (and lowkey Sha) cares more about the bonding experience rather than the actual game itself
  • Banny and Billy have rarely made it to the top 3 but still enjoy playing

 

  • Pumpkin Rabbit
    • Favorite Course: Twisted Mansion
    • Character: Dry Bowser
    • Plays because his wife asks him to
  • Witch Sheep
    • Favorite course: Take a wild guess (Twisted Mansion) 
      • Or Moo Moo Meadows
    • Character: Dry Bones
    • Guests at the house introduced the game to her and her husband. She played it just for the experience and then invited PR to play too

Chapter 4: Smiling Friends

Notes:

If you like this show, I'm automatically assuming you're cool/hj

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

  • Alan
    • Favorite track: Mario Circuit (Shell Cup), Tick-Tock Clock, Cheese Land
    • Character: Mario or Luigi
    • First one to learn about the karts’ different stats. Been using them ever since
      • Might like to decide on a cup and then choose the kart?
    • Completely against the smart driving option (he feels like it's cheating)
    • Closely calculates before he throws turtle shells and such
    • When he plays alone on his own console, he stops at nothing to get a gold trophy for each of the Cups
  • Glep
    • Favorite track: Mario Circuit (Flower Cup), Ribbon Road (?)
    • Character: Mario/Luigi, someone from the second (Yoshi, Toad, etc) or fifth (Lemmy, Larry, etc) row
    • Choses karts based off of looks
      • Likes the Biddybuggy or the Streetle
    • Uses the smart driving much to Alan's disapproval 
      • Alan: “Glep, that’s cheating, there's no skill in cheating”
    • When he gets the fire flower, he throws them randomly without any sort of calculations
      • Drives Alan crazy
    • Most likely to rage quit during the game
  • Pim 
    • Favorite track: Likes all of them (but I think his favorite is Sunshine Airport)
    • Character: Luigi
    • Rarely comes in top 3
    • Probably cares more about the bonding experience with friends than winning 
  • Charlie
    • Favorite track: Mario Kart Stadium, Excitebike Arena
      • I can also see him not having a favorite 
    • Character: Mario, Luigi, Wario
    • Typically uses the Sneaker(?)
  • Pim often asks Charlie to play, completely forgetting that Charlie's uncle gets into a lot of car accidents
  • Alan often plays with Glep
  • Pim would accidentally discover driving techs while playing and would try to show them to others
  • Alan studies the driving techs

Notes:

Two games of Rainbow road would give the boss a heart attack <3

Chapter 5: Saiki K

Chapter Text

  • Saiki
    • Favorite course: none
    • Character: Someone basic who doesn’t draw a lot of attention (like Mario or Luigi)
    • Doesn’t understand how everyone gets so worked up over this game
    • Uses stats to help him get a low place (aims for 6th-8th place)
    • Only uses the charms to appear normal
    • Had to play with Yuuta at least once
      • Won the majority of rounds so he didn't get suspicious 
  • Teruhashi
    • Favorite course: Moo Moo Meadows, Royal Raceway, Tokyo Blur
      • But probably keeps her favorite course a secret; she just says “Oh, I love them all, I don’t know which one to choose [as my favorite]!” 
      • When playing with others, she choses the course 98% of the time
    • Character: Peach, Rosaline
      • No one ever takes her character
    • Choses kart based mostly on aesthetic
      • Probably uses the Prancer
    • Everyone lets her win, she always gets in the top 3
  • Kaidō
    • Favorite course: Ninja Hideaway, Twisted Mansion, 
    • Character: King Boo
    • Always pins his loss on the Black Jet Wings (or whatever they’re called, I don’t remember)
  • Mikoto
    • Favorite course: Cheep Cheep Beach
    • Character: Wendy, or any other one of the turtles (Lakitu, Koopa Troopa, etc)
    • Loves the game
  • Toritsuka
    • Favorite course: Twisted Mansion, Thwomp Ruins
    • Character: King Boo
  • Nendō
    • Favorite course: Coconut Mall, Cheese Land
    • Character: Bowser Jr, Tanooki Mario
    • Throws charms randomly
    • Gets around middle to last place
  • Kuboyasu
    • Favorite course: Grumble Volcano, Bowser's Castle, Toad’s Turnpike (reminds him of his gang days), Neo Bowser City
    • Character: Dry Bowser or Dry Bones
    • Either always uses a motorcycle or never does because he feels like everyone will get suspicious of him
    • Gets around last place