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Dorothea’s first thought when meeting Mercedes Von Matriz was big boobs .
It wasn’t one of her prouder moments, but that’s what struck her. Mostly because she was barely managing to stay awake due to late rehearsals and heaps of work. Under a cream knit sweater, they looked like a soft spot she could doze on for a couple of hours to recharge. Knowing Mercedes better now, the caring girl would probably be fine with it.
They were mutual friends of Ingrid Gatalea, an uptight horse girl who Dorothea was 90% sure wasn’t straight, no matter how many excuses she threw at her. The two of them sat on one of the couches in the common area, Ingrid diligently working on a paper due two months ahead and Dorothea half heartedly going over her lines again. Engrossed in the scene, she didn’t even register another person walking up to them and starting a conversation with Ingrid. It wasn’t until her friend harshly cleared her throat that Dorothea looked up to see an unfamiliar face and a pillowy bust.
“Dorothea, this is my classmate, Mercedes. We study together sometimes.”
“Such a formal introduction. We’re friends, aren’t we?” Smiling and letting out a tiny giggle, she seemed sweet. Ingrid slightly blushed in embarrassment. (Dorothea: 1 Straight Ingrid: 0) Mercedes directed her attention to Dorothea. “Well it’s wonderful to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about your singing. I was planning on seeing your last show but somehow lost my printed ticket.”
“They email you virtual back ups.” Dorothea, not having time to put on makeup that morning and feeling inhuman without it, might’ve unconsciously clicked her tongue before saying this. She can’t remember. Mercedes’ eyes widened at the realization.
“Oh, you’re absolutely right!” She tucked a strand of her long, abnormally fluffy hair behind her ear. “Now I feel rather silly.” She sighed, her voice soft and rather high pitched. It was oddly soothing to the sleep deprived Dorothea.
“Don’t.” She quickly shook her head, not wanting to make a girl ever feel embarrassed or uncomfortable, even if Mercedes appeared a bit… ditzy. Silence spread between the three of them. Ingrid steadily typing and Dorothea not knowing what to say next. She took a sip of her latte as an excuse not to speak and recoiled, discovering it had gone cold. She was usually charismatic, flirty, witty, and many other people pleasing traits, but during tech week she just didn’t have it in her. As first impressions go, it was almost shameful. Especially when the stranger was so good looking and smelled faintly of vanilla.
“Well!” Mercedes chirped. “I better head to class. And I’ll be sure to see the lovely Dorothea perform this Saturday.”
Lovely. She was never so affected by that word as she was then. Blushing and looking away, she smiled.
“Thank you.”
-
She had a date that night. A tall brunette with a nice laugh and broad shoulders. Sadly, Dorothea liked men. She wasn’t the slightest bit ashamed of her sexuality. It was more that some of them were so arrogant and pig-headed it made the rest seem intolerable. Luckily, this one wasn’t. He acted like a gentleman without becoming pompous and insinuatingly misogynistic. Plus, he came from a family of doctors, which couldn’t hurt.
Growing up in poverty, with nothing but a voice to keep her fed, Dorothea needed the promise of future financial security. She needed to know after graduating she wouldn’t end up in another shelter. Even though Manuela would never let that happen, those cold pavement nights haunted her every so often. Pleasing men was almost an adaptive trait, a way of survival. Sure, she still had fun, but when the company was gone and she sat alone in her scholarship funded dorm, the loneliness trickled back in. Love wasn’t something palpable. The few times it came close, life decided otherwise. A mattress, a full fridge, maybe even a dishwasher. Those are more important than love. If emptiness was the guaranteed catch to wealth, then so be it.
It was a late lunch date after the matinee. Lucas brought a bouquet of red camellias.
“I honestly don’t know what they mean.” He shrugged as he handed them to her. “I just figured their beauty reminded me of you.” Dorothea smiled in return. A little corny, but sweet. She could add it to the dozens of other bouquets she’d received over the past three nights, most of them roses from potential suitors. She’d set these in the middle of her room to announce their significance.
