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She's dead. There was nothing I could do to stop it. But it's fine, I've seen people die before, it's not a big deal...then why does it hurt so much. It's not like she's someone I knew for years. We met a few months ago, I knew she was gonna die from the beginning. I was ready for it. I swore to myself that I wouldn't be too emotionally attached to her. Just what happened?
It was my fault, I let my guard down around her. I got too close to her. I should've just told her to ask me a different, more grantable, wish and ended it right there, but no, I made her stay with me. She clearly wanted nothing to do with me, but I forced her to stay. I knew what I'd get myself into, but it seemed my guilt of years of being alone spoke instead of my brain. I hate myself for it. I did this to myself. I can hear the Minamoto kid crying next to me, the sound was echoing through the quiet, dull bathroom. The bathroom that used to be so lively, but that was when she was there. We spent so much time here, us three. We went through so much together and time went so fast, we didn't even realize it. Was all that fun really worth it? I let my guard down and now look at what happened. I am truly an idiot.
No.1, Yako and Tsuchigomori-sensei were also here. All three were quiet, showing silent support. They weren't crying, of course. They didn't know her that well. No.1 was the saddest out of them. They weren't that close but they were classmates and were pretty good friends. You could see that he was on the verge of crying. I'm pretty sure he's mostly worried about his Ao-chan and how she's feeling but even he, deep down, cared quite a lot for her and her well-being.
I heard myself cry. I can't remember when was the last time I cried. Was it when I died? Was it before? Who is to tell. I felt as though a part of my body was stripped off me, like something was stolen from me. My head felt heavy. There was a ringing in my ear. I heard crying. It wasn't mine. It wasn't the boy's. It was her. The sound of her panic and pain was playing in my head on repeat. It hurt. I couldn't stop it. In the end, I had lost another important person because of my own selfishness and stupidity. I felt myself sinking. My body was trembling and my vision was watery with tears. I felt as though I had died all over again. I felt lost.
Some time went by, I was still crying. I'm sure I looked horrible. I couldn't bear to look in the mirror, I already knew what I'd see. A stupid, sad, selfish ghost boy. Made idiotic decisions even though he knew the consequences of what he was doing. I looked around the bathroom, thinking of all memories we had created together. The funny little adventures we encountered, and what we learned about each other along the way. As hurt as I am right now, I will always be grateful that I was able to meet her, spend time with her, and befriend her, even if it was only for a few months. Her last words kept repeating in my head, my heart ached the more I thought about it. I wish I could've responded when I had the chance. If only she knew.
"I love you too...Yashiro."