Chapter Text
With the letting go of the past, not necessarily mistakes, but things that could not be prevented, things that could not be helped, it came along with a set that it could replace.
For there were still tethers of a spider web that would continue to stay when other parts would fall or break, from the harsh winds or the spider itself becoming clumsy. Strings on the outside of the web that it crafted and then broke, were still attached to other strings, which led to even more strings, and then more, and more.
Faults and breaks in life only lead to other things, and just because that is what led you there, it does not mean that it is the same as the fault itself.
But was it so fair to say that, even when you did not want to let go?
What if you did not want to let go of the strings that had broken?
What if you refused to believe that it had broken at all?
…
This sucked.
This whole thing fucking sucked.
The car you were in drove further away from where your life had been happily centered around for so long. You felt every ounce of your once positive mentality drain away from you every minute longer you stayed still, all your energy easily going with it.
You stared at the head of h/c hair in front of you in the driver seat, before looking away from your mom and back out the window. You didn’t really want your main focus to be on her at the moment anyway. This was her fault, and if it were up to you, you wouldn’t be sitting in this car in the first place. But now that you were, opening the door and jumping out sounded like a really great idea.
The music in your headphones from your walkman blocked out any other sound that happened to take place from around you.
Your mom might have said something, but you didn’t want to listen. You’d heard enough already.
You wanted to look around through all the windows, but most of them were blocked by piles of bags and suitcases, so the only one you could look out of was the one by your side. It wasn’t even that good of a view. Just dying grass that looked like it stretched on for ages.
Whatever god existed up in those damned heavens must have been getting off to your pain, because then your mom was yelling your name, trying to get your attention. Again.
“Y/N!” you took off your headphones as she stared at you through the mirror.
“Yeah?”
“We’re almost there. I’ll show you what room we’re in first, but make sure you help me unpack the car, okay, hun? I need your muscles to carry the heavy stuff.”
You sighed, swirling your tongue around in your mouth and poking the inside of your cheek with it in annoyance.
“Of course, mom.”
She said your name once again before you could put back on your headphones.
What god could possibly be getting off to this? Satan?
“Y/N, honey, don’t be so stressed. You’re a handsome guy, and you’re cool. You’ll make friends so easily.”
You didn’t respond.
“The girls will probably be all over you, too.”
“Mom!”
“I’m just saying!”
Why the fuck was she concerned about who was all over you? Weirdo. You were her son, not her best friend whomst she could gossip about sex lives with. It’s not like you wanted just girls ‘all over’ you, anyway. Not that she knows that, or ever will.
Trees started to spot the plain fields outside your window. You still hadn’t really looked at her.
The growing vegetation in your view still did not make it any more interesting, or make you feel any less shitty. Everything seemed so plain and dull. The trees were the exact same shape kids draw when they’re learning to use a pencil. You still wanted to jump out of the car.
Nockfell. Was that even the name? You couldn’t remember. But apparently you were going to be living there with your mom and three cats for a while. Curse her and her job as a photographer. What was so interesting about this area? So far everything seemed so damn boring. The hell is there to photograph?
If she was planning on taking photos of the ‘scenery’ and ‘nature’, she might as well have taken a photo of her ass and submitted it to the company she worked for. Same thing. They wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
And then some buildings caught your eye as they passed your window, the car clearly in the town now, and you almost screamed.
They were even worse than the damn trees.
God, you missed your friends. Hey mom, you wanted to say, is the car door locked right now? Because I’m about to open it and go back home.
All you had were your three cats. How sad.
You might as well let them go off into the wild, because there was no way you were going to let them live in the shitty ass apartment building your mom just parked in front of.
“ Mom ,” you said, voice strained as you stared at the apartments. “I want to go back home.”
She turned off the car and took the keys out, opening her door.
“Don’t be dramatic. You’ll get used to it. You have the cats.”
Fucker.
She was acting like you had no reason to be this upset about moving.
This was not true. You did have a reason. And she was part of it.
