Chapter Text
Chongyun’s schedule for the morning normally goes as follows: he wakes ups at an unheavenly hour (roughly quote, 5AM), baths and drinks cold water, does his stretches and meditation under a waterfall near Qingce village, then prepares himself for training.
Well, that’s how his normal day is supposed to go. He’s halfway through dressing himself when he feels his vision turn red.
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Ah, so he’s at Wanmin now. He meets face to face with a teasing Xingqiu.
Change of plan. The traveler probably time skipped to progress the game further again. No worries, since he’s already used to this…. He supposes he feels energized enough already.
“Aww, you’re so endearing, dearest Yunyun. Are you sure you don’t want a teeny little bite?”
Luckily, they’re currently in the Shadow. He’s about to refuse when he feels a sudden dryness catch his throat.
You’re supposed to keep up the airheaded exorcist facade. Remember to play your part, or who knows just how this universe may collapse! That voice reminds him, the one that told him that all of this was a game in the first place. You aren’t real, Chongyun. You exist behind someone’s screen. Just play your part. He grunts, reaching his hand out to push Xingqiu away but is stopped mid-track.
Even if they added just a little spice, an extra popsicle as always will be able to relieve you. Well, it’s not like it’s your choice anyway. In-game Chongyun will repeat that foolish mistake, even if it upsets your stomach and makes you vomit in a toilet not projectible on the Playstation. As if on cue, Chongyun feels his hands go numb, signaling that a Stage has started. Shit.
By the way, keep in mind that you have an event appearance coming up too with, you guessed it, our dear friend Xingqiu! This company seems to love making us appear everywhere with him.
You have to make sure to stand out to the audience this time around. Since, well, the traveler hasn’t used you for months. But you are just a four-star, so you probably shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up. Stop. Chongyun just wants the voice to shut up. Xingqiu is edging nearer, and he wants to break out of these invisible chains, but his efforts come fruitless.
Although, I can see the audience starting to slowly get bored of you two. You might want to upgrade your fanservice if you don’t want to be deemed irrelevant. You know what happens if you don’t, right? Just what did it want?
You’re supposed to feel gratification and disappointment as Xingqiu and Xiangling laugh. That is your job, after all. Don’t miss the way that the pixels that actuate their smiles are slowly collapsing, either. That’s what happens if people forget about you, Chongyun. You have to keep yourself relevant so that the player never forgets you.
“Yunyunnnnn,” Xingqiu whines, chopsticks skillfully picking up a piece of radish cake. “C-mere, here comes the choo-choo train!”
Oh, god, the audience must’ve been taking it too far with the infantilization again.
The food is definitely spiked, no doubt about it. But they were in the Stage: meaning that Chongyun could only let the overworld control his actions and that he couldn’t fight back.
How his character kept falling for these guises of nutrition, he had no idea. It had been a long-running joke for the creators after a while, but in truth - it wasn’t fun at all to be constantly tricked by someone he was so close to.
The original Xingqiu wasn’t like this. The accidental spice had maybe only happened once or twice, but the real Xingqiu had genuinely apologized out of pure guilt. Xingqiu’s character isn’t not the same as in canon when he appears on screen, but Chongyun has definitely noticed how his personality drastically changed in the Shadow once fans got obsessed with their relationship.
Sometimes, Chongyun thinks about how he may have genuinely fell for Xingqiu in any other setting, had he been given the choice to freely love him as he pleases.
But under these puppet strings, that could never become reality.
“Open up.” And then his world goes blank.
“You’re rather in a hurry today.” Lithe fingers latch onto his wrist, pulling Chongyun backward until his back lightly grazes the dark blue-haired boy's chest. A faint chuckle is heard underneath. Chongyun pulls back, eyes trying to discern the hinting grin on the young masters' charming features.
He would’ve fought back, tried to tell Xingqiu about the truth of this world, how this was all just a fabrication of the universe they supposedly lived in. But it was as if the universe knew, for Xingqiu seemed to always forget once the next day reset.
“Am I, love?” Chongyun purposefully responds, peering at the younger to see his reaction. Xingqiu peers up at that, pupils adamantly wide as he registers the words.
