Chapter Text
Soobin gained consciousness that morning and immediately wished he hadn’t.
But apparently his body had a sadistic sense of humor because even though he knew it was a day off and he didn’t have to be up and could for once actually use a morning of mindless sleeping in—here he was. Awake entirely too early and entirely too aware of why it was that he felt so completely drained. He couldn’t even be afforded a moment of peace.
It was kinda miserable. Soobin didn’t even bother opening his eyes; he could tell by the silence around him that it was still despicably early and that he should at least put up a fight to try and fall back asleep.
Turning over to his stomach, he tried to lull himself back into unconsciousness, thinking of sheep frolicking through a field. Maybe if he counted them. One. You’re being selfish. Two. I feel like I’m the only one who cares. Three. Yes! Unfair! Four. Do what? Refuse to—
It was no use. Like afternoon shadows on a sunny day, yesterday’s events were already determinedly creeping into his mind, chasing away any hope of sleep he could have clung to.
Soobin turned to his side, screwing up his face against the flashes of images that ran through his mind. Why did everything feel twice as painful when you were reliving it? When you were able to clearly see the should haves and shouldn't haves that would have maybe led things down a different path—one that didn’t leave him feeling so shitty.
Why had he said that ? Why hadn’t he said that?
He rolled over again onto his back, fingers curled into the duvet. The painstaking replay was just starting up in his head when he felt the covers pull.
There was someone else in bed with him. Squinting his eyes just the tiniest bit (opening them fully would be admitting defeat) Soobin turned his head and looked over. Sure enough, in the semi-darkness of the room he could just make out the clear outline of someone sleeping on their side, facing away from him.
Yeonjun.
Warmth rose up in Soobin. He must have crept in his bed after Soobin had fallen asleep last night. That was the norm for them, but after the way he had slammed his door shut last night, Soobin had thought he was definitely going to be spending the night alone. But maybe things hadn’t gone that bad after all. Soobin allowed himself to hope and closed his eyes once more, scooting closer to his boyfriend until he could snake an arm over his waist.
Maybe he would be able to get some more sleep after all.
Before he could get too comfortable though, he felt Yeonjun stirr.
“It’s okay,” Soobin murmured, “go back to sleep, hyung. I’m sorry.” He added, squeezing him a little tighter.
“Why… What time is it…?”
Soobin’s blood ran cold, completely frozen in place. That sleepy voice hadn’t been Yeonjun’s. In fact, it almost sounded like…
“I have—a-a morning schedule…”
The person turned in his arms and unable to bear it any longer, Soobin opened his eyes. Sure enough, in spite of the low light he could very clearly make out—
“Changmin-hyung?!” he gasped, launching himself away from him on the bed. Panic gripped at him desperately. “What are you—what are you doing here?”
Changmin frowned and also sat up, stifling a yawn. With another pang of panic Soobin realized he was shirtless. Changmin rubbed one of his eyes. “What do you mean? You told me to stay the night. I was gonna leave but—did you not mean it?”
Soobin stared at him, desperately trying to make sense of his words. He hadn’t seen Changmin in weeks. But even if he had, what business did he have being shirtless in Soobin’s bed? It didn’t make any sense. On top of it, there was something different about him that Soobin couldn’t quite pin down.
When Soobin didn’t reply, Changmin leaned closer, reaching out a hand. “Soobinie, are you okay?”
Instinctively, Soobin pulled away from his touch. A look of hurt crossed over Changmin’s face and that puzzled Soobin even further. They’d never had much skinship. He opened and closed his mouth a couple times. “I don’t—what?”
“Soobin. What’s going—” an alarm went off from the nightstand on Changmin’s side of the bed. “Shoot. That’s my alarm.”
While he turned to reach for his phone, Soobin also started patting around desperately for his own. His fingers had just closed on a cold smooth rectangle under his pillow when he realized something else.
He wasn’t in his room. Though it was dark and it was hard to make out much more than oddly shaped shadows, he was sure he wasn’t in his room. His bed was against the wall, not the middle of the room. There was only one window, not two.
