Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"You got your things?"

"Yep, all here."

"Your passport? Your ticket?"

"Yes, all here."

"How about your jug? Oh wait, they don't allow liquids more than 100ml. How about your—"

"P'Max!" Nat stops the elder from fussing. Max stops his pacing, laughing a little. Why is he nervous? He shakes the thought off and puts his hand on Nat's shoulder.

"Take care there, okay?" Max says, and Nat looks up at him, his eyes smiling.

"You sound like I'm gonna be away for a month," Nat teases him.

"...I really want to come with you," Max says, his thumb rubbing on Nat's shoulder.

"I know, P'. We would have gone together... well! We'll go next time!" Nat says, obviously trying to cheer him up.

"I promise," Max smiles at him. Three years of being Nat's pair and he still finds him almost unbearably adorable.

"Okay, um..."

"I'll walk you to your siblings," Max says, dropping his hand from Nat’s shoulder and smiling softly at him.

They walked to the entrance together. Him pulling Nat’s luggage while Nat carries his usual hand bag. Nat’s siblings see them before they do. Max and Nat’s siblings greeted each other with amicable air. Nat’s sister adores them together while his brother is polite enough but never really engages in conversation with him beyond polite pleasantries. He understands. It must be hard to look at his baby brother being paired with a guy 9 years older.

“Let’s go?” Nat’s brother asks after greeting Max with a wai. Max reluctantly slides Nat’s luggage to him, feeling heavy on his stomach already.

“Yes,” Nat answers, sounding hesitant. He looks at Max and holds out his hand, the other grabs it immediately and interlocks their fingers.

“I’ll bring back chocolates, and that weird-sounding-name of a rum you mentioned,” Nat says slowly, like he’s trying to come up with more things to say so he could stay with Max longer.

The other adores him for this. He knows Nat is hesitant to go as well, for his sake, because of his stupid visa that got delayed. He groans in his mind. All that planning of spending Songkran together in Switzerland, wasted. At least the younger is still going with his family so he could have enough fun for the both of them. 

“Of course. Make sure to bundle yourself properly, okay? You can’t be sick,” Max chides and Nat laughs a little in response.

“Yes, Phi.”

Nat catches up with his siblings and walks together with them. He looks back at Max and sees him watching their backs, smiling somberly and– and he doesn’t know why but his feet run the short distance on their own and hugs a surprised Max. He can feel the older inhaling and pulling him to an even tighter hug, like he knows the reason why Nat ran back and hugged him. Of course he does. Right now, he doesn’t even see or hear anyone. It’s just him and the older man's comfortable warmth.

They stayed silent for a few seconds, before Max whispers, “don’t miss me too much, alright?”

“...I miss you now,” the younger responds, his voice muffled on Max’s shoulder. He could feel his hands tingling from the feeling of wanting to hold on to Nat longer, one more minute, one more second.

Nat suddenly pulls back, his arms still around Max’s neck, and looks at him for a moment before—

Max could feel his thoughts shut down when Nat kissed his cheek. It could not even be called a cheek. Nat kisses him near his lips, and Max just stares at him in both surprise and… relief?

“See you in a week,” Nat says, his words rushed. He hurriedly tries to get away from the embrace when Max catches his hand and interlocks their fingers again like earlier. The younger widens his eyes in panic. He wants the ground to open and swallow him up in his embarrassment.

“I miss you too, now,” Max says quietly, the words just for him. He pulls their interlocked fingers and kisses the back of his hand tenderly. His eyes staring straight at Nat, and Nat cannot look away.

His phone rings, and the world starts moving again. Sounds enter his ears, and he notices people looking in their direction. Nat fumbles to get his phone, and Max unwillingly lets his hand go.

“So… are you just going to stand there and make-out? Or are we actually getting on this plane?” Nat’s sister asks, her voice sounding like she’s about to laugh. Nat whips his head at his siblings’ direction and sees them standing where he left them. His older brother frowning slightly and tapping his shoe on the floor impatiently, and his older sister smiling widely at them, doing a thumbs-up gesture.

