Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It had been almost a month since you moved to Newer Home, the longest standing city inhabited by monsters and humans alike.  With monsters being freed from beneath Mt. Ebott for about a year now, they were starting to settle in.  Of course, humans were always scared of what they didn't understand, so although integration policies in government were going decently well, the number of bigots and those who feared monsters was still immense. As a result, rent around Newer Home was cheap, and you snatched up the opportunity.  And now there you were, walking home from work, breathing in the humid summer air.

You watched a shambling mass of jello ooze across the sidewalk on the other side of the street, communicating in strange vibrations to a humanoid monster with a sharply manicured hand for a head.  The hand monster caught your gaze (somehow) and waved in your direction.  You awkwardly smiled and gave a wave in return.  You yourself weren’t scared of monsters, per say, but they did unnerve you a bit.  Well, so did humans, honestly. Now that you moved into a new place, you’d promised yourself you’d get over your fears, put yourself out there and make some friends, but it was difficult to find the confidence.  You supposed for now the co-worker and customer interaction at work was enough to keep you afloat, but eventually you’d have to open up.

Stuck in your own thoughts, you barely had time to register a blur of white launching itself from around the street corner in front of you.  You gave a startled “Oof” as it collided with your stomach, knocking you harshly to the ground.  As you struggled to fill your lungs with air again, you looked into your lap to see a fluffy white dog staring up at you, trying its best to keep a large bone in its mouth as it panted heavily, wagging its tail and vibrating with excitement.  You gave it a little pat on the head.  The dog stuck its wet nose all over your face, sniffing wildly. “Okay, okay. Hi, little guy, it’s nice to meet you too,” you snorted, your voice muffled as the dog’s thick coat smothered your face.

Suddenly, your body went rigid as you heard someone yell so loud it rattled your teeth. “GET BACK HERE, YOU MANGY MUTT!”  The large voice was soon accompanied by an equally large skeleton monster rounding the corner.  Catching sight of you and the dog, the skeleton skidded to a stop.  His gaze focused on you, then to the white mass wiggling in your lap, before he pointed an accusatory finger at the dog, eye sockets narrowing. 

“YOU!  You heathen!  Knocking over a pedestrian in your desperate attempt at escaping!”  He glanced at you, his skull morphing into a sympathetic expression as he put his hands on his bony knees, kneeling to your level.  “I am terribly sorry about his awful manners, human. I hope you are not hurt at all!”

“N-no, I’m fine,” you managed to say.  The skeleton sighed in relief despite not having lungs.

“Oh, good, I am quite glad,” He smiled before straightening back up, his spinal vertebrae clicking softly as he did so. “All right,” he began, “it is time for The Great Papyrus to free you from your sweaty, slobbery dog-prison,” he declared as he lunged to grab the creature from your lap.

The dog contorted unnaturally, effortlessly avoiding his gloved hands.  Yeah, this dog was not normal.  Was he a monster too?  Papyrus let out a noise of frustration and tried again.  This time, the dog scampered off of you in an effort to get away from Papyrus’ clutches. 

“Nyeheh!  There we go, a single success!  Human, you are free!”  He smiled at you brightly before turning to the dog with a determined expression. “Now, give me back my bone, you dastardly dog!” 

The Great Papyrus tried again to grab the canine.  And again, and again– his movements were lighting quick, but the dog was somehow faster, ducking and rolling; a hair’s width away from being caught.

You figured two was better against one, so you stood up and walked towards the dog.  “Come on, that’s enough. Give it here, buddy!”  You made a move to grab the bone, and to your surprise, the dog let you take it.  Without moving at all.  “Oh.  Thanks.”

“WHAT?!”  Papyrus gaped at you.  “Human, that is amazing!  What lightning quick reflexes you have!  I can’t believe he just stood there!  How did you do it?!  What’s your secret?”

“I dunno, I guess he likes me.” You shrugged and ruffled the dog's head with your free hand.  He yipped happily in response.  “So, what’s this guy’s name?”

“Oh, I have no idea,” Papyrus said nonchalantly.  “He’s not my dog.  He just likes to show up and… insert himself into my life sometimes.  He’s stolen my bones more times than I can count!” He gave a stern look to the dog, teeth stretching down into a frown, and folded his arms.

It was amazing how his skull could flex and move almost as human skin did, despite looking like solid bone.  How did it do that?  Did it feel like solid bone?  You hoped he didn’t take offense to your staring.  If he noticed, he seemed not to mind. 

Papyrus put a gloved hand on his chin.  You thought it was a bit odd he wore gloves in the middle of the hottest month of the year. Maybe skeletons couldn’t feel temperature like humans did, you reasoned.

“Honestly, I have my doubts as to whether he’s owned by anyone at all, with such horrible habits!”  He leaned down to look the smiling dog in the eye, and scolded good-naturedly, “Someone needs to take you to obedience school, you menace!”  You chuckled at that. 

Was it just your imagination, or did the dog’s face look mischievous all of a sudden?  The dog stuck his tongue out at Papyrus, who gasped indignantly.  “You know what? I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that.”  He primly turned away from the dog, instead focusing on you.  “Anywho!  Thank you for assisting me in retrieving my bone, human.  I greatly appreciate it.”

“Of course, happy to help.” You handed the skeleton his bone back.  Now that the situation was less chaotic, you got a chance to really look at him. 

This skeleton was easily two heads taller than you– about eight feet tall if you had to guess.  His proportions weren’t exactly human, and his wide stature was a bit intimidating.  He would be straight up terrifying if it wasn’t for his kind smile and energy, and… unique sense of style.  He wore blue booty shorts and a daisy-yellow and white tie-dye crop top (with yellow gloves to match) that barely covered his ribs with the words: “Skeleton?  More like Skele-fun!” written in sharpie across the front. You felt a smile tug across your face as you read it. That outfit severely docked his scary points.  

“I realize that I have not officially introduced myself!  How rude of me.” The skeleton held out his other hand tentatively, a stark contrast to his earlier bravado.  It easily dwarfed your own.  “Nice to meet you, human.  I am known as Papyrus.”  You took his gloved hand in yours and shook it.  

“Nice to meet you too,” you replied before telling him your name. 

“Ah, that is a very nice na–” Papyrus began, but stopped as his attention was caught by something.  You turned around to follow his gaze and were met with the sight of the little white dog, who had begun to defy all known laws of aviation and ascend into the sky.  You and Papyrus were silent for a moment, watching him soar into the clouds, up and away past the fading sunset.  Truly beautiful.  Amazing.  “GOOD RIDDANCE,” Papyrus yelled once the dog was just a white dot on the horizon.  You couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

“Is that normal for monster dogs?”  Papyrus shook his head.

“Nope!  Absolutely not!  Very, very much not normal.  Well, I suppose for HIM, it’s normal.  But normal monsters cannot do that.  Unless they have wings of some sort, of course.  The laws of gravity are not easily broken!”

“Huh.”  You looked off into the sunset where the dog flew, pondering this information, before returning your attention to Papyrus.  “So,” you began, looking at the large bone in his hand.  “That bone, um.  Does it attach to your body somewhere, or…?”

“Ah, an astute estimate, human! But actually, this bone is different from the ones making up my body.  I mainly use it for battle!”  The skeleton before you struck a valiant pose, pointing the bone in the air like a sword.  “In fact, I was practicing some advanced formations before it was so rudely stolen.”  

“Advanced formations?  Could you show me?”  Your curiosity was piqued.  You heard rumors that monsters had the ability to use magic, and that they could summon it in a variety of ways.  You yourself had yet to witness them using it.  The skeleton across from you held a look of astonishment, before it morphed into a smile that reached his eye sockets.

“Oh, certainly!” Papyrus tossed the bone in the air, and it landed perfectly upwards on the sidewalk.  “The Ca- er, my friend loves to spar, so I’ve been formulating some new attack strategies.  However, they’re also fun to do tricks with!”  With a flick of his wrist, suddenly four more appeared around the first. “Check this out!” They twirled around him, bobbing up and down like a carousel. 

You leaned forward with rapt interest, watching, a feeling of awe growing in your chest.  You had never really gotten to see monster magic before.  It was beautiful, the movement of the bones and the soft blue glow they emitted.  It almost felt like a dream; as if the bones themselves were alive and dancing.  “Woah, that’s so cool,” you whispered with childlike wonder.

“Why, thank you human!”  Papyrus placed a hand on his chest and bowed.  With a swift wave of his hand, he evaporated them all.  “Now I’ve sent them to my humble abode, right back where they belong.”

“I hope they stay at home, and that the dog stays out of your stuff next time,” you say, dusting white fuzz off of your legs.    

“You and me both,” Papyrus chuckled.  “Speaking of that meddlesome creature, in case he decides to show his face and barrel into you once again,” the skeleton began, suddenly not quite looking you in the eye, “perhaps you would like an escort to, er, wherever it is you are going?” Your heart stopped in your chest for a moment.  Was this happening right now?  Were you making a genuine connection?  Did he want to hang out with you?!

“O-oh, yeah, I wouldn't mind at all!”  Papyrus blinked, processing your words for a moment– was he surprised you said yes? Maybe he didn’t want to hang out and was just being polite. Scared you misread the situation, you floundered.  “But, um, I mean, I actually don’t live too far from here.  It’s about a ten-minute walk and it’s really no trouble for me to go on my own if you have to get going,” you began.  The last thing you wanted was to be a bother.  But Papyrus’ ever-present grin simply softened. 

“Do not worry, human.  I would be happy to make sure you got home safe.  Besides, I happen to live in Newer Home as well!  And fear not!  I have all the spare time in the world.  Please, remove it from me!  My hands are full of it.  Practically overflowing, in fact!”

“I’ll take you up on that offer then,” you smile, a warm feeling filling your soul.

“Excellent!”  Papyrus clasped his hands together. “All right!  Let us go, human!”  You fell into step next to Papyrus.  Keeping up with his long-legged strides was difficult at first, but you eventually got the hang of it.  The two of you walked a cheery rhythm, making small talk along the way.  

You asked if he made the shirt he was wearing, to which he responded with an emphatic yes.  It turns out he had dyed and cut the fabric itself, and came up with the fun slogan as well.  The two of you had a short conversation about DIY clothes and how fun it was; the skeleton was very knowledgeable on the topic, which made sense.  You wondered what other flamboyant outfits he had. 

Papyrus also told you about how he’d lived in Newer Home with his brother, Sans, since the monsters were first freed, and that the King of All Monsters, King Asgore– who he’s apparently acquainted with– had named the city.  “He’s admittedly not very good at names, but I do find it charming,” he had decreed.

“Wait, you met the King of All Monsters?” You asked, mouth agape.

“Yes!  He’s an awfully nice guy!  Did you know he has a clone?  That’s apparently his wife??”

“No,” you laughed incredulously, “I did not know that!” Papyrus was good company, you decided.

“Yes!  It’s true!  Well, I’m actually not certain about the clone part, but they do look very similar!”  He glanced around shiftily, before speaking in a faux whisper.  “Between you and me, I don’t think their marriage is going well.”

“Oh? That’s a shame.”

“Indeed…”  Papyrus looked like he was going to say more for a moment, but he stayed silent.

Eventually, you made it back to your apartment complex.  You turned to face your walking companion. “Here we are.”  You gestured to the building in front of you. “I guess this is where we part.  It was nice meeting you, Papyrus!” 

“Likewise, human!”

You turned to head up the steps before pausing and looking back towards him.  “And hey, if that dog comes by and causes you trouble again, come find me!  I’d be glad to help.”  

“Oh.”  The skeleton blinked at you for a moment, before a grin spread across his face.  “Oh, yes!  It would be an honor to have your expertise at my disposal,” he declared.

After waving a final goodbye, you closed the door.  Wow, all thanks to a slobbery little dog, you made a friend today.  Papyrus seemed like a sweet monster, and you found his vitality refreshing.  He said he lived in the area as well, so maybe you could hang out sometime?  Shoot!  You had meant to ask for his number or something, but you forgot.  Well, you supposed it’s a bit late for that now. Maybe you’d see him around.

Papyrus waved goodbye to his new human friend– was it too soon to call them a friend?  He didn’t want to scare them off, because sometimes, he did that.  Or most times.  Or, rather… All the time.  Friendship was like a flower, Papyrus mused. Not like his worryingly violent friend Flowey though, a delicate flower.  It was something easily trampled, and the last thing Papyrus wanted to do was ruin it like he always did.  

Papyrus took a sharp breath through his nasal cavity as he broke into a light jog, headed for home.  He needed to switch his train of thought.

He didn’t ALWAYS ruin friendships! He had Undyne, Flowey, and Frisk of course!  And his brother, too. They all loved Papyrus, and he knew this.  They all assured Papyrus that he was a great person and great friend! (Well, except for Flowey, but Flowey’s actions spoke louder than his words).

And he WAS great!  He certainly, definitely knew this and definitely, certainly believed his friends.  His greatness was often too much for others to handle, it seemed.  Back Underground, most monsters weren’t interested in befriending him, and his odds didn’t increase now that he was on the surface.

Humans especially seemed not to like him very much.  He probably came on too strong.  Which was understandable, because he WAS a very strong, and very large, and thusly very intimidating monster.  His strength largely stemmed from strategy—the best way to defeat an opponent was from a technical angle.  Papyrus knew a great deal about combat-related scheming of all sorts, including the delicate dance of person-to-person interaction.  He had practically read every book available Underground on the subject!  Which… wasn’t a lot, but still.  It was something.  He had developed some tactical strategies to observe when a friendship was sinking before it could even pull out to sea.

He learned to read the signs of people who wanted to be left alone. They’d shrink away, adopt a higher, artificial lilt to their voice, or smile tightly and try to leave the conversation.  He knew he wasn’t the easiest to get along with, he was quite… different, after all.  Eccentric.  Oh, how he wished he had that relaxed and charismatic charm his brother did… ESPECIALLY with humans. He almost made a woman at the supermarket burst into tears just by speaking to her the other day.  It was horrible.  Perhaps Papyrus needed to work on his inside voice.

He thought of the human he had just met.  During his daily (and nightly) jogging sessions around New Home, Papyrus believed he’d seen them around the neighborhood a few times.  They were always walking the streets alone… just like him.  A part of his soul felt a sort of kinship with them.  He was glad out of everyone in town the meddlesome canine decided to bother, it happened to be that particular human.

After the human waved off the Annoying Dog the way that they did, Papyrus was intrigued by them.  Especially so after they took an interest in his battle techniques!  They had a smile that reached their eyes as they spoke to him, and he could feel his eye-sockets crinkling in return.

As he and the human walked back to their apartment complex, Papyrus performed a Check on them. 

It was a rare ability that ran in the family.  He was glad for it; it was quite a handy trick!  The human’s Level Of Violence was as low as you could get, which was very promising for a potential friend.  Although, he wouldn’t flinch away from a human with a higher Level Of Violence— past sins were certainly forgivable in his eyes, although his brother might protest to that notion.  Papyrus gave a bitter chuckle at that.  It was a bit ironic, considering he—

Wait.  Papyrus was getting off track.  He was supposed to be thinking about the human!  Yes!  The human’s Check.  The Annoying Dog barreling into them seemed to have cost them a Hit Point— a fact Papyrus inwardly grimaced at.  Aside from that, Papyrus was able to discern their soul color. 

Turns out the hunch he’d been formulating was correct.  The human had a bright green soul the color of freshly watered grass.  Or pesto!  During his time spent in the lab, he knew a decent amount about human souls, and that green signified kindness.  He figured someone with a soul like that would make a good friend. Papyrus would try his best to water this blooming friendship, and he hoped the human would tend to it the same way.

In order to get a head start on that, he supposed he should call and arrange plans to—Drat!  He had intended to ask for the human’s phone number before they parted.  Seemed Papyrus had been too busy basking in the glow of pleasant social interaction to ask.  Ah well, it’s a bit late for that now.  Maybe he’d see them around. 

Wait!  Papyrus gasped.  He knew what to do.  He reached into his Inventory and pulled out his phone, phalanges flying over the number keys.

Chapter Text

You woke up to a missed call from a number you didn’t recognize from some ungodly hour that morning.  Intrigued, you gave it a listen. You heard a familiar boisterous voice speak your name in a singsong tone.  “Hello, good morning, human!  It is I, The Great Papyrus, whom you met yesterday!  You are probably wondering how I got this number.”  Yes, yes you were. “Well! I dialed every number sequentially until I got to yours!”  He gave a small laugh. 

That was… a bit weird, if you were being honest with yourself.  But hey, if anything, you had to appreciate his dedication.

“I recognized your voice on the voicemail.”  Ah, that made sense. “I was wondering if you would like to have a super fun ‘hang out’ session sometime soon?  I think you are quite great, and I would like to become what the cool kids call, ‘bros’ with you.”  Papyrus paused a moment, and his voice sounded a bit more frantic. “Only if you would like!  Do not feel pressured to return this call.  But if you would like, which I would like, please give me a call or a text when you can.  Have a pleasant morning!”

Later, after work, you gave him a call back.  Before the first ring could even finish, Papyrus had picked up. 

“Human!  It’s you!”  he exclaimed with the energy of a golden retriever.  Papyrus, in his excitement, was so ear-splittingly loud, you had to hold your phone an inch or two away from your face.   

“Yep,” you chuckled, “it’s me.”

“So I see! Er, hear,” the skeleton corrected bashfully.  “It is wonderful to hear from you.”

“So, about this hang out session. what did you have in mind?” 

Papyrus made a long, contemplative “hmm” noise over the receiver before answering.  “Well, to be perfectly frank, I have no idea!”  His voice took on a more confidential tone.  “I wasn’t entirely sure I’d even get this far,” he confessed. 