“They smell good.” She said after a deep inhale. They stared into each other’s eyes for a pleasant moment. Then, someone lightly tapped her shoulder, and being the Madonna that she is, Dorothea quickly turned around to soak up another audience member’s praises before heading off. Standing before her was none other than Ingrid’s friend, Mercedes. The woman beamed at her.
“I loved it! It was incredible, Dorothea. I wish I could watch it again and again!” Mercedes glowed with excitement in a way even the singer’s biggest fans rarely do. “Oh, I simply adore you.”
“You’re too kind, really.” At a loss for words, Dorothea stared at her. She half expected for Mercedes to ask for an autograph.
“It isn’t much, but,” Mercedes presented her with the item she was previously hiding behind her back. “I baked you some treats. I hope you like them.” Even in the carefully wrapped box, the smell of ginger snap cookies wafted towards her. Dorothea, having not eaten before the show in case it would spoil her lunch date, immediately wanted one. Hunger she wasn’t aware she possessed took hold. She had to restrain herself from tearing the box open. Or drooling.
Tucking the flowers in the crevice of her elbow, she gratefully accepted the sweets. It was such a surprise, a thoughtful gift from someone she barely knew. The way Mercedes took time out of her life to bake her something, to probably ask Ingrid what Dorothea’s favorite cookies were and buy the needed ingredients.
“You’re too kind.” She repeated herself, truly meaning it this time. Lucas still stood behind her, watching this unfold.
“Go ahead! Try one.” Mercedes urged. Dorothea turned back to her date, who grinned politely. He was cute. Chivalrous. Knew lots about music. Yet he had gotten her store-bought flowers like everyone else, and compared to Mercedes, they were less impressive than they had been a few moments ago.
“Oh, I didn’t mean to interrupt something. Look at me, babbling on.” Mercedes continued. Their conversations had a history of being one sided.
“No, it’s totally okay.” Dorothea assured her and opened the present. Her eyes couldn’t help but light up after the first bite. “Thethe are amathing.” She exclaimed, not even having the decency to finish the food before speaking again. It was simply imperative she told Mercedes as soon as possible just how good this cookie was. Chagrin, she put a hand over her mouth and finished swallowing. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Mercedes’ eyes crinkled. “I’m so glad you enjoy them.” Dorothea nodded her head in agreement as she hastily bit into another cookie. The batch wouldn’t last a night. “I’ll leave you two alone now.”
Stay . She thought. She felt rude for not saying more, for not asking her to be friends. For not spending the rest of her night getting to know this woman. Though her date was waiting. Her date with money and soft eyes. (Not as soft as Mercedes’, but she’s not sure that was possible)
So Dorothea dismissed the flutters in her heart and said goodbye.
-
Her frigid fingers balled up in the pockets of a brown, worn-out coat. It was one of those days where breath was visible and the cold reminded her she still wasn’t as well off as she’d like to be. Dorothea felt her hands turn numb and wished for a pair of gloves. It wasn’t necessarily that she couldn’t afford them, though there was a point in her life where that rang true, but even now she strived to not buy what she might be gifted. Things like perfume, dresses, or a fancy meal out were usually skipped. While things like toothpaste, school textbooks, and bus fare all came out of her already slim wallet. Though she wasn’t sure where gloves came into the whole equation. Deciding it’d be best to rush to the library rather than idly walk and slowly freeze, she ran straight into Mercedes. The two both staggered back but luckily caught her balance before falling into the snow.
“Oh my, I need to watch where I’m going.” Only Mercedes would apologize for something that clearly wasn’t her fault. There wasn’t a hint of annoyance in her voice, nothing resembling blame. Her overflowing kindness amazed Dorothea every time they came into contact.
Once again, finding herself embarrassed under the soft girl’s gaze, she flushed in apology. Or perhaps it was the cold painting her cheeks pink. Mercedes was pink as well, though she appeared much more bundled up. She dawned a thick scarf, coat, earmuffs, and mittens: all varying shades of blue, along with her gentle smile. Dorothea became a bit warmer just looking at her.
“Sorry about that. I was trying to get out of the cold.” She said sheepishly. And note, Dorothea never did anything sheepish.
“I don’t blame you. It’s terrible out here.” Mercedes nodded. “And you hardly have the proper attire.”