“Yuny— Yun. I…” His eyes soften at the prospect, confusion dancing with the way he nervously looks between Chongyun and the popsicle in his hand.
“Abawaba, no, I get it Xingqiu. I know. You’ve been flirting with me since childhood. It’s just that I’m so unrealistically an airhead to not have noticed throughout the whole course of this game.”
“Game?” Xingqiu pauses, but his tone is nevertheless amused. “What game are we playing?” The love game. Chongyun has to refrain from replying sarcastically or teasing him the same way Xingqiu does to the in-game Chongyun.
It would be rather fun to tease him back, he thinks. To witness as his face flushes red that Chongyun finally rebounded or reciprocated his obvious flirting. It’s not that Xingqiu isn’t attractive - he’s undeniably pretty. Chongyun actually struck gold when he was stuck being paired with him as a main ship partner. His personality isn’t half bad either, even if he teases Chongyun, it’s in a friendly matter, and he’s rather adept in battle and can get serious when needed. If finances were actually a problem in this world, he would be the perfect candidate: the stereotypical rich trophy child who wants to be someone they can’t be.
The problem, however,
The skies evidently darken, clouds swirling and harsh wind signaling the change in scene. Xingqius eyes of justful Cor Lapis transmute into that of the Cheshire Cat.
“Yunyun!!! How bold of you. I didn’t know you had such a side to you~”
Ah, there it was. The audience’s Xingqiu.
Another thing about this world: the more the fans change the character and alter their personality in fanwork, the more the canon characters' personality would actually change.
Chongyuns feet are frozen to the floor. Since they’re stuck in the Stage, he can’t control his own actions, nor can Xingqiu. For Xingqiu’s case as someone who’s unaware, he can’t even tell his entire personality has turned a hundred and eighty.
“Don’t tease me like that again, okay?” Xingqiu whisphers as he leans into ear, golden eyes glinting with amusement and commiseration. An empty peck is placed on Chongyun’s cheek, short but static electricity creating friction between them as Xingqiu draws away.
“But I have to admit, my clueless Yunyun is rather adorable~ I want to see how you quiver when you find out I’ve send you a false location again.” That, Xingqiu must’ve not meant to say out loud.
“Not like you’ll register that I said that anyways. Your face is bright red.”
Right. Chongyun was supposed to enjoy the kiss. Blood rushes to his head and he immediately sees his vision go red. The exorcist, in all his glory and refuse, passes out, hazy eyes closing shut but not ignorant to the red seas that crash in Xingqiu’s devillish eyes.
Lean arms wrap around his torso, overjoyed they’d once again tricked their best friend into playing the damsel in distress for both their villain and their saviour.
It’s been… a while since Chongyun was last brought to fight. A hundred and eighty-two days, to be exact. He didn’t have much else to do other than count the days until his possible erosion.
That voice, the same one at the back of his mind who occasionally nags him— and the same one who made him self aware, it had told him a secret:
“If you aren’t used for more than a year by the traveler, there’s the possibility that your character erodes. Not in the adeptus sense— but instead into a reality that transcends your current one.”
“In other words, I die?”
“It’s unclear as day— but you know that wolf boy from Mondstadt? He’s not been here for a while. His model is still there, but once he met his 365th day he suddenly lost the color in his eyes,”
“Used to be self-aware just like you too. Just didn’t fully grasp what was going on and before he knew it— the Razor that I used to cherish was gone. He didn’t respond like he used to. His words were just kind of… empty— ”
“Morninnnnn!” Chongyun’s short nap is interrupted by fox-like screeching.
“You,” he immediately splutters, eyes absorbing the dangerous red petals of Hu Tao’s pupils, dangerously close to his as she hangs upside down from the tree branch, pulling her weight and looking like its about to snap any second now. Likewise, she tumbles to the grass at his feet, nearly falling into his lap as he makes a displeased grunt.
“Strange to see you not at work, exorcist. I thought you worked hard as day, swift as night.” A bush of leaves are meteorically swept off her head.
“Sometimes, rest is necessary.” But that does remind him— he should return to his training. Yet, he flinches as he attempts to stand. He continuously forgets that all effort still comes fruitless, since the only way to improve is to get the writers to upgrade (in other words, buff) his character.