He thought you wouldn’t call him back?  What kind of soulless person would you have to be to not answer Papyrus?!  Actually, you supposed there still were a good number of humans wary of monsters, even here in Newer Home where they were the dominant population. You couldn’t fault the skeleton for not getting his hopes up, though you felt a frown tugging at the corners of your lips at the thought.

“Do you have any suggestions, human?”

You tapped your finger on your chin. What was something the two of you could do together?  It’s not like you had any great ideas yourself.  Maybe something public; something local?  The only problem was, you had barely explored the neighborhood since you moved in.  “Uh, I’m not sure.  I’m still pretty new around here, I can’t really think of anything,” you trailed off, scrunching your forehead as you continued to ponder the question.

“In that case, hold on, human!  I happen to know a ‘hang out’ expert.  I shall ask them!”  There was a bit of shuffling on the other end of the phone before you heard Papyrus say, “Sans, what would you say is the hottest ‘hang out’ location around here?”  There was the sound of a deep, low voice in the background saying something you couldn’t quite pick up.  After a moment, Papyrus spoke again.  “My sources say that Grillby’s is the hottest place to visit!  Which makes sense, since it IS run by a fire elemental, after all.  It does tend to get very hot in there, I can attest.”

You recalled passing by Grillby’s whenever you decided to take the long way home from work.  It was always bustling, filled with monsters of all sorts. You hadn’t visited it yet, although your curiosity had been piqued.  You wondered if they would cast you out since you were a human.  Every monster you’d met in Newer Home so far was nice, but you couldn’t help the nagging feeling you were an outsider.  But with someone as loud and confident as Papyrus, you were willing to bet you could drown out that negative inner monologue of yours and have a fun time.  

“Yeah, I’m open to going there!”

“Excellent!  I will warn you, Grillby’s is infested with… Fried Food,” Papyrus drawled the last two words out as if the very concept was a curse.  “They have diversified more recently, however.  I quite enjoy their sandwiches and salads and things!”

“That sounds great!  To be honest, I’m not really the biggest fan of fried foods either,” you admitted. “Grease doesn’t exactly agree with my stomach.  And it can be so messy sometimes.”  Papyrus made a hum of agreement.

“Human.  I think we are going to get along great.”

--

You met The Great Papyrus at the doors of Grillby’s.  The tall skeleton greeted you with an emphatic wave and a hearty “Hello, human!”  Through the large glass window, you could see a variety of monsters, all eating and chatting together amicably.  The two of you headed inside.  In the back of the establishment behind the bar stood a fire elemental—Grillby himself, Papyrus had explained.  You wondered how on Earth he didn’t set the rustic diner on fire with his mere presence.  The miracles of monster magic never ceased to amaze you.  You felt a tad out of place, being the only human there, but your anxiety melted away as Papyrus grinned at you and motioned for you to join his side as the two of you picked out a place to sit and eat.

You had never eaten monster food before, and when you mentioned that to Papyrus, he could barely contain his enthusiasm as you took a bite from your sandwich—a menu item that Papyrus himself had recommended.  It was different from human food in that it disappeared the moment it hit the back of your throat and fizzed out of existence.  The sensation reminded you of sparkling water.  It took some getting used to, but it was very enjoyable.  As the two of you ate, you spoke a bit about hobbies of yours, and Papyrus happened to mention his love of crossword puzzles.

“Wait, you like to do the daily crossword puzzle, too?!  That’s amazing!”  You leaned forward in your chair, and Papyrus made a small squealing sound and brought his gloved hands to his face.  The skeleton’s eye sockets practically sparkled at you.

“Wowie, you have some excellent taste, human!”

“Well, you do, too,” you giggled. 

“Thank you,” Papyrus said, placing a hand on his chest, where his heart would be if he was human.  “I’m glad YOU appreciate the art.  My brother begs to differ.  He thinks crossword puzzles are for baby bones.” Papyrus’ teeth stretched into a frown, and he exhaled dramatically.  “Some people just don’t get it.”

“I feel you there.  My family back home always used to make fun of me for it; call me an old person for even bothering.”  Papyrus scoffed, offended by the very idea, it seemed.

“Why, that’s just plain rude!  Everyone knows puzzles are the best way to keep a mind sharp!  If anything, you’re keeping your mind young. You’re keeping it well oiled! Well exercised!  I bet your brain could run laps around theirs.”  Papyrus punctuated his sentence by nodding firmly.  You were about to respond but then—  “Oh!”  Papyrus gasped.  “Speaking of laps and exercise, have you been on the hiking trail to the west of Saint Asriel Street?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Human, you simply must!  It’s so beautiful this time of year.  It’s a bit late in the season, but King Asgore planted a garden of buttercups near there as well—they should still be in bloom!”

“That sounds so nice!  I should check it out some time.  Maybe you’d like to come with me when I do?”  Papyrus’ eye sockets softened with sincerity at your question.

“Human, I would be absolutely delighted to!  If you do decide to invite The Great Papyrus,” he said, rolling his ‘r’ with an exaggerated flourish, “then I’ll make sure you have an outstanding time.  I could show you all the best scenic areas!  Places so marvelous they’ll make a grown monster cry.  And by a grown monster, I mean myself, of course,” Papyrus said, dramatically wiping a fake tear from his eye socket.

The two of you talked animatedly about a variety of topics until the sun began to set in the sky.  Eventually, it was time to head back.  Papyrus walked you home, and you bid a cheerful farewell to him as you walked up your front steps.

--

You had quite a bit to thank that little white dog for, really.  Because now, you had a friend.  Papyrus was great company– he had a gift for being able to go on long tangents about a variety of topics, from puzzles, to life Underground, to his favorite TV shows, to his artwork, to exercise routines.  You appreciated his gift for gab, since you yourself were a quiet person. After you got out from work, you often either gave him a call or walked with him as you headed back.  

Lately, you two had started to coordinate hiking trips to explore the beautiful nature trails surrounding Mt. Ebott.  As summer drifted into fall, the weather was perfect for hiking.  You had been out enjoying nature and exercising more in the few short weeks you had known Papyrus than you had the entire rest of your life, and you’d never been happier.  Seeking out local trails together was one of your favorite pastimes.

Some of Papyrus’ confidence had rubbed off on you, and you found yourself being chattier at work.  But you didn’t click with anyone like you had with Papyrus.  The boisterous skeleton seemed to take up a lot of your time, even when you weren’t together.  You thought of him often, wondering what he was up to. 

One afternoon, you two made plans to climb a new trail farther away from Newer Home, and closer to a more human-centric city to the north.  As you and Papyrus were looking up the hiking path, you excitedly pointed out it was about an hour’s distance from your hometown.  You made sure to get a good night’s sleep the night before.

--

You hit snooze on your alarm for the third time before finally stretching and forcing yourself out of bed.  You were not a morning person by any means, but for your skeletal friend, you’d endure the pain.  You promised Papyrus you’d get up bright and early for the hiking trip, since the forecast for the day was showing signs of a major downpour after 3pm.  If all went well, you could be there and back without getting caught in the rain.

You opened your curtains in your bedroom.  Well, it was early, but certainly not bright.  The sun had barely risen.  You took in a deep breath and began to get ready for the day. You got washed up, and made sure to pick out an appropriate outfit for the chilly fall weather.  As you were strapping up your hiking boots, your phone buzzed.  

Papyrus was on his way to come pick you up.  You got some water bottles out of the pantry, and were about to grab your umbrella before there was a knock at the door.  Suppressing a yawn, you went to answer it.

You opened the door to your favorite skeleton, who beamed down at you.  “Good morning, human!”  Your tired mind woke up a bit more when you processed what he was wearing. 

There he stood, adorning an unbuttoned chestnut brown trench coat and a tight-fitting black turtleneck that emphasized his broad shoulders.  A few of his spinal vertebrae peeked out from the bottom of the turtleneck.  You supposed it made sense—finding clothes to fit him just right must’ve been difficult, given his ridiculous height.  The dark colors he wore made the ivory sheen of his bones seem almost iridescent.  To complete the look, he had draped a well-loved red scarf around his shoulders.  It was a bit tattered, but added a rugged energy to Papyrus that made it hard to look away. 

You hadn’t had any coffee that morning, so the sudden jittery feeling that overcame you was a bit worrying.  You took a deep breath through your nose, and prayed your heart would stop beating so fast.  What was wrong with you?

“Good morning, Papyrus,” You managed to answer after a moment, fiddling with your coat sleeve.  The growing smile Papyrus wore suddenly left him as his eye sockets inspected you.

“Are you alright?  Your face is a bit red.”  He bent down to your level, eyebrows—or, rather, bonebrows knitted in concern.  His impromptu closeness made the jitters worse.  “I may not know much about human illnesses, but, erm, you’re not sick, are you?” 

“No, no I’m fine, I promise!  Maybe when I washed my face, I scrubbed a little too hard or something,” you replied sheepishly.

“Hmm, all right, but if you start feeling unwell you must tell me immediately!  We can always reschedule.”

“Thanks Papyrus.”  You gestured into your home, inviting the skeleton in.  He marched inside before twirling back around to face you, clasping his black leather-gloved hands together cheerfully.

“So, human! Are you ready for our hiking adventure?” 

“Yes!  Just about.  I’ve got some waters and snacks we can bring.”

“I see!  Leave it to me, human!  I’ll put them in my Dimensional Box Inventory so you don’t have to carry that cumbersome bag of yours.”  The Dimensional Box was something that apparently, most monsters had access to on their phones, courtesy of the Royal Scientist.  “Oh, that reminds me, I still need to ask Dr. Alphys to make you one of your own!”

“Aw, you don’t have to, Papyrus.  Although, it would be pretty cool,” you mused as you buttoned up your coat.

“I disagree and agree with your statements, in that order,” Papyrus said as he grabbed your supplies and pressed some buttons on his phone.  Within the blink of an eye, the items became pixel-like particles before disappearing completely.  Monster technology was so neat; you hadn’t gotten used to it yet. 

“What do you say we get going?”

“I would love nothing more!”  Papyrus headed for the door and gave a small “Thank you” as you held it open for him. 

You ventured out into the crisp autumn air.  In the parking lot sat a bright cherry red convertible—Papyrus’ pride and joy.  It stood out, a loud statement against the greys and whites of the other vehicles.  The skeleton opened the car door for you before sliding into his own seat and starting the ignition.  His leather gloved hands tapped on the steering wheel to the beat of the staticky pop song playing on the radio.

“By the way, Papyrus. Um, I really like your outfit,” you confessed.  You felt your ears burning as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.  Papyrus ceased his tapping on the wheel, and glanced over to you, giving you a double take before answering.

“Oh! Why, thank you, human.”  Papyrus looked bashful at the comment.  In the low light of early morning, you swear his cheekbones were tinted a light shade of orange.  He was practically glowing.

“Wowie, you think I’m glowing?  That’s too kind of you, human.” 

Oops! You didn’t mean to say that out loud.  You felt your ears burning and you suddenly couldn't look at the skeleton beside you.

--

Once you finally got to the trail, the two of you travelled through the tall trees at a leisurely pace.

“Papyrus, what did you think of the crossword puzzle answers today?”  You asked, marching through the woods.  The brittle auburn leaves crunched satisfyingly beneath your feet. You watched the tall skeleton beside you stop for a moment.

“Easy, as always,” Papyrus began, “Although I think the seventh answer across was a bit silly.  There were two words that fit the bill perfectly, but alas!  There is only one TRUE correct answer.  Such is the folly of the art of Crossword Puzzling,” he lamented.

You pondered this, humming thoughtfully as you came across a giant boulder.  There were some smaller ones next to it.  You could probably climb up them to get onto that huge rock!  Then you’d finally be taller than Papyrus.  Grinning to yourself, you began your ascent.

“Yeah.  Honestly I think you have a point,” you said as you hoisted yourself onto the largest boulder, attempting to balance on it with your arms out on either side of you ramrod straight.  “Maybe you could create a new kind of crossword puzzle that doesn’t have that problem!  Maybe it stretches into the third dimension so you can have more than one word be the correct answer.”  Papyrus let out an amazed gasp.

“Human!  You’re absolutely brilliant!  Which doesn’t surprise me, because you are friends with The Great Papyrus, after all!  Nyeh heh heh!”  You felt your face heat up at the compliment.  Before you could respond you lost your footing and nearly slipped, but Papyrus was there to steady you.

“Careful, human!”  You looked down at his kind face, marveling at this new angle.  This close to his skull, you could see the delicate way the morning sunlight reflected off the hard planes of his cheekbones; scrutinize each subtle crack and scratch on the expressive canvas that was Papyrus’ face.  His bony hands enveloped your shoulders, a solid and safe presence.

“Thanks Paps.”  You bent your knees, preparing to drop back to the ground.  But anxiety crept into your veins when you realized how far up you were, and you quickly decided against it.  You raised your arms on top of your favorite skeleton’s own.  “Can you help me down, actually?” 

“Why, of course!” Strong hands wrapped around your waist and set you down gently on the forest floor.  His hands were so large they overlapped as they did so.  They lingered there for a moment, and you gave him a fond smile, which he easily returned.  The position of his steady hands, combined with the warmth present in his deep, dark eye sockets made something stir in your chest, and your palms began to sweat.  Maybe Papyrus was right…  Were you a little sick?  You patted his arms to get him to release you.

“Thank you, bro,” you said a little louder than you meant to.

“Yes! Anything for a friend, fellow bro,” Papyrus responded.

The two of you walked through the rugged wilderness for a bit until you arrived at the very top.  It was a beautiful sight.  Grey clouds swirled above you, dancing with the bright blue sky, and the breeze sang a soothing song as it rustled through the autumn trees.  In the far distance, you could see the outline of Mt. Ebott in all its glory.  You took a seat on a nearby log, looking out at the sight before you and letting your aching muscles relax for a second.  Papyrus soon joined you.

“Speaking of friends and ‘bros’ and all that, Undyne says she would like to meet you sometime!  She is the one who I spar with, on occasion.  She’s quite a powerful opponent.  In fact, she used to be Captain of the Royal Guard back Underground, before it disbanded.”

“I’d love to meet her at some point, she sounds cool.  I mean, as long as she doesn’t beat me up or anything.”

“I would never allow it!  Do not fear, The Great Papyrus will protect you, no matter what,” Papyrus stated.  His proclamation made your heart felt full.  “Undyne may have taught me well,” the skeleton began, a mischievous lilt in his voice, “but I’ve still got a few tricks up my sleeve.  It’s a shame I never got to show them off.  I wanted so desperately to be a member of the Royal Guard,” Papyrus sighed.  You gave him a consoling pat on his shoulder blade.

“I wish you had gotten a chance.  I mean, I’ve never seen you fight before, but judging from what you’ve shown me, I have faith that you could’ve been a great Guardsman.”  Papyrus’ teeth quirked upwards at your comment.

“It’s quite all right.  Although I never got to join, I did get super special private one-on-one lessons from Undyne about cooking!  It’s even better than fighting in the Royal Guard!  Or, at least, that’s what I tell myself,” Papyrus confided, leaning down to ‘whisper’ that last part to you.  You chuckled at that, ignoring the way your stomach scrunched at the mention of ‘private, one-on-one lessons’.  You scolded yourself.  There was no need to be jealous!

“What’s your favorite food to make?”

“Ah, I’m so glad you asked, human!  Thanks to Undyne’s tutelage, I have practically mastered the art of spaghetti making.”

“Ooh, I love spaghetti!”

“Yes, humans seem to be irresistibly drawn to spaghetti, I have observed.” Papyrus turned to look at you.   “Did I ever tell you that I became ‘bros’ with my first ever human thanks to its mouthwatering deliciousness?”

“No you hadn’t!  You must be quite the chef then,” you replied.  Papyrus’ chest puffed up at your praise.

“Naturally!”

“Okay so,” you began, running your finger absentmindedly through the dirt crusted in between the grooves of the bark, “what’s your favorite kind of pasta to eat?”

“Well,” Papyrus began, squinting his eye sockets.  His mandible opened for a moment before closing again.  He tilted his head and hummed in thought.  The sound of it resonated through his whole body, rattling his bones a bit. After a minute, he simply shrugged.  “I actually don’t know!  I don’t believe I’ve ever eaten it myself.  I just make it for others, since they seem to like it!”

“Wait, never!?”  You stared at your companion in utter disbelief.  “Papyrus, that has to change immediately.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t have spaghetti in my Dimensional Box today…  Usually I keep some in my Inventory just in case any spaghetti related emergencies arise, but of course, I didn’t think to pack any for this particular trip,” Papyrus bemoaned.

“That’s okay.  You know what, it’s almost noon now, right?  I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty hungry too.  I know we brought some snack bars, but I’m in the mood for some real food.  There’s a family-run Italian place a little ways out that I used to go to with my family when I was little.  Maybe we could eat there?”

“Human, that sounds wonderful!”

“Great! Sounds like a plan.”

The two of you sat on the log together in silence for a bit, admiring the view.  You were slowly but surely regaining your energy from the trek up.  Papyrus’ vitality never seemed to deplete, no matter how intense the journey was.  You had to admit, you were a bit envious of that.  Your skelefriend took two bottled waters from his Dimensional Box and handed you one. You turned to Papyrus as he brought the bottle up to his teeth, and the water slowly drained from it.

“Hey Papyrus, how do you drink from a bottle if you don’t have any lips?  And it never seems to stain your clothes or anything once you do—how does that work?”

“I am so glad you asked!  Well, it is all thanks to the marvels of monsterly magic,” Papyrus declared.  “You see, I may not have lips like humans do, but my magic can form around my teeth and the bottle and mimic the action, like so.” Papyrus took an exemplary swig of the water bottle.  “And… Viola!  A pair of super-secret lips!  It took a bit of practice as a baby bones to get the technique down, but nothing is too complex for The Great Papyrus to eventually figure out,” the skeleton beside you boasted.

