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Yuri looked down in shame. tears stung her eyes and threatened to fall, just to embarrass her even more. She squeezed her eyes shut and gritted her teeth.
"Y-Yuri..." Monika reached out to Yuri's arm, cautiously examining the horrifyingly fresh cuts on the girl's arm. Her heart fell. She looked back up at Yuri. Her chest was heaving up and down. She could hear the air rushing in and out of Yuri's bared, clenched teeth. She was shivering. Monika almost burst into sobs right then and there. It pained her so much to see her beloved girlfriend hurting herself. She was so confused, so scared, so worried for her. She was wordless, so caught off guard and worried, all words just left her in this situation.
She closed her eyes for a moment. She knew that Yuri needed someone to be there for her. She needed someone to be strong to lean on. Monika carefully placed her hand on the Yuri's, making her hesitantly look up. She softly looked into Yuri's deep purple eyes. "Tell me... Why you're doing this..." She asked calmly. Yuri blinked her tears away as her eyes faltered from Monika's. Slowly, she calmed her breathing as Monika waited patiently.
"I..." Yuri started, voice quivering. "I just... I have so many things I hate about myself..." Yuri used her other hand to wipe away the tears from her face. "And... When I cut myself I just...-" Yuri suddenly stopped and dug her nails into her leg as she let out an annoyed sigh, "this is so stupid, I'm so sorry I'm-"
"Yuri, Yuri, hey..." Monika gently stopped Yuri's rambling. "This isn't stupid, you have nothing to apologize for. I want to know why you're doing this, because I want to help you." Monika reached out and placed her hand on Yuri's face, tilting her face up to look sympathetically in her eyes. Yuri looked into Monika's emerald eyes for a moment. She sighed softly. "Here, do you want to rest your head on my shoulder?" Monika asked, moving her arm to motion for her to come close. Yuri nodded feeling the tears sting her eyes again and she slowly leaned forward into her shoulder as Monika kept her hand on hers, her other arm around Yuri's shivering body, hand gently rubbing Yuri's back.
Yuri furrowed her brows, unable to shake the guilt off from this whole situation. It felt so selfish to make her stupid decisions someone else's business, especially Monika's. "I hate to burden you with this..." Yuri mumbled into Monika's shoulder. Monika shook her head. "You're not burdening me with anything...", she moved her hand up from Yuri's back to her head, petting her silky long hair. Yuri breathed in deep, taking in the scent of Monika's soft floral perfume. It reminded her of the smell of her calming incenses in her house, making her eyes gently flutter closed. "So, you left off with why you've been cutting yourself," Monika spoke softly, "Can you continue?".
"Right, umm", Yuri sniffled, trying to get her mind back on track. "Whenever... Whenever something bad happens o-or I just feel upset, for some reason, cutting makes me feel better...". Yuri briefly paused, frowning deeply as her vision completely blurred from tears. " God, you must think I'm so weird... I-I don't know how this habit started! But whenever I think I should stop hurting myself so often, I just, I get the urge to again, and I..." Yuri moves her hand from under Monika's to grip tightly onto her blazer. "I-I don't want to live like this anymore... Please help me..." Yuri pleaded into her lover's shoulder, sobbing hard.
Monika had to hold back tears of her own as she heard Yuri helplessly begging to her like that. She gently pulled Yuri into a close embrace, letting the girl cry into her shoulder. "Shhh... It's okay sweetheart..." Monika could feel Yuri's pounding heart against her. "Do you... want to kill yourself?" Monika asked, really really hoping the answer would be no. I mean she knew that people who did this to themselves usually had suicidal tendercies, and Yuri did just mention that she didn't like herself...
"N-No! Not at all, I just..." Yuri looked up at Monika quickly. She paused for a moment to sigh, "I don't know...". Monika mentally exhaled in relief. She moved her hands down to hold Yuri's shoulders. Yuri rested her head on Monika's shoulder again. "Well... We can work to fix this, okay?" Monika started. "We'll take it one day at a time to stop this habit..." Yuri sniffled. "That sounds good...". "How about, lets start with making alternative options for relieving stress?".
