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he's learned a lot in reporting fencing.
not just about the sport which is a given, but the players. he's learned about the pressure, the anticipation, the desperation behind every swing, every movement planned. carefully set out to throw your opponent off and the happiness with every win. but, he has to say it's the pre-game rituals that have always been his favorite.
the constant moving or lack thereof.
just the routines themselves that seemed perfectly tailored to the one person who does it. whether it was kissing their palm or touching the handle. or going completely silent until their match was called and only let out all that built up adrenaline when they heard the buzzer sound. he once saw a girl in the japanese team, tap her helmet five times at the start of every round. her eyes closed and the counts were visible on his lips.
during his time, he wrote them all down. helping him with interview questions and even articles he needed to draft up. he always looked at it from a reporter's standpoint, how this little thing to everyone else could turn into an entire editorial for the world to see.
when he first learned that his girlfriend (god, he loves thinking it, saying it, everything) takes up a page in her diary just to cover it in smartly placed stickers before every competition, he learned it as a reporter. as an ex. diary in hand, he flipped through the pages. she'd date the match and place whatever inside, all of the stickers oddly fitting with each other even while having absolutely nothing to do with each other.
she'd later in red ink, write her wins or losses in the corner.
it's no different this time, she's only switched the book.
yi jin finds her sprawled out around the stickers when he steps into his apartment that might as well just be hers considering how much of her is flying around since they got back together—he loves it so much. careful, her tongue poking her cheek as she worked, humming along to a song playing from the scratchy radio that he has yet to replace.
it's ridiculously fitting.
a competitor's pre-game is a reflection of who they are. in every way possible na hee do is unexpected, she either surpasses or destroys any expectation.
one (most) may think she throws herself into last-minute drills before her competition. amping herself up which is where her signature screaming after the end of every round fits in.
but his girlfriend as surprising as it is enjoys her downtime. enjoys just lounging around without having to do anything strenuous even if it's just for a minute.
slipping off his shoes stopping to admire their shoes side by side for a second, he places his bag down and sits behind her. his legs on either side of her, she leans back into him they say nothing, his head on her shoulder just watching her. sometimes, he points to the next sticker she could choose from. she peels the piece off and waits for him to point to the part of the page she could stick it to and places it down.
them like this makes him realize "you know tomorrow is the first time i'll be watching your match as your boyfriend,"
"really? wait but you've.. really?" he looks down into her questioning eyes, a small pout playing on her lips.
"i was a reporter for the most part. i didn't get the chance to go as your boyfriend," in public while he wasn't a silent supporter, there was an invisible line both of them knew he couldn't cross at matches for the sake of his professionalism and their credibility. one wrong move and UBS gets flooded with headlines about bias and favoritism.
"but my national match with yu rim, it counts for something."
"i wasn't there. i actually get to be by your side this time," the smile that plays on her lips is picture-worthy. it's been so long since he's got to enjoy the simple parts of her. "you better cheer for me the loudest," she nudges.
he moves his legs already missing the warmth, "speaking of cheering," he's surprised she didn't find it. she's a snooper it's a known fact especially when it comes to stealing some of his clothes and then pretending she has no idea where they went.
opening his closet, he reaches into the back picking up the sign he made a couple of days ago. he can still feel the mess of glue he had made, yi jin was good at a lot of things. apparently, his sign work needed some fine-tuning. it's simple enough a picture of them, cut out to fit the corner and the words "i'll be with you till the very end. start to finish," a sword at the end, a homage to her fencing.
”best part, when the camera turns to me everyone what we are to each other,”
it was the glitter in the words that gave him the most hassle—all ji woong's idea who believed he was an expert in things like this.
"you made me a sign?" she mumbled, he feels like he's the sun shining when he smiles down at her.
"attempted more so, but yeah. i'm still finding glitter everywhere,"
hee do stands, placing down her diary and meeting him halfway. holding out her hands, she takes the board from him. without so much as a word, she observes the thing like it's a piece of art—genuine, forces you to stop and think—art. he took his time on it sure. used his favorite picture of them, the one from the beach, and added the letters in her favorite color but it wasn't art. it wasn't marvelous, but to her it is. it's every bit marvelous.
that's when it hits him, he's never done this before. and he knew that but it really hits him. she deserved something like this in the beginning when he was still. when they were still fresh, but his mistakes and his leaving... it tore everything away.
"i'm sorry.." he says sadly. tilting her head to the side, she raises an eyebrow at him.
"i mean it's not the best craftsmanship but it will do," hee do jokes.
she takes the sign from his hands, setting it down on the floor. "what are you apologizing for?"
not being there.
leaving you.
not making you something as simple as a damn sign to show how much i'll always support you.
my actions never being enough.
the self-deprecating thoughts churn, mixing in and plucking off any other looming thoughts coming to push them out. "so much. i just.. you deserve more than what i gave you in the beginning,"
"you gave me the feeling of first love even with the feeling of a break-up, i wouldn't change that. you showed me love unconditionally and maybe we didn't know exactly what we were doing but you gave me so much."
"you're too good to me," too good for me.
she's forgiving and reckless and in the best way possible understanding even when he doesn't deserve it. she takes herself out of the equation and forgives him time and time again.
he doesn't deserve it.
he's trying to deserve it.
"no, i just love you. if we spend all of our fine reminding each other of what we didn't do or didn't say. how would we try again?"
moving the stray pieces of hair covering her face, yi jin holds her face in her hands and steps closer to her.
he's nothing short of a bleeding heart.
loves her like an open wound, faithful to a fault.
—
she places one last sticker in her journal before closing it. walking out as her name is called, the adrenaline in her blood pumps like she's intoxicated only ten times better than the feeling alcohol could ever give her.
the crowd rumbles, she's been studying the girl across her for months. studying her every move, she's fast and she's smart but at the very same time, she doesn't do well with her own moves used against her.
her helmet shines with fifty stars and thirteen stripes when she steps out.
hee do looks around, the seats are flooding with people. her eyes look for one specific person amongst the crowd.
she finds him at the very top, sign over his head, and the grin she wants to frame playing on his lips. opening his mouth, he joins the resounding cheers.
she takes a moment to see if he'll catch her eyes as she holds her helmet up (he does, he always does). his eyes shine, it's been so long since she could feel his support as tangible as it was now. a different type of energy runs through her when she recognizes it.
whether she wins or loses.. start to finish he's promising to stay.
he's promising to be there.
the buzzer sound and she pulls down her helmet.
en garde! prêts? allez!