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“Hey, Ernie!”
The sixth-year Hufflepuff looked up from his overflowing plate in the Great Hall to see Hannah Abbott approaching. He was sure she was going to remind him about rounds tonight, just as she did every time they had a shift.
A bloke forgets one time…
Putting on a cheery smile to mask the grumbling in his mind, he scooched over on the bench. “Hey, Han. I know, I know, we have rounds tonight.”
A hearty, yet forced, laugh left his lips as he shoved another bite of roast potatoes into his mouth.
“Correction, you have rounds tonight.”
She grabbed a plate and began dishing out helpings for herself when Ernie’s fork stopped en route to his mouth. He was still chewing the previous bite when he mumbled an unintelligible, “Huh?”
“Hermione pulled me aside in Ancient Runes today to ask if we could switch.” Hannah shrugged, nonplussed by the request.
But to Ernie, it didn’t make sense. Sure, they’d swapped shifts before, but as a pair. Ernie was always with Hannah, and Hermione and Ron patrolled together. Maybe Hannah misheard her. Ernie wouldn’t be surprised if Hermione wanted the extra study time tomorrow before their Herbology exam.
“You’re sure she didn’t see if she and Ron could switch with you and me?” Ernie couldn’t help asking again. At the very least, he needed the clarification.
Hannah side-eyed him, her eyebrows scrunched. “Are you chewing too loud and didn’t hear me properly? It’s just Hermione. She’ll be completing rounds with you tonight , and I’ll be with Ron tomorrow.”
Well, she didn’t have to be so patronizing about it .
Ernie would have told her as much, too, if he wasn’t so preoccupied with the information she’d passed along. It didn’t make any sense.
“But…why?”
“Beats me. She was pretty short and to the point about it. You know Hermione, doesn’t like to talk about much unless it’s with Harry or Ron.”
Hannah had a point. Sure, Hermione was nice enough, but she wasn’t talkative. Ernie even figured that maybe he’d get an inside glimpse at the trio’s friendship after he chose to be the fourth person at their potions table this year. Well, he didn’t choose, it was the only spot left. But still, his excellent eavesdropping skills had yet to glean anything juicy.
But he didn’t mind. Hermione was always willing to help if he needed anything. And hey, between her and Harry, some of their potions prowess was bound to rub off on him eventually, right?
“...I reckon it has something to do with that over there.”
Hannah’s voice drew Ernie out of his thoughts as he followed the nod she gave in the direction of the Gryffindor table. Lavender Brown was giggling uncontrollably—as per usual—and looked like she was trying to climb into—
“No way!” Ernie spit out the sip of pumpkin juice he’d been taking. “Ron and Lavender?”
“I thought Lav and Seamus were obnoxious when they were going together. But those two might take the cake.”
Hannah made gagging noises while Ernie peered to examine the pair’s actions from halfway across the room. Lavender was cutting a slice of steak and kidney pie into bite-size pieces and feeding them to Ron with her fork. If Ron was uncomfortable, he was doing a great job of hiding it.
“Gross.”
“I could have sworn Ron and Hermione were on the brink of something,” Susan chimed in, shaking her head.
“Me too.”
The sixth-years all went back to eating quietly for a bit before Susan spoke up again, unwilling to let the topic fade. “Ernie, you should try and find out what happened.”
“Yeah, right.” Hannah snorted. “You think Hermione’s going to let anything slip?”
“You never know. Plus, if she’s so upset with Ron that she can’t handle doing rounds with him, she might need someone to talk to. I’m sure Harry’s on Ron’s side. Who else would she have to turn to?” Susan reasoned.
Ernie pondered Susan’s suggestion. He was never one for gossip, but he didn’t mind knowing about the goings-on of his peers. Would Hermione actually trust him enough to talk, though? Honestly, it seemed like Hannah would have a better go of pestering Ron. Which gave him another idea.
“Alright, I’ll see if I can get the inside scoop from Hermione, but only if you do the same with Ron.”
Hannah crinkled her nose in disgust. “Why?”
“In case Hermione doesn’t let anything slip. We all know how loyal they are to each other, even when they’re fighting.”
“Oh, and even if she does, there are always two sides to every story!” Susan clapped her hands in glee. “Come on, Han, please? Do it for your best friend. Give us the Gryffindor gossip.”
Hannah rolled her eyes. “Fine, but only because I doubt we’ll have anything else to talk about.”
“And I’ll keep my eyes and ears open in Potions too. Just in case.”
Two days later, Ernie and Susan were waiting for Hannah to return from rounds in the Hufflepuff common room. Ernie’s evening with Hermione yielded no additional information, much to Susan’s dismay.
“She really didn’t say anything?”
“No, Suze, nothing. But I didn’t want to press the issue. One mention of Ron turned her whole mood around.”
Susan furrowed her brows. “But you said she seemed down when you met. That doesn’t make sense.”
“Yeah, she did. But when I asked if everything was okay with her and Ron, she went from sad to angry and annoyed. I thought she was going to hex me.”
“So, Hannah’s our only hope then.” Susan pouts.
“What about me?” Hannah was so stealthy when she entered the common room that neither had noticed.
“You’re back! Please tell us you were more successful than Ernie was last night,” Susan begged.
Hannah grinned as she sat down in one of the armchairs. “Well, it’s not much, but it’s better than nothing.”
“Will it explain Hermione’s mood?”
“All’s I learned is that after the match on Saturday, Lavender kissed Ron in the middle of the common room during the party, and they decided to make a go of things.”
“Han, that’s not news. I heard that from Dean and Seamus on Sunday at lunch,” Ernie scoffed. “That still doesn’t tell us why Hermione’s mad at him.”