“Huh.  Papyrus, you’re so cool,” you commented earnestly as you took a sip from your own water bottle.  You watched Papyrus’ face tinge with orange as he processed what you said.  Ah, so you hadn’t been imagining things earlier!  It seemed to be his version of a blush, and it was beautiful the way it arose like watercolor on the textured surface of his skull. 

“W-why, yes!  Of course!  Yes.  I know I am,” Papyrus laughed, waving his hand in dismissal.  “But thank you for confirming.”

Your mind flitted to a memory of your hiking drip the week before, where you had forgotten your water bottle, and had to share with Papyrus.  You had the startling epiphany that you had indirectly kissed this skeleton’s invisible magic lips. You inhaled your water and began violently choking and coughing. 

“Oh GOODNESS!  Human, are you all right?!  Oh no, I knew it!  Curse of all curses— you’re SICK! Do we need to get you to a human hospital!?  We should get going POSTHASTE!”  His tone continuously rose in pitch as he got up from the log and flitted to and fro in front of you nervously.

When you finally finished your embarrassing coughing episode, you reassured him.  “Papyrus it’s okay!  I’m fine, the water just went through the wrong pipe.  It happens sometimes.”

“Oh.”  The skeleton stopped his pacing to look at you quizzically.  “Oh dear. Humans are so strange.  Perhaps you should get your plumbing looked at, human.”

“Nah, it’s okay— it’s normal.  Or, normal-ish?  It only happens when I’m not, uh, actively thinking about drinking, I guess.” 

Papyrus nodded sagely.  “Ah, I see.  Human.”  He turned to you solemnly, sitting beside you and placing a gloved arm on your shoulder. “I know my wit and charm are very distracting, but you must stay focused.  I do not want your pipes to break.”

“Okay Papyrus, I promise to do my best,” you smiled at him, your face feeling warm.  His eyes sparkled with a bit of mirth, so you knew he was making a little Papyrus Jest (tm).  But honestly, he might have been on to something.

After finishing your waters and having a pleasant trek back down the mountainous trail, you two got in Papyrus’ red convertible. 

“All right,” your friend declared as he buckled himself into the driver’s seat.  “Next stop, my favorite human’s favorite childhood eatery!”

"Yeah!! Let's gooo," you cheered as Papyrus let out a little "Nyeh heh heh!" and shifted into gear to get back on the road.

Chapter Text

Papyrus snuck a glance towards the human beside him. They swayed their body from side to side to the tempo of Papyrus’ ‘sick car jams’, a large grin on their face as they mouthed the words.  His soul swelled; the sight was extremely endearing.  Papyrus gave a fond chuckle.  “Are you excited to return to the restaurant of the spaghetti variety after all these years?”

“Yes!  I am.  I hope the owners are working today—they’d definitely recognize me and come say hi!  Maybe give us a discount too.”

“Ah, how frugal!  That would be rather convenient.  And heartwarming, too!”

“Yeah!  They’ve been family friends for years.  They even got invited to my mom’s baby shower.”  Papyrus blinked at this piece of human lore he just received, feeling a bit flummoxed. 

“Wait.” Papyrus peeled his eye sockets off of the road to glance at the human.  “Your mother showered in babies?  And then invited a bunch of people to watch?!”  he raised his bonebrows. “Human culture never ceases to amaze me.”

“Oh no, it’s like,” his companion thought for a moment, “a celebration for when someone’s going to give birth to a baby soon.  In that case, the baby was me.”

“So, your mother didn’t shower in a SINGLE baby?”

“Nope—not a single one. I… don’t know why it’s called that,” his human friend admitted.

“Hm.”  He clicked his teeth together. “I will be honest, that is a tad disappointing.”  His statement got the human to snort in amusement. 

Papyrus smiled to himself, pride filling his ribcage at the effects of his successful jape.  He didn’t actually think their mother not showering in babies was disappointing, of course.

In fact, the practice sounded unsafe.  That would probably be a long fall for a baby—he could see them losing a few Hit Points.  And infants did not have many of those.  …How would the babies fit through the showerhead, anyhow?

“Anyways, I feel like the owners will take a shine to you, Papyrus.  Nothing makes them happier than sweet, polite people, just like you.”  Papyrus’ felt his skull grow a bit warm, and his soul a bit fuzzy, but he played it cool.

“Yes, well, I do pride myself on such attributes!  I am glad you think so highly of my appeal, human.”

“Oh, I recognize that building!  We’re almost there, Papyrus,” they exclaimed, bringing a finger up to the window and pointing to a building in the distance.

“Fantastic!  Oh, this is so exciting,” Papyrus sang.

The restaurant was a small and charming little building.  It looked exactly how you remembered it.  Papyrus and you got out of the car, and walked up to the entrance.  There was a little balcony that Papyrus had to duck to get under.  You opened the door, and were greeted by the owner, Emilio, walking past with a tray of garlic knots.  Your eyes met and saw recognition light up his expression. 

He called your name. “Oh, is that you?  I haven’t seen you in so long, I can’t believe how big you’ve gotten,” he began as he set down the food at a customer’s table.  “Carol,” he yelled to the back of the restaurant where you saw a familiar head of blond hair tending to a table, “Come over here when you have a second.  Look who it is!”

“Hi Carol,” you yelled and waved in her direction.

“Is that my favorite customer I hear?  Give me a moment and I’ll be right over, you two,” she replied.

Emilio wiped his hands on his apron before coming up to you, leaning on the reservation desk.  You saw his gaze flick up, noticing Papyrus in the doorway for the first time.  He looked startled, but he quickly shook it off.  He brought attention back to you, his smile tightening a bit.  He went in to give you a hug which you easily returned.  “It’s been so long!  How’s the family doing?  We miss you here.”

“Oh, they’re doing well.  They miss you too!  And your delicious food.”  Emilio let out a laugh at this, rich and deep.  You had missed that laugh—the memories of you and your family making jokes with him as you ate all came back to you, filling you with a sense of nostalgia.

“Well then, don’t be a stranger, come on in!  Take a seat.”  Emilio moved aside to let you pass.

You went to enter the diner, and Papyrus did the same.

Emilio stopped Papyrus before he could follow you.

“Ah, no. You stay back,” the owner spoke, a sudden iciness in his tone.  It made you nervous.  But you’d known Emilio since you were a little kid. He was a good guy.  Maybe he was a bit wary of monsters, but you were sure he’d warm up to Papyrus.

“Oh, it’s okay. He’s with me.”

“He’s with you?”  Emilio held a look of complete disbelief as he stared between the two of you.  There was a long, tension-filled silence.

Your blood ran cold as he stood in front of Papyrus and you, unmoving.  Why was he acting like that?  Ever since you’d known him, Emilio had been a nice, caring man.  His eyes hardened, and his lips curled in a scowl.  Seeing him like that…  You were at a loss for words.  You felt like you might puke.

“Erm, excuse me.  We would like to eat at your establishment, please.  I’ve heard such wonderful things about it!  Won’t you please let us in?  Perhaps we could order to go, and then get out of your hair?” Papyrus asked delicately, ever the picture of social grace.  Emilio didn’t respond, but merely looked at him as if he were a rancid piece of meat.  “Sir?”  More silence. 

“Emilio darling, what’s going o—” Emilio’s wife, Carol, had been walking towards all of you, but stopped when she got a good look at Papyrus.  She let out a sharp gasp and covered her mouth with her hands.  She looked just as sick as you felt.

“We don’t serve its kind here.”  Emilio tore his eyes away from Papyrus to look at you gravely.  “Unless you get rid of it, you’re not eating here.”

Papyrus made a movement to protest, lifting his hand.  As he did so, Carol screamed as if Papyrus had attacked her.  “Oh, it’s horrifying!  Get it out of here!  Out, out, out!” 

The cordiality that you were used to getting from the couple was gone.  In its place was an uncomfortable feeling; suddenly, you were strangers. 

Thanks to Carol’s outburst, frantic murmuring from other guests could be heard, getting louder with each passing second.  All eyes were on the two of you.  You felt bile rise in your throat but you pushed it back down.  You clenched your fists and willed away the tears from your eyes.

“Fine, my friend and I will just go.”  You answered, speaking with as much authority as you could muster.

Carol, cowering behind her husband, shook her head frantically.  “That thing is not your friend.  What would your family think, being friends with a demon like that?  It’s unholy!  Unnatural!” 

Emilio gave you a scathing look.  “Choosing those creatures over your own kind…  Makes me sick.  They steal our jobs!  Our land!  Our souls! I hope you wise up one of these days or you’re going to regret it!”

You turned away from Emilio and Carol, taking Papyrus’ hand and leaving the restaurant without another word. 

Now, Papyrus was a skeleton with standards.  Very good moral standards who most certainly did not fantasize about beating racists within an inch of their total Hit Points.  Although in a theoretical sense, those types of fantasies could help make it more bearable during those interactions. 

 But boy, did the two at the restaurant make Papyrus wish he could’ve, especially after seeing the hurt, mortified expression on his human friend’s face.  It made his soul prickle with needles of anger.

But he never would’ve, he reminded himself.  Reason number one: he didn’t want to cause a scene. 

Reason number two: those were still family friends of the human—as awful as they may be, his human friend probably wouldn’t like that. 

Number three: he might get carried away; he didn’t need to accumulate any more Execution Points than he already—his thoughts slowed as Papyrus felt a tug on the hand being held by his human friend. 

“Papyrus, I… I’m so sorry.”  The skeleton cocked his head to the side, and looked at the human next to him as they walked back to his car.

“Whatever for?   It was not your fault.”

“Well, it kind of was, I recommended this place, and it ended with them yelling at you like that.”  Their mouth quivered for a moment before they continued. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“Ah, I see your humble attitude is waking up from its slumber!  But it’s time to put it to rest once again.  Do not blame yourself, human.  That is just how some people are.”  Papyrus noticed the human hadn’t let go of his hand yet.  It was so small compared to his own.  He gave it a gentle squeeze, which he hoped was reassuring.

“You don’t deserve to be talked to like that.  And by people who I thought were good, no less, I… I don’t know.  It just sucks.”  The human’s voice cracked in their throat.  Papyrus stopped walking to look at them.  He saw tears threatening to fall down their eyes.  Papyrus’ soul ached.  He did not like that sight one bit. 

He leaned down to be on eye-level with his friend, and placed his bony hands on their shoulders.  Papyrus spoke as quietly as he could manage as he gazed softly into their eyes.  “Human, look at me.” As they did so, a tear silently fell down their cheek.  They grimaced and scrunched their eyes tight.

“Ugh, I’m sorry.  I don’t know why I’m crying, it’s not like I’m the one who just got treated like crap, I have no right to be—” Papyrus stopped his human’s upsetting rambling by wrapping them in a tight hug.  He felt them inhale sharply before returning the gesture, burying their head in the crook of his neck.

“Don’t you dare apologize for feeling empathy.  I don’t want to hear it,” he spoke, matter-of-factly.  “You have a good heart; a good soul.  And it warms my own to know that you care.”  Papyrus pulled away from the human to look at their face.  With the edge of his scarf, he wiped the tear trail from their cheek.

“I promise,” Papyrus assured, “it’s all right.  I am used to comments like those.  I have pretty thick skin!  Although, I know I don’t quite look like it,” he chuckled tenderly.

“Oh Papyrus,” the human mumbled sorrowfully before pulling him into another hug.  “I hate that.  No one should treat you like that.  Ever.”

“Nyeh heh, you really are too kind.”  Papyrus held the human in his arms, letting his eye sockets slip shut and bringing one bony hand up to cradle the back of their head.  The two stood like that in the middle of the parking lot for a while.  A silent, powerful embrace. 

Papyrus desperately hoped his good vibes and well wishes were being transmitted to his human through this long instance of contact.  The human pulled away from the hug to look at him, sniffling as they did so.

“Papyrus, do you… Still want to get food somewhere?”

“You know, I was thinking,” Papyrus began slowly, “we could make our own spaghetti back at my place.  Would you like that?  A little pasta and puzzle night, perhaps?”  Truthfully, Papyrus had dreamed of inviting them over for a while now, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity.  His human gave a small smile, and the sight lifted Papyrus’ spirits.  He couldn’t help but smile in return.

“That sounds perfect.”

“Splendid!” Papyrus gave the human a pat on the head before stretching back to his full height.  “We might need to make a quick trip to the grocery store first.  If we travel with swiftness, I am sure we can make it back before the storm starts!”

The two of you got into Papyrus’ convertible and headed for the store.

--

“And then,” Papyrus snickered, sneaking a glance at his capable car companion, “I drove right off the cliff in Queen Toriel’s minivan!” He gave his friend a moment to absorb the details of his disastrous driving-lesson.

“Oh my GOD!  Papyrus!  That’s awful,” the human guffawed, concern painting their voice.  “Were you okay?!  Was Queen Toriel okay?”

“Yes, do not worry!  I was able to conjure up a bone bridge of sorts to lower us safely to the ground.  It worked!  Sort of.  It was a bit of a bumpy ride,” Papyrus confessed.  “Her poor little minivan lost its balance and ended up on its side.  But we were perfectly safe, on the inner side!  Boy, was that ever terrifying,” he stated.  “Ms. Toriel and I can have a laugh about it now. It’s a fun memory to look back on.  But at the time, I can assure you it was very, very NOT fun!”

“Yeah, it sounds like it,” the human said, letting out a puff of air in relief.  “I’m glad you guys weren’t hurt!”

“And I as well!”

“So, uh, why did you drive through the cones exactly?”

“Well, in monster society, orange magic is meant to be run straight through, at full speed!  Otherwise, you’d get hurt.  So using my brilliant deductive skills, I reasoned I was supposed to slam the gas!  But humans have adapted this color on their stubby little three-dimensional triangles to mean the EXACT opposite!  What kind of sick joke is that?!”  Papyrus gave a comically exaggerated scowl as he put his blinker on to pull into the store’s parking lot.

“Do not worry though, human—I am now an expert in driving vehicles, as you can probably tell from the perfect way I’ve wielded this metal beast since we first met.” Papyrus affectionately patted the dashboard of his beloved convertible.

“I’ve never doubted you, Papyrus.”

Papyrus grinned softly.  His human was looking far cheerier than before; he was grateful for his amazing storytelling skills.  Papyrus was happy to divert their mind from what had just occurred.  Papyrus knew VERY well how helpful distractions could be when one was having upsetting thoughts! 

Just like in this instance, Papyrus was going to focus on his human instead of the very THOUGHT of bad thoughts.

Aw, look at them!  His friend’s eyes sparkled with fondness as they peered up at him, and his soul flip-flopped in his ribcage. In that moment, Papyrus decided he wanted the human to look at him like that all the time.  He made it his sworn mission to ensure this.

The grocery store was awfully busy today, so Papyrus had to park a bit far from the entrance of the store.  He observed the swirling grey clouds in the sky.  “Okay human, it’s time to enter the store.  Let’s try to be as fast as possible!”  The human nodded in agreement, looking at their phone.

“According to my weather app, we have about an hour to get our shopping done.”

“That should be more than enough time!  We can be fast.  I believe in us,” Papyrus said as he unlatched himself from his seatbelt and opened his car door.  The human followed his example and the two ambled their way into the grocery store.

“So,” his human friend asked, “what’s on the list for today?”

“We need to grab some pasta, some ingredients for sauces, and!  Most importantly!! Whatever snacks you’re in the mood for.  I will purchase whatever your heart desires, my friend!”

“Heh, all right, Papyrus.”

Papyrus went to go grab a cart.  Next stop, the impressive pasta aisle!  There was an overwhelming number of options there, but this is where his human friend came in handy!  They would be able to pick something good out; choose their favorite.

“Papyrus, what kind of pasta do you want to try the most?”  The question caught Papyrus off guard.  No, no, no! HE was the one supposed to be fulfilling dreams here, not the human!  His opinion did NOT matter. 

“What kind of pasta is your favorite, human?” 

“Oh, that’s a tough question, there are so many good ones.  Well, they’re all good, in my opinion.  I’ll eat any and all types.  C’mon Papyrus—list off some pastas!” Papyrus made a noise of protest, but then his human continued, “Pleeeease?  For me?”  in a voice so pathetically cute and exaggerated, it was was utterly irresistible.  The skeleton sighed dramatically, trying but failing to suppress the smile forming on his skull.

“Oh, all right,” Papyrus conceded as he straightened his spinal vertebrae and cleared his throat—something he very much didn’t need to do considering he didn’t have a throat, but Papyrus liked the official atmosphere it created.  “One must always remember the spaghetti, first and foremost. But the pasta genus is so wide and vast, it is difficult to name a few off my head!  But I suppose I will do so anyway, nyeh heh!”  Papyrus walked slowly through the aisle as he continued his pasta lore dump.

“Well, there’s ravioli, the dumpling-type pasta… the treasure chest of the culinary world,” he declared emphatically.  “Then there’s lumaconi—which is shaped like a snail shell!  The Queen of All Monsters would LOVE it, I’m sure, if she hasn’t already tried it.  And then there’s rigatoni, sturdy logs of deliciousness that hold sauces of all sorts beautifully within its center—or so I’ve heard,” the skeleton explained it as if it was the most intense and precious of legends.

“Alright so we are getting spaghetti, no question about it.  But also… Ravioli, lumaconi, rigatoni.”  The human listed out the pasta names as if they were in a poetry slam—rhythmic and fun. Papyrus joined them in this.

“Yes, ravioli, lumaconi, rigatoni.”

“Did you say ravioli, rigatoni, lumaconi?”

