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Chapter Text

Peter stared at the white cracking wall and tried to prevent the few memories he had before hydra to not diminish into nothingness. If he spoke of his attempts to clutch onto the memories then hydra would put him in the chair again. Peter hated the chair. The memories were muddled and often held aspects that Peter believed were not true but as time past the lies and the truth blurred together giving Peter a sense of unknowing. He didn't know himself anymore, just what hydra wanted him to know. 

His legs were crossed and his back was straight, slouching was something that hydra sneered at. He had memorised the cracks on the wall like he had done everything in this room. He knew exactly how the cot beneath him creaked and if he had been asked to draw an identical replicate of each small indent in the wooden floor boards he could easily. His tutor told him he had a photographic memory yet Peter couldn't remember his past life.

He shut his eyes and heard the screams, were they the cries of his parents or his many victims he had killed under hydras influence. As much as he hated the chair he would take it over murdering consciously any day. 

He knew hydra killed his parents, they told him it was for the good of the world and that his father was meddling in business he did not understand. The soldier who told him that was never seen again and that's how Peter knew that was true. Peter remembered his name but no one ever called him by it. He preferred it that way, his name was something sacred given to him by his parents and was not to be tainted by hydra. Peter had carved his name into the wall behind his bedside locker in case he ever forgot it.

He remembered his parents loved him because that's why he was on the plane with them. They couldn't leave Peter behind and that was their fatal mistake as the plane landed with neither parent alive.

- September 2005

"Should we have left him at your brother's apartment, Richard? What if something goes wrong?" Mary Parker asked doubtfully as she hugged her only son tight to her chest. He was bundled in soft blanket, and Mary leaned him on her hip while she kept his head pressed close to her heart. He was four years old but was smaller then he should be for his age however his intelligence far surpasses the average four year old.

"We would only be putting them in danger" he dismisses but he and his wife both know that the reason Peter was with them was because they aren't strong willed enough to leave Peter after he cried and begged them to take him with them. Perhaps they should've been more pessimistic in their chance of survival but they had hoped they could reach Europe and settle down and keep their discoveries secret.

Peter listens with closed eyes but does not speak as he has nothing to add. He likes his days out with Uncle Ben and Aunt May, Ben would call him 'buddy' and give him high-fives while May would buy him his favourite ice cream but he couldn't not be with his parents, besides he had already learned French from a dictionary and textbook to his parents surprise, kids his age were only expected to be able to string together four to five worded sentences in their first language let alone a second. He hoped to see France's impressive land marks he had seen in a pop up book he was gifted.

His mother excused herself to go to the bathroom and left Peter watch his father typing quickly on his computer. There was a rhythm in which his father tapped the keys and his breathing matched up to it, Peter could tell his father was nervous because he was typing very fast, and therefore breathing very fast too.

"Stop that, it's creepy" he snapped, Peter frowned and turned his gaze down at his tiny shoes as the man gave a halfhearted apology. His father was stressed and acted nothing like the man who would play hide and seek with him around the house. 

The co pilot stood out from the cock-pit. His father didn't look up from his work but Peter watched as the man washed dark red blood off of his hands casually, he shot Peter a Cheshire Cat grin before raising a finger to his lips just like his father would when he told Peter to be quite. Peter was already quite and cocked his head in confusion, he gripped the yellow blanket around his shoulders tighter. Before he could voice his confusion to his father he saw the pilot click the lock of the bathroom shut on his mother.

"My mom's in there" he told the man, he must have mistaken the bathroom for being empty. His father's head shot up to look at the man. 

"What are you doing?" Richard spoke but the pilot reached into a previously hidden holster and pulled out a small pistol instead of answering. He aimed it at Richard with a lazy expression on his face.

His mother's knocks sounded from the other side of the door but the man ignored them. "Richard? I think the doors jammed!" She said and shook the door more.

"I'll delete it, I'll delete all of it" Richard threatened and held a finger above a computer key and took a step back.

"No you won't, unless you want your son to die" the pilot said and aimed the gun at Peter instead.

The plane started beeping and shaking due to the lack of pilot, mixed with his mothers banging and the gun pointed to his head was causing Peter an awful headache.

"Stop" he whispered but he saw his father reluctantly about to hand over the laptop.

"Please, just let my family go"

"Of course" the pilot said in a calm voice despite the havoc he had caused around him.

The pilot accepted the laptop then promptly shot a bullet through the bathroom door. The banging stopped and the sound of a body slumping against the door could be heard joint with blood flowing out from under the crack.

"Sorry the banging was getting annoying" the man smiled as his father yelled Mary's name and ran towards the door. He was slowed with a bullet to his calf and tripped so he was on the opposite side of the door, writhing in pain as his gripped his calf. He placed his palm on the bathroom door as if he could feel his wife's hand on the other side.

"Dad?" Peter called hesitantly from behind the seat. He was shocked and tears were running down his cheeks. He wanted to yell and cry but if the man didn't like banging, how would he feel about sobbing and screaming?

"P-please don't hurt him, h-he doesn't know anything-!" His fathers pleads for mercy were ended with a malicious shot to the head that made Peter scream. Not even the threat to his life could prevent the horse scream for his father coming out. The vacant look in his fathers eyes, the steady poor of red as his fathers chest stopped heaving and collapsed on the floor, staining it a deep red that would be hard to clean.

The pilot turned to Peter with an almost gentle smile, he completely ignored the scene he had just caused filled with death and murder in favour of waving delicately.  "Hello little boy" he said softly but his yellow teeth and much to pleased eyes made Peter cower behind the seat.

"The commander said you must come with me, we will get you a new family"

- 10 August 2007

Peter was pulled out of training where he was practicing his accuracy. Peter found it easy as he used math to calculate where the knife would hit with ease much to his trainers surprise. The other boys were bigger and stronger but held the knife clumsily and threw without the precision Peter had. Peter was small and was forced to wear contacts instead of the thick rimmed glasses he had been prescribed. After heavy fights he had to hide the inhaler he had to use to regain his breathe from the other boys and trainer.

He often had to use the other boys weights to his advantage during spars and used his speed to run circles around them and hit them some where vital so they would crumple with barely any force. His trainers would praise him and nickname him 'spider' due to his peers inability to crush him and his size, the trainers had came up with it from his fathers research but the other boys didn't know that.

He was led out of the hall and into another pristine white hallway, despite there nearness to identical Peter remembered them all by the names he has given them. The names consisted purely of the number of steps it took to reach the end of one and allowed Peter to understand the building more throughly.

A new soldier led him through hallway 25 towards the Commander's office in a military like march while holding a rifle across his chest. You would think the precautions weren't necessary but after only two years of training and brainwashing Peter could probably take the larger man if he was unarmed.

They reached the Commanders room only to take a right turn into hallway 15 towards the medical wing. Peter had only been there once when they gave him his contacts instead of the glasses but normally he was forced to take care of his own injuries in the small bathroom beside his room that he shared with two other boys with a severely lacking medkit. Peter had to learn the hard way that you must clean cuts before you stitch them up but he wasn't allowed training off even with an infection.

The Commander stood tall and intimidating inside the medical wing and watched Peter enter with a smug smile. He ushered the soldier away and told Peter to set on the chair you would often see at dentists.

"I see my soldiers are calling you 'Spider', number 9" the commander said with a raised bushy eyebrow "do you know why that is?" The man asked. Every boy had a number and Peter suspected the girls who practiced ballet in the red room beside theirs also had numbers. Few kids had nicknames as you had to earn them. Number 3, a boy who shared a room with Peter earned the name "macho" after he did a diving elbow drop on someone. The soldiers found it funny and Peter remembered hazily that a wrestler popularised that move, number 3 was probably named after him.

"They say I am small and can not be crushed sir" he said after a brief pause suggesting that it was a question Peter was expected to answer. He did so while looking the man in the eye out of respect and with his back straight with his hands clamped behind it, how he was expected to stand in training but it felt off while he was sitting on a chair.

"But?" The man prompted, obviously knowing that Peter knew the real reason.

"Richard Parker did extensive research on spider DNA sir" Peter said, refraining from calling him his father, hydra said that they were his new family but they didn't make him feel safe or cared for like his old one did.

"Indeed" the Commander spoke while adding a yellowish serum into a syringe "do you understand why we didn't kill you?" He said but Peter didn't respond as he noticed it was a question not to be answered. A rhetorical question is what his tutor had called it but Peter found it difficult to differentiate between a rhetorical question and one to be answered, why ask a question if you don't want an answer? "your father made our lives very difficult, by injecting the spiders with his own DNA, do you know what this means?"

Peter answers this time "only I can be injected with it without being killed" he said and refrained from letting the tremor in his voice out, knowing the man wouldn't appreciate it.

"Exactly, lucky for us you've proven yourself as quite the little scholar, not to mention your 'spider' like fighting style makes you one of the best fighters in your group" he said but his tone was cold despite the compliments.

"We feel you're finally ready for the spiders venom" he whispered so Peter could barely hear.

Peter stopped himself from shivering as the man pulled up the black sleeve, part of the uniform they were made to wear along with the black cargo pants and black boots. He didn't flinch as the cold needle was pressed against his skin and the thick venom entered his blood stream.

"Happy birthday, Spider"

-January 2011

Peter watched as a tiny money spider lowered down on a delicate white web in front of the crack in the wall he was intently watching. The spider spun elegantly and Peter raised a hand for it to land on. He watched with a smile as it scurried across his hand and how Peter's small scars acted as hills for the minuscule spider. He brought the spider to eye level and turned his hand as it ran up and down, careful to not let it up his sleeve.

"Finally found yourself a friend?" Number 3 asked. Peter hated calling 3 macho purely because 3 hated not being called macho. Plus it sounded stupid. Peter felt a scowl on his face but made no move to respond. As they got older they made it only two in each room as fights were breaking out daily and though hydra encouraged this at first it made the boys slower at training as they limped and flinched. Peter had hoped he would get placed with a quite boy but had no such luck. 

"Freaky" he mumbled in German, probably his first language but he would be looking for death speaking it around a soldier. The commander wanted everyone to speak Russian but most of the boys are more familiar with English. However most can speak at least three. The base was originated in Russia but hydra had used the Nazis in the Second World War. It confused Peter and with his censored sources it was hard to make understanding of it.

Peter ignored him, he had been resentful of Peter since they had met but even more so after Peter's 6th birthday when he got his serum. Ever since Captain America, hydra had been digging to find ways in which to create more super-soldiers and to replicate the super serum. This operation was a success, The Winter Soldier was proof of that. But if hydra were anything, they were greedy. They latched onto that serum and tried to improve it. To have the most powerful balance of power, agility, strength, and intelligence. They ran infinite tests to reach this result but they finally found their answer with Richards research, they were furious when they found out he put his own DNA into it and they could only inject Peter with it.

Number 3 was jealous of Peter, you had to exceed in your age group to get even experimented on as they did not want to have a super soldier who couldn't throw a punch. They were careful who they experimented on and those who succeeded like Peter and the Winter Soldier were...controlled harshly so they were forced to comply to hydras wants.

Peter heard a heart beat and stomps that were both increasing in volume, a soldier burst through the door and Peter smirked as he watched 3 startle then try and play it off. Peter hid his sigh as he stood up with his back straight and hands behind his back and watched with the corner of his eye as 3 stumbled to do the same.

"Spider, you will be moving rooms" he barked in harsh Russian leaving both boys to look confused. "Hurry" the soldier yelled causing Peter to take action and shove his uniform and books into a duffle he kept for missions. The duffle also held his favourite weapons. 

Peter won't lie to himself and say he enjoys the thought of killing like most boys brought up here do but he does like the weapons. He cleans each sleek silver knife after missions and sharpens them just right, he dismantled a gun when he was younger to see how it worked and ever since have been doing it to add improvements, he loves to take care of them as they are one of his few sole possessions that are uniquely his, no one else has a gun with such little recoil or a knife that moves through the air as finely as his. His favourite weapon however is his web shooters. He made them from just scraps he was able to steal when he was meant to be repairing guns and he made the web from chemicals he stole while scouting through the vents. The chemical formula took ages to perfect and he keeps them at the bottom of his duffle and only uses it for stealth missions where it's not a necessity to kill, hydra would hate them because they always tell him to kill either way, the web shooters give room for mercy and hydra looks down on mercy.

He was shoved out of the room with his duffle on his shoulder. He's jostled down hallway 18 then hallway 11 and finally a hallway he had never been down before but he counted 34 steps and deemed it a name. At the end of the long hallway was a metal door with a metal eyehole that was currently closed. Peter watched in confusion as the man slid back the piece of metal and a dark room was barely visible through it.

"Soldat, you have a new roommate" he mocked through the hole and got no response.

The man shrugged and shoved open the door and tried to push Peter in. Peter stood still, his ability to stick to surfaces and strength didn't let him get pushed around, he turned to give the soldier a withering glare and walked in with his head high. Nothing could be worse then 3.

He vastly miscalculated.

He was me with the winter soldier's icy blue glare.

Well first impressions count, and Peter's gained an attitude from god knows where over the years.

"Hi! Guess we're roomies, you can call me...whatever" he said overly happy considering he was in hydra and was talking to the winter soldier. He didn't want to be called spider but he did not trust the soldier with his real name.

The man looked down at his knees. He was sitting in a corner with his knees to his chest. 

Ah well worth a try.

Peter turned to the smaller extra bed in the room and threw his duffle onto it. He started unpacking.

"Hello whatever" the man said. His voice was deep and horse.

Peter turned around "no I didn't mean- my name is not whatever obviously but I don't like the- ugh never mind" be stumbled out, then he noticed the man's shoulders shaking, with a start he realised the winter soldier was laughing. "And you knew that" he said feeling like an idiot.

The man nodded then looked down at his knees, seemingly done with the weird and short conversation.

Wow even the winter soldier was better then 3.

Chapter Text

The winter soldier did not talk and when the soldiers informed them that he would be training Peter for now on he made a noncommittal noise and nodded, Peter heard the soldiers mutter about his lack of respect and thought it was a bit rich considering how they treat the winter soldier. Peter didn't mind all that much that the winter soldier didn't talk, he liked the quite, it didn't interrupt his reading. The winter soldiers breath was quick when a soldier came to the door and it became even more erratic when they addressed him  directly, but as long as Peter's been sharing this room they've never brought the winter soldier out for a mission.

Peter read a lot in his knew room, he wasn't afraid  number 3 could get his grimy hands on his books anymore and it relaxed him to read. His books were so painfully obviously edited to make hydra look like the good guys and to emphasise the soldiers part in wars. Peter didn't believe it for a second but didn't mind all that much because it still held the general story. Sadly they only provided him with books to brainwash him or to increase his knowledge and nothing for just enjoyment, but that doesn't mean he didn't enjoy them. He did enjoy retaining the information but he wished to read a book like he had remembered reading before hydra with dystopian worlds and ideal realities, somewhere to escape to.

He was reading through a book on advanced chemistry when a knock sounded on the metal door. The winter soldier made no move to look up but his shoulders tensed and his heartbeat quickened. The winter soldier was curled in the corner again and fumbling with the dog tags around his neck while mumbling quietly to himself. Peter could only hear if he strained but felt it was a bit of an intrusion to listen when the soldier already had so much of his right to privacy stripped from him already. That didn't stop him from catching bits involuntary such as repeated names. 'Steve' and 'Becca' were mentioned a lot.

Peter looked up to see the metal door creak and a soldier with light stubble and stern eyes appear. The winter soldiers heartbeat quickened to a worrying level and Peter was almost happy when the gun was pointed at Peter himself, the man obviously couldn't deal with it today. That couldn't stop the dread pool in his stomach as the man shifted the gun and pressed himself against the frame indicating for Peter to come. The soldier looked up with sad eyes as he watched Peter grab his duffle and follow the soldier.

The soldier said nothing as expected and Peter's worse fears were confirmed when the lead them down hallway 56, an incredibly long hallway that only had one destination. He restrained a shudder as he watched his combat boots put one boot in front of the other and steadily made his way down the white hallway. The lights were bright white and burned his eyes while the echoing footsteps harassed his ears. The whole experience was horrible yet he willed it to drag on instead of meeting the destination.

The room at the end of the hallway was a small room, it appeared non threatening at first but a large chair with many restraints was in the centre. Along side it was a long metal table filled with daunting medical equipment.

The commander stood beside the chair, the man only made appearances for missions or major events and he stood with a sharp yellow smile and dark eyes. 

"Spider, I have a mission for you" he says as if Peter should be jumping in joy and thanking him profusely for such an opportunity. Peter nods stiffly instead.

His smile only widens "would you prefer to be in control for this one, Spider?" he asked. He always asks in hope that one day Peter will take him up on the offer and be what he believes Peter is destined to be, Hydras Greatest Assassin, a person -no a weapon- who voluntarily goes out and kills all hydra's enemy's with ease and is not suspected. Peter can do all of that besides the voluntarily part.

"No thank you, sir" Peter says quietly as he eyes the chair that will keep him in place with dread.

"It's a shame Spider" the commander starts and suddenly the guard is shoving Peter into the seat and the shackles go over his hands. They are made of vibranium so Peter can't break them. Peter struggles at the uncomfortable grip they have on him. "You really are special you know, ever since you were a kid, you surprised all of us with your potential despite our first impressions" he drawls and more restraints start digging into place around his body "it's a shame, I wish you could enjoy it" he says while feigning a sad pout. Peter almost spits a snarky reply but the mouth guard is shoved into his open jaw and saves him from himself. He feels his chest heave and his palms grow sweaty but he won't show weakness yet. 

The mouth guard is to prevent Peter from crushing his own teeth which is almost kind for hydra but it makes it even harder to breathe as Peter goes into his inevitable panic.

"Others would jump at this opportunity, you're just too compassionate" he says and spits 'compassionate' as if it's a filthy curse. Peter shuts his eyes to prevent tears rolling out as the metal digs into his skin to hold his head in space.

"Let's make you your better self" he whispers in Russian, far too close to Peter for his liking.

"красный" the commander says much to gently as Peter squirms and feels a tear drop down his cheek, past his eyelids that are screwed shut. His breathing is laboured and everything hurts.

"самолет" 

Peter tried to calm down and allow it to happen, every time this happens he thinks next time he will just suck it up and kill some body but every time the time comes he ops for the words.

"четыре"

Raw shouts get smothered by the guard in his mouth and wrangle into horse grunts as he flexed his muscles trying to get free.

"компьютер"

Peter's neck strained as his head tried to shove back from the pain and the coarse screams interrupted the quite of the room.

"дверь"

No no no. He could feel his mind slip from his grasp and his head was pounding in confusion as his yells tore at his throat.

"замок"

He heard the hydra soldier laugh.

"наука"

His whole body was shaking under the restraints .

"удалять"

His mind felt like it was running away from him and every time he nearly caught it, it sped up.

"покинуть"

He screamed, final, pathetic attempts to make it all stop.

"идти"

Spider stopped mid scream and stopped struggling against his restraints. Tears stopped flowing down his cheeks and all the restraints  began to move away from him. He stood, back straight, arms clasped behind his back.

"Ready to comply"

Spider's voice was cold and apathetic.

The commander grinned and the soldier smirked. 

"Perfect"

_

On the way back his memories started easing back, not that he had many anyway. He usually carved the important stuff into the wall where the hydra men wouldn't see it. He sat on the floor of the van and held his head in his hands. The memories of his mission came back and he tried to put up a barrier. He didn't want to remember.

He still felt so empty but he wouldn't mindlessly follow the soldiers orders. He would follow orders with his own mind just so they don't put him back in the chair.

Okay what did he know?

His name isn't spider, it can't be spider he hated spider. He pinched the bridge of his nose. Like a snap it came back to him. Peter. Yes Peter. He is 10 years old.

The winter soldiers icy blue glare pierced his memories. Right, he was sharing a room with that guy. 

His parents were dead but loved him.

The rest was irrelevant and would come back to him in time anyway, at least before his next mission. The winter soldier has been doing this for decades and between being put in the cyrotasis chamber. Normally they cryogenically freeze him straight after missions but now he's training Peter and has his own room instead. The winter soldier is getting prepared for something big, that's why he's so scared when the soldier comes to the door. They only ever take Peter out for missions. The winter soldiers memories withered with each freeze and brainwashing so that he only has scraps and names. He can tell the winter soldier is trying to keep the names from his fervent mutterings. Maybe he should carve stuff on the wall like Peter now that he has a wall. Peter's surprised the soldier has memories at all. Steve and Becca must be very important to him.

Peter's headache only increases with each pothole and speed bump and his mind is screaming at the drivers to just stop swerving around corners so hard, he doesn't have a seat or belt so he's just loose in the back. Luckily he can stick to the ground so he doesn't go flying. Finally it stops and Peter pretends to be Spider again as he walks through the underground bunker, staring ahead with vacant eyes. There was a soldier before him and one behind. Peter thought he could escape but he has no idea where they are, they could be in Africa for all he knew. Plus hydra are his family right? as much as he believes their views are wrong they still provide him with food, clothes and most of the necessities. That has to count for something. And if he leaves his family will track him down and bring him back, hydra are everywhere. Peter even knows that they have infiltrated shield.

He gets shoved into his and the winter soldiers room where the winter soldier eyes him warily. Peter gives a small wave, knowing that if he tried to smile it would look like he is bearing his teeth, he can only base what a smile looks like off of books he has read.

The soldiers eyes go a small bit softer but Peter knows he looks bad and feels it too. He killed someone today, he doesn't know who or how or even if there was more then one but he feels horrible. 

Peter heads to the tiny bathroom they share and gets out the medkit. He has a terrible cut he needs to stitch up if he wants his healing to heal it quickly and with as little scarring as possible. He hoped that when healing was a side effect of the spider venom that it wouldn't leave scars but even though it healed unnaturally quickly it left thin silver scars like a little signature of its work. It would heal even if he didn't stitch it up, but having a gaping wound is just annoying so he might as well stitch it until it's done.

His hands are shaking annoyingly as he holds the medical needle above the gash on his tight and he runs a huge risk of accidentally stabbing the wound instead of the skin around it. This is how it always was though, after being controlled for so long his senses go haywire and suddenly he can't sit still as his breathing is uneven and he's trying to gulp in the fresh air.

His finger fumbles and the needle falls to the floor, clattering loudly, or at least loudly to Peter's enhanced senses. He lets out a groan of frustration with his hands pressed into his eyes. He takes a minute to even his breathing then retrieve the needle he dropped. Great now he has to sanitise it again. 

He jumps when he opens his eyes and sees the winter soldier holding the needle with an apprehensive look on his face. "You won't be able to stitch that" he says gruffly.

"I've done it before" Peter says once he's over the initial surprise. Normally no one can creep up on him but he was so caught up in his own frustration he didn't notice the winter soldier right in front of him.

"I have too, never works well. Hands always shake after...missions" he grunts. The man speaks in English, not unusual between the younger boys but you would expect the winter soldier to speak the commanders language. He spoke gruffly and low but it was obviously his first language. His accent was American, like Peter's when he didn't bother cover it but Peter struggled to remember where that accent was exactly from in America, maybe New York like Peter?

Still where was he going with this? Peter didn't like stitching his leg up with hands like a caffeine addicts but what was he going to do, bleed out on his bed? 

"Sit still" the winter soldier says.

"I am sitting still- Ay! What're you doing?" Peter exclaimed as the winter soldier jabbed the needle into his leg-with steady hands- and pulled the thread through. Peter bit his lip so he wouldn't yelp, he hated the sensation of stitches but he wasn't unused to it. 

"Stitching you up, and you aren't sitting still" he grumbled.

"Am too" Peter said immaturely and the soldier rolled his eyes.

Peter didn't really know what to say after that but it was pretty awkward with an infamous assassin stitching up his leg.

"Soo what's your name?" Peter asked and internally winced at how dumb it sounds.

The soldier froze for a moment as if contemplating what to say. He looked up at Peter as if trying to figure out why he would want to know.

"Sorry it feels a bit insensitive to call you the winter soldier all the time, I don't like being called spider" Peter shrugged and wondered why he was even trying to make conversation.

"You never address me anyway, we don't speak" he mumbled and went back to stitching the huge cut while Peter pretended it didn't hurt. Hydra don't provide anything to numb it but Peter's had worse.

"Yeah well my internal monologue is tired of calling you the winter soldier, it's a bit of a mouth full you know?" Peter said truthfully.

"James, I think, that's what my dog tags say" he says quietly so if Peter didn't have super hearing he would have to ask him to repeat.

"James, huh? nice ring to it" Peter nodded.

"What do you like to be called? since you don't like spider" James said and Peter felt his eyebrows rise in surprise, he didn't think James would actually ask questions, he didn't think James even wanted to converse in the first place.

Peter wondered if he should trust him but he seemed good despite his reputation. He's a bit like Peter really, he doesn't seem like he wants to do what hydra says. "You won't tell anyone?" Peter says sounding like a child even to himself.

James lets out a short dry chuckle, as if he doesn't really know how to laugh "no I won't" he said.

"My name is Peter" Peter said, it sounded weird to say it out loud but not bad.

James nodded but said nothing else as he finished up the stitching cleaned the smaller of Peter's cuts while he was at it.

"Get to sleep, we have training in the morning" he said in his usual gruff voice and stood up off the bathroom floor.

When the lights flashed out and Peter was lying on the poor excuse of a mattress he spoke again "good night James" he said, not really expecting an answer. 

He didn't get an answer for nearly a minute

then he heard his quite voice again "night Peter"

Chapter Text

James had different ways of training then Peter's previous trainers. He would show him new moves and proper stances that he never learnt because he was so used to his old fighting style that was all precision and no strength. However now that he had the ability to stop even James's punches with his metal arm, James saw fit that he learned to control his new strength. The other trainers merely set a bunch of agents on him and asked him to fight himself out of it while Peter tried not to attack with any fatal blows.

But between James's training and Peter's missions there was a lot of free time. Normally it consisted of James just sitting on his bed or curling himself into the corner while Peter stared aimlessly at the ceiling, taking care of his weapons or reading. Currently he was reading The Hobbit, he wasn't given this book by his tutor but he swiped it from a random bookshelf he found while scouting through the vents, James obviously noticed Peter's little outings but said nothing besides watching him take away the door of the vent and crawl in. If hydra didn't want him having all access they shouldn't of made it so easy.

"What are you reading?" James asked while he stared at the wall and wrung his hands mindlessly. 

"Uh The Hobbit, have you read it?" Peter said then instantly remembered James has been in hydra since world war 2 and probably hadn't read anything since the forties.

"Mmm I read it when it first came out" he said and Peter internally slapped himself on the face, right it was released back then.

"Did you like it? I'm only a few pages in" Peter said, it was a nice change from the other books, this had all kinds of mystical creatures and bizarre characters.

“Think so, I only read it because Steve was obsessed with it" James said and Peter didn't even think he noticed he was fumbling with his dog tags. Peter only realised then that he had two sets swinging from his neck.

“Who’s Steve?” Peter asked, it’s something he’s been wondering a while as well as who ‘Becca’ was but since he only heard the names while James was muttering to himself he thought it would be rude to ask.

James stared blankly at the wall “I don’t know” he said simply. 

Peter hated this, hated all of this. What they did to James was horrible, he couldn’t even remember his loved ones and once Peter comes of age the same will become of him. In fact it’s already happening to him as memories of his previous life slip out of his grasp.

“I’m sorry” Peter said, it’s all he could offer the man.

“It’s not your fault, it’s Hydra’s. Everything is Hydra’s fault” he said venomously as he determinedly stared at the wall. “Never trust Hydra, Peter, okay?”

Peter hesitated for a second before answering “but Hydra are family” he said doubtfully. Something that has been told to him over and over again but it doesn’t feel like a family, it doesn’t feel like his old one did.

“No” James almost growls “family care and love for you. They don’t implant words in your brain to turn you into a mindless killing machine” he spat he was clinging to his chain so that it dug into his skin. He didn’t speak for a moment and neither did Peter. “I think Steve was family” he mumbled lightly.

“Hydra killed my family” Peter said. James’s words were like a seed of rebellion growing in his chest. Hydra weren’t family, Hydra killed his family.

James finally looked up to him. People always said the winter soldier had grey eyes, like steel. They weren’t though, they were a dull blue, once bright that were beaten down after many years. Peter saw a glimpse of the warmth that must’ve once filled him when he gave him a sorrowful look. 

“I’m sorry” he said, just like how Peter had done.

“It’s Hydra’s fault” Peter responded, just like how James had done. James gave him a tight lipped smile.

“I think by now, everyone I know is dead” James said.

Peter didn’t know what to think of that. The man couldn’t even have the memories of his loved ones since they were taken too.

“It’s all Hydra’s fault” James grumbled and pulled the scratchy blanket over him. Peter pulled his own blanket onto him and put the book under the bed.

“When you are smaller, you must be quicker” James said while aiming a punch to Peter’s face. He didn’t pull his punches which Peter appreciated. They were focussing on hand to hand combat which definitely wasn’t one of Peter’s strong points.

Peter dodged his punch and sent one back, James blocked it with his arm and stepped forward to send another punch that Peter barely dodged with the help of his sixth sense.

“Quicker” James pressured as Peter struggled to keep up with the quick exchange of punches, blocks and dodges. Peter got hit on the jaw once he was distracted by his hand being caught in James’s other hand.

They both took a step back to catch a breathe. James motioned him back with his hand “again”

They went again, and again. James beating him each time until finally Peter caught him off guard but only managed to get a hit to the shoulder.

James grinned “better, again” upon seeing Peter’s tired expression he rolled his eyes “don’t give me that look, we aren’t going back until you beat me properly” he said.

“But I’ve never beat you!”

“Let’s make this a first then” he said and Peter readied up again in the stance James had thought him.

Peter dodged a few but didn’t send any back as he kept up his defence. Finally he sent a punch to James’s cheekbone, James went to block, easily anticipating the attack while Peter pulled his punch back without even letting it be blocked while simultaneously sending a punch with his left hand and managing to get a weak punch on his chin that James was only able to semi dodge by rolling with the punch.

“Perfect, keep going like this and you will be the best fighter in the world” James said and patted his shoulder. As promised they headed back to the room while being escorted by several guards.

“I don’t think I want to be the best fighter in the world” Peter said as he collapsed on the bed either exhaustion.

“No?”

“No, I would rather be the best at something else” Peter said thoughtfully.

“And what would that be?” James said distractedly as he squirted toothpaste onto his toothbrush.

“I don’t know, maybe the best fighter but I would use it to help people” Peter said and finally stood up. He still had to brush his teeth before bed.

The sight was a funny one, highly dangerous assassin, the winter soldier, with a frothy toothpaste smile and a tooth brush sticking from his mouth. “To help people?” He asked amused.

“Mm my dad brought me to a stark expo once, but this guy, Justin Hammer I think set off rogue robots. I had this iron man mask on and a fake repulser and I held up my hand and faced the thing that was about to kill me head on” Peter recounted. The memory was hazy but sometimes some memories were more prominent then others.

“Iron man dropped down behind me and blasted the robot and he was like ‘nice work kid’. made my day” Peter said with a smile.

James smiled along but it was obvious he was confused by who Ironman was.

“Ironman is this super hero, he saves the world in this cool robotic suit” Peter explained and James just nodded a long with a small smile like the prospect was crazy.

“I- I think I remember going to a stark expo too, he had flying cars or something” he says but shakes his head in frustration with the lack of memories.

“Howard Stark?” Peter guesses and the man’s face lights up.

“Yeah that’s seems right” he says contently.

Peter shuffles to bed with a yawn and takes his book out from under the bed only for it to be yanked upwards out of his reach.

“You need to sleep” James said at Peter’s protests.

“I don’t want to sleep” Peter said annoyed as he tries to get his book back.

“Nightmares?” James says with a raised eyebrow and Peter looks away shamefully.

“I’ll wake you up if you get one, I promise” he says and finally Peter nodded reluctantly. After a few minutes of lying in bed the lights go off in their room meaning it’s 9 o clock. They will power on again at 5am.

Peter let’s the exhaustion from training wash over him and feels his eyes become droopy.

His vision is hazy and not exact as he looks through the circular scope of a sniper. It’s trailing a business man down the street of a populated city.

“Shoot when he reaches the building spider, then come back to the van immediately” the voice seemed far away but Peter heard it loud and clear.

He followed the man till he reached a large sky scraper. His finger was on the trigger as his brain was yelling don’t do it but his body want obeying. The shot was exact and Peter watched in slow motion as it hit the unknowing man straight in the temple with a barely audible sound due to the silencer attached.

The man dropped to the ground but before the bustling streets noticed two men dressed in black caught him under the arms and brought him out of sight. No no no what has he done.

“Spider report back to the van”

Someone was yelling at him but he was webbing along the rooftops towards the van.

“Peter!”

Peter jolted awake to see James’s concerned face looming over him.

“W-what?”

“You had a nightmare so I woke you up” he said as Peter sat up rubbing his eyes. It hadn’t felt like a nightmare…more like a memory.

“Thank you” Peter whispered.

James nodded.

“Alright shove over” he said eventually.

“Huh?”

“You heard me” he said and Peter squished closer to the wall to allow James room on his bed.

“I think I remember stuff bout Steve” James said as he used his arms to prop himself up alongside Peter in his bed.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah” he said happily. Peter was glad that the memories he lost weren’t gone for good. It seems that some are crawling back.

“He was small, real small only up to bout my shoulder, barely- bit like you actually” he teased and Peter shoved him lightly so he nearly fell out of the small bed that wasn’t beg enough for one person let alone two. “He had to put newspaper in his shoes and he was always getting ill” James recounted calmly “had every sickness you could dream of and not nearly enough money or food to help him, not to mention he was always getting into fights he couldn’t win” James said as Peter’s eyes grew heavy once again.

“So in his state you would think he would stay home and keep safe right?” James said and Peter nodded in agreement.

“No, he joined the army” he said and threw up his arms in exasperation as Peter laughed tiredly by his side.

“How’d he even get in?”

“Beats me, the little shit didn’t even complete basic because of his asthma…then he did something but I uh I can’t remember” James trailed off with a disappointed look on his face.

“That’s okay, thank you for telling me James” Peter mumbled, already falling asleep on his shoulder.

Chapter Text

When the winter soldier saw the kid walk in for the first time he was utterly baffled. This kid, said to be ten but looked closer to seven had the standard hydra assassin uniform on and waved gently at him despite the guard glaring daggers at him from behind. The kid stumbled to introduce himself and didn’t give a name at all in the end. Maybe he was like the winter soldier and resented the name hydra had given him, sure he remembered his old name was James but that was the name of the man who fought for what was right with his friends and family beside him. Not the man who was slowly withering away under hydra’s control utterly alone.

After decades upon decades he was always alone in hydra, so colour him surprise when they toss a kid into his cell with no instructions. The kid wasn’t like the rest of hydra though, he had this look in his eyes that the winter soldiers was surprised wasn’t crushed by hydra. Hope? Maybe. The winter soldier hadn’t seen hope in a long time.

So even the winter soldier was surprised when he briefly stopped trying to cling onto every memory that resurfaced to crack a joke at the surprised kid. And not just any joke. A dad joke.

Having the kid around wasn’t bad, in fact it was kinda nice not being stuck in his head all the time and having someone else in his presence.

It wasn’t the kid that put him on edge, it was the soldiers.

The winter soldier normally went into the freezing tank straight after missions leaving his memories blurry and misleading. But now he has been left out for nearly three months. Something big was coming, he hasn’t even been on a mission yet. Peter has though, every time he comes back he is injured and has a look on his face that suggests the words have been used on him and he was trying to remember his life. How had the kid even end up here in hydra, let alone with the winter soldier.

He was surprised to see Peter’s strength and agility in training and even more surprised hydra had never thought him to use his obviously enhanced abilities to his advantage. The kid was all dodge and sneaky attacks. Like a spider, the soldiers said.

He was even more surprised to see him stick to the wall casually and slide into the tiny vent. The winter soldier had noticed the vent before, he liked to scan every room for possible escape routes when he entered but the vent was deemed useless under his inspection, purely because of how small it was. Only big enough to fit a flexible under grown ten year old. The kid had only used the vents to get a book. The Hobbit. Weird.

Even though they never spoke, the winter soldier enjoyed his presence and when he came home from a mission covered in injuries with a dazed look on his face the winter soldier found himself, concerned? Worried? 

He tried to shake himself out of the feeling. He was the winter soldier he was apathetic, he didn’t feel anything especially nothing good. Then he heard a small cry of frustrating and the clang of metal on the floor and he found himself inching his way to the bathroom.

The kid had a massive gash on his thigh that was pooling deep red blood. His hands were shaking like the winter soldier’s would once he came back to himself after a mission. They used to give him a half hour to clear himself up and then stick him back in the chamber. Every time he had crooked stitches and wonky bandages.

He found himself crouching in front of the small boy and using his own steady hands to stitch up his leg.

Quickly he found the kid couldn’t keep his mouth shut in awkward situations. He definitely got a few beatings for the mouth of his from soldiers.

He asked his name. Something in him told him not say anything. They always ask you easy questions first to loosen you up then you find yourself answering more and more until you gave your whole story away. He knew this because he had used this tactic before. But no, this was a kid. A kid asking his name because it was common courtesy. He held some innocence to him even if he had experienced more in the short decade of his life then most people had in their entire long life and yet he was asking his name.

He must’ve picked up on his hesitation. He said he didn’t like being called spider and he therefore thought it was insensitive to call him the winter soldier. Insensitive. Huh. No one has thought about his feelings in a long time, not even he himself. So he told him his real name, well his old name.

“Nice ring to it” he had said.

After that he had started calling him James, and the winter soldier had started calling him Peter. The kid also seemed reluctant to hand over his name. But he understood, hydra takes so much that you must cling onto whatever you can call your own.

James grew fond of the kid quickly after that. He found himself teaching him what he had taught Steve. He found Steve getting the shit beat out of him and taking it as gracefully as a skinny asthmatic kid could. He refused to stand down so James had thought he might as well teach him some tricks so he could hold his own as best he could.

Peter was a bit like Steve. He was good, despite the world pushing him down. They were both small but Peter was quick and strong while Steve was not so much. They were both passionate and caring. They reminded James of one thing distinctly. Family.

He found himself chatting with Peter one night. They both spoke of the pain hydra had caused them, something that could get them killed if heard by a soldier. Peter had said hydra were family. James hated that. Hydra had done so much to wrong this small boy and they had over and over again planted the idea that they were family into his head. That he was wrong to hate them for what they did. Peter was smart, not just intelligent with logistics but emotionally smart as well. He knew somewhere that hydra were never family and James only had to reinforce that thought.

James found himself trusting the boy, quicker then had trusted anyone. He doesn’t think he even trusted anyone anymore. He had seen Peter reading the hobbit, curled up in his bed, engrossed in the book he had barely started. His hair hung over his eyes and James couldn’t help himself in thinking it reminded him so much of Steve. 

He mentioned Steve had loved the book. Peter asked who Steve was. James didn’t think he knew who Steve was either. The only thing that proves Steve wasn’t just a figment of his imagination to keep him sane during his days with hydra was the silver dog tag that hung alongside his own around his neck. Steven Grant Rogers. Hope that someone had cared for him. Hope that some day they would meet again.

James found himself acting almost like a big brother around Peter. Teasing him jokingly while also making sure he was cared for even in a hell hole like hydra. 

Peter gets nightmares. Nearly every night. Always after missions. While this might be worrisome for any other kid it was only to be expected of Peter. Hell, even James got nightmares just as often. He woke up to Peter’s frantic mutterings. He was obviously blaming something on himself, perhaps he was dreaming of a mission where they made him kill? James knows that Peter is nothing like hydra because he hates the idea of killing. He simply refuses to kill. So while James is forced to have the words used on him because he is sure to escape if not under their influence, Peter has them used on him because if he doesn’t, he will not do the mission. Simple as.

James quickly woke him up and helped Peter calm down. He knew what it was like waking up from a nightmare. He needed comfort and care but most of all a distraction. He invited himself onto the hard mattress and answered his previous question. He told him about Steve, he surprised himself that he could recall stuff in such detail. He found himself laughing at the memories as Peter nodded off on his shoulder. He didn’t wake up from nightmares after that and James took it as a success.

When James woke up the next morning Peter seemed more energised then he did in a long time. He had his book propped up against the taps of the sink (James was amazed it didn’t fall) as he washed his hair. They didn’t really have a proper shower, they had a sink and some washcloths and a three in one bottle of shampoo, conditioner and body wash. Peter didn’t even seem phased that his book was getting completely soaked as well as his shit as his hair was sudsed up in all angles.

“I had a friend who would scream if they saw you harming an innocent book like that” James said but he had no idea who the friend was.

Peter smiled sheepishly “it just shows that it’s well loved” he said and dipped his head low to wash out the sudds.

“You drowned it! How is that love?” James said and awkwardly manoeuvred around the boy who was shaking his hair like a dog trying to get dry. Considering it was a tiny bathroom he wasn’t successful in dodging the water.

“It was taking a bath” he defended and ignored James throwing him a glare as he got water droplets at him.

“Whatever whatever, you better be ready for training in ten minutes tops kid, okay?” He said with an eye roll “and put a towel around your shoulders before you get a cold” he added as he got ready himself in the main part of the cell.

“Yep! And I can’t get a cold, improved immune system” he said.

“Yeah well I’m getting a cold just looken at ya”

“Pretty sure you can’t get a cold either” Peter said but took out a scruffy towel and dried off his hair best he could. “Better?”

James nodded, ignoring Peter’s smug look. We’ll see how smug he is after training little twerp.

James heard footsteps and pulled on his boots. He had thought the footsteps would be a soldier to escort them but instead he saw the commander standing tall at the door.

The colour drained from his face as he was met with his cold eyes and satisfied smirk. Peter stumbled out of the bathroom, hair still wet. His eyes widened when he saw the commander and he instantly stood to attention and ignored the water droplet running down his nose.

“Spider, I have something planned for us today” he said so sickeningly sweet that if a stranger were to hear it they would think it was just a fun day out. Both of them knew better however and he saw Peter’s hands tremble as he nodded and headed for his mission bag filled with weapons.

“Oh we won’t be needing those today, I just have someone I would like you to meet” he reassured but his kind tone was overlooked by the malicious look in his eyes. James felt a surge of protectiveness but knew trying to keep Peter here with him would not only fail but make matters worse. He watched Peter nod stiffly and follow the commander out the door. The metal shut with a deafening clang as both figures left the room and James was left alone with his own imagination.

Chapter Text

Peter gave a curt nod to the commander and resisted the urge to tell James everything would be all right. It would only be a waste of breath, nothings alright in hydra, besides the commander would punish him for speaking out of turn, especially to the winter soldier.

He told himself the shiver he felt down his spine was from the cold and not fear. It’s easy to believe given that the underground bunker is constantly cold but over years Peter has become used to the goosebumps and numb fingers. It’s worse in the night however and he only has a itchy blanket to protect himself from the cold air, occasionally however he also has James's body heat (after nightmares) to warm him up.

He followed the commander through a hallway that he hadn't been down since he trained with the other kids his age. Bad memories resurfaced, sure he could fight all the boys with both hands tied behind his back now, but back then when he was a tiny asthmatic kid who had the nerve to beat them in a fight once or twice in training, he couldn't fight off four bulky boys with malicious intent.

He spent those days covered in bruises and cuts. He was always tired and it made his attempts in training sloppier. Which not only meant getting beat up by his sparring patterned, but also getting punished by the trainer as well. Until he got injected by venom. After that everyone avoided him like the plague. Maybe it was because of the muscles that that were no longer wiry and unusual looking, or maybe it was the utter look of defeat in his eyes. You can't break something that's already broken, only try and put it back together. The only person who attempted that was James.

The gym they entered was the one he used to train in, sure enough all the boys were lined up against a wall. They had all grown and they looked stronger and taller then ever. They were all no doubt bigger then Peter, Peter however was still stronger, more clever, more agile and quicker in every way. None of the rest of them were surrounded in soldiers in case they escaped and none of the rest of them went on top secret important meetings. None of the rest of them had the pleasure of meeting James and Peter almost pitied them.

When they saw Peter enter they all had different expressions on their face. Some confusion, some scared, number 3 however looked down right giddy. 3 was definitely the biggest looking one there and Peter had no doubt that he was the most big headed also. His stance, only slightly different then the others, was practically oozing arrogance. He was definitely sizing Peter up. Peter already knew 40 ways in which he could have him pinned on the ground in under 5 seconds.

The trainer wasn't standing in the middle of the room. Instead it was a tall blonde woman, clad in mission like armour. Her vest had a million pockets filled with weapons. Judging by the quizzical looks the other boys were giving her, they didn't know her either.

She followed Peter with her eyes as he stood next to the other boys. Peter tried not to let out a small eye roll and sigh as the boy nearest to him took a step in the opposite direction from him. It's not like he was going to kill them! Maybe a little payback though... but not kill!

He noticed the tiny, hardly noticeable amused expression on the blonde woman's face as she witnessed Peter's reaction.

"I want them to fight, so I know who's best" she said. She poke in English but her Russian accent was thick. She didn't introduce herself, she just spoke to the commander while keeping her eyes trained on the boys. She didn't look like the other soldiers or trainers, she had a similar attitude but her eyes were slightly vacant and her stance to perfect.

"I hardly think that's necessary Ms Belova, spider has the most experience and a 100% success rate" the commander said gruffly but seemed to shrink a little under the woman's glare. Who was this woman and what did she do to make the commander have a reaction like that?

"I didn't ask what you thought, sir" she said. Some of the boys looked completely baffled and Peter tried to hide his smirk at the scornful way the woman said sir. As if it were an insult rather than respect.

"May I remind you-" the commander started off angrily, red faced in humiliation.

"May I remind you, the mistress sent me to get the best boy fit for the mission. Though I would rather one of the girls...I guess one of these would have to do" she spoke over him powerfully. Peter wanted to impress her for some weird reason, but if the reward was a mission count him out.

The man looked positively fuming from the lack of respect. Peter thought he was going to blow, instead he swallowed harshly and spoke "very well".

Peter can't wait to tell James about this.

She smiled sweetly and scanned the line of boys. She picked two of the strongest boys.

Number 3 smirked while the other boy just stared straight ahead.

Peter watched as they fought. It was...something. They could punch and kick but considering they were hydra trained they were clumsy and gave so many opportunity to the other to take them down in mere minutes. They didn't take those opportunities instead opting to punch the other in the face. It was rough and not at all graceful like fighting should be. Peter's read books upon books on different fighting styles and he would much rather the quick and efficient take downs.

Eventually 3 punched the other hard enough to knock them down and pinned them to the ground until the woman told them to get up. She looked unimpressed by their fighting and gave a look to the commander as if to say 'is that all?'. Peter thought was a little unfair, they were all only 10 or 11 and still a bit clumsy like all young boys are.

"Alright" she sighed "let's see if you're all you're cracked up to be" she pointed to Peter then to the mat then did the same to number 3 who looked excited to fight again. Probably thinking the woman was impressed with him. Peter wondered if he had ever learned how to analyse expressions and body language properly. He obviously hadn't learned how to not give away his one thoughts as he strode up with confidence and his chest puffed out.

Peter honestly did want to win the fight but he didn't want to go on this mission. He joined him on the mat and eased into the familiar stance James had thought him. The other boy simply looked ready to charge.

"You may start"

Peter merely stepped to the side at the last second and watched the boy run past him.

"Take him down properly, I know you can" the woman said while giving him a knowing look.

"I would rather not go on a mission" he said quietly enough so the commander wouldn't hear.

She raised an eyebrow in question and Peter kept eye contact diligently despite the intimidating stare.

"I'll work something out, for now take him down" she said. She knew Peter could do it anyway so why not get payback on the boy.

3 took his chance while Peter was still looking away, probably thinking Peter's attention on the spar was gone since he wasn't looking at him. It's called multitasking.

He aimed a cocky punch to Peter's face. Without much thought he caught the punch to everyone but Peter's and the woman's surprise. In one fluid motion he twisted his wrist hearing a crack, he went with the momentum and swung his legs upwards at the same time he twisted the wrist. The move was instinct to Peter, we was always smaller and this took down the bigger guys with ease. His legs caught around 3's neck and brought him to the floor in a choke hold in a matter of seconds. The boy tapped out in a couple of seconds. Peter stood up and straightened down his top. The other boys hadn't seen him since they were beating him up because he was tiny and now viewed him with shocked expressions.

"You on the floor, you will go on the mission" she said pointing to the ground where 3 still hadn't gotten up.

"I will train you" she said to Peter.

"I already have a trainer" Peter said and she looked at him with confusion.

"I am better" she said like it was obvious. Maybe a better fighter yes, but James was no doubt better for Peter.

"Sorry" Peter shrugged.

"Spider do not refuse an order, you are lucky Ms Belova is interested in training you" the commander spoke up harshly and placed a bruising grip on his shoulder. Peter restrained the urge to shake him off.

The woman held up her hand to the commander to tell him to stop speaking and turned back to Peter.

"I will train you after your current trainer if you're so adamant on sticking with him" she said with a sigh. Peter furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"After?" He said at the same time as the commander spoke once more "we are currently readying his current trainer up for a long term mission, however he won't be leaving till at least 2014.

Peter felt his heart stop, of course he knew James would have to leave eventually, but in only 3 years. He barely knew the guy for a few months but he never wants to see him gone. What will he do alone in hydra without him? He had grown dependent on the man, even if he hated to admit it.

"Very well, I will see you then spider" she said with a curt nod as Peter trained his gaze to his feet. 

The other boys flooded out of the room after a soldier so it was only him and the commander left in the gym.

"You humiliated me today spider" he said maliciously. Peter wanted to tell him he humiliated himself, Peter had no part in it. The guy obviously just needed someone to blame and if Peter spoke up about it, it would only get worse.

"You will be punished for this" he said and Peter gave him a sharp nod, his mind was still elsewhere, the thought of loosing the only person who showed any care to him.

"Look at me when I'm speaking" he yelled. It was embarrassing how worked up the man got and Peter wanted to tell him to calm down, but if he didn't have the brain to mouth filter in Moments like these Peter wondered if he would still be alive.

"Yes sir, sorry sir" Peter said and kept the exasperation out of his voice as he payed attention to the man.

