Chapter Text
“Good luck with the new kid.”
Heeseung stopped at the door to his classroom. “What do you mean?”
“I just helped him with his entry paperwork. He doesn’t talk. Like, at all.” Heeseung’s fellow tutor said.
“I’ll try my best,” Heeseung assured, and opened the door. He got seated at his desk at the front and surveyed his small class of Korean language learners. Like his coworker had said, he spotted a new face amongst them, seated all the way in the back and in the corner. Since starting work at this academy as a tutor he’d built up a reasonable confidence in his ability to make the students feel at ease. How hard could it be to get this new one to open up?
“Hello everyone,” Heeseung greeted as usual, and the class offered up a couple of mumbled ‘hello’s in return, as usual.
Heeseung checked his roll sheet again. “We have a new student with us starting this week. Nishimura Riki?” He looked at the kid all the way in the back. This school being a private tutoring academy, Heeseung’s students ranged from being actually student-aged to twenties and beyond. Anyone at any age could enroll at any time, and his current class consisted of mostly adult learners. In fact, they were all older than Heeseung himself, who was still just in his first year of college.
This Riki kid stood out as being obviously not an adult- a kid. He couldn’t have been more than fifteen, by Heeseung’s estimate. No wonder he was shy.
Presently Riki’s eyes flickered up at his name being called and then resumed staring at his desk. He said nothing.
“Would you introduce yourself very briefly?” Heeseung tried.
The kid just continued looking downwards. His fringe nearly obscured his eyes.
“Would you like to introduce yourself?” Heeseung repeated kindly, this time trying Japanese. This was the beginner class after all, maybe Riki didn’t understand him. All of the students at this academy were Japanese foreigners living in Korea. That was kind of the academy’s selling point, as well as the reason Heeseung had applied to teach here specifically.
“Using Japanese is alright,” Heeseung added.
Riki’s eyes flicked up again and for the smallest of moments Heeseung was able to make eye contact with the boy. Then Riki looked off into the corner again and shook his head. He looked terrified.
Alright then. “Well, welcome Riki.” Heeseung clapped his hands and summoned a smile. “Anyways, I’ll pass out the workbooks for this week.” He continued class as usual. Hopefully Riki would warm up eventually; speaking practice was important after all.
By the end of class the new student still hadn’t spoken a word, despite Heeseung prompting him to answer or read simpler sentences from the workbook. It had made for a couple of awkward pauses during class, but nothing Heeseung wasn’t familiar with smoothing out by now. Riki was at least taking notes and completing the exercises, which was a relief. Still, when the rest of the class was packing up and heading out the door, Heeseung took the opportunity to walk to the back of the classroom and check up on his new charge.
Heeseung sank to a crouch once he arrived at Riki’s desk. “Was your first class alright?” He figured he better use Japanese to help the poor kid feel more comfortable.
Riki’s wide eyes darted to where Heeseung was crouching like Heeseung had just appeared out of thin air. He opened his mouth once and then closed it, looking indecisive. Then he nodded.
“If there’s anything I can do to help you feel more comfortable, please tell me,” Heeseung said. Rather than the boy’s eyes, the only thing Heeseung could see was his black locks curling around the back of his ear as he looked steadfastly down at the desk. He probably hadn’t gotten a haircut since coming from Japan. Heeseung imagined for a flash the poor kid attempting to go to a salon alone here in Korea, not being able to say a word. Riki looked so miserable that Heeseung was dying to help.
Riki’s hands furled and unfurled on his desk. He dared to look Heeseung in the eyes again and Heeseung offered a kind smile.
“...”
“Are you here in Korea alone?” Heeseung changed his tact.
Riki nodded yes. Heeseung wanted to pout. This kid must be having a hard time.
“Are you in high school?” Another nod. This class was in the afternoon. Riki must have already attended a day of school before coming here.
“Transfer student?” Nod. “Which year?”
After a beat, Riki lifted his hand and held one finger up. He peered at Heeseung from under his straight line of black hair.
“You’re young, so you’ll learn really fast. Don’t worry.” Heeseung grinned with teeth and Riki looked startled. He reached for his backpack and Heeseung got the message, standing and stepping away so Riki could get up from his desk.
