Work Text:
“Happy Weed Day!” Tommy chucks a marijuana at Theseus.
Of course, the marijuana flies right through Theseus’ body because he’s a fucking ghost, what a loser. Imagine being dead and being forced to watch as someone else who’s clearly better than you takes over your actual body.
“You’re an idiot,” Theseus says, sniffing all prick-like because he’s a Prick Prince.
Tommy sticks his tongue out. “Bitch.”
Eryn then walks into the room. “Oh, hey Tommy-“
”ERYN!” Tommy grabs Eryn’s shoulders. “I am NOT ‘Tommy Innes’ anymore: my name is Weed Man!”
”What the fuck,” Eryn says, his smile gone just like his soul. “Are you high?”
”No, I want a pony for Christmas,” Tommy denies.
Tubbo bursts into the room—hold on, why the hell is everyone in Tommy’s bedroom? Oh well, he doesn’t actually care all that much.
“You best friend stealer!” Tubbo growls at Eryn like a fucking dog. “I’ll gut you!” He then pulls out a knife.
“Shit.” Eryn runs away like a pussy.
“Tubbo! My good pal,” Tommy grins.
“Theseus, I’ve saved you from the villain,” Tubbo says all seriously. “If he hurt you, I swear I’ll decapitate him.”
“My Prince :D” Ranboo walks in, a stupid smile on his face.
“What the fuck did he just say,” Tommy stares wide-eyed at his servant. “Say that again.”
”:D”
”OH MY FUCKIN GOD!” Tommy screams. “RANBOO’S A COMPUTER!”
”No he’s not :)” Tubbo says.
Tommy glares and pulls out his glock. “You’re not Tubbo—who are you?”
”You’re right,” not-Tubbo says while laughing maniacally. “I’m not Tubbo—it’s actually me, Wilbur!” And then Wilbur unzips his Tubbo-suit and climbs out.
“:0” Ranboo says.
Deo runs in and frets over Tommy. “TOMMY ARE YOU HURT?! WHO DO I NEED TO KILL?!?! IS IT THAT BITCH TECHNOBLADE?”
Tommy then pulls all his hair out and becomes bald.