Work Text:
It has been hours and Bam was still nowhere close to getting Byeol to stop crying. He was certain that he tried everything at this point. She didn’t want to eat, she didn’t need to be changed, the vacuum cleaner didn’t work, rocking in the chair didn’t work, nothing was working! Bam tried to dance around the room, tried humming, tried to pat her on the back and she only screamed in his ear, clutching at him and bawling. Her eyes were going to be so swollen at this point and Bam was losing his patience and his mind. What else could be wrong? It wasn’t the clothes, the temperature of the room…the only other thing that Bam could think of was that this poor child had a nightmare and didn’t know how else to express herself.
Yet, it’s been hours . Surely if it was a nightmare, the crying would’ve stopped, right? Bam’s mind started to spiral. What if she was sick and she didn’t know how to express it? He felt her head, but he couldn’t tell if her temperature was high because of a fever or if she was crying and crying. What if it was her stomach? Was the milk spoiled and they didn’t check? He left her small nursery and padded over to the kitchen, holding her close and he checked the date of the milk that they had in the fridge. He didn’t dare turn the light on in the kitchen, not wanting to hurt his eyes from the fluorescent lights above. Opening the fridge had been a challenge in itself, the light burned in his eyes, reminding him that sleep was a necessity but so was the baby in his arms. He found the bag and peered at the date that Khun wrote on it. It…didn’t appear to be spoiled. What if it was a stomachache anyway, induced from the fever that he couldn’t tell? He raked his teeth against his lip, should he try to give her medicine? But what if she didn’t need it and he would only make her sick?
“You still can’t get her to stop?”
Aguero walked into the kitchen, looking exasperated and tired. His usually groomed hair was wavy and mussed from the pillow. His pajama top had three buttons undone on the collar, his sleeves rolled to his elbows in preparation for any help he had to provide. Normally Bam would be heart-eyed and lovesick at Aguero’s disheveled appearance, but not this time. Bam’s guilt swallowed his stomach and heart. His baby was crying and he didn’t know what to do and now his beloved was losing sleep because Bam was incompetent and he wanted to sit down on the tiled floor to start crying too. “I don’t know what’s wrong.” Bam’s voice broke at the end and Aguero’s eyes widened. “I tried everything. I think she’s sick.”
That made Aguero’s tiredness disappear into action. He picked the little one from Bam’s arms, the firefish swimming into existence. The fish was smaller than Bam could remember, and he continuously worried about what that could mean. Aguero wouldn’t tell him and while Bam didn’t try to pry secrets out of him, this worried him too. Yet, there was no time to ask questions. The first priority to take care of was their baby girl. Aguero went over to the kitchen lights, flipping them on. The blinding white light made Bam squeeze his eyes instantly, blocking out any sort of disturbance. He tried to peel his eyes open, but his lids stuck to his eyeballs like glue. It was hard to get them to open once he knew the blessed dark.
The fish circled around Byeol once, twice, and the crying slowed into whimpers that to Bam sounded as though they were filled with pain. His heart clenched tight and so did his fists. He could fight Rankers, take down Guardians, and destroy floors but he couldn’t help his daughter when she was in pain and it was killing him .
“Oh.”
Aguero’s gentle tone destroyed the tidal wave of guilt that threatened to swallow Bam whole. He looked up at his small family, helpless. Aguero didn’t seem to be alarmed, but his wide eyes held a tender fondness that only showed itself when Byeol was doing something precious. Which, Bam would defend, was all the time. “What?” He asked, afraid.
“Come here, Bam.” Aguero kept his voice even and soft, as though if he let it go any louder it would disturb Byeol. Her whimpers continued, but she wasn’t crying anymore. Her wet cheeks shined brightly underneath the fluorescent lights as her eyes watched her fathers surround her. Bam tried to smile, tried to look assuring, but fear kept his body gripped in a cold grasp. “Look.”
Aguero gently pushed Byeol’s mouth open which caused her to start crying again, uncomfortable. She squirmed, trying to wiggle out of his arms as she shook her tiny little fists as though it would make him go away. Bam held his tongue from telling Aguero off when he noticed something strange. Her gums were swollen and brilliant red. “What…”
“Right there.” Aguero moved so that Bam could try to see. The fish swam near the head, offering the flames as much-needed light. There was a ridge of some sort that was protruding from the gum. “No wonder she was in tears.” Aguero continued, voice soft. “That has to be so painful.”
“What…is that?”
“That’s her first tooth, Bam.”
First tooth. Bam’s fear turned into glee and joy. Yet his heart betrayed his happiness by reminding him that his baby girl was still in pain. “What do we do to help?”
“Well, there’s not much we can do,” Aguero said as the fish swam away. “But I was wondering when this was going to happen.” He passed Byeol back to Bam, who clung to her as though he could shield her from the pain that way. Aguero’s lips quirked and Bam knew that he probably looked overprotective. “I have something that’ll soothe the hurt for a bit.”
“Please.” Bam near begged.