“I guess so” is all she said.
“Here.” A soft fabric suddenly draped itself around Dorothea’s neck. Mercedes smiled as she wrapped the scarf around her. It smelled of sugar cookies and was warm with the heat of another person. Before she could express gratitude or perhaps refuse the gift, Mercedes spoke again.
“I can always knit another one.” She fiddled with the scarf more, trying to lay it perfectly around Dorothea’s shoulders to maximize its potential warming properties. Dorothea usually hated people messing with her style and touching her out of nowhere, but in this instance it didn’t even appear as a problem. As always, her parting words were:
“Thank you.”
-
“What does Mercedes like?” She asked her friend the next day. It made Ingrid raise an eyebrow.
“Why do you ask?”
“Why do you ask, why do I ask?” Dorothea retorted.
“Well,” Ingrid thought for a moment. “She likes baking sweets. And sewing. Any kind of craft, really.” She paused to see if that was enough, but kept going when she could tell by Dorothea’s inquisitive expression she still needed more information. “I don’t know. She’s a girly girl like you. Jewelry and makeup and hair clips.” Her relationship with Mercedes was clearly more than the occasional study session.
Dorothea took all of these things into consideration. How could she combine Mercedes’ interests all into one grandiose gratitude gift? Dorothea wasn’t a very good cook, or a talented seamstress. It seemed unlikely she could make something for her. And less likely she could afford to buy something of any actual worth. Maybe a nice apron, or a scrunchie with a cute pattern on it. Dorothea touched the woven scarf hanging around her neck. There had to be something.
“She’s also pretty religious, not fire and brimstone or anything. More like, ‘Sothis loves me this I know’ kinda stuff?” Ingrid added, but it didn’t help Dorothea come up with an idea at all. She wasn’t about to get Mercedes a Bible. But then what? What could she possibly—oh. Oh, that was perfect! With a quick ‘thanks Ingrid’, Dorothea rushed off to purchase the perfect present.
-
“Mercie!” She called out without thinking. It wasn’t unusual for Dorothea to sprinkle out nicknames. Edelgard was Edie, Hubert was Hubie, even Ferdinand, with whom she harbored conflicting feelings, was Ferdie. It was natural, yet they were all in the same main classes. Mercedes wasn’t, so as soon as she said it, embarrassment hit her in the back of the head and told her to shut up.
Hearing her the nickname and not being bothered by it, Mercedes smiled and walked toward her. Before any proper and unnecessary greeting, Dorothea got straight to the point. If she waited too long to do this, there’s a chance she’d back out.
“I was hoping I could talk to you. Are you busy?” It came out a little desperate.
“I have some time for you.” Mercedes offered.
“Well, I’ve been thinking about what a sweet person you are. Every time we see each other, you put me in a better mood. And all of our classmates think you’re an angel. So I think you deserve something for all you do. It’s not much, but I want you to have this. From me, personally.”
She held out the gift. Mercedes unwrapped it carefully as if not to rip Dorothea’s mediocre packaging job. As soon as she could tell what it was, Mercedes squealed in delight. It was a festive cookie making set that included special shaped cookie cutters, icing and sprinkles, and even an apron with patterned stars of the four saints.
“Wow! This is wonderful! Thank you so much, Thea.”
Thea. No one had ever called her that, and in that moment she didn’t want anyone else to. Just Mercedes.
“I’ll make some for us right away. I bet Annie and Ashe will want to help, too. It’d be perfect for the Blue Lion’s Christmas Party next week. Everyone could decorate their own batch. It’ll be so fun!” She enthusiastically talked to herself. Then focused her attention back to Dorothea.
“Will you visit?” The invitation made Dorothea’s heart skip a beat.
“You wouldn’t mind me joining your class for the day?” Dorothea knew most people in the Blue Lions. The man-whore Sylvain, the asshole Felix, the well mannered yet brooding Dimitri. But there was also her dear friend Ingrid, and now her dear friend Mercedes. The one person who made her palms sweaty in the middle of winter. The one whose lips she’d like to know the taste of.
“We’d love to have you! Please say you’ll come.”