“See you tomorrow,” Heeseung called as Riki scurried towards the door. His figure was so tiny, especially compared to the hulking backpack he carried. Heeseung hoped he hadn’t pushed too far on his first day.
To Heeseung’s surprise, Riki stopped at the doorway to the classroom. Heeseung was about to ask if he needed anything when Riki turned his head back.
“Bye,” Riki muttered, so quickly and quietly that Heeseung almost second-guessed his ears.
Then the boy hurried out the door.
..
Getting sent to a foreign country for your first year of high school because your parents thought it would be “a good experience” was rough.
“Good” was not exactly the word that Riki would choose to describe his experience in Korea so far. He didn’t know the language, he didn’t know the city, he didn’t know the people, and he was living in a tiny crappy little one room unit with a heating system that would only turn on at the jurisdiction of the building owner. At school he couldn’t understand a thing the teachers said and the kids could bother him all they wanted because he didn’t know how to talk back.
At his Korean language academy.. well, everyone else in his class were adults, which made them just as unapproachable even if they did speak the same language. He’d been hoping to meet other Japanese kids his age there, but no such luck. At least the teacher seemed nice. He looked younger than the actual students and spoke good Japanese. Riki had been a bit shocked at first that the teacher was so young and handsome. When the teacher smiled at him for real from such close range, teeth and all, Riki had felt such a surge of shyness and blood to his face that he'd just grabbed his backpack and ran.
Still, the teacher seemed to care about Riki participating in class, so Riki tried. He really tried his best. Even when it felt like his throat was closing up, he struggled through speaking when called on in as many words as he could muster. The teacher’s approving smile after every attempt was enough fuel to sustain Riki’s efforts the next time. He was a bit proud of himself because after that first day, Heeseung only had to use Japanese with him three other times, and one of those times was with the entire class, so Riki told himself it didn't really count.
Riki shouldered his backpack and headed towards the door. It was Friday, the end of an exhausting first week at the Korean academy on top of his regular school.
“Riki?”
Riki clutched his backpack straps as he jumped and swiveled his head towards the front desk. What did his teacher want?
Heeseung reached into his bag and pulled out a package of snacks. It took Riki a couple moments to decipher the logo. It looked like something chocolate.
“You worked hard this week,” Heeseung said. He pushed the snack package towards Riki.
Riki felt his eyes saucer. He raised an index finger to point to himself. For me?
Heeseung nodded. “For you.”
Riki shuffled to the front of the teacher’s desk and cautiously took the snacks.
“..Thanks,” he mumbled. His teacher’s face lit up, smiling ear to ear, and Riki felt his heart leap up into his throat again. He was torn between averting his eyes or continuing to stare directly into the sun.
"I'll see you next week?" Heeseung said.
"..Yeah," Riki said, "See you."
"It's good to finally get a smile from you." Heeseung's eyes seemed to glitter to Riki as he spoke.
Huh? Riki was smiling? He almost lifted his hand to his face to check and then remembered himself.
"Bye," he blurted, and ran out of the classroom holding his bag of snacks to his chest. Once his back was against the door he touched his fingers to his cheek. His face was burning like he was running a fever, and he was definitely, definitely smiling.
..
Heeseung was really glad he’d decided to reach out to Riki on that first day, because to his surprise starting from the next week Riki made a point to sit in the front row and his participation in class only grew and grew. Behind the mop of hair was a mischievous and witty personality that slowly began to unveil itself. As expected, he made fast progress compared to his older peers and pretty soon Heeseung was wondering if he should have Riki take the test to move on to the next class level. It was too bad because he really enjoyed having Riki in his class.
Fortunately, the decision was made for him. Riki approached him one day after he had dismissed the class. It was becoming a common occurrence for the high schooler to come to him first. It might be a question about one of his school assignments, some slang he'd seen on the internet, or sometimes apparently just to bother Heeseung. Heeseung didn't mind of course, he was happy to help and saw it as speaking practice.
Anyways, this time Riki had prepared a blurb of writing on his phone. He pulled it up and said, (in Korean, to Heeseung's pride,)
"This is my application for the dance club at school. Could you check it for me?"