Yuri nodded, not moving her head to look up at her. Monika took that as a sign to start brainstorming with her. " Okay, so, you self harm when you feel self hatred or stress, right?" Yuri nodded again, hoping the uncomfort in her stomach will subside and let Monika help her. "Maybe... Instead of cutting, you can start, uh..." Monika thought for a moment. "...I've heard before that putting ice on where you want to self harm is a helpful way to stop the urge,". "Ah, I've heard of that before..." Yuri said softly, "I never tried it, but, maybe I can..."
Yuri nuzzled into Monika's neck. "There was... A point in time when I actually was trying to think of ways to stop this habit, but... I gave up very quickly.". Monika sighed. "It's so easy to give up when you've got no one to help you through you're problems, isn't it...?" Monika leaned back onto the wall of the bathroom stall. Tears welled up in Yuri's eyes again and she nodded into Monika's shoulder. Yuri never really bothered to try to stop cutting because, well, she never really had any reason too. From her perspective, this was just another method of stress relief, and she knew it was wrong and harmful, but, she didn't know what else to do. Its not like Yuri had a bunch of close friends in her life, hell, she didn't even have one. She never had anyone to confide in, so, she never really realized what she had been doing to herself.
"Well," Monika started, "From now on, you're not going to have to go through this alone." She gently pulled Yuri up to look her in her eyes. "I'll help you stop this, however you want, I'll always be here for you." She grazed her fingers against Yuri's scarred arm. Gently, she pulled up Yuri's wrists up to her mouth and gently kissed her scars. Yuri felt her stomach fill with butterflies. "M-Monika..." Yuri melted at the feeling of Monika's soft lips pressing against her skin over and over. She was feeling so calm, so relaxed, she wished Monika could do this forever. Yuri'd never experienced something so tender and feeling so loved before, it almost made her want to start crying again.
"T-thank you, Monika... Really...". Monika opened her eyes to look into Yuri's and smiled, placing a final kiss on Yuri's wrists before gently placing Yuris' hands back down and resting her own on top of them. "I've never had someone someone care about me so much before..." Yuri said, looking away from Monika. She paused to think about how sad that sentence was. She looked back at her girlfriend. Monika seemed slightly taken back by that statement. It was true, she's never had this before " it's nice..." Yuri said quietly, mostly to herself, as if this was a discovery she was noting to herself.
Monika snickered. "You're so cute, my love...". Yuri laughed in response, her face flushing. She looked down into her lap, murmuring a 'thank you' (making Monika want to repeat her sentence again but like ×1000). Slowly, Monika reached out to Yuri's face and tilted it up with her index and middle finger. She looked lovingly into her girlfriend's gorgeous deep purple eyes. " Can I kiss you?" Monika whispered. Yuri couldn't have nodded anymore frantically. Monika smirked at her enthusiasm. She slowly leaned forward and their lips met.
Wordlessly, Monika was giving Yuri her heart in this kiss. She wanted this kiss to tell Yuri that Monika was willing to anything for her. Monika moved closer, leaning more into Yuri, placing both hands on Yuri's face. She heard Yuri humm dreamily in the kiss, making her smile and kiss her deeper. Hesitantly, Yuri placed her hands on Monika's hips, making Monika briefly pull away to laugh before quickly leaning back in to plant a tiny peck on Yuri's lips. Monika had a dopey absolutely lovestruck look on her face that made Yuri's breath completely leave her lungs. "Jeez, I just wanna kiss you forever..." Monika turned Yuri's face with her hand and covered her face with kisses.
Yuri felt her heart pounding, she could barely take all of this affection. "Hahaha! Monika, please!..." She huffed, so overjoyed from all this love and affection she was receiving from the person she wanted it from most. Monika chuckled and wrapped both her arms around Yuri's waist and pulled her on Monika's lap. Yuri yelped from the sudden action and giddily laughed, wrapping her arms around Monika's neck almost instinctually. She didn't forget about what had led up to all of this, and she still was feeling weird about letting Monika find out, but she knew Monika, and she probably was actually planning on helping Yuri. She trusteed Monika so much. Plus all she knew was that she was getting so spoiled with all of this affection and was going to think about today for weeks.
