Chapter Text
“I will just be across the room if you need me.”
After a lengthy bath and Melina gathering her bearings at the sudden turn of her supposed one-sided conversation, she eventually gets the three year old dressed and ready for bed, tucking her in under the covers with her teddy bear right beside her.
“Good night,” Melina murmurs, brushing the stray hairs away from Clara’s forehead. “Sleep well.”
Clara doesn’t respond, simply watches as she walks away.
Melina keeps the door open in Clara’s room just in case, and when she crosses over to her room and settles on her side of the bed, she makes sure the all the monitors were functioning, turning the volume up high.
“How was she?” Alexei asks sleepily, turning over to face her.
Melina gives him a tight lipped smile, settling her tablet back on her bedside table.
“She needs time. We need to be more patient with her,” Melina says softly. “She still remembers us, how we were before. We just…I think we would have to build that trust again, make her believe that she is not going to be taken away for the second time.”
“She won’t,” Alexei grunts. “What can I do?”
“Hmm?”
“Tell me what I need to do,” Alexei repeats. “You know that I am better than Natasha’s husband in all aspects, but this…being more than just person who flies her around and buys apple pie. I want to do more for you and her.”
Melina lays down on her side and reaches her hand up to cup his cheek, and he’s quick to circle her wrist, kissing the base of her palm.
“I do not trust you with preparing food,” Melina murmurs, and Alexei snorts out a laugh. “But you already do more than enough—just being present is more than enough.”
“Will you tell me if you need more help?”
Melina kisses the tip of his nose.
“I will.”
Alexei gives her a knowing look. “Will you be able to sleep tonight?”
“Maybe not, but I will try,” Melina says. He doesn’t believe her one bit. “Good night.”
As they both have predicted, Melina lies awake for the next few hours, well after Alexei slips into a deep sleep, and she forces herself to stay in bed despite the overwhelming urge to take a peek at her tablet.
Melina allows herself to close her eyes at around two in the morning, her body relaxing for a brief moment, but it jolts upright as soon as she heads a soft thud from Clara’s room.
She scrambles off the bed as quickly and as quietly as she can manage, crossing the short distance to the child’s room and she finds her a few steps away from the toddler bed, trying her best to hold back her tears as she remained belly down on the floor.
“Clara,” Melina says, squatting to pick her up but Clara only shrieks, swiveling away from her. “Clara. Clara, it’s okay.”
Melina stays on her knees as she watches Clara forcing herself up on shaky legs, making uncoordinated steps back to her bed.
“Darling?” Melina asks worriedly, shuffling forward with caution. Clara doesn’t bother with wrestling with the blankets, simply takes the worn looking bear into her grasp and turns herself on her side with her back towards Melina. “What’s wrong?”
She hears the slightest sniffle, and when Melina gently presses her hand against Clara’s back, the three year old flinches violently.
“It’s me, baby,” Melina tries again, tries not to feel hurt when Clara wriggles away from under her palm. “I’m right here, you’re home now.”
Clara doesn’t catch on, shrugging her hand off and scooting further as if she was trying to meld herself into the wall.
Melina doesn’t know what to do, but she stays in her spot as she thinks and observes.
She doesn’t try to fill the air with words or start a one-sided conversation, but she sees Clara shoving her hands into her sleep shirt and without thinking, she gingerly pulls the blanket from underneath the girl and drapes it over her body.
Clara stills at the sudden warmth, and ever so slowly, turns to her other side, all red rimmed eyes and flushed cheeks, and Melina doesn’t think she’s seen a more pitiful sight.
“Hi,” Melina whispers softly, careful not to touch. “Hi, Clara.”
Clara sniffles.
“How are you feeling?”
Clara only wipes her nose against the soft head of the bear, glazed eyes staring past her.
“Did you have a nightmare?” Melina keeps her voice low. “Or did you need something? You seemed to be heading somewhere when I got here.”
Clara’s eyes flicker up and meets hers for the briefest of moments, and Melina’s suspicions were confirmed when she hears a surprisingly loud grumble coming from the little girl’s stomach.
Clara’s arms immediately come down and wrap themselves around her torso, and Melina holds back a frown.
“I can bring as snack up here for you,” Melina offers, and Clara looks downright uncomfortable now, her eyes darting around the room and looking at everywhere but her. “Clara?”
The three year old unceremoniously bursts into tears, unsure of how to properly respond, and when Melina instinctively reaches out to touch her arm in an effort to soothe, she’s relieved when she doesn’t flinch at her touch.
“Oh—oh, darling,” Melina coos, taking full advantage of her temporary trust and carefully lifts Clara up from the bed and transfers her to straddle her lap. The child lets out an anguished cry, not knowing whether to fight or to yield.
“Shh, shh,” Melina cups the back of her head, not wasting any more time in making her way down the stairs, rummaging through the fridge and the pantry to find something easy she could eat.