Aguero softened, “Of course.” He walked off and Bam bounced Byeol as she settled from her agitation.
Bam counted the seconds, but he swore it was minutes until Aguero came back into the kitchen, carrying a small tube. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to be the bad guy again,” Aguero said, holding up the tube. “So I need you to hold her still. I can’t do this one-handed.”
Bam clutched Byeol close to him as Aguero gently opened Byeol’s mouth again after applying a dollop of gel on his finger. She showed her displeasure by screaming loudly and going back into tears. “I know, I know.” Aguero shushed. “I’m sorry little one, I’m sorry little wish.” He smeared it against the tooth and quickly retreated. She cried, turning her head away and squirming close into Bam’s hold.
“You’re not a bad guy, Aguero,” Bam said as he decided to assure his husband and lover..
Aguero’s lips quirked. “I’m a terrible person, Bam.” Before Bam could protest he continued. “I just put something in her mouth and now it tastes funny and her tongue’s going to feel weird and everything sucks and it’s my fault.”
“You shouldn’t-“
“She’s a baby Bam,” Aguero said, looking at him gently. “I know that she’ll love me tomorrow, and she’ll settle with you tonight. Right now though, I’m a bad person and she doesn’t want anything to do with me and that’s okay. It’s best if I’m the one that looks bad. I can handle being mean.” His eyes twinkled in mirth. “You wouldn’t be able to do it.”
No, Bam already knew that he would suck at it. He’d cry in the bedroom afterward because his daughter hated him and wanted nothing to do with him and he would feel as though he broke the most sacred of trust that he could have ever been given. “How do you do it, Aguero?”
Aguero was amused, “Bam I come from a large family. Besides killing each other, what else do you think I had to learn how to do?”
Bam looked at him, shocked.
“Eduan’s wives aren’t just cruel to pit us against family members. They were cruel in the fact that some of us had to protect our younger siblings and had to help raise them. In order to one day be able to kill them, we had to be attached to some of them. We will bend over backward to help each other if we think that we could benefit in some way, but we will kill each other in the same breath too. We shouldn’t ever think that we would be different.” Aguero’s eyes darkened. “I can’t take back the lives lost, but I can at least make it so that no one will die.”
But the Tower was cruel, and both Bam and Aguero knew that children of Khun would pit against each other up the climb regardless. If only to get ready for that wish. Aguero could only do so much to stop it from the gate, but past it was no man’s land. “I feel like I failed somehow,” Bam said as he looked down at Byeol whose breathing was now becoming steady.
“Bam, not all first-time parents know anything about teething or about the pain or even about what to do when it happens. They do what you do, try to soothe, try to do whatever they can. They make appointments with doctors in hopes that something can be explained because babies can’t talk. We take the information that we’re given by looking and intuition and hoping that we’re doing the right thing.” Aguero approached Bam with a sweet embrace. Bam’s head flopped to his husband’s shoulder, exhausted emotionally and physically. “You were doing all the right things.”
“I should’ve woken you up a long time ago when I couldn’t figure it out.” Bam lamented.
“No,” Aguero said as he shook his head. “You tried to solve the problem by yourself and you didn’t remember I came from a big family. That’s not on you. Your focus was on our daughter and that’s exactly where it needed to be. What if I was just as lost as you were? Your panic and my panic would only make her feel like she has to cry more.” Aguero reached down and brushed the small tuft of hair on her head. “We would only scare her.”
Bam swallowed.
“But you shouldn’t show fear around a child or baby Bam.” Aguero gently lectured as he looked down at his husband. “They pick that stuff up and they start thinking that they have to be afraid to. If she falls and scrapes her knee and she looks at you for a reaction, try to smile. Try to ask if she’s okay and if she needs help to get up. Don’t make a big deal over it and exclaim that she should be crying or if she’s hurt. She watches us so she can understand how she’s supposed to react. If she’s crying and she’s hurt, we gotta remain steady because she needs us to be steady.”
“You know more about this than I do,” Bam said, still sulking.
“Big family,” Aguero’s hands squeezed Bam close. “I watched a lot of mistakes.”
He watched a lot of successes too.
“I’m so glad I’m here with you,” Bam said, sighing with relief and exhaustion. “But I should put her back to sleep before she’s supposed to feed.”
Aguero nodded solemnly, “I’ll wait for you in bed.” He dislodged himself from Bam but didn’t move until Bam started to walk.
Byeol barely made a whimper as she was set down into the crib, her breathing soft and gentle. Bam brushed her hair out of her eyes again as her tiny red lips were parted and drool dripped from the corner of her mouth. He wiped it away without a thought and slowly backed away from the nursery to head back into their big bedroom.
Aguero didn’t hesitate to wrap himself up against Bam’s body. “You’re a wonderful father, Bam,” Aguero said, sleepily. “Don’t you ever doubt that.”
Bam nodded and closed his eyes.
Moments later Byeol started crying again and this time Aguero got up without shaking Bam awake, ready and determined to win his daughter back over.