They looked into each others eyes for a moment, both absolutely head over heels for the other. Monika closed her eyes and sighed. "I love you so much, Yuri...". Yuri could have exploded right then and there. "I LOve you TOo!..." Yuri practically yelled, her attempt at trying to stop her from screaming at the top of her lungs how much she loved Monika back undeniably fruitless. For once, though, Yuri didn't feel embarrassed about her showing so much emotion and making a fool of herself. Instead, she laughed. Startled by the very enthusiastic response, Monika just stared at Yuri for a moment, before joining in on the laughter.
After a moment of laughing, Yuri moved her arms from around Monika's neck to placing both of her hands on her shoulders. She examined Monika's face for a moment. She wanted to take in every single detail... her deep emerald eyes... her beautiful complexion accompanied by dusted blush over her face... her stark jawline, her-
"Eheh, uh, Yuri...?" Yuri blinked. Suddenly, she realized how long she was just staring at Monika for. "Ah! S-sorry! I just got, umm... Distracted..." Yuri averted her gaze from Monika's face, as if to counterbalance her staring.
Monika's heart was near about to explode from how cute her girlfriend was being. She giggled, and brushed her hair back with one of her hands from holding Yuri's waist. "Hehe, can I kiss you again? Please?" Monika asked, all-cutesy. "You know the answer is yes." Yuri said, very matter of fact, making Monika chuckle. "Right, right, of course..." Without hesitation, Monika gave Yuri a sweet kiss, before abruptly pulling away. "Ah- I just realized," Monika started, laughing, "We've been sitting on this gross bathroom floor this entire time...".
"Oh, oh eww right..." Yuri made a grossed-out expression, quickly standing up and brushing her skirt off. She sighed, "I have no idea how I did that without realizing...". " Hahaha, yeaaahhhh, I don't know how I did that either" Monika said, using the stall wall behind her to try to crawl back up onto her feet (Since Yuri had been standing practically directly over her). Yuri looked at her confused as to why she was doing that for a moment, before understanding why and quickly helping her up and muttering an apology.
"Ahh, well, now what?" Monika said, stretching. Yuri shrugged, looking around awkwardly. Yuri looked down at her exposed arms. She stared at them, every single individual scar, feeling an emotion she didn't know how to describe. After a moment, she unrolled her sleeves and covered her arms once more. She adjusted her collar, which had been fairly messed with. Monika really is something, huh. She looked back up at the aforementioned girl, seeing she had the same idea as her. Their eyes met, and Monika smirked at her.
"Y'know, if anyone walked in right now, it would be really hard to explain, right?" She teased. Yuri gasped, face heating up. "M-Monika!" She whispered yelled, stunned she would even allude to them doing something like that! Especially in a school bathroom of all places! Monika snickered mischievously. "It doesn't help that you can't keep your hands to yourself," Yuri retorted, motioning to her still messed-up collar she was still trying to fix. "Hahaha, I can always do worse, sweetheart," Monika winked, killing off Yuri's ability to respond back properly. She pouted. "Fair enough I guess..." She murmured.
"Anyways, wanna come over after school today?" Monika asked, leaning against the stall wall again. Yuri tilted her head at Monika, confused. "Isn't it almost time for dismissal?". Monika nodded, smirking again. Yuri thought for a moment, before realizing Monika was basically just asking to walk home with her and hang out. "Oh, right, yes, of course." Yuri responded, smiling softly. Speaking of the devil, the dismissal bell rang. "Well, that's our cue!", Monika held out her hand to Yuri as she turned to open the bathroom door from behind them. Without hesitation, Yuri grabbed her hand and the two walked out of the bathroom, ready to have a sleepover for the books.
The end <3