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James sat at the kitchen table, a cup of tea between his hands. The sound of Harry and his friends bickering playfully over who got to play seeker in their pick-up Quidditch game rang through the house and he loved it. He had always wanted a home and a family and this life he shared with Lily had given him all he'd ever dreamed of and more.
Well. With one exception.
It was an open family secret that he was gay. Lily knew. Peter and Sirius and Remus all knew. Even Harry knew. It had always been that way for them, just another part of the life they all shared.
Lily's friend and his own one-time rival, Severus, had been the one to help him and Lily conceive Harry, his research and potions skills proving invaluable, despite his feelings for James. Magic really could solve most any problem. It had required a few potions and some time off work for Lily. It had required a few uncomfortable sessions of wanking into a cup, too, but it was all worth it. More than worth it, really. His son – their son – was everything to him. Watching him grow up, raising him with Lily, had been the most wonderful thing in his life.
"Anybody home?!" Lily called, swinging the door open and slipping her shoes off.
"You're early," James said, standing to greet her with a kiss on the cheek.
"One of Alice's charms backfired. Turned her whole arm into a sunflower, " she laughed, pouring herself a glass of juice. "We decided to just call it a day after that."
"You're alright?" James asked, running a hand over her shoulder in mild alarm. Even after all the times he'd been injured doing stupid things at school, he still didn't like the thought of someone else, someone he loved, being hurt.
Rolling her eyes, she said affectionately, "It wasn't even my arm, you idiot. And yes, I'm perfectly fine, ta everso."
"Right," he said, feeling sheepish. He knew full well that Lily could take care of herself – and Severus and Alice too – at the flower shop they ran, no matter what happened. Not that a flower shop was an especially likely place to be severely injured anyway. "Well, I'm glad you're back because I wanted to talk to you about something." He sat back down and took a sip of his tea, aiming for casual, but managing to slosh part of it over his lap anyway.
"Ooh!" She sat down across from him quickly, her brown eyes sparkling with interest. "Have you met someone?"
James snorted. "No. Definitely not," he said firmly. "Unless you count meeting Mitzy Wilson in the park. I stopped and let her have a picnic with the dog," he laughed.
"Hmm." Lily's face fell. "Well, her dad is quite fit," she said, perking back up a bit. "There could be something there."
"He is very fit," James agreed. "And very married. To a woman," he said, laughing.
"Well, so are you," she said, brushing him off. "That doesn't mean anything."
"I don't think most people have an arrangement quite like ours, Lils," he said, reaching across the table to squeeze her fingers.
James knew that Lily had a lover. He wasn't sure who the man was, but it really didn't matter. Their relationship was very much an open one. They didn't even sleep in the same room, for Merlin's sake. They never had done. But even knowing that, he was still often amazed at how supportive and open she was to him finding a lover or even a partner of his own. They may not love each other in the way that the wizarding world assumed they did, but that didn't mean they weren't platonically perfect together. He couldn't have imagined this life with anyone else. Sure, it was non-traditional, but what they had was better than any musty old tradition. Which is why James was wrestling so much with what he had recently begun wanting, yearning for, in life.
"True," she said slowly, then shrugged. "That's their loss." She squeezed his hand back then took another sip of juice. "So you haven't found someone. What did you want to talk about?" Her face was open and friendly, her green eyes warm. He wished, not for the first time, that he could just love her the way he'd thought he had when they got married.
"Well," he said, running a hand through his hair. "There's not someone, but I think I'd like there to be?" He said it as if it was a question, but it really wasn't one. He'd been thinking about it too much lately to question it any longer. "I'm so tired of being lonely, Lils."
Her smile grew wide with excitement. "Yesss!" she exclaimed. "I'm so happy for you! So who do you have your eye on?" she asked in a gossipy, sing-song tone.
That was what he loved about Lily. She was so full of joy, it was impossible not to be genuinely happy around her. "No one yet," he protested with a grin. "It's just… everyone has somebody. Sirius and Lucinda, Frank and Alice. Severus is alone, but he's aro/ace and happy and he's got all of us so that hardly counts," he babbled. "Now Remus is getting married and you've got someone." He paused. "Don't suppose you'll tell me who you're dating now?" he asked cheekily.
She laughed. "Not yet." She pressed her lips together in a small sly-looking grin. "You know I support you completely, right?" He nodded. Of course he knew that. It went both ways. "Okay, I'll make a deal with you. If you find a date to the wedding, we'll both come out then. You can kiss that musty closet goodbye, and I can kiss my partner in public."