"Of course! I didn't know you danced." Heeseung said, taking the phone.
"Yeah," Riki said, grinning brightly. Riki was so smiley all the time now, Heeseung observed. He still wasn't making eye contact all the time, but Heeseung supposed it was one step at a time.
After Heeseung corrected some grammar errors and handed the phone back to Riki, the kid lingered in front of his desk.
"Um, Heeseung seonsaengnim.. if I end up joining the dance club, it’s at the same time as this. I won't be able to come to class anymore."
“Oh?” Heeseung paused. He wouldn’t be able to attend the higher level class either. It was taught at the same time. He didn’t expect that he would have to say goodbye to Riki this soon.
“But,” Riki continued. “I still need help with my assignments, so,” That’s true. Riki could keep up basic conversation but writing essays and learning about Korean history was far beyond his abilities. Heeseung thought about it.
“Do you want to do one-on-one tutoring with me then?” Heeseung offered. “You can choose times that work for you.”
Riki brightened like a lightbulb. “Great!” He paused and his eyes wandered around the ceiling. It seemed that he was trying to construct a sentence because he finally gave up and said excitedly in Japanese, “I’ll get into the dance club for sure!”
Heeseung smiled. Riki’s enthusiasm was infectious. “Yeah! Hwaiting!”
..
Where it used to drag painfully, time in Korea suddenly flew for Riki. He made friends in school, in and out of his dance club, and studying got a lot easier. Sometimes he surprised even himself at how quickly he was picking up Korean. Of course, having an amazing teacher helped.
It was easier to fully enjoy his tutoring sessions with Heeseung after Riki fully admitted to himself that he had a crush on his Korean teacher. It was no big deal, he told himself. Heeseung was so nice and smart and handsome that it would make less sense if he wasn't crushing on him. In their one-on-one sessions Riki learned that Heeseung was attending his first year of school at Seoul National University majoring in Japanese studies. That explained why he spoke such good Japanese and chose to tutor at this academy part-time. Later when Riki went home, looked up SNU, and realized just how prestigious the school was, his crush only ballooned in size.
When Riki arrived at the academy for tutoring today, Heeseung was already in their classroom (classroom was generous, the room reserved for one-on-one tutoring couldn’t have been more than ten square meters) poring over some books of his own. Riki pushed the door open and closed it softly so it wouldn’t make a sound. Then he crept up behind his tutor on the left and snaked an arm around to tap his right shoulder.
Heeseung raised his head and looked to his right. When he found no one there, he swiveled to his left where Riki was smiling from ear to ear.
“I’m here,” Riki said.
Heeseung shook his head fondly and spared a grin. “Hey Riki. You always get me with that, I should know better by now.”
Riki had no idea why he got such a rush from playing these kinds of childish tricks on his tutor, but he did. He shoved down the butterflies in his stomach to point at Heeseung’s work and chirp, “What’s this?”
“Just some readings for school.” Heeseung said modestly.
“Ooh,” Riki said. “Can I see? I want to try reading them.”
Heeseung laughed. “Good luck.” he said, passing one of the printout packets over.
“South Korean-Japanese,” Riki began confidently, “..Relations.. as a Factor.. in.. Stunted Region, Regional-ism?” He finished with a question mark. “What does that all mean?”
"I think you can probably guess based on the hanja," Heeseung said. He pointed to the first unfamiliar word.
Ah, this was actually one of Riki's favorite exercises. He felt great when he could determine the meaning of new words without needing to be told. And Heeseung acted so impressed with him every time Riki guessed right.
"Factor?" Riki repeated. "Oh wait, it's the same in Japanese. Like ‘reason’, right?"
Heeseung nodded. "Right, nice. Next, 'stunted'."
Riki glowed under the praise and got to deciphering the next word.
After they finished working through the unfamiliar vocab, Riki asked Heeseung how he got interested in studying Japanese in the first place.
Heeseung blushed. “It’s silly, but I loved anime and manga as a kid, so I picked up some Japanese that way. My older brother would always be playing J-rock too, it was his emo phase or something. When I got to high school my foreign language grades were always really good and I ended up liking cultural studies anyways, so I stuck with it.”