“Ugh. I have to go. Our shoot got pushed up,” Changmin said, his face now lit up by the glow of his phone. Studying his features in the blue-ish light, Soobin realized what was different about him. Changmin looked— “Are you gonna be okay? You look so shaken up.”
Soobin blinked back at him, at the concern so obviously written all over his face and managed to somehow nod. He needed to be alone. To investigate where the hell he was. Changmin searched his face for one more moment before leaning in—and before Soobin could even react—pecking his cheek swiftly. “Okay.”
He left Soobin reeling on the bed and finally stood up, picking up clothes from the floor and then getting dressed. The sight made Soobin feel even more nauseous.
Once he was fully clothed, he hesitated on his way to the door. “I’ll call you later, yeah?”
“Bye, hyung,” was all Soobin could muster.
With one more worried look, Changmin slipped out the door.
The panic rose up once again instantly. Was he dreaming? Hallucinating? Everything felt real but it didn’t make any sense. None of it did. Scrambling, he picked up the phone he’d found. It felt lighter and bigger than his own. When the screen lit up and Soobin’s eyes adjusted, his heart only leapt further up his throat.
There, very clearly on his screen it read: 7:41 am. Saturday, June 5th 2027.
June 5th 2027.
2027.
The phone slid out of his hands and he closed his eyes, trying to calm his breathing as he was coming dangerously close to hyperventilating. But no matter how many times he told himself he was dreaming or that his phone must have been glitching or something, the edge of panic didn’t vanish; because in the back of his mind, he couldn’t stop thinking about how the reason Changmin had looked different was because Changmin had looked older.
A sudden thought struck him, and gathering his courage, Soobin opened his eyes and flicked on the lamp on the nightstand. It took him a second for his eyes to adjust but when they did he picked up the phone once more and slid his thumb across the screen to open the camera app.
There, though his features were slightly blurred by the low light, was definitely him. It was him, but it was like looking at a picture of a relative you hadn’t seen in years. A stranger you know you should recognize, feel kinship to even. Familiarly unrecognizable.
It was mesmerizing. He still looked like himself but it was obvious he was years older. His jaw was sharper and slimmer, his hair was honey brown and longer than he’d ever had it. He tilted his head. There were also two new piercings in his ear.
Soobin wasn’t sure how long he sat there simply analyzing himself, but when his screen lit up with an incoming call, he jumped in shock. Taking in the familiar name, relief flooded him and he scrambled to answer it.
“Taehyun-ah,” he breathed into the phone.
“That was quick,” Taehyun’s familiar voice replied. It hadn’t changed at all. “I was sure you were still asleep.”
“No. I—uh—been awake for a while. But listen—”
“Really? Ah, did Changmin-hyung stay over?” his tone took a teasing note. “Should’ve known. Anyways, since you’re up do you wanna meet up at the office and work out?”
“Wait, Taehyun-ah, I know this is gonna sound crazy but—how old are you?”
Taehyun laughed. “What? You know my birthday has already passed, right?”
“I know. Just tell me.”
“O-kay… I’m 25.”
Soobin’s breath caught in his throat. He swallowed thickly. “Taehyunie, listen to me, I need you to come over as soon as you can. It’s important.”
“Hyung? Is everything okay?”
“I need to talk to you. Can you come over, please?”
Taehyun’s voice was now serious. “Ok yeah. I can be there in like 20 minutes, alright?”
“Thank you,” Soobin sighed in relief.
The line went dead, and Soobin took stock. First, he pinched himself just to be absolutely sure, and yup he definitely wasn’t dreaming. He’d never had a dream this vivid or this solid. Had he time traveled, somehow? The last thing he remembered was going to bed in the dorm and the year very much still being 2022.
Speaking of the dorm, he figured he definitely wasn’t in it anymore. Taehyun’s phone call made as much clear. He looked around the room and now in the light he recognized a few of his things here and there. It was definitely his room. Did he live alone now? The idea made him feel strange. He knew in theory that they wouldn’t all live together forever but to 2022-him that idea still seemed quite far away. Something a bit forbidden and off limits he wasn’t allowed to have.