The man gave him a disgusted look and walked away, indicating Peter to follow him.

Peter wondered what would happen if he just left, he could get a fake identity and live somewhere they would never find him. Start a life if his own with no killing, punishments or insults. But James, he would never leave James even if a happy life was over the horizon, it wouldn't be a happy life without the closest thing he has to family.

Hydra would track him down, then he would be back to square one except this time without James and more punishments.

Peter's convinced he was only meant to exist to be in pain. It's all he's ever felt anyways.

The punishments are never as bad as the pain he feels emotionally, at least physical pain will go away eventually. The best he can do emotionally is push it down and pretend he had no emotions. He won't show emotions until he knows for sure he can trust them.

The only problem is the only person he trusts is himself and James.

Chapter Text

James lay on his bed facing the door. His metal hand coiled tightly while the other gripped a knife under his pillow. It’s not that he could actually use the knife on any of the soldiers if he wanted to keep Peter around but it gave him some odd comfort.

He's been out of cyro longer then ever before and his mind is playing tricks on him. The only person that can ease the panic that goes on in his head is Peter but he's gone meeting someone... whatever that means.

It's unusual for him to get attached so easily, but no one had treated him like a human since he entered this hell except for Peter. Not only did he treat him like a human, but a human he liked. It was comforting to know there are still good people and he took up the job of protecting the boy.

But he couldn't do anything but wait now, he always felt like this when Peter went on missions. He was so scared something bad would happen and he would be alone here, dreading the day when they called on him on a mission. James wasn't an idiot, he saw the toll the missions took on Peter. He's normally able to remember the important stuff and he never had a proper life outside of hydra like James had. Peter never got to experience all the happy things James is starting to remember. He never got to see a film, go to school, play sports or live a normal life. He never had the opportunity to meet friends and form normal relationships. He never learned how to express emotions properly. Even when Peter's angry it's passive and never directed at someone who doesn't deserve it, but James has never seen Peter properly happy. He's seen him try and smile then look like a puppy bearing its teeth and he's seen him laugh then wonder why he made that sound. It was heart breaking and made James want to protect him more.

Finally the door edged open and Peter got shoved in with uneven footing. Normally Peter wouldn’t let himself get pushed around by the soldiers and he stood up instantly to help Peter onto the edge of the bed. His shirt was untucked and streaks of dark red blood were barely visible on the black fabric running down his back.

"Hi" he whispered as if he was trying to pretend he was okay.

"What happened?" James said and looked around for the medkit. It really needed to be restocked but it would do.

"This woman made me fight some of the boys, then offered to train me" Peter said hoarsely. "Obviously I said I already had a trainer" he said and James felt his heart warm as Peter nudged his shoulder with a smile.

"...the commander said you would be leaving in 2014 and she could train me after" Peter said, his voice cracking.

James stopped. The mission was in three years? That’s shorter then he expected. He would have to leave Peter in only three years... Peter would only be thirteen. Just becoming a teenager and James wouldn’t be there.

"I'll come back, you won't even have time to miss me" James said instantly and looked into Peter brown eyes to show his certainty. 

"The way they said it..,they made it sound like you weren't coming back" Peter said looking down at his lap with tears welling in his eyes.

James put a gentle arm over his shoulder, carful to not hurt whatever's bleeding. "I'll always come back, I'm a tough cookie, don’t worry about me, okay?" he reassured and pulled Peter in close to his chest.

"Promise?" He murmured, muffled slightly by James's T-shirt.

"Promise." He said with no hesitation then pulled Peter away from his chest so he was facing him. James took off the dog tag with his name on it, leaving only the one with Steve's name on it dangling from his neck. He placed the chain around Peter's neck.

"There, I will need to come back for you and that now" James said and Peter looked at him with confused eyes.

"How will you remember your name?" Peter said placed the cool metal flat on his palm. He ran his thumb over the indents. 'Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes'

"My name is worth nothing if you aren't the one saying it" he said and realised how true it was "I didn't think I was James anymore. James was the guy before hydra, but you..." he sighed in frustration, he couldn't get his feelings into the right words "you made me James again, so if you aren't there with me- I don't want to be James" he said finally and was annoyed at the irritating feeling of tears behind his eyes "did that make sense?" He asked doubtfully.

Peter nodded and gave him a proper bear hug so that James could feel his tears against his back. It also gave him a look of the extensive damage on Peter's back.

"Peter! Shit what did they do?" he said urgently. There were long holes in his T-shirt that showed blood coming out of them.

"I didn't think it was this bad, we could've postponed the soppy speech, jeez Pete" he said and got out some disinfectant.

"It's fine! Don't worry"

"I'm worrying, take that off I need to clean the cuts" he said.

"No that's embarrassing! I can do it myself" he said with a pout.

"You would think growing up in a evil nazi organisation would mean you wouldn't go through the 'everything's embarrassing phase' but no" James grumbled "look you can't even reach your back so unless you want to feel like shit for longer then you already are gonna I would suggest getting over it" James said sternly.

Honestly any other kid would be crying or screaming right now but Peter just rolled his eyes and took off his shirt so James could see the damage. The long thin cuts were turning purple around the edges with blood still stained all around them. The worst part were the scars, loads of them as if it happened before. James felt sick to his stomach knowing what this kid went through, he knows for a fact that Peter didn't even do anything bad to earn the whip that must've been used on his back.

"That bad huh?" Peter said after a while.

James just muttered a stream of curse words. "This is gonna hurt like a bitch" he said, getting flash backs to the first time he fixed up Peter’s wounds as he poured the disinfectant over the cuts with a wince as Peter yelped.

"You weren't lying fucking hell" Peter said through a groan. The curse word sounding funny coming from his mouth.

James wiped away all the excess blood so it was just the cuts. Shit, they were deep.

James took a look at Peter's expression and saw his eyes drawn shut and he was biting his lip because of the stinging cuts.

"I will kill them all" James said under his breath "okay don't do that unless you want stitches in your lip as well" James said in a lot nice of a tone then his previous statement.

"Kay" he agreed in a strained voice and nodded his head then his eyes opened "as well?" He groaned. "They aren't that deep are they? Please my body will fix it" he pleaded and James all most believed him but shook his head.

"They're really deep Pete" he said sadly. "Fuck this is bad like, not good" he shook his head again in frustration. They didn't have any anaesthesia or anything to dull the pain and James really really didn't want to have to stitch the kid up without it. Especially not that many cuts, he could deal with the smaller ones but this was...

"So fucking inhumane I- ugh how long will it take for your body to heal this without stitches, honestly"

"Few weeks" he said weakly, James hated that he knew Peter was speaking from experience.

"With stitches?"

"Day or two" 

"Goddamn it" James groaned and knew the longer he hesitated over this the more pain Peter would be in.

"Hey- you don't have to it's fine I'll deal with it" Peter reassured. Why was he reassuring when his back was absolutely butchered, James had no idea.

"No it will be better in the long run just bite something so you don't break your teeth with your super strength, I don't think hydra will give you dentures" he said, stress evident in his voice.

"No it's fine I'll be fine" he said.

James remembered the mouth guard they used to make him wear before missions and almost punched himself in the face. Well done James, real smart.

"Okay think of happy thoughts, rainbows, kittens or some shit I don't know" he was rambling nervously now and just decided to do it.

"Sorry in advance" he said and got to work.

Peter wanted to read but the idea of holding up the book and turning the pages seemed exhausting and sore on his shoulders. His whole back was covered in gauze and it was the best he ever felt after a punishment, he still felt like crap but not complete and utter crap. something in him just wouldn't let him concentrate, he wanted to run a thousand laps and then maybe he could properly rest.

"James I'm bored" he complained. James was cleaning up after their little game of doctors and he just looked sad.

"Too bad you gotta rest" he said and Peter rolled his eyes. How was he supposed to rest when he had so much energy?

"Can we do some training?" he said, he knew he was annoying but he also knew that James was hiding a smile.

"Absolutely not that's the exact opposite of what I said you should do" he said.

"How about just some aiming practice, I'm not nearly as good with a bow then with a gun, knife or my web shooters" Peter pleaded with puppy eyes.

"What does your brain hear when I say no? Cookies?" He said with a groan as he purposely avoided Peter's puppy eyes.

"Awh man I haven't had a cookie since 2005, I would kill for a cookie" he said dreamily as James laughed at his thought process. "No that was a hyperbole- I wouldn't kill but I really want a cookie" he said quickly.

"I haven't had a cookie since '43." James said then laughed at Peter's pitiful expression. 

"Awh dude were cookies back then as good as now?" Peter asked, he was only making himself more hungry but James entertained the thought anyway.

"I've never had a cookie now but they used to give them in the war with chocolate as morale boosters and I guess the sugar gave you energy. Plus they're small" he explained and finally Peter let out a small yawn and nestled closer to bed without even realising it.

"When we get out of here, you need to try chips ahoy" he mumbled sleepily with his eyes closed, content to think about whatever processed cookie was called chips ahoy.

When we get out of here

It was nice to hope.

For now he was grateful he had Peter. He was like chocolate in the army, a morale booster. As well as that he gave James hope, something he hadn't had since the howling commandos. It was a nice feeling, but he knows if he indulges in it to much it will hurt even more when it inevitably gets crushed.

He laid back on his cot, Peter's soft breathing coming from the other side of the room anchored him. He decided to focus on the kids breathing instead of focusing on when he will need to leave him. He will come back, that's a promise he made to himself and Peter. Peter gave him light in a dark tunnel that has no end and he will be forever in debt to the kid for that.

Chapter Text

Peter wakes to loud banging. He’s up in a flash, sharp knife in hand, defensive pose taken.

“LET ME OUT, I NEED TO SEE- I NEED TO HELP HER” James was yelling hoarsely as he banged his vibranium fist loudly against the metal door letting out a deafening clang with each bang.

Peter inched forward, he’s never seen James so…unhinged. He would be lying if it didn’t scare him. His voice was cracking, his bangs loud, tears were running down his face leaving shiny trails that only ended once they reached the dark stubble. The tears caught in his long hair that was down to his shoulders now.

“LET ME- HELP HER” he screamed and roared.

Peter dropped a cautious hand on his shoulder. He was instantly shocked at the force of the push that sent him stumbling back against his bed. He let out a tense breath and advanced again.

“YOU FUCKING BASTARDS-“

Peter hopped on his back like a koala, scouring up his back and onto his shoulders. He clamped his hand onto James’s mouth and clung on with all his enhanced strength. James squirmed, he tried to push Peter off but Peter grabbed on tight to his shoulders. James was going to say something that would get both of them into trouble.

“What are you doing?” Peter hissed urgently “they will punish you. Us.”

I’m a blink of an eye a firm metal arm was clamped around his neck in a painfully tight grip. Peter was shoved roughly against the wall, only held up but the hand clamped around his neck. James’s eyes were bloodshot and red rimmed, his eyes were a glazed over grey and inky black shadows casted by his greasy hair made them appear darker. His lips were drawn tight and eyebrows furrowed in determination. This wasn’t James. It was the winter soldier.

“James” Peter said in a shallow rasp. His eyes wide in bewilderment, a man who comforted him, told him stories, mentored him. All gone and replaced with this.

As if his name had beckoned him back to consciousness James gasped, he pulled back his hand like it was burned. He took several uneven steps back until he bumped into his bed. His hand was held back by his other, as if he couldn’t trust it.

Peter crumpled onto his bed, gasping for breath.

“Holy- oh my god Peter I’m so sorry- Pete I didn’t mean to- I thought you were” he stumbled out resourcefully, a look of self hatred plastered onto his face. “Who am I?”

“James, James it’s okay” Peter said, he tried being confident so James wouldn’t feel worse. Leading him onto his own cot. He tried to put an arm around his shoulder but he was a lot taller then Peter, even sitting down. He settled for a an awkward half hug he hoped was at least a little comforting. “You aren’t a bad person” Peter said sternly “they hurt you, but you are good, you are my best friend” he said, enunciating each worth to emphasise the importance.

“I remember her Peter, I need to help her” he said hopelessly, shoving his face into his hands with a frustrated groan. Peter didn’t know what to do, he was basing his reassurance off of what James did for him.

“Who?” Peter asked gently, softly so he knew it wasn’t a demand.

“I don’t know!” He said hysterically. “I hate them so much Pete” he growled so ferociously, it’s the angriest Peter has ever seen the normally composed man.  “They made me forget-“ he cut himself off with a hoarse cry “they made me forget everything… they make me do horrible, horrible things and I can’t do anything!” He says, brushing his hair back harshly. “You remind me so much of her” he said, suddenly soft “she was kind, and sweet and sometime a bit of a little shit” he says wetly through tears, letting out a little chuckle at the end.

Peter’s eyes watered but he let James continue “she used to call me…me Bucky” James laughed manically “how stupid is that! I suppose it’s from buchannen”

“Your middle name” Peter said softly, he remembered it from the cool metal dog tags hanging from his neck currently, right next to his heart.

“Yeah… I think her name was…” he stopped for a second, like a buffering computer. He stared into space.

Peter thought back to the first night he met James. The two names he kept muttering under his breathe that Peter couldn’t help but here.

“…Becca?” He asked tentatively, unknown of the reaction he would achieve.

James’s head dropped into his hands on his lap. His shoulders shaking. Peter thought he was crying again, at first but when James raised his head again he was smiling, silently laughing “Becca! Of course! Becca! My god”

He shook his head sadly. 

Peter knew what he was thinking. Becca, would be old even if she survived the war. So is everyone else he knows. It’s a dreadful way to live, even if he did escape hydras clutches he has no one. Except Peter, Peter made it his duty to be there if he could.

“Would you rather be called Bucky?” Peter said. Testing out how the name felt in his mouth.

“No. No that’s not me anymore” he nodded, as if content with never being how he used to be.

“What hydra did to you was awful, but James, they can never strip you of your past, no matter if you can remember it happening or not it still happened. You are still you. You getting through this just makes you so much stronger. You can still be Bucky if you want, it’s your choice” 

“Choice?” James let out a spiteful chuckle “haven’t had a choice in a long, long time”

“You always have a choice, just with hydra all of the choices are shit” Peter said with equal spite.

“Hydras just shit in general”

“Yeah”

“So is it Bucky now?”

“No, I think I like James, it’s uniquely ours now. Peter and James till the end of time”

Peter smiled.

It reminded Peter of the dystopian books he used to read. The ideal worlds. A nice thought, but it would never come true. Sometimes it’s nice to indulge the nice thoughts, relish in the happy moments while you can. Especially when you know of the inevitable danger that is to come.

Peter moved silently through the metal vents, with ease he manoeuvred through the small tunnels and expertly crawled through stealthily. He knew the maze of vents like the back of his hand.

He hardly went this way though, all it did was remind him of what he couldn’t have. The warm delicious smell of food wafted upwards, through the grate like a force pulling him in.

This is when he would turn back normally, call it a night before his yearning got to strong and he did something idiotic.

But he came out tonight with the intention of being idiotic. But since he was doing it for James it seemed less of an idiotic risk and more of a necessity. He angled his web-shooters, and waited for the right time. His web shooters were fastened tightly on his thin wrist, not nearly as tight as the restraints hydra places on him but tight enough that they can’t get pulled off.

Bellow him was a kitchen. Peter knew from descriptions in books that there were a lot nicer, but in the hydra bunker this kitchen was a haven. Vibrant coloured vegetables sat freely on the work surfaces, contrasting the grey gruel he got every day strongly. The warm green coloured soup simmered lightly in a huge pot. Steam floated upwards from it, curling and twisting beautifully like a Van Gogh painting.

This was food fit for leaders.

Not for assets.

A cook clad in grey moved swiftly to the other side of the room to cut some vegetables. Peter took his chance. He shot a thin white web with the speed of lightning. It latched onto a golden brown bread roll with superb precision. The web looked flimsy at first. Peter knew however the tensile strength was above even a real spiders web (when it’s layered) and yanked the roll towards him confidently, knowing it would hold.

He held his breath, warm roll clutched close to his rumbling stomach that threatened to give him away. He waited for someone to catch him, for someone to notice the roll gone. 

Nothing.

His heart beat didn’t even decrease when he hopped down onto his bed, far away from the steamy hot kitchen.

He hid the roll behind his back. Knowing James would love the surprise after his initial fussing over Peter.

Peter tried to remain nonchalant, keeping the smile off his face as he poked James softly.

His eyes opened sleepily, despite his sleep he still looked exhausted but the roll wouldn’t be as nice cold. It was still soft and warm from the oven.

James sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Alright spit it out bud, I can see your eyes practically twinkling” James yawned.

Peter pouted, James never ceased to read Peter perfectly. He was thought for years to keep emotions from his face yet the man can still see through his strong shield like it were glass.

“Spoil sport” Peter grumbled good naturally.

“Okay first do not lecture me okay?” Peter said, giving him a small disclaimer, even if it was useless.

“Peter” James said impatiently.

Peter allowed his smile to grow and his eyes to crease with excitement.

He showed James the roll eagerly, holding it softly in his hands like a precious jewel. James’s eyes blew wide.

“Pete is that-?”

“Mhm!”

“From the-?”

“Yup!”

“Did you steal it-?” He hissed, but his eyes bounced with mischief. Peter had no doubt he was up to no good way back when and Peter vowed to try and get that side to show more.

“You said no lectures!” Peter reminded.

“Actually no I didn’t, do you know how dangerous-?”

“James!” Peter whined, eyes darting back to the roll “it’s for you! Think of it as a present for whenever your birthday is!”

“I don’t even know my birthday- wait for me? Pete you little shit don’t risk your safety for me!” He said but bombarded Peter with a huge bear hug anyway “thank you kid, thank you, you really shouldn’t have but thank you”

“Your birthday can be today then!” Peter said as he hugged back, his voice slightly muffled by James’s shirt.

“Hey! This will be nicer warm y’know?” Peter said after the long hug, not that it wasn’t nice but he was scared for the rolls well-being, it might get smushed when James is hugging him this tight.

“Right, yes” he said and tore it in half, handing one half to Peter. Peter contemplated refusing but seeing James’s stubborn look he took it gratefully.

James ate his, tiny bit by tiny bit. Letting it melt in his mouth. Savouring the precious bread as long as he could.

Peter, on the contrary, scarfed his down so quickly he hardly tasted his. He pouted sullenly in regret, wishing he had made his last longer. James ripped off another bite sized bit and placed it firmly in Peter’s hand.

“Savour it, you ain’t gettin’ any more” he said. James could read him easily, but it went both ways. Peter could easily read the amused look on his face and his fond eyes.

He ripped off piece by piece, the soft bread was still warm in the centre.

Both of them finished, not even mad the bread was gone because it left their stomachs warm and smile content.

Peter lay on his back, staring up at the white cracking ceiling. A lazy smile plastered on his face. Both of them found happiness in each other, even in a hell hole like hydra.

“Hey Pete?” James said softly.

“Yeah?”

“You…you are family” he said, gently. His words flowing swiftly like water yet cautiously like a timid cat letting a person pet it.

Family. Someone who cares for you- that’s how James had described it. Somehow, even with both their extensive trauma and horrendous trust issues they would each trust each other with their lives. Perhaps it was the shared experiences that made them click, or maybe it was simply having someone be kind to them, treat them like a human for once in their life that made them click. Whichever it was, both were just grateful it happened.

“You are family too, James” Peter said, grinning even more so up at the cracked ceiling.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

In that moment, they ignored the inevitable hardship in the future. They knew they would be separated yet they ignored it. Pushing the thought away like it was only a bad dream. Not real. Peter knew it was real, deep in his heart. But sometimes it’s nice to just live in the now, and not let the future control you.

Peter read a book once, he suspects a German soldier left it behind because it was written by a German author ‘Eckhart Tolle’ was his name. It was so vastly different from everything else Peter has read. He had to read it a few times to understand. There were still some words etched into his brain. Peter hoped they would stay there.

Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time — past and future — the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.

Yeah, Peter thought, the now is pretty precious.

Chapter Text

Most people are repulsed by spiders, some are terrified.

Such small creatures to be scared of.  Maybe it was the way they could sneak past so easily that unnerved people, or their multiple legs and unsettling eyes. Or how they created beautiful, intricate silk webs to capture their prey so effortlessly and elegantly.

There were many reasons to dislike a spider, yet he found them endlessly fascinating.

Spider, that was his name. He didn't pay it much thought but he recognised that when people spoke directly to him they addressed him as Spider. He was too focussed on the objectives of the mission to pay attention to why they had named him after the arthropod.

The sticky white web latched on to the steel beam, he lowered himself slowly, dispensing more web to advance closer to the ground.

A spiders web was made of silk, but very strong. It's is extruded from spinnerets, the proteins are lined up so closely they provide a surprisingly strong tensile strength for something with such a delicate appearance.

He scanned the environment. The modern architecture was stark and sleek, solid blacks and whites with sharp edges. Pops of colours added to give emphasis, to draw the eye towards it and tall floor to ceiling windows with immaculately clean glass, allowing the moonshine to illuminate the ground before him.

Spiders usually have eight eyes, sometimes six or fewer, to allow a wider range of vision. Normally however, they rely on touch, vibration and taste stimuli to scour out their prey.

He placed a gloved hand on to the smooth wall, he started to climb vertically. Like many modern buildings, it had high ceilings, the wall was the best vantage point.

He listened closely, he heard talking below. They were Americans, from their accent, they were reporting to a communication device. He crawled closer towards the talking.

Two figures, clad in white thick armour and white masks. Long batons, crackling with energy and emitting a threatening red light sat firmly and intimidatingly in their hands. They stood in uniform and only spoke when reporting back. They were guarding a door.

Higher above more people stood on balconies hanging over. Holding snipers with a red laser, moving around to navigate to intruders.

Sending a web up to the ceiling, Spider latched on to the ceiling easily.

Minuscule hairs stood up from a spiders leg, that's what allowed them to stick to surfaces.

Silently he manoeuvred around the ceiling. He shot another web and yanked a guard upwards, knocking him out against the beam he had moved onto and formed a cocoon of web around him until he hung upside down, knocked out and unable to move.

He continued this routine with the rest of the snipers, they never realised he was there, until it was too late.

One of the guards on the floor looked up, eyes widening when he saw his coworkers tied up. Spider crawled through the darkness, smiling slightly at the way the man spoke urgently in to his communication device “Spider is here”.

Like a domino effect, each guard stood up straighter, more alert, as if they could catch him.

Spider was known, infamous enough for people’s blood to run cold when they heard his name. He didn’t need any fancy and intimidating adjectives before his name to put peoples nerves on edge, just the reputation he had built for himself. Or, hydra had built for him. 

He took down more of the officers, by creeping into shadows then grabbing them behind, making sure they were silenced instantly.

The two guards at the door were all that were left, they seemed to notice, raising their batons in defence and looking back at the door they were guarding with second thoughts.

Spider pulled two sleek, shiny knives from the pocket in his black vest, hydra would be angry if he left all of them webbed up, they rather he kill them but something in the back of his head was screaming at him not to.

He flicked the knives from his hand, both of them at once, he didn’t need to look to know they went straight between the guards’ eyes.

Relying on his sixth sense to warn him of danger, he walked through the once guarded door and wasn’t surprised to see no one was aiming at him, he would’ve felt it if someone was.

A man with horn rimmed glasses and unevenly cut facial hair froze where he stood, looking up at Spider with fearful eyes. His fingers trembling on the keyboard he was previously frantically typing on. He looked around for back up, upon seeing he was alone, he gulped and took a step back.

Spider simply ignored him and went to the computer, the man had seemed to only be there to strengthen the security in the file Peter had been instructed to download onto a usb devise they had given him.

He had done a good job, Peter almost struggled hacking his way through all the fire walls. The obviously planted viruses did get irritating though.

He got through quick enough, the man behind him pulling in a sharp breath, seeing his hard work unravel in a matter of minutes. Spider, checked that he had all the information, sighing slightly when he noticed something was missing.

He turned to the man, who instinctively took a step back, bashing into the wall behind him with a jolt.

“Relax, I will not hurt you, unless you do not give me the information I need” Spider said, voice holding no feeling.

“I- I can’t, th-they will kill me!” the man said, voice rising a couple of octaves to an irritating level as his eyes darted around the room in panic.

Spider sighed, what was the point of threatening death if the man would find it either way. He quickly scanned the room, every person has a weakness and if this was the man’s office then he was in luck. If not he would have to return to more…gruesome methods.

“Lilly” he said slowly, sounding the word out carefully as he caught sight of the father days card displayed proudly on the shelf, ‘love Lilly’ was how it was signed off in red crayon and a wonky heart drawn next to it.

The man went pale.

Bingo.

“I have men, situated around the home, they dislike the rain and wind, I would recommend you provide me the information with haste” he smiled sweetly, it was an easy bluff. Spider didn’t have ‘men’ he was the ‘men’. The rain and wind comment, gave him an edge though considering it was only a cool breezy night when he arrived. The man’s damp coat gave him away however, it was even damp beneath the collar, probably because he lifted it up to shield himself from the wind.

Every parent will do anything to protect their child, that’s exactly how he ended up where he is today.

“Pete come on, you’re always way better at coming back then I am.” The man before him said, his black hair looked newly cut, semi short, it was cut jaggedly like he had used a knife, and only the places where it threatened to invade his eyesight were cut.

Spider stared at him, with uneasy familiarity.

“Pete?” Spider asked, narrowing his eyes in confusion. Normally he wouldn’t ask questions to anyone but his superior, but this person was emitting a feeling of safety that he was trusting with naivety.

“Please Peter, it’s been a day, just come back” he pleaded.

“I do not understand”

The man sighed, stood from his position and went to the bathroom.

”just..we have training in an hour, get ready” he said sullenly from the bathroom.

He felt bad. That’s weird he wasn’t meant to feel. He was specifically programmed not to. Maybe he was just really, messed up. Like a broken computer. Yeah, broken computer.

At training the man didn’t go easy, but it was obvious that he was refraining from using fatal hits. He seemed to respond without thinking as if it were second nature. Weird.

During their third spar the commander came in.

The man with black hair glowered while Spider stood to attention. 

“You never debriefed your last mission, Spider” he said with so much venom that made him wonder if maybe the commanders name should be Spider.

He hesitated, was he meant to provide an excuse? The man was hard to interpret. 

“…The soldiers lead me straight back to the room, sir” he said.

“Did you not think to inform them, of where you were supposed to go?”

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, he was not meant to speak to the soldiers, let alone tell them they were wrong.

“I am not meant to talk unless spoken to, sir”

“Do not back talk me” he said ferociously, raising a hand as if to strike him.

He forced himself not to react instinctively and dodge, but before he could so much as touch him, a silver arm gripped the commanders.

The commander looked astonished, looking at the man with fire in his eyes. He shrugged his arm free and put it to his side in embarrassment, then spoke “I see you have become very…attached” he sniffed “we may have to, separate you two”

The man took a step back regretfully.

“Will this be necessary, soldier?”

“No..” he spoke quickly “,sir” he attached on clumsily.

“Very well, you don’t have very long left here anyway…” he trailed off with a knowing glint in his eyes. 

The soldier looked away. The commander smirked smugly and left the room.  Spider stood there dumbly, without looking back at the soldier, honestly, he was surprised he got off without a punishment.

“Thank you” he said meekly. Swinging his legs childishly while he sat on the bed, even though his boots grazed across the ground irritatingly each time.

The soldier looked up from where he was repairing a gun. “Peter?” He said knowingly, a tiny smile only noticeable if you knew where and how to look for it erupted on his face.

James could read him like an open book, it would be terrifying if he didn’t trust James with his life.

“Sorry, James, I don’t know why I was messed up this time…I remember a little though” Peter wasn’t sure if he was happy about that or not, on one side he briefly remembered threatening a man’s daughters life and carelessly throwing knives at his opponents, on the other hand he remembered how James protected him, even if it was stupid, impulsive and unnecessary. It was against everything James stood for but yet it was so him at the same time. 

“It’s alright, I was two months awake in this room, and I remembered nothing until you showed up” he conceived. Peter recognised it was meant to comfort him yet it made his heart ache for James. 

He seemed to notice Peter’s ‘kicked puppy face’ as he called it and tried to brighten the mood. “At least you are you for your birthday” he said with a proud grin.

Peter blinked, he knew his birthday was around this time but with all the missions and the lack of a concept of time besides the lights going on and off every night he forgot. 

“It’s my birthday? How did you know?” He said in a mix of surprise and excitement.

Only James Barnes can make another birthday in hydra exciting.

“I have my ways” he said, “But that doesn’t matter, I made you something” he said, torn between hesitation and pride as he ruffled through his pockets.

“Awh you shouldn’t have! James I didn’t get anything for your birthday”

“Even I don’t know my birthday Pete” he laughed, eyes crinkling at the side.

“So? We will make one up, how about three months or so from now, I need some time!” Peter pleaded.

“Fine, December 10th, my new birthday yippee, now let me show you what I got you!” He said sardonically but with a smile.

“Okay okay let me guess, hmm a car, no you must be 16 for a license, oh oh! I know! A puppy” 

James rolled his eyes “you have too much sass for an 11 year old”

“12 year old now James!” Peter said but went to retrieve the present rapped in tissue paper anyway, it had a little bow wrapped around it made with a shoe lace.

Peter looked at the makeshift rapping “this is adorable I love it”

“Nothing I make is adorable, it’s badass, and that isn’t the present you know, it’s inside the wrapping idiot” he said with such a serious expression Peter laughed.

“I don’t know, I like it as is”

James shoved him playfully “open it jerk, no need to keep me in suspense”

“Fine, fine!” He said, slowly unwrapping the shoelace bow excruciatingly slowly just to annoy James.

James just rolled his eyes and watched Peter be a little shit and open it like a sloth.

“Oh this is so cool, James, I feel like a prick now shit this is awesome” Peter whispered loud enough for him to hear as he looked down at his present.

“You’re always a prick, dummy, and no swearing till you’re 13” James said “…I wasn’t sure if you would like it because of the whole ‘spider’ thing but you always tell me not to kill the spiders so I thought-“ he rambled, which, hey that’s Peter’s thing, but was cut off with Peter flinging himself at him for a hug.

“Thank you” he said, gripping the tiny wood carving of a spider tightly in his hand. “This is so much better then a puppy”

“Idiot” James said happily, then after a long “okay enough hug time this has gone on too long”

“Don’t care”

“I do”

“Too bad”

Peter had the perfect place for the little spider in his pocket that he knew he would keep there forever.

Peter is going to be a teenager next year. 2014. Maybe James will come back in time to make another little wood spider.

Hopefully.

Chapter Text

Peter knows a lot of things, for a 12 year old he was pretty smart. He knew things he wished he didn’t, and could also do things he wish he couldn’t. Weirdly enough he had no idea how he felt. Of course he was happy, he spent his days with James, he joked, he read, he trained. But is it really possible to live a happy life at hydra, not specifically that’s you couldn’t be happy but you can’t live.

“James?”

“What? It’s late Peter, get some sleep”

“I can’t”

“Nightmares?” He asked, with a sullen sigh, Peter knew it wasn’t directed at him but the nightmares.

“No, not really, I just can’t get to sleep” Peter said, lying back on the pillow while fidgeting with his hands.

James sighed once more “why?”

“Too many thoughts” he replied, he was aware even to himself that he was making no sense.

“Alright I guess we are doing this” James said. Peter heard rustling and when he looked up James was sitting up. “Go on then”

“What?” Peter asked in confusion, while sitting up to face him. His eyes had already altered so he could see James just fine in the dark. 

“You have too many thoughts, so give some to me” he said simply.

“That’s not how it works” Peter said, shaking his head with a small laugh.

“I guarantee you, that’s exactly how it works” he said, humour in his voice,mixed with seriousness.

“You’re serious?” Peter asked, after receiving a nod he sighed “alright, James are you…happy?”

James scrunched up his face in confusion “that’s a very…broad question” he said slowly.

Peter sighed throwing himself back down into bed “you’re no help!” He said dramatically.

“No no wait…I don’t think you can always be happy, it’s not so black and white”

“You make no sense” Peter mumbled into his pillow.

“Are you happy?” James asked, switching it back.

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out” Peter complained, smiling slightly despite it.

“Maybe you don’t need to know, like you were happy back in august right? When I gave you your present…but you’re not so happy when you have to go on missions” he said, making a bit more sense then last time.

“But, surely there is an average, like on average am I more happy, or not?” 

“How would I know?” James asked, shrugging in the dark.

“See useless!”

“You’re giving me an impossible question, kiddo”

“Ugh, but on average, if I am happy now it’s only because of you. So when you leave I don’t think there will ever be an average because I’ll always be horrible” Peter said.

“Hey I thought we promised not to think about that, live in the now remember?” James said, voice suddenly becoming softer.

“You’re honestly telling me that it’s not nagging you at the back of your brain constantly?” Peter asked, hating how his voice cracked childishly.

“Peter” he said in response.

“James”

He sighed once more, rubbing his eyes and pushing his uneven cut hair out of the way.”you know, normally when people are academically a genius they’re less competent in emotions, you however you are just a little genius all around”

“Flattery won’t get you out of this one Jamesie, help my brain be normal”

James snorted “sorry to break it to you kid, but we can’t be what society says is normal, that ship sailed along with our free will”

“Can’t you just, sugarcoat it to make me feel better” Peter whined “stop with the brutal honestly”

“If you wanted to be lied to, you should’ve asked the commander”

Peter laughed sarcastically “and be punished, yeah I don’t think so”

James didn’t respond to that, just slumped back down onto the poor excuse for a bed.

“I’m sorry” he said after a while.

“Why? You didn’t do anything wrong”

“No I’m sorry, you ended up here”

“I’m sorry you ended up here too”

Peter punched him, slid in between his legs then kicked him in the back so he stumbled forward. He waited, fists up, jumping on his feet, for James to face him again.

“You’re so slippery god damn”

“Thank you?”

“Not a compliment” he grunted, and charged at him full force, which Peter barely dodged.

“You’re like a bull” Peter yelped as he dodged another hit, he didn’t even have time to throw one himself.

“You’re like a fish, I can’t catch you”

“Yeah watch it Jamesie, I’ll sucker punch you with my fins” Peter didn’t have time to roll his eyes, but he wanted too.

“Stop calling me Jamesie!, it makes me sound younger then you” he complained but continued throwing punches and kicks whenever he could.

“I’m pretty sure you’re the oldest person alive” Peter said, completely truthfully “you’re pretty much a fossil”

“A fossil that’s about to beat you up”

“I’d like to see you try, dinosaur”

“Jamesie?!”

“Stop calling me that kid or I swear to god”

“Never, didn’t work when you asked me that two months ago and it won’t work now!” Peter said, trying to hide his excitement.

“Menace” the man grumbled with fondness on his face that completely gave him away.

“Is that anyway to talk to someone who got you the best birthday gift ever!”

James blinked “oh my god is it December already?”

“Yup! And I got you a present!”

“You better not have risked your life for it”

“A tad bit of theft is good for the health!” Peter reasoned as he held the present behind his back.

“You will give me grey hairs” the man groaned. 

“I’m surprised you don’t have some already, old man” Peter teased but held out the present for James.

He quirked an eyebrow “you got me a book…on communism”

He looked down at the ‘well-loved’ copy of ‘animal farm’ with amusement.

“The book is satirical Buck-“

“Buck?”

Peter stalled “sorry I you don’t like it-“

“No it’s fine”

“Right anyways, Buckaroo”

James groaned loudly but did not interrupt any further.

“As I was saying, it’s satirical, it’s mocking communism if anything” Peter said “thought it was fitting and everything considering”

“How did you get your hands on this” he said astonished as he flipped the thin book in his hand.

“I have my ways” Peter said with a smirk.

“You can’t use my own words against me Peter!”

Peter woke to someone shaking his shoulder lightly.

Peter swatted at it lazily “go away”

“Peter, Boxer just died” 

James stood above him, at ass o clock, waking him up because a fictional horse just died.

“James- wait are you crying?”

“They’re gonna make him into glue, Peter, those stupid pigs I will kill them”

Peter almost laughed, why was he not surprised James got attached to the characters in the book he gave him “hate to be the one to break it to ya, but they aren’t real”

“Still gonna kill em”

“Go back to bed, James” Peter yawned, pushing the distraught man back to the lumpy bed.

“You feeling better?” Peter teased lightly in the morning when he saw James was awake.

“Shut up”

“Wow, is that anyway to talk to someone who gave you a wonderful present”

“Why didn’t you warn me” he said sadly looking at the book.

“Oh c’mon it wasn’t that sad” Peter reasoned, laughing when he saw the shocked look James gave him.

“You’re heartless!”

“And you aren’t as much of a bad ass, as you claim to be”

“You take that back!”

“Hey James” Peter whispered loudly, looking up at the white ceiling with the paint peeling off.

“My god, let a man sleep” he said, voice muffled by the pillow.

“I think I’m happy, on average” Peter said, ignoring the man.

“Yeah? I think I’m happy on average as-well” James said, the next Peter heard from him was snoring.

The next time he woke in middle of the night it was to James shaking his shoulder once again, his eyes were glossy.

“Pete, Peter wake up” he said frantically.

“James? What is it?” Peter said groggily as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.

“They’re coming” he said, no emotion in his voice, but so many on his face.

“What?- oh oh no” 

It was a sick realisation, Peter’s heart instantly dropped, he didn’t know what to do, he knew this day would inevitably come but somehow it still came as a shock that this was happening. James had to leave, for real.

Peter barely got to tune into the heavy footsteps before the door was getting flung open. The commander stood, two guards by his side and no doubt more to come.

He turned his head to James, who was staring back, as Peter clung onto his arm.

“Come now soldat, the time has come” the commander said, malice weaved into his words.

James just stared back, like a dear caught in head lights. Not moving inch.

“James, don’t” Peter pleaded, as if he had a choice. They never really had a choice, no matter how they try to kid themselves they always ended up what Hydra wanted them to do.

“I’ll come back” he whispered, placing a hand on where Peter was gripping his forearm tightly. Tears dripping involuntarily down his cheek.

“Don’t leave”

“Enough! Soldat, we don’t have all day” the commander said impatiently, the two guards either side of him raised their rifles threateningly.

“James”

James looked in between the too with urgency “just hold on for me okay, I’ll be back before you know it” he said, trying a little reassuring smile that did nothing to stop the hammering of Peter’s heart

He stood up, letting Peter’s hand drop uselessly to the side.

The commander stared at the interaction, somewhat amused in his own sick way.

“Don’t worry little Spider, as long as he lives, he won’t be going anywhere”

He wanted to scream at the man, to tell him to leave, to hurt him. Peter wanted to hold onto James and not allow him to go, he knew it would just make more trouble for both of them but he had to try.

He stumbled to his feet, wanting to advance but the guns trained to him instantly.

James smiled at him, it was genuine but so wrong at the same time “don’t do anything stupid till I get back” he said, voice cracking in the most unbad-ass way.

Peter remembered the stories James had told him, anytime he remembered something he told it to Peter, two memories are better then one, even if they both were messed up.

“How could I? you’re taking all the stupid with you” Peter recited from memory, watching as James’s smile became sadder.

“Enough” the commander barked, slamming the door to leave Peter locked in the darkness alone once more. 

Chapter Text

When James said he was emotionally competent he was a fucking liar.

Peter felt like the best for him right now, was making tragic groaning noises into his pillow (or rock, whichever) as tears itched at his eyes.

He hasn’t properly cried since the commander used, uh, unorthodox means to get him to stop, which really only made it worse because he was fucking 5 years old at the time dipshit.

Yeah, a tear here at a bad wound, or a little sob at a particularly bad nightmare but he didn’t cry, it’s just something he blocked out years ago.

Now it’s like the big dam just broke and all the built up water is flooding out, without his consent may he add. Not even sobs, just constant waterfalls flowing from his eyes. Which, frankly, exhausts him and gives him a headache the size of Russia.

So yeah, first week after James’s impromptu farewell was well spent living in a pool of self pity.

But he’s fine now, honest, it’s not like James isn’t coming back. 

He doesn’t have attachment issues or anything why does he feel like this is the end?

Like this ball of dread is just expanding deep in his stomach until eventually it will explode. 

Whatever, he’s fine who cares.

He still had to do training while emotionally recked, they left him train on his own for now, keeping a few guards on watch while Peter normally just did accuracy training because it involved the least physical movement.

Really, he just wanted to bash his head against the wall until it stopped thinking, he never felt this before, hell he hadn’t felt at all after he was kidnapped, well before he met James at least.

The second week after James absence, he went down the opposite road.

He hadn’t expected James to be back already, just hoped and hoped so much that when that hope was crushed it felt like when you drop from a high place and your heart needs a little bit longer to catch up.

Well, he was restless, frustrated and hopeless. Not exactly a sunny cocktail of emotions. His punching bag took the brunt of that. It was specially made to withstand Peter’s and James’s strength and Peter didn’t know if he hated, or loved it. 

He punched till his knuckles were red raw and there were blood stains on the plastic fabric. He punched till sweat fell from his forehead like tears and his clothes stuck to him like scotch tape. He punched till his arms felt like lead and his knuckles stung. Yet his head was still thinking.

Thinking how every night his throat clogged up when he went to call James’s name for the late night conversations they had become so fond of and got no response. Thinking of how the punching bag didn’t even compare to James as a sparring partner. Thinking of how the little spider carved from wood sat firmly in his pocket, carrying so much emotional weight Peter swore if he put it on a weighing scales it would break it. He kept it in his breast pocket nonetheless. He thought about all the fucked up shit he’s seen and done, and how he can’t be redeemed, or freed, and he’s restricted to this for the rest of his life till he owns no identity, can’t remember his name and has to start going into cyro-freeze to stay young.

James made him feel like a human being again that was worth it, something. Now he’s gone, and that feeling followed.

Peter grunted as he punched the bag with all his might, not even satisfied how it tore beneath his strength. It was meant to be unbreakable, it wasn’t meant to break so why was it breaking? Maybe it’s his curse for ruining everything, who knows?

All he knows is that he’s going to continue punching the living daylights out of this thing until the guard forces him to go to bed.

“Oh spidddeeerrr” a young female voice called. Echoing in the room, sending his senses nuts. Her English was tinged with a heavy Russian accent, why didn’t she just speak in Russian like the rest of them?

Peter knows he should’ve responded, but he also should’ve found a way to keep James by his side.

He keeps punching, letting out laboured breaths as he does so.

“What did the punching bag do to you?” She said, much to cheerful for a place like this. Perhaps this is how James had felt when he had first met him. Much to cheerful in an endearing way. That cheerfulness of his got crushed pretty fast, replaced by a sarcastic and blunt tone.

“Looked at me the wrong way” Peter responded in English, his accent still more American even though he speaks Russian with a perfect accent too.

“Aha, the bag does not have eyes, Spider” she said, standing before him now so she was in the way, he didn’t want to punch her but at the same time he kinda did.

Her blonde hair was pulled into a high ponytail tail and she wore her same vest, adorned with multiple pockets. Surely she wouldn’t need so many pockets, and if she did, filling them all up would decrease mobility no? 

Peter stood up straight finally, breaking his fighting stance so he could greet her properly “Ms belova, hello again” he nodded at her, was she considered a higher up, or was she like James and Peter, a prisoner? Either way she had seemed to scare the guards last time so Peter wouldn’t mind having her on his good side.

“Hello Spider! I have come to train. Come, come we have much to do” she said, gesturing for him to follow her towards the matts.

Peter raised an eyebrow “I would really rather train by myself-“

She eyes him sceptically, cutting him off with a raised hand. “You are just to used to the winter soldier, you miss him, no?”

“He was an okay trainer I guess” Peter said, narrowing his eyes to try and gauge why she would be interested. James was more then an okay trainer, he was family, but she didn’t need to know that.

“I will not let you hurt the punching bag no more, you broke the unbreakable” she said, pointing at the tear.

“I just need-“

She cut him off with a glare, maybe she was a higher up that Peter should be afraid of. But he couldn’t really find it in him to care. The only downside is the realisation James won’t help him clean his wounds after a punishment. God, why was he like this? Why can’t he go back to being apathetic? He is becoming weak.

“Pardon?” She said, raising an eyebrow.

“Uhm I just said that-“

“No, I cannot hear you with that pity dick in your mouth! I gave you time to grieve! Two whole weeks and you spend your time punching a bag, be grateful it is me here and not one of the others, I’m cool and nice!” She groaned, taking off her vest so it was just a black top underneath, similar to Peter’s uniform now. “Get over it, move on, come now let’s fight!”

Peter blinked in surprise. Right, okay. Fine, he will take out his emotions on a person instead, see how she likes it.

Peter stands in a stance James had thought him, when she beckoned him forward her, he went full in, throwing his strength at her and dodging her blows. Three minutes in she was still standing. Five minutes in Peter felt like he had it in the bag.

Six minutes in he was flat on his back with Ms Belova pinning him down.

Peter crumpled his face in confusion “what?“

She grins snuggly while getting up “you fight like a soldier, Spider”

“Ms Belova, I am a soldier”

“Call me Yelena, and you can be much more” she said beckoning him forward to start again.

“You thought you were winning at first yes?” She said casually, how she could read him so easily petrified him, is this how people felt when he did it to them? Normally he was unreadable!

“Uh yeah, seemed like I had the upper hand, especially with my strength” he murmured, thinking back, Yelena had taken him to the ground in a flurry of movements. As if she had been waiting for him to do a specific thing.

“You- You were just observing weren’t you? Figuring out my style, then my weakness-“ Peter originally thought he had none “then acting on it”

She smiled “you are quick learner, first part yes  I did observe, but your fighting style was evident from your stance. Let me tell you something Spider, soldiers are predictable, they all train the same, meaning they all have the same weaknesses. You have agility and strength on your side not to mention to anti gravity trick you have tucked up that sleeve of yours, you are quicker then a soldier, better instincts. Those qualities can easily diminish by finding a way to bypass them, like I did. You must be more unpredictable, think of fighting, not as a fight but as a dance.” She said, Peter took mental notes in his head, she was right this training was beneficial and a hydra trainer wouldn’t be better then this. Not to mention the distraction was good.

“You will win 9 fights out of ten fighting like that Spider, but we settle for perfect alright?” She said, clapped him on the shoulder, and left the hall.

She had swept the floor with him. 

 Over the next month he trained every evening with Yelena. James hadn’t come back yet. Peter knew he would, he had the chain around his neck to prove it. More importantly, he has James’s word to prove it.

Peter didn’t get tired easily, it took him a whole day punching the bag to get as tired as he could so he could sleep undisturbed of nightmares.

Yelena was a whole new level.

His muscles hurt, he was stretching them in ways they were not meant to be stretched. Learning new moves, each for a specific situation, so they do not become predictable. She had him practicing ballet for balance and strength for goodness sake. Peter was good at all these things from the bite, but now he was improving and strengthening them, and actually learning how to apply them.

Not only was he learning how to fight like this, he was learning to analyse. Every fight Yelena would tell him to stop, take a look at his position and tell her the faults.

It felt a little like how he fought before the bite, albeit with less dodging, and now he had far more experienced opponents then number 3.

Peter was once described his and James’s fight like a choreographed dance, the way the were so used to each other. It should’ve been a wake up call, James could predict him, he knew what Peter was doing next. He assumed it was because they were so close, but while Peter was getting a better grasp of controlling his strength he was also depending on it, and not utilising his other abilities as much as he could have.

It worked, he always did good in missions, but some day, someone like Yelena will come up and absolutely wipe the floor with him.

Well, they would’ve, now Peter’s getting better, he can beat Yelena half the time because of his enhanced abilities. But next time she would whip out a new move. Peter wasn’t even made though, because she always taught it to him after.

Two months have passed, there has been no sight of James.

He went in the mission again for the first time, he was done quicker then before with his new training and the commander had barely told him off for not killing them because he had it over with so quick.

James’s training had been good, without it Peter wouldn’t have learned to regulate his strength and for that he is grateful, but now with the added bonus of Yelena’s training he was even better. 

Yelena was cool too, she made jokes, she was even nice most of the time when she wasn’t mocking him about something or another. Sometimes she was mean but hey, so was Peter, it was hard not to in a place like this. She was oddly chatty yet Peter didn’t know a thing about her. He didn’t know if she worked with or for hydra if she was a prisoner or above the guards. If he asked she would simply just deflect it so well Peter hadn’t realised it had been deflected until he was lying in bed that night.

But he missed James.

Like a lot.

It was weird, he didn’t think he missed even his parents this much but he was young and confused so maybe he just can’t remember it.

He hated the feeling though, it was just utter bull crap.

He wanted James to come home. He wouldn’t wish Hydra on anyone, but maybe they could chance getting out, finding out a way to get those murder words out of his brain.

It was nice to think about.

Like how a child dreams about becoming a mermaid.

Impossible.

Chapter Text

“Oh Spider” the voice called through the door, unnecessarily elongating his name. “Rise and shine, training time” Yelena said, rapping at the door impatiently.

“Fuck off” Peter groaned into his pillow, the lights haven’t even come back on yet, is she crazy?

“Just because you are a teenager now, that doesn’t mean you can swear, to your higher up no less-“

Right. Thirteen years old. A teenager. James wasn’t here to celebrate it with him. Whatever. He’s not a baby, he doesn’t need to celebrate his birthday anyway. Peter’s beginning to think James has left him (keeping his mind far away of the possibility that he died on the mission) after all this time, Peter wouldn’t blame him, it was selfish of him to want him to stay in a place like this when he had the opportunity to be free. It just, well, he promised.

“What time is it?” Peter called through the door, he really has no concept of time in here. 

Yelena is oddly laid back, for a trainer. James is a whole different story, he was more family and friend then trainer. But the trainer he had before James had been ruthless, snarky and overall a pain in the ass.

Yelena was cool, normally. She smirked when he talked back, unlike the soldiers who have a superiority complex and need to feel as if they are better than him. If he pissed her off, which he had a habit of doing with most people, she simply made him train harder and longer. She never had mercy during fights, not that Peter wanted mercy. She was better then other trainers. Another plus, she respected his privacy instead of just barging into the cell. She actually knocked! 

“Time for you to get up Spider” she singsonged, totally unhelpful.

“Alright, alright I’m gettin’ up, jeez lady-“

“What did you say?”