Riki almost missed everything Heeseung said because his tutor just looked so pretty while he was talking about himself. "You should come visit me in Japan!" He insisted regardless.
Heeseung gave a little laugh. “That would be fun. Anyways, let's take a look at your homework."
“Sure!”
..
It seemed to Heeseung like Riki kept trying to invite him to do things outside of the academy. If Korean food came up in a textbook, Riki would throw out that they should eat it together. Same thing at the mention of any famous landmarks in Seoul. There were also all the times when Riki tried to nudge Heeseung to end the class early and go to a PC cafe instead. Most recently it was because Riki found out that Heeseung liked playing FIFA too. His student insisted that they had to play at least one game together to see who was better. Heeseung found Riki's indomitable competitiveness endearing, and since he was competitive himself when it came to games he humored Riki and argued that he was definitely the better FIFA player.
As fun as it was to play along with Riki, meeting students outside of the academy was against protocol and Heeseung always declined smoothly with some excuse about college or turned it into a suggestion of a studying game they could play at the end of their session that day. The phenomenon still lingered in his thoughts sometimes though. He was worried Riki wasn't making enough friends at school and was lonely, which is why he was asking Heeseung to do things with him. Although Riki had a very vibrant and playful personality when he opened up, so Heeseung saw no reason he should have trouble in that department.
He wandered into the staff room and headed for the copy machine absent-mindedly. In front of the copy machine he paused. Wait. Where was that sheet of paper? He was almost positive he’d brought the worksheet he needed to copy for his Elementary class with him, but as he looked through his folders it was nowhere to be found. After several minutes of shuffling papers he was ready to give up and reprint the document. He reorganized everything and brought his folders to his chest when he heard two of his older coworkers come into the staff room.
“Admin won’t give you a raise?”
“They won’t. It’s bullshit. I’m teaching twice as many students as when I started.”
The copy machine was behind a cubicle divider, so his coworkers probably didn’t know he was there.
"I get you. I've been here two years now and just got my first one."
"No way. How much are you making now? If you don't mind."
It wasn't his intention to eavesdrop but Heeseung guiltily acknowledged the topic of his coworker's conversation interested him greatly. He was making a miniscule amount himself.
“I’m up to a hundred forty thousand won.” A deep sigh.
“Oh great, that’s the raise I have to look forward to? I’m making a hundred twenty thousand a month.”
Heeseung froze. A hundred twenty thousand? He knew for a fact that he was doing more hours than that guy, what with the one on one sessions he had with Riki, and he was getting paid ninety. His fingers dug into his folders and blood rose to his face, prickling his skin as he suddenly found himself enraged. He hadn’t started too long after that guy either. In fact, the only difference that he could think of was that he was a student and his coworker was not.
As he stood in front of the copy machine, rooted to the spot, repeating what he just heard over and over in his head even though his coworkers had already moved on to other topics, he could only feel a rising sense of injustice. He was underpaid to the point it was almost criminal and he hadn’t even known it. Moreover, it was just ethically and morally wrong to discriminate against employees in this way. His coworkers finally left with only moments until class started and Heeseung was able to emerge from his enclave without being detected.
Robotically, he headed to his classroom and took his seat at his desk, apologizing to his class for his tardiness. During class he was restless. He lectured and corrected the in-class worksheets on autopilot, floating through a cloud of slowly condensing outrage. He wasn’t the type to get mad easily but when he let things stew in his head on occasion, it could happen. And as the minutes dripped by there was a part of him that grew angrier and angrier until it burned red hot at the injustice against him.
He left quickly after class was over, neglecting to stay behind for questions this one time. His teeth were clenched so hard he wasn’t sure if he would be able to answer properly anyways. Heading to the public restrooms, not wanting to be seen by a coworker in the staff ones, he flung the door open and took two murderous strides to the nearest sink.
The knobs squeaked as he wrenched the water on. He glared at his reflection in the mirror for a couple beats while the faucet spewed into the sink bowl and then splashed his face. Staring at the droplets trickling down his contorted eyebrows, he tried to collect himself.
Click. It was the sound of a stall being unlatched. Heeseung nearly had a heart attack and glanced in the mirror behind him only to lock eyes in the mirror with Riki emerging from the stall.
