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Dating and living with Tony Stark had its advantages, enough to fill dozens of books on envy. But it also had disadvantages. One of these disadvantages was the inherent risk that one of his enemies might attack his house at any moment.
"Hey JARVIS,“ you shouted over your blaring music. Tony was out heroing with the guys and, stuck at home with nothing to do, you’d decided to have a bit of solo party down in his laboratory. "Was that the phone?”
“Yes. I believe it’s Mr. Stark calling for you.”
“Oh! Cut the noise and put him on!” JARVIS didn’t wait to carry out your orders. As soon as you gave them, the music ground to a halt and Tony’s voice crackled into your phone.
“[Name],” he said quickly, “has anything unusual happened tonight?”
Thinking that he meant you finally learning to hack your own music into his sound system, you decided to play dumb. “Unusual? No. Should something unusual have happened?”
“Okay. I guess you’re fine right now. But you did lock the door like I asked, right?”
“Um…” You squeezed up your face to think. In the sudden silence, you heard the distinct sound of the front door slamming into the opposite wall. “I’m guessing that wasn’t you using your key to get inside?”
Even over the phone you could tell he had just slapped himself in the face. “[Name], we discussed this. I can’t keep you safe if you don’t follow proper protocol!”
“Well, pardon me for thinking the streets of Malibu were clean of evil, Mr. Hero.”
“Okay, okay. It doesn’t matter. Look, are you somewhere you can see them? Can you tell who they are? Whiplash? Stane? Anyone you recognize?”
“No, I’m not. And what does it matter? It’s not like I can tell the difference between your various arch rivals, Tony!” Your voice had fallen so that you could barely hear it. Upstairs people were calling to each other.
"This is important!“
"I’m sorry,” you snapped as quietly as you could. “It’s just that they’re all wearing Iron Man rip-offs of some kind. They sort of start to blur together.”
Tony let out a long, low breath. “Where are you?”
“In the lab,” you whispered back. From upstairs drifted the sounds of breaking items and indistinct voices. It was only then you remembered Tony had soundproofed his lab. If you could hear them, they could get in.
Tony caught your whimper. “What’s wrong?”
"I think I might have forgot to lock the basement door.“
”What?“
"I was waiting for the pizza guy. It’s not like a locked door would stop these guys. I mean, the walls are made of glass! What’s that gonna do to help?”
For a moment, you heard only silence. Your heart sped as it occurred to you that Tony might have just hung up on you. But two seconds later, he spoke again:
“Okay. Can you move without them noticing?”
"I–I think so.“
"Get to the table.” You winced at a heavy footstep above your head, but did as you were told. Tony must have calculated how long it would take you to get there, because no sooner had you arrived than did he continue. “Press your palm into the glass.”
"Tony, I–“
"Just do it. Now!”
You threw a worried look toward the open door as you smashed your palm into tabletop. A blue light slid down from the tips of your fingers to the base of your palm. “Is something supposed to be happening?”
"Wait for it.“
Half a second later, one of the armor pods slid up from the concrete. It shimmed in the same blue light as the table next to you.
"Tony…” The pod covering lifted to reveal a suit of armor smaller than the others and with a glowing arc reactor in its chest. “What is this?”
“I was going to give it to you for your birthday,” Tony said, “but given the situation, I believe now is more pertinent.“
With the phone still in your hand, you walked up to the suit of armor and pressed your trembling free one into the silvery casing. "Is it really mine?” you breathed.
"Be amazed later, [Name]. Kind of in the middle of a situation here?“
"Right, right. Sorry. What do I do now?”
"Press the button on the right. JARVIS will do the rest of the suiting up.“
"And?”
“And call me when you’re done taking out the trash.”
"Right! Anything else?“ you asked as you pressed said button.
"Yeah. No flying until I get home.”
“I can fly, too?” you squealed.
Tony answered with stony silence.
“I make no promises.”
His sigh blasted over the phone line “Just try to survive getting rid of these people first. It’s not as easy as I make it look.”
“You worry too much.” Several blinking lights led you over to a platform. Somehow the armor followed and started to dismantle itself around you.
“Says the person who forgot to lock two doors.”
JARVIS interrupted you by stating your name. “I’m going to need you to hang up for now. Mr. Stark may contact you once the suit is on.”
"Bye, Tony! See you later. Thanks for the birthday present.“
"Call me RIGHT AFTER,” he said again. “And no flying!”
“Yeah, yeah.”
You hit the end button before he could lecture you some more. If you hadn’t listened to him about not messing with his music speakers, why on earth would he believe you would listen to him about learning to fly?