Deciding to explore a little more to try and piece together as much as he could, Soobin peeled the covers back and finally got out of bed.
The room was bigger than his own at the dorms. It was also more wholly decorated than any room he’d ever had, considering the closest he had ever come to interior design was matching his bedspread to his curtains. There were even some paintings hanging up on the wall behind the bed. Now that—that definitely felt grown-up. He walked over to the closet, on the door of which it looked like he had stuck up dozens of his polaroids.
Well, if he had any doubt he hadn’t been in his room, it all dispelled now. There, all over the wooden door and smiling at him from the small pictures, were familiar faces. He even recognized a few that he'd taken recently (a while ago?). His eyes searched over them until they landed on one face in particular and he was forced to take stock on the one thing he’d been dreading since he’d realized it was Changmin in his bed.
Yeonjun.
Soobin reached up and unstuck the polaroid. He didn’t recognize this photo. Yeonjun and Hueningkai were sitting on a sidewalk, arms around each other and throwing up peace signs at the camera. Yeonjun looked incredible but Soobin wasn’t surprised, he’d never seen anyone that aged better than him. In this photo his hair was an icy blue and god his smile was still a walking dream.
Could it be possible? Could they… no longer be together? There wasn’t even a single photo of just the two of them in all of these. It was horrible to think that he’d woken up in a time where they had broken up. Just the idea of it made a wave of pain wash over him. In 2022 they’d been going two years strong and he couldn’t imagine a time where he didn’t crave being with Yeonjun the same way he craved breathing.
(Well, after last night, a time where Yeonjun didn’t crave him didn’t seem so outlandish.)
He stuck the polaroid back on the door. All he could do was hope that this was still some hyper realistic dream and eventually he’d wake up and be in the same home as his loving boyfriend. Until then… he kept looking. More photos of his members, his family, Odi (with a pang, he realized he was probably not around anymore) and some of his school friends.
A selfie of Changmin and him caught his eye and he wondered, with a mix of trepidation and unease, were they dating? Taehyun seemed to know that Changmin would be at his place. They’d always been really close but he had never thought of him as more than a friend. How on earth could they have ever gotten together? It seemed hard to imagine given their relationship now. They were truly just good friends, Soobin didn’t think he’d be able to stomach pretending to date him if he was stuck here.
But he’d cross that bridge when he got there. First thing first, he should get dressed. He didn’t want Taehyun to find him standing around still in his boxers. It didn’t take him much poking around to find some sweats and a t-shirt. And after locating and using the bathroom, he finally wandered out to the rest of the apartment.
It was nice. Light and airy with a beautiful view of the Seoul skyline, he was happy to realize that it was pretty in line with what he’d always dreamed of when he had thought of moving out and getting his own place. Though, in the back of his mind he had always hoped he wouldn’t be moving out entirely on his own. At first at least
Soobin was just getting started on trying to figure out his coffee machine when he heard a knock at his door. Sprinting across the kitchen he threw the door open without bothering to look through the peephole.
“Taehyun!” he shouted, relief flooding over him when he laid eyes on his bandmate. It was even more reassuring to see that aside from his hair color, Taehyun looked more or less the same. Same kind smile and curious eyes as he stood at the doorway holding a coffee tray.
“Sorry I took a little longer than I said I would,” he said as he stepped inside and toed off his shoes. “You sounded stressed but I figured coffee would help.”
“It does,” Soobin said happily, taking the tray from his hands. It would probably take him three full days just to figure out all the knobs and levers on the coffee machine sitting on his counter. How he had become some kind of at-home barista, he had no idea.
“So, what’s up?” Taehyun asked cautiously, walking over to the couch and taking a seat. Soobin followed after him and sat as well.
“Okay, so, first I need you to know this is gonna sound crazy,” Soobin prefaced.
Taehyun frowned slightly. “Okay…”
“Like really, really, crazy. Like something out of a movie crazy, okay?”
“Hyung, what is it?”