Right. He’d been so caught up in his anger that he’d almost forgotten about their class. He schooled his expression as best he could to greet Riki with some semblance of normalcy, and not like he’d felt like punching the mirror just moments ago.
But when he turned around, he got a real look at Riki’s face and paused. The kid's eyes looked red rimmed and his whole face was puffy like he had been crying. In an instant Heeseung’s axis shifted from fueling his own self-righteous outrage to checking on Riki’s well-being.
“Hey,” Heeseung said cautiously.
“..Hi Heeseung seonsaengnim.” Riki’s gaze was somewhere on the floor. He shifted his weight back and forth as if he was anxious to run away.
Heeseung stepped aside and nodded to the sink. Riki looked confused for a moment and then said ‘ah’ quickly and went to wash his hands. Heeseung suspected he had only been inside the stall to cry without being seen.
When Riki was finished and drying his hands, Heeseung ventured, “Are you alright?” Riki swallowed and looked at Heeseung but said nothing. Heeseung’s heart gave a squeeze. It was like he was that deathly shy kid from his first day at the academy again.
Heeseung glanced around the bathroom and then decided, “Let’s go to our classroom.”
He made his way to their door, listening to Riki’s trailing footfalls behind him. When they sat down inside the classroom, Heeseung tried to meet Riki’s eyes again. “Riki, how are you doing?”
The corners of Riki’s mouth quivered as he stared a hole into the desk.
“Hm? Come on.”
“I’m fine,” Riki said.
“You can tell seonsaengnim if you want to skip today,” Heeseung said. “We don’t have to study today.”
Riki shook his head and a stray tear droplet flung from his lashes onto the desk. He wiped it with the sleeve of his hoodie. Heeseung said nothing, looking at the cowlick of the hair on top of his head. Riki’s ears were burning red.
“It’s embarrassing,” Riki finally said.
“No it’s not, “ Heeseung assured. “Whatever it is.”
“...” Riki continued to look down. “..I miss home.” His lip wobbled as he spoke and the rest of his face soon followed, completely crumpling as his tears overflowed and ran in streaks down his face. It was as if saying it out loud was the last blow that finally broke the dam.
Heeseung’s heart shattered into a million little pieces. “That’s not ridiculous at all,” he said quickly. “Of course you’d miss it. It must be so tough to be here all by yourself.” There was a pregnant pause as Riki continued to cry. “..Do you want to talk about it?”
Finally Riki nodded. A tear dropped from his chin onto his textbook and Heeseung darted his hand out to wipe it off the cover with his sleeve. Before he pulled back Riki latched onto his wrist with both hands and began to pour out his woes in Japanese, stuttering over himself and choking on sobs. He missed his family. He missed being able to go home and have a snack from his mom waiting on the kitchen table. He missed biking after school with his friends. He missed the onigiri that they only sold in Japanese convenience stores. Learning in Korean was hard and his head hurt everyday from translating everything he saw and heard and he felt like he would be behind when he went back to his school in Japan because he couldn’t learn his best here.
Heeseung just sat there, patting Riki’s little fists with his free hand. He kept repeating useless platitudes, knowing that nothing he could say would actually fix any of Riki’s problems. He really did feel for the kid. If, at the very least, he could be the adult Riki felt safe enough to open up to here in Korea, Heeseung would gladly lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on.
Eventually Riki ran out of words and sniffled quietly while he seemed to collect himself.
“I’m sorry,” he said, switching to Korean. He wiped his eyes pathetically.
“Don’t be, Riki-yah.. How about we just watch an anime today? I’ll find a Korean dub, it can count as studying for the day.” Honestly, with how emotionally taxing the day had been for him as well, Heeseung didn’t mind a break himself. Riki agreed readily and Heeseung was encouraged that at least that managed to get a smile out of the kid.
While Riki watched the anime on the projector, Heeseung opened a blank email to write to his boss about his wage discrepancy, or better yet to just quit. Schoolwork was piling up anyways. But he kept looking up at Riki’s tear stained face following the action on the projector carefully and repeating Korean phrases to himself from time to time. He couldn't just leave Riki. That would be heartless.
Quietly, Heeseung lowered his laptop screen and turned around to watch Luffy and his crew on the screen.