“No I said rigatoni, lumaconi, ravioli!”

“Lumaconi, rigatoni, ravioli.”

“Rumaconi, ligatoni, ravioli!!”

Papyrus and his human went back and forth, repeating the little list of pasta in silly ways.  They made a game of it until the names no longer sounded like words and the ritual ended in a bout of giggles from both sides.  The odd looks they received from other patrons only made it funnier.  Oh, how Papyrus cherished spending time with his human!

The various types of pastas were eventually collected, as well as ingredients for sauce.  Papyrus explained he already had some ingredients for sauce at home, but he wanted the human to pick out some extra ingredients anyway.

“I would love to have more than one pasta and puzzle night with you, human, so it would be good to be prepared for such events!”

“I wholeheartedly agree,” the human grinned at him, picking up some lemon juice and putting it into the cart.  The pair headed to the snack aisles, and Papyrus had the human grab some of their favorite foods. 

The human put one item in the cart, but Papyrus INSISTED they take another.  And another. And another!  They had a mini mountain in their cart by the time they were done.  Papyrus steered the cart and his human towards the cash register, parking in line behind the other patrons expertly.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to pay for at least some of this, Papyrus?  This is a lot of stuff,” the human murmured as they worried on their bottom lip.  What kindness—what selflessness!  How adorable… But this skeleton was determined to spoil his human, and so, he would do just that.

“But of course!  The Great Papyrus is strong enough to carry the burden of financial deficit on his own.  I promise.  Furthermore! He is very happy to do so,” he said, placing a gloved hand on the shoulder of his human friend and beaming at them.

There was a sudden flash of light from outside, and then a low rumbling noise that made Papyrus tense up.  Oh dear.  It seems they hadn’t been fast enough after all. 

“Drat!”

“Was that lightning just now?”

“I believe so.” 

Following the streak of lightning came a downpour of rain. It rained from the sky in a thick sheet, hitting the roof of the store and pavement outside like violent pellets.  The human stared dubiously at their phone.

“The rain was supposed to start in a half hour,” they groaned.  “My weather app is a huge liar.” 

Papyrus gave a solemn hum.  “Human, I hate to say it, but we’re going to have to make a mad dash for the car.”

“Ugh, yuck.  We had to park so far away…!”  The human pouted, furrowing their brow.  “Papyrus, do you have my umbrella?”

“Erm, let me check.”  He certainly didn’t remember putting one in there, but sometimes even The Great Papyrus could forget things.  He took out his phone and opened his Dimensional Box app.  No dice.  “The only thing in my Dimensional Box at the moment is our snack bars and half empty waters,” he frowned.

“Shoot, I must have left it at home.  I meant to grab it,” the human grieved as they placed a hand on the large store window, watching gallons of rain fall from the sky.

“Would you like to wear my coat, human?” 

“Thank you for the offer, Papyrus, but I think the ends of it would trail onto the ground.  I don’t want to get your nice jacket all gross.”

“Hmm, fair.”  That was very considerate, the skeleton thought. Papyrus, being the height of fashion he was, indeed loved his jacket and would like to keep it as pristine as possible.  The thought of it getting muddied was cringeworthy.  “But if you change your mind, the offer is there!  And I wouldn’t say that to just anyone,” Papyrus confided.

“I appreciate that, Paps.”  Papyrus’ soul flipped at the cute little nickname. 

“Of course!  I suppose we will just have to run.  Sprint!  Become one with speed itself!”

“Outrun the rain!”

“Oh yes,” Papyrus agreed.  “Let’s do our best!”

Once they were all checked out, they stood at the automatic doors.  Papyrus pulled up his hood and gave an unwavering look to his companion, and they returned the gesture with a big thumbs up.  He tightened his grip on the shopping cart and got into a serious sprinting stance.

“All right.  On the count of three?”  The human nodded.  “Okay. One.  Two.  THREE!”  The two made a mad dash for the outside world, yelling and screaming and laughing as they were assaulted by the anger of the clouds. Papyrus was soaked, but that was nothing compared to the human. 

They hadn’t worn a waterproof jacket—it was painfully obvious they were relying on that forgotten umbrella.  Papyrus did his best to shield the human from the rain using his one free hand that wasn’t pushing the cart as they ran, but it was in vain.  They were absolutely waterlogged by the time they got to his vehicular sanctuary.

Papyrus had the human sit inside the car as he put the groceries in the trunk.  When he came back, the human was in their seat shivering.  Papyrus gave a sympathetic look to his friend. He was suddenly overcome with the intense urge to put his arms around them and warm them up.  Skeletons were, naturally, very warm and cuddly.  His soul fluttered at the thought of the human in his arms again.

But then, he remembered the wise words of a professor from a really neat video game Alphys had lent him.  There’s a time and place for everything, but not now.  Papyrus inhaled deeply as his phalanges tapped an uneven rhythm against the steering wheel. Instead of embracing the human, he merely averted his eyes from his sodden friend and started the ignition.

“Human, when we get back to my place, you’re free to take a shower and get nice and dried up!  I can lend you some clothes, as well.”

“That’s really nice of you, Papyrus.”

“Nonsense!  I am simply doing what any gentleskeleton would do in this situation.  I don’t want my beloved guest plodding through my house like a wet sewer rat!” After a moment, he continued.  “I have nothing against sewer rats of course, I just think it’s a rather sad way to live.”

“All right, Papyrus.  I might take you up on that offer, I feel really gross,” the human laughed.

“I don’t blame you in the slightest,” Papyrus chuckled.  “Sounds like a plan, human!”

Chapter Text

It was a fairly quick drive from the supermarket to Papyrus’ house, but because you were shivering in your seat absolutely drenched, it seemed way longer.  Eventually, you arrived to Papyrus’ (and his brother’s) fabled abode.  The two of you made a mad dash for the front door, covering yourselves as best you could.  Papyrus finessed the housekey out of his pocket in the blink of an eye, and before you knew it, you were standing in his home.  It was small, but comfortable.

“Welcome to scenic My House,” Papyrus announced, gesturing to every nook and cranny.  “I hope you enjoy your stay.  Before anything else, however—let’s get you nice and dry!  Follow me, please!” 

You did as he instructed, walking with him up the staircase.  He opened the door to the bathroom, and there you both stood. 

“All right, human,” Papyrus began, grabbing a fluffy white towel and a washcloth from the pantry and bringing it to the bathroom, “I will gather some clothes for you and leave them outside the door.  It seems Sans still isn’t here, and his door is locked.  I was going to give you some of his clothes, as I think they’d fit you better… but it seems my clothes will have to do for now!”

You blinked.  You were going to wear Papyrus’ clothes.  His Clothes.  That belonged to HIM.  Your stomach fluttered, and your face burned with a pleased sort of embarrassment.  Papyrus observed you owlishly and opened his mouth to say something, but you scrambled to beat him to it. 

“Thank you, Papyrus, that’s fine.  I don’t mind wearing your clothes—not at all!”

“Well, that’s great then!  I apologize, as Sans and I do not have hair, we don’t have any shampoo or conditioner.  Although, we do have pet brand shampoo and conditioner in there, if you’d like to use it.”   You thought back to that little white dog you encountered the day you and Papyrus met.  Was that the reason?

“That’s all right!  I can make do,” you said, slipping out of your wet shoes and soggy socks.  Your socks squelched on the tile floor.  You and Papyrus both made a face of disgust.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it!  Give a shout if you need anything,” Papyrus said as he waved goodbye to you and closed the bathroom door.

“Sounds good,” you replied. You ditched the rest of your soaked clothing, turned on the showerhead, and got in.  

Papyrus began to bring all the groceries into the house.  As he did so, he thought about the human.  They had gotten all red again.  Concern coiled in his theoretical stomach.  Surely, if they were feeling sick, they would have said something to him?  They had promised to, after all.

A frown tugged on Papyrus’ skull as he set down the last of the grocery bags on the counter.

What could be the reason, if they weren’t sick?  Unless they were sick, and just didn’t know it.  He was suddenly struck with the ingenious idea to contact another human about such a situation.  Papyrus sat at the kitchen table, took out his phone and sent a text to his very good friend.  He was sure they’d know what all this human hubbub was about.  How lucky he was, that his two closest friends were of the same species!  This was too perfect.

HELLO, HUMAN FRISK!  I NEED YOUR OPINION ON HUMAN MATTERS.

His foot tapped anxiously on the floor as he awaited Frisk’s response.  Luckily, he did not have to wait long.

Hi Papyrus :D what is it?

DO YOU KNOW WHY A HUMAN MIGHT GET RED IN THE FACE, EVEN THOUGH THEY DON’T FEEL SICK?? THEIR FACE DOESN’T STAY RED BY THE WAY, IT DISAPPEARS AND ONLY COMES BACK SOMETIMES.

After a moment, Papyrus decided to elaborate.

AND THE HUMAN IN QUESTION MIGHT SAY THEY ARE FINE AND THEY LOOK HAPPY BUT THE RED IS STILL THERE???

Papyrus stared impatiently at the three little dots that signified Frisk was typing.

Do u think they have a crush on u or something?

Papyrus made a sharp intake of breath at the twelve-year-old’s audacity.  What.  WHAT?!  Unforeseeable! The human—his human?! A WHAT?

WHAT!!!! ARE YOU SURE?!  ARE THERE ANY OTHER POSSIBLE OPTIONS?!

I mean maybe.  But I think I’m right ;)

Frisk WAS the most charismatic and suave person he knew—aside from himself, of course. They were practically a love expert, Papyrus admitted, considering how quickly and easily they charmed him into a ‘date’ back Underground.  Who was he to deny a cute little kid of their fantasies of dating an exceedingly handsome skeleton?  Not he.  He had to let them down easy, but they seemed to take it well, thank goodness!  They were a strong little human.

On top of their flair for flirting, Frisk befriending every single monster in the Underground—even those who sought to kill them— was QUITE an impressive feat.  If Papyrus was honest with himself, he was a bit jealous of their social grace.  Frisk was, to put it simply, a Master of Social Interaction, and Papyrus trusted them to give a proper analysis, even if said analysis rattled his bones very much!

So, if Frisk’s hypothesis was correct, his human friend wasn’t sick. They were…  Lovesick.  Papyrus’ jaw swung open like a broken hinge.

Suddenly, the gears began to turn in Papyrus’ mind.  Wait.  Did that mean the human was interested in him?  Romantically??  His ribcage felt as if millions of butterflies were trapped within it.  Wowie, did it suddenly get hotter in here?  Papyrus shrugged off his scarf and tugged at the top of his turtleneck.

He quickly got up from his seat at the kitchen table and began putting the groceries away, hoping the simple distraction would calm his feelings a bit.

He hadn’t really thought about the human liking him in that way before.  THEM liking HIM. He knew it was unorthodox and strange for a human to like a monster in this way, but he found he didn’t mind one bit.  Or maybe, he MINDED, but in a good way.  In a really good way.  In a way that was so good, it made Papyrus want to go on a date with them and see if he felt the same! 

Papyrus arranged all the snacks he had bought for the human in a little pyramid of deliciousness on the table, humming softly to himself.  The memory of the sorrowful, tender expression the human had shown him when he’d wiped the tear trail from their cheek and asked if they’d like to come over replayed in his mind, and his soul ached gently.  He wanted to spoil his human rotten!  Which is why he was so very pleased with himself for convincing the human to buy as many snacks as they’d wanted.

Me n Sans thought u guyz were dating already lol

Papyrus scoffed, about to reply to the contrary, but paused, considering the contents of the heavily annotated Dating Rulebook he kept under his pillow.  Could it be possible…? According to his Dating Rulebook, it was crucial that the pair must engage in social activities one on one, and real, genuine compliments must be exchanged.

Papyrus’ eye sockets widened. The human complimented him all the time?!  Had they felt this way for a while?!  Today alone, the human had complimented his outfit, his personality, called him cool—oh NO!  Papyrus made a strangled noise in his metaphorical throat.  He had been giving genuine comments right back as well!  How uncouth!!

 NO!!

…WELL, TECHNICALLY, YES? 

I MEAN NO!  NOT REALLY!

Weelll it kind of sounds like u might be on one now if the human is acting like that hehe

Papyrus’ soul stopped beating for a moment. 

Oh Great Surface Above.  Were he and the human currently… On A Date?!  And he was blissfully unaware THIS WHOLE TIME?! How did Papyrus miss the signs!? Confounded love, he thought to himself. What a slippery snail it was…

Papyrus felt sweat beading on his skull. Had he known, he would’ve pulled up the dating HUD, gotten the human a gift and—WAIT!  He DID get the human a gift!  SORT OF!! Papyrus had just bought them a bunch of comfort food and pasta ingredients at the store! 

However, his ecstatic mood plummeted as he recalled the events of today were not going as they should, according to the Dating Rulebook.  He hadn’t even officially asked them on the date, and that was the very first step, and undeniably the most important!  And certainly, there was no step that involved getting publicly shouted at in a restaurant and then consoling your date after they burst into tears.  Papyrus groaned and paced the kitchen.  This was not good. 

Papyrus?  U ok?

YES!!  ABSOLUTELY!  I AM DEFINITELY NOT FREAKING OUT AT THE MOMENT, AND I AM NOT AT ALL WORRYING THAT I HAVE MESSED UP THIS COURTING RITUAL! EVERYTHING IS FINE.

Papyrus! It’s ok.  Just be urself.

Be… himself!?  Papyrus barely knew who he even was!  He wasn’t sure anyone did.  And how on Earth’s Surface could he be himself, especially now, knowing what he knew?!

FRISK, WHAT DO I DO?!

You like them, right?

I MEAN???

Papyrus’ gloved phalanges twitched awkwardly as they hovered above the screen.  He was glad the human wasn’t out of the shower yet, as he was POSITIVE he was glowing a bright shade of orange.

YES?????

:)

Papyrus sighed in frustration.  That was not a very helpful response. 

AND??!!?

U will be fine.  Also Sans and Toriel say hi.  And to ask them out already ;)

Oh NO.  Has Frisk been showing their private messages to those two?!  He would never hear the end of it.  Ah well.  He resigned his fate.

PLEASE GIVE MY WARM REGARDS TO THE TWO OF THEM.

Ok.  Talk to u later!  Have fun.

Frisk sent a gif of a cat raising its eyebrows at maximum velocity beneath the message.  The skeleton locked his phone and inhaled deeply through his nasal cavity.

Papyrus heard the creaking of the staircase, and surmised his human friend—er, date? Was finished with their shower.  He sprung up and sprinted to greet them, a ‘Hello, human!’ ready to form from his teeth, but he froze at the kitchen entryway when eyes locked on eye sockets.

There they stood, at the bottom of the stairs, his ‘Cool Dude’ shirt so large on them it went past their thighs.

He found he quite liked the sight. More than what was probably appropriate? 

Now, Papyrus was a very respectable monster, and certainly did not ever think about the human in the wee hours of the night in various romantic scenarios or anything!  But if he did, this sight would very much be included within them now.  He felt sweat collecting on his cervical spine the longer he looked at h—the human.

Fighting to contain his growing blush and play it cool, he gave a wave to the human and looked them squarely in the eyes, despite his eye sockets aching to roam.  He leaned casually on the doorframe that connected the living room and the kitchen, expertly hiding his flustered thoughts.

“Hello, human!  How was your shower?”

“It was great, thanks Papyrus,” they smiled.

“I have told you before, there is no need to thank me,” the skeleton insisted, shaking his head fondly.  “No babies coming out of the showerhead, I hope?”

“Nope.  Thank God,” the human laughed.

“That is excellent to hear,” Papyrus said, giving a small chuckle of his own. He got out of his cool guy pose and began to walk past the human.  “I’m going to grab your clothes and put them in the dryer.  Feel free to take a seat in the kitchen, human, I shall join you momentarily!  Please partake in some snacks, if you would like.”

If this WAS a date, he needed to be flirty.  Oh, if only Frisk were here to give him pointers! Perhaps he could add some extra flavor to the sauce of conversation with a zesty little compliment? “We have an excellent selection today, thanks to a special someone!”

Should he wink?  That was a playful and sexy thing to do on a date, right?!  Papyrus maneuvered the malleable bone of his eye socket in a desperate attempt at one.  He wasn’t sure how great it looked, since he didn’t have eyelids, so he accompanied the gesture by saying “Wink!”  He did it twice for good measure. 

The human blinked at him for a moment, before they broke out into a lobsided grin, a light dusting of color painting their cheeks.  “O-okay.  Will do, Papyrus.  I’ll be waiting for you!”

Aha! The red was back! His Sexy was working!! Barely suppressing a grin, Papyrus made a beeline for the bathroom with a spring in his step.  Perhaps he should dab some MTT-brand Bishie Cream behind his ear while he was up there for good measure.  Any available boosts to his Dating Power were welcome ones!  Well—he had to remind himself, he wasn’t ENTIRELY sure if this was a date.  But he had a feeling, deep down in his bones, that it at least could be.

You had come downstairs from the bathroom after spending a bit of time changing into the clothes Papyrus had provided.  His “Cool Dude” shirt seemed to be another custom creation—the “Cool” was clearly written in sharpie.  You chuckled at the cheesy basketball pattern on the sleeves.  It was so comfortable, too.  And really big on you.  Sometimes, you forgot how sizable and imposing Papyrus really was.  Although he had a large personality to match his height, he was so approachable—to you, anyway— that the menacing aspect of his height was forgotten. 

He gave you some breathable shorts to wear as well—luckily for you, although Papyrus was huge, your skeleton friend was all bone, so they fit you pretty well.  You had to fiddle with the jawstring to get it just right, but it worked.  God, it didn’t even look like you were wearing the shorts given how large the shirt was.  The thought made you feel a bit lightheaded.