“I—I need to go,” Nat says hurriedly, talking to Max, but his phone is still on his ears. He doesn’t wait for a response, his ears are burning enough already. He catches up to his siblings and pulls on his older sister’s arms. His older brother immediately follows him, not before glaring pointedly at Max, but he doesn’t say anything else. His older sister, half dragging her feet while laughing, looking entirely too amused by what she just witnessed. She looks back at Max for a second and winks. The man snorts in amusement. 

Max looks at his tingling hands for a moment and puts them in his pockets as he watches Nat drag his sister around to the check-in lane, his ears obviously red even from where he’s standing. 

Only one thought came screaming in his mind, he just had to say it aloud.

“Fuck, he’s so cute.”

Max sighs heavily as he gets in his car. A week without his Nat, huh? He removes his face mask, starts the car, and leans back on the driver’s seat.

Wait, what?

He reels in a bit as he realizes what he just called Nat in his head. His Nat? Really? 

He has always seen Nat as someone like a little brother, a younger friend he has to take care of. They have been paired when Nat was only 16, turning 17, but nonetheless, he was very young and shy and obviously unsure of being paired with someone much older. And Max, as much as he was happy to be working, was also uncomfortable with being paired with a minor. It’s a 9-year age gap, and Nat was still in high school at the time. Gradually, he got used to it. Nong Nat is cute, has good manners, and everybody adores him. Max understands. After all, he has not missed a single birthday of Nat without preparing a special gift for him, and as much Nat loves to be spoiled, he also takes care of Max in his own way. 

Nat has always tried to put Max’s comfort above his own. The younger always tries to advise him first when he’s about to do or say something for fan service and vice versa. Max has always found it sweet. He had even introduced Nat to some of his past lovers, and of course they all liked Nat. There’s even one ex-girlfriend in particular who ships them both faithfully that she still messages him and Nat occasionally and congratulates them if there’s an upcoming endorsement or acting gig. Nat and Max’s relationship has always been about mutual respect and trust.

He doesn’t know exactly when but nowadays, he noticed that he cherishes Nat more. He looks forward to his morning text messages, their playful teasing banter on set, their comfortable bonding time where Nat studies for university while Max reads lines to him, their conversations on what their future could look like, their movie dates, their sleep-overs, and so much more. His hand tingles again, his pulse aching at this revelation—well, not really a revelation. He knows he loves Nat Natasit. He just didn’t know he was in-love with him.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed—and his hand is still tingling god damn it—he calls the only man who could understand him with this particular realization. The call rings and rings but there’s no answer. He remembers that his friend might have a schedule today. He heaves another sigh and is about to drive when his phone rings loudly.

Zee’s name appears on the screen and Max answers the call, “hey, Zee.”

“Hey. I was surprised when Nu told me you called. What's up?” He asks, Max hearing the sound of people talking in the background.

“Are you available to talk? I could call you back,” he says unsurely, feeling bad since his friend looked like he was in the middle of a schedule.

“No, no, it’s okay. It just finished, actually. I just had my makeup removed so Nu had my phone. So what is it?”

“...I don’t really know how to say this.”

“Why? What's wrong?"

"No, it's nothing, I—"

"You're kinda scaring me, where are you?"

"At the airport."

"Airport? Why are you– oh. You dropped off Nat at the airport?"

"Yeah…"

"So what's wrong? Did he get delayed? He hasn't texted me or Nu yet, though."

"No, it's not that."

"Then, what is it? Did you do something?"

"Well… he kissed my cheek."

"Nat did? That's not really surprising. You guys do that all the time."

"He kissed near my lips."

"...what? He kissed you, near your lips?"

"Yes."

"Ok, ok. So—"

"And I kissed his hand back."

"Ok—"

"And he left his glasses on my car."

"Max, what—"

"I think I'm in love with him," Max says quickly, almost exhaling the words to the phone, to Zee, to himself.

He hears a sharp inhale on the other side, and sounds of people talking get quieter, like Zee is moving this conversation to a different room. He hears a door shut.

"...finally, huh?" Comes in Zee's voice, sounding like he's smiling.

“What?” Max asks, bewildered, his agitation on admitting he loves Nat dissipating for a moment.

“You finally realized it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I was waiting for you to say something. Ever since the pre-meeting, you have been looking at Nat differently,” Zee tells him, sounding all too proud.

Max takes that in for a second before asking, “really?”