After their scheduled hour was up, Heeseung asked Riki when he would return to Japan. To his relief, the boy’s eyes were no longer teary, although they were definitely swollen. Heeseung could only smile fondly at the sight.
"In a month and a half, why?"
A month and half wasn't too bad. Heeseung could last that long. "Nothing, just thinking I'll miss you when you're gone."
There were those glowing ears again. Riki nodded quickly and bit down on his lip. "I'll miss seonsaengnim too."
..
Riki couldn't stop thinking about what Heeseung had said after their last tutoring session. He was good at telling himself not to get his hopes up, but when his tutor said things like that he couldn't help himself. Crying in front of Heeseung like a little kid was embarrassing, but what could he do? He liked Heeseung so much that he was at the top of the list of people in Korea that Riki wanted to find comfort in. Besides, the thought of Heeseung missing him when he went back to Japan was enough to make him forget the other stuff that had happened that day.
He couldn't forget Heeseung's expression in the bathroom before their class though. It was the first time he had ever seen his usually gentle tutor look angry. Something was clearly bothering him that day, but Riki hadn't been able to do anything about it because he was too busy bawling his eyes out the whole time.
After deliberating for a long time, tossing and turning on his lumpy apartment bed, he decided on a gift he could give Heeseung to cheer him up. At the end of their next session Riki pulled out a Winnie the Pooh bear plushie and presented it to Heeseung.
“Seonsaengnim, this is for you.”
“What? What’s this?” Heeseung looked flustered.
“Um,” Riki began, “Last week you looked upset.. in the bathroom.. I was worried so I wanted to give you something to make you feel better.”
Heeseung looked even more confused, if that was possible. “Wait, wait, I should be the one giving you a doll in that case.” Even so, Riki was almost certain he wasn’t imagining the sparkle in Heeseung’s eyes as he looked at the toy.
“Here,” Riki pushed it into his tutor’s hands. “Are you better now?”
“Better? Um, I was fine anyways, you don’t have to worry about me Riki.”
“Are you sure?” Riki pouted. “I was worried..”
Heeseung squished the Pooh doll in his hands and looked at it instead of Riki, brows furrowed. “Seriously Riki, it was nothing. Nothing that you should be worrying about. But thank you anyways,” he paused. “You’re a really good kid.”
Heeseung’s eyes crinkled and the corners of his mouth turned up and Riki’s heart jumped in his chest and started racing. He was way too flustered to figure out how to reply with anything in Korean, but fortunately Heeseung had more to say.
“Can I really keep this?” His tutor turned the doll around to admire it from all angles. His face seemed to become younger somehow. “It’s so cute.” The way Heeseung acted totally taken by the gift was even cuter in RIki’s eyes.
“Yes, I want you to keep it!”
“Thank you Riki-yah. Where did you get it anyways?”
“In Japan.. I brought it here with me. But I want you to have it! You seem stressed these days so..” Riki felt the back of his neck and ears flame up. “Look at it when you’re stressed and it will cheer you up. At least it works for me..” That was the truth, but Riki was also motivated by the possibility that Heeseung would be reminded of him every time he looked at the doll. It was selfish, but this was a gift for him as much as it was for Heeseung.
Heeseung looked speechless. “It was yours..? Are you sure you can give it to me?”
“Of course,” Riki insisted. “I don’t need it anymore, I’m all grown up.” As if he hadn’t been crying his eyes out the last time they’d seen each other. Heeseung seemed to be aware of that fact too as he looked at Riki with a twinkle in his eye. Riki was suddenly too embarrassed to hold eye contact and averted his gaze to his toes.
“Alright, I can’t say no to that. I’ll keep it on my desk at home when I’m studying,” Heeseung declared.
They met eyes again, Riki bursting inside with giddiness in front of his crush and Heeseung simply being reminded of his fondness for this student.
“Are you going down?” Heeseung asked. It took Riki a moment to realize that he was referring to leaving the academy building.
“Ah, yeah! Is seonsaengnim leaving too?”
“Yep, I’m done. Let’s go together.”