Soobin took a deep breath. “I woke up this morning and had no idea where I was. The last thing I remember is going to bed in the dorms. In 2022.”
With every word he said, Taehyun’s eyebrows raised until he reached the year and his mouth dropped open. “…you’re kidding, right? 2022? Hyung, it’s 2027.”
“I’m not kidding!” Soobin pleaded, “I’m serious. I really have no idea what’s going on.”
“Is this a prank? Are you up to something with Beomgyu-hyung?”
“No, Taehyun-ah, I—I woke up and thought I'd been kidnapped or something because I didn’t even know I lived alone! I didn’t recognize the room.”
Taehyun studied him apprehensively and Soobin hoped with all his might that he’d believe him. He had no idea what he’d do if he didn’t. Eventually Taehyun spoke, “So you don’t remember anything from the last five years? At all?”
“Nothing.”
“Then… you’d be okay if I posted on Weverse and told Moa about what happened in MAMA 2024?”
Soobin frowned. “I—what?”
“I’m gonna post on Weverse and tell them the story,” Taehyun repeated, watching him carefully.
Failing to see how this was related to his plight, Soobin huffed. “I guess? Can we please focus though? I still don’t—”
Taehyun took out his phone and held it up to him. “I’m serious, hyung, I’m gonna do it.”
“Fine! I don’t care! Do you believe me or not?”
Taehyun didn’t answer, unlocking his phone and then pulling up weverse, showing his screen to Soobin, but when Soobin didn’t react at all, he shut his phone off and sat back in disbelief. “You’re being serious.”
“Yes! What did that have to do with anything?” Soobin asked, exasperated.
“Because normally you jump us if we even mention MAMA 2024. You’d actually kill me if I posted that.”
Soobin’s curiosity peaked, making him momentarily distracted. “Really? What happened?”
Taehyun didn’t answer right away, reaching for his coffee and taking a sip. “I think I’ll spare you from reliving that. It’s for the best.”
“Tell me.”
“No, I need to do my charitable act for today and this will be it.”
“Taehyun-ah, You can’t just say something like that and not tell me!” Soobin whined, putting his coffee down on the table. “Tell me!”
“Hyung! Don’t we have more pressing matters? Like the fact that you have amnesia or something?” Taehyun raised his eyebrows at him pointedly.
“Oh yeah. Amnesia.” That made a lot more sense than Soobin’s original theory. His cheeks flushed at the fact that his mind had immediately jumped to time travel and he hadn’t thought of any other possibilities. “Right.”
Taehyun scrutinized him. “Did you have other theories?”
Soobin’s flush deepened. He reached for his coffee once again. “I mean… time travel?” he mumbled sheepishly.
“Hm.” Taehyun considered it and Soobin was glad he didn’t laugh. “I mean I guess that’s an option, too.”
“But amnesia should be the first option, you’re right. Did I do anything yesterday to hit my head?”
“I don’t know,” Taehyun replied. “We’re actually on a break right now so this is the first time we’ve seen each other in a few days. But either way I think you would have said something if you had. A hit strong enough to give amnesia would probably land you in the hospital.”
A completely random thought struck Soobin. “Hang on. Why did you call to wake me up so early on a day off then?” he demanded, offended on his future self’s behalf. Days off were sacred, meant for sleeping in until the sun was at least half way through the sky already.
Taehyun laughed, kicking his feet up on the couch. “You really are 2022 you, huh?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Because you’ve been a gym rat with me for almost… a year? We usually go in the mornings.”
Soobin found that hard to believe. The only time he ever went to the gym now was when he absolutely had to in order to maintain his weight for a comeback. He pulled a face. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” Taehyun took another sip of coffee and then shook his head. “I can’t believe this. There’s so much you don’t know, holy crap.”
The panic started to rise once more. “I know. Taehyun, what the heck am I supposed to do? The last thing I remember is being 22 and you’re telling me suddenly I’m 27? That’s so old. I almost didn’t recognize myself this morning”
Sympathy filled Taehyun’s features until there was a sudden flash of realization and he surged forward, grabbing Soobin’s arm. “Wait, was Changmin-hyung in your bed this morning?”