“Mm-hmm. I would even say when you saw me and Nu kiss in the shuttle on the way home, I think that’s when you unconsciously start seeing Nat in a different light.”

“How are you so sure about this?”

“Because I just am. You know I’m very observant, and besides, even New noticed.”

“Nong New did?”

“Yes, that’s why I’m waiting for you to act on it, and you actually did. Have you noticed you became more affectionate with Nat?”

“But that’s because… that’s because… he’s so cute.”

“Exactly,” his friend says pointedly, sounding more and more smug.

“Oh shit,” is all Max can say. He was in love with Nat for two months already? And he didn’t even know? 

Now that he thinks about it. It is true. He started looking out more for Nat since the pre-meeting. He started to get involved with Nat’s studies too, something he hasn’t done before. Just because Nat tried to make it seem like it isn’t hard for him to juggle work and university at the same time. But Max has accidentally overheard Nat complaining to Nunew that he has a lot of deliverables to submit, and it’s getting harder for him to meet deadlines because he needs to memorize and practice lines. Max remembered feeling guilty that he didn’t even ask Nat how his studies are going, and he knows Nat would just brush it off, not wanting to concern anyone. So Max went to action instead. He started dropping-off and fetching Nat to university if he needed to go, helped him collect and research for materials he needed, he even gave a big donation to the university foundation that Nat has been supporting.

“What do I do?” he asks, feeling helpless. Nat is going to be gone for a week and he can’t even tell him through the phone because that would just be insincere.

“Calm down. Maybe you guys being apart for a week will help you settle your feelings. You just have to… think about what you really feel, Max. I cannot tell you how Nat feels about you, but I have a feeling you already know,” his friend says slowly, trying his best to comfort him through the phone.

“Yeah,” Max responds absently. He has always gotten the feeling that Nat has a crush on him, and he still treats him the same way he does, not to mention that kiss near his lips and how Nat looked at him. Yeah, he knows. The question is, what is Max going to do about it. This part he doesn’t know.

“I just want to say… don’t hurt him, Max. You know him better than I do, and if you even make him cry—”

“I won’t! That’s the last thing I would do!”

“I know. Just making sure. So what do you wanna do now?”

“I don’t know when I can tell him, or if he’s even ready to hear me, but I’ll just show him… I guess. I want to show him, Zee, that I love him and I want to be with him,” he says seriously, truly meaning his words. His head is already thinking up things of how he could properly express himself to Nat.

“Oh geez, never thought I would hear you wax those kind of words,” Zee laughs, finding Max declaring his love amusing.

“Shut up. You were even worse after I confronted you kissing Nunew,” Max throws back. He can feel his face getting hotter.

“Yeah, yeah, we are on the same boat now, my friend. Seriously, I always wanted you guys to get your shit together. It’s been getting hard seeing you both and not saying anything. I’m sure Yim and Tutor would be relieved too.”

“Tutor and Yim? Those two also know?”

“You haven’t been the most subtle, Max.”

“Is it really that obvious?”

“Yes, I bet even P’Aof is waiting for you to say something,” Zee says matter-of-factly.

“Damn,” he sighs. How could he have been so blind? He has been with Nat every day for the past two months, for the past three years.

“Just… take your time. And when you have a chance and you’re ready, you’ll know it. Everything’s going to be fine,” the older assures him, always being that guy who looks out for everyone.

“Were you ready? When you kissed Nunew that day?”

“I am… I just made sure he is ready for it too, but he gave me permission and so what happened, happened.”

“I wish I could have realized this sooner, preferably when Nat is here and not when he’s about to spend a week away from me.”

“It is what it is, my friend. I got to go, by the way. They’re already packing up here. You’re still at the airport, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Now try to go home safely, Max. No accidents allowed. You can’t pull a Hia Yi here,” Zee teases, referencing Max’s character on their show.

Max laughs a little and feels grateful for his friend, “thank you, Zee, really.”

“Sure thing, Max. I really gotta go now. Text me when you get home.”

“Yes, Hia~” Max coos teasingly. His friend is such a worrywart that he acts like everybody’s mother sometimes, but everybody loves him for it.

