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Sam looked up as the blanket wrapped around him, eyes going wide in shock when it wasn’t Dean or Castiel providing it. “Sully? You’re here?”
“I’m here. I hate to say it, but I need the help of hunters… and I could feel that you needed a friend, too. I know we fought, and you wished you could unmake me up, but can I still explain what I need help with? And if you’d be comfortable with it, I can listen to whatever it is you need in exchange.”
Sam stared in disbelief. Sully was imaginary. That was the whole thing with imaginary friends; they didn’t really exist. They certainly didn’t show up decades later to ask for help and act like they were worried about having the right to even ask. Even if his mind was going, he could at least hear Sully out for old time’s sake. What could it hurt? And if this was, in fact, real, and he could help Sully… his old friend, if real, was one of the few people who had ever only ever tried to help Sam. “Okay… what do you need?”
“First off, let me explain. I’m a Zanna. We’re a type of creature that helps kids. We find children who are lonely or scared or suffering and help them cope until they can find better ways and no longer need us. Like with you, and the loneliness once Dean started hunting with your dad and you were always being left behind… I may not have been able to save you from this life, but in the end, it was your call. I couldn’t force you to leave, and you chose to stay.”
“Yeah… and there have been times I’ve regretted that, but Sully, this is my life. This is what I chose. And as it turns out… I’m good at it, and I can be happy in this life. I just need… but right now, we’re talking about what you need.” He paused and looked at Sully, watching the initial happiness fade. “One thing I think you need to hear is that you did the right thing. The one thing I have never had in my life, the thing that’s making me feel as badly as I do right now, is people taking away my right to choose things for myself. You never did that to me. Even thinking my choice was self-destructive and wrong, you let me make that choice.”
“Of course. We do what our kids need from us. That’s who we are, as Zanna,” Sully said. “So here’s the thing – I’m not out there imaginary friending anymore, because after you, I felt like a failure. We need Zanna who check in on the imaginary friends and make sure that things are going well and that the Zanna has a way to get their needs met too. One of mine missed our checkin yesterday, and when I went to find Sparkles, he’d been…” Sully choked up. “He’d been killed. And the kid found him about the same time I did.”
Sam got to his feet and hugged Sully. “That must have been incredibly difficult for you to see. How’s the kid?”
“Traumatized even worse than she had been before Sparkles started working with her,” Sully forced out. “That’s why I need hunters. We need to catch whatever or whoever did this before they can strike again and traumatize another kid in a way that we can’t help fix.”
“Yeah. I can see that.” Sam hesitated. Right now, the last thing he wanted to do was explain Sully to Dean; things were too raw between them. Castiel? “How do Zanna get along with angels?”
“It depends a lot on the angels. For the most part, we don’t really interact. What we do rarely has anything to do with their business, unless it’s comforting a kid whose parent has disappeared to become the vessel for an angel who’s walking the Earth.”
“All right. I can’t work this case with Dean, not right now, which I can explain on the drive, so I’d like to ask Castiel to come along to help. He’s an angel, but he’s not exactly part of the Host right now, and he’s working on borrowed Grace.”
“That’s not good for him. I have no objection to working with him if he doesn’t mind working with me, so it’s up to you.”
Castiel confirmed Sully’s explanation of Zanna, and agreed to come to help Sam’s friend. Once they were underway, Sam glanced at Sully in the rearview mirror. “So about why Dean’s not here… it’s a really long story, but, uh, last spring I started working on the Trials to seal off Hell. I was nearly finished when Dean convinced me not to go through with the last stage, because I would die. And then I nearly died anyway. I should be dead, but Dean tricked me into letting an angel possess me.”
“Not me,” Castiel clarified. “One I told him he could trust, but it turned out that I was wrong about it. The angel identified himself as Ezekiel, who was an honorable and trustworthy angel, but turned out to be someone else. Gadreel.”