“Nothing!” Peter quickly changed, brushed his teeth and hair then spoke again “alright I’m ready”

Yelena pulled open the metal door, she looked as fresh as always, blonde hair pulled into a plait and clothes immaculately clean and not rumpled. She looked energised and refreshed.

Peter however had had dark circles under his eyes, his hair was still frizzy despite him brushing it, apparently his curls didn’t respond well to the brush they had oh so kindly given to him. He was still lanky as ever, his metabolism eating away at the any fat he achieved in consuming from the innutritious gloop they are served. Safe to say he was a hot mess. Not to mention the obvious grief eating away at him.

“Why so early?” He asked, taking no notice as four soldiers came and surrounded them as they walked. Don’t want hydras puppets to start conspiring. Yes Peter was bitter, would you blame him?

“I have a mission later, it is now or never Spider” she shrugged, leading them into the hall. Peter counted the steps from habit while keeping up conversation.

“…what kind of mission?” He said, finally reaching the end of the hallway and following Yelena into the gym. 

She swivelled around to look at him “nosy nosy nosy” she tutted while stretching her arm behind her back.

“Missions like my missions?” He asked cautiously, Yelena was easy to annoy. She’s not as fun annoyed.

“You could say that yes” she replied vaguely.

“So you don’t know anymore then me about things around here?” Peter asked, even he knew the hope was evident in his voice.

She narrowed her eyes “I know nothing of where your friend is Spider” she said, more pitiful then annoyed. Peter hated being pitied, it made him feel weak and pathetic.

“Wasn’t gonna ask ‘bout that” he mumbled.

She smirked “oh yes? What were you going to ask then?” She said with raised smug eyebrows.

“I wasn’t gonna ask anything, just wondering” he deflected, loading up his web shooters so he wouldn’t have to look at her.

“You do not have or lie to me Spider, either way I can tell” she said arrogantly. Peter rolled his eyes.

“What? You miss someone too then?” Peter said, more snappish then he intended. Did she have the option of leaving? Or was she completely like him?

“Alright fight time” she said, completely ignoring his question and getting into a stance.

Despite getting no answer that reaction told him a lot more about her then he originally assumed.

“I- uh I think it’s in the outskirts of the industrial district” He mumbled, it was hard to regain his memories without Peter, especially with everyone interrogating him and looking at him like a caged animal. He hated this, hated everything. If he didn’t need the avenger’s help then he would’ve bought a little apartment in Brooklyn, maybe Manhattan near Times Square, or perhaps even DC like he and Becca had always dreamed of doing when she forced him to play make believe with her.

A lot of shit was going down. All He knew was that they wanted to put him in some special treatment to get his memories back in some super secret country. He told them that he needed to get to Peter first. They treated him like a lost toddler saying stuff like ‘we’ll find him Buck don’t worry’ until he had snapped at them and almost killed Steve. Yeah, not his best moment. The man was so shockingly innocent and naïve for someone who had fought in a world war.

“You mean to say…there is a hydra base, in New York, right under our noses” Tony Stark says, lounging on the couch in a crumpled expensive suit looking stressed out of his mind. He had a hand flashing an expensive watch pinching the bridge of his nose as if he had a killer headache.

“Yes.” Bucky said. Was that his name…that’s what Steve called him. He knew Steve, or at least he thought he did.

“Right and you want us to raid it to get back some kid-“

“Peter, yes” Bucky cut in. If there was one thing he was certain about right now it was that he had to get back to Peter. Everything else was a blur.

“Alright team, get your gear on” Steve said casually, receiving ‘yes Cap’s from everyone.

Bucky blinked…that was easy.

“Right, Wilson will ride with you to Wakanda then I-“

“I’m coming” Bucky cut in, was Steve really so stupid to think he wouldn’t come to help Peter?  Well, Steve never knew him and Peter, but still Bucky needed to do this.

“Woah woah Buck are you sure your stable enough for this” he said hesitantly, concern and pity in his eyes. Bucky hated the pity, it made him feel weak and pathetic.

Bucky narrowed his eyes threateningly “I’m plenty stable, I’m not made of glass Steve. I’m gonna get him back” Bucky said. 

“I don’t know-“ Steve continued.

“Steve” Bucky started, suddenly more gentle then his usual gruffness towards them. “You- You gave me this before we went on that mission” Bucky said pulling out the dog tag from behind his shirt “I- Do you know where mine is? It’s with Peter…you went- you still are going to hell and back for me. I need to do that for Peter” Bucky said earnestly. One clear objective in his mind since Steve had snapped him out of his Winter Soldier mind set.

Steve sighed “alright, I understand”

“Thank you Stevie” Bucky said, attempting a small smile.

“Yeah whatever punk, get you gear on” 

“Yes Cap!” Bucky mocked.

Peter was pulled out of training only half an hour in. 

The commander looked almost nervous, the most emotion Peter had ever seen him show. It was weird, and frightening, something must be really wrong.

“Spider, I have a mission for you” he said, voice steady.

Peter kept his eyes from wandering back to Yelena to see if she shared his confusion “yes sir.”

They didn’t give him the option this time, he was instantly shoved into the chair. Restraints were put on and the words were said hastily, no taunting, no teasing just hurried panicked.

Peter braces for the inevitable as his mind started to slip with excruciating pain, allowing the embarrassing yells escape from his mouth until he was exactly who hydra wanted him to be.

“Ready to comply” he said, voice hoarse from yelling but still confident.

“Mission: kill the avengers”

“Yes, sir”

Bucky hitched a ride on the back of Steve’s bike as the others found other forms of transport or flew. There was many bland square buildings of different sizes around, mainly factories hence the ugly appearances. Bucky could recognise Hydra’s building from anywhere.

It stood a little more worn out then the rest. As if trying too hard to appear abandoned. Bucky new however, that bellow it was the compound he had been transported to in preparation for the mission. He signalled for Steve to stop here.

“Here? Really?” He asked. Bucky ignored him as he crept inside the creaking door and passed the too familiar peeling paint walls.

“I detect heat signatures bellow” Iron man’s mechanical voice said abruptly as he landed beside them.

“Secret base” Bucky grunted, lifting his gun higher in his arms. He mentally counted to make sure all his weapons were attached to his black vest. He had taken too long already, he couldn’t mess up.

As the others joined him he got Stark to hack into the elevator and allow them down to the lower levels.

Once the doors opened a blaze of gun shots attacked them. Fighting broke out immediately between the hydra soldiers and the avengers. Bucky took advantage of the fact most of the team had armour or some way to shield themselves and crept off to the side towards where his and Peter’s room was. He took down any soldier in the way with a quick shot from his gun, silencer in place as to not draw to much attention to him. The avengers were doing quite a good job on keeping them distracted.

“Jeez what on earth” came Starks voice through the comms, Bucky was meant to turn it off but he forgot, he really didn’t care for Steve’s orders right now.

“Is that…on the ceiling?”

Peter.

“It’s stuck me! Nat it got my bow!” Hawkeye whined.

“That ‘It’ is a ‘he’ and he’s not in his right mind now” Bucky snapped into the comms as he ran back towards the fight. This wasn’t Peter, it was Spider.

“Barnes…care to explain why your friend is the freakiest assassin of the underworld” Black Widow hissed.

“You KNOW him?” Hawkeye said.

“I have connections still”

Bucky ignored them and turned through the familiar halls. He looked around but couldn’t see him anywhere.

Before he could continue someone punched him right in the throat, leaving him gasping for air as he stumbled backwards. A soldier in black with a muzzle a like his own held a knife to his throat. Brown hair covered his eyes.

They were in a somewhat secluded hallway, the fight still being a bit ahead.

“Is anyone free?” Wilson said “he got my wings, goddamn ninja”

“Stark and I are still up, a bit overwhelmed though, Bucky what about you?” Steve said, somewhat out of breath from the fighting.

The soldier above him hesitated.

God just slit his throat already.

Suddenly a flash of silver caught his eyes. Dangling above him from the soldiers neck was a dog tag, Bucky’s, no, James’s dog tag.

Peter.

He was taller, hair ruddier and longer, hanging over his brown eyes. Not to mention the way He held himself, and the way he fought was way different.

“Peter” he whispered, not wanting to accidentally cut his own throat. “Pete it’s me, James?”

Spider shook his head, pressing the knife further so it let a small bead of blood trickle down his neck.

“C’mon Pete? I’m back, I’m here, I came back like I promised!” He pleaded “I know you’re still in there, if you weren’t I would’ve been dead a long time ago”

“You’re wrong”

James was surprised at how much emotion was in his voice. Denial and grief ebbed into his words as he tried to fight off hydra.

“You’ve always been much better at coming back”

He blinked at those words. Shaking his head again as if to rid himself of hydra. “James-?” He whispered, as if scared to say it. “You’re alive”

Before James could respond, Peter was flying back against the wall, head in his hands.

James hurried to help him, kneeling in front of him “What? What Pete what’s the matter?”

“I don’t wanna” he groaned and let out a yell as he squirmed and tensed. He continued to yell at an imaginary force as tears leaked from the corners from his eyes and his fists clenched.

It was too late when James realised the ear piece in Peter’s ear, someone had been speaking to him and they brought Spider back.

Right when James had gotten through to him!

“Ready to comply” he said, rid of emotions. James’s heart stuttered at the sight. Frozen in place, not knowing how to advance.

“Come back to base Spider” James heard through the comm.

One web to James’s leg insured that he couldn’t follow as Spider scampered off through the halls.

“You’re weak Spider! Listening to the traitor!” The commander screamed. Peter braces himself as another hit landed.

“You have become too attached, I thought the time apart would’ve thought you something, but nothing!”

Peter was still hazy on what happened. The commanders nonsensical yelling was not helping, nor was the punishment. James was there though, and he was alive. He knew that much, he didn’t know if he was relived or not, James was there, but it was ten times harder for Peter to see him again now.

“There’s only one thing left for you, a special forces group, just for your kind” he spat, as if he hadn’t made Peter a mutant.

“One of my buddies in Canada runs it, he would love more mutants…especially for what he has planned” the commander smiled, sickeningly sweet and fake. Peter glared at him anyway, even though the itchy blood running from his nose was becoming increasingly irritating and his swollen eye was throbbing painfully.

“You had your chance Spider…but you failed”

Chapter Text

Peter backed into the corner, nursing his injuries like a wounded dog. The ship rocked.boxes and crates shoved into him every time the ship went over a particularly bad wave.

His best guess is that the ship is going over the Atlantic, he has no idea why they couldn't have just shoved him in the back of the van again considering they are going to Canada from what he got from the commanders speech. His stomach lurches with the contents of the ship and the only silver lining he can find is that at least he's not up top where the current seems harsher.

He tries to distract himself from what had happened, how close he had been to safety, or was it safety? Safety would be getting the daunting programmed words out of his head and finding his parents. That's impossible, primarily because, well, his parents are dead (Peter is grateful now at least that he isn't on a plane) and because is it even possible to get the words out of his head? 

Distracting himself doesn’t really work, because there’s nothing better to do then think on this journey.

James got out, seemingly, the commander had called him a traitor and they did not try and capture him again surrounded by his new friends. They tried to kill him instead, so he must be of no use to them or totally unattainable. They made Peter try and kill him.

Peter doesn't want to think of that either, but every time Peter closes his eyes to try and get some rest he sees James below him with blood trickling down his neck, a matching shade of crimson staining the dagger that was in his hand. Suddenly he doesn't adore his possessions so much. It's funny to think, he had killed so many people, not wilfully but he had done it, and used those weapons. Not once did it occur to him, those people had a family waiting up on them to come home, only for it to never happen. He had been the cause for all that pain, he had always tried to console himself thinking that he only killed bad people, people that deserved it. Even if they were bad, did they deserve it? did they deserve a second chance? Were they even guilty? With a jab of pain not related to his injuries at all he remembers a man, just a computer guy, probably hired to protect something he didn't even understand, had a child, a daughter, sweet enough to sign off there cards with love and a heart. His indoctrinated brain had seen it, and all he had thought was to threaten her life, to gain the information he needed.

His brain was truly and utterly fucked up, even if he did get out and free himself from hydra, he doubted anyone would want him, he was broken, messed up, he had more red on his ledger then most people and he was only thirteen years on this planet. James would want him, he thought, James had wanted him, he gave him his own dog tags and a wooden spider he spent his own time carving to prove that. Would he still want him after he had almost killed him? Does he still own his trust after James had seen how simply the switch could be switched from family to murderer? Surely James would understand though, right?

A crate slams into his side, delaying the process of his healing with each bash yet Peter couldn't find it in himself to do anything about it. He felt so utterly useless. He knew he was a coward from day one, believing anything hydra had said to him until James had talked him out of it, choosing to be brainwashed instead of manning up and finding a way to save the people he was told to kill even if it threatened his own life. But now, covered in so many wounds even his healing factor was struggling, surrounded in damp wood and squeaking rats gnawing at the sides of crates, he felt more cowardly then ever. James had been there, James tried so hard to get there and he had been so easily taken over by the commanders words that he was forced to run off.

Now he was heading to Canada for goodness sake, probably up north where it's freezing cold considering they threw him on a cargo ship. Somewhere James will never think to check.

He shook the thoughts from his head, he couldn't go back in time and change it so there is no point dwelling on it, besides if he delved deeper into his own head he will start to feel. He decided that he doesn't want to feel anymore, because the bad feelings are horrible, and all the good feelings always end up turning into bad ones and hurting even more. Besides, the tears would probably freeze on his cheek.

The sack shoved over his head is a weird sort of relief, the cold can no longer nip his nose. The only source of heat is from the friction he creates by rubbing his hands and even that ends soon once whoever is guiding him kicks the back of his legs to make them buckle. He sensed the kick coming but he didn't bother moving. The upside was that his face didn't need an ice pack considering the Nordic Canadian air was acting as an eternal one, although he would rather the swollen pain then having his toes and fingers numb and goose bumps trailing up his skin.

Finally he's shoved inside the building, the shelter from the wind is a relief. His boots echo along with the soldiers and he counts his steps, restarting at every corner. He hates not knowing, so the sack over his head preventing his sight his aggravating. It’s almost nostalgic, counting his steps like he used to before he memorised them off in the old compound. Like a messed up deja vu.

Finally a door opens with a creak and he's shoved inside, the door slammed behind him. He senses people around him, around five or six. He actively ignored them in order to shrug off the sack and beeline for the bed. Landing on the, surprisingly soft mattress with a sigh.

The other people, apparently decide not to ignore him as he can feel their curious eyes on him.

"Is that a kid?" On says, his voice is gruff and filled with confusion.

"Hard to tell he's even human with a face like that, it's more bruised then not" one said lazily with a humourless chuckle.

Peter decided to ignore them, bathing in the comfort like a cat on a sunny day rather then face his problems.

"D'you think he's Strykers kid or something?"

"Nah, no way would he allow his kid to get beat up like that, even if he did have one, the question is why is he in here?" one said, sounding like the voice of reason of the group.

"Well he ain't here to fight, he's like a human noodle" one said, who sounded like the opposite of the voice of reason as he laughed which sounded more like a giggle.

"I object to that" Peter said, startling them, they probably thought he had waltzed in and passed out on the bed. Which doesn't sound that bad. Peter hasn't had noodles since he was four but now he wants them.

"It's alive" the not-voice-of-reason said dramatically as if Peter was the next Frankenstein. Peter could practically hear the others’ eye rolls.

"Yeah no shit Sherlock, now stop discussing me I'm trying to sleep" he grumbled, he wouldn't sleep here normally, surrounded by people he doesn't know makes him very vulnerable, but he has a knife in his hand tucked under his pillow and his sixth sense to rely on, safe to say anyone comes near him they get stabbed in the arms to give them a warning.

"Hey bub, don't think you're meant to be here, is your family around or something?" The gruff one said, oddly gentle. He probably had good intentions, but god is that condescending.

And bub? Seriously?

"Call me bub again and I'll make sure you can't speak" he said, muffled by the pillows, eyes already dripping shut.

"Ha I like him"

"You like anyone who insults Logan"

"Exactly"

Peter's asleep before he can hear anymore.

A ringing that is his sixth sense interrupts his usual nightmares, which are really just memories, to warn him.

He's up in an instant, knife against their throat, arm behind their back, face smushed into the wall. He doesn't feel at all rested, which is probably because this smart ass decided to touch him. Only a poke to the arm but his senses went haywire.

There was a stunned silence as no one moved. Then it was broken by a giggle. God if he wasn't already occupied he would strangle that guy.

Not fatally, 'cause his moral compass just hates when he does that. Which is also why this guy isn't dead and only trapped.

"What the fuck? Did you even let me sleep for ten minutes before poking at me like roadkill?" Peter groans, keeping a tight hold on the guy.

Peter barely had time to duck before the man swiped at him with weird bone claws that were coming at of his finger tips. Holy shit.

Peter takes a step back, keeping his knife up in defence.

"Victor he's just a kid-" the 'bub' guy said. He was looking at the guy with a warning stare but Victor didn’t seem to care.

"I think he's a bit more then a kid" the guy who poked him said. Looking at Peter with narrowed eyes.

Peter oddly took that as a compliment.

"Are those...your bones?" Peter asked "where do they come from? Like holy shit" someone sounding like James was telling him to be less lax but, if he saw this then he would be surprised too. "What do your x-rays look like?"

Victor- as the 'bub' guy called him- just blinked at him. Then skulked back into the corner, the bones went back into his fingers as he went.

"Now that you have had your hour sleep want to tell us who you are?" 'Bub' guy said. Now that Peter got a good look at him he almost laughed. He had hair that pointed up at either side making him look like he had wolf ears or something and bushy mutton chops as facial hair. He flexed his muscles in his vest top to look intimidating as he spoke. 

"Only an hour? That explains it" he said with a yawn.

"Relatable" the one that giggled mumbled. He had-admittedly- awesome katanas strapped on his back and a vest jacket type thing on. He seemed to piss all the others off a little. That made him a bit more likeable.

The whole group were mismatched now that Peter looked.

"Want to tell me who you are?" Peter countered.

The guy sighed "alright, I'm Wolverine-"

Peter couldn't stop himself laughing. He needs to stop laughing in times of danger but wolverine.

"T-that explains the hair that look like wolf ears!" Peter said with a laugh. Most of them looked at him like he was stupid for laughing at wolverine but katana guy joined in.

"I knew I wasn't the only one that noticed the hair!" He said, earning a death glare from wolverine.

"It doesn't look like ears!" Wolverine said gruffly, sounding just a tad insecure as he rubbed a self conscious hand over his hair. "And it's because of this" he said, and just like the other guy he shot bones from his hands. This time from his knuckles, which looked cooler honestly, Victor's looked like overgrown finger nails a small bit.

"Shit can all of you do that, I feel left out" Peter said looking at the bones coming from his knuckles with awe. They must have super healing too for that to heal so quick afterwards.

Wolverine looked a little disgruntled that Peter wasn't intimidated "no, we are brothers-"

"Half-brothers!" Victor interrupted from his corner.

"We are the only ones that can do that" wolverine finished.

Peter still wanted to know the biology behind it but decided not to ask further.

"Now you. Who are you? And how did you end up here?" He said, voice deep and accusing.

"Well, I was shipped here because the commander had some...issues with me so he said he would let his Canadian friend deal with me" Peter said, rolling back and forth on the balls of his feet.

"You do realise what this is?" Wolverine said slowly, looking slightly concerned.

Peter exhaled loudly in thought "my guess is some black ops group thingy for mutants” he said casually.

“Pretty much on the money there man” katana guy said. Peter really gotta get the rest of their names.

“And you’re okay with that?” Wolverine said.

Peter snorted “like hell I am, don’t tell me I’m the only one kidnapped against my will to fight for them” Peter said.

All of them looked considerate at that. Peter knew no one did this wilfully. They probably got blackmailed in to this somehow.

“Yeah but, you’re a kid” another guy said, he was literally wearing a cowboy hat. Peter felt very out of place with his standard hydra uniform.

“Really? I hadn’t notice” Peter said sarcastically.

“What do they want with a kid?” Wolverine said.

“Beats me” Peter shrugged. He didn’t want to give away too much information.

“You got a name?” Wolverine asked.

Peter hesitated “they call me Spider”

Wolverine just closes his eyes, takes in a deep breath then speaks “you can not laugh at wolverine when you are called spider”

“I didn’t choose it!” Peter said defensively.

“Look, you got a real name? I feel like an idiot calling someone ‘spider’”

“Well then I ain’t calling you wolverine” Peter said with his nose in the air.

“Fine, it’s Logan, now you?” He says exasperated. Most are watching on in amused confusion while katana guy is straight up smiling like it’s the best day of his life.

Peter thinks, for once in this whole meeting, about the consequences. For all he knows this could be set up by hydra to see if the program is working on him. If so he needs to forgot.

“Don’t remember” Peter shrugged.

“Don’t bullshit me kid” he groaned annoyed.

“Genuinely, don’t know my name” Peter said casually.

“Explain to me, how one forgets their name” he says with closed frustrated eyes. Wow Peter’s getting on his last nerves, go him.

Even if Peter knew they weren’t with hydra he wouldn’t tell them. Only James knew (besides the commander and probably more hydra) and he wants to keep it that way.

“The fucked with my brain” he said nonchalantly as if it doesn’t affect him at all.

Logan looked thoughtful for a moment, almost pitiful, which got Peter making metaphorical walls around himself quicker then bob the builder.

He turned with convincing cheerfulness to katana guy. “What’s your name?”

“Wade Winston Wilson” he said with a salute and a chirpy smile. Peter wasn’t and idiot, he knew this act. Where you act all happy and care free, make stupid jokes so no one bats an eye at you or worries about you. Deflects serious situations with jokes. Pisses people off on purpose to push them away. He can spot it easily, because that’s what he does too.

“That’s is the most absurd use of alliteration in a name I’ve ever heard. Nice katanas” Peter said with an outstretched hand.

Wade does that thing where he bats away the hand and goes in for an enthusiastic hug.

“If you don’t stop hugging me in three seconds this knife is going to be put to good use” he says with a wide purposefully fake smile.

Wade relishes those extra two seconds before backing away. 

Peter shivers and turns to the rest of them to find out their names. Some have code names, others don’t.

One particularly big guy introduces himself as ‘blob’

“You…want to be called that?” Peter asked sceptically.

The guy looks a little surprised he asked and smiled “you can call me Fred if you want”

“Alrighty Fred” Peter says because, even if he is a hydra assassin he doesn’t wanna call anyone blob. That’s just feels mean.

Turns out they all have tricks up there sleeves as mutants and they even do a little show and tell for him. Wade can spin his katanas so fast he can block bullets, Fred has super strength, the guy with the cowboy hat (who’s name he finds out is John) can teleport (so cool), Agent Zero (or David) has insane aim with a gun and a guy called Chris Bradley (or bolt) can control electricity.

Considering the situation they are all actually pretty chill. They all treat him like a little kid but he’s gotten used to that. Peter thinks they’re all just waiting for someone to come pick him up from this like some wacky day care. They keep his mind off James and they don’t hurt him so he’s okay with it. 

“So you’re a mutant right?” Wade asks a while later. Everyone has split up to their own bunks, Wade followed him to his. He’s sitting on Peter’s bed and swinging his legs like a child.

“Mhm” Peter agrees, he’s cleaning off the wounds he had acquired, earning a few concerned looks from the others, but his healing isn’t nearly as fast as the wolf brothers’ so they will have to deal with it.

“What can ya do?” Wade asks, he keeps on poking at things in Peter’s open duffel which is kind of infuriating but also kind of endearing. Not that Peter would ever tell him that. 

“Super strength, accelerated healing- not as accelerated as I would like though-, sixth sense,  enhanced senses and I’m a fairly decent fighter” he lists, counting them off on his fingers. “Oh and I can do this” he says. Sticking his hand onto the wall and lifting himself up so he’s crawling on it. Vertically.

Wades shocked look turns into a huge grin “oh brother” he laughs, slapping his leg “you got the whole shebang, holy sausages look at you!” he says through laughter, earning looks from the others, then surprised looks when they see Peter.

“Huh, so that’s why they call him spider” he hears Logan say.

It’s not long till they get interrupted and Peter learns why he’s really here. A man In an army uniform comes through the door. He has lots of medals and fancy smancy military stuff pinned to his green jacket that Peter should probably respect but he honestly has no idea what it means. He has greying hair and eye bags but he still finds a way to look excited as he walks in. Peter’s not fooled, anyone who’s friends with the commander can’t be good.

“I’m Colonel Stryker, Welcome to Team X”

Chapter Text

The way Peter interpreted it, was Colonel Stryker needed someone to do his dirty work and in his eyes, mutants are at the bottom of the food chain.

It's not necessarily a bad situation, it's better then before that's for sure.

Peter had never traveled so far nor as often as he is travelling now. Anywhere they need a quick quite assassination, they're there, anytime they need to ambush an enemy base, they're there. They do the dirty work, the stuff nobody wants to touch with a ten foot pole.

The group became intensely familiar with each other, too familiar for what Peter would think he was comfortable with but actually found it somewhat comforting to have people to rely on. He couldn't help but like it even if his brain was screaming at him to be rational, rely on someone? Was he an idiot? Yelena would be furious.

but he didn’t trust him, he doesn’t trust anyone but James. Relying on someone is different. 

This closeness was a product of their group going on numerous missions together, enough missions to refine their fighting styles in tandem with each other's abilities.

As of now, the team were following a trail and gathering information requested by Stryker. From what Peter could piece together it was a diamond smuggling group they were following in Nigeria. Nigeria! He had lived 13 years of his life never leaving New York and now he was in Nigeria!

Wilson swung his katana as he walked, cutting down each astray branch with a swift swing. Peter walked along side him, the groups walked in pairs due to the tight walkway and Peter was always stuck with Wade in these situations, mainly because no one else wanted to be with him. Wade said it was because he was too amazing that he overshadowed whoever he as with and that's why. Peter had doubts. He actually didn’t mind the guy though, he was funny, didn’t treat him like some innocent kid, and he had your back most of the time. So what if he had little filter and couldn’t keep his gob shut? We all have flaws. Not that Peter would tell Wade any of this because his ego would grow so big it would be visible from the moon.

"You know bug, you make my life ten times harder" he threw out half heartedly, swiping the weapon once again, causing a vibrant bird to flutter out of the bush in panic.

"Spiders are arachnids, and how so?" Peter said, humouring the man. He was fed up of his whining, he was complaining all day about the walking and the hot weather. If he didn't want the mosquitoes to bite, he shouldn't have worn a sleeveless top.

"You forget to kill the enemies, I always have to pick up after ya" he said, shooting him a look to gauge his reaction, Peter kept his eyes trained to the walkway and squashed the urge to look back.

"Sorry" he shrugged, next time he will man up. It's just, the way they look up the barrel of the gun with fear in their eyes, or how they beg for mercy, saying they have families to feed. Peter tries to pull the trigger, he does, but every time he just knocks them out and hopes for the best. Apparently Wade has been clearing up behind him though, all he succeed in earning was a blotch on his reputation.

"Normally what I do, I don't know about you though, I uh pull the trigger, and whoop dee doo! Hells got a fresh new face and the devil loves you even more!" He says like it's obvious, which it is. Yet he still speaks like Peter is an idiot that does not understand, Peter wishes he didn’t understand. Peter did bring this one upon myself though.

"I'm pretty sure you are the devil, Wilson" Peter drawls, deflecting easily.

"As much as I'd just love to participate in whatever hot love life god and the devil have going on I just don't have the horns and tail" Wade said as Peter scrunched his nose in disgust "those too are no doubt boning, biggest enemies to lovers I've ever seen" he drones on, ignoring as Peter shook his head, exasperated "fifty shades of grey is just a bible rewrite, I'm telling ya"

"Stop traumatising the kid, Wilson" Logan called back, pausing his bickering with Victor the chastise him.

"Too late" Peter said grimly.

"Right anyway got a little off track there-"

"-a little?"

"Look have you ever watched hacksaw ridge?" Wade said, seeing as he can't say anything without making an analogy.

"Nope" Peter said, hydra didn't exactly supply him with movies.

"Ugh okay whatever the main guy is all like 'uh I can't shoot anyone because I'm like selfless and shit' and everyone else is like ‘idiot, this is a war you're meant to shoot'  anyway, the guy doesn't shoot anyone- that guy is you" he said, changing his voices from high to low as he talked, flailing his hands too, to emphasise his point but all he really succeeded in was nearly decapitating Peter.

"I don't see how we're alike" Peter said simply.

Wade groaned "you no shoot, because you Pussy?" He asked in horrendously simple form.

"No it was a mistake, whatever it won't happen again" Peter said forcefully with a roll of his eyes.

"Good 'cause I don't have time to be clearing  up after ya kid" he said with a shrug.

They walked in silence from then on, the only sound being the birds chirping, their boots trudging in the mud and the katana sharply cutting through the crisp air. Finally Logan told them to set camp down in a relatively clear spot with less trees. It would take them at least another day to get to their destination so the tents would have to do.

Sitting around the fire eating rabbit (Victor had killed one with his claws only to see he completely ruined the meat as-well, after that Zero just shot one in the head leaving the body untouched and edible) felt all too domestic.

Wade kept budging him, he was like an annoying puppy. But more like a feral raccoon with rabies.

"Ugh what?" Peter finally snapped, giving the man his attention.

"So like, what's your villain origin?" He said, eyes bright in anticipation.

"What does that even mean?" Peter said with a sigh.

"Well I'm sure this isn't some fucked up version of the goonies where you search and kill people instead of find treasure, so what got you here?" He said, Peter only really under stood the end so he went off that.

"Hydra put me here?" He answered in a question.

Wade groaned "for someone supposedly so smart you are a dumbass, not too mention you are as dry as a granny's va-"

"Okay Wade we get it, keep it PG" Logan snapped.

"Sorry Wolvy, anywho, what kinda wack Mandela effect ended you, an 8 year old, in a black ops assassination group? I'm just dying to know where they pulled you out of?" He said, Wade constantly pushed the boundaries, like a little fungi, begging to grow on you.

"Uh they killed my parents and kidnapped me when I was four." He said blandly, if he thinks he's getting anymore out of him then he's an idiot.

"Ugh boring"

"Wade" about half the group hissed at him for his insensitiveness.

"What! Who here's parents haven't died?" He asked. 

That caused everyone to look around awkwardly but no one to raise a hand. 

"Logan actually killed our father" Victor said with an inappropriate smug smile.

Logan whipped his head around "that's a sensitive topic Victor, don't joke" 

"Oh so what! He was an abusive drunk asshole!" Victor sighed, like he was tired of his stepbrothers antics.

Peter pushed back instinctively, the two were always bickering, but not about anything that matters. 

"I didn't mean to kill him" Logan said with a snarl.

"He had it coming, he killed the only person who actually treated you like a son" Victor snorted.

"Enough Victor, it's getting late, I'm heading to bed" he said, lighting a cigar he got from god knows where and skulking back to the tent he shared with Victor. After gaining a few awkward stares Victor followed him.

After an even more awkward silence Wade spoke "Alright...well I'm hitting the sack, you coming Spidey?" He said, standing up and grabbing Peter’s shirt to drag with him, not waiting for an answer.

"Don't call me that"

"Whatever, snuggle down there little one” he yawned, pointing to a bundle of old uncomfy blankets.

“I hate you” Peter said as he reluctantly threw one over himself, without the fire it was pretty cold. He edged to the side of the tent, as far away from Wade as he could get.

Wade just mumbled something into the pillow and splayed himself across more than half the sleeping area.

Peter accepted his faith of a night full of nightmares including far too much of James for his liking.

Once they reached the area it seemed to be a huge compound in the middle of the trees. They were only scoping it out ten minutes before they heard an engine rumbling behind them.

Looking back they saw Stryker walk up, still looking as pristine and professionally as ever. A jeep he had rode there was behind him.

“Why couldn’t we go in the car?” Wade mumbled, but was promptly elbowed in the stomach by Fred.

Coming to a stop before them, Stryker spoke “Get rid of the guards, I must interrogate the commander of this facility” he explained simply and drably.

Agent Zero attacked first, shooting the men on the floor with unmatched precision. As Peter and Wade went to help him take down the abundance of guards on the floor, Victor and Logan scaled up the building using their claws and took down the guards within while also serving as look out.

Peter had found it creepy when they had done that first, but he as become accustomed to it, not to mention they probably thought the same as him.

He swung past, webbing the guards’ feet to the ground, flipping and turning on the webs like he was as used to it as he was walking. Pulling out some knives from his belt, he shut his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath, when he was about to throw he heard Wade call up to his perch.

“Thanks for webbing these guys up Spidey, made shooting them a dosey” he shouted with a grin, Peter looked at the rifle in his hand, then at the bloodied victims. Oh.

“Stealing my kills, Wilson?” He called back, trying to hide how grateful he was, as he scaled the building to assist Logan and Victor. 

“Sure am Spidey” the man said much to knowingly for Peter’s liking. He swung his katanas recklessly on the floor below them so he could get up the stairway. 

Taking one last look out the window he spotted Fred stick his fist in the barrel of the tank attacking from the perimeter, the tank loudly blew up on its self, destroying it while leaving Fred unscratched.

Peter turned to spot all the guards on the floor unable to move, either they had three gaping holes in their torso from Victor or Logan’s claws, knocked out and webbed by Peter, or had limbs cleanly cut off by Wade. It was gruesome, but nothing he hadn’t seen before.

He joined his team loading into the small elevator awkwardly. The music started playing, much to light hearted for the current situation. The elevator stayed quite besides the music until they reached the fourth floor, where the lights and music promptly shut off and the elevator stopped with a jolt.

John reached forward to press the button but nothing happened.

“Great” Wade said sarcastically “stuck in an elevator with 5 guys on a high protein diet”

“Oh Wade” someone mumbled, exasperated.

“Dreams really do come true” he continued in the same tone.

“Just shut it!” Stryker said. “You’re up next”

“Thank you sir, you look really nice today” he said, earning a laugh from Chris in the corner who was trying to cover it. Peter just rolled his eyes, Wades inability to shut his mouth will get him killed one day.

“It’s the green, it really brings out the seriousness in your eyes” Wade continued.

“Oh my god do you ever shut up pal?” Logan said what they were all thinking.

“No. Not when I’m awake” Wade said, earning an eye roll from Logan.

“He actually talks in his sleep too, never sharing a tent again” Peter mumbled.

“Bradley top floor please” Stryker cut across their bickering.

Nodding, Bradley used his powers to turn pack on the lights and send the elevator slowly up to the 12th floor.

“Time to go to work” Wade said when it opened.

He stepped out, people started shooting instantly. He spun his katanas to deflect them he walked forward. He positioned them as he went to bounce back to the shooters and hit some others with his katanas as he walked. Making his way through like a murderous blur. Turning in the air as he jumped, he buried the swords in two other guards’ chests when he landed. Killing all the guards in under a minute.

Looking at only the commander of the facility left in the room he swung the katana in his hand and turned back “okay, people are dead”

Peter followed the Colonel out of the elevator with the others.

“If you didn’t have that mouth on you Wade, you’d be the perfect soldier” Stryker said, pulling off his gloves as he advanced. 

Peter saw the guy reach for a shot gun, he quickly shot a web, sticking his hand to the table. The man looked over to him, aghast, Peter shot him a quick grin and a wave with his web shooter hand. John teleported over and took the gun before he could make any more moves for it “I wouldn’t do that if I were you brother” 

The man turned back to Stryker “keep your diamonds, they’re yours” he said, eyes wide and sweat dripping from his forehead.

“I don’t want your diamonds” he said, reaching forward and pulling a semi transparent black metal block off of his desk. “I want this”

“But that is nothing, a souvenir” he said in confusion.

“Where did you find it, I want the source”

“A small village, far inland, three days a year”

“What d’you think that was?” Wade asked the group as they continued their journey, towards the village no doubt. Stryker had already left in his Jeep earning dirty looks from all of them, even Logan.

“An adamentium meteorite” Peter answered simply.

Wade turned to him “how do you know that?”

“You guys don’t read the case files?” Peter asked with a grin and raised eyebrows. For assassins they’re surprisingly not very nosy. Peter likes to know everything beforehand.

“Jesus kid” Logan muttered running a hand downs his face. Normally an action he would save for Wades comments, not Peter.

“We don’t get case files?” Victor said in confusion, he hadn’t caught on yet like his stepbrother.

“…you guys don’t steal the case files?” Peter said sceptically, he didn’t think he was actually the only one. They were so easy to get in Stryker’s office.

“No I don’t steal from the only guy who’s keeping me out of prison” Logan drawled.

“He won’t find out so what’s the harm?” Peter said “besides I like to be informed”

“And why didn’t you start informing your best friend before?” Wade said, throwing his arm over Peter’s shoulder.

“Because I don’t have one” Peter said with a sarcastic smile and removed his arm.

“Here I was, thinking we had something Spidey! You were the only one I trusted!” He said dramatically, earning a shove from Peter.

“Your team are right here! You’re meant to trust us all Wilson” Logan called back.

“And you do?” Wade said and only got a laugh in reply.

“C’mon duckie, you’re bunking with me again”  Wade grinned, he started setting up the tent in his back pack as did the others for the night until they reached the village the next day.

“Okay definitely don’t call me that” Peter said while wrinkling his nose.

“So sorry chickpea! Now don’t sit around while I do all the dirty work!” He said.

“You are incorrigible in the worst way ever” Peter said but got up nonetheless and put his super strength to use by bashing the sides down with a mallet.

“You need to get your beauty sleep Spidey, big mission tomorrow” Wade said, rustling through the tress then plopping himself down beside Peter. It was before sunrise and he had left because he couldn’t stay asleep and he didn’t want to bother Wade, didn’t work either way.

“Mhm” Peter agreed but made no more to get up.

“C’mon Logan’s gonna go full dad on you again if you don’t sleep, do you know how traumatising it is to see him say ‘bub’ in a non satirical way? Normally he uses  it when threatening me!” Wade said dramatically as he threw his hands around.

“He doesn’t go full dad on me shut up” Peter grumbled. “I just can’t sleep” and he really, really missed James right about now. The team were a good distraction, but they could never be James.

“Awhh is Spidey Widey having nightmares and cwant sweep?” Wade said in a baby voice while making his eyes all wide and innocent. The one thing to say about Wilson, was that he treated everyone the same. Sure he was an asshole to everyone but he didn’t make Peter feel like an outsider by treating him with any less assholeness because of his age.

Peter shot him a withering glare “watch it Wilson, I could very easily play off your death as a bear attack right now” Peter threatened.

Wade scoffed “I would believe you if I’ve even seen you kill anyone yet” he said in disbelief.

“Oh shut up” Peter grumbled, not vindicating it with a proper response.

“Look, I’m happy to shoot all your left overs, I would even say it’s just as productive, I know you’re a good fighter. I just wanna know why?” He said, as needy and stubborn as ever.

“What if they aren’t bad people?” Peter said slowly, he was always cautious about giving his opinions but Wilson was easy to talk too. Plus, Peter could out fight him for sure, so if he needed too he could make sure he was never seen again.

“They probably aren’t bad people” Wade said with a shrug “but it’s either this or the other option, and as far as I know, the other option must be pretty shitty if you came here instead” he said genuinely.

“I wasn’t given a choice”

“Your other choice was death then”

“No they wouldn’t kill me either, I’m too valuable” he said with shrug “this is like a summer camp for me to ‘rid me of my weak attachments and emotions’” Peter spat out spitefully.

“I don’t believe you have emotions or attachments”

“It’s working then” Peter said, fidgeting with a leaf in his hand as he talked.

“I don’t get it, why can’t you just run away” Wade said like it was simple. If it was simple he would be living in a cute apartment in Queens with the walls and shelves covered in books and a real proper bed and nice food that he can’t even remember the taste of.

Peter hesitated before he spoke. Despite how much time he spent with Wade, it wasn’t exactly easy to trust. “promise not to speak of this again”

Wade’s face went into a rare seriousness “with that look I’m sure you’re willing to break your no kill contract if I do” he said, Peter kept glaring at him “right yes I promise”

Peter sighed “they can…like uh control me”

“What like blackmail?” Wade said in confusion.

“No literally, they have these words that they say, and then I’m like programmed or some shit to just…comply. Like some crazy killing robot human” he explained…probably very badly.

“‘They fucked with my mind’” Wade repeated.

“Huh?”

“That’s what you said when Logan asked for your name”

“Oh yeah, well everytime it kinda made me…forget…” he said “my friend had it worse though, but he’s safe now and getting better I think” Peter said with a slight smile, as much as he misses James, he’s happy to know he’s doing better.

“So why can’t you do that?” Wade asked.

“He had good connections that could protect him. I would be vulnerable until I at least get the programming out of my brain which I have no idea how to do. Then the punishment would be very bad. Too big of a risk” Peter shrugged, he didn’t like it but he knew it couldn’t change.

“You’re pretty slippery, you could fend for yourself, it’s a big world” Wade said in confidence.

“Don’t underestimate them, besides I have this” Peter said holding out his wrist, if he pushed down on the skin a square outline could be seen under it.

“Holy quakmeister is that a-“

“Tracker yes. Right above this vein-“ he said pointing to it “it would be dangerous to get rid of. Might as well have put it in my neck” he said with a dry, humourless laugh. “They invested to much time in me to let me go”

“Shit kid”

“Ha yeah”

“So you don’t kill because you’ve been a crazy killing robot human for too long, so now you want to do the opposite?” Wade said slowly, like it seemed like an alien subject to him.

Peter nodded “and it really pisses them off” he said with smug grin.

Chapter Text

Wade has seen a lot of fucked up shit in his life, like a lot. 

This easily makes top ten.

When the kid first entered the room his first thought was 'huh' then he went back to lying on his bed while playing Tetris in his mind.

Sure, it seemed weird, the other guys found it weird but he had thought it was just some mistake. He thought there would be a logical reason as to why this kid just showed up.

The kid looked like an exhausted wreck. If someone told him a bus had hit the kid he probably would've believed them. Wade wasn't opposed to letting him sleep it off, in fact he would even advise it. 

The kid made himself known after Wade had called him a noodle (which he stands by) cracked a few sarcastic remarks, threatened Logan and promptly fell back to sleep.

Wade didn't know which was more concerning, Logan letting his gruff badass facade be replaced by a gentle parental one or the fact that the kid was so chill about the whole situation.

Wade was no stranger to abuse, hell, it had taken a prominent role in his childhood with an absent father, a drunken mother and an onslaught of horrible uncles- but this kid went through something incomparable, they could make comics out of him his backstory is so tragic.

After about an hour of the others discussing the kid (mainly 'what the fuck do we do'), Victor got fed up and poked the kid just to spite his brother.

Wade had never seen anyone surprise Victor, but the kid pinning him against a wall and threatening him with a dagger that still had blood on it had surprised everyone, even Wade, so much that he let out a little laugh earning annoyed looks from the others. He laughs in serious situations, and makes jokes, and makes it worse and pretty much does everything you’re not meant to do.

Not to mention, the kid didn't even look shocked when Victor swiped at him with his claws (which he dodged easily??). His eyes did light up though, in a childish kind of glee that looked wrong on his tired beat up face and started geeking out about the science behind it.

Wade didn't know if he should've been disturbed by the whole thing.

He noticed how the kids eyes scoured the whole room, taking note of the exits, possible weapons, and every one in it in a matter of seconds. He noticed how he analysed the whole situation and looked at each of them quickly as if calculating their strengths and weaknesses just by the way they stood. Wade felt like he was being looked at under a microscope, which was ridiculous considering he was really being looked at with big chestnut brown doe eyes that could've made the Grinch’s heart two sizes bigger from just one glance.

Wade wasn't an idiot, despite what everyone thought. It was easier to let people underestimate you because surprise worked amazingly to his advantage in a fight. He noticed how the kid acted innocent, how he flashed a cheesy smile and asked giddy questions about their mutant powers that he probably already knew the answer too. It was crazy how well it worked, the group had all been treated like dirt, been discriminated against far too many times because of their out of the ordinary powers. They were hated so much that their blessing became a curse.

Everyone's heart softened when this beat up scrawny teen treated their abnormalities like cool tricks that he was envious of. Even Wade, who knew exactly what this kid was doing, couldn't help but want to take the teen under his wing when he said 'cool katanas' instead of 'shut up mutant scum'.

He actually knew the type of sword! And appreciated how cool they were, that earned Wades respect instantly.

It was refreshing to say the least.

When the kid sat on his bed once everyone was worn out from the unexpected introductions Wade joined him. The kid cleaned his wounds easily, like he had done it far too many times. Wade pointed out somethings, trying to help. The kid only shook his head and showed how his body dealt with most of the injuries with an impressive healing factor while he fixed up the bigger problems like a pro. He obviously knew his own limits and body well so Wade decided to let him at it while he swung his legs back and forth and asked him questions to pretended he wasn't only sitting on the kids bed to act like a guard dog who was ready to bite at any give notice.

Wade hated the name 'Spider', the kid obviously wasn't fond of it either but Wade wasn't about to ask more questions. He liked to push boundaries which he knew people found annoying but he wouldn't go too far. People often told him he crossed a line but he liked to think his line is just a bit further then the others because he's the only one who has the guts to get to it. So what if people get annoyed with him? He's never gone so far that people get angry enough to not at-least tolerate him. Well, that’s a lie, about 58.5% tolerate him. That’s above half!

Wade called the kid nicknames instead, much to his disapproval. Wade knew however, that even the kid appreciated the friendly tones of 'bud', 'pal', 'kiddo' etc and even stopped complaining about 'Spidey' after a while. Wade just wanted to show him he had someone on his side.

Not that he needed any more people on his side, the kid could fend for himself alright. Everyone was surprised to see him fight on missions. He took anyone who approached him with ease that all the older members were envious. Let's just say they were all happy Spidey was on their side and not the opposite. Despite this, everyone seemed to secretly adore him. Everyone noticed how he was the glue of the group that kept them all together.

Wade didn't think that the kid even realised, but 'Spidey Protection Club' was probably a more apt name then 'Team X'.

Wade had seen Woleverine act more gently then he even thought was possible. Frankly he found it terrifying in the oddest way possible.

The kid was sitting on a worn down wooden fence, bathing in the sun like a cat (Wade hates that his first concern was to put sun cream on him) while he swung his legs back and forth, something Wade knows for a fact that he picked up from yours truely.

The walk to the village was long, excruciatingly long if Wade says so himself. Spidey had called him a drama queen but he was the only one not slouching and dragging their feet. Maybe it was some freaky teenage force. Somehow his sarcastic comments and witty remarks were funny and endearing and as much as he tried to hide it, it was obvious he was amazed at every new place they reached.

As shit as Wades childhood was at least he's had some sense of freedom. The fact that this kids childhood was so god damn awful that it made Wade feel grateful that he could at least run away when his mom got a bit too drunk was saying something. From passing remarks it sounded like before the kid couldn't even leave a room before he came here, no wonder he's happy with this arrangement.

Wolverine leaned against the rickety fence next to the kid and watched with a tiny smile as he pointed out the different types of birds flying around above them. The kid was a genius, pointing out each quickly just from a blur of colour as they flew past, telling Logan what their prey is, their flying style, fun facts and other stuff just from memory. He knew a lot of stuff, more then Wade anyway. Not just useless stuff like birds, he sought out knowledge. Wade had no idea how, but he knew everything about their missions that they shouldn't know. He knew the kid stole the case files (and only because he told them) but he had no idea how.

Logan looked somewhat interested but was mostly just taking his time to relax as it was only a little pit stop to get their breathe back. While Spidey seemed more like he wasn't breathing at all he was talking so much. It was funny how contradicting his moods could be, sometime he would be sarcastic and sly and other times he could be earnest and as energetic as a puppy. 

Logan swatted at a mosquito, his relaxed face slowly turning into a scowl. The pests kept on flying out of his reach as they buzzed annoyingly. Wade hid a laugh as he watched. Spidey just kept talking as if he didn't even realise what was happening. He never got bothered by mosquitoes, Wade realised, he had no right calling Wade a baby that one time when he got bit because as far as Wade could tell even the mosquitoes liked him.

Finally the kid realised and let out a small smile "mosquito is actually a Spanish, and Portuguese, for little fly"

Wade couldn't hold back a laugh at that, or how Wolverine scowled harder as the kid continued. He swatted another only to let out a yelp as another bit.

"You should really wear repellent, the land we're passing is very boggy which attracts them, not to mention the fact the sweat attracts them also. You could get malaria if you're not careful it's actually quite deadly when not treated quickly" The kid said with a hardly noticeable shit eating grin. Oh my god, he thought, the kid is totally messing with Wolvy. Best day ever! and Wade has front row seats.

"I'll kill em first" he growled, letting the bones grow out from his muscles with a death stare to the bug. He swiped, but they were to small and quick for even the claws.

The kid noticed, with a quirked eyebrow and a tiny smile "doesn't matter, their lifespan is only 2 months anyway" he said with a shrug.

"Is it just me or are they more attracted to me?" he said again in a growl as he kept on swiping like a cat chasing a laser.

To be fair, he does seem to have an unnatural amount chasing him in Wades opinion.

"Body odour perhaps" the kid shrugged, his eyes much too bright for the situation. Wade felt like he was too happy.

"They are attracted to perspiration and considering we have been walking in the heat all day, they also like potassium, salt and lactose acids your body releases. And fragrances from perfumes or cologne, especially floral" he said the last part with a very big grin that Logan didn't realise because his back was faced to him.

Logan sniffed his shirt then turned slowly towards the teen "why does my shirt smell like flowers?" He asked through gritted teeth.

He tried to stay indifferent but his eyes were bright with mischief  "Did you get a new perfume?"

"I knew I shouldn't have trusted you with laundry duty" he growled "I'm killing him right after you bub" he said pointing at the mosquito then charged at the teen.

Wade was absolutely dying until he saw the kid dodge a hit then hop from the fence and sprint right over to him. Wade didn’t need a wolf man charging at him! He tried to sign ‘abort!abort!’ To the kid who was leading him over to Wade but he just laughed. Laughed!

Wade froze in place as Peter ran towards him with a grin planted on his face "actually the mosquitos a 'her', only females bite" he said back to Logan, then used Wade as a human shield.