But maybe thinking about it right now wasn’t the best thing. There was no getting out of this shit hole now. So you opened the door, like you had wanted to for the entire car ride, except, it was not on a seemingly moving ground anymore. You stood, stable and standing upright.
You heard your cats meow from the trunk, and you made a beeline to get them out of the stuffy space immediately.
…
The overwhelming pungent smell of the buildings and rooms was so thick in the air you could almost see it everywhere you looked. Inhaling through your nose made you visualise yellow mist in the air. The place was absolutely disgusting.
Maybe it was just the hallway, you hoped, because your mom was still at the front, getting the keys to your apartment. Two cages at either side of your feet sat on the ground. Inky and Hamlet shared one. If Buffy shared one with either one of them, he would just attack them.
And then finally, she had the god forsaken keys, and turned around to show them to you proudly. She did so, and then snarled at you.
“Did you really need to grab the cats first? When we haven’t even been in the room yet?”
“Is that even a question?”
She sighed, patting your shoulder, then fiddling with the keys as she made her way down the hall. You picked up the cats and followed her.
You hadn’t seen any stairs in the building yet, but you both reached an elevator, and you decided that maybe it didn’t matter that you hadn’t found stairs, for that would have been harder to carry the cages up in anyway. It would have been hard to carry any of the luggage up.
So even if being trapped in a small confined space with the strong smell of the building was detestable, you put up with it, for the sake of your so-called ‘muscles’.
The elevator door opened, and you stared at what you now saw clearly and undeniably, even if you had not expected it.
For some reason. Of course other people lived here.
You just hadn’t thought you’d see other guys your age. Especially not with cool hair and clothes. And mask, apparently.
One had long brown hair, the other mid-length electric blue. They stared at you and your mom, glancing briefly at your cats.
“Nice mask,” you said to the guy with blue hair.
Brown-haired guy snickered under his breath.
“Thank you,” blue-guy said. “It’s a prosthetic.”
You blinked at him in surprise. “Sick.”
Your mom nudged your shoulder.
“Honey, this is our floor. We need to get through.”
Nodding at the two guys, you politely walked past them, mom trailing behind you.
“They seemed nice,” she said when the both of you were further away enough so that they couldn’t hear you. Not that it mattered. They were likely going down the elevator now anyway.
You hummed in response to what she said, letting her lead the way as she led you to your apartment.
Strangely, it was a nerve-wracking thing, listening to the way the keys clicked in the door as it unlocked. Because among that, behind what was closed away were rooms that you would be spending a certain amount of time in. Who knew what would happen in this place, what this city would show you, and what you would bring back here from it.
You weren’t saying you liked it, though. It still smelled.
The kitchen was to the left, the lounge immediately in view as you stepped inside. The wall had doors along it, leading to different rooms. You had yet to find out what was what. Which was which.
“Which one’s my room?” you asked. That was all you were concerned about right now.
“Give me a second, will you?”
“My arms are about to fall off. We need to stop feeding Buffy and Hamlet so much.”
“Buffy attacks them for their food, and Hamlet eats rats. You would know that.”
“Buffy is also just a ball of condensed fluff. Mom, I swear to g-“
“Your room is the one on the far right of the wall just here, jesus.”
You walked right over to it, pushing the door open with your foot. You were pleasantly surprised with the size of the room. It was relatively large. Still disgusting again, though.
The cat's cages sat in the middle of the room that was now yours. They stayed there for a bit, as gold and orange light leaked through the windows later on, and as boxes and bags piled up in each room.
They were let out once their beds were set up in your room. But of course, as they always have done, they cuddled up with you on your mattress. Even if it was currently just on the floor.
They were kind of your only source of comfort right now. This was all so unfamiliar, and you knew that you would hardly ever get comfortable with it. A piece of your heart would always be back at your old home. No matter how used to this place you would get.
And starting a new school, fuck. You hated that thought. It was your second year of high school, and you would have rather graduated at your other school the next year. But apparently not.
So you were stuck here. And all you could do was simply put up with it.
You sighed deeply, glancing around at your dark room. Inky nudged your cheek, his fur blending in with the black void surrounding you.