He can hear Zee laughing before he hangs up. Max alone in his car again. He looks at Nat’s glasses case fondly. He just asked multiple times if the younger forgot anything, and to think he would still forget his glasses. He turns on his camera and takes a picture of the glasses and sends Nat a LINE message.

Max Kornthas

You still forgot your glasses, Nong
[Attach picture]
You’re making miss you already
Have a safe flight

Nong Nat

I didn’t forget them hehe
I miss you too P’Max
Gotta go
Call you when I’m about to board

 

He didn’t forget them? Did Nat leave them intentionally? He takes another picture of the glasses before wearing it and taking a photo for himself. He opened his Twitter, and posted the two photos.

MMax
@MMaxmaxxxx

You’re gone but you still left your stuff here to remind me of you! @natasittttt

 

He puts the glasses back carefully on its case. It somehow feels important. He just realized he loves Nat. Nothing has changed but also everything did.

He leaves out a breath and puts his seatbelt on. Zee’s right. He needs to go home safely.

Max is cooking dinner when Nat’s specific notification sound pings. He quickly turns off the stove and grabs his phone.

Nong Nat ♡

About to fly~

Max Kornthas

Have a safe flight nong~

Nong Nat ♡

What are you doing now, Phi?

Max Kornthas

Cooking
Also missing you
So I’m doing two things

Nong Nat ♡

P'Max!!!!

Max Kornthas

Haha cute~
I wish I was there

Nong Nat ♡

We’ll go next time!
Don’t do too many things without me, Phi!

Max Kornthas

I won’t
You know I won’t
Except missing you
I’m always missing you

Nong Nat ♡

Stopppp
It’s going to get old if you say it that much

Max Kornthas

But it’s true :(
Stupid delayed visa

Nong Nat ♡

I know right
:(

Max Kornthas

Don’t have too much fun without me
And
Tag me in everything you do
So it’s like we’re experiencing it together

Nong Nat ♡

I will!
I promise Phi!
Oh
I think we’re about to take off
We have wifi
But I want to sleep :(

Max Kornthas

Put your phone down then
Have a safe flight, darling

 

Max smiles at the phone. He thought something’s going to change after their goodbye at the airport, but he’s relieved and frustrated that they’re still the same. He’ll assume it means one thing: Nat doesn’t believe that kiss has any meaning to him. They often do things for each other that could be interpreted romantically (otherwise suggestively), and it looks like their kisses on that airport count as one of those things.

He steels himself. He has to show Nat he’s serious about him, without pressuring him. Max got this. He knows he’s a charmer. He got this. Or not, since Nat knows his exes and he knows how he wooed them. 

He shakes the negative thought and pockets his phone. He still has to eat dinner.

It’s almost midnight and Max is preparing to go to bed when someone calls his phone. He grabs it unhurriedly, wondering who could be calling him at this hour. He sees Nat’s name on screen and he doesn’t think twice before pressing Accept. 

“P’Max?” Nat’s cute voice reaches his ears, sounding sleepy and quiet, like he woke up from a nap.

“Darling, what’s up? Were you sleeping?” Max asks, sitting on his bed, his hand slightly tingling imagining Nat’s sleepy figure calling him.

Silence came on the phone and Max briefly wondered if Nat had fallen asleep again, when he realized he just called Nat “darling”. Oh. Is that too forward of him? 

He’s about to say something when Nat’s quiet voice came in, “...yeah, I woke up. What time is it now?”

Max chuckles fondly, Nat called him first thing after he woke up that he didn’t even bother to check the time? Why is he so lovable?

“It’s 11:49 now, Nong.”

“Oh! Really? Were you about to sleep then, P’Max? I’m sorry I think I should—”

“No! It’s okay! You know we had later nights than this. So… talk to me. Why did you call?”

“Nothing… I just… I don’t know,” the younger trails off, his words slowed. Max can't help but find this all so adorable. Nat didn’t even have a reason to call him. He just did.

“That’s alright. I can talk about anything. How’s your flight so far?”

“It’s okay… I got some sushi earlier. And that thing you like um quinoa? Yeah I got that.”

“Aw, you should have taken a picture of it!”

“Ah– sorry! I forgot, Phi. I’ll take the next one, promise!” Nat says, sounding more awake now. Max could imagine his surprised eyes and chuckles at the thought.