Riki shuffled into the elevator behind Heeseung. Heeseung stood facing the doors with his hands tucked into the straps of his backpack, watching the floor numbers tick down. Riki mirrored the older boy’s posture and observed their hazy reflections in the brushed steel of the elevator doors. Heeseung had almost a head on him in terms of height. The way he held himself with his backpack slung over his shoulders had an element of casual cool, with his long legs, slim jeans, and broad shoulders. Riki, to his dismay, just looked like a high school kid at the bus stop.
Riki ran ahead of Heeseung in the lobby and pushed the doors open first. A sharp, cold wind hit the pair right away and Heeseung’s face screwed up as soon as they felt it.
“Eugh,” he grunted. Even while grunting, he still looked cool to Riki.
It was surprisingly cold out, now that the sun had gone down. It felt like winter was really on its way.
“I walk this way to the subway,” Heeseung said.
“My bus stop is that way too!”
“If you look that way up into the hills, you can see my school.” Heeseung pointed.
“SNU?” Riki exclaimed. “Wow.. it seems kind of far.”
“The commute isn’t too bad.” His tutor replied. “..Are you not cold? Your jacket is so thin.”
“I’m fine!” Riki was just ecstatic to get to spend more time with Heeseung. He usually left the academy before his tutor did.
It turned out that he spoke too soon. By the time they reached his stop he was fighting down shivers. Heeseung had a thick hoodie on but still looked chilly as well. When he glanced at Riki he burst out laughing.
“Riki-yah, your lips are turning blue.” Riki just smiled as Heeseung shook his head. “Buy yourself a scarf at one of those subway shopping malls. I have to look out for you, I can’t have my favorite student freezing before our next class- Ah, I’m gonna be late to a meeting on campus.”
The grin on Riki’s face stayed there long after Heeseung had run off in the direction of the subway entrance. Even if he was standing in the tundra in the dead of winter he still would have felt warm inside. He was Heeseung’s favorite student!
Riki burst into their classroom on the day of their next session wearing a big fluffy scarf. The black fleece flounced around his face, framing a big, childish smile.
“Hey, you actually listened to me.”
“Yep, I went to the Gangnam underground mall, isn’t it nice?” Riki turned from side to side, preening under Heeseung’s attention. “And it’s so warm!”
Heeseung nodded, agreeing. Somehow he felt warmer inside too.
..
Finals came and went. Riki performed at the school festival with the dance club and went to noraebang with his classmates and ripped his uniform pants playing soccer in the snow after the last day of exams and before he knew it he was standing in the elevator as it carried him up to his final visit to the academy. As much as he wanted to go back home to Japan, he was reluctant to say goodbye to Heeseung. Today might be the last time they’d ever see each other. The thought was nothing short of catastrophic to Riki.
When he entered their classroom, he found Heeseung busy setting up the projector. His tutor greeted him and caught Riki’s puzzled expression. “I figured we could watch more of the anime we were watching before. It’s your last day after all.” He reached across the desk, grabbed a bag of jellies, and shook the package with a conspiratory grin. “I brought snacks. Just don’t tell anyone we’re eating in here.”
“You’re the best!” Riki cheered. He mimed zipping his lips before he plopped down and tore the bag open. Heeseung finished setting up his laptop and came around to Riki’s side of the table as they settled in.
Last time when they had watched, Heeseung had remained across the desk from Riki, doing some work on his laptop. This time, sitting next to Heeseung, Riki couldn’t help his imagination wandering. He wondered what it would be like to do this with Heeseung at a movie theater, on a date. Sometimes when they both reached for the jellies at the same time, their hands would brush just like they would over a box of popcorn. (Actually, Riki made a concerted effort to time his reaches at the same time as Heeseung’s.) He knew it was just a fantasy but he couldn’t help himself. Maybe in some far off future he would grow up and Heeseung would see him the way he saw his tutor. He kept stealing glances at Heeseung, and found his tutor’s eyelids drooping further and further as time went on. He must be tired and busy with his own finals too.
Their allotted class time was over already but they stayed ten minutes late to finish watching the episode they were on. Afterwards, Heeseung shook himself awake and set about tidying up the classroom. Riki sat there watching him, suddenly anxious. This was really it. This was goodbye. Riki felt the urge to do something , to at least end things neatly wrapped up with a bow on top.