“Gadreel quickly came to regret his decision – after being in my head, he realized just how big a violation what he had done was for me. I’ve been possessed by so many things, if I’d known what Dean was planning when he told me he needed me to say yes, I would have died instead. Gadreel and I started getting to know each other in my dreams, but… like with you, I thought he was just someone my brain had invented to cope with some of the trauma. We, uh… I don’t know if the real him is anything like my dream version, but I fell in love with the literal guy of my dreams. He loved me, too, which is why as soon as he was sure I was strong enough to survive him leaving… he told me the truth of what was going on, why I was having moments where I lost time or couldn’t trust my senses, apologized for his role in the mess, and left. So now he’s out there, still hiding from the other angels because he’s supposed to be locked away for failing to guard the Garden of Eden, and I don’t have a way to reach him to offer protection while we get to know each other properly.”
“What you were saying about your choices being taken away earlier…” Sully reached up and put a hand on Sam’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Dean took away your choice and your bodily autonomy, and while he did it thinking it was in your best interests, it was wrong of him. Which is why you can’t work with him – you’re hurting from that betrayal, as well as from losing someone you had come to love, and losing your trust in that person because while they at least didn’t know why what they were doing was so bad, they did hurt you. I’m so sorry, Sam. Aside from listening, is there anything I can do to help?”
Sam shook his head, heart swelling with love for his old friend. No judgment, just validation and a sincere offer to help however he could. It was exactly what he needed. “You know I’m not a kid anymore, right? You don’t owe me anything.”
“No, I don’t. That doesn’t mean I don’t still care about you and want to see you be the happiest and best you can be.” Sully smiled at Sam. “Sam, you are amazing, and you deserve to be treated with respect and to be happy. If you had a way to reach Gadreel, would you want to talk to him, or do you need space?”
“I…” Sully was a magical creature. He might have a way to track Gadreel down. “I at least want to talk to him, to let him know that I forgive him and that if he needs protection I’m willing to help him out. Dean should be good with that, and if he’s not, he’s…”
“Outvoted,” Castiel said. “Gadreel saved your life, Sam. While I regret how he went about it, I can’t regret that it happened, and I am happy to help protect him as well.”
“Even after he didn’t extend you the same courtesy.” Sam gave a soft huff. “I get why he made Dean make you leave, but… he owes you an apology.” Castiel nodded his agreement. “Anyway, after we’ve figured out what happened to Sparkles and taken care of things, if you can find Gadreel… I would definitely appreciate it.”
The Zanna-killer turned out to be a human, who had lost her twin sister to an accident that she blamed Sully for. Sully was willing to let her kill him, if that’s what she needed to heal, but Sam and Castiel were both able to share their stories with revenge and convince her that killing Sully wouldn’t help her the way she thought it would and would leave her in a bad place.
Not long after Sam and Castiel got back to the Bunker and explained to Dean that they’d had a case, Sam’s phone rang. He walked away from a still-upset Dean, leaving Castiel to calm him down and explain Sully, Zannas, and why Sam couldn’t work this one with Dean while he answered the call.
“Sam? I met the most surprising fellow, who even more surprisingly wanted me to call you.”
Sam’s heart thudded. “Gadreel?”
“Yes. I apologize; of course you wouldn’t recognize this phone number or my voice. This is Gadreel.”
“It’s good to hear from you. How are you holding up? I know that even with the infighting, you’re being hunted… do you have somewhere safe to hide?”
“I’m… keeping ahead of my pursuers,” Gadreel said. “That’s about the best I can hope for. They don’t know my vessel, so as long as I can sense them before they find me, I’ll be all right.”
“Come back to the Bunker,” Sam said. “We can protect you here. Now that we know you’re Gadreel and not Ezekiel, you don’t have a problem with Castiel, do you?”
“No, other than hiding two high-priority targets in one place being a bad idea, and makes the target on you and your brother that much bigger and more obvious.” Gadreel cleared his throat. “Sam, you owe me nothing. I saved your life, but I violated you in the process and you have every right to leave me to my fate.”
“A good friend reminded me that love isn’t about what we owe each other. I don’t know if you’re like who you were in my dreams of you, but I want to find out. And if you are… I love that guy, Gadreel. He’s family. And family looks out for each other. Home is with your family, Gadreel. Come home.”
“And Dean and Castiel…?”
“Castiel agrees, and also agrees that we don’t care how Dean feels about it.”
There was a long pause. “I’ll be there tonight. Whether I stay, well… we’ll see how things go. Thank you, Sam.”