Chapter Text
It was a typical morning, in most ways. Jay had coffee ready in the kitchen for himself and Mike, along with eggs and toasted English muffins with choices of butter, jam, honey, or peanut butter to spread on them. But Mike seemed to be falling behind. Jay went into the bedroom to see what was keeping him.
He found Mike standing topless in front of the mirror, but otherwise fully dressed from the waist down, in slacks and dress shoes, his usual work attire. His white dress shirt and blue tie were laid off to the side, on the bed. He turned and put his hands over his bare stomach, sucking it in as much as he could, throwing back his shoulders and sticking out his chest while looking sideways at his reflection.
"Just go to work like that," Jay said teasingly.
Mike jumped with a start, not realizing Jay was standing there. He exhaled, and seemed to deflate while doing so. His shoulders rolled forward into a slouch and his paunch stuck out over his waistline. "You know," he said, turning to face Jay, "I think I'm going to have to buy new pants. I could barely button these."
"Really? Did they shrink in the wash?"
"No," Mike said, and only then did Jay notice the disappointment written all over his boyfriend's face. "I'm gaining weight."
He reached into one of the drawers for a white t-shirt and pulled it over his head. Jay picked the dress shirt up off of the bed and held it forward so that Mike could insert his arms into the sleeves. He sought for the right words to say.
"Mike…you know you're as desirable to me as you always have been."
He stood behind him, slightly off to the side, his gaze fixed on Mike's expression in the mirror's reflection while Mike was buttoning the shirt.
Mike turned to face him. Jay buttoned the cuffs for him, then draped the tie around Mike's shoulders and was going to tie it for him, but Mike began tying it himself.
"I know," Mike said, "and what you think matters to me, but this isn't about that. It's about what I expect from myself. I don't know how I let myself get this way."
Being a gay guy in his early twenties, Jay prided himself on not being just like everybody else, in terms of the world at large, but also when it came to his peers in the gay community. All too often he'd heard other young gay men openly state that they would never sleep with a fat guy, and their idea of "fat" was basically anyone who didn't look like their midsection was collapsing in on itself from hunger. Under that criteria, Jay himself qualified as well-upholstered. Sex was great and all, but damn it, so was food.
Superficial guys threw around terms like "skinny fat" and "dad bod" to denote the type of male proportions that almost passed the "no fatties" test but didn't quite make it, whereas Jay figured out early on that he was attracted to men of all shapes and sizes (Mike's shape in particular).
On the other hand, he also knew that Mike prided himself on how he looked, at least to a certain extent. Jay had been to Mike's parents' house and seen photos of the cute, chubby little boy Mike had been growing up. He once heard Mike say that he always knew he'd never have the kind of body fit to be on the cover of Men's Health, and that was fine with him, but years of exercise and weightlifting had given him ample muscle to balance out the fat, so that his broad-shouldered physique was evenly padded all over.
And now Mike had a belly. Wasn't it to be expected that a man's body would change as he got older? Maybe Mike wasn't ready for that kind of change.
When Mike and Jay had gone to bed the night before, Mike wasn’t…“in the mood”. Was this the reason why?
Maybe there was no need to overthink it. Then again, how had he not noticed a change sooner? Come to think of it, Mike had seemed rather tired lately, a little more worn down than usual. Was it because of work? Maybe it was taking a physical toll.
They would talk about it more later.
Mike ate a mouthful of eggs and one bite of an English muffin, then told Jay he could have the rest. He gulped down his cup of coffee and gave Jay a quick kiss goodbye.
"Have a good day. Love you!" Jay called out after him.
"Love you too," Mike replied, without looking back, and quickly added, "See you tonight," before heading out the front door.