After taking one last lingering look at your new outfit, you made the journey down the hall, past Papyrus’ room and towards the stairs.  You squinted amusedly at his “NO GIRLS ALLOWED! NO BOYS ALLOWED! PAPYRUS ALLOWED!” sign over his door as you walked by, complete with police tape and a stop sign.  What kind of secrets was he hiding in there?  You hoped Papyrus would show you one day.

You padded your way down the stairs just in time to see Papyrus poke his head out of the archway that connected the living room and kitchen, his mouth opening to greet you.  Your eyes met, but instead of speaking, his jawbone snapped shut without a word.  He simply stared at you for a moment. You felt your stomach tingle pleasantly with the way he drank your appearance in.  His eye sockets widened as his face glowed a pleasant tangerine.  You could feel yourself heating up under his gaze.

The heavy, electric atmosphere that came to settle between you two began to dissipate as Papyrus leaned awkwardly against the doorway—a mass of shifting limbs and jutting angles.  Your heart was full of tenderness.  What a goof.

--

After he told you to make yourself comfortable in the kitchen while he went to put your clothes in the dryer, you were determined to do just that as you walked through the entryway.  Your steps halted almost immediately however, as you gawked at the appliance in front of you.  A sink.  A sink so tall, you thought you could probably walk right inside its cabinet door as if it was a regular door.  Taller than Papyrus, even.  Wha—why on Earth was it so comedically tall?! 

You peered around at the rest of the kitchen.  The rest of the countertops and appliances were normal.  It was… just the sink.  Okay.  Although you were very curious, you decided to ignore that for now and go sit down at the table in the corner.  You’d have to ask Papyrus to fill you in on what was up with that. 

Your heart felt full as you noticed Papyrus had arranged your snacks into a neat little pile on the kitchen table.  You considered eating some, but your stomach was a bit too nervous at the moment, so you decided to sit and wait for your skeleton friend to show back up.  Or, was friend the right word?

That expression he gave you when you walked in… were you interpreting that correctly? After doing some soul-searching in the shower, you came to the conclusion you probably had a bit of a crush on the skeleton.  It seemed he might like you back.  But how could you be one hundred percent sure?  You had never been in a relationship before; you had never confessed to someone, or gone on a date—you had no idea where to start, or what to do! 

Besides, it could all be in your head, after all.  Who’s to say Papyrus even LIKES humans like that?!  It would make more sense for him to want to be with a nice skeleton monster.  Maybe he was just reacting to your awkward weirdness with more weirdness.  Or, maybe he thought you were sick or something.  A frown pulled at your lips.  How could you know for sure?

Before you could come to any sort of conclusion, the skeleton appeared before you once again.  “All right, human!  Your attire has been retired to my laundry room,” he stated with a small bow in the archway between the living room and kitchen.  “Now.  Let us commence the cooking!”  Papyrus clapped his gloved hands together sunnily and made his way over to the absurdly tall sink, humming a little tune as he did so.

“Hey Papyrus?”

“Mm yes?”

“Why’s your sink so tall?”

“Ah, so you’ve noticed! I modified it myself!  Do you like it?”  The skeleton looked to you for approval.

“I’ve never seen a sink like this one before,” you replied, “I think it’s neat!”  At that, his eye sockets sparkled happily.  

“Thank you, human!  Having such a tall sink is extremely advantageous—it’s so I can fit my collection of magic bones underneath.  Would you like to take a looksee?”

“Oh. Sure!”

Papyrus swung open the door to reveal a sizable pile of bones inside. There was an odd rustling sound, and you were about to ask Papyrus what on Earth that was when the answer revealed itself.  A white, fluffy, familiar dog poked his head out from the pile of bones, gnawing on one and looking very pleased with himself.

Before either of you could properly react, the dog locked eyes with you.  He leapt out of the cabinet, scurried across the floor, and tackled you to the ground, licking your face relentlessly.  Papyrus let out a horrified gasp. “YOU!!” 

You fell to the floor as the creature nuzzled into your face with slobbery kisses.  “Hi buddy, I missed you too,” you laughed, giving an occasional ‘ptbbt’, as you tried to keep his white fur out of your mouth.  You heard Papyrus click his jaw in annoyance.

“No, no, NO!  That is a FRESHLY CLEANED HUMAN!  You get off my human THIS INSTANT,” Papyrus yelled, rushing over to remove the dog from you.  The second his hand reached your fluffy friend, the weight on your chest lifted instantly. 

Not because Papyrus pulled him off, but because the dog vanished into thin air.  There was a ‘pop’ sound, and then he was gone.  Papyrus, hands frozen mid-scoop, widened his sockets in surprise. “NYEH?”

“Uh…?”

You blinked, trying to make sure you were seeing correctly.  Papyrus looked at his empty clutches, processing what had just happened.  His eye sockets scanned around the kitchen. “The dog is GONE,” the skeleton said incredulously, a scowl painting his face.

“Doggone it,” you added with mock-frustration, peering up at Papyrus playfully from where you sat on the floor. 

Papyrus stared down at you, his sour expression dissolving into one of amusement as he placed a hand on his frontal bone and gave a little ‘nyeh heh heh’, although you could tell he was trying to suppress it.  “That was pretty good, human.”

“Thanks.”                                                                                 

“I hope that’s the last we see of that meddlesome creature tonight,” Papyrus huffed good-naturedly.  He offered his gloved palms out to you, which you took graciously.  He pulled you easily to your feet.  Instead of letting go, Papyrus squeezed your hands in his.  Your heart fluttered as your gaze darted from his cheekbone, to his pristine jaw bending in a tender smile, finally lingering on his sockets. 

“There you are, human,” he said with a hint of delicate emotion you couldn’t quite place as he gazed right back, his skull unusually close to yours. Papyrus promptly broke the spell by snapping back to his full height and making a sound reminiscent of a person clearing their throat. 

“ANYWHOMST,” he began as he withdrew from you and strode back over to the sink. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. “What a little menace!  First he eats a bunch of my bones, for the umpteenth time, might I add,” Papyrus began, looking into the cabinet and grimacing, “and then he knocks you to the ground— AGAIN—and disappears before he can face consequences for his actions!”  He shut the cabinet with a satisfying click and rolled his eye sockets.

“That’s very rude of him,” you commented.

“Indeed,” Papyrus sighed before glancing around the kitchen shiftily.  “Stay on high alert, human.  I can’t shake this feeling in my bones that this is not the last we’ve seen of him for tonight.”

“Will do, captain!”

“Thank you, my loyal lackey,” Papyrus nodded, giving the sink cabinet a final pat and twirling back to face you again. “All right!  So!  SPAGHETTI.  Are you ready to begin?”

“Yes!”

“Fantastic!”  Your skeletal friend summoned two aprons from his Dimensional Box.  “First, we need to wear the proper apparel for such an event,” Papyrus explained as he handed one to you.

It was white with little blue bones in a variety of shades drawn all over it.  In a large, fancy font that was very obviously written in sharpie, it said, ‘Bone-Appetit’.  You grinned goofily as you put it over your head and tied it.  “Papyrus, did you make this?”

“Why yes, I did!  Both of them, in fact.”

“I love it!  You have a real talent for this stuff, Papyrus.”

“Ah—thank you, human,” your skeleton friend replied merrily as he tied his own apron around his midsection with acute precision.  His had a variety of orange hearts drawn on it that matched the current shade of his cheekbones.  The slogan on the front read, ‘Kiss the Cook’.

Kiss the cook, huh?  Well, you certainly wouldn’t say no.  Your ears burned at that thought. 

“I can’t wait to show you my passionate cooking strategy!  It is sure to sweep you off your feet! Perhaps, even woo you!”  Papyrus opened a drawer and procured a giant cooking pot.  “Could you please grab the spaghetti from the second cabinet to your right?”

“Of course,” you replied to your favorite skeleton.  Wait, what did he just say about passion and wooing you and all that? You fumbled with the spaghetti box, nearly dropping it.

“Good catch, human!” 

You mumbled a “Thanks” before placing the box of spaghetti beside the pot, ears burning.

“Would you like to be in charge of filling the pot with water? It’s one of my favorite parts of the process!”

You turned to look at the absurdly tall sink.  “Um.”  Even with Papyrus’ extreme height, you weren’t exactly sure how either of you were going to reach the faucet.  “How do you get up there?”

“Do not fret!  The Great Papyrus is here to assist you!  Here, take this.”  The skeleton handed you the pot.  He then held out his arms to you and beckoned you closer.  You were about to ask what his plans to reach it were before he scooped you into his arms bridal style.  You felt an odd weightlessness and your surroundings blurred.  Suddenly, the sink was eye level.  Was he… levitating?  You angled yourself so you could look at Papyrus in utter astonishment.

Instead of offering any sort of explanation, he merely chuckled and said, “We have successfully scaled the mountainous sink!  Truly, our greatest adventure yet.” 

You smiled at that, before putting the pot under the sink and turning it on.  The two of you waited for it to fill.  There wasn’t much to focus on other than the strong arms that carried you, or the gentle thrumming of his soul beneath his ribcage.  He was so warm, too.  Despite being a few feet off the ground, you felt completely safe in his grasp.  You leaned the back of your head against his ribcage, closing your eyes and reveling in the feeling of being held.  You were grateful that your position hid your face from Papyrus, because you could feel your cheeks grow increasingly warm with every second you were cocooned to his chest. 

After a moment you opened your eyes again and glanced at the ground far below you.  It was strange—although Papyrus was floating, it felt almost like he was on solid ground.  Suddenly, you thought back to something Papyrus had mentioned when you had first met.  “Hey, Paps?”

“Yes, human?”  Papyrus answered, squeezing you in his grasp ever so slightly.

“I thought the laws of gravity weren’t so easily bro—”

“Oh DRAT!  Human, did we buy salt at the store!?”

“Oh, um,” you began, a bit startled by the sudden urgency in his voice, “no.  I don’t think we did.”

“Curses! All pasta makers know that salt is the key to a great dish! Hmm, perhaps we have some in the house somewhere.  I will have to look.  I hope we aren’t all out!” 

“I can help you look if you want,” you offered. 

“Your help is always appreciated, human,” Papyrus smiled.  “Of course, we can make our spaghetti regardless if we find it or not, but it would be significantly less perfect.”

After the pot was filled and grabbed once more, Papyrus deftly lowered the two of you back to the ground.  He set you back on the floor, and the second he did, you already missed the warmth of his arms.  You placed the pot on the stove, and the skeleton beside you turned the heat up. 

“The more intense, the better!” Papyrus cranked the stovetop knob on the highest setting possible.  “With our powers combined, we shall make the most delicious spaghetti known to humankind and monsterkind alike!”

“Heck yeah we will,” you said excitedly, helping Papyrus gather the pasta sauce ingredients together.  The two of you started prepping your meal, moving to the rhythm of the pouring rain pattering on the roof.

Chapter Text

The pasta was bubbling over in its pot, and you looked at it concernedly.   “Um, Papyrus?  Do you think we should turn down the heat?”

“Oh, do not worry your lovely little head about it, human!   This is how it is supposed to look!  Undyne always says, “maximum heat is maximum power, and maximum power IS MAXIMUM PASSION,” he shook his fist with heroic conviction, “— and that is the key to great cooking,” Papyrus confided.  “And then, she always gives a bone rattling war-cry!  Like so.”  The skeleton took a wide stance.  “NGAAAHH,” he yelled, holding the spoon in the air like a spear before aggressively charging towards the stovetop and stirring the pasta with enough force to send little noodles and hot water flying.

“All right, if you say so,” you laughed.  You decided you’d let Papyrus do his thing.  Despite your misgivings, he seemed as confident as always.  Maybe this was a common monster way to prepare food?  You were the guest after all, you didn’t want to step on his skele-toes.  And, it was pretty fun to watch.  You smiled to yourself.

“I do say so, yes indeed.”  Papyrus glanced your way with upturned eye sockets before putting down his spoon.  “Okay. It is now time to create the sauce.”  He gingerly placed a cutting board next to the tomatoes and knife sitting on the counter.  “Would you like to do the honors?  Or shall I?”

“Go right ahead Papyrus—you’re the pasta expert here,” you grinned at the skeleton beside you, who puffed up his chest at your comment.

“Well, I can’t argue with that logic, nyeh heh heh!”  He rolled up the sleeves on his immaculate black turtleneck with theatrical finesse.  Papyrus placed all seven tomatoes on the cutting board at once, moving the knife out of the way.    You were about to question his discarding of the knife, but before you could, he began to speak.

“Here we go human!  Watch this,” Papyrus declared, raising his fists.  “NYA-HAH,” he bellowed, his leather-gloved hands a blur as he slammed them down.  The ground rumbled, your teeth rattled, and dishes clattered from the force of his attack, the overflowing spaghetti pot clanking and spitting foam from its place on the stove.   Tomato guts splattered onto the walls, your face, the counter—everywhere.  Your mouth hung open at the sight of the absolutely eviscerated veggies before you.

You knew Papyrus was strong, but dear God.  That was impressive.  He was usually so gentle, but…  With a single slam of his fists, he could deal some massive damage.  If he could destroy tomatoes like that with such ease, what else could he destroy?  If he wanted to, maybe… you.  You shuddered at the thought, a thrill running through your spine. 

Your favorite skeleton was positively beaming, eye sockets gauging your reaction. When his eyes met yours, your soul nearly leapt out of your throat with how hard it was beating.  You desperately chased the image of a certain someone effortlessly pinning you against the wall out of your head.  You took a deep breath as you felt your entire body heat up; no doubt it was about as red as the tomato on the wall as you struggled to speak. “Whoa.  That… that was—” 

“Impressive, wasn’t it?”

“Yes! Yes, that was insane!  You’re… you’re amazing Papyrus,” you breathed. 

The skeleton in question’s eye sockets widened in surprise.  He was always so stunned when you affirmed how great he was. And to see him get wound up whenever you did…!  It was incredibly endearing.

Papyrus knew just the amount of force needed to reduce the Hit Points of every organic ingredient to about a quarter of a single Point, which he had discovered was the best consistency for spaghetti making purposes.  The tomatoes were no exception. 

He’d thought the human would be impressed, which they truly seemed to be, but there was something else.  The emotion he saw in their expression was one he had never really seen before, and certainly one he didn’t expect.

The way the human looked at him made him pause, unspoken words dying on his teeth.

He observed their eyes.  The way their large, round, hypnotizing pupils seemed to overtake the color of their iris he so adored.

The way a subtle smattering of rosy color had made its way from their cute little ears to their oh-so soft looking cheeks.

The way their lips slowly began to part…

He drank in the sight for a moment.  It was simply delectable.

His bones trousled softly with an odd anticipation as a strange warmth grew from his ribcage down to his sacrum.

It befuddled him, the erratic way his magic began thrumming through him with a warm exhilaration.  It was quite… enjoyable.

He was suddenly acutely aware of their close proximity to one another, but oddly, it wasn’t close enough…?

They were a reputable shoulder’s length away, and Papyrus found himself shifting a tad bit nearer.  It was a bit uncouth of him, but in this moment, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Was the human’s expression a tactic of flirting?  Because it certainly seemed to be a very effective one!  The look was so subtle; so simple.  How could he know for sure?  Desperation for an answer clawed inside his ribcage as he tilted his head towards his companion’s.  Clearly, it was something he needed to scrutinize further.

“I’m so very glad you enjoy my passion, human.”  Papyrus smiled down at them, giving a tasteful “Wink”, his sockets locked onto their smoldering eyes.  His gaze began to roam however, as he wished to perceive every detail of the human in this moment.  He was suddenly acutely aware they were wearing his clothes and his apron. 

It was almost as if the human was his.  The thought made Papyrus’ magic crackle fitfully, and he had to fight himself to not let his bones shudder with satisfaction.

Scanning his sockets over their face at their new heightened proximity, he noticed they had chunks of tomato stuck to their cheek.  Papyrus’ bonebrow quirked as his warm, rosy feelings were doused with the cold, grey sludge of shame.

Ugh, how could he be so careless?!  He should have calculated the trajectory of the tomato splatter—judging from the position of the cutting board compared to the position of his companion, if he had angled himself a few centimeters to his right, the human would have been spared a pulpy fate!

Papyrus internally berated himself for his sloppiness as he closed the distance between himself and the human, bending his knees to get a better look at their face.

He was undeniably within the human’s personal bubble at this point, but his soul cried—get closer!  Get closer! 

Papyrus, being the respectable monster that he was, definitely did not lean in a little nearer than he had to.  He certainly did not soak in the human’s bright expression and intoxicating human-y smell that he knew oh so well.  Because frankly, that would be a bit weird of him, wouldn’t it?  Especially if this wasn’t really a date.  Papyrus’ soul plummeted at the thought. 

If only the human would give him a concrete sign!  SAY something—like a cheesy pickup line, or that cool clicking noise with the finger guns Frisk had shown him that one time!

But no, his human was just here, being their normal, charming self. 

He cherished the human so much.  On the off chance that Frisk was wrong, he didn’t want to drive a romantic wedge between their friendship!  So, he would perhaps stick to throwing mildly flirty gestures at them, and hoping they would take the hint and either profess their love, or tell him to kindly back the hell off! 

Although, if he had to back off, Papyrus might just go insane, with all his pent up…!!  Er. Magic?  Feelings?  Both?? What he felt for the human, he didn’t quite have the words for, exactly, but he felt it so strongly and terribly his very body ached.  As long as the human was near, he felt as if he could lift an entire school building and throw it into the stratosphere!

Papyrus inhaled deeply, trying to calm his erratic soul.