"Don't think I won't go through Wilson to get to you" he said earning a laugh from the kid who looked like he wouldn't mind Wade getting trampled like a Spanish bullfighter act gone wrong.

Wade was tired just watching the two, Logan was charging him around in circles to get revenge as Spider just laughed like he was having the time of his life.

Next thing he knows he's being held captive by an angry Wolverine "I have your buddy captive, surrender or he suffers"

"What that's not fair!" Wade cries in outrage.

"He isn't my buddy" the kid said at the same time.

"Hey! Spidey words hurt" he frowned, feigning disappointment as he used his free hand to clutch at his heart theatrically.

Logan poked him harshly in the stomach "Oi! Watch it"

"Okay okay fine! I surrender, let the hostage go" the kid said, Wade ran towards safety and away from the angry wolf man.

Wade was pretty sure no one was even angry anymore, just playing on in a fun lighthearted game.

Wade hid behind Spidey "he poked me really hard" Wade said dramatically, rubbing his side. Earning a small smile from him along with an eye roll.

"Baby"  he teased. Wade stuck his tongue out immaturely.

"As punishment you have to wear the mosquito shirt" Logan said.

"Fine"

"Fine?"

"I'm not a scaredy cat like you" he said with his nose in the air and his head puffed out in faux arrogance.

Logan smile despite himself "you won't be saying that later"

They swapped shirts, which was possibly a worse deal for Wolverine, Spidey was a bit shorter then everyone, not having gotten his proper growth spurt yet and hasn't had a big enough protein intake for him to get buff like the others. Making his shirt on Logan close to a crop top and very tight.

That made Wade and the kid crack up even more as they both sent him wolf whistles and Logan to scowled. 

“Do a spin wolf boy” Wade called, quickly shutting up from the stare he got after.

The kid rocked the oversized tee by just tucking it in slightly and making it look intentional while Wolvy, looked like the shirt could tear any minute.

And it very much did, he swiped at the mosquito that he promised to kill too vigorously sending a tear down the black hydra issued shirt.

"Hey my shirt!" The kid complained but he didn't look too bothered as he laughed his ass off with Wade, clutching their stomach and wiping away tears of laughter at the scene.

"Too hot for a shirt anyway" he grumbled and walked off angrily.

Wade turned to the kid who was finally regaining his breathe "you are an evil demon child" he stated.

"Thank you" The kid said like it was a compliment, he took credit for his prank proudly.

"Good luck in that shirt though, you can't avoid them forever" Wade said, somewhat sympathetically, but he needed a turn with the mosquitos.

"Nuh uh" he said, with no further explanation besides slapping Wade on the shoulder.

"What does that mean?!" Wade called after him only earning a chuckle.

After that Logan somewhat joined their group in a love/hate kinda way.

He still mostly hung with Victor and acted like they both got on his very last nerve but sometimes he joined in on their conversations and jokes, or walked with them after he got tired of bickering with his brother. 

Plus after the day with the mosquitos, the kid had started a prank war.

"I'm gonna get you back"

"You already got me back!"

"You didn't tell me that your freaky spider DNA repels mosquitos"

"Not my fault" Peter said with a laugh.

Wade would never tell the other two but he liked what they had, it was like he had the brothers he had always wanted as a child. The way that Logan and Wade ganged up on the kid to tease him sometimes really made him realise what the guys at school when he was a kid were talking about when they were bickering with their younger brother.

Wade also noticed the envious look Logan's real brother shot them. No one had ever really gotten along with Victor, he kinda kept to himself most of the time besides his chats with Logan but Wade still felt a little bad. He really liked the dynamic he has but if he was taking away from Victor then it didn't feel so nice.

Wade is not the only one who noticed this, every once in a while when Victor looks too sad (Victor showing emotions??) he sees Peter subtly bring Logan towards him then says he has to go. It's like he's silently depositing a package. After a while even Victor catches on, Wade expects him to go ballistic. 

To Wades surprise he just follows the kid with his eyes, he is walking away with a smug smile, not realising he has been caught yet. Logan strikes up conversation with him with a cocky grin and Victor slowly turns to him with a tiny smile.

After that, they aren't even subtle about sharing Logan and the only person who doesn't realise the little deal they have going on is Logan himself. Everyone is a bit bemused at the whole ordeal but say nothing, like he said, Peter is the glue.

“No oh my god do it again!” John requested as everyone laughed along. They were camping out again, which Wade personally wasn’t cut out for. Really, he was too delicate for this lifestyle! Either was on the way to the village they found another, smaller village. One with a bar. One with alcohol.

They sat around a roaring fighter, most nursing beers except for Victor who was drinking Vodka straight and Logan who was drinking whiskey and smoking a cigar like a rich old white man. And of course, the kid, Wade had given him a juice box but the kid didn’t take it well (he spat at his feet and stalked off, talk about moody hormonal teenager) and now he was sulking at not being able to join in.

“I’m literally an assassin! I can handle a drink” he pouted, clenching his fist around the juice box so a little bit of apple juice leaked out.

“Aww little baby wants some alcohol” Wade teased in a baby voice, making all his drunk idiot friends laugh and Peter to scowl.

“You’re mean when your drunk” he said, pulling out the puppy eyes and looking around sadly.

“I’m sure he can have one-“

“Yeah it couldn’t hurt”

“Just a taste”

“Fools! He’s corrupting you with his puppy eyes” Wade called, Peter laughed at how easy it was as Wade smacked the back of his head lightly like a reprimanding mother.

“Mr Wilson please I’m oh so thirsty” he teased pulling out the eyes and sticking out his lower lip.

“Drink your juice child” Wade said as heartlessly as possible.

“Drink this” Victor said happily, shoving a literal bottle of Vodka, (that was half gone? Already?) into a child’s hand.

“Victor no” Logan snatched the bottle before Peter could get his hands on it.

“Spoil sport” Victor said.

“Party pooper” Peter complained.

They smiled at each other approvingly. 

He got Victor to smile? Who was this child?

“Why are you doing that with your face?” Victor said, squinting at Spidey.

“I’m…smiling?”

“You are baring your teeth, that’s not smiling”

“Smiling is baring your teeth” he said matter of factly.

“Oh my god how didn’t I notice this” Wade said with a chuckle as he looked at him who looked like an angry puppy growling at someone.

“I always smile like this!” He said defensively as he closed his mouth, scowling instead of smiling.

“No no you smirk like an arrogant fucker” Logan said, slurring his words. You know you’ve had too much to drink when Logan is tipsy, the guy was far from a light weight.

“I- uh- just shut up” he said, his face reddening which was hilarious because he never showed how he was really, really feeling if it could somehow used to someone’s advantage.

Wade must take advantage.

“Awh he’s embarrassed!!” He cooed and batted his lashes excessively.

“No I’m not” he said, his red face begged to differ.

Wade was a little bit touched, in a weird way. At the start Spidey was almost as closed off as Victor, albeit a few sarcastic comments here and there, some threats now and then and an overall air of ‘don’t come near me’. Now he was comfortable enough to sit around a fire and chat, ramble excitedly about random facts he picked up from god knows where, play pranks on scary wolf man and more. Not that Wade would say that, instead he decided to pinch the kids cheeks like an adoring aunty and make kissy lips as the others laughed at his horrified face.

The kid had made progress, he was no longer the defensive, cagey, scrawny kid who got hit by a bus.

The fire started dying down, leaving only glowing red embers and spontaneous sparks to aid the twinkling stars in lighting up the area. They grew tired as they chatted, and slowly sobered up so that they started feeling the tiredness from the long night. 

The comfortable silence drew on as morning grew closer and nearly everyone’s eyelids were drooping.

“Peter.”

“Huh?” Wade said elegantly (not) as he opened his eyes slowly. The other seemed to peek through their eyelids as-well.

“Uhm you don’t have to call me Spider, Peter’s my real name so yeah” he mumbled, looking frazzled as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He seemed to be regretting it already.

“I thought you couldn’t remember your name?” Logan asked with furrowed eyebrows, Victor snored lightly against his shoulder.

“I shouldn’t be able too” Peter said with a small shrug as he watched the embers intently.

“But you do? Why not tell us before?” Wade said shoving an over the kids shoulder and pulling him into his chest roughly. He didn’t even fight it anymore, Peter went with his fate.

“Scared you were hydra” he mumbled, the late night taking its toll on his little teenage brain. Wade knew Peter would hate to hear him call it that.

‘Scared you were hydra’ 

That made Wades heart hurt a little. Wade couldn’t even blame him it took him this long to trust with even a name. When everything’s stripped from you, the stuff you have left to yourself suddenly becomes very valuable. It hurts that a thirteen year old only had his name left to himself.

He trusts them enough to give them this. It’s not anything big. Peter gives everything his all though. And it’s not his fault his all isn’t very big this time around.

Wade shares a brief rare serious look with Logan, they both nod. A quick gesture to show understanding. They will protect this kid.

Wade didn’t think he was capable of genuine affection, not after everything. If younger him could see him right now he would probably be waiting for him to mess it up somehow. Crack an insensitive joke. Piss someone off. But he didn’t, no, not this time.

Chapter Text

The break from the blazing sun was a relief in the last legs of the journey. They were so close they could see the warm yellow lights that illuminated the small village. They crossed a large open space, filled with dying plant life and yellow grass, no animals in sight. If they couldn’t see the village in sight Peter would’ve thought this place was too dead to have people occupy it. Yet as they grew closer Peter saw that the village was healthy. It was natural, unlike modern towns and cities it had straw huts and one large fire illuminating the middle. People say around it like the team had done while they were camping. The community was small but close.

The revving of an engine seemed unnatural in such a place and the bustling voices that carried through the air towards them silenced as they watch with curiosity.

Peter knew he wasn’t the only one scowling as Stryker showed up in his pristine suit, ironed and fitted appropriately, hair gelled to the side and hat under his arm. Meanwhile they stood in grubby clothes they could only wash in stream water (Logan only had an undershirt on due to previous events…), dead on their feat and probably all a little sun burned. Apparently most Canadians didn’t do well with the heat. No one bothered to hide their jealous resentment, not even Peter. He sidled up with a self satisfied smirk on his face, enjoying the look of his beat down soldiers, perhaps? He kept walking towards the village without a word. They followed wordlessly, though no one really wanted to.

It was so unlike their other missions, like in Cuba where he went with Wade to assassinate a somewhat morally wrong diplomat, or when he went to Southeast Asia with Logan, Victor and John to take out an opposing team, even Berlin Germany was a pretty small ordeal where they only had to steal something belonging to the KGB (Peter actually felt good about that one, the same organisation was responsible for the red room. He was thinking of Yelena and how he weirdly missed her for the whole mission). Still, the outlier, was he could find a reason why these were somewhat justifiable, sure these people probably didn’t deserve what was happening to them but they should at least get a few years in prison. Stryker made it seem as though they were fighting for the good of their country (Peter’s not even Canadian!)

But it was as if a devil was sitting on his shoulder and telling him to do these things, when rationally, he knew they weren’t exactly good things. It was either this or Hydra, which admittedly, felt kind of selfish, was he saving his own skin over the victims of this organisations? Or was he better off here because he was probably doing more damage at the Hydra base anyway?

Either way, not even Peter could justify attacking a village full of innocent people. His heart hammered in his chest, he knew Stryker was going big or go home, he could tell by the look in his eyes, so similar to the manic one the commander would get often. He could read people well like that, one talent he had even before Hydra. 

Both Logan and Victor let their claws out. Logan more for defence…Peter couldn’t say the same about Victor. Despite their weird bond in sharing Logan, Victor had always been the most dangerous in the group in Peter’s eyes. Mainly because of the look that he got, the way he would observe from the corner, Peter could see him scanning everyone as if he was mentally taking notes on every strength and weakness they possessed. Peter felt as if everyone in the group had a little trust for each other, not so much proper trust, but trust in that they won’t stab you in the back, trust that they won’t do anything bad to each other. Peter had always felt Victor had never shared that trust.

They reached the village, the look of naive unknowing on the villagers faces made Peter’s stomach turn. He knew what the commander would be saying ‘after all these years Spider you still disappoint me, how many times have I told you mercy is for the weak?’

Peter did feel weak, but for all the wrong reasons. He was going into this battle with a sense of protectiveness, not hatred or vengeance.

He watched Wade unsheathe his katanas. Peter sent him a desperate look that he hoped convey his feelings. Wade shrugged weakly in response. What choice did they have?

Peter kept his middle and ring finger placed steadily on his web-shooters. A merciful weapon that Hydra looked down upon, consequently they were Peter’s favourite weapon. 

Stryker marched up to where the fire was blazing, Peter felt clammy from the heat. He picked up a rock from the ground, Peter didn’t recognise it until he lifted it up and the light from the fire shimmered and reflected off it.

The villagers seemed done with staring in shock, they protested against them, speaking Nigerian, Peter assumed, one of the few languages Peter didn’t know well.  At one point the fire spread, catching on the dead yellow grass and surrounding them dangerously, it stopped spreading before it could cause too much havoc, nothing left to burn except huts too far away. It settled for shimmering on the ruddy red dirt instead.

Everyone was still shouting, Peter took a step back, there was not doubt they were the bad guys in this situation and that thought only solidified as his tea -his team- was forcing them on to their knees with their hands behind their heads on their own land.

Wade stepped forward, and to everyone’s surprise spoke in their language perfectly. It was such a Wade thing to do that despite the situation Peter found himself rolling his eyes. Whatever he said calmed them momentarily. Fear still flickered in their eyes however. Men, women and children were all gathered on the ground. Peter only gulped and sent a desperate look to Logan who had paled slightly himself. Everything felt wrong. One man spoke up, Peter couldn’t understand but there was anger and protectiveness in his voice.

Stryker turned to Wade with raised eyebrows, before fixing his gaze back on the rock. The flames reflected menacingly in his eyes “tell them” he said, addressing Wade without looking up “this rock is more valuable to me then his life” he said, holding the rock above the man who protested’s face. He was still kneeling and looking up at the rock in fear.

Wade hesitated before translating quickly. The words had an effect on all of them as they shifted and eyed each other. Children inched closer to the adults and it seemed everyone was holding one shared breath of anxiety.

“Ask him where he found it” he said in the same gravely voice. Wade translated.

The man spoke quickly, voice wavering, eventually he must have been rambling because Wade cut him off in the other language then sighed. “He says it came from the sky” he said to Stryker with a look of unbelieving. Peter should of spoke then, he knew they were telling the truth, he knew they didn’t deserve this curse that fell with the blessing.

“He’s telling the truth” Wolverine spoke for him, his voice steady and defiant. Maybe he was remembering the information Peter told him about the meteorite.

“You don’t know the language, Logan” the colonel said arrogantly.

“It’s a meteor fragment” Logan explained.

“I know what it is” he said with an exasperated sigh, as if Logan was some child that was up to no good “I’m asking where he found it”

His ignorance was eye roll worthy.

“Sir” Bradley spoke up, holding a hand to his ear where his communication device was “base wants to know our location” he said.

“Shut them down.” 

“Yes.”

Now Peter knew it was really bad, even the colonel knew he wasn’t meant to be doing this. Peter shifted uneasily, some other members did too, having come to the same conclusion. 

“Tell him everyone here dies unless he tells me where he found the rock” Stryker said, eyes manic, he was holding up the rock to the man’s face.

A look of shock flickered in Logan’s eyes and he looked like he wanted to stop everything but held himself back.

Peter did start forward but Wade put a hand on his shoulder and shoved him behind his back protectively. God that man was an idiot sometimes. Peter could take Stryker easily, he could take the whole team if he needed to, okay well not Logan and Victor joined together but by the looks of it Logan is on his side anyway! He can’t just stand around and let it happen. He’s had enough of all of it, what’s the point anymore? Is he gonna be a tormentor, a villain his whole life? Once this team collapses in on itself, which inevitably will -it being full of unstable mutants who don’t actually want to be here- Peter will just go back to missions, back to being controlled, back to missing James everyday until one day he just doesn’t care anymore and gets killed on a mission. Or worse, spends his whole life going in and out of cyro freeze.

He doesn’t want this life anymore, even after all the tainting, the tormenting and torturing Hydra did to his brain, they couldn’t change his morals. He knew this was wrong and everything in him was telling him to put an end to it.

Wade translates, unease settles over the villagers on the ground.

Wade listens to his respond then shakes his head with a sigh “he’s says it’s sacred”

“Fine” Stryker says, like the man’s whole existence is a inconvenience. “Victor.” He orders, patting the man’s shoulder.

Stryker turns away.

Victor looks down for a second, for one sweet moment Peter thought it was in protest, or even in hesitation. Yet a smirk spread across his face. Peter shut his eyes for a brief moment, Peter thought that they had made progress, he hated that he was right that Victor didn’t share his trust. Maybe it was because they never trusted him. Maybe it was because he never gave them a reason to.

Victor smiled and puts a clawed hand on the back of the mans neck.

Panic breaks out, people start getting up and running, people are screaming. Peter aims his web shooter quickly and sends two quick shots that he knows won’t last long against Victors strength. One to each hand so they can’t move. He growls, his canines were always longer then Logan’s giving him an animalistic look.

His senses were going crazy with everyone around him and he’s too slow to notice someone accidentally bashing into him. He hits his head on a rock when he falls to the ground and groans. It’s a blur but he hears gun shots and sees Zero, John and Bradley all shooting.

He feels somewhat disappointed, even more so when he sees Wade with his katanas out. He knows deep down that they are some bit good, just misguided and following orders but for some reason he had hoped they would fight back this time. But stumbling to his feet in the midst of it all, Peter couldn’t say he was any better. Who was he? A child assassin? A Hydra lackey? He’s probably killed more people than they have. He’s weak, cowardly, selfish, above all he’s just disappointed, more so then ever in himself. And so, so tired.

He sees Logan and meets his eyes, he’s struggling on the ground too.

He sees a flash of fear in the man’s eyes before he’s getting to his feet so fast it gave Peter whiplash just looking at him. He stumbled before quickly steadying himself and shouts “Victor!”

Victor breaks from the restraints Peter had put on him but before he can stab the man in the neck with his claws Logan catches his arm. Their hands are both wavering with fighting off their equal strength and Logan stares at him stubbornly. The same kind of stubborn he looks when he tells Victor to layer up when they were in Siberia and Victor just grumbled saying he was the older sibling, the same kind of stubborn of when he told Victor he must wrap his fists before punching. The protective kind of stubborn. Like he knew if Victor went down this road he wouldn’t come back. 

“Don’t even think about it” he growled at Victor.

Everyone seems to stop fighting, they point their guns at the ground momentarily, all heaving and tired. Logan had always been something of a leader.

“We didn’t sign up for this” he hissed at Victor. He was angry and disappointed, he clenched his teeth and tilted his head “put him down”

Victor pulled his hand away defensively but let the man go. He looked around to Wade who was spinning the katana before putting it back on his back. Bradley who still had his machine gun crossed over his chest but not aimed. He was breathing hard and looked to Peter who still had all his knives neatly placed in their places, the only weapon out was his web-shooters. He gave Victor a tight reassuring smile, it was all he could offer.

Victor looked back to Logan “What are you doing?” He breathed shaking his head “we finally got a good thing going here don’t you screw this up” his eyes darted around as he spoke, Peter recognised the anxiety crawling into his voice.

“Enough” Logan said, looking to the floor, almost guiltily “that’s enough, we’ve done enough” 

Peter could relate too much for his liking, he knew how Logan was feeling. This has gone too far.

“Who do you think you are” Victor said gravely. “This is what we do, maybe you’d rather be rotting in a hole somewhere” he spat, eyes conflicted. “‘Till they figure out what to do with us. Is that it? Huh?” Revenge and hurt evident in his voice as he spoke, desperation swirling in his eyes.

Peter knew what Victor was feeling, hell he was feeling the same thing. He had a good thing going here. He had friends, not as dear as James just yet but they’re on the road. He has a purpose. Everything was going smoothly until today. Until he saw his friends attack innocents. And Peter knew he was no better. It felt wrong.

“I’m done.” Logan said simply, stubbornly.

“You coming?” He asked Victor. Briefly his eyes flickered to Peter. Peter nodded ever so slightly, showing his support. He turned his gaze to Wade who looked conflicted. This was the kind of stuff Wade was good at, he was good at blocking it out with jokes and sarcastic comments, so was Peter. Peter selfishly wanted Wade to come with him however. He was good deep down, at least a little bit. He wouldn’t kill innocents.

Victor said nothing. Nothing at all, he kept staring into his brothers eyes until Logan turned his back and walked away. 

“Logan!” Victor calls. Victor turns, it doesn’t escape Peter’s notice that his eyes are bloodshot. “We can’t just let you walk away” he says, it sounds like a sob is caught in his throat. It’s the most emotional Peter has ever seen either of them. 

Logan stares at him, pulls off the dog tags with a quick yank and throws them on the ground. He walks away.

“Logan!” Victor calls but he’s walking with his back to them.

Peter’s had enough, he grabs Wades wrist and runs after him. Wade stumbles “Peter wait.”

He never uses Peter’s names, even after Peter told them. Just infuriating ones like ‘Petey pie’ or ‘Pedro’.

Peter turns briefly. The whole team are behind him bar Logan.

He looks at them all “Wade please I can’t do this anymore, I don’t want to” he says, he hates how his eyes sting. He looks to the others, John just nodded. Like he’s making the right decision by going. Victor looks away. Bradley smiled weakly. Fred waves sadly.

His team.

He turns to Wade again he tilts his head “please Wilson, I don’t want this life” 

He only wanted a normal life. 

He remembers what James had said ‘sorry to break it to you kid, but we can’t be what society says is normal, that ship sailed along with our free will’ 

Well, it’s worth a try isn’t it?

Wade sighs then let’s a small smile “you know those puppy dog eyes always get me”

Peter smiled, not a baring his teeth smile, a proper smile, lighting up his whole face.

“Oh I don’t think your commander would be all that happy if I let you go just like that now?” Stryker said, he came back without anyone noticing, popping back in like a blood thirsty ghost. A gun strapped over his shoulder, a bag in his hand.

“We’re going, it doesn’t matter” Peter says defiantly, gripping Wades wrist and starts to turn. He never felt so sure about something in his life.

“Sure, I’ll let Logan go, he will come scampering back eventually, stray dogs always do..” he says casually. Victor growls, stepping forward but doesn’t pounce.

“But you, no you’re much too valuable” he says, shaking his head with a fake laugh that annoys Peter to no end, making his eye twitch.

“It doesn’t matter we’re leaving, c’mon Wade” he says in a huff. He doesn’t need to deal with this man.

“No I don’t think you will” he says, with confidence. Too much confidence. He knows Peter could take him, he knows the others won’t try and stop him. 

Peter turns back with a withering glare. “You don’t control me, colonel” he spat, eyeing the man like he was the ‘vile mistake of the earth’ for once.

“Oh but I do” a sickening smile spread across his face, he glanced quickly down at the bag in his hand. He opened slightly, just so Peter could see a flash of a red leather cover. He didn’t need to see anymore for the blood to drain from his face and his heart to go a few beats to fast.

He could be bluffing.

But it was the same shade of blood red.

It was the same small rectangular shape.

It gave Peter the same dreadful feeling.

“H-how do you have that?” he said, trying to keep his voice steady as he looks at the bag.

“Your commander said I might need it to keep you in line” he shrugged, like he wasn’t taunting Peter with a book that controls him. A book that can make him do anything despite his morals. A book that he thought would never see the light of the day.

“Pete? Peter I thought-“ Wade said, putting a hand on his shoulder, sudden realisation flashed across his face “oh…is that-“ for once Wade didn’t keep talking.

Peter swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded.

The others, who didn’t know as much of Peter’s past as Wade did watched on with confusion but said nothing.

Stryker laughed, dry and humourless, full of only malice and self satisfaction. 

“Search the village, interrogate the villagers, threaten, torture, kill, I don’t care. Just get me more of this” he said while staring at the meteorite like it was all he wanted in life before putting it in the bag next to the book.

The others dispersed on the order. Victor all but stormed off towards the huts as the others either followed him less ferociously or started checking the ground around where the colonel found the first piece. Wade stayed with Peter as he stared at the ground dejectedly.

“I could kill him for you. He would never see me coming, I’d swipe the book and we could run off into the sun set” Wade offered with an optimistic smile.

“I’m such an idiot” Peter muttered sadly anyway. “God how didn’t I think of that I didn’t think the commander would-“ he caught himself off with a groan and ran an angry hand down his face. He’s disappointed Wade, Logan and he can’t just leave, he’s angry he didn’t think of this, he’s full of dread because this will be the rest of his life.

“Hey, hey stop the pacing cmon kid I’ll turn him into a kebab and it will all be over!” Wade said, and he didn’t mean to snap at Wade really, it’s just does he think he never though of that? That killing the commander or Stryker or anyone with access to that god awful book didn’t come into his mind.

“Don’t you get it?” Peter snapped angrily, there’s time to be guilty at Wades shocked face. “I will never ever be normal again! There isn’t a sunset for me Wade. If he’s willing to give his fucking precious super soldier over to Stryker he will be willing to give it to anyone after him.” He said frustration crawling all over him like red hot angry ants.

“So just kill the commander, get the problem at the source”

“Who knows who he’s given that book to before, they could have the words copied, or learned off. Even if I do get out, they will track me down. I won’t be able to be close to anybody because the minute they do track me down, which they will, they can turn me into a bloodthirsty killing monster with no conscience!”

Wade must’ve gotten at that point, probably everyone in the village got it at that point but Peter kept going.

“I could kill anyone and everyone, I could kill any sort of friend or family I make without blinking an eye, I could kill you Wade” he said, his face crumpling as he talked.

“I can’t put people in danger like that, I won’t”

Wades not a touchy feely kinda guy. If he needs to thank someone he will give them a ‘crisp high five’ (high ten if he’s feeling generous). He kills like it’s nothing. He jokes about trauma like a professional comedian. He pushes and pushes until people stop pushing back. That’s exactly why he didn’t expect Wade to ruffle his hair and pull him into his chest. “We’ll find a way out of this kid, I promise” he says sincerely.

Peter wants to believe him, he really does.

But too many promises have been broken in the past.

Chapter Text

Coming back to base in Canada was a blur. Which was odd for him because normally he was annoyingly observant of every minuscule- and normally, irrelevant- detail. He blamed the monstrosity of a headache that was pounding right between his eyes that was not only constant throughout the whole journey but seemed to be increasing in ferocity as it progressed.

Which was not ideal, for a number of obvious reasons however one in particular that was relevant to Peter. He needed to think. He needed to think logically and rationally about the future without his head screaming at him to take a nap. On the journey back to base (Peter was pleasantly surprised to find Stryker didn't find a way to get them to walk all the way from Nigeria to Canada) he had created a few plans despite the splitting headache, however ultimately, they all came to the same basic steps.

-get rid of tracker.

-grab Wade.

-run for his fucking life.

All factors of the plan were near impossible (Wade didn't like being cooperative). He decided to bench all those plans in favour of doing absolutely nothing until he gets desperate enough to risk his life.

Peter doesn't think he will last long. The carefree air and friendly chats between the team seemed to have left with Logan and left an awkward sadness in its place. 

Victor was the only one not participating in the depression in favour of being absolutely livid. 

It was a little bit scary, and that's saying a lot because Peter doesn't get scared much anymore. The guy seemed to burn holes into anything he looked at with his intense death glare and managed even to get Fred, the biggest guy in there, to back into the corner like a coward when Victor had growled at him to move so he could get his protein slop first.

Protein Slop. That's another thing that makes this whole thing utter bullshit. It comes surprisingly (unsurprisingly, if you have tried it) high up on the list on 'why Peter should get the fuck out of here and never return' list. Wade is convinced it's just protein powder mixed with egg yolks, left to rot for a century in a bowl. Peter doesn't think he's too far off at all.

Peter pokes at the grey protein slop with a plastic spoon, unashamed grimace plastered on his face. Genuinely, he didn't think the 'food' they gave him at Hydra could get worse. He was proved oh so terribly wrong. The nicest things he's had since he was four years old was the dry rabbit meat they got while camping between missions. What he would do to taste the beautiful artificial taste of a Twinkie once more. 

He's about to suck it up and eat a piece of protein slop that isn't as lumpy as the rest- though still lumpy- when Wade butts in. Pun fully intended because the man practically reversed into him butt first.

"Watch where you're reversing up man!" Peter called outraged as he pushed the man and held the bowl of slop protectively as if he hadn't been mentally abusing it only a few seconds ago.

Wade sits on the bed uninvited. Peter winced as the unholy creak of the old bed attacked his enhanced hearing.

"You gonna eat that" he said, pointing to the slop and eyeing it like it was the most appealing thing in the world.

"Now I know you're fully crazy, no sane person can like this crap" Peter said and shoved the bowl towards the man. Peter didn't want to get all bulky anyway, he liked being underestimated, it gave him the upper hand.

Wade shrugged, then like the absolute animal he is started talking with his mouth full. Peter backed away frantically. The only thing worse then protein slop is protein slop half eaten by Wilson "You should really eat so you don't like starve" he said with an air of wisdom.

"Okay give it back"

"No!" Wade said and held it close to his chest like a baby.

"Yeah, okay, that's what I thought"

Peter went back to thinking of plans.

"Are you a robot?" Wades asked out of the blue, he actually swallowed before he talked this time though he still chewed very noisily which admittedly was kind of impressive considering the slop is more liquid then solid. Still, Peter wondered if they offer etiquette classes to special forces.

"Yes" Peter said without paying the man much mind.

"Cool that makes sense" a beat of silence "can you shoot lasers out of your eyes?"

Peter stared at him intently "I wish I did right now"

"Well that's illogical" he said matter of factly. 

"Not being able to shoot lasers out of my eyes is illogical?" Peter said absentmindedly. Talking to Wade took so little brain cells that he didn't really need to focus on it.

"You must shoot lasers out of your eyes because you're a robot and you must be a robot because you're so, so, so emotionally constipated" Wade explained with very unnecessary enthusiastic hand gestures that Peter had to dodge. They should make dodging Wade’s unpredictable hand gestures an Olympic sport because even his spider sense was having trouble keeping up.

Sometimes it took two braincells to talk to Wilson, sometimes it takes trillions. Wilson's idiocy must be rubbing off on him, because that last thought made no sense. You don’t even have a trillion brain cells and really that’s not what they’re for and gah- this doesn’t matter. Peter blamed it on his brain being on overdrive right now. He also blamed it on the base only supplying them with coffee that tasted like dirt. There is only so many packets of sugar he can put in this cheap ass coffee. Like they’re fighting for their country here. They at least deserve some damn respect. Even though they’re only really undercover as good guys and are really just the colonels killing team and the closest he’s looked to a soldier is when it gets cold so he wears the army jacket they gave him but the coffee guys don’t know that! He was getting lost in his own head again, what was Wade saying? Laser shooting robots who are constipated?

"I'm lost" Peter confessed after a minute of trying to understand the man’s logic. Peter believes that no one understands his logic, even himself.

"Your whole life got flipped upside down-except it's like when I try and flip a pancake and it collapses in on itself. Like a double blamy" he says, Wade speaks in much too much analogies, references and general gibberish for him to understand most of the time.

Sometimes Peter wondered if Wade was the child and he was the adult.

"...Double blamy?" Peter asked slowly as his mind tried to process Wade. He was bilingual at four, he understood high-school level maths at five and reading incomprehensible science journals for most people who don't have at least one PhD at six. He succeeded in passing any expectation was put on him, yet for the life of him he could not understand Wade Wilson.

Wade sighed as if Peter was the slow one and took another munch of the sloppy monstrosity happily. 

"I cried once when I was watching a recorded episode of golden girls because it was recorded during Christmas and the commercials made me miss Christmas"

"I- what?"

"One time when I was six I punched a kid then cried when I realised he had a gerbil in his pocket that got smushed because the kid really liked McDonald's so really I was saving him from himself when I stole his lunch money and one time-"

"A gerbil in his pocket? Wait no that doesn't matter, Wade what's happening?"

"And every single time I cry at sad dog movies because that golden retriever had a connection with Owen Wilson god damn it!" He said, Peter was scared he was going to cry again just thinking about it.

"Are you on drugs- you stole the coke from the drug lord in Paraguay didn't you?" Peter asks and stands up because Wade really wasn't getting his point. "Why are you telling me all your dirty little secrets I don't care-

"You think those are dirty secrets whoo boy you don't know the half of it"

Peter in fact did know the half of it because Wade had bought him a touch screen, downloaded an app called instagram and added himself (unless he added someone else called whore4chimichangas). Peter was honestly surprised his posts haven't been taken down. Lots of blood. Lots of other things Peter never wants to think about again.

"Anyway- the point is, I'm this hardcore badass super cool dude and those are all the times I cried. So why aren't you crying over something worse that happened you than a gerbil getting squashed by an obese kid even if you are considerably less hardcore and badass?" Wade said. Realisation crashes over Peter. Was this Wade…telling him that he was allowed to be emotional around him? Oh. Oh no this got too real too quick.

Peter stood up and stumbled backwards a little when he crashed into the bed "I don't need to cry it's really not that big of a deal. Anyways how come you can kill people in gruesome ways that make even  me want to turn away but cry at animal cruelty?" Peter asked, changing the subject quickly before he could allow his brain to process his emotions and instead placed an unbreakable metaphorical mask on like the stable guy he was.

"Marley didn't deserve to die Pete! He wasn’t the worlds worst dog he was- hey hey hey! You're changing the topic you deceiving little bastard" Wade realised halfway through his love confession for whoever Marley was. A dog? Probably knowing Wade, he gets attached quickly so normally he kills people before they get close. Solid system, if it wasn’t illegal and everything Peter’s been fighting against.

"I just don't wanna talk about it Wilson!" Peter said seriously and sent him a glare hoping Wade would get it.

"Don't you 'Wilson' me!" He said. Wade did not get it.

"You're the one that told me that life is an endless series of trainwrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness" Peter said, making sure to mock the last part in a high pitched tone. Yeah, he was mature like that.

"I'm already too far gone but you're still saveable, sure you would need a boat load of therapy neither of us could afford but it's doable!" Wade said like he knew he was right. Or that he thought he was right. 

"My therapist would need therapy after listening to me" Peter said like he knew he was right. Because he was right.

"Look on the bright side! Not only are your parents dead but you were kidnapped and brainwashed!" He said with bright eyes, almost able to make Peter believe that his trauma was good because he was so optimistic.

"I'm pretty sure that's a dark side" Peter deadpanned.

"No no- you're comic book gold! If you became a villain it would be totally justifiable" Wade explained earnestly.

"Wade we are the villain that's the fucking predicament that you told me I could cry on your shoulder about!" Peter said. This felt like a fight. Or at least Peter chewing Wade out by proving how wrong he was in every way while Wade stood constantly content.

“We’re more anti-heroes but whatever” he grumbled "And anyway a real man embraces his emotions" Wade said knowledgeably. 

Peter makes an incredibly frustrated sound in the back of his throat that he only had half a mind to be embarrassed about because the rest of his brain was focussed on not blowing a fuse and ripping his hair out. Wade just stood with a shit eating grin on his face while Peter contemplated punching it off his face. Rationally, he knew he wasn't reacting normally to such a conversation but he was at the end of his rope right now and Wade was standing above him with a pair of scissors threatening to cut it while he talked shit.

He took a deep breath and calmed his facial expression so he didn’t look like a feral dog waiting to pounce (that was Victor and Logan’s shtick). He levelled Wade with an indifferent look and spoke calmly “I do not need emotions Wade”

“That’s what people that only have shitty emotions say” Wade said and let himself fall backwards onto the bed dramatically. Peter had his 6th sense to thank for rushing forward to catch the half finished bowl of protein slop before it spilled because of the abrupt motion, and its glue like substance got onto his scratchy bed sheets and ruined his bed. He shot Wade a glare that he didn’t even acknowledge.

“Emotions are simply an inconvenience, they get in the way like you are doing now. A plan isn’t going to formulate its self” Peter said with an eye roll.

Wade scrunched up his face “you speak like him”

“Who?“

“The colonel”

Peter froze. Why did that sting?

Only Wade Wilson can crack a facade that took a decade to form.

Peter held back a groan that he knew would make him sound like a moody teenager and turned his back to Wade. He stood up on his bed, pulled away the cover of the vent and hoisted himself up.

“What are you doing Spidey we were having a conversation!!” Wade exclaimed and stood up.

“Conversation over”

“But I can’t fit up there I’m too buff” Wade complained while flexing his muscles and looking at them adoringly. Peter was convinced he only wore that sleeveless vest so he could check himself out all day.

Peter rolled his eyes and gave him a sarcastic wave from where he squashed himself into the vent. James had always said it made him look freaky when he did that at Hydra and called him a demon child. Why did Peter miss that? God he was messed up.

“Oh No! whatever shall we do?!” 

What better defence mechanism exists than sarcasm?

The cool metal does wonders for his headache. 

An Advil could do better though.

Sure putting your forehead against cold metal in a ventilation system to yield a headache that started because someone’s blackmailing you with the threat of indoctrination isn’t exactly a normal event in every other fourteen year olds life but when has normal ever been an option?

However with a clear mind came the crushing feelings that are now also clear. Feelings are gross.

It’s like this suffocating pain in his chest that makes it hard for him to breathe or function just settles there every-time he thinks of the future or the past, or the present. So basically every-time he thinks. He hates how his eyes itch with tears as he thinks he will never see James again. Or how his breath catches in his throat at how his life is destined to be dreadful. Or how he struggles to catch breathes as he realised he isn’t a good person. He can’t even live his life and think after, sure I was miserable but at least I made some good difference. Nope he was just a weirdo arachnid assassin hiding out in the vents like a real spider.

Wade would call him a self pitying Debby downer right now, which was true but this was his own head, Wade he can be miserable if he wants.

Then he realised he couldn’t breathe. Or at least the breathing didn’t seem to matter. It was hard to explain. He kept on catching the breathes but all it did was hurt more and more as he struggled to get more in to try and fix this. His heart was pounding out of his chest like it does in a battle. Was he going to die like this in a stupid vent just because he couldn’t breathe like a normal person? Wow, he couldn’t even breathe like a normal person.

But the only thing coming to mind was the thought that he was going to die up here. He was going to die without seeing James again. He was going to die and leave it on bad terms with Wade. He was going to die a coward. These thoughts racing around his head like a hurricane only succeeded in forcing his heart to beat faster and his breathes to become more frantic.

His mind briefly recognised footsteps beneath him. Something like instinct made him hold his breath which is probably what he didn’t need. Somehow it gave him a moment to think though. He scrunched up his eyes and just focussed on the footsteps and tried to even his breathing. In and out. In and out. That’s how normal people breath right? Inhale and exhale. He did that for what felt like ages until his heart still raced but he didn’t feel like he was dying anymore.

As he slowly un-scrunched his eyes and looked at his blurry reflection on the silver metal, he felt almost embarrassed. Especially when he had to wipe the tear streaks away with the back of his hand. It felt pathetic somehow. He vowed to himself he wouldn’t think about it again even though his too quick beating heart was a constant reminder.

His paranoia got the better of him somehow. Why did he feel like that? Why couldn’t he breathe? He pulled out the crappy smartphone Wade had got him (and steered clear of instagram). He pulled up Google, he was adapting well to modern day stuff if he says so himself, and quickly asked Google. When in doubt trust a machine with your problems. Either way he had set up so many walls around this obsolete phone that even the best hacker couldn’t get in. It struck him almost difficult to do so at first, Hydra had only thought him how to hack in, not the opposite.

The glowing LEDs reflecting off the metal almost let the headache return but the answer to his query seemed to force everything in his body to stop.

Anxiety attack.

What? Him? No. That’s just not something to happen to Peter.

He promptly shut off his phone. 

The steps echoing beneath him were long gone so he decided to do some snooping to keep his mind off things. He lowered himself to the ground and landed on the carpeted floor without a sound. The undeserved medals and snobby design were enough for him to recognise it was Stryker’s office. He hadn’t even realised he had crawled towards it in a panic.

A new, very fat file lay proudly on the desk. So many secrets it could contain, you would think Stryker would protect it better. Sure he had guards stationed outside and a thumbprint lock but sometimes you got to think out side the box, or rather, think inside the vents. You never know when a tiny flexible guy might break into your office.

He shook off the left off nausea and dread that came to him in the vents and immersed himself in the different documents while keeping an ear and a spider sense out for oncoming visitors.

Whatever he was expecting was not this. His heart stuttered for what felt like the millionth time today and he forced himself not to panic because that was a waste of time right now. He flicked through the pages and felt a ball of dread form in his stomach. It was gross, inhumane, and so brutal.

Peter had seen a lot of fucked up shit in his life but this made him want to curl in on himself. The diagram of the plan was all to descriptive.

It seemed that it wasn’t just the commander working on making the perfect soldier.

He took quick pictures before flicking to the next page of the file. The others might want to see this. 

He covered his mouth before it let out a gasp as he flicked over the page and saw Wade grinning back up to him. His whole file was there, his birth place, his age, his parents. The whole shebang. The nausea found a way back into his body.

All this was planned for Wade? They were planning on doing this to him? Peter had never really felt that protective in his life before but this made him want to use every single one of his wide variety of knives on Stryker. Either his morals were wavering or this deserved it. He rathers the latter.

Peter slammed the case file shut and scampered through the vents as fast as he could while also being silent.

He landed on the bed softly and sprinted over to where Wade was half asleep.

He shook his shoulder roughly.

“Wade Wade, c’mon man we gotta leave” he said frantically and shoved the phone in his face.

“Pete? What’da hell” he said groggily then squinted at the screen. He took a second to examine it “what the fuck is that?”

“I’ll explain it later Wade we have to leave now” Peter said seriously and he hoped for once Wade listened. 

“I thought you couldn’t-“ he struggled with furrowed eyebrows and a confused expression.

“Now!”

Chapter Text

The base was situated on a very tall hill, a metal barbed wire fence circled around the bottom of the hill. Guards were stationed all around the hill and there were two entrances (or exits if you were lucky enough) at either side, further guarded by a group of guards.

Taking down the guards within the facility was a piece of cake. Peter assumed taking down these would be the same, preventing them from alerting someone though, that was a bit harder.

"Stay low" Peter whispered to Wade, the hill was steep allowing them to slide down it fairly easily while keeping quite, out of sight, and quick.

"They make knee pads. They make elbow pads. Why don't they make butt pads?" he muttered in a loud whisper that Peter hoped no one heard. Wades butt being the reason their escape wasn't successful was his worst nightmare. 

He appeared not to be a fan of sliding down the hill like Peter because, well, for a big guy loaded with weapons he was a complete wimp. Peter heard him exclaim "Owie!" once when he removed a bandage.

Peter didn't deem the remark with a response and focussed on switching his position to behind and old oak tree at the bottom of the hill. Wade stumbled behind a shrub near by and Peter rolled his eyes. The guy didn't have a subtle bone in his body.

He made a few incomprehensible hand gestures towards Peter, nodded, then rolled away. Peter blinked in confusion. Wade had the ability to run into shit, katanas blazing, and coming out unscratched no matter what. Peter didn't have the same luck. Working with him was an absolute pain in the arse. He saw a blur of movements and yells in the small building by the exit where the guards were stationed. Other guards must have noticed too because they made their way over cautiously.

Cover his back? Was that what Wade was saying? 

Probably.

Peter, unlike Wade, was stealthy. The cover of darkness was also a plus. He pulled himself up the tree quickly with a web, two guards who were advancing towards Wade quickly, were chatting. He should have felt bad about the knife that left his hand quicker then he could think that slotted into the man's forehead like it was butter. Or how the guard next to him took a step back and instead of defending himself just looked sad. 

Yet they worked for Hydra. He had had a swastika tattooed behind his right ear and was talking badly to his friend in great detail about the women he took home last night. Peter wasn't a judge but he was pretty sure the guy wasn’t exactly good, so he didn’t let himself feel too bad. Besides he was covering Wades back like he asked (or signed? Maybe?). He let the other guy off with a conked head by attaching a web to him and lifting him so he got knocked out by the tree branch. He webbed the knife from the man's head because that was his favourite and continued knocking out guards that came close until Wade waved at him from behind an open gate with a lot of blood on his shirt.

"So did you do what I told ya?" He asked, referring to the hand signals.

"And that was?" 

“Staying hidden” he said like it was obvious, with a confused face. 

“Oh er- yeah” Peter said awkwardly and shoved his bloody knife behind his back guilty, but before he could dwell on it he was instantly distracted by the jeep parked outside. Stryker's jeep. A grin spread on his face and he turned to Wade who had the same expression of glee.

"Dibs driving!"

Only after he said it did he realise how much he sounded like Wade. He ignored it, however, as he started to hot-wire the car. He could totally be a great car thief if he wanted to.

"No way you're like twelve!" Wade complained "can you even drive?" He said with a pout.

"Of course I can" he said with an eye roll. Even though he very much could not. "Besides I don't want to loose my knives, you have a gun incase someone comes I need you out back"

Peter rubbed the two wires together and the engine revved into action.

"Guns will be no use if ya can't drive straight" he grumbled but hopped into the back.

"C'mon don't be a baby, we have till sunrise until Stryker realises all his guards are dead and his two favourite experiments have run off" Peter said and tried to figure out how the fuck you drive stick. He pulled up the hand-break, shifted the gear stick into first, pressed down on the gas and hoped for the best.

"His guards aren't all dead they ran away when the saw me inside. You probably would have been fine even if I didn't tell you to stay put" Wade said proudly.

Peter just let him have his moment. Besides he was too focused on learning to drive without letting Wade realised he very much couldn’t.

Peter hoped to god he was doing it right and shifted the stick into third. This is how you drive right? Peter's read books and can steal and drive an automatic or a bike (not well) if worse comes to worse but these gears were freaking him out. Plus normally if he had to steal a car in a quick getaway it was already rolling so he had to just hop in and press on the gas. Now he was wondering if all that checking the mirrors crap was important.

He swerved past a tree and heard Wade stumble in the back "You sure you know how to drive?" He said sceptically. Either way he wouldn’t trust Wade driving, the guy can’t even walk straight. 

"Mhm" Peter lied as he flexed his fingers on the driving wheel. Why did he think he could do this? 

"Oh shit" he said under his breathe.

"What?"

"Car on your right, don't think they see us" Peter said as he noticed the car, the same as they were driving now. It was headed towards the base but was destined to see them once they bypass the hill.

"Well if they don't see us now they will soon, keep it steady will you?" He said and positioned the gun so he could look through the scope comfortably.

Peter swerved right when Wade pulled the trigger.

Whoops.

"What the fuck Pete!"

"There was a fox on the road I was gonna hit him" Peter justifies, he didn’t feel even a little bit bad after he saw the little ginger blur scuttle off.

"I was trying kill someone!" Wade grumbles loudly.

"I was trying not to kill someone!" Peter countered.

"…”

“Was it cute?” He said begrudgingly after a silent moment.

“Adorable” Peter said happily.

He snapped back into focus when he saw one of the soldiers in the other car look around curiously in the rear view mirror.

"Just get em before they call back to base, hurry they probably heard the gun shot" Peter said and tried to keep the vehicle as steady as he could on the dirt road. He would have no chance being able to drive this on an actual road with other cars, it would completely overwhelm him.

He heard a gun shot from behind and saw Wade quickly reload fluidly. The other car starts swerving without the driver. "One down two to go" Wade said sounding smug. 

He takes another shot, but the car moves and all he succeeds in doing is getting the door.

"Shit c'mon Wade! We don't want Stryker on us already" Peter urges.

"I'm trying! Ugh why can’t they just die willingly!" He says and reloads forcefully.

Another shot and blood splashing on the window tells them Wade was successful in the third shot.

"They’re coming round front Pete! turn us around" Wade said quickly.

"I know! I know! I see em" Peter said, panicked as he tried to spin the wheel around.

The car swerved into view before Peter could fully turn and before he knew it he saw the guy that had stepped in for his dying colleague at the wheel, look him in the eye. He also saw his eyes widen and his hand reach for the radio to call back.

Peter shot a web at his hand before he could call back and saw terror strike in his eyes. He swiftly took another knife from his belt and watched it soar through the air. The years of training he was forced to attend acted as instinct and he didn’t have to look to see it landed where he wanted it too. He shot a web at the knife and yanked it back towards him, caught it and put it back on his belt.

Peter focussed back on the poor excuse of a road again(so many potholes, it was making his stomach churn over every bump. Or maybe it was the blood) and barely managed not to crash the jeep into a tree (it did clip the mirror though).

“Hey Wade, wanna take the wheel?” He asked nervously.

He got no answer so he looked back at Wade to see him in shock.

“Wade?”

“Pete, Pedro, Petey-Pie-“ 

“Ew don’t call me that” Peter said as he wrinkled his nose. He will never get used to Wade’s nicknames.

“Baby boy-“

“Okay you are definitely not calling me that-“ Peter said forcefully.

“I thought you were some wholesome little cupcake who didn’t kill!” He said outraged like he saw hello kitty pull out an AK-47 on his grandma. Yes, Wade told him about hello kitty. He also gave Peter a hello kitty digital watch he got from god knows where and forced it around Peter’s wrist. Peter wore it but was not happy about it and constantly kept it covered by a sleeve.

“I don’t kill innocents- Wade I thought you knew that” Peter said exasperated as he felt his cheeks burn. But he focussed his eyes on the road.

“Oh my god that was like seeing a tellytubby shiv an infant” Wade said aghast and put a hand to his forehead like he was about to faint. Ever the dramatic, Wilson was.

Slightly different phrasing but, hey, close enough.

Wade also taught him about tellytubbies.

It was an interesting conversation.

Peter thought they were multicoloured alien murders at first by the way Wade described it.

“Wade. I would not be able to count how many times I saw you behead someone on both my hands, don’t hate on me for it- NOW WILL YOU PLEASE TAKE THE WHEEL MAN IM FREAKING OUT” Peter said in a rare occasion of loosing his cool, he did not want to die by car crash. He wanted to die by making a heroic sacrifice that saved humanity, even though he knows he will probably go down in a fire trying to help a dog out or something. One thing for certain though, he will not die in this stupid jeep.

