Work Text:
Tony had been in between sleeps, waking and then falling back under. He wished they'd get him off the drugs. He didn't want to see the faces of people he lost in dreams he couldn't wake from.
He woke again, this time from a dream of Strange telling him that saving his life and giving up the time stone was the only way to win.
There was no other way.
No other way.
He shook his head, dispelling the dream from his thoughts.
"Hey."
Tony looked to the source but knew who it was from the voice alone. Pepper.
Tony remembered now. The team had gone to confront Thanos and he was left here.
“How long…?”
“Not long. Maybe an hour. They haven’t returned yet.”
She was sitting on a chair beside his bed. She reached out to grasp his hand.
"You didn't try to die on me," she said in relief.
At first Tony had no idea what she was talking about until he saw the Iron Man helmet on her lap. She heard his voice messages then. All twenty-two of them.
He should've erased them. But between collapsing and getting pumped full of drugs, he didn't have the time.
He studied her. She looked beautiful—Pepper always was even with dark circles under her eyes. He also noted the soft look she was sending him, and Tony knew he was going to be babied for a while. He would rather she was mad at him. He didn't need her treating him like glass.
He decided to make things light; it should be enough to draw out her annoyance and replace the softie. That and he didn’t want to think about the Avengers and what they were currently doing.
"Of course, I didn't." He tugged her hand and motioned with his head for her to get in bed with him.
He could already tell she was going to refuse and so he beat her to it. "I'm fine. I feel fine. But I want you here next to me. Please," he added for good measure. He wasn't raised by wolves.
Pepper relented. She put the helmet aside and joined him on the bed. It was a good thing Tony was thinner now because they both fit comfortably.
He faced her and said, "I wasn't going to die on you. Not when I spent a lot of money on the reception and that ring." He caught her left hand, the engagement ring still there. "And especially not after I carefully crafted a ten-year plan to get you to fall in love with me and then another decade for you to say yes to marriage."
As expected, Pepper rolled her eyes and pulled her hand back. "I was not the one that needed convincing to get married."
"I was ready way before you. I had that ring in Happy's pocket remember?"
She spoke again, didn't even wait for him to finish. "And it did not take us twenty years in total to get to where we are now."
"It felt like twenty years. Do you see the gray hairs on me?"
Her eyes widened. "Your gray hairs?"
He pointed at his salt and pepper hair. "This is all on you."
"What about my hair! They're lighter than they were."
Tony spoke over her. "They didn't have a hair stylist up there and Nebula, well, she doesn't really have hair—"
Pepper lightly slapped him on the arm
"Ow! You're supposed to be gentle!" He said, hiding a pleased smile behind an amused one. He then craned his neck and looked out the glass walls of his room. "Nurse! Nurse! I'm under attack!"
"Oh, please. You've dealt with worse." But she placed a gentle hand over his chest. His gown was loose (did they have to stick him in this awful thing) and she pulled the neckline down and ran a finger over the scar on his chest.
"You're very mean today," Tony noted. It was all part of his plan to distract them both.
She withdrew her hand. "Of course, I'm mean. You collapsed a few hours ago!”
"But I’m awake now."
"You lost all that weight! Your ass is gone!"
"Wow, I didn't know my ass was all you cared about. Give me a week and fastfood, I'll bring the juicy ass back."
"You are not eating fast food until you're discharged,” Pepper said sternly.
Tony sputtered. "Oh—what—come on! Who made you my head physician?"
"You didn't eat anything up there—"
"I ate zargnuts!"
"—anything of substance. You're still underweight and severely dehydrated."
He feigned an offended look. "So, I'm not a tall drink of water anymore?"
Pepper snorted. "You were never tall, honey. You're two shot glasses stacked on top of one another."
Tony's jaw dropped. "Ohhh you're evil. You and Nebula would get along."
"We do. And we have."
"When?"
"When she visited." Tony could see her expression change to a serious one. The banter was over. "She sat down with me and told me what you did up there... what happened."
"She didn't hold back on the gory details," Tony assumed, his dream once more flashing in his mind.
Pepper nodded.
"So, you know everything." He didn't know if that was good or not. At least he wouldn't have to tell her what happened and relive that nightmare. But a part of him wanted to tell her himself because these dreams weren't going to stop and she deserved to know what she was getting into marrying him.
"I only know what she told me. That and what you recorded in your messages." Which shouldn't be a lot because Tony deliberately sugarcoated those for her benefit. "I won't force you to tell me. But you have to see someone."