“Yes!” Dorothea couldn’t help herself. “If you want me, I’m there.” Mercedes smiled, enveloping her in the best hug Dorothea may have ever gotten.
-
Dorothea spent more than an hour the night before figuring out what to wear. She wanted something comfortable and classy, while also a little sexy, but not too overdressed. She landed on a tight-knit red sweater, a black pencil skirt, and black tights along with her prized gold hoop earrings. All in hopes Mercedes might compliment her.
When she arrived at Dimitri’s house, everyone else was already there. They all greeted her politely. The freckled boy she couldn’t recall the name of blushed at her, clearly not used to interacting with many women outside of his class. The tall one beside him gave a friendly nod but said nothing.
She thought about how her own class had done nothing this year. Edelgard and Hubert were preoccupied with Edelgard’s campaign, and it wouldn’t be the same without them. As Edie became more absent in Dorothea’s life and obsessed with her work, Dorothea’s longtime crush on her grew faint. Her admiration for her would never die, and her love would never cease. But it seemed as if Edelgard was too busy for her. And it hurt. Now she found herself here.
“Thank goddess, you showed up.” Ingrid grabbed her wrist. “These two idiots have been driving me crazy.” She pointed at what were, in fact, two idiots wrestling on the living room floor. Sylvain was on top of Felix, trying to cram a penis shaped cookie into his mouth. Felix jerked his head around and tried to wriggle out of the situation. Lots of cursing was coming from both of them. This was… interesting. Before Dorothea could even think to say something, a smoke detector went off.
“Oh no!” A yelp came from the kitchen. “It’s fine everyone! Remain calm!” The voice screaming didn’t seem very calm, and it wasn’t one she recognized.
“Annie, how do you burn icing?” Mercedes, presumably also in the kitchen, admonished. Everyone in the living room stood frozen, unsure if they should run outside or believe the girl’s words. After a couple of seconds, the alarm stopped blaring and Mercedes emerged.
“The next batch is almost ready.” She announced, as if the threat of being burned alive wasn’t still palpable. Her eyes lit up as soon as she saw Dorothea.
“You made it!” Mercedes threw her arms around her. “I’m so glad you could come.” She spoke softly into Dorothea’s ear. Her hand brushed her hair. Dorothea could’ve held this pose forever if there weren’t others around. When Mercedes pulled away, Dorothea couldn’t help but ask,
“Is it always this…”
“Insane?” Ingrid finished. “Yes, it is.”
-
For the most part, she enjoyed herself. She learned a little more about each classmate, including their names. They drank a bit, decorated angel cookies, and tore apart the gingerbread chapel Ashe had spent about an hour working on. He didn’t mind. He laughed and ate it with them.
Mercedes had wanted to put on a movie telling the story of Seiros. Sylvain wanted to put on a Skinemax holiday special. They settled on Freaky Friday, which wasn’t a holiday movie at all.
Dedue talked briefly of Duscur, how they celebrated a similar holiday around this time of year. Mercedes said if she had known she would have done something especially for him. Dedue shook his head and smiled.
Felix ranted about his dad. Dimitri gifted them all little lion pins, except Dorothea, which he profusely apologized to, stating he didn't know she was coming. She assured him it was alright.
As the night came to a close, Mercedes pulled her aside into what looked to be a private study away from the main foyer where the group was saying their goodbyes.
“I put this up myself, so don’t tell Dimitri.” She giggled. Dorothea didn’t understand, but, oh . Mistletoe hung from the ceiling fan. Dorothea blushed.
“You want to kiss me.”
“Only if you want to in return.”
“I would love to.” Dorothea glanced at the entrance to ensure no one was around. She turned back to Mercedes, who was as flushed as she was.
It was a chaste peck at first, but both girls non verbally agreed it should be more. Dorothea placed her hands around her waist and pulled her closer. Mercedes’ chapstick tasted of strawberries as their lips fit perfectly together. Something bloomed in Dorothea. This was it. This was what she’d been searching for. Eventually, Ingrid yelled their names from the other room. Every perfect moment must come to an end.
“I hope we can do that again.” Mercedes longingly whispered.
“Again and again and again.” She replied.