“Don’t worry, I’m kidding. That’s good though. You sound like you need more sleep, Nong, you should rest some more.”

“...you don’t like talking to me?” The younger questions, his voice sulking and small. Max mentally slaps himself.

“I love talking to you. It’s just that, you only slept for 2 hours today so I thought you need more rest.” 

“Hmm, yeah. But I want to talk to you,” came the quiet response. Max could feel his hand tingling again, wanting nothing more than to hold Nat against him. He settles for his dinosaur plushie (that one Nat gifted him, damn it even his house is full of Nat) squeezing it hard.

He may have been trying to compose himself for too long that Nat asks, “P’Max?”

“I’m here,” he says, voice faint.

“Are you okay? Are you sleepy too?”

“I’m fine, darling. I just… I’m touched that you wanna talk to me,” he assures him, the endearment slipping out naturally.

“Why is that touching? I talk to you all the time, Phi.”

“Well, yeah. I don’t know. I may be missing you too much.”

“...me too.”

Max chuckles, his heart feeling lighter at Nat’s admission.

“Look at us, you haven’t even landed in Switzerland yet.”

“Hehe, I guess we spent too much time together, P’Max.”

“Not enough,” he quietly says, reality once again reminding him that he's not going to see Nat for a week. 

"What?" Nat asks on the other line, not hearing him.

"Oh nothing. So how’s your mom and dad been?” He asked, changing the topic to calm himself and asking it out of curiosity.

“They look great. Recently, Ma had a lot of clients so I think she had no leisure time lately, and Dad looks like he needs a breather too… I’m glad we’re having this trip,” the younger says, sounding like the devoted son he is. Another thing Max loves about him. Even if Nat has to juggle college and work at the same time, he never forgets to treat his parents. He always gives his mom chocolates and bouquets on every special occasion and he even studies their family business just so he could have meaningful conversations with his father. 

“That’s nice. Say ‘hello’ to them for me.”

“Already did, Phi. Ma said it’s a waste that you didn’t get your visa yet. I think she misses you more than me,” Nat jokingly sulks. His mom adores Max like her own son, especially after that time she talked to Max alone. Max remembers Nat’s mom looking out for him more after that conversation.

“Of course not, you’re still their baby, Nong.”

Nat giggles cutely at this. Max could feel his lips stretching to a smile instinctively.

“Dad said you can come over when we get back. He still owes you—” a big yawn cut off his words and Max couldn’t hold his laugh. His baby needs to sleep.

“That’s it. You really need to sleep, Nat,” Max chides softly. He hears another small yawn.

“I want to keep talking to you though, we may not talk tomorrow,” the younger reminds him.

“That’s okay. Just think of me and I’ll think of you,” he says, fully meaning it.

A sudden laugh comes from Nat, who probably thinks Max is randomly saying tacky lines at him again. They often tease each other like this, more so nowadays when they want to get a reaction out of the other.

“Sure, sure~ I guess I better sleep. They’ll wake me up again to eat later.”

“Okay. Good night, my Nong Nat~” he says in the usual sweet tone they use to tease each other.

“Goodnight, my P’Max~” 

Max’s heart beats faster at the endearment. He has heard this a hundred times before. Why does it feel so different now?

“Text me when you land, ok?”

“Yes~ I’ll tag you in everything! Don’t worry, Phi! Sleep well! Hug Dino for me!” The younger tells him, referring to the dinosaur plushie.

“I’m hugging him now. Sleep well, baby. I’ll be dreaming of you.”

He can hear a small sound coming from Nat, probably shocked at how serious he sounded. He forces his hand to drop the call.

“Shit,” he just says pathetically, holding Max’s big dinosaur plushie with one hand, and pressing his phone on his face with the other. 

I’m really crazy for him. I’m an idiot. Why did I just realize this? He wonders for the nth time, releasing an exasperated breath.

He looks at the plushie like it will give him answers. The plushie knows nothing, of course.

He lays down the bed, settles down the covers, and tries not to think more about Nat. Especially Nat’s face, his pouting lips, his big eyes, his cute button nose, his warm and small body, his— Fuck. 

He’s not sleeping peacefully tonight, he thinks.