James smiled. "I mean, I hope I get to kiss an actual person too," he said. "But it's a deal." They shook hands and laughed, then a thought occurred to him. "Is it rude to be coming out at someone's wedding? I don't want to take the attention away from them on their day."
Finishing her juice, Lily stood and walked over behind him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pressing her cheek to his. "I love you," she said simply. "I'll ask Eileen to be sure. I've got a feeling she's just glad to have finally found happiness, though. We could probably ride hippogriffs down the aisle and she'd never even take her eyes off our Moony."
He leaned back against her, enjoying the comfortable warmth of her affection, and said, "I still don't quite understand that relationship. I mean, she's old enough to be his mother. She is Sev's mother!"
Lily chuckled and pressed a loud kiss against his cheek then stood and ruffled his hair. "You're so silly," she said. "Love is love. You know that."
~~~~
James walked into the house and loosened his tie, then went into the living room and sank into the couch.
"How'd it go?" Lily asked, flicking her wand to turn down the wireless. A blanket was draped over her folded legs and she looked very cozy. James rather wished he had spent the evening at home with her.
"Snape set me up with a free house elf," he said, unable to keep a straight face.
"He didn't!" Lily gasped, throwing her head back and laughing loudly.
"He did." James nodded then joined her in laughter. There was really nothing else he could do given the absurdity of the situation.
After his talk with Lily, it hadn't taken long for word to get out to their friends that he was looking for a date to the wedding. And once they knew, they had all begun setting him up on a series of well-intentioned but terrible dates.
Well, he was relatively sure that Sev was not well-intentioned, having sent him to a rather expensive restaurant to meet a loud and overly affectionate house elf named Dobby. But at least that was funny. The others had been less so.
Sirius' wife, Lucinda, had set him up with a distant cousin of hers who was very nice and gentlemanly and who must have been at least 85 years old. "He wasn't that old when I last saw him," she'd sheepishly told James the next morning. The fact that she'd last seen him when she was 5 had apparently slipped her mind. That had, sadly, been the best date he'd been on so far.
Alice had arranged a date for him and a friend of a client at the flower shop. Joe had been nice enough to look at with his chestnut-coloured hair and lean frame, a smattering of freckles across his nose. The problem came when he'd started talking. It was all 'blood purity' this and 'stop freeing the house elves' that. He seemed to have an unhealthy kind of obsession with transgender wixen, claiming that 'they're dangerous' for some unknown reason, and with the man who'd lost their last Ministry election, claiming that he would have 'set things right.' James had had no idea that a gay man could be so bloody conservative and he left the meal feeling like he needed a bath just for having shared a meal with him.
Poor Remus, busy with wedding preparations, had introduced him to an author he was acquainted with through the publishing firm he worked for. Gilderoy was utterly beautiful to look at – blond hair, big blue eyes, a kissable-looking mouth, and sparkling white teeth – but he was as stupid as he was beautiful. He spoke at great length about his favourite colour and his many accomplishments, most of which sounded fake, and the time he had spent finding a set of dress robes that perfectly matched his eyes. James left that one wondering how on earth the man had written any sort of books on any topic other than himself, which seemed to be the only topic he was an expert on.
"Oh, James," Lily said after their laughter had died down. She stood up from her chair and moved to the sofa beside him, snuggling close and draping her blanket across them both. "I bet Mitzy's dad is looking pretty good right now."
"Mitzy's dad has always looked good," he replied, chuckling. "Doesn't change the fact that he's married."
"Fine, fine. No homewrecking," she sighed exaggeratedly then laid her head over on his shoulder. "But maybe it's time to just get out there and find your own man. The blind dates are just not working."
"Yeah," he conceded, draping an arm around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head. "I think you're right." True, he found that thought rather terrifying. He'd never had to go out and meet someone before, never been looking for love. But he hadn't been sorted into Gryffindor for nothing. It was high time to dust off his courage and put himself out there.
~~~~
"Hey, thanks for coming out with me tonight, Pete," James said, setting two pints down on the table and settling into the chair across from Peter.
"Anytime, mate," Peter said, smiling widely. "I don't think bar hopping would be much fun by yourself." He took a drink from his glass. "Plus you need a wingman if you're trying to pick up a bloke."