Maybe he should say something before he lost his head.  But, how could he risk losing the human as a friend should they not return his feelings?!  Oh dear, he was getting stuck in his own internal monologue again. Focus!                                                                                                  

“You’ve got a bit of tomato on your face human.  Here, allow me.” Papyrus brought a spindly hand to cup the human’s cheek. 

He could feel through his gloves how delightfully warm they were, and caught himself wishing he wasn’t wearing gloves so he could feel their soft flesh beneath his phalanges.  He hesitated for a moment, watching the human’s eyes dart to where his lips would be if he had them.

Papyrus made a sharp intake of breath as he tried to still the odd thrill he felt in his soul at the human’s action. He brushed away the offending tomato paste with his thumb, feeling a bit sweaty.

At least, that’s what was supposed to happen.  Instead, Papyrus left an even worse red streak in its place.  “Wha—?”  Papyrus’ grin stretched in a frown as he flipped his gloved hand over, only to discover it was entirely covered in tomato, far worse than what lay on the human’s cheek. “Curses!  How could I have missed such a thing?!”  Papyrus’ frown deepened as he wallowed in the shame of his ineptitude.

The human looked up at him with mirth in their eyes, and gave an amused huff.  It was infectious and his dour mood dissipated almost instantly.  He pressed his forehead against his human’s, giving a small chuckle and shook his head.  The human grasped one of his tomato-y hands and squeezed gently, as if to say, ‘It’s okay.’

He jolted upright with an “Oh!” as he finally had the bright idea to wipe his soiled glove on his apron.

Papyrus internally cringed at himself.  Wowie, he was a bit spacey today.  Why couldn’t he get it together?  He did NOT need to mess up on the Not-So-Date-y Date of all days—not more than he already had, anyway.

He stifled his sinking thoughts by looking into the human’s eyes.  They were always a pleasant distraction.  He found comfort in the way the human beheld him. They looked at him as one might look at a perfectly cooked lasagna—eyes sparkling with pleasure and awe.  He didn’t deserve it!

He returned his skeletal hand to the human’s cheek, soaking in and memorizing the location of every pore and crevice to be found there.  They were like a piece of art.  His soul, which had been fidgeting about in his ribcage, began to settle into a more relaxed rhythm as monster and human observed one another. 

He really should paint them sometime; they’d be the perfect subject.

“There we are,” he said, a triumphant lilt to his voice as he successfully removed the tomato guts with a gentle brush of his thumb.  After wiping his hand on his apron again, he couldn’t help but return it to the human’s cheek.  He traced small circles around their jaw, cleaning up any stray bits he’d missed, of course, but also marveling at the suppleness of their skin; so delicate.

Papyrus was filled with the intense urge to squish their fleshy face! He brought his other hand to the human’s other cheek, and gave in to his impulse.  “You’re all clean!  And looking absolutely perfect,” he cheered, molding their face into a smile.

“Fanks for your help, Papyrus,” the human slurred, giggling as he continued to smoosh their face in his hands.  Papyrus’ soul grew twice its size in that moment, and he fought the urge to squeal in delight.  Great Surface above, how was it possible to be so cute?!

“Has.  Has anyone told you you’re absolutely adorable?  Because you are.”   The human looked stunned at his comment.

“Um, I don’t know, I—um, thank you.” 

“No need to thank me, I am just stating facts,” Papyrus said as he booped their funny little human nose. 

A sharp sputtering from the stove caught his attention.  The spaghetti in the pot had foamed and boiled over to the point where there was only a quarter of water left, and the smell was getting rather… intense.  Smoky, one might say.  “Oh dear!  We need to finish the sauce quickly,” Papyrus announced, “before the spaghetti runs out of water!”

“Are you gonna squash the rest of the ingredients like you did the tomatoes?” 

“If you so desire,” Papyrus said, looking at the human from the corner of his eye sockets, a sly smile forming on his skull. 

“Yes!!  Do it,” they shouted happily.

“With pleasure!”  Papyrus ran over to the counter and grabbed a head of garlic, crushing it between his phalanges.  The human gave a whoop of praise, which made Papyrus feel as if he could conquer the entire surface with his fists!  His bones rattled jubilantly as he gave a confident “Nyeh heh heh! Why, thank you.  There’s much more where that came from, human!”

You cheered him on as he decimated ingredient after ingredient with his fists.  It was cathartic to watch him crush things between his hands with ease.  You transferred the pulpy tomato mess to a pan along with everything else Papyrus destroyed, and began to simmer it on the stove.  You gave it a stir every now and then, but you were transfixed by the sight of Papyrus’ meticulous violence against vegetables.  He even crushed up peppercorns between his finger to sprinkle delicately into the saucepan, to your delight.

The two of you were so distracted you didn’t notice the spaghetti pot’s water had completely evaporated until a foul smell hung in the air.  You coughed on the thick coating of smoke as Papyrus turned his skull towards the source.

“Oopsie doopsie!  I nearly forgot about the noodles!”  Papyrus turned the heat off for the spaghetti, before looking to you, wiping his dirty hands on his apron.  “Thank you for being my sous chef for the evening, human!  Would you please do me one last final favor and add the sauce to the spaghetti?”

“Of course!”  You went over to the large pot on the stove with the saucepan.  Your nose twitched at the strong burning smell.  You weren’t too sure how good this was going to taste.  At least you had faith the sauce was good!  And if it wasn’t, you had a million snacks Papyrus bought you to keep you from going hungry. 

You poured the sauce into the pasta.  You stirred it all together, wincing at how the texture of the spaghetti went from rock hard to mushy in some parts.  “Um, Papyrus,” you began, not really wanting to finish your statement, but knowing you probably should, “I think this spaghetti is a little, uh… Messed up.”

“Ah, excellent perception, as always, human!  It sure is, I agree completely.”  You sighed in a mixture of relief, and remorse for not keeping a better eye on things.  You were about to apologize before Papyrus began speaking once again.  “It’s because it’s missing the finishing touch!”  You blinked in confusion.  “It’s missing…” 

Papyrus ran to a cabinet and opened it up, pulling out a container of—was that glitter?!

 “MTT Brand Sparklez Divine All-Purpose Anime Glitter!”  Papyrus held the container above his head as if it were sacred.  “This gives the spaghetti a little kick!  Some powerful pizzaz!  A little sparkle, you might say!”  Papyrus tried his best to wink for the umpteenth time that night. “Nyeh heh heh!”

 You stared at the bottle as the skeleton gleefully unscrewed the lid.

“Uh, Papyrus, is that safe to put in the—"

Papyrus moved to sprinkle them in.  The inner cap flew off and splashed violently into the pasta-sauce slurry, causing the entire FULL container of sparkles to slide straight into the pot with a hearty ‘sploosh’.  Sauce and glitter splattered the walls, countertops, and Papyrus himself. 

“Drat!” 

There was a sudden ‘FWOOSH’ as it promptly caught on fire.  All the stray pasta hairs around the stove from your violent pastamaking joined the flames, and then the paper towel roll to the side of it.  Then the window curtains, and the counter, and drawers— before you had time to blink, the fire crawled over a third of the kitchen.

“WHAT THE—?!  BUT I TURNED THE BURNER OFF!?”  Perspiration beaded on Papyrus’ skull as he backed away from the flames, herding you behind him and closer to the entryway.

You began to panic. “PAPYRUS!  This isn’t good, you need to put it out right now!!

“INDEED!  Undyne always says fire is a good thing, but this is TOO MUCH!” 

YES!! YES, IT IS,” you yelled back.  “Do you have a fire extinguisher or something?”

“AFFIRMATIVE, to your left,” he yelled.  “Hand it to me!” You found it, grabbed it, and placed it in Papyrus’ outstretched hand.  He promptly sprayed it all over the stovetop and the neighboring area. 

Instead of white foamy substance coming out and saving the day, it erupted a ton of rainbow confetti.  Which also promptly caught on fire.  “GODDAMMIT SANS!!!”  Papyrus screamed. 

The fire had taken up most of the kitchen, and you began coughing and sputtering.  You shakily pulled out your phone, sweaty fingers hovering over the screen.  “I’M GOING TO CALL 911,” you shrieked over the roaring flames.

“NO, it’s all right!  I’VE GOT IT!”  He held out a skeletal hand and the absurdly tall sink cabinet burst open, and from it, hundreds and hundreds of bones flew forth, battering the burning countertops with vicious clanks and clatters, but most importantly, completely smothering the flames.

The fire was out.  With a flick of his wrist, Papyrus used his magic to force all the windows open, letting the smoke escape and you to breathe more freely.  The cold, damp air from the thundering weather outside helped make the heat of the house bearable. 

The both of you breathed a sigh of relief, taking a moment to calm your nerves and process what just happened. 

“Wowie.  I sure am glad the Annoying Dog didn’t steal TOO many of my pre-prepared bone attacks, or that could have been really, really bad.  Worse than it already was, in fact!” Papyrus scrutinized the wrecked kitchen before turning to you, his skull covered in a layer of soot and sparkles, wearing a winning smile that didn’t quite meet his eye sockets.  “I… did not plan for that to happen.”

There was an earth-rumbling thunder and crash of lightning, before everything went dark.

The power was out.  The kitchen was eerily silent, save for the violent pouring of rain from outside.  Now that the windows were open, it amplified the sound.  You stood there, unsure what to say, or do.  You expected Papyrus to pipe up and say something, but he was quiet.  Something felt… off. 

“Are you okay, Papyrus?” you asked into the darkness.

“Yes!  I’m perfect!  Er, well, not perfect.  But I…”  The skeleton trailed off.  Your soul dropped in your chest.  Something was wrong.

“Papyrus?”

“How unexpected!  Nyeh heh heh…” He laughed weakly.  A frown tugged at your lips at his tone.

“Papy?  Hey,” you began, reaching out in the dark until you felt the fabric of his turtleneck brush your fingertips.  You trailed down to his bony hand, and took hold of it.  “You can talk to me, you know that, right?”  You squeezed his hand firmly.  Papyrus gave a pained intake of breath.

“It’s just…” Papyrus seemed to be struggling with his words—rare for him.  You gripped his hand tightly again, rubbing small circles with your thumb.  After a moment, he squeezed back tentatively. 

He was quiet for a time.  You could tell he was struggling with what to say. 

You simply stood by his side, and held his hand in yours, drawing hearts into the side of his hand with your thumb.  You would wait until he was ready.  Always.

After a bit, you heard Papyrus’ bones crack and shift as he straightened his posture.  He clenched your hand, tightly.

 “Oh, human…I wanted our first at-home-hangout-session to be perfect, but this is… far from it, I’m afraid,” he spoke, his sentences shaky and fragile.  “I hope you can forgive me.”  His broken tone sent spears of sadness into your heart.

“Papyrus.”  You spoke firmly yet gently.  “There’s nothing for me to forgive.  You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because I am having a perfect time.  With you, I always am.”

“H-human, I—you—how??  Are you sure?!”

“Yes, I’m sure, silly.”  You wound your arms around Papyrus, bringing him into a hug.  He stood ramrod straight for a moment, before slowly returning it.

“But even before we got to my home, I was messing things up! I got you yelled at, I forgot your umbrella, I didn’t give you my coat to keep you dry, and THEN once we got here, I couldn’t provide you clothes that fit, I bungled the spaghetti, I got tomato on your face, I started a FIRE for Surface’s sake, I—” Papyrus babbled, but you cut him off.

“It’s all right!  None of that is your fault!  Well, maybe the fire was, but my point is…  Don’t blame yourself, Papyrus,” you said, bringing your hand up and down his back in a soothing motion, lightly tracing the indents of his ribs and spinal vertebrae through his sweater. 

“But it is my fault, if I only—”

“Papyrus,” you said, grasping for his face in the dark.  Your hands eventually rested on either side of his jaw.  Turns out his blush was glow-in-the-dark—you could make out the faint outline of his face, although the soot and glitter caused it to be splotchy in some places.  It reminded you of the full moon.  Mesmerizing and beautiful, just like him.  “Is that really what you think?”  His silence served as your confirmation.  “I promise I’m having a good time.  Pinky promise.” 

He tilted his head.  “A Pink ‘E’ promise?  What is that?”

“It’s a human tradition where you wrap your littlest fingers around each other.  It means you have to tell the truth. Like, an ultimate confirmation that you’re being serious about something.”  You held out your pinky to him.

“Ah, I see.”  Papyrus’ eye sockets began to glow in the darkness—he was using his eye sockets like flashlights.  How smart!  Now he really could see.  “I didn’t know humans were capable of such interesting magic techniques!”  You decided not to comment on that, for now.  “All right.”  He wrapped his pinky bone around yours, and you curled your finger around it. 

“I pinky promise, I am having a good time.  You are a wonderful friend, and host.” 

Papyrus stood, stunned for a moment, before pulling you even closer, tentatively resting his chin on your head.   His neck vertebrae rattled quietly as he gave a soft hum.  He spoke your name, sending warm delight into your very soul.  “Your reassurance means a lot to me.  I am so very glad.”

You felt a soft pressure at the top of your head.  Did he—did he kiss the top of your head with his magic invisible lips?!  You began to feel a bit lightheaded.  Could you even ask?!  No.  It would be mortifying if you asked and it turns out he didn’t.  So, you were just going to sit there and think it.

“You know, human,” The skeleton began, voice small and barely audible over the roaring rain outside, “aside from my brother—er, on rare occasions… I’ve never really confided in anyone before in this way.  I don’t like bearing negative emotions to people.”  You felt Papyrus’ jaw shift slightly on your head.  “It’s… awfully ‘cringe’, as the cool kids say.”

“Wha—hey! Having feelings isn’t cringe,” you replied, looking up at him.  “It shows that you’re just a person!  A dude in the world who has thoughts. Valid and understandable thoughts, who cares about things.  You know?  I could never label you as cringe for that, Papyrus.”

Papyrus blew air out of his nasal cavity amusedly.  “I suppose.”  He brought his hand up to cradle the back of your head, holding you into his body snugly.  “Perhaps you speak truthfully…?”

“I promise, I do.”  You closed your eyes, savoring the hug.  Papyrus smelled like usual—clean notes of vanilla, calcium, and notes of something you couldn’t quite discern— deep and spicy, hidden just under the surface.  The pastamaking supplemented just the slightest hint of garlic to his scent, and the fire definitely added a strong layer of smoke. You found you enjoyed it.  “Do you want to do another pinky promise to confirm that?”

“Hmmmmm,” Papyrus pondered, his bones vibrating with the sound.  The impromptu face massage made you smile goofily. “You know what?  Yes.  Yes, I would.”

--

The fire, thankfully, only singed the dining table a little, so all the snacks you had bought were safe, albeit a bit warm, and melty in some places.  The two of you decided to make a meal out of all the goodies you had gotten, and took your dinner into the living room instead.

It was nicer, in a way, because now, you and Papyrus could watch the rain fall in torrents from the couch while you ate.  The two of you sat facing each other. There was a large window with a jutting lip where you could put your food if you weren’t in the mood to hold it anymore. 

The two of you admired the downpour as you ate.  Occasionally, there would be flashes of lightning, and the two of you would rate them on a scale of one to ten on how scary they were. 

After a particularly stunning clap of thunder and strike of lightning that shook the ground below you—

“OOH!  That one! That one was definitely a ten out of ten.”

“I agree completely with you, human,” Papyrus chuckled tenderly.  Out of the corner of your eye, you could see he wasn’t looking out the window, but instead, at you.  You turned to meet his gaze.  The warm ember glow of his eye sockets contrasted with the dreary colors surrounding him made him look so very warm and inviting compared to the rest of the world.

You were painfully aware of how his kneecap touched your own.  Your soul ached to do something brave.  After steeling your courage, you shifted so your shins and knees were on top of his femur.  He glanced at you meaningfully.

“Silly human, this part of the couch is already occupied by yours truly!”   

“I know.” There was silence for a moment.  The place where you two were connected buzzed with electricity.  His glowing eye sockets bore into yours.

“Ah.” Papyrus said, shifting his gaze back towards the thunder outside, his cheekbones glowing rather strongly. 

He didn’t move away, so maybe that was a good sign?  You reveled in the closeness as you pondered your next move, the sound of the pouring rain like a blanket over the both of you. 

After a moment, he spoke again.  “Er, human, if, perchance, theoretically, if this was more than just a ‘hang out’ session between two ‘bro’s, would you say the day is still going well…?”

Oh.  He beat you to it.  You were suddenly grateful for the cover of darkness that surrounded you, because you were positively heating up. 

“Of c—”

You suddenly felt an odd shift in the atmosphere behind you that made your heated blood run cold. A deep voice rattled behind you, dangerously close.

“Sup.”

You yelped and nearly jumped ten feet at the air at the unexpected sound of a voice you didn’t recognize.

“SANS!  You scared the human,” Papyrus yelled, temper flaring.

Chapter Text

So this was Sans. Before today, you had only heard snippets of his deep voice in the background during your daily Papyrus phone calls, and your mind had conjured up a tall and imposing skeleton to match it—even more so than Papyrus even—but when Papyrus shined his eye lights on his chuckling brother, you were surprised to find he was just a short, stout little skeleton in a condiment-stained sweatshirt and basketball shorts.  He seemed chill, although you kind of resented him for killing the moment.  Your cheeks were hot with embarrassment.

“Quite the rager out there, huh?  I thought I’d check up on ya.”

“Sans, that is entirely unnecessary.  I am a responsible adult, and can handle a mere thunderstorm with ease, thank you very much,” Papyrus huffed, crossing his arms. 

Sans stood in front of his brother, silent, before one eye socket flickered on like an old basement light, illuminating a very sooty and sparkly Papyrus in a light blue hue.  Papyrus flinched—whether it was because of the light, or getting caught in his unkempt state, you weren’t sure. Probably both.  Sans raised an eyebrow.   A grin still plastering his face, Sans turned from the two of you and made his way over to the kitchen.  He paused for a moment, scanning his glowing eye socket over the damage.