“Alright alright snookums! Calm your tits I thought you knew how to drive?” He said and wriggled into the front seat very awkwardly- he would rather not have Wades ass that close to his face- and swapped out with Peter.

“I lied.” Peter said, not even a smidgen shameful

“Yeah I kinda suspected that the second time we swerved off the road. Then it solidified the tenth time” Wade said with a grin as he flexed his hand on the wheel as the other moves through the gears without him having to look, like a pro. Or at least like someone who could actually drive. Peter rolled his eyes, what a show off.

The man started singing something along the lines of ‘the hates gonna hate hate hate’ and ‘shake it off, shake it off’. He was a terrible singer.

“Shut up douchebag-“ Wade made an offended noise- “hey, do you think Google maps works out here?” Peter said curiously and completely out of the blue. He had no idea where he was for once and he didn’t like it.

“Oh my god you’re evolving!!! Eek! If I wasn’t driving right now I would totally pinch your chubby lil’ cheeks like a proud auntie- you know what fuck it- come here baby boy” he said and reached over to Peter with threatening pinching hands. Peter batted him away horrified, he did not have chubby cheeks.

“Eyes on the road Wilson! Besides I’m simply utilising what we have, seeing as we don’t have a map- and stop calling me that” Peter said when he finally pushed off a doting Wade.

“You are like a proper teenager now- well you were always grumpy and sassy- but now you are addicted to the phone I got you! This is so exciting! Is this why people have children? I wouldn’t know I was a mistake but ooh goodie-“

“I am not addicted to my phone!” Peter interrupted defensively.

“Oh yeah? Let me check your screen time?” Wade said knowingly with a stupid smirk on his face.

“I have nothing to prove to you” Peter said with his nose in the air and kept the old phone tightly in his grasp. He did not need Wade to tease him about how long he spent on angry birds every day.

“Ha!”

Peter was about to roll his eyes at Wade, again when he noticed something below them.

“Hey Wade the sea is down there!” He said excitedly.

“God I forgot you were literally living under a rock your whole life. have you never seen the sea?”

“No idiot- the sea! Boats! A quick way out of here!” Peter explained while shaking Wades shoulder. “It’s best we get as far away as possible until I figure out what to do with this” he said pointing to where the tracker is.

“Can’t you just slice it out like they did in hunger games?” Wade asked.

“Hunger games?”

“You have so much to learn” Wade said earnestly, and a little bit sympathetically.

“But no- it’s like floating around in my blood stream in the radial vein and- look I just don’t want to bleed out if there is another option” Peter explained, terribly. Wade was giving him this look. Which he knew just meant get it over with and hope for the best but it was easy for him to say. Wade, no matter what he went through, just seemed invincible. Nothing hurt him. Peter however had the worst case of luck possible. Seriously who the fuck gets kidnapped by a nazi organisation? Like 1 in a 100 million? 

They reached the shore and the only boat leaving was a Ferry that he had no idea where it was going.

“They aren’t just going to let us on without tickets” Wade said.

Peter pulled one of Wades hoodies out of the backpack to cover his weapons and to make him look small because Wade was a fucking 6ft something giant and therefore it swamped him. 

“I know” Peter replied and shot Wade a wink as he walked up to the boarding bridge.

He bit the inside of his cheek to bring tears to his eyes then rubbed them to make them red and puffy.

“Mama!” He said in the most childish voice he could, not too hard for a 14 year old. Besides, Wade always told him he looked 10. Time to use it to his advantage. He looked back to see Wades opened mouth in shock then barrelled through the crowd until he was stopped. 

The ticket inspector stopped him and held out a hand “ticket please” without even looking at him.

Peter put on a confused face as if he didn’t understand him. “Meine Mama!” He cried and pointed up the bridge to where more people were boarding.

“I can’t let you on without a ticket and a parent” he said, finally looking down at Peter sympathetically.

“Nein, nein meine Mama- hilfe bitte!” He said and made his eyes extra watery. “Sie ist er- up! Up there vith meine fahrkarte- nein -er- my ticket! Ja my ticket” he whined with fake bad English with a German accent. Pretending he could only string some loose English words together.

The man looked at him sceptically.

Peter widened his watering eyes and pushed out his bottom lip.

“Oh alright” the inspector said and let him through “find your Mama okay, kid?”

“Thank you, mein Herr” he said gratefully with big eyes and scampered through the crowd quickly, a small smile playing on his face.

He quickly wiped the fake tears away as he was walking up the bridge he turned back and gave Wade a huge smile. Wade made a gesture to him as if to say ‘what will I do?’ . Peter shrugged in response.

Wade always found a way.

Peter rushed to the lower, out of bounds decks to avoid suspicion from any workers and settled between some boxes to wait for Wade. This would probably be where he would look for Peter first. The boat would be leaving soon yet Peter wasn’t all that worried, Wade would find him.

It felt eerily like his trip here when the waves were harsh and his injuries fresh. Today was a rare, calm day (night? Dawn? It was that awkward in between  that only made Peter more time conscious) however and the boat rocked ever so slightly in the waves and the sun that had barely peeked over the horizon was leaving a soft gold glow over the port while giving the water a pretty shimmer.

Peter became a small bit scared when the ferry started rumbling to a start and there was no sign of Wade.

It didn’t take long however for him to show up, right when the boat started moving he heard a knock on the circled window and saw Wade dangling outside it.

His eyes widened and he rushed to open it. It took some quick lock picking skills with his knife to get it open and Wade squirmed through ungracefully and fell to the floor. He let out a huge sigh “I need to exercise more” he muttered to the ground.

“That was your best idea? Latch onto the side of a boat and hope I could let you in?” Peter said, unimpressed.

“I tried the whimpering German child shtick too, they didn’t find it as amusing” he said dryly.

“Maybe it’s because you’re a grown ass man who looks like a mercenary” Peter remarked with raised eyebrows. Getting called adorable by random strangers on the street while he was literally in missions for Hydra totally made it worth it when he could get away with shit like this. Though clinging onto the side of the boat would have been easy for Peter and his spider powers too. He was a versatile guy.

“Well someone stole my hoodie” Wade  complained, the vest and weapons didn’t make him all that friendly. Peter just laughed in his face.

Peter went for the backpack on Wades shoulder “got any food in there?” 

“Ah ah ah!” Wade said and pulled back the backpack from Peter’s reach “tell me what’s happening first, I like to be informed thank you very much”

Peter faltered, he looked around carefully “are you sure this is the best place, it’s very sensitive information” he said hesitantly, thinking back to it made him feel queasy.

“Who would be listening in? We are in the bottom of a ferry. Cmon kid spill the beans” he whined pleadingly.

“Fine okay just be quite” he shushed, then pulled up the pictures he had snapped and handed the phone to Wade.

“What the? Peter what the fuck is this” he said and swiped through the pictures frantically “who’s this for”

“It’s seems like their planning on making a new super soldier, welcome to the club Wade” Peter said meekly.

“This- this was planned for me?” He said.

“Yeah, turns out all those criminals we have been taking in were mutants, they were going to transfer their powers to you” Peter explained, feeling the guilt deep in his stomach. “Once we get out of this mess, we have to go help them. This was our doing” 

“Peter…” Wade said.

“Wade? What is it?” Peter said looking over his shoulder.

“This diagram… it has no hair. They were going to cut off my luscious locks! He said dramatically, and completely insensitive. Though that was just Wade in general, dramatic and insensitive. Plus, Wade only had a slightly grown out buzz cut.

“Oh my god Wade seriously” Peter said smacking him on the arm. “That’s what you are upset about?”

“Oh they got rid of my mouth too! Stryker did always say I would be a better soldier if I kept my trap shut- didn’t think he would take it to this extent” he said with a light giggle.

Peter just stared at him astonished.

“Oh cool they were going to give me laser eyes, like superman!” He said excitedly.

“Those ‘laser eyes’ would have been taken from the high school kid me and you took in a few months ago from Alaska. Scott summers, remember him? They have him now Wade and it’s our fault!” Peter ranted angrily glaring at the man until he saw the point.

“Alright spidey calm down we will figure it out!” He said calmly. 

“How are you so okay with this Wade? Do you see this? They were going to cut you open” Peter hated how his voice cracked, what was all that emotion training for if it all went to waste like this at important times? “You wouldn’t be you anymore” he continued “Just some mindless killing experiment, who did anything they asked of you, you would be like-“ 

“You? I would be like you?”

Wade’s brown eyes bore into him as he spoke, Peter could always trust Wade to speak it how it is, but jeez man.

Peter’s heart sank and he ducked his head. “You don’t know what’s it’s like Wade. To have no control over what you do and not being able to remember it except in nightmares. It’s…it’s horrible” he said chancing a look up at Wade.

“But it’s fine Peter, it’s not going to happen to me I’m safe now” he said, wrapping an arm over Peter’s shoulder reassuringly. Look at that, Wade Wilson being reassuring, who would’ve thought?

“You aren’t safe with me. I’m a ticking time bomb Wade. Stryker isn’t going to let me go that easily. You…you should go once we got off this boat. Far away. Far away from me” Peter said earnestly. 

“If you think I’m leaving you out of my sight baby boy, then you have gone bat shit crazy”

Peter could only chuckle wetly at the nickname instead of complaining.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Just a disclaimer, only one person who I’ve let get close to me is alive and he had some pretty shit things happen to him. I’m pretty much a curse” Peter said, twiddling with the dog tags around his chest at the thought.

“Eh, I’m already fucked up” Wade said dismissively.

“I don’t want to lose you too, Wade” he said in a last ditch effort.

“Good thing I’m terrible at hide and go seek”

Chapter Text

Wade strutted out of the out of bounds zone like he owned the place while telling Peter if you looked confident enough no one will stop you. 

Apparently that rule doesn't apply when you ram into one of the workers while you're in a place you're not meant to be.

"Hey! what are you doing down here?" The man said, drawing his bushy eyebrows together and pointing a finger accusingly at them. He wore a standard uniform and had a buzz cut so short he was almost completely bald.

"Uh sorry- we got lost" Peter said with an innocent smile and tried to drag Wade with him. Wade wasn't the type to allow himself to be dragged so he wiggled free pretty quick, only succeeding in making them look more suspicious.

"Pretty hard to wander past all the stay out signs" the guy said, with his hands on his hips and an unbelieving look on his face.

Wade reached for his holster and Peter quickly batted his hand away and ignored how Wade yelped and shot him a sulky glare. He was such a baby. 

"Ah well you know how they get in their old age" Peter said and patted Wades arm calmly "always wandering off" he said with a sweet smile and chuckled awkwardly.

"Excuse you-" Wade said aghast but Peter tightened his grip on his arm and he shut his mouth while glaring at Peter. Peter had no doubt, he was going to go on a full rant about how he didn't look a day over 21 if Peter hadn’t stopped him.

The man's demeanour suddenly changed "is this your dad?" He asked.

Being the offspring of Wade Wilson was his worst nightmare. He swallowed his tongue and nodded. "Yeah" he said then put on a small frown and whispered quietly so Wade couldn't here, except Wade had eagle ears so he heard anyway. "ever since mom left he's been getting worse. You know how it is" he said with a dejected look.

Wade shot him a glare as if to say 'why can't we just kill him instead'. Peter gave him a very ferocious one handed Chinese burn on his forearm. That made him shut up. For like two seconds until he opened his gob again.

"It's been so hard, just the two of us. Petey pie gets so scared with out his mama, he started wetting the bed again-" Wade said with faux sympathy as Peter stomped on his foot as hard as he could.

The man looked alarmed for a second and Peter shot him an awkward smile. He was going to kill Wade later.

"It's just the two of you?" He repeated with a pitying look that made Peter squirm.

"Yeah and we just managed to save up for a holiday abroad. I really am so sorry about this mix up, sir" Peter said with his polite face on. His only other face was what Wade called 'grumpy cat' and he always insisted on pronouncing the 'R' like a 'W' because he's a dipshit and likes to pretend Peter is a toddler.

"Oh no worries! Have a safe trip" the man said and let them past, looking almost thrilled to see them gone. As Peter walked past the man tapped on his shoulder as Wade continued.

"You okay with him kid?" He said while jerking his head in Wades direction.

Huh, where was this guy when he was abducted by Hydra?

"Oh yeah, he couldn't hurt a fly"

"I hate you. How dare you insinuate I'm old enough to have a child. A teenage one none the less. That's it I'm disowning you." Wade said dramatically as they left the ship and were met with a beautiful village. 

Peter didn't even need to think twice about where they were. There were colourful bikes leaning against each wall, beautiful tulip fields and windmills in the distance. There were even a few goats bleating by the markets. It was so standard Netherlands that it almost felt fake.

"The guy totally believed me too- he did think you looked sketchy though" Peter added on with a sly grin.

"What a snowflake! So what if I have a few guns hanging off me" he said with an eye roll. Then he noticed the villagers looking at him in polite fear and sighed. "I'm not going to kill you guys!" He said and threw both his arms up as if he was being totally reasonable.

"Besides you told him I wet the bed!" Peter complained, only slightly embarrassed to be seen next to Wade. You get used to it.

"Payback Petey, payback" he said and went out to ruffle his hair but Peter grabbed his arm before he could "I will break your finger"

"Aww I love you too" he said, completely unfazed.

Even after Wades announcement on the street that he would be merciful and not kill random people, they didn't look the slightest more reassured but just kept that polite scared smile on their faces. Peter had busted the whole 'Canadians are friendly' myth after he met Wade Wilson and pretty much every other member of team X but he's starting to think the 'Dutch people are nice' one is true.

"Wade c'mon you're embarrassing us" Peter said and tugged at his arm. Okay, he does get embarrassed after a while of staring. He was wrong, you can’t get used to Wade Wilson.

"It's what dads are for remember" he said with serious venom in his voice with a glare to Peter. Peter just cracked up in front of him because Wade trying to be threatening was the least threatening thing ever. At least if you knew him, if you didn’t then he could be pretty scary until he opened his mouth an spurted a load of nonsense.

"You are a bully in a tiny adorable shell" he said angrily and pointed a finger at Peter angrily.

"Yeah yeah whatever, what's the plan?" Peter said with an eye roll, the sun was fully up now and it's only a matter of time before Hydra catch up now. 

"What if we just...127 hours it?" Wade said thoughtfully with raised eyebrows.

"For the last time I don't understand the references!" Peter exclaimed in frustration, Hydra didn't give him a bucket of popcorn and sit him in front of a tv.

"He slices his arm off or something I can't really remember plus cyborg arms are all the rage now Pete" he said knowledgeably, like he follows trends and keeps up with all the new fashion.

Peter thought about it for a brief second and could imagine James teasing him about copying him.

"You're coming no where near me with a knife" he said, he pulled out his lovable trash phone to check the time. 11:45. The soldiers would be on their tails pretty soon. He also had no internet out here so he couldn't Google maps where he was. Wade would probably tease him anyway so he decided to bite the bullet and actually ask someone.

There were tons of stalls around vibrant food. Peter walked up to one with a guy with a greying beard behind it.

He thought for a moment, making sure he didn't blurt out the wrong language before speaking "Neem me niet kwalijk?" (Excuse me?")

The man looked up and smiled so wide his eyes crinkled, Peter was a little taken back by the enthusiasm.

"Ja?" (Yes?") he said politely.

"waar zijn we?" (Where are we?) Peter said. The man tilts his head with a smile. 

"Broek Op Langedijk, natuurlijk!" (Broek Op Langedijk, of course!). He said lifting his hands and nodding his head.

"Great yeah that is a great help thank you" he said, feeling a bit lost, Wade taps his shoulder impatiently.

"Not now Wade the adults are talking" he said putting a hand up.

"Pete look" he said guiding his attention to a tiny square television with one crooked antenna sticking out and grainy footage of some Dutch news channel. It was sitting on one of the stalls but no one was paying it much attention.

"An unknown source exposed both the law enforcement agency known as "S.H.E.I.L.D" and a highly dangerous terrorist organisation knows as "Hydra", who were primarily known for their part in World War 2. While, the dump of data is hard to decipher it has brought the information that Hydra is not gone, yet thriving, to light and not only this, but it appears S.H.I.E.L.D was under the control of Hydra from the start. We will be talking to John to see what he has to say on the matter-"

Peter's brain goes to static. Wade is gaping beside him. The sweet man is smiling wholeheartedly.

"Holy shit" Peter finally said. 

"Fucking hell kid" Wade said "is this good or bad news?"

"They dumped everything? Even my files" Peter said blankly.

"Hell, I'm sorry kid-"

"No Wade this is great oh my god this is perfect!" Peter said. It almost felt like a light bulb went off over his head. He turns to the man who still held his arms out in welcome.

"Is their any where I could access a computer by any chance, like a library or something?" He said before realising he forgot to switch to Dutch.

"I'm afraid not, I have one upstairs you can use, however" he said in English, grinning from ear to ear. 

"Oh- you have good English. That's also very generous wow are you sure?" Peter said as Wade elbowed him to say 'just accept it idiot'

"And you have good Dutch, now come along Maria will be happy to have guests!" He said and ushered them inside like a dotting grandmother inviting them in for tea. Peter does a quick check, surely no one is just this nice? Right? He was suspicious, but he was always suspicious. In the end there only option was going with the nice man so Peter prepared himself incase of a trap and entered the adorable house.

It was humble and cosy, the hew from the sun through the kitchen window glowed on the old wooden dinner table and the checked yellow and blue curtains gave the house a warm, traditional atmosphere. Peter felt his nerves rest and his spider sense turn to just a low rumble.

Before Peter knew it, Wade was already sitting down next to a women at the table, she had two neat braids and was giving Wade tea in a china cup and feeding him small sugar cookies by the dozen. Wade was making good conversation and she was ruffling his hair in return and commenting on how tall he was. Peter blinked at the scene, then shook his head, classic Wade.

"The computer is up stairs" the man said, laying a hand on Peter's shoulder. He decided to leave Wade below stairs with Maria who was now handing him cake and other goods. Peter followed the nice man up the rickety stairs and felt slightly embarrassed on how his sense tingled but just leaving Wades company.

Once upstairs, he pointed gleefully at an old square computer that looked about as old as Wade. Peter shouldn't have expected better. He could work with this, maybe. It might take him longer than anticipated.

"I didn't catch your name?" He said, English tinged with an accent as he pulled over a chair for Peter.

"Uh it's Peter, you?" He said distractedly as he was trying to get the computer up and running.  He hadn't even realised he had given his real name.

"It is Dirk, oh and you must hit it a few times to get it up and running" he said pleasantly and hit the computer as demonstration.

Peter held in a sigh, at least Wade will be well fed by time he's done.

"So, may I ask what you're working on?"

Filtering through a data dump on a decades old terrorist organisation to find information to find a way to deactivate a tracker they placed in my arm so if I ever escaped they could bring me back and have me mercilessly kill for them once again.

"Uh school project" he muttered and focussed on the pixels as his fingers flew across the keyboard, probably quicker than a normal person.

Chapter Text

Wade

Maria was an absolute sweetheart. 

Was this what all the other boys came home to after school instead of an intoxicated and high mother who greeted you with a cigarette burn to your arm? 

No wonder they all ended up pussies. Or maybe it was because Wade gave them all swirlies.

Still Maria made the tastiest sugar cookies known to man.

Wade went up a few times to check on Peter, only to see him completely focussed, staring at the screen and muttering mumbo jumbo under his breath while he did all kinds of smart people shit Wade didn't understand on that dinosaur era computer. Every once in a while he heard Peter make a frustrated sound at how slow it was.

Wade found out the man's name was Dirk and when Wade purposefully said "Hey Dick, my name is Wade" the man didn't even flinch and held out a chubby hand to greet Wade’s. 

What was this country?

The man put on a pleasant smile as Peter cursed and typed, anyone who looked at the screen who wasn't as dense as adamentium could tell it was some highly illegal shit but Dick just told his wife Maria that Peter was doing a school project and she cooed accordingly.

Once again, what was this country?

Wade was almost stuffed full of sugar cookies (who was he kidding, he could've eaten another dozen) when he heard an unnatural screeching sound outside. It didn't sound like one of the live chickens they were selling out there and even Wade was smart enough to know the goats bleating did not sound like that.

He stood up to check the window, placing a hand on his revolver.

He was about to pull back the curtain to check when Maria startled him by putting a gentle hand on his shoulder and holding a plate of cookies up to his nose. Wade almost started floating, following the smell like in those cartoons and followed Maria back to the table.

"Wade?" Peter called from up stairs. His tone was worried, maybe his Peter tingle was tingling.

"Mmmhh mhhhm" Wade said eloquently, with his mouth filled with food. After months of protein slop, sugar cookies were like heaven.

Wade swallowed and turned to Maria to compliment her on her brilliant cooking because, wow.

he let out a disappointed sigh.

Wade went cross eyed trying to look at the pistol pointed at his forehead. "Well fuck Maria, are you taking inspiration from Hansel and Gretal?"

"Keep your mouth shut" she said, honestly, Wade felt a little betrayed, the women was like a mother to him! Now she was pointing a gun to his head, and put a hand on her hip- wow yeah he sees what Dick married her for damn. 

He shook his head, mainly to get the sequence or thoughts out of his head. What sick kinda brain goes from mother to hot Hydra lady, Wilson! Pull it together!

 Wade lifted his arms to show his surrender.

"Turn around" she ordered.

"Yes ma'am, you gonna pat me down?" He said hopefully and waggled his eyebrows. She made a disgusted sound then reached to take his katanas, now that's just too far hot cookie lady! Not the katanas!

He was about to retaliate, or make some dirty joke about the handcuffs she was going to put on him. Really, he's as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of his mouth. He doesn't have chance to do anything because the kid comes out of nowhere and does a fucking James Bond roll, swiping the revolver out of his holster as he did so and shot it once while he was still on one knee.

"Well now she's not going to give me her number" Wade complains and gives Peter a hand up.

"I'm sure there isn't any cell service six feet under anyway" he said, slightly rattled and patted Wades shoulder.

"Maria! You-you killed my wife" Dirk cried from behind them. That man just came out of no where, Wade almost felt bad for the guy.

"You aren't Hydra too?" Peter asked, raising his eyebrows in shock.

The man kneels to the ground taking Maria's face in his hand "oh my beautiful Maria" he sobs.

Wade can see Peter squirming "should we tell him she was a Hydra spy?" Wade whispers to him.

"He's had enough heartbreak, now c'mon" he said and yanked Wade through the door "they're gonna be here any second now-"

Huh so that's what screeched.

Tyre tracks in the road showed the urgent stop the vehicle had made and a dozen armed soldiers pointed guns at them.

"Well shit" Wade said as he unsheathed his katanas.

"Yeah" Peter agreed, placing his fingers on the web shooter trigger.

 Peter 

Peter didn't have a chance to feel bad about Dirk’s tear stricken face as he held his liar Hydra spy wife in his arms because he was almost immediately thrown into battle. 

The soldiers didn't give them a chance to fight back as they shot millions of tranquilliser darts their way. Wade shielded himself by deflecting them all off his swords as Peter used his spider sense to dodge before getting overwhelmed and diving behind a counter.

Peter quickly counted the heartbeats. There were exactly twelve, all were heavily guarded. Only a second later Wade dived behind the stall opposite him and the soldiers started advancing. He had four knives on his belt (the rest in the bag Wade carried) , his web shooters, and one stun grenade that he would rather not use incase he got some of the innocents caught in the crossfire. He was pretty limited.

Wade made some more hand signals and Peter just rolled his eyes, it was a free for all. No Wade Wilson plan could give them the upper ground here. Wade Wilson plans are destined to doom them either way.

Okay, he thought, better make this quick before backup shows up.

He vaulted over the stall and ducked past an onslaught of tranqs. He shot a web at the nearest gun and tugged, spinning it around to briefly knock another guys head. He webbed one guy to the van and shot another web at the guy he hit with the gun's feet and lodged a knife in his chest.  He used his body as a human shield before rolling under the van. 

He shot a web at a guys feet, from under the van where he couldn’t be seen, and yanked so he fell forward and sent a knife to the back of his head that was now in view, before rolling out, dodging another tranq and sending a well aimed knife through one guys neck.

He caught another tranq before it hit his neck and sent it back to its owner like a horrible game of darts then sent another knife at the guy who stood frozen, looking like a fish out of water next to him.

He sensed a guy behind him, caught his punch, twisted until he heard a crack and boosted himself with the momentum. He caught the guys neck between his legs and pulled him to the floor. He learned that one from Yelena.

He felt a dart go so close he felt a breeze and ducked. He looked around to see who had shot it but only managed to see Wade mid combat.

Wade was doing a flip as he shot his gun with admittedly impressive precision. Show off.

Turning back to his own fight, he was caught off guard and was a second too slow to dodge before an arm pinned him to the van. He struggled for a second before realising she must be inhuman, Peter was strong enough to lift the van he was pressed against but the arm pinning him against it could’ve been adamentium by how strong it was.

He raised his wrist but couldn't aim any shots, it would be futile anyway, with a strength like that she would rip it like real spider web.

She looked closely at the web shooter arm before smirking, and crushing it while still on his wrist. Peter let out an embarrassing sound at seeing his favourite possession crushed and reached for a knife only to find an empty belt and grunted in frustration. He would’ve thrown some quippy one liners at her (an annoying habit he must’ve picked up from Wade), if it weren’t for the lack of air.

The women tutted condescendingly as Peter struggled. He squirmed so he was in a position where he could whisper hoarsely. “I see Stryker still has mutants doing his dirty work" Peter hissed from beneath her hold.

She smirked "someone had to take your place, I have to admit it's a lot to live up too" she said smoothly and tightened her grip.

Peter snarled and moved to kick her desperately but she moved out of the way easily

"I heard a lot about you, the commander constantly bragged" she whispered, voice laced delicately with jealous venom. Years of pent up anger glimmered in her dark eyes.

Peter halted his struggle. Not Stryker? The commander.

"You- you are from the red room?" He guessed, inching his hand slowly downwards as he spoke.

"Bingo" she growled. "At first it was all Winter Soldier this and Winter Soldier that" she said eyes ablaze with revenge "of course you did what we were all thinking and killed him the day him and his little group of misfits infiltrated" she said with a shrug.

Peter's heart stopped. He tilted his head and his breathing quickened "W-what?" He said, she must be messing with him. She was trying to get him off guard. But she looked so angry, so vengeful. She fully believed what she was saying. That was the scariest part. "I didn't kill James" 

She raised her eyebrows "I knew you were close but first name bases oh? No wonder the commander took advantage of your relationship to catch the traitor off guard" she said as if it were all fitting together. Meanwhile for Peter it all fell apart.

"I don't know where you got your information lady but it's wrong, James talked me out of it-"

"Oh I know of all that, the walls are surprisingly thin and with abilities like my own-" she said with a smug grin and tightened her grip once more "it's easy to over hear." She whispered, so close to his ear that he could feel her breath blowing the overgrown parts of his hair.

He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the panic rising. She’s just messing with you, he thought, just trying to get inside your head. It was fucking working too, never had he ever been made so vulnerable in combat, even with an inhuman.

"No no, the commander told me to return to base straight after" he said defiantly, "you're crazy lady, you aren't getting in my head" he said and struggled against her grip. He wasn’t even sure why he was explaining himself to her. He knew his words sound desperate, like he was more arguing with himself then with her. What happened to his cool demeanour, the easy mask he built over his emotions, how did it all crumble away with one well worded sentence.

"You think the commander left a powerful asset over an emotionally unstable traitor and didn't tell him to kill. I think you're the crazy one, Spider" she said, hissing his name like snake as she stuck he nails into his skin. Peter turned his head so his cheek pressed into the cool metal of the van, anything to get away from her.

"I don't believe you" Peter said shaking his head stubbornly, they both knew he was lying.

"Yea, you do"

Wade 

Wade was doing some pretty awesome flips and hits if he says so himself. He checks over to Peter once to see him taking someone down with his thighs like a fucking gymnast and snorts as he shoots another dude and slices another's nuts off. Okay maybe that one was a little too far.

So he takes down his six, while Peter takes down his and he shoots the last bullet into the last guy’s head. He inhales the smoke from his gun, because hey it's hard to get cigarettes out here and smoke is smoke, right?

He coughs before heading over to the other side of the van, and sees some chick holding Peter by the neck. Where are Hydra getting all these hot killers? Maybe Wade would go back if...- no, no kid first, hot ladies second. God, when did his priorities change? 

The kid looked horrible. Whatever she was saying to him had him squirming and shaking his head.

"Hey lady!" Wade said pointing his gun at her really nice dark black hair like wow if she wasn't killing his bestie he would so- right, off the point.

She looked back, and tilted her head "that gun is empty" she remarked- and oh shit. He had used the last bullet. He literally snorted the smoke two seconds ago, maybe Peter was right in calling him a moron.

“Huh, you’re right” he said nonchalantly with a shrug.

He reached for his katanas but the kid was already prepared, reaching to a stun grenade on his belt, and slamming it to the ground.

Wade feels the impact immediately, but he was far enough away to not get completely knocked out like Peter and the hottie. He surged through dizzily until he grabbed on to Peter's tiny knocked out body and threw him over his shoulder like the good person he was. He could already hear more vans approaching, so he absolutely legged it through the village.

Peter didn't come to until he was half way to the train station he could see up ahead. The kid groaned as Wade weaved though the streets trying to lose the soldiers on his tail. 

"Shh mm'tryna sleep" he said and put a hand over Wade’s mouth as to stop the heavy breathing.

"You aren't exactly light kid, you try running through these streets with a lump of uselessness on your shoulder" Wade grumbled and let Peter down. He wasn't holding him any longer than necessary. He sighed in relief, being a good person was tiring!

"C'mon, to the train station" Wade said and yanked him by the arm as he stumbled behind him.

"You have a plan for once?" He says sceptically. 

"Yes. Run, now cmon!" He yelled and finally Peter was keeping pace as he shook the dizziness away. Although, as he regained his mind he only seemed to get more tired.

"Something up kid? Y'know besides the obvious?" Wade asked as he gave the kid a boost over the fence.

"Nothing" he mumbled.

That meant something was wrong, but Peter wouldn't say it even if someone would torture it out of him. He was a great secret keeper, not that Wade had any but if he did he would go to Peter.

Peter 

Eventually they reached the station, but Peter's mind wouldn't leave him alone. What if she was right? Surely he would remember right? He didn't remember anything of that day? Only what the commander told him...so she could be telling the truth.

Peter didn't know anymore, he didn't know anything.

He slumped against the trains seats and tilted his head against the window. He saw vans advancing but the train was already taking off. Wade took the liberty to wave tauntingly at them. Peter thought a middle finger would be more appropriate but he didn’t have the energy.

"So did you get what you need?" Wade asked hopefully as he relaxed into the comfy seats.

"Huh?" Peter said as he tried to pull his thoughts away from James. Anything but James. Anything but the thought of the crimson blood on his dagger. He had thought he had only grazed James...but could've it had gone deeper? 

One thing that she said stuck with him, if Hydra had such a chance to kill a traitor, wouldn't they have taken it?

"The tracker? Can it be deactivated or are we going back to the cyborg arms" Wade asked, interrupting his thoughts.

What if he did kill him, he did say he would be back by now. James wasn’t one to break a promise…that had been what killed him. No, no, that’s wasn’t definite yet, Peter didn’t kill James, that would be absurd! But it would make a lot of sense-

"Oh uh yeah, just need a better computer to finish it off" he muttered and showed Wade the hard drive while his thoughts were else where.

He ran a hand through his already disheveled hair. Something in his heart aches at the thought. It was highly possible, he didn't always remember missions, and it's not like Spider would care if Peter had known James...

He rubbed his eyes and sighed, as his other hand twiddled with the dog tags.

"Alright kid, what did she say to you? What happened back there" Wade said, frustrated and determined.

“oh god” he said, suddenly nauseas with fear and worry.

"I- I think I killed my family" 

Chapter Text

A hand was poking persistently at his shoulder, he shrugged and rolled over, mushing his face into the fuzzy fabric that felt old and worn mixed with a vague smell of old spice aftershave and curry. He wrinkled his nose but didn't lift his head, he didn't expect anything fancy with public transport.

He didn't feel like he had the strength to even lift his head despite having held cars above his head with ease in the past.

The poking continued and all he had the energy to do was swat it away like an annoying bug.

Unsurprisingly, it persisted and he finally pulled his face away, feeling very annoyed and groggy, and looked around with half lidded eyes. He could tell the sun was blaring even before he opened his eyes, it was so bright it made the darkness of his eyelids a warm orange that would've been appealing if not for the splitting headache that accompanied the light.

He sighed, something in his chest stung. It didn't feel like an external problem however, more like an underlying sense of dread. It made it hard for him to breathe, his tired brain took a minute to catch up.

Oh god.

A sudden wave of nausea came with the memories and with a new sense of energy, he stood up hastily.

He pushed past whoever was in his path and stumbled in the vague direction of the toilets. Miraculously he reached the grimy train toilet just in time and ignored the shame as he promptly threw up the few sugar cookies Maria the secret hydra spy had given him. He groaned, trying to open his sleep crusted eyes only to slam them shut again by how bright everything was. He slammed his hand on the flusher and groaned at how obnoxiously loud it was. He leaned his head against the cool wall, it was far from sanitary but he couldn't find it in him to care.

"Pete? I think you threw up"

Peter almost laughed at how Wade the statement was, he would've if he didn't think it would upset his already churning stomach. 

"Yeah Wade, me too" he agreed and stumbled to his feet, leaning against Wade for support. He wiped his wet eyes off his hoodie discreetly and blamed it on his sickness. He still felt like shit, but he always felt better once he got up and moving again, besides they were on a tight schedule.

"Come here Petey poo" he cooed in his stupid Wade voice and before Peter could comprehend what was happening he was getting the shit squeezed out of him. His instincts for once didn't send him flying back and he even found himself slumping. He was tired. It's not like anyone was there to judge him anyway. God, imagine what Logan would say if he saw Peter let Wade hug him. So. Much. Teasing.

Wade sighed like he was working up to something.

"Family has always been a bit of an F word to me-"

"Wade, if you continue that sentence, I'm going to throw up all over you" Peter cut in, somewhat desperately, he pulled away from the man and leaned against the wall instead. 

"Oh thank god, I didn't know how to follow that up" he slouched in relief. Peter smiled as best he could.

His mind kept straying else where. He recognised the numb feeling, all though last time he had truly felt it, he also felt a tiny weed of hope. Hope that James would come back, ruffle his hair and call him a little shit. Come back and tell him off for always waking him up at night to ask absurd and very random questions. Come back and tell him stories and stupid dad jokes that always cheered Peter up no matter how horribly unfunny they were. Hope was a funny thing, you didn't even realise it was there until it was gone, then it hurt all over again, but this time it hurt more because you knew nothing could be done to change it.

The train jolted to a stop, Peter had to stick his hand to the wall to stop himself from crashing into Wade.

"C'mon bug boy, let's find you a computer" Wade said and ran off. Peter washed out his mouth with the tap water and just made it out before the train doors closed again.

He forgot all about the hard drive that hung loosely in his pocket, he thought rather guilty, it had seemed such a big hill to overcome but now the whole mission seemed somewhat pointless. Without really realising it, he had built the whole escape plan with the end goal of seeing James again. Now that he was gone...

He flexed his hands, feeling them form white knuckled fists again and again, his pain always seemed to bring anger .The red hot kind that made you want to punch something over and over again until it stopped moving. The only difference this time, was that it was pointed at himself. 

Ever since the woman in the Netherlands had told him what he had done, images started resurfacing. Scuttling through the identical white hallways, fighting the avengers, James trying to reason with him, a knife on James's neck, a bead of blood trailing downwards like a crimson tear-

Wade threw a jovial arm around his shoulders, dragging Peter away from his thoughts, and tilted Peter's head towards his chest. He didn't say anything but he led them behind a large group of business people then quickened his pace to get past the turnstile right after them. It alerted a lot less suspicion from guards then it did when they hopped them when they were being chased by Hydra. 

"Where are we?" Peter asked meekly as they exited the station.

"Qui Qui baguette" 

Peter gaped "What?! How long was I asleep?" He said in shock (not bothering to comment on Wades choice of words) as he watched French pedestrians walk to and fro in the morning sun.

"Eh 9 hours give or take" he said easily.

Peter let out a harsh laugh. Surprising both himself and Wade. 

He couldn't find himself caring all that much, normally he would've screamed his head off at Wade for letting him sleep for so long and losing valuable time but it wasn't really worth it. Besides, he wouldn't mind getting rid of some of the bubbling anger on Hydra soldiers if they did come.

"C'mom Wilson, maybe there is a library or something 'round here" he said, focussing on the mission at hand, maybe that would distract him from the guilt and anger.

It was a pretty big maybe.

Peter stared at the white ceiling lazily. Then tried to crane his neck upwards to get a look at what was happening.

"Peter! Jesus kid, thought you wouldn’t wake up again" Wade said, sounding relieved and collapsed on him in a bear hug that was mildly uncomfortable considering how wrinkled and grubby they both were and the searing pain in his arm.

Peter let his head drop down on the hard floor again. What did he do? And why did his arm- oh...oh.

A few hours earlier...

The city was pretty, if Peter was in his right mind he would've appreciated it. 

The streets were crowded when they reached more central Paris and Peter found himself thinking of the pop up book he used to have, filled with beautiful landmarks that looked near identical to the real things. 

It felt like some cruel irony that he had ended up in France after everything, he wished his parents had made it because he knew his mother would gasp and point at the colourful flowers that lined the streets and his father would comment appraisingly on the gothic architecture. He could only remember very little of his parents, mainly because of Hydra's ‘projects’ and because he had lost them so young.

He also thought James would enjoy it. He always said he missed the bright sunny days. He could imagine him walking beside him, pointing at each building and referencing it to a book (he was a total nerd despite how badass he said he was) and bragging about the time he had made a girl swoon by speaking the little French he had learned from a friend who was serving in France. James would never have the chance to see something like this again. Peter knew it was his fault.

He shook the thoughts from his head, and rolled up the sleeves of Wade’s hoodie, feeling entirely too hot. The small square outline of the tracker seemed to stick out even more on his pale skin that appeared almost translucent in the sun, making his stomach churn once more.

Wade tugged at his arm so he faced the large library. It was huge, Peter thought, he could spend his whole day there, given the chance. It was filled with shelves upon shelves of books, sorted in categories, then alphabetical order. However, his attention went straight to the row of computers at the back.

Wade kept on gasping and pointing at different books, yanking them out and completely disorganising them.

"Hey Pete," he said in a loud whisper. Wade wasn't capable of being quite, apparently, "they have erotica" he said, holding in a laugh like a school kid who had found a dirty magazine.

Peter rolled his eyes and elbowed him "that's an anatomy book" he drawled. Normally Peter would ignore him but after a while you learn to just give Wade a small bit attention to keep him happy.

"Same thing" he said with a shrug.

Peter sighed, wondered how he ended up in a library in Paris with a man child then continued on his mission. He found a computer secluded in a corner that was practically fully separated from the rest of the library.

"You have fun now, while I do all the grunt work" Peter joked, mainly because Wade hovering over his shoulder made him mildly uncomfortable.

Peter could see Wades wicked smile in the reflection of the black loading screen before he left, no doubt to meddle. 

Peter sighed and plugged in the small hard drive. He always liked to keep them on him, since a lot of his missions involved stealing information. It proved useful this time around and now that he has the information from the Hydra dump that seemed like a gift from god, deactivating the tracker was like taking candy from a baby. He easily turned off all the virtual walls the library had put up to prevent him from accessing stuff like this.

He accessed their system and searched through his own files. A wave of deja vu went over him as he flicked through all his mission reports. They were sorted from most recent in descending order, so he had to go through all of them to get to what he was looking for. His stomach lurched, so many missions, so many deaths. All caused by him. 

He searched through quickly, not wanting to spend anymore time on this then necessary. 

The video that loaded on to the screen caused him to stop dead in his tracks. His finger hovering over the right click button as if ready to exit out of it, if it weren’t for the sudden paralysis the video had caused. His eyes locked on the screen and his hand only shook in unease.

The video footage was bad, it kept glitching and the pixels were huge. It was still easy to make out the image. He almost wished he couldn't. He clammed his eyes shut, only succeeding in getting a high quality version supplied by his brain. He hated his brain sometimes. 

The memory replayed in his mind.

"Let's make you your better self" he whispers in Russian, far too close to Peter for his liking.

"красный" the commander says much to gently as Peter squirms and feels a tear drop down his cheek, past his eyelids that are screwed shut. His breathing is laboured and everything hurts.

"самолет" 

Peter tried to calm down and allow it to happen, every time this happens he thinks next time he will just suck it up and kill some body but every time the time comes he ops for the words.

"четыре"

Peter sucks in a breath and forces the memory out of his mind. He slams his finger on the button, he didn't need to see that video. 

He couldn't shake the feeling. He felt gross, and violated. He was used and tortured and blamed over and over again. They took away the only person that made him sane. You took him away from yourself. You killed him. 

He didn't kill him, they did.

Stop making excuses. It was you, you held the knife. You took his life.

"I didn't" he murmured out loud, people would think he was crazy if people were around to see it.

He took a deep breath and stood. This could wait a moment. He headed to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. Maybe it would knock the voice from his head. That voice is you, he thought, you're going bonkers.

He pushed open the heavy door and headed for the sink. He looked at the mirror. His skin was ghostly pale and dark bruises hung on his cheek bone and another sat on his right eye. The bruise was just formulating and yet looked as dark as his eyes. His hair was in a dire need of a cut and a wash, his fringe was getting in the way and the sides and back were overgrown and curling over his ears and down his neck. His brown eyes looked closer to black and stared back at him.

It was your body. You held the knife.

"But it wasn't my mind" he snarled at himself, then took a shameful step back for acting like a lunatic.

He made up his mind then. He never, ever wanted to associate himself with Hydra. He didn't want it in his future, or past. To do that he had to completely dissociate himself from them. He didn't even want a trace of them near him again.

They made him do this. Never again.

The knife was no longer stained with James's blood, but his own. 

It wasn’t the pain that hit him first, it was the relief at seeing that menacing little tracker lie flat on the bathroom floor.

He shut his eyes to take a deep breathe and didn’t open them again.

Present...

"Hey don't drift off on me again there's only so many times a guy can say occupied before it gets weird" Wade said, snapping him back to reality, quite literally as he was snapping his fingers together like an impatient mother.

He looked down at his arm that was bandaged tight enough that it was throbbing. Good, he won't bleed out, yet anyways.

"Want to explain yourself young man?" Wade said, an attempt at humour but it was too overcome by tiredness to be believable.

"I did what they did in the hunger games" he said with a tiny smile. He was too giddy on liberty to care about anything else.

"Poser. Don't make references you don't understand. But seriously don't do that again you scared me”

"I thought the great Wade Winston Wilson didn't get scared" Peter drawled, hoping Wade would just put on facade so Peter didn’t have to face more guilt. Was that selfish? Probably most of the things he did these days were driven by selfishness.

"Yeah well it wasn't a pretty sight" he said with a sigh "if the librarian asks, you really like ketchup, got it?” He said and hoisted Peter to his feet. His eyes were distant and empty, it made Peter’s stomach lurch.

“Got it” he said and ducked his head, a small smile didn’t leave his face. Despite how bad he felt for scaring Wade he just felt so free. It was great, a feeling he had never felt before.

“You got blood on my favourite jumper” Wade sighed once they had limped passed many, many confused people on the street and into a sketchy alley way. Peter realised they were probably the ones making it sketchy.

“Oh sorry” Peter said sarcastically “I was too focussed on not dying” 

“That was you trying not to die?” Wade said “dude I can’t believe you almost died in a public bathroom, that’s so unbad ass”

“I can’t believe I didn’t die” Peter confessed, leaning against the wall that was prettily painted a soft orange.

“Yeah, healing factor of yours works wonders kid, wish you could’ve made that decision before we traveled across half the country” Wade said, even though they both knew it wasn’t the healing factor that saved him but Wade.

Peter only hummed in reply, adrenaline slowly wearing off and the pain leaking in. The bandage was becoming soaked with blood and he hoped his healing factor would get a move on.

For once Wade didn’t have any stupid comment or immature joke to make and Peter felt a bit bad to be the cause of it, it had seemed like such an impossible thing: to stun Wade Wilson.

They both knew they had to talk about it. They both knew they probably wouldn’t. 

Maybe being too alike in that way is why they got a long, and it was probably the reason they were eventually going to crash and burn.

Thats what happens when you give two guys a bucket load of trauma, a good dollop of dead loved ones, a cup of shitty humour, and a pinch of knowledge on how to deal with your emotions  (maybe less then a pinch). A recipe for disaster.   

Perhaps that was what made Wade so intriguing, you get too close and you get pulled under the wheels for the long ride, and maybe that was a good thing because even though it was reckless and would probably end with guns blazing and fires spreading, he didn’t have any thing too lose. Not anymore. Getting his mind off of thing sounded like a really good idea now. 

At least they would probably go out in a bad ass way with explosions all around them.

The standards aren’t all that high though, as long as it beats bleeding out in public bathroom.

Chapter Text

Peter -not that he would ever say this to the kid’s face- reminded him of a puppy, a brainwashed, violent, highly dangerous puppy, but a puppy nonetheless. Fiercely loyal (to the right people), enthusiastic, protective, and possible a little dumb. Not that Peter was dumb intellectually, geez no the kid was a genius, knew much more then Wade despite the few years Wade had ahead of him (very few, Wade was very young and handsome), Peter probably would be in some fancy science school nerding out with all his dork friends with a great life ahead of him if it wasn't for the absolutely shitty cards he was dealt. 

Peter wasn't even stupid in battle, he always knew what to do, he was quick, agile, strong and had good aim. Not as good as Wade, but those are high standards. 

What did make Peter stupid, was cutting a very delicate Hydra placed tracker out of his arm with a knife with no regard for his actual arm or his general well-being. As we all have discovered, Peter's luck is nothing short of atrocious, so of course after Wade had kicked down the door and seen much too much red he shouldn’t have been surprised because once things start getting good, they always turn around, say fuck you, then get bad again.

And suddenly there fun little trip around Europe turned into a sad dog movie where the dog dies due to immense trauma, brain fuckery, anxiety, PTSD and a bucket load of other shit no one really wants to address. 

Maybe Peter was bat shit crazy or maybe he liked making Wade toss his cookies (quite literally) into a library bathroom.

Either way, Wade was not happy with the unfamiliar worry that crawled on his skin as he was forced to do his best in making sure the kid stayed alive. 

Once he had done the best he could he shoved himself against the wall and watched in horror as Peter took shallow breaths in his unconscious state and hoped he would wake with a yawn and throw an insult at Wade like he did every morning. Except he kept thinking, what if Peter didn't wake up, what would he do? Throw the body in a river and pretend all of this was a bad dream, or an insanely weird acid trip? He didn't like to admit it, but he cared for the kid, which doesn't seem that big of a deal for him. He cares for many things! He cares for pizza, chimichangas, tacos, pizza, pancakes, pizza and a few other things. But it's different with Peter, if he died Wade would feel guilty. And Wade didn't feel guilty often, at all. Maybe it was because Peter wasn't food.

So when Peter did wake up- thank lord- Wade broke into a wide smile and rushed to his side while saying 'occupied!' For the eighteenth time when he heard a knock on the door. He heard an angry French swear word but took no notice because Peter was blinking and looking dazed. 

"Pete!" He said, with probably a bit to much enthusiasm considering Peter's current state. He let out a huge breath of relief. "Peter Jesus kid, thought you wouldn't wake again" he confessed as Peter's eyes seemed to gloss over and he zoned out.

Wades hands were trembling so much, worse then they ever did even after that one awesome Nevada trip where he woke up from a night of partying feeling like a corpse. Which was saying something. 

Wade snapped his fingers over his face and told him to snap out of it. "Want to explain yourself young man" he said, feeling very like his fifth grade teacher after she found a bucket full of frogspawn in Wades desk. Except his words weren't firm or strict, they were desperate and scared and he hated himself for that. He was cool easy going Wade, he didn't care for anything but food and hot women and he did not worry. He felt pretty worried right now though. 

"I did what they did in hunger games"

Wade could've punched him, or hugged him. He called him a poser instead of forcing the kid to just tell him. Tell him what the fuck was going through his head to make such a careless, reckless decision that made his heart jump around angrily in his chest. It was new to him and he didn't like it. Not at all. It felt shit, like a disgusting taster of what would happen if Peter did bleed out, if Wade hadn't gotten there and his healing factor had to face the damage on its own. It wouldn't have been quick enough. Wade didn't like that thought. 

After a weird conversation where Wade didn't punch or ask Peter what the fuck he had been thinking (he did hug him though) they finally wandered out of the bathroom. Peter leaning on him for extra support as the man who had been waiting at the door impatiently with his legs crossed desperately and a a stubby cigarette in his hands, so short  it was burning his fingers. He watched with confusion and horror as they left. Peter gave him a chirpy salute as they wandered by and Wade wondered how he had the energy to even walk. The healing factor must have been better then he originally thought. 

Wade led them to a cute cafe with ridiculous prices they couldn't afford but forced the kid to order any way. He was looking thin as always and sickly pale like all the blood had drained from him. Wade focussed on the menu. What was he becoming? He killed people! He was mercenary not some worry wart idiot who cared about people.

The waitress had look at him at horror as he greeted her with a friendly "Bonjour!" Then ranted off an order for big fat juicy cheeseburger.

"We do not serve those" she said in French tinged English with an air of superiority. Wow rude. 

"French fries?"

"This is a cafe, sir" she said with squinted eyes and a bucket load of judgement.

"They're FRENCH fries how don't you have them!" Wade said, because hello? Who doesn't serve French fries!

Peter butt in with his stupid bilingualism and spoke in an oddly amazing French accent considering he had nerve been to France bar today. Huh, Harvard better watch out, Hydra had the best education now. 

The waitress rose her elegant arched eyebrows as if slightly impressed, gestured to Wade and said something that included an insult if he recognised that snotty tone correctly. 

Peter's tone was bored and tired however but smirked slightly at her comment and nodded before she left with their orders.