He can’t help but feel a bit tired that all this body knows is the same three automated attacked positions and the same skillsets. His exorcism techniques wasn’t even improving the slightest bit either - it was frustrating, to say the least.
Improving is also hard when he’s been stripped of the pretty clothing he once sported, too.
His Icebreakers Resolve, his Broken Rime’s Echo. Those ‘artifacts’ and his favourite claymore - they were all given to a white haired woman from the newest nation once the traveler had eventually gotten bored of him half a year ago. He recoils, then sighs.
The Shirasagi Himegimi was the travelers favourite toy, after all. It would take a miracle for him to get those artifacts back. But, such memories had no use to be fret upon. Move forward, hope for the best, that’s the motto both him and the in-game Chongyun shared. After all, he was the only one who truly lived in this world, so it wasn’t like there was anyone who could care for his despairs other than himself.
A quick glance is shot at Hu Tao. It’s sad too - the fact that the director lives in ignorance.
If anything, she’s the most pitiful of them all. She was this travelers first five star but was subjected to the terrible defense of “I was rolling to build up pity and I was rolling for Xingqiu constellations.” Enraged that they lost all chances of acquiring the bard from the neighboring nation, the traveler has kept her at level one up to this day. He may have been more benevolent in any other situation, but her death day was approaching as close as his due to these foolish actions. Even if she didn't know it.
Hu Tao, divvy as ever, sends him a wicked grin. He smiles back.
The way Chongyuns body reacts to Xingqiu’s flirting tells him everything. But sometimes his character doesn’t make sense. Chongyun sees the signs. He hears the way his heart races when Xingqiu grabs his wrist, and he sees the way his cheeks blush in the reflection of the jewellery shop as Xingqiu drapes him in a necklace at the tempting promise of fake marriage. He knows that the Chongyun written on the stage is in love with Xingqiu but refuses to confront it. His character is completely dense with what’s going on. Despite it… being desperately obvious.
What fear is there? Xingqiu obviously reciprocates those feelings and asks them on constant dates. The real Chongyun knows. He isn’t that dense.
So why can’t the Chongyun in the Shadow feel his heart racing now? Even if he forces to picture himself meeting Xingqiu’s lips or reading with him atop the lake with their palms adjourned, the only thought he can muster is:
“If Xingqiu's thoughts were raw, if they were birthed from true love for him and not convenient fan service - how would Chongyun deal with it?” Ideally, Xingqiu is the perfect partner, scrap away all the corruption the audience has done to his actual character, Chongyun would love to know him better beyond the surface tidbits of teasing and stage one flirting.
But the problem is Xingqiu is just a bunch of line and script. He doesn’t actually exist the way Chongyun does. He’s a mere fantasy, at best.
There’s some flickering rage, jealousy even, for Xingqiu and the other characters to leave him behind like this and live ignorant. But it’s not their fault they have no idea what’s going on. They repeated the written script or answered the same things to the traveller every day by the writers command. It was an endless loop for them, he just happened to wiggle out of a single chain.
At this rate, things were never going to change.
A pink leaf is carried by the breeze in his direction. Oh - of course, after all, silk flowers were Xingqiu’s ascension material. That was all he was to the audience: someone’s boyfriend.
There’s something awfully peculiar about the director. She plays with seelies as if they are butterflies, serenading the night above under an empty field of grass as she lightly tiptoes across stones, the rippling but shallow liquid stirring as if guarding Zhou Formula. Make-believe silk flowers and pyro butterflies dancing along her trail, all under the guise that the sky above them isn’t fake. The moon blinks back, a color of scorching red illuminating the gentle dance and the marsh between them.
He hadn’t expected to see her here. It must be fun, to have such freedom yet ignorance in your characters actions. She looks like she’s having the time of her life.
Hmm, maybe it wasn’t that unexpected. This domain was where her characters spirit primarily resided, due to it being where she was advertised in the real world.
Crimson eyes wash over him, realizing they are not alone.
“Who do we have here?” she chuckles, pyro spear falling to her side as she fights off the last lot of hilichurls.