James smiled back, feeling a kind of warmth spreading through his chest from Peter's easy acceptance. Sure, his friends had all known he was gay for years, but knowing he was theoretically gay and coming out to a gay bar with him were two different things.
"True," he agreed, raising his glass to Peter then taking a drink himself. "And as my only single friend, the honour is all yours," he laughed.
"Heh, yeah," Peter said, glancing away quickly. "I mean, you've got Sev too," he went on before James could think too much into his reaction.
"Severus set me up with a house elf!" James said, laughing. "I'm not exactly physically compatible with house elves, so I don't think I'd trust him as a wingman. He'd probably try to introduce me to a centaur."
"Well, at least centaurs have big dicks," a man said from a nearby pool table. "Or so I've heard," he laughed.
James hadn't realized he'd been talking so loud. He laughed and looked over at the man and then, when he saw him, he gave what he hoped was a flirtatious smile. He was wearing jeans and a soft-looking jumper, a pool cue in his left hand. And he was absolutely adorable. "Yeah, I bet they do," he replied, then mentally berated himself. A cute guy shows him some attention and that's the best thing he can think to say?
The man didn't seem bothered, though. "You wanna play a round?" he asked, gesturing to the pool table with his free hand.
"Yes he would!" Peter said loudly, as James said, "Well, I haven't played in years." Both were true. He hesitated for a moment until Peter kicked him under the table. "Yes, I would," he said finally, standing up and giving Peter a grateful glance. Yes, he was much better than Snape would've been.
"I'm Cedric," the man said in a friendly tone as he racked the pool balls. Sandy brown hair fell across his forehead as he looked down.
"James," James replied, grabbing a cue and chalking it up. He was trying not to stare and doing a poor job of it. Cedric put even Mitzy's dad to shame. He had a friendly easy smile and warm brown eyes, a lean body that looked as if he might be hiding some muscle under that jumper, and as James learned when he leaned over the table to break the balls, an amazing arse.
"So are you new here?" Cedric asked as James lined up his shot.
"Yeah, I'm actually new to gay bars in general," he replied, watching as the 9 ball bounced away from the pocket. "I picked this one because it seemed really casual. You could say I'm newly out of the closet, I suppose." A part of him was beginning to regret that decision now that he was seeing how easy it could have been. If he'd been open about it sooner, he could have had more interactions like this one with Cedric and, perhaps, fewer terrible blind dates.
"Nice! Congrats," Cedric said. "I'm pretty new to it myself. My girlfriend didn't take it particularly well." He laughed.
"That's rough," James said sympathetically. "I'm actually married, but I guess I got lucky. She's really supportive of me." He explained a bit about his marriage and his life with Lily as they played.
"That's awesome," Cedric said. "It's so nice to hear positive stories like that. Was she a Hufflepuff by chance?"
James laughed. "Nope, Gryffindor. But she's definitely got the loyalty of a Puff." The warmth in his chest grew as he talked with Cedric, the conversation flowing naturally between them as the game went on. Cedric was warm and funny, supportive of his situation with Lily. He felt as if he'd known him for much longer than one evening.
As one game ended, they racked up the balls and started another. James broke, feeling his rusty old pool skills coming back, and Cedric got them another round of beers. They talked and laughed, telling stories of their Hogwarts Quidditch days (Cedric had been a seeker) and little bits about their lives. At some point, Peter left, giving James a goofy thumbs-up and a wide grin before he went. James smiled back and waved. Best wingman ever.
"So do you live close?" James asked as they wrapped up another game and started to think about calling it a night.
"Just a few blocks away," Cedric said. "I was living with my ex, but had to move out for obvious reasons." He chuckled self-consciously. "Just staying with a friend of mine for now."
"Nice," James said. "Don't know what I'd do without my friends." Mentioning his friends in that moment reminded him of the upcoming wedding. He ran a hand through his hair. He knew that he wanted to ask Cedric to be his date – he hadn't ever clicked so well with another person, a potential lover – in ages, but he felt suddenly nervous, as if he was a kid asking for a date to the Yule Ball. "Could I walk you home?" he asked instead, procrastinating.
"Sure!" Cedric said, flashing his warm smile and dimples at James. "I'd like that."
As they left the bar and headed down the pavement, Cedric tentatively brushed the back of James' hand with his. Relaxing, James reached out and took it, winding their fingers together and giving a gentle squeeze. He glanced at Cedric and they both smiled. His nervousness evaporated as he realized that Cedric liked him, that he had nothing to be nervous about.