"I wish you stopped doing that"

Peter looked up from where he fiddled with the hem of his hoodie. Well, Wades hoodie. Wade didn't even want it anymore though, they both were a hot mess still wearing the same close from there escape. Peter looked by far worse, his long sleeves covered his bandaged arm, the circles under his eyes looked like bruises, and his real bruises were healing to a colour of old honey, contrasting hard with his paper white face. 

"Doing what?" he asked, sounding exhausted. 

Being so clever after you almost stupidly killed yourself when their was a perfect solution ready! 

"Showing me up, your making me look bad, clever clogs" he said lightly instead. As much as he wanted to go off on the kid, he probably had enough of being told what he did wrong for his life time.

"You make yourself look bad, moron" he said, Wade was happy to see him look a bit more comfortable. The air eased a small bit and they weren't sitting as stiff anymore.

As if the whole thing hadn't happened.

The waitress came, placing a cute sandwich with heavenly looking bread before them, filled with fresh ham, cheese lettuce and an assortment of other things that made Wade’s mouth water. He hadn't had food since the Netherlands.

She placed Wades with a frown.

"Why does she hate me?" Wade said with confusion as she left and they tucked in.

"French servers don't typically like....Americans. Or anyone who orders a "big fat juicy cheeseburger" and insist french fries are from France" Peter said delicately with a wry smile.

"She's not getting a good tip" Wade grumbled. His superlative adjectives were nothing to look down on thank you very much. "Plus I'm Canadian"

"You act like an American, either way, how are we going to pay?" he said as he picked at the salad at the side of his sandwich. Eating the lettuce and cucumber but avoiding the tomato like the plague. For a guy who grew up on prison food, he was surprisingly picky.

"I was planning on doing a dine and dash and feel a bit guilty but now I might skip the whole 'guilty part'" Wade said, and took a huge bite of the sandwich. It tasted amazing, and it probably had a huge price to match. Not that Wade would know.

Peter's face wrinkled as if stealing was a sin. Which yeah, it probably was, how would Wade know? Again, for a guy who grew up in hydra, he was surprisingly morally good. "I suppose it can't be helped" he said, his tone turning indifferent. He turned to the waiter who was passing and spoke in rapid French, a little less bored now as he used hand gestures to make sure they got his order right.

Wade raised a questioning eyebrow "translate it please, ratatouille" Wade said.

Peter tilted his head in confusion at the nickname but decided to ignore it "I'm curious as to how real coffee tastes like" he said innocently.

Normally Wade would say peter had enough energy as is, but right now the kid deserved a pick me up so he hoped he ordered a mocha or a latte with an outrages about of caramel sauce and creamer. Anything was a treat compared to the coffee back at base though.

Of course he ordered black coffee. Typical.

He wrinkled his nose slightly as he tasted it, "bitter" he remarked. Good, Wade was getting scared that Peter was a robot. It's nice to see him act like a kid every now and again. 

He adds a spoon full of a sugar and gave it a taste, smiling slightly at the improvement. They sit there, lapping up the sun for a while. It's surprisingly peaceful and if you didn't have to pay at the counter then Wade would've got an ice cream. Bubblegum flavour and all, just to see the grimace on the kids face. 

Peter drained the coffee and lounged back. "We better go, we are still close to the library, I did my best to cover my tracks  but the might be able to track the intrusions still" Peter said softly, as if he didn't really want to leave but knew he should.

"So you had gotten pretty far but still decided to go rogue" Wade said dismissively, anger lacing with his worry and helplessness. He had six guns on him, he was not helpless for fucks sake he was feared in some parts of eastern Europe.

Peter's head clicked to face him before tilting once again like a lost puppy. His eyebrows drew together as if he was trying to figure out what Wade meant by that then he wrung his hands after noticing the bitterness in the tone. Wade felt mildly guilty but didn't say anything else. 

The tensions was so palpable you could cut it with a knife. Peter sat up straight. "We should go"

"Yeah" Wade said simply. 

Peter looked at him with a weird expression that he couldn't decipher. Anger? Nervousness? Guilt?. Wade didn't know, it seamed negative though.

Wade didn't like it. He shut his eyes. Act normal, he thought, for the kid.

"Alright kid, you got the need for speed?" he said, switching his tone to his usual one, sure it had a few cracks and flaws but the kid seemed grateful anyway and he broke into a dorky smile.

"Try to keep up old man" he said they both stood up discretely.

"Cash of card" the waitress drawled behind them. Causing them both to jump and turn guiltily.

Wade looked at Peter. He looked back. Run. They both seemed to think in unison.

Peter had it easier, he was small and quick and had a habit of fitting in places he shouldn't be able to. He moved swiftly through the crowds, laughing and looking happier then Wade had seen him in weeks. It was like the days before Logan left and the kid actually acted like a kid. He heard yelling from behind him and realised he was slacking and sped up his pace. He didn't have the same knack as Peter of wriggling again so he gained a bit more attention running through the streets. He ducked under tree branches that hung lower then they should, or atleast low for Wade. He hopped over boxes and stalls of the little shops on the side of the streets. Using his long legs as an advantage and lengthening his stride as he ducked past a corner of an old building. 

He huffed, out of breath, but sure that no one was tailing him. 

"Tired already?" Peter said, eyes alight, hopping from foot to foot, high on adrenaline. 

When Wade only leaned his head back on the wall as answer he kept talking.

"This is great, I don't know, I just feel so light, and there's no one to stop me y'know? We could do anything Wade, anything! And they can't stop us anymore" he said with a giggle that seemed wrong for Peter but perfect for a dorky teen from Queens.

"It's just feels so-" he cut himself off, his eyes flickering a round as if literally searching for the correct word.

"Free?" Wade suggested, letting himself smile slightly.

Peter's eyes sparkled "you feel it too?"

Wade shrugged. He didn't know, not really. He wanted to feel it. He wanted to feel worry free. Maybe he used up all his reckless freedom already.

This kid freed him, stopped him from becoming some bald, mute, freaky killer. Wade was finding it hard to feel like he had repaid him. He should have been quicker, he should have stopped him completely, he should have convinced him to just stick to his normal nerdy hacker plan instead of almost killing himself.

"Why did you do it?" Wade found himself asking. Peter stopped bouncing up and down as if startled by the question. Wade’s not surprised, they hardly ever address stuff like this. They never share personal stories, not really. They don't talk about their past or their family or anything important. That's the way he likes it. They are just two dudes that bounce well off each other. Sure Wade feels somewhat responsible for him but Peter can hold his own.

This is new territory, this is deeper. Normally if Peter tells him something it's his decision, Wade never asks, well,  he does but he doesn't really expect an answer. He just asks questions to be obtuse and hope he gets attention. 

This felt a bit too real and he wished he could think of a funny pop culture reference that Peter would roll his eyes at and say he didn't understand then Wade would say 'I'll force you to watch it one day'. He couldn't think of one and Wade thought he ruined it just there. That there wouldn't be a ‘one day’. 

"I had too" Peter said staring at the floor, his excitement draining. Wade felt bad for being the cause of it. Like stepping on a puppies tail by accident and seeing it yelp in surprise.

"You didn't" Wade said, shaking his head. See Peter, you’re not the only one who can be stubborn he thought.

"Wade." He said.

That's probably when he should've dropped it.

"Peter you could've died!"

Peter reeled back "but I didn't! What's gotten into you, since when do you care?" He sniped scornfully.

Wade frowned "of course I care Peter, believe it or not I don't want to see you dead" he said defensively. Why was he trying to convince the kid he cared when he didn't even know why he cared?

"Bull. Shit. You’re Wade! That's your whole shtick you don't pressure me, you don't get mad at me, you don't leave me, and you certainly don't care for me!" He ranted.

"I don't do those things because I do care Peter" he said diligently, wondering what kind of fucked up person made Peter believe those attributes are of a caring person.

Peter seemed to not know how to respond. His eyes twitched and his fingers fidgeted where they hung at his sides. "You don't."

“Peter, you’re just a kid-“

“Don’t say that.” He bites “I’m not some poor orphan for you to help for a few days then to throw back at the wolves just so you can feel like a good fucking Samaritan, Wilson” he growled “and I’m not some kid who doesn’t know what he’s doing”

Wade put his hands behind his head in shock and desperation “Peter what the fuck makes you think I would do that? I’ve stayed with you all this time. So sorry I’m not some psychopath who wants to see you fucking die on the floor. You had a perfectly safe option right there” Wade said feeling his anger climb.

“You don’t understand” he said, sending him a glare and turning around.

“Oi! Don’t pull that shit with me Pete-“ he said, placing a hand on Peter’s shoulder to turn him back around.

Peter spun around, fire in his eyes as he grabbed Wade wrist in a death hold. “Don’t pretend you know. Don’t pretend that you get me and don’t pretend that you care Wade because you don’t. It’s gone and I feel better than I ever have in my life! And frankly, being dead is better then having any part of Hydra in me” he said and let go of Wades hand forcefully with a snarl.

“You can’t make me not care Peter” Wade said gently. Since when was he gentle? “I don’t understand and I don’t like that you thought that was your only option but I don’t need to understand to care- look kid I don’t care about much so take it as a blessing-“

“You don’t know what you’re talking about James. You don’t want to care. Just shut up and leave me alone” he said and turned away.

Wade sucked in a breathe and watched as realisation hit Peter. He hunched further into himself.

“Who’s-“

“No one.”

“Peter.”

“Wade.”

“He’s no one Wade. Not anymore so just drop it” Peter said so desperately that Wade would be cruel to do anything else.

Wade sat on an empty crate turned over in the little alcove they had occupied, not quite an alley but a dead end that was not occupied and somewhat secluded, thank god.

Wade blew out a breath. What was he doing? What had his life become? And why did he care?

“Let’s go to New York” Peter said suddenly. His voice sounding so happy in an obnoxiously fake way.

“Isn’t-?“

“Yes that’s where the base was. So they will never think I’m stupid enough to go back.” Peter said forcefully. Wade thought it was stupid but didn’t want to start another fight. They were on thin ice.

“New York it is. Anywhere in particular?”

“Queens.”

Exactly where they will think to find him, Wade thought, at least he will be their to protect him. Peter can handle himself but Wade will never understand his distaste for guns, Peter needs a marksman and the best one is wrapped around his little finger.

“Alright, I might have a friend around here who can make us some fake passports-“ Wade said, while racking his mental contacts before Peter interrupted. 

“No plane.”

“Alright, let’s see if you can guilt trip your way into a ferry” Wade said “maybe bring me a long though, hanging onto the side of it last time made me realise I need to cut down on the tacos”, who’s he kidding, he will never cut down on the tacos.  

Peter gave a weak smile and itched at his arm over his sleeve. Peter once described his enhanced healing as itchy. Beats the pain of stitches, Wade had told him.

“Thank you”

“Anything for you baby boy” Wade said forcefully hoping Peter would groan and hit his arm like they normally did.

“Jerk” Peter mumbled but only tilted to the side a little to bump their shoulders. The height difference didn’t really allow it.

“Short stack.”

“Old man.”

Chapter Text

"....I didn't mean to embarrass-"

"Wade." Peter interrupted impatiently.

"Yes, Peter" Wade responded politely.

"Take all those...."words"  swirling around that toxic waste vat you call your brain and suffocate them. All of them. Every last syllable"

"But-"

"Kill them with your katana if you must. Just shut up" 

Peter stared steadily into Wades face.

He opened his mouth.

"Shutupshutupshutup!"

"I get it! You need some spidey alone time! S'cool with me!" He said, holding his hands in surrender "and I'm sor-"

"No apologies will make me forgive you. Ever, ever again" Peter said and dragged his hands down his face as he remembered his past embarrassment.

"You're being a tad dramatic." Peter thought that was a bit rich coming from the drama queen himself.

"You put chocolate on my seat then told the nice lady I shat myself!" Peter whined angrily.

Wade cackled shamelessly. He wiped an imaginary tear from his eyes. He took a deep breath. Then dissolved into giggles again.

"You're a child" Peter said and crossed his arms with a pout.

"It was- it was to make us look less threatening!" Wade defended weakly through wheezes. His defence didn't work so well when it was half giggles.

"You did it for your own enjoyment you sadistic fuck"

So yeah, it was safe to say they were over their whole heart felt, tear threatening, gooey, emotional squabble that every millennial women would eat up like a Rachel McAdams chick-flick and were right back to their R rated, witty, immature and probably offensive quick fires that felt straight from a Reese and Wernick movie.

That's right. Peter could make references now. Wade gave him a pop culture crash course on the stupidly long boat ride that they definitely didn't weasel their way on illegally. Them illegal? No way! They were practically Boy Scouts! 

Wade was definitely rubbing off on him, which he didn't like, the fact that he knew Wade would say a stupid dirty joke if he ever voiced that thought just solidified the whole thing.

Either way, squabble over. Put away your pop corn and pumpkin spiced lattes ladies and gentlemen because it's back to hardcore murder and comedy.

Well, that's how it was supposed to go. Because as much as he hates the whole 'stabby stabby shooty shooty' thing it's kind of engraved in him at this point, no matter how many times he nearly kills himself by getting physical pieces of Hydra out of him, mentally they were always going to be there! He's accepted that!

That's a lie, he hasn't accepted it but he's good at pretending he has, and pretending he's okay so really what's the difference? If he focussed his brain away from all the shitty things in his life then he feels better. He likes to push it all down till it bursts, and thankfully he's already had his annual burst so he's all good to go.

So yes, he buckled up for hardcore street-life in New York City, baby! Because he's totally badass and can kill with his eyes closed and- hold on why was he saving someone from a mugging and helping several cats out of trees after the first week he got off the boat, he was meant to be hardcore!

He's a weak man, and that calico meowed so meekly it would have taken a monster to ignore it! And despite popular opinion, he is not a monster.

Maybe that's just something that will stick with him. He's had enough killing for a life time anyway. The violence hasn't left him completely completely but he's blaming that on his childhood and if a bad guy catches him on a particularly hard night, then it's not his fault the bicycle thief went home with a broken arm and the knowledge to never steal again it was their fault for having that stupid Brooklyn accent that always made him nostalgic. 

Peter checked the stats, after his arrival crime rates went way down in Queens but also Brooklyn. Brooklyn hospital emissions also went up though....

Wade says it's good to take your anger out on something.

So besides the odd person chewing too loudly or the more gruesome criminals his enhanced hearing has the misfortune of zeroing in on, he doesn't feel all too homicidal. Which is surprising for him.

There was one person he wanted to kill right now though, and that was Wade Wilson. 

"She wouldn't have given you those nice pants if I hadn't!" Wade justifies but he was still clutching his stomach like the laughing fit he just endured had given him a stitch.

"I'm not a charity case" Peter reminded. He feels like he has to do that even more and more recently, he thought New Yorkers were heartless and rude and didn't care about anyone else. Why, oh why, did he get free churro off a nice lady after she gave him a pitying look. More importantly, why did Wade tell her, quite visually, that Peter was a grown boy who needed diapers.

"You need more then one pair of pants if you want to go to school" Wade said in a matter of fact tone as if he hadn't dropped out and joined the army before he could graduate. Oh great, the school topic again. He always found a why to turn the conversation back to it.

"I don't want to go to school" Peter said stubbornly. Ever since they had reached New York, Wade has been trying to acclimate Peter to 'normal' life as a teenager. Peter has been stubbornly fighting him every step of the way. He suspected this was connected to the whole him 'caring' about Peter thing that made Peter cringe any time he thought back to it. He simply decided that he was a dangerous guy to get close to! If he let Wade too far beyond the wall then Wade was in serious danger. It sounded dramatic, but he's not taking any chances especially with his track record.

Wade has seemed to drop it but Peter is trying his best to appear totally mentally stable so the topic doesn't come up again. God forbid he ever asks Peter about the whole calling him James incident.

"Sure you do! You have so much to learn" Wade said, dragging him out of his thoughts.

Peter steadied him with a look.

"Oi! Don't get a big head mister, just because you have an IQ like Einstein's doesn't mean you're better then the rest of us" Wade said with an accusing finger and a snobby sniff.

"I never said I was!" Peter said with a glare. Wade knows him, he's just riling Peter up so he gets what he wants. The worst part is, despite his far too deep knowledge of manipulation, he probably will end up doing what Wade wants.

"Besides your social skills are far below average" Wade tacks on dismissively.

"Rude" mutters Peter.

"What with the mumbling and sarcastic retorts and bad eye contact" Wade said, flaunting his arms around as he paced and counting each of Peter's faults off on his fingers. "It just won't do. We must build on it" he decides.

"I can make eye contact" Peter said, slightly offended. He grew up locked in a cell, of course he was a tad fucked up. It's a package deal, apparently. Considering this, he was pretty good at it.

"Yes you can, that's the problem. You stare. Or glare. Yes definitely glare. it feels like you are gonna murder who ever you make eye contact with" he said "you have a- what's it called" he snapped his fingers a few times "a resting bitch face!"

Peter gaped "I don't not." He said affronted.

"You so do. You didn't get the nickname grumpy cat for nothing" Wade said as if that proves anything. 

"This still doesn't explain why you told the nice churro lady I shat my pants!" Peter says, trying to deflect it.

"If you drop out of school, you gotta get a job kid. Earn your coop blah blah blah or whatever" Wade said mockingly, adapting a Texan accent for some reason and completely ignoring Peter's question like the ass he is. Peter technically didn't even drop out. Unless pre K counted and that wasn't voluntary.

Peter sighed. This was all moving too fast for him. He was getting whiplash, one moment he was working for Hydra the next Wade is trying to enrol him in school. With kids! It's a danger hazard, that's what it is. He's barely back two weeks but Wade is nothing but eager.

"You ain't no free loader, pay the bills or get lost" Wade said with a raised eyebrow.

"You have bills? I thought this was a squat" Peter teased. 

Wade had lead him to this shabby apartment when the got off the boat. It smelt like mold and pot noodles but the water ran and the beds were comfy. It was practically luxury to Peter. However, he couldn't help but contradict Wade. 

"Oh har har. I'm Peter and I'm so clever" Wade said with a voice that resembled a little girls.

"I have stuff to do Wade I don't have time for school or a job" Peter said with a groan. 

Ever since he helped that calico from the tree he couldn't stop. It was becoming a problem. It's just, so many people needed help and he had all the enhanced abilities to help them. He didn't want anyone else to have shitty life like him, even if that someone was a kid looking for her football.

"Oh yeah? Does this have anything to do with the hooded figure going around Queens doing acts of kindness" Wade said even though he already knew the answer. He was good at reading Peter. Well better than most at least. Maybe it was the similar coping techniques.

"...no" Peter said unconvincingly.

"Mhm" Wade hummed with disbelief. Honestly Peter didn't even know how he knew, the guy spends half his time at the bar and the other half getting gold cards from the bar and doing his 'job'.

"I always knew you would be a superhero. Like the next Captain America. You just have that whole moral, righteousness, patriotic thing about you"  Wade said finally, like he wasn't surprised.

"No I don't. Take that back Wade! Take it back right now!" Peter cringed.  He didn't want to be  like Captain America. He's too...perfect. He knows James would kill him for saying that, maybe Steve Rogers is nice but Captain America seemed a bit too above everyone. Bigger then life. Besides he was not a soldier. Not anymore.

"Sorry kid it is what it is, and every time you help and old lady with her shopping you make it more true"

"She had two heavy bags and a walking stick! I was being nice!" 

Wade levelled him with an unimpressed look.

He stared at him and Peter stared back.

"Alright alright! I'll work part time but only if you find me somewhere that will hire 14 year olds" Peter said, he can't believe he was doing this. He was a danger hazard to people around him. He was being selfish. But if it meant Wade would shut up then by all means.

"On it"

Maybe it will distract him. It's always good to have a purpose.

The lights were flickering, the floor was sticky, it smelt like rum and sweat and some other thing he couldn't put his finger on...wet dog? Peter had encountered lots of smells over time but he couldn't place this weird one. Probably drug related. It was stuffy and full of drunk criminals. There was laughter, fighting, swearing, shouting and yet...it was oddly comforting. There were no long white hallways, only differencing in length, no stern adults in lab coats or cruel soldiers in ironed uniforms with rifles laying in their hands like a promise. 

But god that smell. 

He scrunched his nose and turned back to the dirty blond haired man standing behind the wooden caps yes adorned with rings and stains.

"Nuh uh" the man said "nuh uh, I ain't doing it Wilson. I ain't hav'n kiddie blood on my hands! Not happening" he was cleaning a glass with an old cloth behind a bar, only stopping to push his taped together glasses further up the bridge of his nose. 

"There won't be any blood weas'! Peter's a tough cookie, aren't you Pete?" Wade said encouragingly and grasped Peter's shoulder.

"Oh yeah real tough...cookie. Break their teeth and whatnot" Peter said dryly as he spun a butter knife that was left on the bar in in his hand. Gaining weird looks from the man who must've been named 'weasel'. His parents really must've hated him to don him a name like that.

Wade gave Weasel a look to say 'see!' But the man remained sceptical.

"I don't know..." 

"C'mon man! For your best bud? The kid will work for dirt cheap too, he will basically be your servant" Wade said, trying to sell him.

Peter lifted his head. "At least minimum wage. I get whatever tips I earn"  he said shortly and gave Wade a stern look. He didn't like being bossed around, nothing would stop him from getting fired in a day if he wasn't getting a fair pay. But who even gets a fair pay in America these days?

"Peter we talked about this, no more grumpy cat face!" Wade said then shot an apologetic look at Weasel "and he'll take whatever your offering weas' he needs to work up the ladder first"

Weasel looked thoroughly freaked out and kept sending concerned looks at the butter knife in Peter's hand. 

"I ain't gonna stab you with a butter knife man" Peter growled. He said, real typical Queens accent. The one where people could tell you were dirt poor if you had it. His parents were wealthy enough, he thinks or at least they could've been if they had time to show their discoveries. Doesn't really matter either way, he probably spoke more Russian growing up anyway. Except when he was with James. James didn't like it much when they spoke Russian. Bad experiences, Peter supposed.

Weasel took a step back.

"One week free trial. If you last that long without getting killed or killing kid, you got the job." Weasel said.

Wade grinned "thanks buddy!"

He high-fived Peter enthusiastically. 

"You start now" Weasel said and tossed him the cloth he was holding. "Clean the tables. Get the glasses. Don't get killed and don't start any bar fights. Got it?" Weasel ordered.

"Sure" Peter said unenthusiastically. It's better than Hydra at least, and believe it or not the giddy freedom hasn't exactly completely left. It felt nice to clean away the tables like any other teenager getting s part time job. Except instead of working at a restaurant, he was working at a merc bar. Baby steps. Baby steps. 

Maybe it's good for his self health. Whatever that even means, Wade keeps going on about this book that he wrote (when did he get a chance to write a book and why did he write it?) and keeps recommending the anger management chapter, even if it wasn't complete bullshit, the last person he would read a book by is Wade. His advice is the exact opposite of what you should do. 

Peter shot glares at the customers who looked at him weird, because they were mercenaries and they deserved it. Yes his only friend right now was a mercenary too but Peter liked to overlook that fact.

Peter kept an ear out because it was always good to have information on anyone you come in contact with. This rule has saved his ass far too many times. Besides, no one suspected him. As far as they were concerned, they could crush him with their little finger. And Peter liked it that way! So much easier to stab them in the back when they don't expect it.

In fact, it's ten times easier again, when they suspect you the least. Keep your enemies close and whatnot.

"Hey man can I top that up for you" Peter motioned to the empty beer pint glass on the grimy counter top. The guy who owned it, Buck, was the biggest guy in there. From what Peter has seen however, he's a gentle giant. Unless someone touches his precious Harley bike or makes any motion towards the girl he's had his eyes on. From what Peter can tell, Buck doesn't have the nerve to ask the women out. Again, gentle giant.

"Who'r you" Buck slurred.

"Got this job today. Wanna show boss I'm real good at it" Peter said, avoiding the question that he didn't even know the answer to but theirs no time to delve into that. He smiled in a way that he showed all his teeth and scrunched his eyes. Just like adults like it. They like to see you young and innocent. And having Buck on his side would be a big bonus.

"Huh...aren't you a lil' young?" he grumbled suspiciously but pushed the pint towards Peter. 

Peter beamed and refilled it at the bar "Ah well you know how it is" Peter said dismissively. 

He nodded, more drunk then sober probably.

"Right, you should work in coppers down the road if ya need the dosh kid...this ain't a place for youngsters" he said into his glass as he got the foam from his bear all over his greying beard. 

Peter smirked. This was going how he wanted. He shook his head bashfully "nah coppers is too fancy" he said with an easy smile that was only 90% fake, which is good, really! "I think they make ya where a tie down there!" Peter said in an exaggerated whisper, slipping into the New York accent as easy as he does any other. He liked it the best, it felt like home. People don't stop and stare when you talk like you lived here your whole life. It was a reminder of a life he could have had. 

The man laughed. 

Mission accomplished he thought, then cursed himself instantly for thinking like a Hydra soldier. He was being polite and making connections, not completing an objective.

Maybe it will take him a while to get used to it.

"You stick by me kid, got it? I don't want you wandering off towards Joes crew and getting your face knocked in" he said sternly "and uh...fetch me another beer will ya? One from the fridge I know that weasel is hiding in the back" he said with a smile like he was letting Peter in on a secret. 

"On it" Peter said, trying to hide his satisfaction as he did a chirpy salute and headed for the back. 

"I made a friend today" Peter said, mouth so close to the phone that it was probably gone staticky on the other side me. His breath was laboured and his hand shook where he was pushing his phone up against his face. 

"Peter? I'm in middle of a job right now. Can't you tell me this when I get home" Wade said. "...unless you want to hear me interrogate this tweeny toodle who thinks it's okay to go behind my girls Samantha's back" Wade said as if he was talking more to the 'tweeny toodle' then to Peter.

"I no- wait who's Samantha" Peter asked curiously and shoved his hand further into his side to try and get rid of the pain. 

"Oh she's this girl who's friends with Becky, you know from the bar? The brunette with a nice butt? Yeah well I'm doing her a solid and spooking her ex because he asked out another girl while he was with Samantha" 

"Let me guess, he asked out Becky"

"Ding ding" 

"Wow that's cooler than my night. I saw this mugging and tried to intervene. Turns out it was a gang. Who were fighting another gang. While another gang tried to stage and attack. Now get this. They all team up on me now they're all webbed up and I think I might pass out. Wait.. is the ex have dark hair and a face that looks kinda like a squirrel?" Peter ranted as he blinked the fatigue away. Well he just blinked a lot. The fatigue was still there. And some nausea. Yup. A lot of nausea.

"Ha! I thought that too!" He laughed "Yeah that's right man we are talking about you." He said slightly quieter as he had his phone away from his face to talk to the ex. "It's the eyes- wait did you say that you got in a gang war?" 

"Ohhh definitely the eyes, like the mad look they get when they're going after acorns. Like Sid from ice age" Peter said with a chuckle that made his eyes bulge in pain. Eh whatever.

"I'm so happy I made you watch ice age. But Peter, the whole gang war thing?" Wade pushed.

"No no wait I saw squirrel face and Becky together when I was working earlier. Right after I made friends with Buck" Peter said then dry heaved fro a second as another wave of nausea hit him. He cleared his throat a little "anyway they had their hands all over each other"

"...there is simply too much to unpack right now, did you just throw up on the phone. You know I hate vomit" Wade whined.

"I thought you hate cows" 

"Don't bring that up right now"

"Right"

"Meet me back at the apartment so we can talk about this and possibly fix your injuries" Wade sighed. Peter heard a gun click and laughter as he heard another guy yell.

"Don't shoot him" Peter reprimanded.

"Relax I was only joking! Now hurry I'm thinking of ordering Thai as well" 

"Sure..I'll be stumbling guy crawling up the stairs"

"We have an elevator"

Peter groaned and hung up.

"Dude you need to stop getting stabbed."Wade complained as he tossed Peter some gauze.

"All in a days work buddy. Plus what's a healing factor for huh?" Peter said easily and wrapped the bandages around his stomach. 

"I don't know. Fighting off colds. Not closing up bullet and knife wounds" Wade complained as if he wasn't constantly bed ridden because everyone liked to shoot him. Peter has had that temptation too.

"And a fork wound!" Peter piped in proudly. It's not everyday you get forked.

"You got forked. You shouldn't be proud." Wade said but he was smiling so it was okay.

"Yeah but it's a good icebreaker 'yeah I got forked before haha LOL" 

"Did you just say LOL? oh my god. I've created a monster. What have I done?" Wade said dramatically and fell on to the couch with the back of his hand on his face like one of those Victorian women who fan themselves when they cry and place their hand on their forehead when they faint.

"I'm adapting" Peter shrugged and shoved some rice into his mouth. Keeping Thai food from Peter was surprisingly high up on the list on why Hydra was bad.

"What happened to the sweet little boy who didn't know what instagram was" Wade reminiscences. 

"I wish I didn't know what instagram was. Your account is truly vile" 

"It's unique"

Peter barked out a laugh then nearly choked on his food "yeah that's a word for it all right"

"Hey I'll have you know- Oi! Don't look at your phone while I'm talking to you. Jeez teenagers these days-"

"Shush" Peter said as he looked at his vibrating phone. The phone simply read unknown caller. Who could've gotten his number. Was it dangerous to answer. If they had his number surely they could track him.

"Boop" Wade said as he came up behind Peter and tapped the answer button.

"Wilson!" Peter hissed. He punched Wade in the arm and smiled at the weak “ow” Wade mumbled.

He heard a small chuckle come from his phone and promptly shut his mouth. 

There was a tense awkward silence where Peter's finger hovered over the hang up button cautiously.

"Hey bub" the voice finally said. Only one person still used bub unironically.

Wade instantly perked up."Wolvy you sneaky bastard! Where did you run off too? Followed the moon?" Wade harangued as Peter felt his stomach sink.

God he was such an idiot! The mutants that they had taken. The innocents. The whole reason he left in the first place! He promised to go help them. He mumbled a curse as plans were already taking over his brain. Would they chose a new subject to try their inhumane experiments on now that Wade was gone? He hopes not. Is it too late?

"God I never thought I would say this, but I'm happy to hear your voice Wilson" Logan said and heaved a giant sigh of relief. "God with everything happening-"

"Oh my god" Peter groaned "oh my god"

"I will address that in a second Wolvy, Pete's having an existential crisis over here" Wade said calmly then turned to Peter.

"The hostages Wade- the mutants who they were going to take the abilities from for you-"

"Woah woah kid I have that handled, phew let me tell you what's been going on with me. With my brother killing my wife then my wife being not dead but also working for them and then I got metal bones because I didn't know so I went to kill Victor for killing my wife-" Logan said then cut himself off with a laugh that sounded kind of painful but Peter didn't question it.

"So the others...they're all okay..?" Peter asked hesitantly. Peeking through his fingers as he felt his worry draining slightly.

"Yeah- yeah! They're okay kid got em' all out. Even he annoying one with the sunglasses" Logan grumbled.

Peter let out a sigh and suddenly a weight had been lifted from his shoulders he didn't know was there.

"Uhm I think you should probably start from the start" Peter recommended.

Chapter Text

Logan had a lot to say. However he was never one with words so his story was painstakingly eradicated from him in one word sentences with a lifetime of grumbling, growling and gruffness involved. By the end of the phone call Peter was only slightly wiser, Wade probably had lost one of his two remaining brain cells and Logan made Peter promise to visit him or else. Or else what? Peter didn't know, but it was sure to be painful, or embarrassing or painfully embarrassing.

Also Logan had metal bones, Victor had switched to the dark side and Logan had joined some potentially illegal and or potentially do-gooder team called X-men. Wade nearly shed a tear when Peter asked if he had ever heard of them. Peter reminded him he had lived under a rock nearly his whole life. Wade gave him a very in depth history of them. Then gave him another history lesson of every superhero group ranging from the amazing fantastic four to the homicidal vigilante squad called the defenders.  

Peter then did his own research after because he did not want to get on the bad side of any inhuman or mutant group and listening to Wades advice was generally a bad idea. 

Weirdly enough, he learns the most about the modern world from Weasel's bar. He had looked up every query he ever had on a library computer once he had gotten the chance then realised he didn't know exactly what he wanted to know. He had read into all the avengers, and hacked into the Shield database to get the especially delicate information, delete any tiny traces of Peter himself in it before covering his tracks. He steered clear of anything labelled 'Winter Soldier', the wound was still a bit too fresh, and unfortunately his healing factor did nothing to quicken his emotional pain. After burying any evidence he, or spider, were even alive and stalking any one who deemed stalk worthy he found himself at a dead end. He didn't know who or what to search so he spent an hour reading a book from the children's fiction section that was probably below his age group but after years of reading above his reading level he indulged himself in some Greek mythology retelling for kids. It was funny and took his ever wandering mind off things so he deemed it not a total waste of time. 

However, after working only a week at a merc bar he discovered that the foundation of information he had laid down for himself was scarily scarce and that you find out what's really happening in New York in the most unconventional ways.

Maybe that's because nobody ever bothers to tell Google that daredevil is dangerously territorial or that black cat has stolen off people so stealthily that even the victims couldn't tell until years later. It does show however, a multitude of pictures of Captain America saving puppies or helping little old ladies crossing streets, Hulk saving a bus of school children and whatever scandal Tony Stark is currently in. Maybe it's the avengers trying to get good PR to make up for their past troubles, maybe it's just the internet only showing people what they want to see.

But in a bar full of convicts who think they are in a safe place and have an addiction to bragging, that's where you here the real life stuff. No sugar coatings, no happy puppies, real life shit that's actually important.

Of course, he also picks up a lot of useless gossip that he does his best to tune out to make room for the important stuff. And if he goes out at night, with his hood pulled over his head to intervene with this important stuff, no one can prove it was him. And if they could, he would pull the 'innocent child' face and get Wade (and maybe his new friend Buck) to take care of them.

That's what he's doing when Wade walks in, he’s cleaning the countertop (he got upgraded to working behind the bars when Weasel is out) and using his enhanced hearing to his advantage by listening into a conversation going on in a booth at the back of the bar. Sketchy stuff that he will undoubtably intercept later on. Murmurs of his presence seem to waft around, no one has a proper name for him but the gangs are seeming to piece together that it's the same guy intercepting each time. If Peter plans in making this a full time thing, he's going to have to get a proper mask.

"Dropping some eaves, lil' bug boy" Wade said, popping up from thin air, swiping a handful of peanuts and hopping onto a bar stool. "Maybe you should become a rapper. I can see lil' bug boy being at the top of the charts" Wade said through loud munches. Peter scrunched his nose in a grimace he hoped Wade would take as a hint to close his mouth while chewing and turned his attention to the man child.

"What gave me away" Peter said, squinting his eyes. He thought he didn't have a tell, or at-least not a noticeable one. Maybe it's because he's having a harder time picking up the whispered conversation over the bustling noise and distance. Either way, he would like to work on it. His spy ways will never leave him and he's not mad about that at all really, his life isn't easy sailing from here and he needs every advantage he can get.

"Huh? Oh the listening in? You cock your head like a cutsie 'ittle puppy. Totes adorbs!" he said (Wade had a tendency to talk like a stereotypical American teenage girl) and then started throwing the peanuts into his mouth. Ew. Peter had better etiquette and he grew up in Hydra. 

"I'm not adorbs" Peter said, saying the word like it's alien and he truly dislikes it. ",and don't do that I'll have to clean it up" Peter said and hid the bowl from him and expertly catching the angrily thrown peanut before it hit its target, the target being his face.

"Grumpy cat returns" Wade grumbled "what's got you in a mood?" He says in a yawn, quite literally tired of Peter's shit.

"You." He's not feeling particularly helpful today.

"Oh harsh" he says and clutches his heart "and here I thought we-"

"Are you gonna get a drink or sit here monologuing?" Peter says dryly, he's heard the mock 'don't you love me' speech far too many times and he's scared that his eyes will permanently roll back into his head

"Stop being a teenager it hurts my sensitive heart" Peter's heard lots about his sensitive heart, but then again it's the same guy who has a habit of shooting instead of waiting for his kill to give up information. He had a short attention span, Peter respected that, but maybe don't count down from ten if you're going to shoot at six anyways, or better again, don't kill people. Wade said he didn't like when Peter talked nonsense like that though. Pah! Don't kill anyone? What else is there to do in your free time?

"Good. Drink?" Peter replied, he didn't have any energy to spare on having an animated conversation right now, currently it was all going towards keeping his eyes opened.

"A blowjob please, to go with my nuts" Wade says immaturely with a glint in his eyes.

"Say it a bit louder and the people at the back will think you're a pedo aswell." Peter says rolling his eyes and making the stupidly named drink. "This is gross, how do you drink it" Peter says and slides it across the counter to Wade. The concoction was a horrendous mixture of Kahlua, baileys and whipped cream. Peter thought any alcoholic drink with whipped cream on top of it was bound to be bad.

"I don't" he said then called over a very pretty women who served the further away tables that Peter hadn't had the nerve to address ever. "Kelly! Kelly! Kelly!" Wade hounded the poor women before she came over. It didn't take too long to figure out Wades objective, and like always it was violence. Wade sent the drink to one table from another table (probably with a dirty message) in hopes they fight. In fairness, this one looked promising.

Peter was not in the mood for a bar fight but there was no stopping Wade when he wanted to win the death pool. Yes, there was a bet going on about who would die first. Peter secretly put Wade. It was a strategical choice.

Peter groaned.

"Oh lighten up pipsqueak" Wade said, leaning his elbows on the counter and waiting for the fighting to commence.

"What good will come from this, besides the extra workout I'll get mopping up the blood?" Peter said into his hands.

"I don't take shits, I only disturb them"

"How selfless of you" 

Buck stood up with a roar and started attacking a guy that Peter recognised but didn't know the name of. 

"Cheers" Wade said jauntily and held up his proper drink. Surprisingly just a normal beer and not some puke worthy concoction.

Peter ignored him in favour of watching Buck smash a stool over the other guys head. "That was a new stool. Weasels going to kill me" Peter said, and if the countertop wasn't so gross he would be smashing his face into it and hiding from the world of noise and every other thing that made him blah, ick or yech. He hates his thoughts.

"You look tired" Wade said thoughtfully, ignoring the full blown fight behind him as Peter hopped the counter and made sure the guy was still breathing after he had been knocked out cold while everyone else did a drumroll as he checked. Wade swore when he lost. 

"Next time buddy" Peter said unsympathetically and made his way back behind the bar, purely because of the space heater he placed under the counter to keep his legs warm. 

"Drink" Wade said pushing his drink across "maybe it will make you less anxious, it's stressing me out dude and I don't get stressed easily" Wade said seriously.

"I'm not even fifteen yet" Peter said and pushed it back. Age was never an issue in his life, but he didn't want to create any more problems for himself. He's read books, he knows how easy it is to get addicted to stuff especially if you have a crappy load. He's also read the consequences, he wants to keep his health for now. It's the same thing as when Hydra wouldn't put him on morphine or anything else to numb the pain, it could cause long term problems. And probably because they liked not giving Peter any anaesthesia because they were sick bastards. Peter had enough problems as is thank you very much.

"Oh oh! That reminds me, your birthday is soon yes? I got you a prezzie!!" He said and started ruffling through his mission bag like it was Santa's sack.

"Uh yeah" he said, scratching at the back of his head with his eyebrows drawn together "how- how did you know that?" Peter himself hadn't even realised august had been approaching.

"I have my ways"

"It's my birthday? How did you know?" He said in a mix of surprise and excitement.

Only James Barnes can make another birthday in hydra exciting.

"I have my ways" he said, "But that doesn't matter, I made you something" he said, torn between hesitation and pride as he ruffled through his pockets.

Peter let out a gravely breath that felt like sandpaper in his throat and blinked away the melancholy nostalgia as he put on a small smile for Wade.

The small spider pendant carved from wood that James had given him seemed to almost burn on his wrist where he had attached it to a leather band and positioned it right under his web shooters. It had seemed like lifetimes ago that he had received the gift while bantering back and forth with James as he bashfully gave Peter the gift. It had been three years yet the thought still hurt.

"Ah here we go" he said and pulled a clunky gift wrapped in newspaper and masking tape.

"Will this bring you out of your sour puss mood?" Wade said as Peter unwrapped the present with a tiny smile on his face.

"Depends on if you got me something good" Peter said jokingly and tore away the last piece of wrapping.

"Oh" he said softly as he spun the gift in his hand. It looked almost brand new, and very expensive. 

"I stole it off some creepy peeping Tom guy. No pervert deserves a pretty camera like that" Wade explained as Peter lifted the camera up to his face and admired how beautiful the bar appeared through the view finder of the camera. Instead of looking grimy and full of thugs. It looked cozy...and full of thugs. Yeah, nothing can make thugs look good.

He pointed it at Wade, who did a pretend hair flip and piece sign at the attention, and snapped a photo. He snorted as the blurry picture appeared on the screen. 

"This is great I love it" Peter said with a smile. 

Peter looked at him for a second, contemplating his next action.

"What's that face for- don't worry I got a new SIM card- oh" 

He cut himself off as Peter awkwardly gave him a quick hug from across the bar then ducked his head again.

"Wow a Parker hug, that's a rare occurrence. Good present huh?" He said with a smug smile.

"Wow you know my surname too? Where did you find my file?"

"I didn't I just read the little book where you right down all the shit you remember" Wade said with a shrug.

"Hey! That's private" Peter protested.

"It's stuck to the fridge?" Wade said in a laugh.

"Well yeah, my remembering book wouldn't be a lot of use if I couldn't remember where I put it" Peter said because it was obvious.

Wade put his hand up in surrender "sorry I'll make sure not to read the things you stick to my fridge" he said sarcastically.

"Good." Peter nodded satisfied.

Wade sipped his beer and Peter made some drinks for customers in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

"Thank you. I appreciate it a lot"

"Yeah kid, I know"

Facial expressions and body language are funny things. It's easy to gauge how a persons day is going just by their expression. 

They're hunching their shoulders and their eyes are downcast, they're sad. They have a jump in their step and have a smile, they're happy. Sometimes the emotions are more complicated or less strong and therefore harder to read but Peter had become an expert like all soldiers of hydra.

He sat on a ledge, higher up than any normal person could possibly reach and pointed his camera first at the sky. Though it was pretty, it got bland quick. The streets of New York however? No. They never got bland. A bored woman spinning a sign to go to a hotdog stand. A grimy dog looking at a child's icecream expectantly. A briskly walking business woman, who looked to hate every person in her vicinity. A ginger cat prancing along atop everyone, pouncing from fire escape to doorway arches, to bus stops like it was a game.

Never bland, ever the chaos. He's discovered the best way to blend in like this. 

You see someone walking along the pavement, face blank as a slate, body tense, muscles taut, eyes trained ahead; you see no story. That's what sticks out. Everyone has a story, if it looks like you don't have one, that's how someone knows you're lying. Even if your story is as bland as white bread you will only blend in with the countless of others. People are curious by nature, they see you are closed off and they yearn to know your story as to why you are closed off to make their white bread life more entertaining. You get unwanted attention. Suddenly, boom. You've achieved exactly the opposite of what you wanted.

You see a happy go lucky guy strolling along the pavement, hands in pockets, expression open. The most an average person would think is, wow, fuck you for being so happy. 

People won't try and understand you, because they think there is nothing to understand besides dad jokes and puns.

I'm conclusion, be the former person.

Pros- you get less attention.

Cons- the facade is a goddamn nightmare. Peter knows from experience.

His camera zooms in on an alley way that his spider sense had drawn him too without his notice. He zoomed in to see some kind of sketchy looking meet up.

He pulled up his hood and aimed his web shooters. Was this becoming a regular thing? 

"Holy fucking alien weapons" Peter exclaimed excitedly. "Neat!" 

He spun the different modes on his web shooters, that he's been spending a lot of time on upgrading recently, to his impact webs. He zeroed in on the truck. Five men selling. Three men buying. One spider guy about to kick some butt.

"Hey, hey! Sorry to interrupt fellas, you don't know where the nearest Starbucks is do ya?" he said from directly behind the deal. Eight weapons trained on him instantly. Four of which alien tech. Two pistols. One revolver and one knife. 

"Dude, what if I were just a civilian looking for a Starbucks? Jeez Lois" Peter said as his mind went through every possible way to stop this with as little collateral damage as possible.

"Who are you?" The guys with the knife said. Brave move considering the knife looked like the size of his finger. 

"That's the guy Jonah was on n' on about" another said from behind.

"What the spider guy?" 

"Yeah!"

"Nah he's too short"

"Jonah ain't say nothing bout how tall he was"

Short? Peter was average for his age! Damn street thugs were harsh.

However, there conversation had given Peter the time to think of exactly how he was going to execute this.

He shot an impact web from both of his web shooters to their heads, knocking out two of the guys holding alien weapons. Take out the biggest threat first, then move to the lesser. He had no idea how the alien tech worked and had no intention too. He rolled to the side to avoid a shot from one of the alien weapons that was an eerie blue, switched his web shooters to normal webs and shot a web at a pistol and wanked so it was flung behind him. He used the wall next to him to add height to his jump. He switched to his net webs while in the air, then flipped so he had a good shot and webbed the two last guys that had alien weapons. 

He landed with a kick to the guy who had lost his pistol who was scrambling around in panic and webbed the others face, yanked down and brought his knee up. Knocked out, he fell to the ground. The guy with a revolver attempted to run, but tripped over Peter’s outstretched foot and was promptly webbed to the ground.

Only the guy with the knife was still standing, staring Peter down like he was in a western drama and their was dramatic music playing and a bird kakawing in the distance.

He held up in tiny knife menacingly and Peter held in a laugh.

“Just let me go” he said like he had the higher ground after Peter just took down everyone else in two minutes. However, Peter liked to troll.

“Is that a knife?!” He said in fake fear. “Is that a real knife” he yelled “eugh” and held his hands up as he knelt to the ground.

“Yes, it’s a real knife” he said with a smirk. God, how can some people be so confident when they’re so wrong. 

“My weakness, is small knives-“ 

“C’mon man just let me go”

“Anything but small knives!” he said then shot a web to the man’s hand and sticking it to the wall behind him. “Oh it’s so simple” he said in a laugh.

“What the hell is this” he said looking to the webs.

Peter looked to him from his colleagues on the floor who we all struggling in the same web.

“It’s webbing? I develop it myself. I don’t think you wanna-“

“C‘mon let me go!” The guy pleaded.

Peter shot his other hand, attaching it to the wall so his hands were stuck in a surrender position.

He started to pretend to sneeze.

“Knock it off man!”

“Ah ah ah achoo” he faked then shot the man in the crotch at the ‘choo’ part.

“Crotch shot!” He laughed and shot loads more webs at him, only taking a break to laugh when the guy goes “this isn’t funny!”

“It is kinda funny”

“Helppp!”

“Shhh” Peter shushed and webbed his mouth shut.

He cocked his head as the man struggled to breathe as he listened in to the advancing sirens.

He advanced on the man and hit the webbing so he had an opening to breath properly.

“You tell the cops anything about me, this won’t be the last time seeing me, got it?” Peter threatened and the man nodded quickly.

“Great” Peter said, slapping him on the shoulder “oh and stay away from alien weapon dealings, not cool man” Peter said and started to head back into the darkness of the alley.

“Stop! Put your hands in the air” a voice came from behind and flashed an LED torch in his face, so bright that it made Peter put his hand up in front of his sensitive eyes. Thank fully it also covered his face from view.

He started walking back wards. 

“Freeze!” They ordered.

“You’re welcome officers!” He said and shot a web at a high up wall behind him and pulled up with his hand still over his face. 

As soon as he reached the roof top he dissolved in laughter. It was a nice change. Maybe this Spider guy thing was good for him. He would need a better name, though.

Dark red blood dripping against pale skin. His own shaking hand holding the dagger. Scared brown eyes turning soft. “Peter?”

He woke in a start. His chest heaving and his eyes watering. His chest and face was covered in sweat as he ferociously wiped the tears from his eyes and swung his legs so they landed in the cool floor beside him.

He spent nearly five minute levelling his breathing again as he tried to do anything but think of the dream he just had.

He dragged his hands down his face with a groan and stalked to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

He sensed Wade sitting on one of the rickety stools next to the counter right away but didn’t do anything to address him. He poured himself some water and drank like there was no tomorrow until his mouth didn’t feel like the Sahara anymore.

“Hey bugsie” Wade yawned as he looked up from his own drink. A stupidly cheap whiskey.

“Hi” Peter said and sat next to him on the equally rickety stool, dropping his head to the counter with a sigh.

Wade patted his head “total mood man” he said helpfully. “Nightmares, insomniac, what’s your poison?” He said as he drummed his fingers against his chipped glass.

“None of your beeswax” Peter replied into the counter.

Wade laughed. 

Comfortable silence passed as Peter slowed the cool counter against his head to cool him down.

“Hey Wade?”

“Mhm”

“I think I need a mask”

“I know a guy” 

Chapter Text

"It's needs something more" Peter remarked, staring at the costume intently, even though the large white eyes seemed to be judging him silently. It gave him the heebie-jeebies, honestly. 

He tilted his head and took in the dark shades of blue and red and ran a hand over the material. Feeling each seam under his hand and dragging his nail over the black spiderweb design it adored.

"You should have gone for the pink one" Wade said begrudgingly where he gave the suit a slightly venomous glare. 

"I would be a laughing stock" Peter said, not tearing his eyes away from the suit even as he shook his head slightly in exasperation.

"You would be an inspiration. Nothing says fuck gender norms like a hot pink vigilante beating up punks" Wade said sadly, sighing at the missed opportunity.

Peter huffed a laugh "yeah what would they call me, high lighter man?" 

Wade said something else, probably something stupid, but Peter stopped listening instead he lifted a sharpie slightly over the centre of the torso and sketched a thin spider with long legs right in the centre. He pulled away his hand and took a step back, a small smile grew in his face. "Perfect" he praised.

"Eh it could do with a second coat" Wade said, also tilting his head to match Peter.

"No it-" Peter cut himself and sighed "yeah, yeah it does" he said and reluctantly filled in the patches. He hates when Wade is right, it feels like Opposite Day.

"Okay okay try it on!" Wade said, it felt a lot like when Wade made him watch 'say yes to the dress'. Peter still wants to gauge his eyes out from that experience, the only silver lining was Wades commentary. It was truly something.