“You could’ve helped me, you know. Melt reaction would’ve surely helped me do numbers. I’m using a Beginners Protector. It’s hard work.”
“You’re not wrong. Wait a minute—” Nothing can hide the grin on her face. “You’ve known since….”
“Day one. What about you?” His eyebrows perturb to an unsettling height.
“A few weeks ago,” He fails to hide his concern, “God. That must’ve been horrible.”
“I have about three weeks left. If the traveler doesn’t call on me by then, I might just hit the border sooner than I expected,” She sighs, “I know I deal with funeral work and all, but this is a whole lot different than mortal death in itself.”
“Was it the same voice that told you?” he questions, slightly assured that he wasn’t the only one going through this. She hums.
“Don’t know who they are. Or if that voice is really a thing— all I know is that I’m not real.”
“How did you know that I… you know.”
“You weren’t discrete in hiding it,” She laughs, poking his cheek to fluster him, he ignores the way they heat up, “I could see the way you would openly flirt with Xingqiu and would avoid interacting with him unless needed when were in the Shadow.”
“... I see.”
“It is rather unfortunate, per say. But there’s nothing much we can do about it.”
“Are you just planning to wait it out and hope the traveler suddenly picks you up again?”
“No way! I’m taking the opportunity to get chosen! You see… there’s a new spiral abyss buff coming up. Pyro plus 20% damage and increased attack for those below 30% of their HP. Sounds exactly like it’s made for me, right? I’ll just need to keep advertising myself before then.”
“How so, exactly?”
“Follow me.” They spend the rest of the night shouting taunts from the top of Mount Hulao and casting imaginary hexes on the traveler known as TrashCan106.
It seems the audience thinks he hates Hu Tao: while they’re not far off, it’s more mixed rage and admiration than anything.
She was born with everything he didn’t have, but vice versa - he had everything she didn’t. They were like the sun and moon, in essentiality. Opposing color schemes, different views on spirits, different skill levels via battling and handling said spirits and the afterlife, different in-game rarities… in essence, nearly everything. He could never quite stand on the same tangent as her, and neither could she. The number of arguments they had over the past month were uncountable on both his finigers and toes.
But Chongyun found himself cherishing and engrossed in their odd friendship, especially considering there was no one else who knew this world like they both did. That: was the only thing that they had in common.
They would spend some evenings weaving verses for showdowns with Xingqiu, Hu Tao snickering as he failed to string words together in the poetic way she so fluently does. While she’s a natural at most things, he has to work hard to even hold his weapon straight. Most would assume he’s jealous, which wasn’t a lie the first time around.
But he realised that the Hu Tao in-game…. Both story and battle wise, had almost no one. Almost everyone in Liyue had some undesirable hatred for her, due to her misconceptions and rash behavior at times. But Chongyun realised that despite his initial impression of her, she was rather fun to be around, and Xingqiu in-game felt the same.
In all honesty, those canon meet-ups between the trio was the closest he felt to home. Here, even if he couldn’t control his movements, Xingqiu wasn’t horribly overbearing, clingy or flirty. It joyed him to be able to treat the other two as equals and cheering in fondness when Chongyun announced their poetry spar winner.
Keeping those moments calm and slow, their interactions genuine and raw - that, Chongyun yearned for the most. He had no desire to be Xingqiu’s romantic partner, but being his friend, he felt much satisfied with. The thought still crosses his mind now and then - if Xingqiu were to become self-aware as well and if Chongyun were to fall in love with the real him. How much more convenient would that be for him, wouldn’t it?
“But sadly, that’s not the case. Won’t be for a very long time.” Hu Tao whispers into his ear and gestures at the Guhua swordsman from a far distance. Sacrificial sword in hand, he summons a wave of hydro against a mob of pyro whopperflowers, the rest of the travelers party accompanying him.
“The more they use him, the less likely he is to regain consciousness.”
A chivalrous smirk spreads across Xingqiu’s features, dark blue bangs falling to the side as he finishes off with the last rain sword. Despite everything they’ve been through, warmth cultivates in Chongyun’s chest. This doesn’t signal the romantic love in-game Chongyun desires, it signals the joy he sees in witnessing Xingqiu battle. In the way his canon self is not allowed to under his parents guardianship.