“Alright. Alright, here we go,” Melina pulls out a small cup of yogurt and a banana from the counter, sitting her on the marble countertop and settles in the barstool in front of her. “Calm down now, baby. It’s okay.”
Melina cups her cheeks and wipes her tears with the pads of her thumbs, shushing and murmuring softly to help soothe her further. It takes her a few more minutes of gentle words until she was reduced to little hiccups and whimpers, and when Melina holds up the banana for her to take, Clara looks down at it, still unsure.
“You used to always swipe bananas from the fruit bowl,” Melina reminisces, peeling it for her before placing it in her hand. “It was your second favorite next to apple slices.”
Melina signs the word, holding her index finger up and pretends to peel the sides, and Clara watches intently, a spark of recognition in her eyes.
Clara holds the banana up, and Melina gives her a wide grin.
“That’s right. Banana. Banan, ” Melina nods, sighing in relief when Clara begins to eat a bit too enthusiastically. “You must have been very hungry, huh.”
Melina watches as she eats, quickly grabbing a small glass of water to help her wash everything down.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Melina starts, taking the lid off from the yogurt cup and hands it to her along with a small spoon. “Did they…your mommy and daddy—did they let you have snacks?”
Clara is quiet as she haphazardly spoons yogurt into her mouth.
“But they fed you well, yes?” Melina follows up. Clara doesn’t respond. “Were they nice to you?”
Clara ignores her questions as she steadily finishes the cup of yogurt, and Melina comes in every once in a while to wipe the sides of her mouth. She sets the empty cup down to the side and holds both her hands up, showing her the back of her hands then her palms again.
“All done,” Melina acknowledges the motion with a small smile, pleasantly surprised at her recall. “You remember that one, good job.”
Clara meets her eyes.
“What else do you remember?”
Melina tosses the yogurt cup and banana peel into the bin, and just before she turns around, she hears her soft, hoarse voice.
“Aiko,” Clara murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper. “S’fia.”
“Aiko and Sofia, I remember them—I miss them very much,” Melina smiles softly, not wanting to make a big deal at her talking again. As much as she wants to pry about her experience back in her biological parents’ home, she thinks it might cause more harm than good if she pushes too soon. “What else, darling?”
“Misha,” Clara carries on, allowing Melina to wipe her hands with a damp towel. “Moon.”
“Misha never left you,” Melina says, lifting her up and settling her on her hip. She pretends not to notice how stiff she is against her, trying to minimize the points of contact. “Moon, the goodnight moon story?”
Clara nods, slipping her thumb into her mouth. Melina doesn’t have the heart to pull it out.
”Airp’ane.”
“Airplane with Alexei, that’s a really good one. I remember that well too, seeing you fly around,” Melina begins to make her way back to her room. “What else, darling? I love hearing you talk.”
“I go,” Clara says after a few beats of silence, not as a question but almost accusingly, and it makes Melina stop in the middle of the staircase.
“I did not want you to go at all. I didn’t…I didn’t have a choice,” Melina explains. It’s not enough, she knows, and she’ll do anything to make it up to her. “But that was a mistake and I am not going to do it again. No leaving, I promise. Only stay.”
“Stay,” Clara repeats softly, looking up at her. Her accent was lighter now, most likely after the several months with her birth parents, but her speech was something they still needed to work on.
“Yes, baby. You’re staying, no going away,” Melina carries on up until she reaches the top of the steps. She brings Clara to her room and keeps her in her hold, hiking her higher up on her hip after swiping her teddy bear from the bed. “We can’t lie down yet because you just ate. A few minutes more.”
Melina tells her about the digestive system to pass the time.
“Your food stays in your stomach only for a short while because it has to move through your intestines,” Melina carries on, poking her stomach and Clara lets out a surprised squeak. “I am showing you where. See?”
Melina pokes her stomach again and Clara giggles softly, and when she finds her tickle spots, she has her laughing heartily now, squirming away from her wiggling fingers.
“Mama!” Clara squeals out between bouts of soft laughter.
Melina’s heart stutters at the name, and she revels in the sound.
They eventually settle down after a short while, Clara allowing Melina to tuck her under the blanket and doesn’t pull away when she leans down to kiss her forehead.
“Good night,” Melina whispers, and Clara grabs two of her fingers, wrapping her hand around them and tugging her hand to rest over her stomach before surrendering to sleep.
Melina doesn’t pull away.
She stays in her spot, unwavering, even until the first streams of sunlight begin to peek through the curtains.
When she feels Clara begin to wake beneath her palm, she puts on a tired but warm smile. It’s the first thing Clara sees when she opens her eyes.
“Dobroye utro,” Melina murmurs, biting back a yawn. “Did you sleep well, darling?”
Clara pushes Melina’s hand away and stares past her gaze.
Melina pushes through and gives her a gentle smile. She pretends her heart doesn’t break.