"Alright..." Peter said uncertainly.

He quickly pulled on the suit in the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror above the sink.  The big white eyes covered his own tired ones in wide innocence, the tight fit was so different then his normal baggy clothes but it surprisingly didn't make him look like a skeleton and was definitely designed to make him look like his muscles were bigger then they were. He was a completely different person in the Spider-Man suit.

He didn't hate it, and that's the closest he's going to get. He looked like a real hero. No super hero wears boring things, Iron Man has his hot rod red and gold armour, Captain America has his costume that would be great camouflage if he was trying to blend in with an American flag. His was pretty normal in comparison. 

He self consciously left to show Wade who lasted two seconds before bursting into laughter, which turned into scary coughing, then back to laughing, then back to coughing then finally back to laughter until Peter had not one piece of self esteem left.

"Now imagine I was bright pink"  he suggested to prove his point.

Wade laughed for what felt like an hour, and Peter thought that maybe he shouldn't have suggested that.

"No, no!" Wade wheezed "I'm sorry it looks very fetching" he said through giggles.

"Fetching." Peter responded in disbelief.

"Mhm super sexy" he said then choked up laughing "I'm sorry! I just can't take the glare! The eyes are just so adorable"

"Adorable?! I can't be adorable if I'm trying to stop crime" Peter says in outrage.

"Maybe they will stop robbing a bank to coo and adore you" Wade suggested weekly. 

"You are an asshole"

"I know!" He wheezed.

Peter stalked back into the bathroom to change back into his normal clothes, secretly he was very happy with the suit though. It made him look like the real deal. Every super hero wore red, Iron Man, Captain America, even Black Widow had the red hourglass enigma like the real spider. He think he must have loved superheroes before the whole...getting kidnapped and being forced to be a Hydra  soldier thing...he remembered telling James about the time he had met Iron Man. Peter had stood foolishly in front of a murderous robot drone thingy, he wore an Iron Man mask that drew attention to him, he held up his hand in a sad imitation of Iron Man's repulsers as the drone started to aim. He had felt like a real hero then too, even though he was mere seconds away from his death. Iron Man had saved him and after that, everything had been Iron Man for him.

He recalled a blur of memories. An Iron Man poster being plastered to the wall, a small Iron Man figurine helping the other Avenger figurines fight whatever seemed fit (in this particular memory it was the vacuum cleaner), Iron Man always ended up being the one who saved the day because Peter favoured him, any kid would. He blinks and the memories become blurry and he struggles to scratch them down quickly, only to throw the busted pen against the wall when it didn't work and slam his fist against the table in frustration. 

In times like this he really, really wished that he had led a normal childhood. Or at least that he could remember the brief stint of childhood he did have.

Peter slammed the glass down on the counter, hard. He sighed, feeling his ears ring a few seconds before looking down at the shattered glass. Stupid emotions, he should just lock them up because they make him annoyingly destructive. Although, going out as Spider-Man had been helping him with that. Like a daily release of all his anger. He punches the bridge of his nose, making an even more aggressive sound of frustration as he realised his hand was bleeding and there was now blood smeared on his forehead.

He took a deep breath and locked all his thoughts away. He carefully everted his eyes away from where Wade was ditching him once again to hang with some girl called Vanessa who could actually stand his company. Peter's feeling grumpy today, he keeps on forgetting stuff and he got hit by a truck on patrol early in the morning while trying to stop some hijackers. He exhaled and made quick work of cleaning up the glass, tying a cloth around his bloody hand and cleaning down the countertop. 

"Hey Simba" Weasel said, sidling up next to Peter shooting a look at Wade and Vanessa with raised eyebrows before leaning and elbow on the newly cleaned countertop.

"Huh?" Peter pretty much grunts (James would be proud), he's in middle of staring down a group of girls who asked for cocktails. Cocktails. What group of girls come into a merc bar to order cocktails. If they think Peter's gonna start shaking up a raspberry daiquiri then they have another thing coming.

"Simba, y’know, like Lion King? Coz you got red stuff on your forehead- wait Peter is that blood?!" Weasel says in confusion, what did he think it was in the first place.

Peter wiped his sleeve across his forehead, slightly embarrassed and messed up his hair so it hung just above his eyebrows insecurely. He can almost feel Yelena's stare ' Why insecure Spider? No, they will be too busy not dying to judge you. Head up' except maybe with more swear words and insults.

"What the fuck is the Lion King" Peter said tiredly while he compromises with the group of girls. Except he doesn't actually compromise. He knows they scammed him, he would be daft not to realise 'you can leave out the umbrellas' is not a good compromise. They don't even have cocktail umbrellas in the bar.

Weasel gapes "did you just spawn on the face of this earth with no knowledge of the world?”

"Yeah pretty much, hey who's the girl with Wade?" Peter asks, Weasel would know her better.

"Vanessa, why? Are you jealous?" Weasel said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"No, and I know her name. Who is she?" Peter asks, emphasis on the who. Maybe he's to used to stalking people in depth.

Weasel makes a crumpled face in confusion. "Jesus I don't know! She can't be much good if she ended up here though." He said in shrug before swiping the tip that the girls left for Peter for himself and leaving. Peter yells after him but only gets laughter in return. He fest why people called him Weasel now.

Peter watches Vanessa and Wade laugh at something like it was the funniest thing in the world. Wade had this look in his eyes like she was the only thing that mattered to him, he was totally whipped.

Peter didn't like the weird feeling that crawled up inside him but he knew better to wait and find out. He pushed it down and decided that ticking time bomb was for future Peter.

"Hey Pete" Wade greeted when Peter woke up, bleary eyed and feeling like he was hit by another truck.

Wade had a coffee in front of him in a chipped mug, Peter could smell the heavy sent of whiskey mixed into it and realised Wade didn't look much better. His face was pale and his hands quivering but his eyes were bright. 

"Ughhhdhsh" Peter responds eloquently and pours himself some off brand fruit loops that were on the table. Peter hated them, they were too sweet and colourful but Wade only had off date pop tarts otherwise and he wasn't about to go hungry with his metabolism. He slams his head into the table then looks back up at Wade. "You look like shit, but weirdly happy"  Peter remarks.

"Thanks boo boo"

"You know what I meant, idiot" Peter said, he didn't hold much sympathy in the morning. Or ever.

"Yeah yeah I know. I must have a cold or something. I feel tired for like once in my life and no Irish coffee can save me" Wade says, looking genuinely scared.

"Jesus, let me call Logan. Maybe he's seen some flying pigs" Peter mumbled through a mouthful of dry fruit loops. Peter doesn't trust Wades milk but he's not going to complain since he's essentially free loading off him.

"Har har, but I've got good news"

"Hence the horrifying smile?" 

"Yeah. Vanessa thinks we should move in together. So, you have the place to yourself I guess" Wade says nonchalantly as if he hadn't just dropped a fucking nuclear bomb on him.

Peter spits out his cereal "What are you fucking serious, moving a bit fast aren't you?" He says in disbelief, and that stupid feeling creeps up on him again. They’ve been hanging out a lot for the last couple of weeks but damn.

"Yeah well. Figured it would be easier since I'm with her so often. And I assume you don't wanna here us bone so I can't move in here" Wade said like he was the height of logicality 

"Gross" Peter grimaces "no wait- Wade I can't just let you pay rent with your death money. Just don't move out. I'll wear ear plugs" Peter pleads.

"I'll still see you Peter" Wade said.

"That's not-" Peter cuts himself off. Because Wade is right, that's Peter's problem with all of this. He won't wake up to Wade’s stupid nicknames. Or watch golden girls with Wade in the evening. They won't order in dodgy Thai food from the place across the road  and he won't fall asleep with Wade’s snoring annoying him all night. Don't leave that stupid voice says again and Peter almost punches something because he hates that stupid voice in his head. It's like he passed some imaginary line in his mind between crazy and super crazy and that voice was there to haunt him about it. You said you wouldn't leave. Get a grip Peter he's moving out not dying like the rest.

"Fine. But I'm paying rent" Peter said firmly.

"Peter-"

"Nope." He definitely can't afford rent long term once his savings dwindle but it will do for now.

"You can't afford rent with your metabolism" Wade said with a sigh, he hates being the responsible one.

"I'll get a second job" Peter said.

"Where?" Wade said unbelievably.

"There was an add. In the Daily Bugle. No one can get clear photos of Spider-Man. I have a camera, and I have Spider-Man sooo" Peter trails off. He hates the idea but his metabolism is truly something.

"The Daily Bugle hates Spider-Man" Wade groans.

"Atleast I'll look fetching in the cover while they throw insults and accusations at me" Peter says in faux enthusiasm.

Wade levels him with a glare.

"Fine but if you need any-"

"I don't need your dirty money, Wilson" Peter says jokingly.

"Alright Matilda don't get your pigtails in a twist" Wade said, an easy smile growing now that he doesn't need to worry anymore.

"You know I don't get that!" Peter deadpans.

"Movie night! Matilda time!" Wade said, jumping from his seat and heading for the microwave popcorn. It wasn't even night time, it was the morning and Peter was meant to be at the bar in an hour. He let himself indulge in Wade’s stupid company while it lasted though. Couldn't Hydra have done him a solid and erased his emotions too?

Peter still saw Wade often enough. He saw him at the bar, and when he visited their apartment, a few times he saw him on patrol and threatened a few times to beat him up if he killed people. It never worked.

Peter struggled to ration his money but he was handling it day by day. Plus, sometimes if he got to beat up a criminal who was especially bad so he could steal their money. It's a doggy dog world, they won't need it in jail anyway.

Wade’s cold was hanging on tight and Peter and Vanessa bonded over silent mutual concern. It was weird to see Wade who was usually so unbreakable and confident...so tired looking. 

Peter kept a happy face on for him and then went on patrol to punch the living daylights out of some criminals. Therapeutic. He bonded heavily with Vanessa over worrying for Wade in secret though. He was making a name for himself but he hasn't resorted to selling pictures of Spider-Man to the Bugle yet so he is only a bit of a queens myth currently. It's better that way, surprise is a big advantage.

Life's not going too bad. He's coping, if not feeling a bit lost. His nightmares stay consistently horrible but he's getting better at handling them. But yet he feels like he’s just wandering. He doesn’t have any real purpose and without Wade being his anchor he’s drifting. Right now, the only thing keeping him sane is Spider-Man.

It only worsens from there. Life seemed to give up on letting Peter get back onto his feet and instead kicked him back down. A frantic phone call from Vanessa drags Peter over to their shared apartment in curiosity. She blubbered on the phone so much he couldn't comprehend what Vanessa was trying to say. He was always better at communicating with Wade than with most people, let alone blubbering girlfriends.

He swung to the dingy apartment in the slightly nicer part of town while worse case scenarios bounced around his brain. He skidded to a stop on the roof and ran down the stairs to their apartment. 

Barging in through the unlocked door, he froze in place. Wade sat in the edge of the couch, looking as relaxed as ever as Vanessa paced around the kitchen. This seems very anticlimactic.

”uhm? What’s up?” He asked awkwardly, sending a confused look to Wade. 

“well, I got some bad news” he said casually, throwing his feet up on the table as he did.

Chapter Text

Wade was lounging on the bed casually.

He rolls his eyes when Peter bursts through the door, panting and out of breath.

"What the fuck man?! I thought someone died" Peter wheezed, from the door way. Feeling his anxiety slowly leave and petty irritation taking over.

"Not yet" Wade smirked. Eyes glinting but face not quite pulling into that usual endearing expression.

"Are you threatening me, Wilson?" Peter mocked while he shucks off his second hand coat he bought in some thrift store, it was getting cold.

"Nah not so much" he said and sends a ready made paper airplane soaring at him with his usual annoying accuracy so that it hits him in the nose. Peter blinks and catches the plane before it nosedives and unfolds it to see a pamphlet.

"Wade what the shit fucker?" He said (not screamed, he's much to mature for that. No he merely raised his voice very high)

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Wade said, hoping Peter will take the bait so they could steer clear of emotion town. Full steam ahead into repressing city please.

"Is this for real? Do you actually-? Also hey fuck you mama Parker is rolling in her grave 'cause of you" Peter said in one whole breath.

Wade giggles.

"WADE." Peter barks "do you-?"

"The doc says I have stage four. El cancer, if you're Spanish" Wade said in a sulk. Like a kid who isn't allowed candy before dinner instead of a man who is terminally ill.

Peter squints, furrows his eyebrows, paces, bites his cheek, aggressively rubs the back of his neck, rocks back and forth on his feet, scrunched his nose-

"Stop it you're freaking me out!"

"You should be freaked out you have cancer!" Peter’s voice breaks and he crinkles his face up until he knows he isn’t going to cry. Wade would mock him.

Peter stared him down. Wade looks downright sad. 

Peter inhaled deeply and breathes out again.

"I'm sorry" he says "okay okay, it's fine you will be okay. You're gonna be so okay that in a few years you're gonna be on one of those commercials or giving a talk on how you survived and if we have to send you to Spain to help you then so be it I will learn Spanish. For you or whatever. No biggie. This like isn't even that bad. Remember that time when an evil organisation tried to turn you into an over powered killing bot with no mind and no mouth and we had to flee and we had this big adventure? We can fight cancer we can, we can-"

"Peter buddy breathe you gotta breathe or else we will both die and I'm not letting Weasel get diddly squat from our deaths" Wade said casually.

"How are you so calm?! Wait did weasel bet on me for the deadpool? That bastard I'm going to kill him!" Peter said, once again pacing back and forth like he was trying to get ten thousand steps in.

"I was freaked out a little when I fainted I guess?" He said easily as he wriggled around on the bed looking unbothered but at the same time...

Well Peter didn't know. He was good at reading people but sometimes the longer you know someone the harder they become to read. Since he knew more about Wade there was more options as to what he was think that Peter knew about and he can't just make a quick judgement. From the get go Peter knew that Wade liked to handle things with an unnecessary amount of inappropriate and robust humour, that was easy to figure out purely because no one ends up where Wade had ended up without a boatload of emotional baggage. Peter was willing to look over the fact that Wade was clearly, and had been for a very long time, squashing down his feelings and replacing it with humour purely because he didn't really care too much. Everyone had there one way to cope and humour is far from the worst mechanism Peter has seen and Peter even started doing the same instead of spiralling every night. 

Wade during the last few weeks wasn't as Wade like as usual. Peter had put it down to the fact that he hadn't seen him as much due to him moving in with Vanessa but even before that Wade had begun sleeping even worse and never eating...just drinking. He looked constantly tired and Peter knew he should've copped on sooner but so much has been going on. Ned York is such a big change and he is constantly overwhelmed with the threat of knowing Hydra could come at any second to take him away has put him on edge. He's been having more nightmares and he can't sleep in the nice soft bed because he's so used to rock hard mattresses, he's constantly freaking out for no reason and spiralling just because he sees someone who looks slightly like one of the soldiers or by someone speaking Russian on the street.

Wade had been so good to him...gave him shelter, food, company and Peter had been difficult to say the least. Wade deserved Vanessa, someone who understood him perfectly. Then he had to be hit with cancer of all things. Something that Wade couldn't fight with his katanas or shoot with his sniper.

"did you say YOU FAINTED?!" Peter said, backtracking on his thoughts to actually process what Wade said.

"Peter, dude, youngling, kiddo, childer, padawan-"

"Padawan? Dude I'm not your apprentice if anything you’re the sidekick. I'm like the main character- I have like all the protagonist problems" Peter said.

"YOU WATCHED STARWARS!!" Wade screamed happily.

"Yep now lets back track to where you fainted Wilson" Peter said accusingly.

"Kid I get stabbed or violently maimed like five times a week fainting is nothing" Wade said as if that was reassuring.

"Yeah but that's a self preservation issue we know why that's happening" 

"We know why I fainted too. Or did I forget to tell you about the cancer"

"Ugh don't remind me"

"Sorry I'll grow some tumours someplace else"

A terrible silence took over the room as Peter breathes in and out rapidly.

Then Wade started to laugh and Peter went to look up at him in confusion before he realised he was laughing hysterically himself and couldn't stop until there were tears in his eyes and he was clutching his stomach.

"Jesus Wilson, of course you got fucking cancer after all this" Peter wheezed and flopped back onto the comfy double bed Wade was giggling on.

"Nah no way am I about to end the tales of Wade Winston Wilson and Peter Baby boy Parker"

"Baby boy is not my middle name"

"You said you didn't know your middle name"

"Yeah, I don't"

"So theoretically it could be baby boy"

"Oh fuck off Wilson"

Peter sighed and stared at the ceiling. "Wade I swear to god if you die on me I will kill you" 

Wade snorts "I'd like to see you try"

…

"'Ness seems pretty upset" Peter says, not really knowing why.

"Yeah she's a worrier. I wouldn't have even gone to the doctors if it weren't for her. They freak me out and never laugh at my 'what's up doc ?' jokes. Then afterwards she got all the pamphlets and started looking up all the best places to go and whatnot. Don't get me wrong I want to live but... I don't want her to spend all this time on a lost cause" Wade says with his voice muffled in the pillow.

It's rare for Wade to open up like that.

"You're not a lost cause Wilson. You'll get through this Vanessa and I will make sure of it"

Wade disappeared a few weeks later with no word to anyone.

It's freezing cold. When he breathes out he can see his breath and his hands have gone a purple blue colour. He shivers but he's not sure if that's just down to the cold. He's been staring into the skyline of New York for...close to four hours now. 

It had all been going so well. They had everything planned out, well Vanessa and he had, Wades self preservation skills are shockingly low and as much as he wanted to stay he never showed the gusto or determination to mirror theirs. Not in a selfish careless way but more so that he knew more than them. Perhaps that's why after a late night at Weasel’s bar he never went home.

Peter kind of wanted to punch him after seeing Vanessa's worried face drop when Peter had told her he hadn't seen him but then her face morphed and he realised Vanessa is very much capable of doing that herself. If Wade ever comes home, that is.

Peter thought that the pain would numb, seeing as this happened to him so often. But all he felt on the freezing cold rooftop, covered from head to toe in careless injuries after a reckless patrol filled with...a lot of violence, all he could feel was this sense of dreadful guilt.

Wade and he had stuck with each other through thick and thin, normally it was Peter's fucked up life they had to deal with but now it was Peter's turn to show him how much he cared. How much he was willing to put on the line for Wade. He had plans he had ideas, he had searched for days and days to find the best possible route to go about this, as far as Peter was concerned, he would create a cure for cancer before the fucked up world could pry Wade from him. Of course that's not what Wade wanted, or needed. That was evident enough that it took Peter until Vanessa asked him to realise Wade was gone. He had been to focussed on how to fix it that he didn't take his nose out of his research to actually spend time with Wade and make sure he was okay. Or the Wade equivalent to okay.

Was it his fault Wade left?

Was it his fault everyone left?

He seemed to be the common denominator in the situation and he had realised pretty early on that anyone he cared about normally ended up dead. Which, he had warned Wade about but well, Wilson never really was one for rules.

All this thinking makes him feel things which he hates so much. The tears seem to freeze in his eyes before they can fall and he's almost grateful for it. He has no place to be sad about this. He's been sitting up here moping when he should be helping Vanessa, or working, or just doing anything somewhat productive but he can't move. Physically he knows he hasn't frozen despite the temperature but he still can't move. He's destined to sit with his legs dangling over the roof top, clutching his sore ribs and twitching his cold nose every few minutes forever. Frozen tears begging to fall and jerky shivers from uneven breathing he can't seem to fix. Frustration welling in the back of his brain and a bone dry clogged throat.  He doesn't know how to move forward. He doesn't know if he deserves to.

His body knows his limits. That's why he jerks awake as the sun peeks out shyly from beneath the horizon. He's two seconds away from freezing to the ground and frost is tangled in his hair. He's painfully numb all over and he stiffly lowers himself down the building, ducking beneath the steps of the fire escape and hopping over the railings each time he goes down a level.

Shoving his hands in his pockets to atleast preserve what minuscule bit of warmth he was left, he walks down the busy early morning streets letting his spidey sense guide him through the crowds. 

He reached the apparent not really knowing how. Maybe it’s because he was no where left to go. With shaking hands he grabs the useless key from his pocket. Useless for two reasons 1) even when the door is locked, it’s very, very easy to break in still 2) the place was a pile of junk no one would want to break in. 

Although…Peter’s senses tingles and when he hones in on his hearing he can just about make out the sound of careful slow breathing and instead of the smell of gunpowder residue he is familiar with he catches a scent of chemicals that can only mean that his sense is tingling from a tranquilliser gun that is trained to the door.

Enabling his web shooters in one hand and slipping a knife from his belt with the other he creeps forward. 

They want him alive, that much is clear. Hydra? Maybe? But the thump of their heart doesn’t sound familiar and would Hydra risk a soldier for the slim chance that Peter wasn’t distracted and would open the door without knowing of the person ready on the other side? Must it be someone who doesn’t know the extent of his enhancements and training? Therefore Hydra would be ruled out due to the fact they gave him both of which. Or maybe it’s an elaborate scheme where this is only a distraction and a further squad would attack while he’s confident, which brings Hydra back into the equation.

And while this runs through his head in a matter of seconds, he’s come to the conclusion that he simply does not care. Something in him even wants it to be Hydra. Wants to get revenge for the years of enslavement, torture and insanity he had to endure. He wants to let loose the anger brewing inside him for Cancer and the cruel way the universe works and for Wade leaving him but more so for himself, for letting Wade leave. He wants to take it out on something more than just a weak punching bag, he wants it to feel the pain he feels, feel the regret and guilt that’s swarming in his head, he wants them to beg for mercy knowing that there is no reason for doing so despite idealistic and fake hope. 

The gun clatters to the ground in a matter of seconds, the butt of his knife having sent it flying to the floor. He sends a web with quick instincts towards the man’s hand, that went to reach for a more lethally loaded gun in his trench coat.

Peter takes a deep breath and expels any of the visible hurt from his face. Replacing it with fake arrogance.

He knows that face. How could he not? He’s only hacked into his system a million times. It’s practically the news for him.

“You’re lucky I haven’t killed you, Director” Peter remarks keeping his fingers firmly placed on the trigger of his web shooters. 

“I have a team watching that wouldn’t let that happen” Director Fury says cockily.

“Tell Barton that if I can dodge a bullet, I can dodge an arrow” Peter counters, reeling as Fury covers the split second of surprise that glints in his singular eye well, but not well enough.

“So you’re the mole, I had an inkling it was you breaking in. You left quite a few traces behind you” 

“They were to alert you on how bad your security network is”

Fury hums softly.

“Why are you here” Peter says, straightforwardly.

“I like to keep track of mutants-“ Peter shudders at the word, never had he experienced anything good with that word involved “-in my city, especially Hydra trained, underaged vigilante ‘do-gooders’, who are friends with a boat load of mercenaries” Fury says, eye staring straight into Peter’s soul like it had personally offended him.

“You’ve done your research” Peter says from where he leans against the counter.

Fury doesn’t take his eye off of him.

Peter pushes himself off the counter “but I’d advise you to take that research and shove it up your ass. You do not come into my home and tell me what I am. Be grateful that I am only an ‘underaged vigilante do-gooder’ because you do not-“ he says advancing towards the man “want me as your enemy” he says “Director” he adds, sweetly.

“As…intimidating…as that was Spider-Man, I can’t let a potential treat roam around unsupervised” he said lamely.

Peter scoffs “You aren’t giving me a super baby sitter Fury, leave my apartment before I make you”

“Work on missions with my squad”

“Your squad? Fury, your squad are the fucking Avengers like shit are they going to let me on their team” Peter said in outrage.

You killed their friend. They will know who you are they will be angry. He deserves it.

“It’s not their choice. And perhaps that was bad phrasing. You could accompany them on low level missions. I’m not asking you to reveal your identity to them. But I would like to keep an eye on you. Ensure that you aren’t dangerous” Fury explained calmly.

“No.”

“No?” 

…

“I will report that a fifteen year old is living alone and sic CPS on you”

“I lived in a hydra base, I can handle CPS”

Fury sighs “Kid, you help us with some low level stuff and stay out of trouble, in return I offer you protection from Hydra hell I can even send you to Wakanda to get that stuff out of you brain like Barnes”

Peter watches Fury closely. Seeing if he can senses any hate. Any pain. Was he close to Barnes? Did he know him well. Did James get treatment before…he died. Before you killed him. His stomach flips.

No, Peter decides there. He works better alone. Less room for casualties. Less deaths. Less problems, less feelings. Less everything Peter hates.

“Get out of my apartment, Fury”

“I’m not leaving a potential threat unsupervised in an apartment under the name of a dead man” he said, without the fake oozing compromise voice he had on before. No he was making it clear Peter had no choice.  

Potential threat. Weapon. Asset. 

“Wade’s not dead” Peter said defensively, angrily.

“Then where is he?” 

“You don’t do this Fury. You don’t. I’m not willing to talk to you and I’ve made that clear. Don’t speak to me of my best friend that I’ve lost HOURS ago as a means of manipulation. Because I am a lot smarter than you. That was made clear when you refused to leave my apartment the first time I asked” Peter growled. He blinked and he hastily retracted. He barely noticed advancing. He didn’t realise he had brought a knife to the man’s neck not until Fury’s muttering into his earpiece became louder and instead of seeing Fury he saw James beneath him, knife to his neck. Then he saw Wade. He stepped back.

He was a person. He used to have friends, family he used to have people who cared and he refused to go back to cold white rooms and people telling him what to do. 

But he killed James. He might as well have killed Wade. His parents left a long time ago. He had no one. That’s probably how it should be. He’s a curse to everyone he’s close with. Since he can’t eliminate himself he must must eliminate the second option. He must not work with anyone. 

Yet, he will not work for anyone either.

Peter learned a long time ago from an infrequently wise guy that sometimes you have to make your own options, when the others aren’t what you want.

“Get out of my apartment before I call the guards because of breaking and entering.” Peter said.

Fury sighs, a little shaken “just...think on it kid”

He leaves and Peter collapses on the couch. He turns on golden girls and sits stiffly on the couch. He misses Wade but refuses to think about it anymore. He wonders if he made the right decision.

He wonders if he has ever made the right decision.

Chapter Text

He sits.

Legs crossed back straight. Fingers fiddling with the overgrown blades of grass that surrounded him. He's been thinking too much lately, perhaps more than what was healthy. However as he sat in a place where dead loved ones were mourned staring at the empty spaces between grave stones he couldn't stop his mind from wandering. Of course, Wade never had a funeral, he wasn't even technically dead, just missing. Something in Peter knew Wade wouldn't just leave without a good reason. The only hard part about that is, what did Wade consider a good reason? 

Jame's had technically died back during World War 2. So Peter didn't have a space to mourn him either. Maybe it was for the best because he wouldn't have been able to handle the crushing guilt. The only thing that kept him somewhat sane throughout Hydra was James and he killed him- no that spiral is a dangerous one. He decided not to go there.

He didn't know what to do with himself. Honestly, he wanted to go out there and kill every living thing that so much as breathed in his direction right now. He knew he would despise himself later if he went out as Spider-Man and lost control though so he's just been sitting alone. Waiting. Like he had waited for Jams to come back when he never did. He knew it was pointless yet he couldn't help but watch the door handle every night. Hoping that it would turn and Wade’s annoying face would make an appearance. 

He picked at the weeds in the grass. Daisys and dandelions hid between the green, some squashed from the weather or foot prints but still beautiful in their crushed state. Weeds, they were classified as. Which didn't seem very fair. Their vibrant yellows and soft petals brightened up the otherwise dismal area.

He heard a crunch. The sound of heavy boots on the frosty grass. Loud enough to hear yet careful enough not to startle. Deliberate, the owner was making their presence known.

Peter couldn't even turn his head. He hoped it wasn't going to end in a fight. He just wanted to be left alone.

The heavy boots stopped beside him. He recognised who it was, of course he did. He felt a bit guilty when he sensed the distinct canine scent mixed with cheap hair gel and expensive cigars. He recognised the way he walked, and the way he breathed, slow but heavy. He recognised the familiar grumble when he fell into a sitting position like Peter.

He said nothing for a while and Peter didn't look over to him.

Logan sighed next to him. "I heard about Wilson" he said gruffly.

Peter surprised himself with a dry laugh. He didn't know how to respond so he Lowered his shaking shoulders so his head rested in his own lap.

"Wades a cockroach, don't think for a second he's not coming back, kid" Logan remarked. "It's not easy to kill a guy like him" 

"Cancer did a pretty good job of it" he said muffled. Then he finally looked up. To see Logan's eyes looking back at him with a mix of uncomfortable concern. "Why are you here?"

"I told you I'd track you down if you didn't visit" he reminded.

"Busy" was Peter's only response.

Logan looked around, hard eyes relaxing "yeah I can see that"

Peter couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. It was always best to bet for sarcastic when dealing with wolverine though.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help after the whole....thing" Peter said, pivoting away from his own problems.

Logan waited a moment before replying. "Stryker...had something on you, didn't he?" He said, so easily bring it back to one of Peter's many problems.

"Yes. Still does."

Logan sighed and looked around. He looked Peter up and down. "Come back with me. It's not safe here, bub. They are going to find you and Wades not here to protect-"

"I don't need protection." Peter snapped. 

"No" Wolverine laughed. "No you don't. You do need someone though. You'd be happier, and no one could find you at the school. You'd be surrounded by people like you" Logan explained. Like he was trying to sell something.

"I don't need anyone"

"Peter." He said disappointed.

"Logan." He mocked with the same tone.

"If Hydra find you..."

"They will be sorry they even looked" Peter growled.

"You can't fight them all, Pete" he said in exasperation.

"I'm tired of running" Peter said, clenching his hand in the grass. Pulling up some of the dirt.

"You wouldn't need to run if you came with me" Logan said earnestly. 

"I can protect the city and I can protect myself. I'm not being driven out of my home by these people who have ruined my life" Peter ranted.

"But-"

"No."

Silence for another uncomfortable moment.

"Can I stay here for a while then?" He asked.

"I don't need protection"

"I know. I'm just a friend needing a place to crash"

Peter grumbled. "Yeah fine" he relented eventually.

Wade

He could handle it. That doesn't mean he doesn't regret it, but he can handle it. 

He thought he was doing everybody a favour but in hindsight following a guy just because he had a suit, a business card and said everything Wade wanted him to say, was very stupid. 

He was really feeling the consequences of his decisions now. Why did he have to listen to guys in mercenary bars.

It started off just plain old punching and torture. He could handle that. He relished in the way his tormentors grimaced when he made an inappropriate joke while his ribs were burning and his wrists were on fire from where they were restrained.

 ("Oooo kinky" he said with a giggle. The masked man, yes they wore masks like what even? Pulled his hands away from his neck so that Wade had a chance to gulp some air in. They laughed, remarking on how Wade’s humour wouldn't last. Wade was willing to make some bets)

They did amp it up after that. Wade understood what they were doing to a certain degree. They were trying to make him into a mutant. Something about just putting Wade in a load of pain until he became a mutant or just died. Then they would probably use him just like how Hydra had planned. Peter had saved him from it and he had walked right back into it. 

It was switched to ice baths overnight where he had to hide his nose sniffling for his dignity that he didn't have much of anyway. Since that didn't work it was electric shocks. Those hurt. Everything hurt but he could handle it.

When his skin started to burn and his eyes started to feel like fire in his sockets he started to wish that he had stayed and let the kid run himself into the ground trying to save him. He didn't want to think what Ness and Peter were thinking now though. Thankfully the pain was a pretty good distraction.

This British guy, yes he was getting tortured by a British guy. What did he do to deserve this? Anyways, this British guy with his pretentious accent that said his name was 'Ajax' (such bullshit by the way) was keen on being as irritating as possible.

"We have another talker" he said after Wades amazing joke. Well he more so said 'we ave anotha tawku'. 

"I'm just excited for my first day at superhero camp" Wade said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Shut the fuck up" the girl one said. Angel or something (also complete bullshit he bet her same was like Amy or something). She put a gag on him, and oh he could make so much jokes if he could just speak! That...was probably the point of it.

That's when Ajax introduced himself. He shone a light in Wades eyes that made his head spin. "I manage this workshop" he said. 

He started villain monologging. Wade would be lying if he said he didn't doze off for a little bit.

He injected him with some bullshit serum which would activate the mutant gene or something once he was used as a punching bag for long enough.

It kinda hurt. Not really. 'Ajax' was talking bout his own experience which, booorringg. So he started to squirm and groan for shits and giggles until Amy (yeah he's gonna call her Amy fuck her) took out the cloth from his mouth.

"Thank you. Thank you" he said breathlessly. He looked Ajax in. The eye "you have something in your teeth" he said "right in the middle there just I don't know romaine lettuce or something"

Ajax, to Wades glee, actually went to look in the mirror.

"It's been bothering me for a long time" he mumbled as Ajax bared his teeth to inspect them.

"Ha! Made ya look" he laughed "hey is Ajax your actual name because it sounds suspiciously made up?" He said, curiosity getting the better of him. Plus he likes to antagonise.

"What is it really, Kevin? Bruce? Scott? Mitch? The Rickster?" then with an exaggerated British accent "is it Basil Fawlty?" 

"Joke away, your humour won’t last long here" he said. He sounded like an off brand Batman with his voice. If Alfred became Batman because he's British. Except Alfred is cool. 'Ajax' is not.

He says some other villain stuff then leaves him alone with the girl.

"Oh come on. You're gonna leave me all alone here with less angry Rosie O Donnell?"

Ow punch. She defiantly has super strength. He blacks out after that, he thinks.

Anyways back to the torture. Where did we get to? The shocking. That hurt like a bitch he thought. They also dunked him in some slime stuff that got stuck up his nose which he isn't particularly happy about.

He’s not particularly happy about anything here.

He talks to another guy like him. Though a plastic sheet wall. He was going through the same stuff as Wade he could here it in his voice. They chat while he  waits for the next onslaught of pain he tries to hide with quips.

It starts off normal. Talking about their bucket list they didn't get to complete. Most of it nice, light and easy. What celebrities they would bang shit like that the other guy’s mainly consists of public nudity. You go brother. 

Then he goes and ruins it by saying "making banana pancakes for my children" 

Goddamn.

"You have kids?"

"Yeah, you don't I'm guessing"

He thinks of Peter and frowns "younger brother more like. He spends more time Protecting me, but I fucked it all up again" he laughed coarsely, he doesn't even care that he's telling this guy about one of the things he keeps the most closely guarded but he doesn't even care. They're probably going to die anyway.

"Same with my daughter" he said.

Holy shit.

"Wife?" 

"Girlfriend. Vanessa. I want to see Vanessa-"

Then while he thinks out loud about the only women that would put up with him he gets interrupted.

"Lovely, I don't know about anyone else but I'm touched" and the douche returns! 

He starts talking down to his new bestie. Cunningham. Wade respects a guy who sticks with his name even if it is Cunningham, Jesus. 

"Don't take any shit from him Cunningham, how tough can he be...with a name like Francis" he smirks. Bringing out the big guns.

"Francis?" Sweet sweet innocent Cunningham asks.

"That's his legal name" Wade says close to laughter. "He-he got Ajax from the dish soap" he wheezed. Partially from laughter partially from the painnnnn yuck.

"F R A N C I- " he chants like a cheerleader.

Francis goes into his little cubical space with a look of thunder on his face.

"-oops, snagged the dry cleaning tag off your lab coat.  FYI I could probably get you a superhero discount"

"Why don't you do us all a favour and shut up, or we will sew your pretty mouth shut" he said.

And oh is that flash back. Whew. Peter will kill him if he gets out of this alive.

"Believe it or not, you're not the first person to threaten that"

Peter 

"You can sleep on the couch. Or I think there's a busted old kennel out back if you wanna stick with the canine side" Peter said as he jammed the key in the lock, then kicked the busted door open to the lovely apartment. Truth be told he hasn't been in here in ages. It still smelled like Wades favourite cereal, some off brand Swedish frosted flakes.

"I miss when you were too shy to be sarcastic" Logan grumbled but sat on the lumpy couch.

"I recall my first words to you were "Call me bub again and I'll make sure you can't speak"" Peter reminded dryly.

"A threat you didn't follow through with...bub" Logan smiled.

"I'd be careful the last guy here barely made it out alive" Peter said grumbled.

Logan made a face of confusion "Wilson?"

Peter faltered "last two guys" he corrected. "Director of SHIELD thought he ought to take care of a 'potential threat'" Peter said laced with venom.

"He said it like that?" Logan asked with eyebrows raised. 

"Yup" he said, then with a stiff deep voice mocked "I can't leave a potential threat unsupervised" he cleared his throat and started again "I will call CPS blah blah bleh" 

"And he's still walking?" Logan said incredulously.

"Don't make me regret my decisions Logan, I didn't have the energy for murder." Peter rolled his eyes. Logan knows him well enough to know Peter wouldn't do that. Maybe break a bone or two but murder isn't really his thing.

"What did you do about it?"

"I was actually very civil thank you very much. Especially since it was right after…well you know” Peter said “only threatened to maim him a couple times, I told him how shit the security on the SHIELD data base was and then said I would call the cops on him for breaking and entering”

Logan starts laughing “the cops? On the Director of SHIELD, and he actually left?” 

“I think Trevor was more the reason he left” Peter said with a shrug.

“Who’s Trevor?” Logan asked suspiciously.

Peter yanked the throwing knife from his boot “Trevor” he said tossing it over to Logan who caught it easily.

He raised an unamused eyebrow “you named your knife? And of all names you called it Trevor” 

“Problem wolf man?- ow what the fuck?!” he said and slammed his hands over his ears. Loud beeping could still be heard only slightly muffled by he cupped hands. 

Logan, slightly less effected by the loud noise then Peter’s super senses was, found the source to be Peter banjaxed computer he made out of junk and pure luck.

“It’s just showing a map and a little red marker” he said loudly.

Peter’s eyes widen and he shouts “do Control W” Peter thought back. He had made that command ages ago in case Wade was- no it can’t be.

Since Logan was apparently a prehistoric dinosaur who can’t control computers Peter had to push him out of the way and do it himself.

The blissful silence when the alarm stops was only there for a second before his mind started screaming.

“What was that?” Logan asked.

“I made a tracker for Wade ages ago that would only turn on when his heartbeat went really fast but since  he’s always in mortal peril it seems it was always going off so I changed it to his heart beat going really really really slow. Like practically death slow just to get rid of the constant noise” he explained with his heart dropping. Without realising he had held out a little hope that Wade was alive but now…now he knew for sure. He clicked into the tracker. Maybe they could at least find a body. He wanted to puke.

“Oh…Peter I’m sorry” Logan said.

“Wait shut up for a second” Peter said. Eyes scanning the screen. His heart rate was slow. But it wasn’t dropping. Somehow Wade was living right at the brink of death.

“Peter, look I know this is hard..but you gotta talk about these things to make it er better” Logan was still going even though he was shit at emotions while Peter was grabbing his webshooters and gear.

“He’s a alive”

“What?”

“I don’t know how but he’s alive” Peter exclaimed and dragged Logan out the door.

“Mother fucking cock roach” 

Chapter Text

Long empty hallways echoing with mysterious hurried steps haunts his unconscious mind. A sense of urgency fills him that his muffled brain doesn't understand. Hardened mud flakes off worn combat boots and dirty fingernails drum against torn pants. His arms are suddenly clamped to his sides and his feet to the floor, restraining him to take a curled up position that his ruined body wants to uptake only to protect himself from the inevitable. Unforgettable words are spoken with the same overjoyed malicious they were the first time and his mind loses itself unwillingly.

Without his knowing his position changed, he could breathe but wished suddenly he couldn't. The air was thick and the scent or blood surrounded him. The blood stuck in the wrinkles of his fingers that were holding a sickeningly familiar dagger.

"Peter?" The voice was gruff but soft. Unfamiliar yet so painfully familiar at the same time. He could feel the breath on his ear as he faltered. His knife not yet deep enough to properly hurt.

"Peter" "Peter"

"PETER" 

He startled awake. Hands gripping to anything he could. He coughed until his throat was raw and pulled at his too tight t-shrit, feeling his heart thump in his chest.

When had he fallen asleep? It had seemed like only two seconds ago that he sprinted into Logan’s beat up truck. Now instead of sky scrapers and traffic it was dead plants and empty roads.

He groaned and stretched. Not used to be sleeping in such a position. He normally slept on his left side so his right arm didn't get stiff. He instinctively didn't sleep on his back, years of punishments that disallowed him to not be in agony if he slept in such a position, same to say for his front, he often had injured ribs from training sessions and it didn't do him good to sleep on them. He winced at the crick in his neck and wondered how he had come to fall asleep, he has adopted far to many issues not to be wary when letting his guard down so willingly.

"Peter, kid. We are almost there. Sure you are ready for this?" Logan asked ,breaking him free from his thoughts, eyes on the road but his voice showed his scepticism. He kept quickly side eyeing him. He obviously noticed his nightmare but thankfully thought better of addressing it. Instead he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel and sat a little more stiffly.

Peter remembered the urgency of the situation and cursed himself, even if the car ride couldn’t be quickened how could he rest when Wade was in such trouble? He checked the laptop where it displayed wades heartbeat and location again. He watched the beats per minute escalate.

It was moving differently now. Quick, really quick. Too quick.

"Faster" Peter ordered feeling dread creep up from inside him. Clawing at him. He hated its familiar ness. You would think it hurt less by now.

"What?" Logan asked dumbly.

"Drive faster!" He snapped in a shout.

Logan stepped down so the pedal hit the floor. The country roads through where the tracker was leading them were unoccupied and unused. Peter kept a steady eye on the heart monitor. Begging it not to droop to zero.

“..... We’re going to lower the oxygen concentration in the air to the exact point to where you feel like you're suffocating. If your brain waves slow, meaning you're about to pass out, then we will turn up the O2" 

Wade tracked him with his eyes. Francis (no way was he calling the dipshit Ajax) was twiddling with his pen, sitting with one leg over the other as if he was having a casual chat with an old friend. Wade missed...Wade missed his katanas. What he would give to slice the jackasses head off with one quick 'whish'. Or perhaps make it slower and more gruesome. Make him feel what Wade had to endure. Wade had a sneaky feeling this was about to be a whole lost worse. 

"If you're heart rate slows, meaning you're able to catch you're breathe, we will turn it back down. And that's where we will leave you. Right. There" he said, enunciating each annoying smug word. 

Wade sighed "and I thought you were dicks before"

He squirmed in his restraints. He didn't like this. Well he didn't mind restraints if- no Wade don't go down that road. The jackass is still monologuing. He felt sleepy. Booorring. When will these typical villains realise all they’re doing is wasting time. They aren’t fooling anyone with their forces deep voice and violent threats. If you’re going to do it, just do it!

"Y'know" he said pointing the pen at him accusingly with a fake sparkle in his eyes. "The funniest part is, you still think we are making you a superhero." pfft he's past that, he found that out after the sixth beating. The blood loss made his brain slow. Peter said it was always slow but considering he’s a fucking supercomputer everyone’s slow to him.

"you, a dishonourable discharge" boooo, he drove away in a stolen truck like a badass get your facts straight bitch. "Hip-deep in hookers" that made him think of Vanessa. Not in a bad way. She would take that as a compliment. He thinks. But he missed her, nearly as bad as his katanas. And the kid...what's his name Pedro? Yeah. He missed those guys. His brain was still playing 'womaniser' though and as much as he appreciated the free music he would like it to shut up.

"A nothing." 

Youch! Pulling out the real ones. He doesn't have quite the same delivery as his father after the cashier refused to let Wade buy cigarettes for him when he was eight. Maybe it was the Britishness. Or maybe not, Canadians are meant to be nice. His dad wasn't. Nice is over rated. Where were we?

"Little secret Wade" he was leaning in now. His breath smelled like cheese balls. Which both left him feeling nauseous, and worryingly, craving cheese balls. He's gone crazy. "This workshop doesn't make superheroes. We make superslaves" he said, all evil eyed and ghostlike. Like they were sitting around a campfire telling stories.

Wade internally groaned. Not again. He’s so over the superslave thing. That’s so last year.

"We're gonna fit you with a control quarter and auction you off to the highest bidder" he explained.

Oh that really sucks ass. Peter's gonna kill him. Like dig him up from his grave and kill him again. This is so gonna bite him in the ass.

He keeps blabbering on about all the shit they're gonna make him do. He totally sees what Peter's on about now. No control is fucking scary. Ohhh god why did he have to fuck it all up when life was going swell? He would've been fine if this happened when he was nineteen living on Weasel’s couch in the smelly pub. Having no purpose or ambition. Before he joined the army. Before he turned soft. Before a certain chickpea-pumpkinpie-baby-puppy-doe eyes- scruffy haired Pedro came into his life. Maybe it wasn't Pedro? Peter? Yes Pete. God his head hurt. He felt like passing out right now.

Anyway, bottom line. He had Peter, and Vanessa. Two of the best things ever. They have joined third place right below his katanas and chimichangas. A man has his priorities.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"Wade asked after Francis finished his psychopathic spiel. Seriously. Wade is concerned. Did he get dropped on his head as a baby? More than four and a half times at least, Wade estimates.

Francis stands up. "You're never going home after this" he said, then "there's a brave face" he mocked condescendingly. He goes to close the chamber. He’s restrained inside this clear tub with vents at the side. It feels like he’s in planet of the apes but 1968 version where they go to space in the little tubes. Except he will probably end up like the one woman who’s tube cracked and ends up looking like a dry old prune. His destiny was to be a prune oh- oh god!

"Wait. Wait!” He called urgently. Or at least as urgently as he could fake it.

He paused only slightly. Not completely closing the prune tube.

“You actually have something in your teeth now" Wade said like he was releasing a breath held in.

"Until the weekend" Francis responded agitatedly.

Wades mind short circuits. "Wait up. Weekend? Weekend?!" He said knocking at the tube weakly with his retrained dinosaur arms.

Francis twisted the dial.

And it's slow at first. Like a hand slowly growing more confident around his throat. Then it stays like that. He can barely breathe. It hurts. He wheezes.

It burns.

He gasps for air but only finds himself able to make dry groans as nothing comes. His head might as well be in outer space he is so light headed. And oh it burns. It hurts so much. Worse then he's ever felt.

He shakes with the pain so intense. Feeling his skin burn like every square inch of him has a hot red ended pocket rested upon it. 

At some point he starts screaming. He can't remember when he stopped.

Can he handle this?

The car skids to a stop. Peter barely waits for it to do so. Already opening the door as Logan puts pressure on the brake.

He sees the building. Red brick. Brocken windows. Could be mistaken as an abandoned factory if red and orange lively fire wasn't bursting out from every murky window.  

"Fucking hell" he breathed…was Wade In there?

"Language" Logan admonished, heading for the trunk to unload his weapons hurriedly.

Peter can feel the pressure of each and every knife on his body. His web shooters were filled with his remaining web fluid. (It was becoming a nuisance to find the chemicals) and he pulled up the tall scarf hanging loosely around his neck to protect him from the smoke as best as possible. It was no Spider-Man mask but it will do. 

Logan chucked him a gun. Peter caught it without looking and sent Logan an unimpressed look.

"I know you don't use guns, but just in case okay?" He said before Peter could criticise him, or atleast give him another look since they were low on time. Honestly he could probably breaks mama skull with one punch. He didn’t need a piece of metal. Plus they irked him, Hydra left him feeling weird around them. He kept it for Logan’s sake though, just to appease him.

Peter examined it in a quick half second glance. You can do that after years of Hydra training. It was small. A tactical pistol. Quicker fire rate than a normal one and had a magazine full with ammo. 

Logan, not normally a gun man himself, shouldered a scoped assault rifle as he walked up to the building.

Peter got to the door first. He squeezed the padlock and was confused when it didn't break immediately. He added a second hand to pull it apart but it didn't work.

"Huh" he said. "It must be adamentium" he said. His heart was hammering. He looked up to find a different way in. Every second was precious.

"Uh kid?" Logan reminded as he let his claws grow out. He swiped down only for it to clang loudly.

"Vibranium, then" Peter corrected, the only possible answer even if the metal was impossible to get. But nevertheless it would suprise him to find out these people bought from the black market. He  started scaling up the building to where he saw a window. The building was fitted out against the enhanced and mutants apparently. Interesting. He edged around the roasting fire and was happy for the scarf around his face to keep out the smoke.

Logan grumble at his failure to break the lock.

"I'll drop down and see if I can-" Peter started before he was interrupted.

Logan had already shredded the door off its hinges. Apparently the door wasn't vibranium too. Just the lock. 

Peter sighed. "Come on, we must hurry" he said to a smug Wolverine.

Logan went first, claws raised, Peter made sure no one came up behind them. He couldn't hear any heart beats. Unless Wade was too far away-

He smashed into Wolverines back abruptly.

"Dude?!" He whisper shouted while rubbing at his sore nose.

Logan didn't reply. He just kept staring in front of him.

Peter peeked around Logan’s massive frame that was blocking the view with a sick feeling and felt his stomach drop.

"Oh" the singular word felt like gravel in his throat.

Wade. It was Wade. His skin looked...burned? Peter couldn't explain it.

He wasn’t moving though. Mainly because he was skewered. For lack of better words. A metal bar running through his centre and unnaturally bent at the top. Someone did that on purpose then. Most likely enhanced or a mutant with super strength.

He made a meek sound before he could force it down and Logan used Peter’s shoulder to guide his face into his stomach. His flannel was soft and he was warm and as much as he would like to break down and cry he would not show emotions. He would not. He was trained better than this. He used to be Hydra. He shouldn’t be weak.

But…loosing another person for definite this time. It made something inside him churn. 

 
it felt the same as it always did, losing another person. Except now it was getting worse. He was more frustrated. Annoyed. Who decided, hey! Let’s fuck up this guys life by killing anyone he tries to like. Honestly at this stage he should just give up.

Anger brewed deep inside him like magma in the chamber of a volcano. Ready to burst out and cause mayhem.

He clenched his fists and pulled away from Logan "someone did this" he remarked "someone did this and they're going to pay"

"I will kill them"

He hasn’t killed since Hydra. Not since they finally escaped. Not that he didn’t think he escaped, no of course they are always hiding behind closed doors. Waiting to pop out like a skeleton in a closet. But still, he hasn’t. Not because it’s not right, but because he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t like to take something so rare from someone. No matter how atrocious the crime. If it’s really bad, they deserve to be beat up to shut and then thrown in jail. But he won’t kill them.