Soobin winced. “Yeah. Um—that was a massive shock. I thought he was Yeonjun-hyung so I kinda flipped.”
Taehyun looked more flabbergasted than he had so far in the entire conversation. He ran a hand through his hair. “Oh my god… in 2022 you were still together, that’s right.”
Though he’d already put the pieces together, hearing someone confirm it was even more painful. Soobin smoothed his palms over his thighs and swallowed thickly. How was he supposed to mourn something he hadn’t even lost yet? “Yeah… I guess we broke up huh?”
“Oh, hyung…” Taehyun scooted closer. “I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what this is like. But you did. Just over a year ago in 2026. God, I really don’t know what to say. Do you… do you want me to tell you about it?”
At least they’d gotten a few more years, Soobin thought bitterly. It had been some far away version of himself that had gone through the break-up. Maybe that version was stronger, had learned something in all those years that would get him through it because the current version of himself? The simple thought of it felt like it might destroy him.
He sighed. “No. Eventually I guess. I gotta know all of this eventually, but not now.” Hesitating for a second, he wondered if he really wanted to know the answer to his next question. “Am I… dating Changmin-hyung?”
“I’m not really sure,” Taehyun said earnestly. Seeing the confusion on Soobin’s face he chewed his lip thoughtfully. “It’s pretty new and you keep telling us you’re not and that you’re just casually hooking up but honestly? I thought you might be lying to us. I was actually planning to wheedle it out of you over the next few days but…” he gestured at the air helplessly.
“I told you guys that? Even to Yeonjun-hyung ?!”
“I mean… not directly, but he’s heard… bits. You know, from us and stuff. So… yeah, he knows.” Taehyun said a bit sheepishly.
Soobin let out a cross between a groan and whine, throwing his head back against the couch and pressing his palms over his eyes. “Tyun, what am I gonna do?! There’s so much I don’t know and what if i’m stuck here and I ruin everything by causing some kind of disaster because I don’t know or don’t remember something and—”
“Hyung, hyung, calm down. Calm down. We’ll figure this out, okay? You have me, so you’re not alone. I’ll help you figure it out.” Taehyun said soothingly, gently prying his hands away. “Everything will be okay.”
Soobin met his eyes. It was weird to think that this Taehyun was older than he was now– mentally, at least. He hadn’t changed much physically, but there was something more mature about him. Though he had always been like that, Soobin supposed. The kind person you could rely on, regardless of age. A premature ahjussi like Beomgyu used to joke.
“Okay,” Soobin said, “I believe you.”
“Good.” Taehyun leaned back and reached for his phone. “But let’s get some breakfast first because clearly we have a lot of talking to do and I’m not doing all of it on an empty stomach.”
“I am kinda hungry…” Soobin admitted, realizing that he was in fact starving, now that food had been mentioned .
“Are you ready to see the menus of the future, then?”
“I can’t believe this is an actual thing,” Soobin mused, poking at the take out container in front of him surreptitiously.
“It’s a fad,” Taehyun explained, not bothering to look up from his own noodle dish. “It’ll die out eventually. I told you not to order it.”
The two of them were sitting around Soobin’s kitchen island eating the breakfast they ordered before “devising a plan of action” as Taehyun had put it.
“I know, but I had to see what it was like. Dessert kimchi? Wild. But I guess that’s how mint chocolate chicken got popular too. People ordering out of curiosity.” Soobin took his second bite of the suspicious-looking dish before deciding that he could definitely not stomach it and switching back to his real breakfast.
Taehyun snorted. “That’s such an outdated reference.”
“Well, what do you expect? I’m five years behind on trends,” Soobin replied defensively. “Maybe we should start there. What’s the biggest scandal I missed?”
“Hmm… Namjoon-hyung made his relationship public?”
“A relationship? That’s it?”
“It was his relationship with a man.”
Soobin’s jaw dropped and Taehyun nodded solemnly at him. “It was all people talked about for months. They announced it just a few weeks after he finished his enlistment.”
