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"Captain, Sir has requested your assisstance in the lab."
Steve sent his last few jabs into the punching bag and then steadied it with his hands. He wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hands and unwrapped them. "Can it wait until I take a shower, JARVIS?"
A moment of silence, then, "I'm afraid Sir's blood pressure is raising at alarming rates. It would be best if you went as soon as possible."
His blood pressure? What the hell is going on down there? Steve rushed to the elevator, suddenly very worried. He was grateful when JARVIS made the ride quick. He punched in his access codes and barged into the room, ready to fight. Except... Tony wasn't around? The lights were on and his bots were moving around.
"Tony?" Steve slowly moved about. "Where are you?"
"Oh my God!" Tony yelled. "Steve!"
Steve frantically followed Tony's voice. Tony was standing on top of some boxes looking down at the floor in fear. "What is it? Who's here?"
"There was a spider and it was huge and it disappeared!" Tony turned in a circle on top of his tower of boxes, looking all over the floor. He was practically panting now. "It's here somewhere. I can't work until it's dead."
Steve's mind went blank for a moment. "You had JARVIS call me down here for a spider? Tony, I thought somebody was attacking you or something had happened with your machines!"
"I am being attacked! I'm being attacked by a spider!" Tony shrieked at Steve, still glancing at the floor.
"Tony, it's just a spider. There's probably dozens down here with all the boxes and things you have crammed in here." Steve began walking around the pile of boxes Tony was standing on, looking for the feared spider.
Tony groaned. "Don't say that! I'll never be able to come down here again."
"Good. Maybe I should flood the place with spiders so you have to get out of here." Steve continued walking around the stacks.
Suddenly, something crashed into him and Steve barely caught his balance. Tony was shrieking in his ear while trying to climb higher up Steve's body. "THERE IT IS! OH MY GOD! KILL IT, CAP! IT'S GONNA BITE ME! KILL THE BASTARD!"
"Would you get off of me?!" Steve looked for where Tony was pointing but couldn't see anything. "Where the hell is it?"
"IT'S RIGHT THERE!!" Tony grabbed Steve's head from behind and turned it so that he was facing the floor. His eyes fell on a tiny speck on the floor. He crouched down to get a look and Tony crawled up him so that he was almost sitting on Steve's head. "DON'T GET CLOSE TO IT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"
"Tony, that has got to be the tiniest spider I have ever seen." He laid his hand flat on the floor and then scooted the spider into his open hand. Tony jumped off of him and ran to the other side of the room.
"YOU'RE PICKING IT UP?!"
"Well, I'm not going to kill him. I'm going to bring him back outside."
"NO! You have to kill it otherwise it'll breed and then there will be hundreds of those fuckers! No, no, no! You have to kill it!" Tony looked like he was about to faint.
Steve rolled his eyes and strolled back to the elevator. "Don't call me down here the next time you see a spider."
Later that day, men in hazardous waste suits were carrying equipment down to Tony's lab. When Steve asked JARVIS about it, he said that Tony was fumigating his lab to 'rid it of any crawling bastards that might be ploting his death'.