In some soft moments before Xingqiu resetted, he had told Chongyun of these dilemmas. How constrained he felt under the guardianship of his family and how much he yearned to fly freely. In a way, they weren’t too far off.
“He looks happy, doesn’t he?” A pair of yellow jade shine like the stars and back.
“Oh! I know,” she mentions gleefully, eyes shining probably in the closest way to that of the audiences version of Chongyun, “We can do that thing the audience like to do. What was it they called it again, headcanons?”
“You’re strange. But fine, I’ll amuse you.” he smirks, “Sounds fairly fun.”
“I have a fair headcanon for myself.” he slides in.
“And what is that?”
“That I’m actually in love with Xingqiu.” Amused laughter leaves her lips, and the both of them bore their eyes into each other before Hu Tao starts questioning herself.
“As if that wasn’t fairly obvious… but does the real you like him?” He bites his tongue.
“Alright, I understand that I’m probably the only person you can talk to without screaming in embarrassment, but considering all that’s happened thus far, if you do, THAT is a reach. Unless you’re experiencing Stockholm Syndrome.” she coos, slightly rambling on but immediately regaining her composure. Chongyun can’t help but think she’s cute like this.
“Fine, I’m in love with you then.” he teases, poking his tongue out. Even in the Shadow, this was rather out of character for him - but he had been picking up a few habits from the director in front of him.
“Come back when you’re older,” Despite being glad that he’s merely joking, she pauses. “Now that I think about it, my age is meant to be ambiguous so I can be waifu-fied.”
“You’re right. You’re the oh-so glorious minor slash adult.” he replies wittily. Hu Tao keeps a straight face but nevertheless seems the slightest bit amused.
“Fine. I’m eighteen. You’re thirteen. I’m so sorry for seducing an oh so pitiful minor~” she teases.
“Maybe if we headcanon hard enough ourselves we can rid ourselves of the headcanons that change our canon personality.”
“That’s gonna be a bit hard,” she scoffs, “If it benefits the company and lets them profit… there’s nothing stopping them from changing our personalities to meet the standards of the audience.”
He doesn’t fail to notice the way she bites her lip. “Are you scared of that happening to yourself?” A pitiful glance is sent in his direction.
“No, I’m scared of what it will do to you. I can kind of see it happening, Chongyun. I know it’s driving you insane. I know I make jokes about it all the time— but you’re really the only friend I have in this place. I don’t want to lose you,”
And Chongyun can only continue to gaze at her, breathe hitching as he leans his back further against the tree they were resting on.
“I’m… honored.” It’s not a bad one, but silence stirs the atmosphere so thin you could hear a needle drop. Hu Tao’s isn’t not like her in-game personality, playful but serious when the time calls for it, but seeing this side of her still takes him by surprise.
“I know I was joking. But if we do theoretically get out of this hellhole, will you still be my friend even if you have the whole playable cast of this game at your feet?” he awkwardly interrupts the silence. No— that was probably a worse topic to bring up.
“That’s,” she ponders, “Complicated. I don’t know what you’re feeling. But if I consider the companionship I feel for you, I’ve wondered if it’s been born out of the fact that you’re the only other one who knows this world like I do or if it’s because I have a choice.” A choice . As if they had such freedom in this world.
“I don’t know what you hope to achieve either. It looks clear as day that the writers intend for you to have your endgame with Xingqiu. I’m not sure how your relationship with other characters will be affected due to that.”
The thought of dating, let alone official marrying Xingqiu, leaves his spine crawling. Maybe the marrying part is a bit far-fetched though, because Chongyun will never age— his destiny is to be the teenage boyfriend of another character irrelevant to the plotline who just happened to become popular. Even if he were to somehow elope with Hu Tao as a joke to defy this universes plees, it simply wouldn’t work.
“Say we get out of this loop, I would love to find that how a free life is for myself, to find out what world I could live in without the actions of the people I talk to being controlled by the pen or the keyboard.” Even this admission out of character for the real Hu Tao. His eyes light up at this.
“Me too.” He really hopes they live until that day too.