“Seriously, Ern? Put two and two together! Hermione’s mad that Lavender beat her to the punch.” Hannah lowered her voice before adding, “Ron wouldn’t admit it, but I saw a bunch of red scratches on his arms when he rolled his sleeves up. I think Hermione must have done something to him. Unless Lavender’s just really rough…” All three shuddered before Hannah continued. “He covered his arms and avoided the subject when I asked.”
“Hermione wouldn’t hurt him, would she?” Ernie had a hard time believing it.
“Um, you did see Marietta Edgecombe last year, right? Why do you think none of the other girls try to cross Hermione? She can be downright nasty if she wants to be.”
Susan gasped. “That’s right! And Ron’s still defending her even if she hurt him? That’s awful!”
Ernie was still skeptical. Yes, he remembered what happened to Marietta, but she did sell out the D.A. He didn’t think Hermione could hurt her best friend like that.
“Are you sure you didn’t mistake them for those swirly scars he’s got?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
Ernie sighed. He wasn’t going to admit he was jealous that Hannah managed to get more information than he did, but he was. Ernie knew he could have gotten more details if he’d been the one with Ron. Even though it wasn’t a competition, Ernie couldn’t help it. He didn’t like to fail. But this wasn’t over yet.
“Well, that still doesn’t explain why they aren’t talking. I’d bet we could get more information out of them if we tried. I’ll go with Ron next time and you can go with Hermione,” Ernie offered.
Hannah chuckled. “Nice try. You know the professors want boy-girl pairs when patrolling. Though, I’m sure you’ll want to switch eventually. If you ask me, I have a feeling we’ll be swapped for a while.”
“Yeah, right. They’ll mend things over in a week or two,” Ernie dismissed Hannah’s speculation. “We’ll probably have to swap one more shift and then it’ll go back to normal.”
“Guess we’ll agree to disagree on that.”
“You could just annoy them so they’ll want to partner up again,” Susan suggested.
Ernie shook his head. It was a good idea in theory, sure, but Ron and Hermione were so stubborn; it’d never work. “Nah, then they’d just switch with the Ravenclaws.”
“Such a shame. They’d make such a cute couple,” Hannah lamented.
“And I doubt Hermione would feed Ron his dinner in the Great Hall.”
Susan made a gagging noise and they all dissolved into giggles. Now that would be a sight to see.
Months passed, and just as Hannah suspected, Ron and Hermione still weren’t speaking. Ernie’s newfound partnership with Hermione became more welcome with each shift, and surprisingly, he enjoyed their conversations about Arithmancy or Potions. Not that he didn’t miss Hannah. The Hufflepuffs had gotten so used to their round routine that sometimes he wished they could go back to normal, but Hermione was easier to work with than he expected.
He’d even gotten her to open up a bit, too, which was his proudest accomplishment throughout the whole ordeal. She’d confessed that she had no idea what had happened between her and Ron. She’d asked him to Slughorn’s Christmas Party on Friday, and the following Monday he wasn’t speaking to her. Then, he was snogging Lavender at the party even though he said he’d go to Slughorn’s Christmas do with her.
Ernie had to admit he felt terrible for her. If he’d known before the Christmas hols, he would have offered to go with her instead. He wished he could help her get back at Ron for his poor actions. Not that Ernie had a ton of girls knocking down his door, but he sure wouldn’t treat any prospective date like that. What a git.
Eventually, Hannah and Susan became bored with the gossip. Sure, they were still interested and had a bet going on when Ron and Hermione would make up, but the girls were more intrigued about the deterioration of Ron and Lavender’s relationship. There seemed to be a growing distance between the two, especially over the last month, and while Ernie would never make a show of his interest in the couple, he was invested in the prediction of their ultimate split too.
Because deep down he knew it’d be the end of his Prefect rounds with Hermione.
On the Sunday following Hufflepuff’s victory over Gryffindor, Ernie was still walking around with his chest puffed out and head held high. Sure, Ron’s poisoning was a shame, but his absence from the game was beneficial to the Badgers, and Ernie wasn’t about to complain.
He promised himself he wouldn’t gloat too much on rounds with Hermione tonight. Ernie knew better than that.
As he wandered into the Great Hall, he spotted Hermione sitting at the Gryffindor table. But she wasn’t alone. She was sitting with Harry, Ginny, and…Ron.
Who had March 8th in the betting pool? Anybody?
Ernie knew without needing confirmation that he and Hannah would be back on patrol together tonight, but he still walked up to the small group of Gryffindors anyway.
“Hey, Hermione.”
“Hey, Ernie.” Hermione’s smile was bright; brighter than he’d seen in all the months they’d worked together.
“Are we on for rounds tonight?”
Hermione’s face flushed a deep pink, cementing the answer without any words. She and Ron shared an embarrassed look before she spoke again. “Actually, we’re going to switch back tonight. I-if that’s okay, of course?”
Ernie beamed at the pair. Somewhere along the way he became invested in their unspoken relationship, and (unfortunately for Lavender), he was rooting for them.
“Sure thing! Hannah will be pleased to get back to our old patrol route, I’m sure. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a pleasure, Hermione, but I’m ready to get back to my old routine.” Ernie took her dismissal as indifferently as he could.
Hermione smiled, and Ernie could see the appreciation in her eyes. “Thanks, Ernie.”
“Any time, any time. Enjoy your dinner!”
As Ernie turned his back on the table, he caught Hannah and Susan’s snooping stares. Any lingering disappointment dissipated as the newest wager began brewing in his mind—and judging by Ron and Hermione’s body language just now, it was a bet he knew he could win.
Spoiler: he doesn’t win. (stupid canon)