Chapter Text
As Max ran through the empty streets of New York City, there was an ache in the pit of his stomach. He knew something wasn’t right the moment Helen didn’t answer the phone. But his heart nearly stopped when he found her laying on the floor of his apartment. “Helen? Oh, God. Stay with me.” Max said, his voice unsteady as he extended his right hand to check for Helen’s pulse.
Max felt the slow rhythm of Helen’s heart beating and with his left hand, instinctively grabbed his iPhone from the pocket of his jeans to call for help. Instantly a 9-1-1 dispatcher answered the call and Max stumbled, barely able to get any words out. “This is Dr. Max Goodwin, I need an ambulance at 42 East 17th Street!”
Max's heart grew heavier with each passing moment as he waited for help. When the paramedics finally arrived they found Max on his knees, cradling Helen’s helpless body. Paramedic Whitaker quickly accessed the situation, lifting Helen onto a stretcher and then quickly shoved her into the back of the ambulance.
The nearly twenty-five-minute drive to the hospital felt like the longest ride of Max’s life. All this felt like déjà vu, some sort of sick trick. Why was this happening? Was he cursed? There was no way all of this could be happening again. Max held Helen’s hand as she was rushed into the emergency room and watched in horror as multiple doctors and nurses performed various tests on the woman he loved, lying there, exposed and vulnerable being examined by not even a single person he recognized.
Once Helen was stable they admitted her and then put her on a ventilator. Max sat down in a chair next to her bed and stared at the tiny velvet box in his hands. The room was quiet, except for the constant beeping of the ventilator keeping Helen alive. Max’s head pounded with tension as he questioned himself. Why didn’t I see the signs? He should’ve known something was wrong. Max asked Helen if she was alright when they got home from the bar, but she just told him it had been a long night. He thought she seemed off. So why did he think she was just asleep this whole time? He was a doctor, for goodness sake. He should have known something was wrong when she hadn’t picked up the phone. Max felt imprisoned by fear. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
Max was going to propose tonight. After his failed attempt last night, he made reservations at The Tavern. Max even practiced the speech he had been working on for weeks on end. Still, he didn’t know what to say. Trying to find the right words to express his feelings was harder than he imagined. Max needed to convey precisely how much Helen meant to him, which was a lot. He never realized how difficult it was to put it all into words. She was his everything. Although Max was unsure about many things in his life right now, there was one thing he was sure of, Helen. Their relationship was only beginning, which is why it felt so unfair.
“Helen, if you can hear me I just want you to know...” Max started, his voice was thick and unsteady. “I'm right here and I’m not going anywhere.”
Max took a long slow deep breath. “I can’t do this without you. I can’t lose you, Helen. You promised me I wouldn’t lose you.”
“What if I lose you?”
“Losing me is impossible.”
Max had already lost his sister and his former wife, but nothing seemed to compare to his pain right now. Luna was his best friend, they were inseparable, and Max lost a part of himself the day she died. His sister was the entire reason he became a doctor. Max kept trying to save her, hoping if he helped others, it would mend his broken heart. Then almost thirty years later, he lost Georgia. Sure, their marriage was far from perfect, but she would always have a special place in his heart as the mother of his child. She had given him, their daughter, the greatest gift he had ever received, and for that, he was forever grateful. Still, the loss of Luna and Georgia didn’t come close to the feelings of despair Max felt now.
“I need you,” Max told Helen as tears formed in his eyes. “I know I’ve said it like a million times, but it’s true. And Luna, she needs her Mum. We need you, Helen.”
“We still need you here, okay? I-I need you here.”
Helen had played many roles for Max over the years. They started as colleagues and became friends. Then she agreed to be his doctor and later Deputy Medical Director. Recently Helen had become more than that or perhaps she always was. She was not only his partner but the love of his life, his joy. As of late, Helen had taken on the mantle of being a parent. Helen always expressed becoming a mother and Max remembers the tears in her eyes the day she was declared “Mum” by Luna. His daughter had already lost one mother and he wasn't about to let her lose another.
“You have to fight, Helen.” Max pleaded, taking one of her hands into his own. “It’s all a fight, remember?”
“Max, you want some advice?”
“I'll take it.”
“You fight for her, Max. You fight for her.”
“I feel like all I do is fight.”
“It's all a fight. Luna. Mina. Vaccines. This hospital. Us. If you don't want to fight for it, it's because it's not worth it.”
"Helen, you're my joy. So promise me that somehow we'll be okay."
Then without any warning the EKG monitor beeped loudly and repetitively, causing Max to panic. He stood there helplessly, watching as a group of nurses came to Helen’s aid. He didn’t know what was happening, and what shocked him even more was seeing the familiar face of Dr. Lyn Malvo.
“Lyn? What are you doing here?”
“Helen has a pulmonary embolism. I already paged Reynolds, he’s going to meet me in the O.R. for surgery right away.”
“H-How did this happen?”
“It’s rare, but sometimes a clot will occur in pregnancy.”
“Pregnancy?” Max asked, stunned. “Helen’s pregnant?”
“Max…” Lyn said, hoping to pull him back to reality. “One of the clots broke free in her lung, we need to do an Embolectomy or she’s going to die.”