They were all going to have to see a shrink. Occupational hazard.
Tony nodded. "Not yet."
"That's fine."
He cleared his throat and shook his head, dispelling the crumbling images of people he fought with.
He faced Pepper. "I want to talk about you. How are you? How's your ass?"
"I was a little stressed when my fiancé disobeyed the doctor’s orders and quarreled with his team. I’m also dealing with half my employees missing. There are funerals and new bereavement packages to prepare.”
"Where were you when it happened?" He could talk about her story, just not his at the moment.
"In the office. Everything was in shambles. Happy was surprisingly calm about it."
Tony smiled proudly. "That's my Happy." After all these years, of course he'd be calm.
"All transportation was grounded, roads blocked to keep people from panicking and getting into accidents. I didn't get here until a week later. Jim made sure of that."
"Good man Rhodey."
"You should've seen him, Tony. It was like Afghanistan all over again. He worked tirelessly trying to find you." Soft Pepper was gone and now it was Worried Pepper and Tony hated that even more. Her eyes began to water. "And even then we weren't sure if you were truly gone or—"
"I'm here." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere. I mean even if I died, I'd probably haunt you."
Pepper laughed. "You're not allowed to die."
Stephen Strange's words echoed in Tony’s head again.
There was a reason Strange had saved him.
If only Tony knew what.
Pepper gripped his hand, bringing him back to the moment with her. "I don't want a reception."
Tony blinked. Surprised at the 180 shift in topic but went along with it. "Me neither." A reception would be incredibly inappropriate, especially when half of their guests was gone.
"I just want you. And our friends."
"As soon as possible."
"As soon as things settle down again."
Tony could work with that. But if he could just add one more thing...
"I don't want a wedding cake."
Pepper raised her brow.
"I want a double cheeseburger."
Pepper sighed.
"It's symbolic! Two patties in one burger."
"You're likening us to two greasy burger patties--"
"With cheese, don't forget the cheese."
Pepper laughed. "Fine. A double cheeseburger after we exchange vows."
Tony pumped his fist. "Yes!"
But Pepper wouldn't be Pepper if she didn't get something out of the wedding burger. "But you have to cooperate with the doctors here, Tony. You're skin and bones."
"It's this shit they got me on. IV drips," he complained with a shudder. "Give me the good stuff!"
Pepper shook her head at him and then cupped his face and kissed his jaw.
Tony hummed, his eyes fluttering shut. "Nevermind. I got the good stuff right here."
She laughed and proceeded to place light kisses up his jaw all the way to his earlobe.
Tony let out a series of satisfied groans. "I don't know what experimental treatment they got running in this facility, but I approve."
She placed one last kiss on his forehead before she climbed out of bed.
"I'm gonna be right back."
Tony didn’t know what made him do it. Maybe it was Strange’s voice in his head or him finally being sentimental after all these years. But he took Pepper’s hand and said, “I’m sorry."
“You’ve got nothing to apologize for. Unless you’re talking about the silver in my hair. If so, you’re forgiven.”
Tony shook his head, wanting—needing her to understand. He didn’t mean for all of this to happen. But he knew it wasn’t completely his fault.
I lost the kid.
Tony, we all lost.
There was no other way.
“I’m sorry you’re stuck with me."
"I don't see myself as stuck with you."
"You know what I mean. I've got a ton of baggage to work through. You don't deserve that."
Pepper frowned and then sat back down on the space beside him.
"Tony, the world lost half its population. Everybody's got baggage. Yours is just heavier and you shouldn't be sorry for that." She touched his arm. "But I'll help you carry it the best I can. I won't go away."
Tony couldn't believe it took him a decade to really see this woman for who she truly is. He may be Iron Man but Pepper was the only one who saved him time and time again.
"You sure you don't want to get out of our engagement, Potts? You're gonna be stuck with this hot mess until death parts us."
Pepper scrunched her nose and cocked her head. "I already knew that twenty years ago and said yes to you anyway."
"Ah, so you admit it felt like twenty years."
"You know what, no. It feels like I've known you my whole life. And I won't live the rest of it without you." She leaned down to kiss him and then pulled back, grimacing. "Also, I really need to pee."
"Sorry. Go ahead.”
He watched her enter the bathroom and Tony was determined to watch over her, to save her just like she saved him.
Even death wouldn't stop him from doing that.