“Uh huh,” Sans said, disbelievingly.

You grimaced, shame rising in your stomach.   “I’m really sorry about your kitchen.  If there’s anything I can do to help repair it, or um, help pay for it, or…!” You trailed off, rubbing your hand on your neck.  You didn’t have much money, or experience with repairing kitchens, but you sure as hell would try for these two! Sans turned back towards you and Papyrus, eye sockets crinkling with mirth.

“Nah, it’s all good, Papyrus and I can handle the repairs no problem with our magic.  ‘Sides, our kitchen goes up in flames about once a week, so don’t sweat it. Usually isn’t this bad though,” Sans scratched his chin, toothy grin getting wider.  Papyrus scoffed at that.

“Well, MAYBE if someone hadn’t loosened the cap on my glitter, AND replaced the fire extinguisher with confetti, it wouldn’t have been so bad!”

“Heh, my fault, totally.” Sans sauntered back over to you two.  You blinked, the rush of new information taking a moment to process.  “I wish I could’ve seen the look on your face, Paps.  Bet it was pretty funny.”

“I can assure you, it was NOT."

“Aw, lighten up Paps, I knew you’d have everything under control.  Don’t you agree,” Sans said before mentioning you by name and looking towards you.  It took you a second to answer as the shock of him already knowing who you were wore off.

“Uh, I won’t lie, that was a pretty… intense prank to play on him,” you said, trying to force the concern out of your voice with a light tone.  You then quickly added, “But, yeah.  Even though I was scared, I trusted Papyrus to keep me safe, and he did,” you replied earnestly. Papyrus made an odd, choked noise at your statement.  Sans’ permanent smile stretched wider at that, before he held out a bony hand to you.

“Don’t think we’ve officially met.  Nice to meet ya.  The name’s Sans, if you didn’t already catch that.”

“Nice to m—” you put your hand in his, and immediately, a long, drawn-out fart noise filled the air. 

Sans began chuckling uncontrollably.

“Really, Sans.  REALLY?” Papyrus grouched, but you could hear the amusement in his voice.  Against your better judgement, you found yourself laughing, too.   “You two are utterly embarrassing,” he sighed lovingly.

Sans helped the two of you find some candles and lanterns in the pantry, and set them up all around the house.  The amber glow of the mismatched lights made it feel nice and cozy.  Of course, Papyrus’ bright smile brought upon a similar effect.

He refused to bring you home in such awful weather with the power out, so you’d be staying with the skeleton brothers for the night.  You weren’t complaining at all—you would MUCH rather spend time here with friends than in a powerless, sodden apartment all by yourself.

You and Papyrus both wiped yourselves down with towels as best you could, removing as much soot and grime as you could manage.  Papyrus provided one of his flannel nightshirts for you to wear, and a comfy pair of cotton socks. The fresh smell of Papyrus that surrounded you as you pulled the shirt over your head calmed your nerves and brightened your soul.

Papyrus himself wore the bottom half of the flannel set he had given you, accompanied by a t-shirt that read, ‘Bone to be Wild’, with a flaming skull wearing sunglasses painted in red glitter paint below it.  Another one of the skeleton’s DIY creations that made you smile.

Sans decided not to change, and instead took a little nap on the sofa as the two of you got into your comfy clothes.

Papyrus suggested the three of you play a boardgame to pass the time, to which you excitedly agreed to.  Sans wasn’t as eager, but eventually gave in, saying “Ey, I guess I could, play along,” he said with a wink, and a playful “Oh my god, that was terrible Sans” from Papyrus.

Papyrus grabbed a magic-powered hot plate out of the pantry, along with a tea kettle.  He placed them on the coffee table in front of you before leaning down and resting his large, warm hand on your shoulder, eye sockets observing you in such a fond way it made your soul flutter.

“Human, would you like any hot beverages to warm you on this chilly Autumn night?”

‘Um yeah, you,’ your brain supplied helpfully.  You felt your ears burning as you pretended you didn’t think that.  You hummed thoughtfully.  “What’ve you got?”

“Well,” Papyrus began, spinal vertebrae crackling as he returned to his full height and regrettably removed his hand.  “Let me take a looksee!”  He began rummaging through the singed cabinets in the kitchen. “We have some golden flower tea, some hot chocolate, or I could warm up some milk, or Gatorade!  Whatever you’d like!”

You thought for a moment, before replying with the choice that sounded best to you.

“Coming right up,” the tall skeleton declared jovially.

As Papyrus began to prepare your drinks, you and Sans arranged a small pillow fort for the three of you to sit on with a clearing in the middle for whichever game you chose. To your side sat the coffee table, where mismatched, quilted coasters sat, lovingly placed there by Papyrus for when your drinks were ready.

“Y’know, Paps is really good at Pictionary.  We should play that.” 

“Oh, Pictionary?  I haven’t played Pictionary in ages! That sounds fun.” you thought back to when your family played together—how many years had it been?  Three?  Four?  A melancholy feeling began to stir in your stomach as Papyrus strolled over carrying a tower of blankets.  He picked the dark purple quilt from the top, and wrapped you up snugly.  “O-oh. Thank you,” you replied, breathing in the scent of crisply laundered linens.

He squeezed your shoulders firmly, yet tenderly.  A pang of longing shot through your soul.  If only he could stay right there…! “Of course, dear human,” he began before straightening up, leaving you missing the skeleton’s warmth as he made his journey over to Sans.

Once he got across the pillow fort, Papyrus unceremoniously dumped a blanket on top of him.

“Heh, thanks bro,” Sans snickered, voice muffled from under the blanket.

“Yyyyep,” Papyrus replied flatly before promptly turning away. 

You giggled at this, wrapping the plush Papyrus-smelling quilt closer around you, feeling warm inside and out.

“What a storm, eh?  Doesn’t seem like it’ll stop anytime soon,” Sans commented as he lifted the blanket from his eyes, he and his blanket having somehow appeared on the couch to stare out the window in a matter of seconds.  A flash of thunder illuminated his ever-grinning face.

“Yeah,” you agreed.  “It’s kind of nice, though.”

“I’d have to agree,” Papyrus said as he moved to peer out the window next to Sans, wearing a thoughtful look.  He glanced your way briefly, a delicate smile forming on his skull.

--

“Pictionary, you say?” Papyrus pondered, as he placed a piping hot mug near you, Sans, and himself, and gingerly took a seat on the floor between the two of you.  “I do adore that game as well!  But usually, it requires teams,” he uttered sadly.  “And seeing as there are only three o—”

Before Papyrus could finish his thought, a familiar, little white dog began fading into existence next to you, a pencil in his mouth, breathing erratically and slobbering excitedly.

Papyrus’ eyes bugged out of his head—a rare but absolutely hilarious sight.  Sans and you shared a similar delighted expression.  You couldn’t help the string of giggles that started piling out of your mouth, and neither could Sans.

“I—WHAT?!” Papyrus looked as if he was about to tell the dog to get lost, but stopped as he looked from your pleading face and back to the dog.  Instead, he took a deep breath and continued, “You know what?  Okay.  All right.  Sans, meet your new teammate.”

“Heh, cool.”

“Welcome, buddy!”  You cheered, ruffling the dog’s head.

The dog vibrated joyfully.

--

Sans wasn’t kidding about Papyrus being good at Pictionary.  For each round he did, it was always abundantly clear what he was supposed to be drawing.  The skeleton created masterpieces with his dry-erase marker and whiteboard—shaded beautifully too!  You mourned that you couldn’t keep them for your own.  It pained you to erase them.  You snapped pictures of all your favorites, much to the flustered embarrassment of Papyrus himself.

“Papyrus,” you breathed, looking from him, to the insanely accurate portrait of the dog slobbering next to you he had created. “You truly have a gift.”

“Nonsense,” he asserted.  “The Great Papyrus’ artistic skills are merely a product of repetition, run-throughs and rigorous drills!  Nothing more!  With enough time and practice, anyone could draw like me, nyeh heh!  It’s truly nothing special.”

Sans, Annoying Dog, and you all exchanged a knowing look of doubt.

That statement sent Sans into a tangent where he told you and Annoying Dog how his brother had painted a bunch of rocks to look like a huge wooden bridge in their old home in the Underground, and he’d done such a good job, no one would’ve guessed it was a bunch of rocks and not an actual wooden bridge. 

Sans brought out his phone, and after some scrolling, showed you a picture of Papyrus in a color-stained tank top in a snowy cavern, surrounded by paints and brushes, wiping sweat off his brow.  He was halfway done converting a long strip of grey rock into a wooden masterpiece. 

“What.”  You pinched your fingers on the screen, zooming in on the completed half of the bridge.  Even though you logically knew the bridge was just a rock, it looked so believable and intricate you would’ve believed him if Sans told you the picture was photoshopped.

“Papyrus.” You stared at the skeleton, slack-jawed.  “How are you real?”  Papyrus began to sweat.

“I, er, I don’t—"

“And don’t even get me started on the snow sculptures!” Sans chimed in.

“Oh!  Snow sculptures?  Do you have pics of them, too?”

“Yeah.  I’ll have to find ‘em,” Sans said, scrolling through his phone.  “Bet you’d love Papyrus’ self-portrait—”

“All RIGHT, Sans!”  Papyrus, who had gotten up to fill his brother’s mug, stomped his foot as an orange hue tinged his cheeks.  “Please, brother, I know my talent is unending in your eyes, but perhaps we can talk about this later? It is your turn, after all.”

“Oops, heh.  My bad.”  Sans didn’t seem sorry at all, and neither were you.  You looked at Papyrus in awe.  The white dog stared at you, and then Papyrus, and nodded, looking almost proud.

You weren’t the best artist out there, but along with his gift for creating art, Papyrus had a gift for identifying your crude drawings. The two of you swept the floor with Sans and the Annoying Dog; the two of you perfectly in sync.

On the other side of the pillow fort, Sans drew stick figures and the same few amorphous blobs every time.  The Annoying Dog got much more enjoyment from making fun of Sans’ ‘cringe fail’ drawings than giving real answers (you had given him your team’s extra whiteboard to communicate with), which you had to admit, was pretty funny. 

The dog was far better at drawing than a dog had any right to be—you were considerably impressed.  But Sans wasn’t keen on giving very good guesses, either.  Truly, a horrible combination.

When you played again, you called having the dog on your team.  Although Papyrus mourned losing you, he seemed content to have his brother on his side as opposed to the meddlesome canine. 

You couldn’t help but notice the way Papyrus would stare at you when he thought you weren’t looking as you played.  Or when Papyrus would pass the drawing board to you, how his gloved phalanges would brush against your own for a brief moment.  This shift in him was subtle, but strong—it nearly made your soul short-circuit.

After a few more games, jokes and japes, and plenty of mugs’ worth of Warm Beverage™, you began yawning, and soon the three of you realized the Annoying Dog was nowhere to be found.

Game Night officially came to an end.

“Welp,” Sans began, rubbing his hands together, “Guess that’s the end of that.  I’m bone tired. I think I’m gonna go get some shuteye.  You two can keep having fun, though.”  He winked while he said his last statement, and you couldn’t help but feel like maybe he was insinuating something.

Papyrus turned to you, excitement lighting up his features. “Oh, human!”  Despite it being extremely late, he showed no signs of tiredness at all.  It was very impressive, if you were honest.  “Perhaps I can read to you excerpts from my quantum physics book as we sit together on the couch? Whenever I read it to Sans, it knocks him right out!” 

“Well, to be fair, everything knocks me out,” Sans chuckled as he sauntered out of the kitchen with ketchup in one hand, and a hot dog in the other.  You did a double take.  Wasn’t he just by the stairs a second ago?  You shook your head.  Either Papyrus was more distracting than usual, or you really needed to go to sleep.

“True…”  Papyrus rubbed his chin.  “Or, we could read one of my favorite bedtime stories, human!  There’s ‘Advanced Puzzle Construction for Critical Minds,’ or ‘Peek-a-Boo with Fluffy Bunny’!”  The juxtaposition between your options made you blink.

“P- Peek-a-Boo with Fluffy Bunny’?”  You asked.

“Ah, excellent choice,” Papyrus said, clasping his hands together brightly. “I shall go retrieve it!”

Papyrus quickly surpassed Sans on his way to the top of the stairs.  Before he entered his room, he stopped to look back at you.

“Ah, and do not worry about my bones stabbing you.  Although they look sharp and intimidating, I assure you this situation is the same as my magic lips!  You will be comfortable, I promise.”

As soon as the words ‘magic lips’ left Papyrus’ mouth, Sans paused.  Turned towards you, and raised a bone brow.  It was the deepest, most questioning bone brow raise you had ever seen in your life. 

You felt you’re your ears and cheeks burn under his gaze.  How could you possibly explain what that meant?!  Now Sans had an idea in his mind, and you weren’t sure how to feel about it other than a bit horrified.

After an excruciatingly long moment, Sans’ scrutinizing ended, and he let out a small amused breath and shook his head.  He opened his jaw (for the first time?! You weren’t sure he could do that) and tossed his entire hotdog inside the black void of his mouth, following it with a hearty squirt of ketchup from the bottle. 

“I’m tired.  Don’t have too much fun without me,” Sans waved a lazy hand in your direction and retreated up the stairs.

“Goodnight Sans!”

“Sleep well, brother,” Papyrus called as he passed his brother on the stairs, book in hand.

“You know I will.” Sans’ door clicked shut. 

The two of you were silent for a moment, a sort of electricity filling the air.

Being alone with Papyrus again filled your soul with butterflies.  You never did get to finish your confession, did you?

There was a moment of silence where the two of you simply stared at Sans’ door, unsure what to do next.  Papyrus scratched his neck vertebrae self-consciously before turning to you.  “Well, I suppose I should clean up the living room best I can!  Make yourself comfortable on the couch, my tired little human, and I’ll be back in a jiffy!  It shouldn’t take me too long.” 

You nodded, and made your way over to the couch.  You fluffed up the pillows and laid yourself down with the quilt cocooning you.  You would’ve been completely comfortable, if you couldn’t hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

Papyrus flitted about, placing the mugs, snacks, and game into their proper places as you closed your eyes, willing your soul to stop stirring so restlessly.  You didn’t need to be nervous.  You were with Papyrus, after all!  Your closest friend.  And maybe more than that.  Your soul thrummed erratically again at that last thought.

You sucked in a breath as you heard an empty-handed Papyrus approach you, his jaunty step and telltale jostling of bones unmistakable.  Opening your eyes, you sat up to greet him, being met with a winning smile in return.  You sat up and scooted over so the skeleton would have room to sit beside you.  He grabbed the book from the coffee table and did just that.

The couch dipped as Papyrus cozied himself next to you, smoothing out the cover of the bedtime story.

“Well, here it is! ‘Peek-a-Boo with Fluffy Bunny’!  We should get reading right away so you can sleep- I know how terribly important sleep is for humans, and—”

“Papyrus,” you interrupted, “before that, there is something I’d like to talk to you about,” you began, unable to meet his eye sockets, but hyperaware of how the side of Papyrus’ solid arm pressed into your own.

It was a stabilizing presence.

“Ah,” Papyrus answered, drumming his phalanges on the book in his lap, before gingerly placing it back on the coffee table, “Does it perhaps pertain to the conversation we were having before my brother arrived?”

“Yes,” you smiled.

“Oh, GOOD.”  The relief in his voice was palpable.  “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it all night!”  Papyrus said with such a pout in his voice, you finally looked up to meet his gaze. 

His eye sockets were large and round and soft and locked on nothing but you.  Your soul clenched with a warm bubbly feeling. 

You brought your hand out from your quilted cocoon and placed it on his cheek bone.  Papyrus gasped at the contact, before nuzzling into your touch, eye sockets sliding closed as he placed his large, warm hand on top of your own to keep it there.

After a moment of reveling in each other’s presences, Papyrus broke the companionable silence.

“If you don’t mind me asking, erm, about tonight being a date, did I understand correctly that—”

“Mhm,” you breathed, “I like you.”

His eye sockets shot open.

“Romantically?”

“Yes,” you confirmed, amusement coloring your tone. “I think that if this was a date, it was a good one.”

“R-really?! Wowie…” Papyrus muttered incredulously as he lifted your hand from his face, cradling it like the most precious thing in the world, before having it rest between the two of you. He laced his fingers with your own.

It seemed The Great (And Verbose) Papyrus was speechless yet again this fine night.  But this time, the silence was full of unspoken words of adoration. 

“Honestly, I don’t know how I would’ve gotten to know you, and not develop a crush!” At that, the skeleton beside you made a strangled noise.  You squeezed his hand.  “You’re wonderful, Papyrus.”

“Oh human, I—” Papyrus began, before pulling you into a fierce hug which you easily returned.  “I could say the same thing about YOU, you know!!”  He placed a hand to the back of your head, bringing you impossibly closer to his chest. “Surface above, I feel like the luckiest skeleton alive right now,” he said, voice rumbling into your ear.

You and your skeleton embraced one another.

“Can I make it official?  Will you be my boyfriend?”

Papyrus’ grip on you tightened and you let out a little squeak as he fully pulled you into his lap, burying his face in the crook of your neck.  “YES!  Yes, one thousand times, yes!!”

“AH!  Papyrus, stop, that tickles,” you laughed, playfully shoving his skull off of you. 

“Oh, sorry about that, human.”  Papyrus pulled away a bit to peer down at you.  “You’re simply irresistible, you know that?” 

Your face heated up with the intensity of a thousand suns, and you looked away, willing your embarrassing blush to disappear. 

Papyrus placed his hand on your chin, and gently guided you to look at him once more.  His expression was intense; focused.  Watercolor orange bloomed across his face. 

