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”Okay never have I ever… Never have I ever never have I ever hahaha. I can’t think of any! Erwin?”
“Ahh hmm… never have I ever stolen something?”
“Nahhh.”
“I don’t have the balls.”
“But you could though.”
“But I’d never! I’ll just get caught.”
There are many words to describe Hange. Four of them being bright, bold, resourceful, cunning, and oh did they live up to those words.
Three things led to this situation: a new favourite movie, a jacket, and a pair of sunglasses.
The first being the movie.
One about a heist and a group of people who ended up getting along for the job to be done, and Hange loved every second of it. So much so that it would be playing in the background while they performed their experiments, did homework, or cooked up a nice dinner at home when they had the energy. Every line, every entrance, every song memorized by heart, sometimes you’d see them mouthing the dialogue as they did there thing in the moment.
We all know how messy they can be, Levi would step in and have the first word on that. But despite how dishevelled they could be with so much on their hands, Hange is quite the fashionable one when they’re in the mood. When not busy with work or whatever concoction they were busy creating in the lab, suddenly the mad lab rat graces the campus halls as if they were the most beautiful and handsome thing in the world, and of course Levi would agree with the latter and former.
Along with their sense of style of course comes the need for comfortability, hence the need for loose clothing. Because with every good pair of jeans or whatever, came a good amount of useful pockets, and with that many pockets of course came the need to either stuff everything like its their replacement for a proper bag or save space to be the sneaky eater they are in class.
Enter the jacket. The oversized navy jacket Levi got for them last Christmas in the same style of the khaki jacket that Hange would borrow from him.
And last, but certainly not the damn least, is a pair of sunglasses. The cheapest quality priced as if its worth your whole tuition, well maybe that’s an overstatement but if you’re a college student on a budget of course anything over 2 digits in this country costs your soul.
And oh how they wanted them. Just a simple pair of black sunglasses with thick cat-eye frames. It was an odd choice, a person who couldn’t see jackshit without anything with a grade and then a pair of cheap ass shades being sold by a well-known fast fashion store we’ll call Achenum.
And so came their constant yearning for cheap plastic, always visiting the store whenever they had time since it was just a train station in the middle of school and their place. Walking through the aisles of clothing, touching all the different fabrics like a child, hanging out by the tall racks of accessories and trying on a pair of those glasses. They’d put it over their frames and stare at themself in the small mirror provided, making the funniest poses then sighing as they returned it to the rack and clacked their heels all the way home. The temptation to just rip the tag and run was getting to them but they knew that was impossible because of a CCTV camera positioned just above the accesories rack.
Wait… how did they know that?
Ohh… maybe they could… no pshhh they wouldn’t do such a thing!
Right?
It was another day after class, no time needed for the lab or whatever extra activities after school so that meant they could take the train early. The floor beneath them bounded as they wiped away sweat beginning to drip down their cheek before shoving their hand in their jacket pocket.
Ha! You’re not even there and you’re already nervous. Don’t be too obvious. Don’t be obvious at all!
They arrived, stepping off the train and taking an escalator that led them straight down to the mall entrance, where the glasses were waiting. While Hange walked their usual route, gazing at new arrivals and whatever, they’d glance at the high ceiling for where the cameras were positioned.
1 by the collumn, 1 by the cashier, and 1 over the accessories racks.
Taking hangers to make it appear as if they were gonna try them on later and slowly making their way to the racks. A small gasp left them as they noticed a few pairs without the security tag. Now’s their chance, but how?
They glanced at the sweater they had in their hand. Black, fluffy, and glittery. Perfect.
They inspected a hat before dropping it to the floor all while using the shoulder of the sweater in their hand to hook the glasses off and slide in into their inner jacket pocket while returning the fallen hat to its place. Their breath hitched as they heard a salesperson approaching and panic started to form in their gut.
No, no, no. What to do next-?
“Excuse me, sir! Do you have this sweater in large?”
“Oh sorry that’s the last one.”
“Okay, thanks!”
And then returned their props and left, slowing down a bit as they passed through the door with no alarms going off.
The next day came and Levi found them in the lab with their usual setup. The neccessary tools and chemicals spread out on the counter, their ipad playing the movie in the back, and Hange once again balancing 3 pairs of eyewear on their head, the only difference being a pair of sunglasses that he knew about since they’d talk to him about it.
“I’m guessing you saved up for it?” He slipped himself on the stool beside them.
“Huh?”
“The sunglasses?”
“Ohh… about that…” They put down the medicine dropper in their hand. “Do you remember when we played never have I ever in Miche’s flat last Christmas?”
He raised a brow. “Yeah, why?”
”Hi I’d like to return these.”
Levi’s attention suddenly turned to Hange’s ipad which was on the shoplifting scene of the movie.
“Hange.”
“Hmm?”
Levi couldn’t even find the words. “Did you… steal-?”
“SHHHHHHHHHHH!” They were about to cover his face when his hand caught their wrist in time, reminding them they had gloves with chemicals on them. “You don’t have to yell.”
“I didn’t yell! You’re just paranoid.”
They peeled off their gloves and paused the movie beside them.
“I’m changing my Netflix password.”
“NO! WHY?!”
“SHHHHHHHHH!” Now it was his turn to shut them up with his hand. “That movie has a hold on you and actually got you to steal something.”
“But you have to admit it is a pretty good movie.”
“True, but don’t change the subject. You stole it and their gonna find you. I know you know that store has cameras everywhere.”
“Yeah and I still managed to get it without being to obvious.”
“Oh really? How?”
And he regretted asking that question as the most expressive face palm happened in front of Hange who went on about how they got away with it.
“You’re forgetting something.” His voice muffled through his hand.
“What?”
“Achenum puts the logo on the inner part of their glasses and you can’t scratch it off.”
“Ahh, well that’s easy.” They’ll pulled the glasses out their hair and dipped a cottonbud in one of the beakers before them. “Just a little acetone will do it.”
“I can still see the ghost of the logo on the plastic.”
“But in time the oil from my scalp will get that off.” They wipe off the excess and put it back in their hair. “And they can’t take their time trying to find me since tomorrow is the weekend and a holiday so they’ll be busy with that, right?”
Levi shook his head in disbelief, fighting back a smile of amusement on his face as he tried to cover it with his palm. He sighed and stood up.
“I’ll wait for you downstairs.”
“Oh, I almost forgot!”
“Hmm?”
They pulled out another pair of the exact glasses from their lab gown pocket and handed it to him. “I accidentally got an extra.”
He wheezed through his nose and a mix of a frown and a smile appeared, staring at them biting back a laugh while he thought of whether or not he should accept it. He took the pair and put in on his head the way Hange did while walking towards the door.
“We’re criminals now.”
“Yes we are.”
“We’ll keep running and hiding for the rest of our lives.”
“Hmph.” He opened the door and was about to close it.
“Maybe we should runaway to my place and have dinner after this. Right, Levi?”
He paused. “If you’re letting me cook a proper meal.”
“Deal.”
And he left finally able to laugh at what just happened as he walked down the hallway with Hange continuing their experiment as the movie played in the back.