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He sobbed on stage, feeling the onslaught of his emotions almost roaring at his ears.
Zee whispered, "you're doing fine. You're doing great, and I'm proud how much you've come this far. Thank you for being with us, and with me. So don't cry, you deserve to have the biggest smile right now." All those sweet words while patting his face and head, and trying to wipe his tears without ruining Nunew's make-up.
A staff finally rushed to stage holding the a tissue box, looking frazzled and about to be at her wit's end because Nunew's tears are not stopping, and there may be snot running down his nose by now. Zee grabs a couple of tissues, his hands frantic, and starts patting them down on Nunew's face. Nunew laughs at the realization that Zee might be really panicking because he hadn't cried this much before, so he grabs a couple tissues himself... and sees Zee's tears running down his face as well. Nunew laughs at the silliness of all their crying and pats down Zee's face.
The event ended an hour later.
Nunew's heart still isn't calming down. This time, with excitement and gratefulness. For the cast, his friends, the staff, his manager, and Hia. Hia Zee who is now absently caressing his hand.
Nunew absently smiles, and squeezes the older's hands. Zee looks at him in question, concern behind his eyes, looking like he expects Nunew to cry again, but Nu just smiles. A closed smile that reaches his ears and his eyes turns to crescents. Zee laughs a little and thinks, he is really cute.
Their shuttle finally arrives. Zee gets on after Aof, and Nunew gets on last, closing the door behind him. When the shuttle finally moves, Nunew leans his head like usual on Zee's shoulder. But he's not sleepy. He could be anything but sleepy.
Zee, too, feels more awake than he had before. Even if he only had 3 hours of sleep earlier, his hand still shakes with excitement from earlier.
A few minutes of being stuck with Bangkok's traffic, Nunew grabs Zee's hand. The other man startles, not expecting Nu to still be awake, so he turns his head on the boy leaning on his shoulder. Nunew doesn't say anything however, just plays with his hands for awhile. Zee feels goosebumps running down his arm as the younger plays with hand, so he grabs it instead and interlocks their fingers. Nunew stops at that, before caressing their interlocked fingers with his other hand. Zee feels another wave of fondness for the younger, thinking, how could someone be this adorable? He thought people like Nu only exists in books and movies, but it's actually a real person. More over, it's a person closest to him. The older can't try to wrap his head around it. He wouldn't even believe it if Nunew isn't here with him right now.
Several minutes pass by. Everybody must have been really exhausted. He could hear the soft snores all around him. Even Aof, who's always on his phone every second, is sound asleep beside him. All except Nunew. It must be because Nunew sleeps in his shoulder so often that he just knows when he's asleep or not. But it looks like they're both more awake than when the day started.
"Nu..." he whispers as he nudges the boy.
"Hm," came a soft response.
"Why are you still awake? You must be tired, you only got two hours of sleep earlier."
"You too, Hia. You didn't sleep longer than that either," Nunew says in a soft voice.
"Ok... what are you thinking about?" Zee asks instead since it looks like they aren't sleeping in this ride.
"Just... just how grateful I am, I think."
"Me too."
"No, Hia. How grateful I am about you. You know that, right?"
"...how could I not? You said it to everyone how you feel attached to me already." Zee laughs a little as he says this, feeling his cheeks redden as he remembers how cute Nunew looked when he said that.
"Ah- Hia~ don't tease me," the younger whines softly as he looks up at Zee, his head still leaning on his shoulder.
Suddenly, they realize that their faces are really close. Zee doesn't have the urge to pull away, and Nunew doesn't either. Their interlocked hands are still between them, and they just... stare into each other. Breathing the same air and not pulling away. Nunew looks at Zee with so much adoration. Zee knows Nu idolizes him and admires him, maybe even has a crush on him, but it's a different feeling when Nunew stares at him this close, and he feels all of it. His heart just melts at the thought this beautiful boy having strong feelings for him. He may fool himself thinking Nunew wouldn't dare go cross that boundary with him, but it's getting hard to be in-denial while looking at him straight in the eye.
Zee's breath hitches a little. He wants to kiss New so bad. He wants to act on this overflowing fondness, and dare he say, love, that he feels for the younger right now. Consequences be damned. He asks with his eyes and slowly stares down on his lips. Just a few inches. If he leans forward just a little, he'll kiss the younger. He tries to get permission with his eyes, daring not to speak it aloud for fear that this moment between them will break. Nunew stares at him, his mouth opens a little, and nods. Like he knows what exactly Zee is thinking to do, and he wants it so much too.
Zee's heart pounds loudly as he leans forward, he sees Nunew close his eyes slowly, waiting for his lips. Their noses touch, and Zee closes his eyes. He's about to do it, he's about to kiss Nunew in real life. Not as Kuea, not while the cameras are rolling, not when they're goofing around on set, but inside a dark shuttle while everybody's asleep and Bangkok's skyline outside.
He brings his chin down and they kiss. Nunew automatically responding to his lips. It was a peck, then two, then three, and Zee could feel Nunew opening his mouth. He slips his tongue gently, nibbling on Nunew's plump lips, and tasting them again and again.
They pulled back at the car stopping so suddenly. Aof was shaken awake, and he looks around, glances at Zee and Nunew looking at him like deer caught in headlights. Aof doesn't question them, preferring not to pry and just thanking Buddha he didn't see whatever was happening before.
"What's wrong?" Aof asks the driver.
"Sorry. There was a crash on the 4th lane, and they stopped this lane so we could let the cars from 4th lane pass, I'm sorry. Were you sleeping?"
"No, it's okay," Aof responds and sits back.
"I thought we're at home already," Nat chirps from the row behind.
"It's alright, get some more sleep," Max gently says to their youngest. Zee looks back at them and sees Max widening his eyes at him. Zee widens his eyes back. Oh shit, he totally saw them kissing, didn't he? Max makes a panicked expression as he alternately looks at Zee and the back of Nunew's head.
"What the fuck!" he could see Max mouthing at him while he rubs a sleepy Nat's arm to coax him to sleep more.
Zee could just stare at him, mildly panicking, because oh dear Buddha, somebody saw and he's going to have to explain this. When he doesn't even know what this is, yet. Nunew distracts him from panicking by grabbing his other hand that he's not holding and puts it on top of his head.
Zee looks at the younger's head and chuckles, "sleepy?" He asks. He could faintly see a smile on Nunew's face.
"Yes, please pat my head, Hia (ka)," he pleads cutely. And Zee's heart clenches again. They were just kissing so passionately earlier, how could Nunew go back to being this adorable so fast?
"Okay, get some rest," he whispers and he kissed the top of his head before patting it softly.
The shuttle moves again. Zee's hand still interlocked with Nunew, while the other hand softly caressing his head. He's so down bad. He's so... in love. As much as that word and that feeling scares him, there's no denying it anymore. He looks back again to Max who is still staring at them in disbelief.
"Are you okay?" Max mouthed.
"Yes," he mouthed the word back.
He truly means it. Right here, he can't be anything but fine. Not when he has his world in his hands. And they're going to talk about this in the morning or when they finally get some sleep. But he's not afraid. He knows Nunew wants to take that step with him, and he feels the same way. And that's enough for now.