“Wow… that’s just… wow.”
“Yup.” Taehyun wiped his mouth and then neatly stacked his trash inside his now empty container. “But, unless you want the next biggest scandal to be ‘Choi Soobin Mysteriously Develops Amnesia’ we need a plan.”
Soobin imagined people’s reaction if that were to come out and shuddered. The company would also have to get involved and he couldn’t imagine how that might hold the team back. “Yeah, let’s do it.”
Taehyun had materialized a notepad from somewhere in his bag and flipped to a new page, sliding it over to Soobin. “Okay so, first thing’s first. Do you wanna tell the other members about this?”
Though Soobin’s first reaction was ‘obviously,’ he hesitated once he realized that Yeonjun learning that Soobin’s mind was “stuck” in a time when they had been very much still in love might mess up their dynamics too much. What if that freaked him out? He was used to a version of Soobin that had apparently gotten over him—not one that thought that was impossible. “No,” he said. “Maybe let’s just keep it between you and me for now.”
Taehyun’s eyes lingered on him for a second before he nodded “Alright. Let’s keep going.”
They spent nearly an hour and half going over the major pieces of information that Soobin would need to at least get through the next week without suspicion. It was a tedious process because with every fact Soobin learned, three more questions sprung up. He learned that they’d been on break for two months and were about to start the recording for their next album in a few days. Then he’d want to know why they were on break. Taehyun would explain that the next album had a lot of hype so they wanted to rest before diving in. Why did it have so much hype? Yeonjun was enlisting in August and this was going to be their last album before then. Yeonjun was enlisting? Alone? To what branch? Yes, they’d decided against enlisting at the same time. He was going to join the military band. Why had they changed their minds when they’d talked about enlisting together so long ago?
On and on they went until Taehyun nearly talked himself sore and Soobin’s mind was reeling beyond understanding. It was becoming clear to him that no person was meant to learn so much about their future all at once like that. With every fact he learned it felt less and less like hearing about his future and more like learning about some alternate universe version of himself.
Eventually Taehyun had to go because he had a radio appearance for an OST he had produced and featured in but he promised to come back as soon as he could. Before he left, he gave Soobin some homework: one, study everything they’d gone over (Soobin had taken notes) to make sure he didn’t forget any key facts; two, snoop through his own phone to find out if he’d done anything the day prior that might have caused amnesia; and three: if no possible amnesia-causing events were discovered—and he said this last bit with a slightly pained look—start researching time travel.
Soobin agreed, assured him he’d do his best, and then tried to usher him out the door, his leader habits kicking in about Taehyun possibly being late to a schedule.
Taehyun hovered for a second at the door however, and the searching look he gave Soobin made him truly feel young for the first time that morning.
Trying to laugh off the odd feeling, Soobin gave him a gentle shove. “What? Don’t you have to go?”
Taehyun hesitated and then gave a heavier sigh than one Soobin had ever heard from 20-year-old Taehyun. “I do. It’s just… I haven’t told you everything, hyung, but maybe this isn’t as bad as we think. You know… it’s nice to see you looking—” he cut himself off and then shook his head, fixing his bag on his shoulder. “Never mind. Anyways, can’t keep my manager waiting for too long, I’ll see you later.”
“See me looking what?” Soobin asked but Taehyun had already walked away and was standing at the elevators. “Taehyun-ah! See me looking like what?”
But the elevator door opened and Taehyun slipped inside with a simple wave.
Have I changed much? Soobin wondered as he made his way back inside his apartment. He supposed that it was only natural, that people seldom stayed the exact same over time—especially over five years—but what if it hadn’t been for the better? Taehyun hadn’t looked that off-put by his behavior, so it couldn’t be that much of a drastic change, but there was clearly something he was holding back as they’d said goodbye.
Soobin flopped on the couch and stared up blankly at his ceiling. He already missed Odi and the dorms and being with his members. But above all, he thought as he rolled over to face the back of the couch, the one thing he missed the most in the world right now was his boyfriend.
The version of him who still loved him back, that is.