“Human,” he murmured, unsure.  “This might be terribly forward of me, but…May I kiss you?”

Your heart stopped for a moment.

“Yes.”

In an instant, his skull met your face.  Papyrus was right— his magic cushioned your lips against the hard bone of his teeth.  It was a quick little kiss, light and sweet.  It made your soul nearly leap out of your chest.

Papyrus added to it with a little “Mwah,”  before pulling apart and beaming at you.

“Did you like the sound effect? I can’t actually make much noise when I kiss since I don’t really have lips, so I thought I would mimic the classic sounds of two flesh-based individuals having a romantic moment, as is the usual societal norm!” 

 You pulled him down with a goofy grin and sprinkled kisses all over his face.

“Nyeh heh heh—hey—no fair!  I want to be kissing you too,” Papyrus said, as he started peppering kisses all over your face, at the same time. 

At some point, your mouths met in the middle and the two of you shared a long, slow kiss that left your lips tingling with Papyrus’ magic as you pulled away to peer at his adoring face. You grabbed his skull down for another round. It was an addictive feeling.

You sighed contentedly against Papyrus’ teeth.  In that moment, everything was right with the world.

Chapter Text

The feeling of his human’s soft lips against his magic was absolutely intoxicating.

They sat in his lap, straddling him. Again and again their oral orifices met, Papyrus doing his best to mold himself to his human’s malleable mouth, earning pleased sighs and whines for his efforts that made his bones rumble with a carnality that matched the way his magic thrummed around him.

Each kiss was relief—ages of pent-up feelings finally released to wash over them both.  In its place was a new, exhilarating crackle in his core that wished for more. 

He cupped his perfect human’s face with both hands and crammed it needily against his mouth, deepening the kiss, caressing their head and weaving his gloved phalanges through their hair.  Their hands, which were splayed on his chest, began to grip his nightshirt.

The way his human clung to him made his soul (and something else, which he’d rather not acknowledge) swell achingly. 

His magic-made tongue slipped wetly inside their mouth. Papyrus inhaled sharply at the feeling as the human gasped.

Warm and velvety and so incredibly human.  His human.  It was wonderous in every way. 

Reading about such a kiss in the Dating Manual was one thing, but doing it was a completely separate enchilada.  One that Papyrus was eager to eat until there were no crumbs left.

His love pulled apart for a moment to breathe, and Papyrus had to restrain himself from immediately closing the gap. “P… Papyrus, you..!”

“Yes?” he asked, voice low as he pressed their foreheads together.

“I,” the human replied, a lobsided grin in their breathless voice, “didn’t know you had a tongue.  That’s really hot.”

“Indeed,” Papyrus said, rubbing circles into the small of their back, “I do.  And you know what else is hot?  And addictive and magnificent and heavenly?”

“You?”

“Wha—No!”  Papyrus’ grip on the human tightened as he fought the urge to pin his human down on the couch, cage them in with his body and smother them in love.  “It’s YOU!!”

“That’s very nice of you to say, but you’re better,” his darling replied, planting a kiss on each of his cheekbones.

“Oh, human,” he groaned, intending it to come out admonishingly, but to his mild chagrin, it sounded more desperate than anything.

“Oh, skeleton,” they responded, rubbing their nose against his nasal bone. He playfully nipped at it, earning an indignant squawk from his human.  Jollity crinkled his eye sockets.

He began positioning himself to give the human another string of kisses, but stopped himself—a responsible part of his conscious screaming to wait!!

It was very, VERY late into the night, and as much as Papyrus yearned to continue, his human couldn’t keep going forever.  A twinge of guilt rose in his chest.  They must be so terribly tired, and he didn’t want to be the reason the human wasn’t able to wake in the morning. 

He wanted them to be well rested just as much as he wished to ravish them!

With a longing sigh, he put some distance between his skull and his human’s own.

“All right.  My dear, it is getting terribly late.  We should probably stop.  As much as I would love to keep going,” he continued as he sat up, lifting the human to sit at his side, “it wouldn’t be very advantageous for future you to be awake for much longer.”

“I guess you’re right,” his human sighed.  “That was… really nice, though.”

“I completely agree with that sentiment,” Papyrus nodded, planting a gentle ‘mwah’ onto the top of their head, pointedly not drinking in their flushed face and mussed hair and how absolutely delectable they looked in that moment.  “Objectively speaking, it was very pleasant and sexy and we need to do it again sometime.  But for now!”  Papyrus straightened his back vertebrae and leaned over to grab his book.  “It is time for a bedtime story!  Get comfy, human. Our tale shall begin soon.”

--

Despite a rather rocky middle point, Papyrus had to admit: this day was going FAR better than he could’ve EVER imagined! As he turned the page of ‘Peek-a-Boo with Fluffy Bunny’, the human—his human, he reminded himself, soul filled with pride, rested completely on Papyrus’ shoulder, eyes heavy.

Oh, how terribly distracting they were!  Papyrus nearly lost his place in the book several times, a cute yawn or funny quip from his human drawing his attention fully. 

Not to mention, the feeling of them pressed against his teeth, hot and longing, found its way wandering back into his mind, and Papyrus had to chase it away every time.

Luckily, Papyrus was a master of multitasking, so his datemate would not have to worry about shoddy storytelling from a terribly smitten skeleton!

Although Papyrus wanted the human to appreciate the narrative intricacies of his favorite bedtime story, the need for them to get a good night’s rest was far more important.  He toned down his usual theatrics, doing his best to lower his volume as he went along.

Before he could even reach the end of his fable, he felt the added weight and telltale sound of a snore from beside him.   His human was sleeping.

Papyrus placed the book down silently, at the same time sending a whoosh of magic throughout the room to dispel the light of the candles and setting his eyes aglow once more.

His next mission was to extract himself from the sleeping human without waking them!  He delicately laid the human down on the full length of the couch, grateful that he had moved all the jangling coins out from underneath it the night before.  Papyrus stared at their snoozing form with fondness.  He couldn’t help but place a small kiss to their forehead.

“Mm, Papyrus?”  the human asked, squinting into his eye lights and voice full of sleep.  Curses!  He had woken them.  He scolded himself for being so careless.

“Yes?”  Papyrus answered.

The human’s arms reached towards him, a pleading look on their face.

“Stay?” 

Papyrus inhaled sharply from his nasal cavity as a giddy feeling buzzed through his bones at their words. 

They wanted him to stay? 

Even after all this time, having someone appreciate his company was such a novel concept to him. To hear that from the remarkably benevolent and gentle human next to him especially, truly felt like a gift. 

“Of course,” he replied, honey dripping through his words. “Where would you like me to situate myself, my sleepy little human?”

“Wanna lay on you,” they said, a lazy smile creeping onto their face. 

Well. Who was he to deny his human?

--

There Papyrus laid, a human blanket sleeping on his sternum.  His arms wrapped securely and lovingly around their slumbering form as he stared into the darkness above him.  It was quite comfortable.

But Papyrus had never been one to enjoy sitting in comfort for too long.  He needed to be in a constant state of motion.  Otherwise… 

Papyrus’ eye sockets bore holes into the ceiling.

As lovely as it was to feel the weight of the human on top of him—to breath in their delectable scent and listen to the pattering of rain outside, he couldn’t deny the seed of worry planted within his chest.  His fingers traced patterns across the human’s spine, soothing his nerves somewhat as he let out a small sigh. 

He did not sleep. He could not sleep.  He couldn’t risk it with the human so close.

Papyrus hadn’t slept fully for so long, only taking quick power naps when he felt so utterly exhausted, he might Fall Down. 

He couldn’t stomach the thought of sleeping— not when EVERY time he allowed himself to, he was plagued by… less than pleasant dreams.

Perspiration formed on Papyrus’ brow as he tried not to think about it. There were much better things to occupy his mind, anyhow!  Quantum mechanics, what his rankings of the top 100 types of pasta were, how the rain was coming down so hard it almost sounded like static…

That’s it.  The noise was relaxing.  So was having the human on top of him.  Their body was like a giant pillow, and radiated a gentle heat that warmed his bones. 

He drew hearts on their back as they slept.  His own personal canvas. 

His own personal human. 

Papyrus smiled fondly. He decided that his human belonged right there, in his arms, from now until the eventual heat-death of the planet. 

Even if a part of Papyrus wished he had the power to blip to another location in the blink of an eye like his brother did and avoid the possibility of falling asleep, he wouldn’t have the heart to.  Papyrus couldn’t leave his human all by themselves.

They had asked him to stay, after all, and so he would! He would not violate the sanctity of their request.  He would do anything for his human.

His sockets were beginning to burn, and feel heavy in his skull—months of sleepless nights finally catching up with him, it seemed.  Papyrus grimaced at the thought.  He didn’t like that. 

Against his better judgement, he shut them, just to rest them; to feel relief for a moment.

He wouldn’t fall asleep.  He just had to stay alert, and…

…

Melted faces, arms reaching out, hissing, bubbling sensation on the delicate bone of his phalanges and metacarpals. 

Snap.

Crack.

Papyrus crying out from the agonizing pain of it.  Of losing himself.  Of losing… him.

An explosion.  The twisted wailing of dying monsters.  Memories that weren’t his flashing before his eyes. 

…Memories he wishes weren’t his. 

Guilt.  Regret.  An eternal sadness.  Sickening fear.   An endless void from which there was no escape.

Papyrus woke in a silent scream as he screwed his eyes shut and took a shaky breath, willing his soul to stop beating against his chest with such ardor he felt he might be ill.  His hands burned and chafed against his gloves with phantom pain.

He sat up a bit and hugged the slumbering human closer.  He was fine.  It wasn’t real and there was no logical reason for those dreams, he reminded himself.  There was no need to dwell on such awful things.

Papyrus mentally slapped himself for allowing himself to even permit such thoughts and images to manifest in the first place.  How could he be so thoughtless as to fall asleep?!

Despite his inner turmoil and admonishments, the images wouldn’t leave.

Couldn’t leave. 

They were seared into his very cranium and refused to leave.

Papyrus tried to focus on his breathing.  Calm the erratic magic. 

Inhale. 

Exhale. 

Quietly, as to not wake the human.  Quiet.  Quiet quiet quiet.

His human raised their bleary head towards him.

Drat! His uneven breath and strangled hammering of his soul had given him away.  Shame knotted within him.

“Hey,” they said, voice scratchy with sleep and laced with concern, “Papy. You okay?”

“I…” Saying ‘Yes, of course I am!’ came to him so naturally.  It was so easy to deny. But that’s what Papyrus always did, wasn’t it?  He thought back to the vulnerable moment he shared with the human right after the fire. 

Should he be honest?  A huge chunk of Papyrus said, ‘NO!’ But another part of him yearned, for once in his life, to share.  To not be alone anymore. But, how could he possibly explain it all?  He wasn’t sure where to even start. 

There was so much. Too much. 

Papyrus found himself unable to speak, words dying in his trachea.

It seemed his human could sense his internal struggle, for they simply placed their lips over where his soul shivered anxiously in his ribcage. 

“It’s okay.  I’m right here.  I’m here, Papyrus,” they said resolutely.

Overwhelmed from his dreams and the kindness of his human, tears pricked at the corner of Papyrus’ sockets.  He was grateful for the cover of the darkness.  He didn’t want them to see him cry.  His tears began to fall messily as his companion planted kiss after kiss right above Papyrus’ soul.

Their arms wrapped around him—a pleasant pressure that he returned tenfold.

Papyrus felt a wave of calm wash though him—a sudden sense of safety, calmness, and… oddly enough, nostalgia?  The horrid pictures in his mind were replaced with treasured ones. 

He and the human giggling like schoolgirls on video call in the dead of night over corny memes. 

He and the human dipping their toes into the salty spray of the ocean, eating ice cream in front of a blazing sun.   

The first afternoon the human had let him hold their hand as they crossed the street after a delicious meal at Grillby’s.  

Him grabbing his human and tumbling into a pile of autumn leaves as they shrieked with joy.  

Him rubbing tomato paste off of the human’s perfect face.  

A sense of peace, friendship, and home.

A hypothesis forming in his mind, Papyrus decided to perform a Check on his human.  A green glow from their verdant soul seeped into his own. 

Healing magic.  A soothing balm utilizing the connection between them.

His eyes sparkled with wonder.  Did they even know they were doing that? Likely not, as their knowledge on magic was limited.  To be able to conjure forth such an ability, for him?  His human was incredible.   Simply incredible. Papyrus’ soul swelled with love and awe. 

“Human, I… Thank you.”  Papyrus said, voice small and full of emotion.  He placed a gloved hand to the back of their head, carding through their hair.  “I can’t believe I have the honor of being here with you, and getting to experience your magic.”

“My magic?” the human tilted their head questioningly.

“Yes,” Papyrus confirmed, feeling more relaxed than he ever had before.  “You are simply magical.”

“Mm, thanks,” they said, rubbing their cheeks into his ribcage, “I think you are too.”

“Well, yes!  I am made of magic after all, silly,” Papyrus laughed quietly, leaning up to place a kiss to his human’s head with a little “Mwah.”

“You’re the silly one in this relationship, silly.”

“Hm.  Well, I think it’s silly that only one of us can be silly!”

“Fair point.  I guess we’re both silly, then,” his human snorted good naturedly, placing a kiss to his collarbone with their own “Mwah!” 

Affection bubbled forth from Papyrus’ soul.  He crushed the human to his chest, giggling a string of “nyeh heh heh”s as he rolled from side to side (as best he could on the couch that could barely fit him on it, anyway) as the human squealed happily.

“Oh human,” Papyrus began, “you are so very dear to me.”

He weaved his legs between his human’s, bringing them as close as theoretically possible.

He wished he could live inside this feeling forever.  If only he could fuse their souls together in this very moment!!

“You’re very dear to me too, Papy,” his human responded, cuddling their arms around his ribcage.

Papyrus shut his eye sockets, his soul humming contentedly.

“Hey, human.  Are you aware that you just used healing magic on me?”

“Wh-what?”  Apparently not!  But Papyrus was not surprised.  He had anticipated as much.  How fascinating that they were able to do so with no prior experience!

“Yes! Perhaps you could teach me that particular technique sometime?  It was very nice.”

“Wow, I did? I mean, I had no idea I could even do that, but I’d be down to try and recreate it!”

“Excellent!  It’s a date,” Papyrus patted the top of their head lovingly.

“Heh, sounds perfect to me.”

“I am quite excited!  I myself know a few healing techniques, but none of them are for mental wounds—only physical.  Perhaps we could trade our magical knowledge!”

“I would like that,” his human said, sleep creeping back into their voice.  Papyrus’ gaze softened.

“All right.  It’s time you got back to bed, human!”

“Yeah, I think I can see the sun starting to rise, and I’m not ready to deal with that,” they added with a grimace in their tone. 

“Fear not, my friend-turned lover.  My precious paramour with whom there is no competition,” he began, rolling his ‘r’s, “You will not have to deal with anything you don’t want to while I, the Great Papyrus, am around,” Papyrus professed, raising himself slightly so he could strategically place a hand where his soul lay in his chest to convey sincerity.  “I shall always come to your aid.”

“Heh, thank you.  You know the same goes for you, right?  You’re always there for me, and I want to do the same.”  The human’s tone was serious and full of meaning, and it made Papyrus’ breath hitch. “I’ll be here, forever and always if you need me.”  They crawled up Papyrus’ body, laying him back down to place a kiss on his nose ridge, before retreating to the safety of his broad chest and using it like a pillow.  “I dunno how much help I’d be in a fight, but if you ever want to talk about anything, I’m here.”

“Ah…!  I know, I just…” Papyrus curled his arms around them possessively.  How was his human so perfect?!  He didn’t deserve them. “It… is so difficult to find the words,” he began, slow and stilted.  “There is so much I would like to tell you, human, but I fear I do not know how.”

“Well, I’ll be here ‘til you find those words.  I’m in no rush.  And I want you to be comfortable.  Always.  Tell me when you’re ready, and not a second before then!” Their hand had found their way to his neck vertebrae. They stroked the ridges lovingly, and Papyrus nearly melted.

“I appreciate you so much.”

“I appreciate you too!  Never forget that,” his human chided.

“Sleep tight,” Papyrus said, his voice thick with emotion.

“Mhm, and don’t let the bed bugs bite,” his human sighed, getting cozy once more.

--

Papyrus woke to the sound of Sans rummaging through the burnt remains of the fridge, and the sun hanging low in the sky.

…No more nightmares that night. 

Papyrus actually slept soundly!? Absolutely unconceivable! Brilliant!  Stupendous!

And he had a sneaking suspicion as to who was responsible for his extremely elusive successful snoozing session.

His human, who sat on the arm of the couch with their hand caressing his skull, gave a small “Oh! You’re awake!” and looked down at him as if he was the only person in the world that mattered.  He was sure he mirrored their expression with the way their eyes softened.

“Good morning— er, afternoon rather, my human!”

“It is, now that you’re awake.”

“Oh.” Papyrus’ body tingled with butterflies. He had to wipe the goofy grin off of his face at the human’s words, replacing it with a dramatic frown.

“Ooh,” Papyrus lamented, clutching his ribcage, “My soul!  It aches from your words!  The only cure,” he wailed dramatically, “is a kiss from the most wonderful human in all the land.”  He opened an eye socket to stare at his companion, before coughing, “That is you.”

“Ah yes, anything for you, my love,” they cooed, “Fear not, for I shall heal The Great Papyrus,” they declared, placing a kiss on his forehead.  Papyrus felt his cheekbones ignite, and his bones trousled happily.

“Ugh, get a room,” Sans laughed from the kitchen.

“Get OUT of here, Sans!!  The human and I are having a moment.”