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It was strange, Sophie thought as she sat on the floor of the bedroom in Aubrey Hall, she hadn’t thought about her father in so very long and yet over the last 4 days, she had done not a lot else but think about him in her time between fittings, between the shouting and screaming of the Bridgerton’s around her…
The revelation that he had left her a dowry had rocked her to her very core and honestly she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it.
Posy had told her just how much the dowry was supposed to be the afternoon before she departed for Bridgerton House, curiosity had peaked in her and whilst she told herself that she didn’t need to know… she had to ask…
8 thousand pounds
Sophie had nearly fainted and when Posy had said her’s and Rosamund’s was just 5, well she had needed to sit down. Benedict had been worried about her as she had been pale and hadn’t spoken for a full 20 minutes whilst her brain processed it.
She knew her father had never loved her, had seen her as little more than his responsibility but this… had she been truly wrong? Had he cared about her… 8 thousand pounds was enough for any man to be interested, it would have gotten her a very good match if she had been allowed to debut, and it was why, she suspected she wasn’t allowed to… why she had been forced into the life she had led up until this point.
So here she was, the night before her wedding, to the man she loved more than anything in the world, who loved her back and wanted to be with her, despite her background, despite her lack of a dowry, that money was long gone and Sophie didn’t care about it. It was buying Araminta’s silence and Sophie found she didn’t want her father’s money.
She had never wanted his money.
All Sophie had ever wanted was a family…
And on the eve of gaining that family, her father was all that was in her mind.
She looked around the expansive bedroom, it was larger than any room she had ever stayed in before and let out a sigh, her wedding dress hung on the door, the beautiful pale lavender fabric with the lilies and tulips hastily added to the bottom, it was something Lady Bridgerton had made for Benedict’s bride and Sophie had cried when she had seen it.
Sophie wasn’t just gaining a husband. She was gaining sisters, brothers, a mother… it brought tears to her eyes.
She remembered her father talking around the house, how he had said he had dealings with the Bridgerton’s when she was younger and she couldn’t help but wonder if her father would be happy with her choice in husband…
She remembered him listening to Araminta when she said she wanted him to arrange a match with a Bridgerton and the way he scoffed and said Rosamund would never marry a Bridgerton… that they would never do arranged marriages like that…
She wondered if he would be proud of her… she had fallen in love with a man who didn’t care that she was a bastard… that she was a ward…
She had asked Simon to walk her down the aisle tomorrow, he had a similar background to her, having never had a family to call his own, never feeling like he belonged and she felt a kindred spirit with him. Lord Bridgerton… Anthony… as she had to remind herself to call him, had offered but Sophie knew that Benedict wanted him as his best man…
She wondered if her father would have walked her down the aisle… obviously not as her father but as her guardian… would he have insisted on the private wedding they were having or would he have wanted a grander affair.
It bothered her that she didn’t know anything about her father, about what he would be feeling and she felt sad. It was the first time since his death she had really thought about him, really let herself grief…
Kate and Simon both had lost their parents, Kate still had her stepmother, and Simon had Lady Danbury and up until 3 days ago, Sophie had been truly alone…
She felt tears sparkling in her eyes as she tried to remember, tried to remember even one happy memory about her father but she was struggling… she had very few happy memories before she met Benedict and that was the saddest realisation of them all.
21 years she had been on this earth, and her life was only just beginning…
She let a tear fall down her face as there was a knock on the door, Sophie sniffed and replied “enter” and Kate poked her head in.
“Are you alright Sophie?” Kate asked, concern in her voice as she saw the tear that Sophie wiped away.
“Just… thinking” she said with a small smile.
“Anything I can help you with? We are after all, to be sister’s from tomorrow” Kate said, a warm smile on her face as she walked into Sophie’s room and approached the younger woman.
Sophie’s smile wobbled at the truth of Kate’s words and she fought back the urge to burst into tears, she wasn’t the sort of woman who cried in front of people but here she was.
Kate rushed to her “Oh Sophie, what is the matter? Are you have second thoughts?” she asked.
Sophie shook her head frantically “Lord no…” she sniffed “its just… very overwhelming… i’ve… i’ve never really had a family… I was thinking of my father… or trying to…”
Kate scowled a little as she hugged Sophie “I know the Bridgerton’s are a big bunch and a lot to take in but Sophie, you could not have asked for a better family. They love without condition, without prejudice and without judgement…” she said with a smile “and after everything, it is what you deserve” she said.
Sophie smiled at Kate and wiped her face “I am just being silly”
“It is the night before your wedding, you are allowed to be a bit emotional” Kate grinned at her “but I promise you, everything is going to be okay. Sometimes family isn’t what we are born into but it is the family we choose to create, who we choose to love and who we choose to let in. The Earl might have been your father, Araminta your step-mother but they were never your family… you my darling girl, were born to be a Bridgerton” Kate smiled.
Sophie chuckled “from what I have heard of your Pall Mall prowess from Daphne and Anthony… so were you”
Kate grinned “perhaps but you… despite everything still love harder than anyone i’ve ever had the pleasure to meet, and I cannot wait to be your sister” she said.
“Likewise” Sophie said honestly.
“Now come on, let us wash away those tears, we have some wine and good food downstairs, let us go celebrate with our family” Kate said.
Sophie smiled at her and did as she asked and as Sophie sipped her wine and looked around the women gathered around her, the men were relegated to the summer house, Sophie knew Kate was right…
This was her family. This was where she belonged…
The Earl was her past… the Bridgerton’s where her present and her future… and that was all that really mattered.