"Peter, buddy" Logan said, looking shocked, maybe from his threat, maybe from their friend (yes he was a friend, no matter how annoying) being impaled in front of him.

He placed a hand on his shoulder that Peter immediately shrugged off.

Peter approached the lifeless body. Placing two fingers on his pulse point.  Waiting for the inevitable answer. His skin was still warm. Could be because of the fire. Could be because this was, very, very recent. 

The fire had hit this are the worst. Most likely an explosion of some kind. If surrounded them in a threatening circle.

His head was swimming. He didn't know how to feel. After so many hours he felt he needed to process this all over again.

How dare someone take Wade. How dare someone take his Wade? 

They are going to-

A sharp inhale to his right sounded and suddenly the familiar thump of a heart beat he is well accustomed to started to find its rhythm again.

what.

“Oh hey Pete” Wade Fucking Wilson said as if he wasn’t a kebab with a horror movie face. He looked up at Peter with a pained grin.

Peter stared at him.

“Youch” Wade grumbled and slid up and off the bended pipe like he was a coloured wooden block in those kids toys that doctors always have so the children stay distracted as they foot the parent the ginormous pill.

“Awh Petey you brought wolf boy! Who’s ready to kill somebody?” Wade said gravely and poked at his wound. His many wounds. 

Peter broke from his frozen position and punched Wade square in the nose. He didn’t know why. It just felt right.

“Ow!” He squealed.

“I thought you died dipshit!” He screamed.

“Well I did for a while-“ Wade hurriedly tried to defend.

Logan had to pull him back so Peter didn’t maul the man. Excuses? What could excuse this?. Even though it looked like Logan wanted to maul him himself.

“I hate you! You asshole I nearly cried for you” Peter said grumpily when he decided he would give up his attack and hang limply from where Logan was holding him like a lioness held her cub.

“Awww- wait nearly? Cmon dude I died and you didn’t cry?” Wade asked in outrage.

“Fuck you. I missed you. Douchebag. I hate your face” Peter yelled.

“Did I hear a ‘I missed you’ hidden in there?” Wade asked, eyebrows wiggling.

“Are we gonna address the fact he’s butt naked or…?” Logan asked finally and very awkwardly.

“Why are you looking?” Wade asked with a wink.

“I think I just threw up in my mouth”

“Ew let me go I have a phobia!” Peter squirmed and fell to his knees then stumbled back up. “But dude you totally ruined our reunion by being naked right now we could’ve had a bro hug” Peter said, offended.

“I think you broke my nose” Wade said.

“I did. I made sure I heard a crack- wait why the fuck is it already healed?” Peter said, scanning Wades perfect (besides for the skin…what happened?) nose.

“Oh it’s my new superpower. They were gonna inslave me but I said psych and blew up the place. Scum bag got away though so I gotta kill em now” Wade said casually.

“That’s a lot to unpack” Logan mumbled. 

“AGAIN? YOU NEARLY GOT INSLAVED AS A SUPER MUTANT AGAIN WADE WILSON? I’m done with you. I’m done” Peter screamed before dwindling into deranged sighs and exasperation.

“I knew you’d be mad at me” Wade said grumbling and crossing his hands.

“What happened your…?” Logan butted in, in pure confusion as he indicated vaguely to all of Wade.

“I don’t know. Hurt like a bitch. I still have my dashing good looks though, right?” Wade said enthusiastically.

Logan visibly winced.

“You’re bald now” Peter deadpanned.

Wades eyes widened and went up to feel his hairless scalp. “NO NO NO IM GONNA KILL HIM” 

Wade screamed and started marching out of the building as if he hadn’t rise from the dead spouted some shit then metaphorically mic dropped.

“I wanna help!” Peter said “he fucked with my feels he can’t get away with that shit” Peter said deadly. Logan believed him, he was twisting a throwing knife between his fingers like he was innocently spinning a pen.

“Kk!”

They both looked at Logan as they stopped outside his truck.

Logan’s face crumpled.

“I really must get back-“

“Open the cat Wolfy it’s kill time” Wade sing songed as Peter hopped into the back of the pickup and Wade took the front seat.

“Fine. But you’re putting on some pants, pal. I don’t wanna catch your burned junk in my mirrors”

Chapter Text

Wade hightailed it to the car, butt fucking naked and hopped into the passenger seat while yelling shotgun as if Peter was running right behind him. Peter didn't have the energy to fight Wade on this though, he just went through the worst kind of emotional rollercoaster. So loopy that you couldn't put your arms in the air because you were scared for your life and so abrupt that you felt like you would throw up at every turn. That was him right now. The view of Wade’s burned butt wasn't helping.

Logan threw a pair of jeans at Wade that he dug out of his trunk with a grimace "put those on before you traumatise the child" he said gruffly and swung the door of the drivers side open roughly.

"Too late" Peter said meekly from where he was stretched out in the back trying to ease his stomach (the mental image of naked kebab Wade still haunted his mind) .

Suddenly Wade let out a blood curdling scream that would put Sydney Prescott to shame. He was looking at himself in the rear-view mirror as he dragged his hands over his bare head and where his eye brows would usually be. He examined his blistered skin up close and let out a defeated whimper. 

"Well that's plan b out the window" he sighs.

Peter didn't even ask.

"So Wade" Peter started, trying to tear Wades attention away from himself. "Any leads on this guy?"

"...no" he said surly with a downturned gaze.

Logan let out a long winded sigh.

"Name?"

"Francis" he answers confidently, "I didn't catch his last name but he's British if that helps"

Peter grimaces "not much" he said dryly back. Wade shrugged at him while gnawing on a salami stick, that he must've kept through the whole ordeal considering Peter didn't bring it with him and Logan lives off coffee and protein only because he's weird. Peter blinked back at Wade when he saw him staring and offered out the snack to Peter.

Peter shook his head and started scouring the internet of any mention of a British guy named Francis that was any bit suspicious.

Peter zoned out, feeling and odd sensation of revenge brewing in his stomach, one that hadn't fully effected him since he grew to properly realise what James had been through in Hydra. That was a whole other thing in the back of his head. Peter wondered if the little voice ricocheting around his head that sounded suspiciously like the commander would ever go away. The voice that criticised his every move or hissed at any emotion shown, fake or not. Or the inkling of fear that accompanied a bad decision, the ones that made the scars on his back sting like they were fresh. But the worst thing that lived in his mind and refused to be forgotten were the memories. The memories that sounded like James's gentle but brittle voice he used for telling war stories or the barks of laughter that caved a hole in the pit of his stomach, because he would never hear those precious sounds of family again and it was his fault. His lack of control. His weakness. His mistake. But it was James's life and his mind would never let him forget that.

Reminders haunted his peripheral like ghosts, following along beside him like shadows that he could never quite catch, then again he never tried to. To scared of the consequences. 

Peter wondered, as he sat mindlessly scouring every nook and cranny of the internet if he could ever live in this world normally without seeing echoes of his pass wherever he went. 

However as he looked up and saw Logan and Wade squabbling over the radios buttons between shouts of 'my car, my rules' and 'I almost died let me choose the music!' A small smile of amusement spread over his face and he realised for once it didn't feel wrong. It didn't feel like a thing he didn't deserve or he couldn't express. Instead it felt fresh and private but still happy.

He didn't need to change himself to fit to this world because he could make one of his own where their problems range between different music tastes to trying to stop Wade from bring murdered and there happiness normally begins with gearing up for a gruesome fight. He liked that world, he thought, that was until he saw Wade and Logan nodding along contentedly to Celine Dion.

"Peter it's no use, there's too many people it could be" Logan groaned. They were nearing the city now and Wade was half asleep after his 'big day' as he calls it. Peter calls it 'Wade almost died' day but each to their own.

"Give the little nerd a chance" Wade grumbled with his eyes clothes and legs spread out clumsily in a vain effort to make himself comfortable in the stiff seats.

"There has to be thousands of Francis's with a British accent. He might have even been faking the accent, maybe he's Australian or something and then what? His name might not even be Francis! There is no knowing-"

"Found him" Peter said and collected all of the data he found onto one window and showed it to Wade "this out guy?" 

"You can't have possibly-"

"That's him" Wade said, with more venom Peter has ever heard in his normally overly friendly voice.

"Can you get a location on him" Wade asked peeking at the screen where a picture of "Francis Freeman" was shown, it looked more like a mugshot though, the way he was so beaten up in it. His eyes were glazed over and a sadistic smirk showing no real emotion was plastered on his face like a mask.

Peter hummed "do you know what “The Workshop" is?" Peter asked.

"Yeah that's it. That's the place, or the organisation or whatever" Wade said enthusiastically.

"Uh great, they kept online records, and wow- they're just really terribly protected-" Peter said and brought up Francis's file that broadcasted the whole sick experiment that lead to his mutation. 

Peter frowned at the screen in disgust and turned it towards Wade who scanned it with his eyes before directing his attention elsewhere, attempting to act unbothered. And act Peter saw through like it was a window.

"Oookay looks like Francis or "Ajax" now I guess-" Peter started squinting at the screen.

"Like the dish soap?" Logan snorted.

"That's what I said!!" Wade said and punched Logan's arm.

"Super strength, Wilson, super strength" Logan reminded as he rubbed his shoulder.

Wade grumbled something about wussies and super endurance but Peter carried on over him because while those two shared one brain cell, Peter put all of his to work.

"He is on a recruiting task with "angel" a fortnight from now" Peter said before bringing up the location listed to show Logan and Wade.

"How did you-"

"Don't ask" 

"Alright" Peter said with a clap of his hands as he noticed the car was approaching Weasels bar. The place has become a sort of common ground now that none of them live together. "Let's get some supplies prepare a plan to intercept their deal and go in there guns a blazing" Peter said and hopped out of the car.

Peter noticed Wilson hesitating by the car and told Logan he would follow in a second.

Peter stood above Wade where he was sitting on the bonnet, staring at the scars covering his hand and tracing them with his equally scarred fingers from his other hand. His hood was up of a hoodie he stole from Peter bag which Peter originally stole from Wade anyway but still. At least this way it fit and Peter could hardly deny the man this.

Peter leaned on the truck next to him.

"I thought you were dead" Peter said slowly. 

"Yeah. Me too" Wade said in and attempt of dry humour. Peter shook his head and sighed. "I don't know if making you invincible was a blessing or a curse" Peter said, knocking his shoulder against Wades.

"Curse for you 'cause now you can't follow through on your murder threats and blessing for me because I won't get stabbed by a toddler in a spider suit?"

"Yeah that's about right" Peter said.

Then he did something even he didn't expect by wrapping his arms around Wades broad chest like by doing so he could protect him from the world. The world that seemed to only want to curse Peter and anyone he cared for. For as much as he could make his own little world with all that is good and well, real world problems will come knocking and won’t let up.

Wade patted his back. "What am I gonna do baby boy. What-am-I-gonna-do" Wade said wistfully.

"You're gonna make an amazing plan to kill this British fuck and go home to your amazing girlfriend and grovel at her door step and hope she doesn't cut your balls off for leaving her" Peter said with a smirk, expecting Wade to be all on that. Peter isn't very inspiring but he tries.

Wade instead ducked his. "She's never going to want me back"

"It's worth a try. I'm sure she will forgive you once she realises in your fucked up brain you thought you were protecting her" Peter said. He was talking from his ass. He didn't know shit about relationships.

"She won't. Not like this" Wade said yanking down his hood angrily and his point seemed to be proven as two old ladies who were passing let out a shrill screech in shock and quickened their pace.

"See" he said glumly.

"You don't even like old people! The only one you like is blind Al and I doubt that will present any problems" Peter said in his best reassuring voice.

"How will Vanessa ever love me like this. We could've made beautiful babies. Goddamn models." Wade said and pulled his hood back up before shoving his hands in his pockets.

"If you think Vanessa is too shallow to love you for your shitty personality you're wrong. Wade, your personality is simply to fucking large to ignore in favour of looks in a relationship so if that women loved you before she loves you now. Besides the scars are pretty bad ass" Peter said and poked Wade in the chest to emphasise his point.

"But-"

“Can’t hear you” Peter responded.

“I was going to say-“ 

"Wade. In the words of a wise, wise lady  “I cannot hear you with that pity dick in your mouth. I have run out of empathy. Go give your women some loven. And if she says no- which she won’t- but if she does, you come to our place and I’ll bring out the chocolate ice cream and blankets, okay?" Peter said in frustration.

Wade waited a minute before answering. “Would we watch golden girls?” he said looking up at him from where his head was bowed.

“What else. Now go get her tiger” Peter said, giving him a hearty shove.

“Get what?” A familiar voice said from the door way.

“Hey ‘nessa” Peter chirped and watched in sympathy as Wade stiffened.

“Hey Pete” she greeted then looked back to Wade who was looking at the ground, observing his face from view. “You better look me in the eye when you tell me why you left me all alone and hope to god it’s a good enough excuse because see all these rings” she said showing her hand and plowing on before he could answer “are very good for punching douches with” she said and crossed her arms with a huff.

Wade looked up slowing and fidgeted his hands “I’m so sorry ‘ness” he said meekly. His skin was burned and his hair was missing but no one could take away Wades baby browns. He blinked up at her as she covered her mouth with her hand then clutched his face with both hands either side.

“Who did this to you?” She said, moving her thumb against the rippled skin.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-“

“Shut up you loser and tell me the entire story start to finish. I suspect there’s a reason you’re clawed friend is chugging whiskey like he’s a millionaire” she said sternly yet somehow also gently pressed her forehead to meet his.

“They made me a monster” Wade said so quietly you could barely here.

“You’re no more monster than the day I met you Wade Wilson and you are going to be punched if you suggest in anyway that I would leave you just because…you’re a little charred around the edges now”

Peter crept into the bar as the two continued their whispered conversation- sensing that it would soon transform into something farm more intimate considering most of their conversations do.

He sat with Logan and planned for a while yet half their time was spent tossing peanuts into the others mouth. Eventually Wade and Vanessa joined them and the planning was set away for awhile and Peter decided to relish in the feeling. The feeling of togetherness. For once no one was dying or injured or fighting or struggling. Everyone was relatively okay and once again he thought back to Hydra, back to James.

He thought of his description of a family and wondered if he found himself a new one.

Chapter Text

You know when you watch those action flicks and the hero swoops in from out of knowhere in the nick of time and defeats the villain? 

It's all lies.

"Wade cmooooonnnn we're gonna be late!" Peter yells across the flat from where he's sitting cross legged on scratchy brown carpet, back leaning against the bed where Logan is idly stretched out on the bed. He lies in his usual leather jacket, threadbare jeans and white T-shirt that smelled like yesterday. 

Somewhere deep, deep in his heart Peter could feel the desire for vengeance that so many action characters must have felt , sadly that was drowned out by bar peanuts and knock off soda around 1am last night.

Wade who had spent the previous night on somethings little stronger than knock off soda was currently having meeting with the toilet.

Wade stumbled out of the bathroom with his suit half zipped up and his right eye twitching. "Do I like-uhh even need to kill this guy? A nap would be much better I think" he said slurring his words in such a way it made Peter scared that he was still drunk and not massively hungover and sleep deprived. 

"Last night you told me 20 increasingly gruesome ways you wanted to kill him and now you want to nap?" Logan said slowly rising from the bed with a groan like the old man he was. "Not likely bub" he hailed Wade up from where he had face planted half onto the bed half onto the floor and yanked him through the from door. 

Peter didn't know what to expect, after years of training with Hydra to make "his mind and body a fortress" he felt like a year with Wade made his mind into mush. If he still had the motivation to think the way he used to be forced than he would have fifty different contingency plans to take out this target. 

However none of them would've included a run down taxi being their mode of transport for today, so Peter had to give it to Wade.

"Pool, Dead Pool" Wade said through the window of the cab, one arm rested on the open window the other he used to shake the younger man's hand inside the taxi.

Peter resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his display.

"Yes, I know who you are Mr Pool we've met on many occasions" the man replied in confusion. 

"Like when you helped me deal with cousin bandhu" the man continued with an exaggerated wink.

"Mooooovingg on" Wade said but Peter saw him return the wink as he slides into the passenger set and started changing the radio channel "would you pretty please take me and my friendies to fight the man who did this to me" he said and without prior warning yanked up his mask at the poor taxi driver and made a scrunched face to exaggerate it.

He yelped loudly then covered his mouth as if to stop anymore screams. "That is...most unfortunate Mr pool"

"Yes. Yes it is" Wade said in a serious way which made Peter think no amount of alcohol could stop Wade from killing this guy now. "Now will you take tooooo here" Wade said and held out his phone with his gps linked to the location of where the deal would take place. 

"For the normal price?" He asked with a sigh.

"You know it" Wade said with his usual amount of gusto and held up both his hands "high ten"

The man reluctantly high fived his hands before starting the engine.

Another poor soul corrupted by Wade.

"Quick hand me my bazooka!" Wade yelled and scrambled upright in his seat.

"It's in the trunk!" Peter yelled back in panic.

"It's him there on the bike!!" Wade said pointing to a man speeding along the motorway in the same direction as them.

"Shit all the stuff is in the trunk" Peter said as he riffled through the bag next to him and all he could find was an alarming amount of animal crackers.

He yanked a throwing knife from his belt and clambered across a half asleep Logan to get a good angle out the window. According to Logan's alarmed shout and groan, Peter had kneed him in the crotch in the process.

"Wait! Don't steal my kill go for the tyre" Wade pleaded.

Normally Peter would ignore his dramatics but seeing as this was Wades enemy it seemed fair to let the man savour the kill.

Peter altered his aim and threw a quick moving knife towards the front wheel of them motor bike. Within seconds the punctured tyre caused the bike to flip over itself while shooting Francis off the back like a catapult. Cars behind him swerved around madly as they screeched to a halt or sped past the accident. Wade leaped out of the car and any bystander who might've stayed to see if the motorcyclist had lived quickly ran off at the sight of the infamous mask and threatening katanas he swung.

Francis was leaning against the railing at the edge of the road one foot out in front of him, twisted in all the wrong ways while the cuts and grazing his visible skin quickly became smaller until they were nothing in an impressive show of his healing factor that even made Peter jealous.

Also worried because that broken leg wouldn't stay broken for long.

And Wade was a sucker for a dramatic kill.

Peter couldn't blame him something in him wanted to shred the man to pieces for hurting Wade and threatening his closest friend. He silently wondered if the violence he felt was an impact from Hydra but he found he didn't necessarily want to attack but to just very violently protect. The only link that feeling has with Hydra was in the later days when James would become increasingly more manic more often and all he wanted to do was to hug him until everything stopped and calmed down.

Peter shook himself out of his thoughts and focussed ahead of him.

Wade tilted Francis's head upwards with a katana under the chin until they were looking eye to eye.

"Remember me?" He asked in a voice so different from his usual cheer.

Francis tilted his head dangerously causing his skin to dent lightly from the unmoving sword. "Honestly? I have no bloody clue who you are mate" he said flashing a cocky smile. Remembering this man has no pain receptors makes it easier to understand his arrogant attitude, he never felt the pain of a beat down or a nasty right hook to the eye. Out of all the people he wished to never feel pain again Francis was definetly not one of them.

With his free hand Wade slowly pulled the red mask off his face. "What about now?" He asked, a murderous glint in his eye.

Francis let out a wheezy disbelieving laugh "Wade fucking Wilson" he said pushing his face closer to the katana "well hello gorgeous"

He spoke in the slow easy arrogant way that was so similar yet so different to Wades quick jumbled innuendos. Yet while Wades was mildly irritating and a bit endearing Francis's slow drawl only succeeded in making Peter want to roundhouse his head.

Wade beat him to it.

He took a step back holding out his hand like he was lining up the shot.

"This form looks good" he said and followed through by licking his head like a football.

"Ladies and gentleman-"

Shove-

"What you're about to witness"

Another kick-

"Is sweet-"

Nut shot- surely he felt that one?

"Dick kicking Revenge!"

He finished as he elbow dropped onto him and ohhh Peter felt that one.

Before Wade could continue his game of Francis football, cars and vans started pulling up with alarmingly reckless swerved on to the empty street.

Francis coughs up blood "looks like my customers have come to see what's making me late"  

Confused burly men started exiting the cars, they seemed apathetic to Francis's condition but geared up for a fight regardless. Peter assumed they could care less for the seller, they just wanted their greedy hands on the weapons and if that meant fighting Wade, Peter and Logan then three against ten was in their favour. Well it would've been in their favour if the three people were anyone else.

"Logan and I will handle it" Peter volunteered and left Wade to play with his toy. Wade didn't even look up in acknowledgment. Safe to say that burning revenge had come back to play.

Peter beckoned Logan to join him. Logan groaned like defending his friends honour was an exhausting task.

"Not my friend" Logan mumbled tiredly, nursing a pretty nasty hangover.

"I didn't say anything!" Peter defended.

"You thought it" 

The group of men didn't seem all that threatening, they seemed to watch in slight disgust as Wade let loose but other wise didn't seem eager to get involved just yet. Getting the weapons for free with no fight would be ideal is what they're thinking. Or perhaps they're frightened by Francis's face that could rival Wades for ugliness with all the swelling and blood.

"Psychic freak" Peter grumbled in response to Logan and opened up the trunk to find completely nada.

—-great 

"Wade you're a fucking idiotttt" Peter yelled.

"Tell me about it" Wade shouted back. Punch, punch, kick- oh! Head-butt, that has to hurt.

"C'mon Logan just like old times" Peter said checking both his web shooters were full and running a careful hand over each knife secluded in his suit.

Logan let his claws grow out with a sigh like he'd much rather point a gun at them until they went away or forced him to shoot. "I'll take right"

"I'll take left" Peter agreed and got to work with disarming his side. Weapon buyers, not exactly criminals for this offence- or at least not high threat but Peter's sure if he checked out they're criminal record it wouldn't be all that clean. Regardless killing wasn't an often, maybe it's because it's the one of the defining differences of his work with hydra and his work here or maybe it's the uneasy feeling that had followed him around and only increased after...the incident from before he left for special forces.

He was done surprisingly quick. Some few webbed to the ground while a few remained unconscious, arms and legs thrown out in various stupid looking ways.

"Aren't you supposed to be good now and not kill people" Peter asked as he saw the blood bath on Logan's side. Peter thinks that sometimes when Logan isn't concentrating he lets his canine side take over. That explains why he circles the room before settling down to sleep. It's highly entertaining in circumstance not like this. This makes his stomach churn a bit and gives him flashbacks to that small village in Africa where everything went to shit. Well, where shit went to shittier shit the circumstances weren't exactly ideal to start with.

"They'll be fineeee" Logan said with a yawn. Maybe they can use the money they brought for the weapons for the hospital bills instead.

"LOGAN!" A loud Russian voice yells, startling both Logan and Peter. Wade who is slightly further away has either tuned everyone out or is not bothered to acknowledge the new comer. Speaking of the new comer there's actually two of them. The Russian one is big and tall like the hulk but his skin is a metallic silver colour and from what it looks of it he actually is metal. His counterpart is the opposite. She is short and young, a few inches shorter then Peter perhaps but around the same age. She crosses her arms with a look of indifference on her face while the metal dude throws up his arm.

"Ah shit" Logan said and moves his body as if he can hide the blood bath behind him.

"Have you come to stop Deadpool too?" The metal guy asked, he cocked his head like a confused puppy, a gesture that looked foreigner in a man so big.

Logan blinked in confusion before catching on "ohhh yeah been after him for a while, slippery bugger...look at the blood bath he left over there we better bring him in"  Logan said emphatically as if he really really cared at what atrocities Wade had done. Peter had seen them shoulder to shoulder singing super bass karaoke last night. Weasels bar doesn't even do karaoke.

Peter scoffed unbelievably, gaining the attention of the teen.

"Who're you supposed to be, a patriotic spider?" She asked with a raised studded eyebrow. Woah! Coming for the super suit already? Damn. She had sass, Peter kinda respected how close she stuck to the rebellious teenager act.

Peter thought for a moment "you know what? That's actually pretty accurate" he said with a nod.

She did a sort of downwards smile and nodded back in acknowledgement "Cool" she said with no emotion what so ever.

And Wade said teenagers were scary, what a loser.

Speaking of Wade.

"Stop harassing citizens at once Deadpool!" Metal dude yelled like a dad telling off his son.

"Not today!" Wade said as he continued to murmur threats to Francis. Francis's eyes widened in surprise then grimaced. "Jesus, how would that even work?" He said aghast in a whisper to whatever Wade has threatened.

Wade stood up abruptly with a sense of pride. "Not any day!" He  continued.

After giving him one more kick to make sure he stayed down he turned back to the group. 

"Can you guys look away for a second-"

This moment- right here will be etched into Peter's mind forever.

Metal dude picks Wade up by the scruff of his suit like a kitten and flings him away from Francis. 

Ha ha ha 

"This is a shameful, and reckless use of your powers" he said, thick accent curving around his words.

Peter watched on with interest.

Logan lit a cigar and leaned against the bonnet of his car. 

"You will BOTH be coming with us" metal guy said shooting a look at Logan as if to say he knew he wasn't innocent.

"Exclusion is a form of bullying y'know" Peter mumbled from the side.

"Look Colossus, I'm not in the mood for the goody two shoes bullshit right now!" Wade said back with exaggerated hand gestures.

He finished then turns slowly to the teen "and you areeee?"

"Negasonic teenage warhead" she replied in monotone.

Peter guffawed loudly and covered it up delayed with a cough. She shot him a death stare.

After some good ol ribbing to the poor teen from Wade between punches to Francis, Peter was getting tired of the whole thing. The two had the whole thing where they call each other out and then they understand each other or whatever blah blah blah Peter wants coffee and a blueberry muffin other wise he's gonna get cranky. Sometimes those cravings make him remember how excited he was at the prospect of a bread roll and how James and him had shared it as a birthday meal. But nows not the time for sad memories, those are to be saved for 3am. Not like he's gonna run out, but whatever.

Point is Peter's tired. 

"Are you gonna kill the guy or not Pool?" Peter says with an eyeroll. Wades still putting up a fight as if Collosus isn't doing him a favour by not swinging him over his chrome shoulder and carrying him away.

Mr Chrome turns to him. "You are Spider-Man correct?" Collosus asked. Peter feels weirdly singled out. Negasonic teenage warhead scoffs at his name. Like she had the right.

"Basic" she muttered. 

"You're right from now on I'll go by-" Peter out his fingers in a square as if envisioning his new name in lights "Radioactive Teenage Spider Head!"

"I like it" Wade nods.

The girl just rolls her eyes. 

"You are child?" Colossus asks sincerely.

"Children aren't allowed within a 30 mile radius of Wade so" Peter replied with a sarcastic grin that the man couldn't see behind his mask but Peter likes to think everyone knew it was there.

"You're childish attitude and misplaced sarcasm leads me to believe you are in fact a minor" Collosus concludes.

"By that logic Deadpool is a minor also" Peter points out.

Colossus thinks for a moment "well-"

"British guy is running" Logan yells from far back where he's still sitting in his car.

Wilson let's out a frustrated noise. "All you're fault!"

"I'll get him" Peter says, shooting a web to an opposite high up building to see if he can spot which way Francis is going. He managed to hop into one of the cars that had been abandoned and is going to merge with the traffic soon.

He reaches the vantage point and comes face to face with a familiar yellow face plate.

"Hello Spider-man"

Chapter Text

It was cold and dark to a point where Peter had burrowed himself into James's bed to get any bit of extra heat. James started talking as he did often. Normally it was about his memories that were circling at the moment, that way when he inevitably forgot Peter could repeat them back in return.

Peter listened with interest as James told him about Captain America. The man the myth the legend. 

Peter was young when he was abducted but even he remembered Captain America. Even though James told stories about Steve Rogers instead. Of a short, skinny kid who was always sick and never big enough for the fights he started. It made him more endearing, more life like. Less of a god in the eyes of Peter and more of a really great person. A Superhero, however not just because of his powers but because of who he is.

Iron man however. He was a whole different story. Richard Parker was a man of science and even though his child was young and Richard hadn't known of his smarts yet it didn't stop him from telling him all about Tony Stark.

The genius, the Superhero. He was smart and resourceful, he endured and improved. He never made a mistake twice and despite being brought up to be the owner of a weapons company, he used that wealth and money to do some good. He had wanted to be just like Tony Stark when he was younger. Then he met him. He thought nothing would ever top that moment.

Peter could barely walk at the young age he was but he had escaped his buggy in the rush and bustle of it all, he stumbled though the crowds of streaming strangers with tears streaming down his face as he looked for his parents. He tripped over his own feet and struggled back up in a panic, a Iron-man mask was half on his face slightly obscuring his view of all the crazy killer suits around. Despite being the same build as Iron-man they were so distinctly different. The flashy hot rod red and shiny gold suits symbolised a sense of protection for the public. Theses distorted versions seemed to do the opposite with their dark colours and clunky designs.

Then one looked right at him. 

He told James this story at the dead of night and explained how magical it was when he lifted up his hand like Iron-man did with his repulser then Iron-man came up behind him and shot it right in the face. Except when he was little he thought it was he who had shot it. He heard Iron-man say "good job kid" and dreamed that he would ask Peter to team up. Hoped upon hoped that one day he would get strong and powerful and save the world alongside his hero.

Then he became the enemy.

So as Peter looked at Iron-man straight in the eye as Francis drove away he froze on the spot.

Sure he wasn't with Hydra anymore, he was a good guy now but did Iron-man know that? He must know he attacked the Avengers when they came to save him he must know, right?- he must know what he did that day. He must be here to do what all Avengers are meant to do. He's here to avenge Bucky.

Peter has all these thoughts jumbling in his brain way quicker then he can keep up and he hears Wade shouting from behind but all he can think of is "I'm gonna die" "Iron-man's going to kill me" "I'm gonna die and my hero will be the one to do it"

So call him a coward maybe he deserves it but he does a 180 and he swings away. He swings around corners and into tight alleyways he goes through tight places in hopes to lose iron man. Then something occurred to him. 

A thought that hadn't occurred to him since that day in the bathroom. When all he wanted was Hydra to leave him alone so he got that tracker out. 

He slowed down. He's spent this whole time running from his past. Running from the terrible stuff he's done. He's tired of it now. He doesn't want to run anymore.

He stops on a roof top.

He killed James. He killed his best friend. The person who kept him warm at night and safe all day. James who tried so hard to remember but kept on forgetting. James who had been in Hydra longer than Peter was alive. Peter had killed him.

He deserved this.

Iron-man nearly crashed into the back of him, obviously not expecting the abrupt stop. He narrowly missed and spun to the ground. He got up quickly, with more grace than any man wearing that much armour should have.

"That was fun. Unfortunately I can't play tag all day" Iron-man huffed as he brushed the non existent dust off his armer.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"  Peter said. He was pathetic now. He didn't mean to sound pathetic. He wasn't grovelling, he wasn't begging. He wanted Iron-man to know he had loved James too, he wanted him to know he didn't want to kill him.

"It's fine kid, this armour is here for a reason"

Why was Iron-man dragging this out? Why was he ignoring the elephant in this room. Why wasn't he getting revenge. Peter expected to be in the same position Francis was in by now.

Iron man didn't say anything. He didn't move. 

Peter didn't understand.

He sighed. "Um let me just start with this. You are a hard guy to find" Iron-man said.

"Should've made an appointment with the spider secretary" he mumbled while scuffling his feet on the rooftop. He uses humour to cope with stress, okay? Don't judge.

"Ha I will in the future" he says awkwardly.

Future. Future? What future. Is this not the end of the line?

"Look kid-"

"I'm sorry!" Peter interrupts.

Iron man shot him an exasperated look like Peter was a kid deliberately being difficult "You've said that already" he pointed out.

"I'm sorry! You can kill me, maybe you should kill me but I'd much rather if you didn't kill me Mr Iron man because, well, I help the little guy and I don't want them to go without help just because I made a horrible, horrible mistake and I know I don't deserve redemption but don't think of it like that more like-"

"Kid!" He interrupted "stop stop" he said, holding up his hand in the same way he did so many years ago when he had saved Peter.

Peter breathed in for the first time in a while. He scrunched his eyes up. He didn't want to look the repulser as it shot him.

"Calm down okay? Just breath" Iron-man said from in front of him. 

Peter furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, eyes still scrunched closed. He realised then that he was breathing quite painfully. In short breaths like he did before his asthma cleared after a long training session. God, Iron-man must think he's a coward. He recognised one of his attacks when he has one, well he normally does a bit sooner but it's safe to say he was preoccupied. He levelled his breathing like he had done so many times. He forgot what it was like, the painful stabbing in his heart and the overwhelming senses of panic. He hadn't had to deal with on of these guys in a while.

It was awkward now. Peter was almost to embarrassed to open his eyes when his breathing finally reached a level where he could have comprehensive thoughts.

"You okay, kid?" He asks after a beat of silence. It's shocked Peter, he was expecting violence or at the very least mockery.

"Sorry" Peter said and bowed his head, he wasn't the best at eye contact.

"Yeah I gathered that" Iron-man remarked while rubbing his temples in a tired motion. "You get those often?" 

"Get what?" 

Iron man fixes him with a blank stare. When Peter doesn't speak again? He does.

"Panic attacks, what else?" He said.

"I don't get panic attacks" Peter said, crossing his arms defiantly. 

"I just saw-" he cut himself off with a sigh "look kid," why does he keep calling him that? "Why don't you come back to the tower, I just wanna talk okay?"

Talk? Like interrogation right? Get everything out of the Hydra soldier before you kill them? ...maybe that's not a bad thing, there's no excuse for what Peter has done but to explain that his intentions were good would take a lot of weight off his shoulders.

"You couldn't have.. I don't know emailed me about this? You damn near scared me to death" Peter said, trying to play it cool. He's pretty good at masking his emotions if he says so himself.

"We've tried contacting you in the past" Iron-man says "you turned it down quite strongly"

Peter thinks back..,when? "Oh Fury? He was way out of line man. Seriously? you sent him...but he said he wanted me to work with you. Why do you want that?" Peter asked. He tries to beat around the bush. He doesn't need to remind James's teammate why James was dead.

Before Iron-man could respond it clicks "that was all a ruse wasn't it? To get me back to the the compound? To kill me?" He says taking a step back.

"Kid-" 

That name again. It annoys Peter. 

"We aren't going to kill you, we just want to make sure you're okay-" he says, two hands out like he's taking a wild animal but it's far more threatening when his hands shot deadly rays.

"Hah sure." Peter said shortly. Can't trick him, no matter what happened, no matter what's he's done. He grew up in Hydra, he treats everyone like a threat.

"Am I missing something here?" Iron-man asks with his hands on his hip "because I've never met a kid so against the Avengers! Normally they love us!" He says, widening his arms in a 'what the hell' kind of way.

"Well sorry for being a bit confused! I didn't expect an Avenger to come up to me with the intentions not being murder" Peter said defensively.

"Why would he murder a kid?!" Iron-man basically yells.

"Stop calling me a kid!!!" Peter snaps.

"But you are one!" Iron-man said like Peter was stupid.

"Why do you even want me on your team after what I did" Peter yelled and felt something in his stomach knot and turn.

And there it is. He said it. He let the cat out of the bag.

"After what you did?" Iron-man said, he had this wide eyed look of confusion in his eyes? Or was it fear?

"Don't play dumb" Peter scoffed after a hesitant second.

A flash of realisation shone on Iron man's face. "Kid whatever you did, I'm sure we can help you, you're still young" he said calmly.

Peter thought for a second but some block in his brain prevented him to do that, the years he spent there everything was his fault even stuff he hadn't been involved in. 

"No it's me, it was my body but-" Peter said shaking his head.

"But not your mind" Iron man interrupted. Like he knew. And did he know? 

Why is he being so nice? So forgiving? Peter didn't get it...

"Look kid, I know you've been through a lot, and I'd someone exploited you like that you should tell us, but right now the Avengers really need help finding someone and we have seen what you're capable of. Don't think all your work in this city has passed our notice." Iron-man said and it is so unlike anything Peter could've imagined it stunned him into silence.

"What could you possibly need my help with?" Peter said taking a step back. Did they need his mind? Did they need to brainwash him? They are trying to lure him in with fake sympathy just so they could do what Hydra did. They needed a scapegoat, perhaps, so they could keep the shiny Avengers image intact.

But no, Iron-man said something else.

"We need your help finding a kid. Peter, Peter Parker" 

Peter froze. They didn't know who he was. The Avengers don't know his identity. They don't know what he's done....

But they're looking for him.

Chapter Text

Bucky felt like shit. He’s aware that is an ineloquent way to phrase it and that Steve would chide him for his impoliteness. Too bad Stevie this is his subconscious he can say whatever the fuck he wants.

Wakanda is nice. After all his years of…not so niceness he knows he should be kissing the ground he walks on and at awe at the small yet advanced country.  It’s so clean and fresh and modern. Definitely modern. A bit like Starks place but less ass-holey, if that’s a thing. Everyone’s nice if a bit cautious around him which he doesn’t blame them for. Everyone keeps saying he needs to rest and find himself. Whatever the fuck that means. All he’s been doing is resting. He wants to go home.

Home is not the same anymore. Sure there’s still the same smelly Brooklyn streets but every family owned shop is replaced by big grand companies and what not. Everyone’s different too, no one’s civil and everyone’s on there cellular devices or whatever the hell they are. Bucky’s changed too. He feels angry, fed up, guilty, and over all, as he has said, like utter shit.

T’challa probably thinks he’s a nutcase. He is a nutcase, but he doesn’t want people to know. His mind replays the same memory over and over again and fuck it, he mentions it and everyone looks at him like a fucking crazy person.

Small boy, brown hair. Brown eyes. Sad…or happy. Or both. They tell him over and over again he’s crazy. Sorry, they don’t call him crazy they say his brain suffered negative affects or whatever.

Ever since the princess, Shuri, started messing with his brain, things have become woozy, for lack of better words. That image though, the young boy, it’s vivid like nothing else.

Day by day his memories return. He remembers how Steve brought him back to reality. How his little Stevie is part of a some kind of super hero boy band. They helped, he recalls. They believed him then. Believed Peter existed. The brown haired boy, Peter, he did exist. He must’ve. Now every-time he tries to remind everyone, anyone, they shake their head sadly. As if every-time he mentions the name he has relapsed. Why won’t they believer him? They saw him. They fought him.

They won’t let him back to New York. Or maybe they would if he asked. They run trials, not like Hydra but barely. They build him a new arm. He likes it, the joints don’t burn and the fingers don’t get stiff in the cold. Every day they inform him of his progress, he asks them if now, at last, he can help poor Peter, that’s when they do the pity head shake. As if all the progress means nothing. Like he’s truly fucked. He hates it.

It’s okay, he decides. He won’t mention Peter again. Even if he sees him in the corner of his vision, alone defenceless against Hydra. How his eyes shifted that day, when Bucky said his name. How he ran away even though his brain was pulling him back. He can feel the hurt because he knows that pain. The pain of resisting.

He must convince everyone here that he’s okay. That’s he’s not a psycho. He stops asking about Peter and instead mentions how much he enjoyed his time with the avengers (lies) and how he would love to visit them in New York (partial lie) and how much he misses Steve (true).

They ask him about Peter, after a while, with tentative smiles of little hope. He wants to yell at them, about how every second he’s here, that Peter is there. With them. He refrains and acts like Peter doesn’t exist.

It hurts, but so does everything.

“You’re hardly entertaining this Rogers” Stark said, Tony Stark that is, miles away from the man Howard was. He spoke with the same pretentious drawl yet held none of the charm his father had.

“Of course I’m entertaining it. I’d be stupid not to” Steve says and pointedly looks at Stark to make sure he got the message.

“He’s crazy you must know that. I know you love him but that’s how PTSD works. People make things up to cope.” Stark says, he’s holding that condescending tone again like Steve is a cave man.

“Bucky is not crazy.” Steve said, anger coursed through him. He clenched his jaw in a way to make it subside but he still found himself resisting from throwing his coffee mug at Stark.

“Sorry bad choice of words” Stark raised his hands like he was trying to calm a lion. “My point still stands, if Bucky wants to create some kid to help him pretend he wasn’t alone in there, let’s let him. But don’t try and make those delusions come true”

Steve, with all his might, refrains from lashing out. He shook his head lightly at the man and turned on his heal.

He knows his friend. His brother. He sees how utterly convinced he is. Every-time he visits he sees how much guilt he carries. How he believes himself so much.

He calls up his only friend in this new world. Besides Bucky of course.

The phone rings three times exactly before the ringing ends.

“Hello Rogers” a smooth calm voice said. Almost amused despite having nothing to be amused at.

“Natasha” Steve says, half in a sigh, still riled up about Stark. “I need your help finding someone”

“Let me guess, a certain Peter?” She says, he can almost hear her sly grin. “Wakanda keep me informed”

“Breech of privacy on there part but I don’t doubt that it wasn’t voluntarily” Steve sighs “well then, you must know why I want to follow this” Steve said.

Natasha makes a small sad sound at the other end of the line. “I already checked Steve.” She says mournfully. “If he did exist, it was off record. I tried finding anything that matches James’s description but nothing.”

Steve stays quiet for a while. Not exactly what he wanted to hear, but also he’s relived no child had to endure that with Bucky. At least they can move through this with Bucky, maybe Stark was right about the whole coping thing.

“I’m sorry Steve. I looked through all the files I could find, which was a lot. There was only two other people like James at the facility with him, and I don’t think he would’ve know they were there.” Natasha said.

“Would it be crazy to pursue that. Maybe they can remember Peter too” Steve said, he knew how it sounded but everything about this was so unlike Bucky.

“I’m not sure it’s wise Steve. These people weren’t taken like James, they were volunteers” Natasha said, it was clear she found them threatening.

“Do they work together?” Steve asked confused.

“I’ll send on their file. Don’t share it around. Don’t get lost in this Steve, the more you dig the dirtier it gets” she hung up with that anonymous line.

A minute later he received a message from Nat with a file attached.

He sucks in a breathe and opened it up on his phone (which he could barely figure out)

The small text forced him to zoom in on the title.

Project 1989- Maximoff.

Chapter Text

Peter is really questioning the intelligence of the avengers. Also, he is slightly offended.

How many times have they fought someone who can swing off webs and walk on walls? He fought them, yeah against his will, but he still did a good job if he recalls any bit correctly. Peter had realised he had doomed himself to be hunted by the Avengers the minute he used his powers. He’s surprised they didn’t come earlier, but who was he to look a gift horse in its mouth?

Despite being somewhat prepared for this meeting, he was still shitting himself- not literally that would be a tough one for the spidey suit- he had expected it going a lot differently (aka more attempted murder.)

Peter decided to think this out rationally. He’s read Stark’s research papers, he knows that he is a genius, so why could he not connect the dots- and surely James had told them back then, other wise why were they there looking for him. It baffled him.

Only logical assumption is that Stark is lying. Peter listened to Starks heartbeat and could only hear the steady rhythm of truth. Huh. Maybe the arc reactor fucks with that? That seems unlikely though.

Peter narrows his eyes at the earnest man in-front of him. “You…don’t know who I am?” He hears himself and swears. He’s going to jinx it, but also he can’t be made a fool of and follow Iron man into the dragons den.

“Believe me I’ve tried, but nada. Respect kid, not many escape my notice. That doesn’t matter though, do you think you can help” Iron-man said. Peter’s still stuck on why he isn’t trying to kill him.

Okay, so they don’t know he is Peter, but Fury does, which wow- ever heard of communication, but why do they want to find Peter. This is too confusing.

“What do you want with Peter, what’s his importance” Peter asked steadily. Trying to keep only innocent curiosity in his tone. If he can act clueless about this he might be able to pull something off.

“Why don’t you come back to the tower-“ Iron man asked casually.

“Tt try again” Peter cut off.

Iron man looked pained. “To be honest, I’m not even sure he’s real” he said exasperated. He ran a metal hand through his hair then looked even more pained when it snagged in the metal plates. Peter coughed to hide a laugh.

They don’t thinks he’s real? Peter isn’t sane enough for this.

“You like wasting the time of vigilante good do-ers?” Peter squinted, he’s already been to vulnerable around this man. He can’t let himself be seen through. His tone was harsh in a way he never found himself using in the Spider-Man suit, even with criminals he stayed easy going, cracking jokes as he webbed them up.

“Look I don’t say this a lot but… please?” Iron man said, he sure did look at the end of his wits. “Anything, even if it’s proof he doesn’t exist, I’ve seen what you can do and I wondered if it was time to get someone with experience on the street. It’s for….a friend of a friend.”

Wow. Tony fucking Stark saying please? To him? Little old Peter. If Peter didn’t carry so much hero worship close to his heart he’d laugh scornfully in his face. Instead he tilted his head in question.

“I’ll need more information” Peter said finally. God, was he really considering this? He must be crazy.

“So you’ll do it?” Iron man asked hopefully.

“I’ll need more information” he repeats, pointing at the man to emphasise.

“Of course, I can send it online or you can-“ Iron man started.

“I’ll come back to the tower” Peter decided. “You owe me, man” he sighed and shot a web at the adjacent building. He started swinging to the avengers tower.

They won’t be able to find Peter if they aren’t looking in the right place, Peter will make sure of that. Maybe he can make amends in the mean time, he’d like to not always be on high alert around the worlds mightiest heroes.

A few days earlier.

Tony couldn’t believe he was doing this. He cared about his team. Sue him. Steve Rogers is part of that team so if he wants to help his crazy friend then Tony will help. He’s aware everyone thinks he’s selfish and he can see how Steve searched for his father in him every time they speak. Maybe he can indirectly prove to Steve he’s not just some rich guy with an ego. Was that pathetic? Did he really need to prove himself?

Whatever, one problem at a time, and with problems Fury was always a good place to start.

“Ah-hoy matey” he said smacking the eye patched man on his shoulder in a way he knew Fury hated. “Get it? Like a pirate? Ha ha.” He laughed sarcastically at his own joke.

“Very funny. Why are you here” Fury replied, monotone and uncaring. At least the man won’t have to worry about smile lines.

“Because you know something I want to know” Tony said with a grin.

“I know many things you don’t know” Fury responded steadily. Tony almost scoffed but decided it wouldn’t help his situation.

“Do you know who Peter is?” Tony asked squinting his eyes and getting serious so quick he almost gave himself whiplash.

“I know what James Barnes says about him. I know a week after he came back, you went looking for Peter. I know you came back empty handed.”  Fury looked out the window as he talked. A steady look on his face…but something was wrong. His stance was tense and his shoulder drew together ever so slightly.

His information was useless. Everyone knew that. Well, everyone with a brain.

“Is he real?” Tony asked the man. Reading him was like trying to decipher a tough code but so much harder, not impossible though. Fury inclined his head ever so slightly to the slide, an uncommon sign of uncertainty.

“I used to think so” Fury responds vaguely, looking out the window as if the answer to everything was at the other side of the glass pane.

“What do you think now?” Tony asked, gently as to not rush or aggravate, there was a time for that but not now.

“I think there’s more important things to do” Fury snapped and turned on his heal to look Tony head on. It shocked Tony, Fury’s singular eye showed emotions. He couldn’t quite decipher what one’s but that’s more than usual.

“Fury” Tony said warningly, he knows something that he’s not telling.

“Use your head Stark” Fury said dismissively.

“You’re scared. You’re lying and you’re scared. Why?” Tony said. Pushing the man to speak.

“Something weird has happened, Stark. You must feel it.” Fury said at last.

“The Avengers, they have been compromised, I believe there is only one solution” Fury said. What? Compromised? When? how? what?

“I think to overcome this you might have to figure it out yourself. Start with Spider-Man” Fury said, in a blink of an eye he left. Tony stood alone, confused.

“Spider-Man? Who the fuck is Spider-Man?”

“Spidey what the fuck”

“Can’t talk right now DP, I’m swinging” Peter said, trying to keep his voice light. What is he doing, he should be fighting Francis with Logan and Wade and instead he’s swing to the Avengers fucking Tower.

“Where are you! You dipped! Asshole move dude” Dead pool said, ignoring Peter.

“Yeah I got chased down by Iron man” Peter said casually.

“I barely caught him man, you should’ve seen it. Blood everywhere. God, it was so beautiful.” He sighed longingly “wait. Iron man? Like Tony Stark Iron man?”

“If you know another let me know. Can’t have a doppelgänger situation on my hands at the moment my plate is pretty full.” Peter said sarcastically, barely missing an innocent pigeon with the distraction.

“Kid, your life is fucked.“ he said then completely changed the subject “When are you coming home I got chimichangas to celebrate?”

“Not for a while I’m afraid, gonna have a chat with the avengers, save me one though” Peter said, now he’s hungry. Great.

“Yeah, no I don’t think so. Be safe pumpkin or Wolvy might get antsy” Pool said before hanging up with a good bye.

Peter pocketed his obsolete brick of a phone and landed on top of the tower. Time to figure out what the fuck is going on.

Iron man landed beside him a second later.

“Hey kid, before we go in and probably get bombarded” Iron man said placing a hand on his shoulder that was quickly shrugged off.

“Bombarded? Ugh. So not in the mood dude”

“Yeah well. Anyways, do you know Nick Fury?” Stark said curiously. Wow Tony Stark has zero tact.

Peter spun to look at him. “So he told you?” Well great. Peter readied his web shooters. A pretty shitty trap, he must say.

“Yes”

Peter heard his heartbeat quicken. Liar. He breathed out a sigh.

“No he didn’t.” Peter said with a smile. Stark rolled his eyes, saying “forgive me for trying, Fury is a hard man to get information out of”

“To answer your question, yes. I know Nick Fury, I’m surprised you aren’t working together.” Peter said cocking his head to the side in question.

“He told me I need to figure it out on my own. A bit humbling, I won’t lie.” Stark said like a petulant child.

That’s weird. Why would Fury not tell them? Fury knows, definitely. What’s the benefit of this?

“On your own? You’re just recruiting me” Peter said with a slight laugh.

“On his suggestion actually” Stark said with a shrug.

What was Fury playing at?