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“The Winchesters lived here all these years and didn’t have a garden,” Claire grumbled. “What makes you think we need one?”
“The Winchesters were great hunters, good with research, excellent marksmen, they had a lot going for them… but in some ways, they were idiots,” Patience said with a grin. “I’d have thought Sam at least would want an herb garden just for access to spell components, but Dean… the man was absolutely ridiculous and may have just said no to a garden on general principles. If Sam didn’t have a garden, he couldn’t get any bright ideas about growing their own rabbit food. Whether that was literal and Sam decided he wanted a rabbit, or just wanting to make Dean eat it.”
“Dean would’ve loved the rabbit once he got it,” Claire said with a snort as she imagined the fight over the garden. “Yeah, fair point, but you know I’m not letting you feed me rabbit food either, right? What exactly are you wanting to grow?”
“Mostly herbs, for spells. Tomatoes because storebought just don’t have the same flavor. Peppers because they’re something green that you’ll actually eat. Figure that’s a good start, and if it goes well and I like it, we can expand the garden from there, right? Oh, and Alex wants to put in some flowers, just because she likes them.”
“Fine. One promise, though: you will not put in zucchini. I know it’s supposed to be, like, the easiest thing in the world to grow, but then we have to either find a way to eat it all or give it away, and I don’t have any faith in our ability to do either. I hate zucchini.”
“I’m not putting any in, but no promises on Alex. You know her. I tell her you said no, she’ll sneak some in just to mess with you.” Unfortunately true, Claire had to agree. “I tell her I don’t want any, she might believe it or she might assume I’m covering for you and double down to mess with both her sisters. So…”
“Even if she plants it, I’m not eating any. I don’t care what you grind it up and try to sneak it into.” Claire looked at the plans. “How much of this work are you expecting me to do?”
“Help us clear and dig out the beds, put together the ground cover to keep out weeds and the walls to mark the garden beds, once we’ve got it set up you never even have to look at it if you don’t want to.” Patience smirked. “Okay, you might have to look at it just because it’s part of the Bunker and therefore part of your home, but you know what I mean. Alex and I will handle all the planting and harvesting and weeding and debugging.”
It had taken years before Jody and Alex were able to convince Sam to come back to the Bunker, as a guest. It was only little Dean asking to see where his father and uncle had lived for years that he finally gave in.
Sam grinned ruefully as he looked at the garden. “Dean would never have let me and Cas do this. I tried mentioning it a couple times, but he always said we didn’t have the kind of lives that would let us manage something like a garden. Plus, he didn’t want to eat rabbit food.”
“But we have a garden at home,” Dean said. “You like rabbit food.”
“Yeah, well, your uncle Dean didn’t, and he did most of the cooking around here,” Sam said. He grinned at Patience. “How bad is Claire about your garden?”
“Not bad at all, really.” Patience looked around and added in a whisper, “Don’t tell her, but for the past two years, anything we can hide zucchini in, we do. She loves it, said that a meatloaf that was almost more zucchini than meat was the best meatloaf she’d ever had. But if we don’t hide it, just serve the zucchini as-is or in something identified as zucchini-containing, she absolutely refuses to eat it.”
Dean scowled. “Dad says that lying to people about food is bad and you shouldn’t mess with what people are putting into their bodies. You can make people sick that way.”
“And he’s right,” Patience said with an apologetic look at Sam. “We would never do this if it weren’t Claire, and if I didn’t know that my wife is not allergic to zucchini and even likes it when she doesn’t know it’s zucchini. Tricking people into eating things is not good, and you shouldn’t do it. I know that your dad used to have trouble with your uncle doing that to him, telling him stuff was not real meat when it was.”
Sam put a hand on his son’s shoulder. “Don’t do it to anyone, okay? But in this case, it’s not that bad. Come on, let’s go see if Alex could use some help watering the flowers, huh?”
When Sam and Dean left to return home, Alex found Patience. “Second thoughts about Operation Get Claire Some Vitamins, huh?”
“Kid’s got a point,” Patience had to admit. “We’re not gonna make her sick, but…”
“Oh, come off it,” Claire interrupted. “Look, I’m not an idiot, okay? I know we have zucchini plants, I know the zucchinis aren’t just rotting on the vine, who the hell are you gonna dump that many zucchini off on? I know you’ve been sneaking it into food here and there, and it’s… it’s good for me, okay? I can swallow my pride – a lot more easily than the stupid zucchini, at least. If I know it’s there, it makes me gag. I can’t help it. But if I don’t know it’s there, it’s fine! So just keep sneaking it in things and not telling me, because you have my express permission to do it. Conscience clear, babe? Sorry, Alex, I know that takes some of the fun out of it for you, but…”
“Messing with you with your permission is fun, too, just not as fun. In this case, well worth it.” Alex handed Claire a zucchini. “Here. Go play with this one.”