"So, one of my friends is getting married next week. I know it's not the most fun first date, but I was wondering if you'd like to go with me?" he asked, feeling his courage return to him as easily as his pool skills had.
"Remus?" Cedric asked, filling James with a bubbly kind of happiness because he could tell he'd really listened as they'd been talking over their pool game. "I'd love to!" he answered after James confirmed. "Your friends seem great. I can't wait to meet them!"
They walked in companionable silence for a moment, then Cedric said, "Oh! I have tickets to the Bats-Kestrals game tomorrow if you'd like to come with me? Might make for a more fun first date."
"Absolutely!" James gladly accepted.
When they reached Cedric's door, he turned to James and moved in close. "I'm really glad I met you," he said.
"Same," James said softly. It felt so right, like it was meant to be. He brushed a lock of sandy hair back from Cedric's face and leaned in, pressing his mouth gently against his. Instantly, he knew all that he'd been missing. Cedric's firm body pressed to his, strong hands wrapped around his hips and pulled him in closer. Cedric tasted like beer and something that was uniquely Cedric, the stubble on his chin scratched at James'. There were no fireworks or stars or music in his head, but he didn't need them because everything had come together perfectly to give them that moment and he was filled with a sense of completeness, of warmth, with the knowledge that this was what he had needed all along.
"I'll see you tomorrow then?" he asked as he pulled back, rubbing his nose against Cedric's for a second before stepping away.
"Tomorrow," Cedric confirmed with a smile. Then, with a little wave, he went into his flat, closing the door behind him.
~~~~
For the next week, James didn't go a single day without speaking to Cedric. They'd had an amazing time at the Quidditch match together and had met up at the bar several more times for pool. On the days they didn't get together, they floo called each other and chatted for ages. James felt like a teenager again.
Lily seemed to find it both cute and amusing but he didn't even care.
"So when am I going to meet your new man?" she asked as he got up from the floor next to the fireplace after talking with Cedric.
"The same time I get to meet yours," he said, laughing.
He stretched his back then sat down at the kitchen table. She rubbed his back and said, "You're getting too old for long floo calls."
"Don't remind me," he said, tipping his head back to look up at her. "He's 26."
At that, she burst out laughing and flopped down into the chair next to him. "Oohh," she teased. "Didn't take you long to figure out the whole age gap thing, huh?"
James just smiled smugly and ruffled her hair. "You're so silly," he said. "Love is love, you know."
Digging her elbow into his side playfully, she said, "Such wisdom. Where'd you hear that one?"
~~~~
When the day of Remus and Eileen's wedding arrived, James was all nerves and excitement. He knew, logically, that his friends would love Cedric. How could they not? And he was certain that he'd love Lily's man too. He trusted her taste and judgment more than he trusted his own most days. But he couldn't help being filled with nervous energy anyway. Everything was going to change after this.
He knotted his tie and tried, and failed, to tame his hair. He supposed he should just feel grateful to still have it, he thought, chuckling.
When he'd done all he could, he left his room and found Lily and Harry already waiting for him in the living room.
"You guys look great!" he said, ruffling Harry's hair, so like his own, and kissing Lily's cheek. "Let's go!"
Eileen's family garden was gorgeous. Flowers that Alice and Lily had arranged swayed in the light wind and tiny fairy lights twinkled from the trees. Even more gorgeous, though, was Cedric, leaning against a fence waiting for them. Attractive as he always was, his expertly fitted dress robes did wonders for him. His brown eyes shone as their eyes met.
Quickly, James leaned in and kissed him, then turned and introduced him to Lily and Harry.
"Oi!" Harry said. "You're dating my dad?!"
Cedric just laughed and James ran an awkward hand through his hair. How had it never occurred to him that Harry and Cedric would have been at school together. Then Cedric reached over and grabbed his hand and James relaxed. Love is love, after all.
The biggest surprise of all, though, came when Peter arrived. Once she spotted him, Lily ran over to him and took his hand, leading him over to James and Cedric. "This," she said, "is my partner." She leaned over and kissed his cheek while Peter just smiled, his cheeks bright pink.
"Pete!" James exclaimed after staring for a long moment. "No wonder you wanted to be my wingman!"
"Any time, mate!" Peter laughed.
James looked around at his family, Lily and Harry, Peter and now Cedric too, and felt better than he had ever felt in his life. They might be be unconventional, but love is love. He wouldn't have it any other way.