Suddenly there was an object placed on the desk in front of Riki. It was a plush keychain of one of the KakaoTalk characters, the duck.
“I got this at the KakaoFriends store for you. The flagship one in Gangnam.” Heeseung said. “So you can carry around a piece of Korea even when you go back.”
Riki’s mouth fell open. “Heeseung seonsaengnim!! Thank you!!” He grabbed the package and started opening it. “Can I put it on my bag right now?”
“Of course. I wanted to commend you Riki. You’ve worked hard for the last several months. At this point your Korean might even be better than my Japanese.”
“No way,” Riki said, still smiling widely. Sunshine and flowers and rainbows were blooming in his heart. “It’s all thanks to seonsaengnim anyways. Thank you.” He fastened the keychain to one of the zippers on his backpack and regarded it happily. Carrying around a piece of Korea was fine, but more importantly he would be carrying around a piece of Heeseung .
“That character kind of reminds me of you,” Heeseung said as he surveyed Riki’s handiwork.
“Really?” The idea of Heeseung going into the KakaoFriends store and picking this character because it made him think of him put Riki on cloud nine. He wondered if Heeseung thought about him in other parts of his daily routine. On his part, Riki was reminded of Heeseung in almost everything he did in Korea. He wouldn’t be forgetting his tutor any time soon.
But would Heeseung forget about Riki? Riki had been going back and forth with the idea of asking for Heeseung’s contact when he went back to Japan. Now was his last chance.
They took the elevator down to the lobby together, Riki still gathering his courage. When they finally reached the doors, Heeseung turned to him and said, “Well, it’s been really fun. Thank you for all your hard work. I loved having you as my student.”
Now! Now was the time! Riki was about to open his mouth to ask when Heeseung glanced at his phone. “Oh my god, I’m gonna be late for a meet-up on campus,” he exclaimed. “Bye Riki! Go home safely! Have a safe flight! Keep studying your Korean even when you’re back in Japan! I’ve got to go!”
Heeseung ran off with one last tugging motion at his bag, like he was indicating to the keychain that was now stuck on Riki’s. Riki tugged at his keychain and Heeseung gave a thumbs up and one last blindingly bright toothy smile before he turned and disappeared into the crowds of Seoul.
Of course. Heeseung had his own busy life in college. He probably didn’t have time to keep in touch with a high school kid like Riki, much less see him in a romantic light.
He stared out in the direction his tutor ran off in. Somewhere in the hills out there was the university where Heeseung was hurrying towards now. As Riki strained his eyes to catch the last glimpse of his crush through the throngs of passersby though he knew he wouldn’t find anything, he realized he hadn’t even remembered to give Heeseung a hug. Crystals of cold pricked across his nose and cheeks. A soft, feathery snow had begun to fall over the city.
With the snow came a blanket of white fog, descending between the tall skyscrapers and blurring car headlights and flashing billboards. Assiduously the fog obscured Riki’s view of the SNU campus, which was only a couple of lights glittering near the horizon. But the sight remained emblazoned in his mind, even across the ocean when he returned to Japan.
.
.
.
Four Years Later.
It was Heeseung’s first time visiting the campus cafe in a while. His time spent on campus had diminished compared to his undergrad days since starting the first year of his Master’s Degree, but with midterms approaching he wanted to get back into his study groove.
He input his order into the display by the counter and waited for his iced americano and toast to come out. He’d probably review the background concerning his current text at his leisure while he finished his food and move to the library afterwards to begin the tedious work of reading and taking notes with a Korean-Japanese dictionary by his side.
The pager in his hand buzzed and he went to the counter to return it. Tray in one hand and drink in the other, he turned around and almost spilled his coffee on another student coming to get their order.
“Whoops, sorry.”
After Heeseung got over the shock of the almost-collision, he actually looked at the guy. He was tall, dark, and handsome, dressed in black from head to toe with a long coat in anticipation of the fall season. Heeseung’s line of sight carried up slim legs and past the column of the student’s black turtleneck to a sharp face that looked familiar.. and yet completely changed.
“Heeseung seonsaengnim?” Riki asked, mouth parted in surprise and pager still buzzing red in his hand.