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feng xin and mu qing have been dating for a few years now. of course, it doesn’t mean that they stopped bickering but now instead of sulking by themselves after a fight, they cuddle until they fall asleep.
they go on dates together, most of the time if one of them has to go on a mission the other isn’t lazy to follow. sometimes mu qing cooks for them and doesn’t let feng xin have his peace until the dishes aren’t done.
they spend their idyllic days disgustingly in love but there’s one little error in this perfect relationship of theirs. no one knows about it.
even they, themselves don’t know how they managed to keep it a secret, when they couldn’t be more obvious about it. at first the explanation gave itself; everyone was so busy with rebuilding the heavenly capital that they didn’t have time nor energy to worry about how the martial gods of the south act around each other.
although with hua cheng’s return everything was finished ten times faster than they’d expected it and even xie lian found himself again, they were expecting a long long talk with his highness and endless teasing from the other gods, but nothing.
“what if they actually know about us, just decided to leave us alone and be subtle about it?” feng xin wondered, while playing with mu qing’s hair.
they were in the nan yang palace, laying in feng xin’s bed, trying to figure out why is everyone acting so… normal.
“do you really believe that they would respect our privacy and wouldn’t want to know every little detail? especially general pei. everyone in the three realms will know about what’s happening even in the bedroom if he were ever to find out,” mu qing rolled his eyes and snuggled closer to his boyfriend.
“oh really? and what’s happening in the bedroom?” feng xin asked with a smirk, to which he only got a smack on his chest as an answer.
“idiot.”
…
they came to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter if the other gods know or not about them, at least they have more peace this way.
it’s not that they stopped being suspicious about everyone around them pretending but now, instead of every night, this topic was brought up only every other night.
“i swear if you two came just to try to make me accept the position of the heavenly emperor, you don’t even have to come in, just turn around and go back to heaven,” xie lian looked at them seemingly with a threatening expression but they all knew that he wouldn’t send them away just like that.
“we just wanted to visit a friend, but if this is how you greet us, maybe we should take our leave,” mu qing said in an annoyed tone and gave feng xin an angry look when he pushed him inside.
xie lian just chuckled at this and followed them. puqi shrine still looked the same, except now the air was filled with the feeling of home.
it’s been long since xie lian moved in with hua cheng in paradise manor but with regard to the mutual dislike between his husband and best friends, he doesn’t invite them to ghost city often. it’s either puqi shrine or the heavenly capital where they meet.
“obviously we’re not here for that. it’s your decision, and doesn’t matter what your final word will be, we’re supporting you no matter what,” feng xin reassured the distressed god, who is chased by heavenly officials in his dreams, and even after waking up he can hear their “accept the position” shouts.
“i knew i can trust you. it’s getting really out of hand what they’re doing! the other day almost twenty of them visited me in the span of four hours! twenty! and when i thought i saw everything with general pei, i ran into ling wen on my way back to ghost city,” xie lian explained with an exhausted sigh and laid down on the floor, next to the table they were sitting by.
“do you want us to talk to them? we can make them stop,” mu qing said seriously, while feng xin was busy nodding next to him.
“it’s okay. san lang won’t tell me but i know he already tried and even he failed, so… but thank you, really,” the smile that appeared on his face made one think that all those horrible things never happened to him and he is still the crown prince that he once was.
they chatted until sunset and the whole time feng xin and mu qing were looking for signs that xie lian knows about their relationship and just kept his silence.
the only person they believed would respect their privacy and wouldn’t bring up all this dating situation was xie lian. after finding out that he knew from the beginning who nan feng and fu yao really was, it wouldn’t be surprising if that was really the case.
after going back to the heavenly capital, each of them went to their own palaces, just to spend the night together in mu qing’s bedroom, thanks to the distance shortening array drawn between their palaces.
…
“we are going to be late,” mu qing whispered between two kisses but he just hugged feng xin tighter.
“big words from someone who won’t let go of me,” feng xin gasped and deepened their kiss.
they were currently in the mortal realm and just finished their “mission”, when ling wen called back every heavenly official through the communication array. apparently there’s something important to discuss, which made everyone’s presence necessary.
everybody was already in the great martial hall, waiting for the gods of the south and yet here they are, trying to discover every little corner of the other's mouth. that wouldn’t even be the worst, but anyone could tell by one look what they were doing.
with one last peck on mu qing’s mouth, feng xin finally let go, making mu qing whimper due to the loss of his lover’s warmth.
“it’s okay baby, i’ll make it up for you later,” feng xin murmured into the other’s ear, who mumbled something with an obvious blush on his cheeks.
when they entered the hall the gods were already in a heated conversation.
“took you long enough,” pei ming said, seeing the long awaited martial gods approaching him.
ignoring pei ming’s curious gaze, mu qing asked about the topic of the argument. he was desperately hoping that their earlier activity wasn’t too obvious.
“well, there are more and more reported ghost attacks on everyone’s territory and there seems to be a pattern. one group stands by this, while the other says that it’s a coincidence. you didn’t hear this from me, but some of them think that everything is crimson rain’s doing and he wants to make us stop bothering his highness this way,” hearing the explanation both of them frowned.
“then i don’t know, just an idea, the heavens should finally leave him alone? he went through a lot and now that he finally found his peace, i think it’s quite understandable that he doesn’t want to give up on it for a position he never wanted in the first place,” feng xin said with a blank expression, not noticing the silence descending on the hall.
“so what general nan yang is saying is that he’ll never accept our proposal and the general won’t help us make him do so,” if the civil god’s tone wouldn’t reveal his hostile feelings, his face definitely did.
feng xin was just about to send him back into his mothers womb, with words of course, when he felt mu qing getting closer to him. his movement wasn’t that noticeable but pei ming, standing next to them, still furrowed his eyebrows.
since they started dating, mu qing has been trying to control feng xin’s anger and stop him from yelling curse words at literally everyone. it took him a little time but eventually figured out that the only way he can calm him is getting into his personal space and creating skinship with him, one way or another.
they were in a place filled with heavenly officials so he obviously couldn’t just hold his hand or hug him but for now drawing attention to his presence was the best he could do.
feng xin took a deep breath and let mu qing do the talking.
“yes, that’s exactly what he’s saying.” mu qing took on a frosty expression and continued. “but if you don’t stop with this behaviour towards him, don’t be surprised if things like these attacks happen.”
after they exchanged a few not very friendly words and everyone came to the conclusion that they don’t want the fate of those thirty-three heavenly officials to be their own, they’ll stop. for now. with that being said, ling wen let everyone go. she had to take over most of the duties of the heavenly emperor, hence she would be the happiest if xie lian would accept the position but what could she do after all this?
…
“general pei knows something,” mu qing stated, the moment feng xin closed the door.
“what makes you think that? we already went through this once, he, out of all people, would never respect our privacy,” feng xin noted while taking off his outer robes. it’s been a long day and all he wanted was to be in bed next to mu qing.
“you didn’t see it, but i did. when earlier you were arguing in the great martial hall i stepped closer to you and he looked very suspiciously at us. not to mention, he stood at the end of the martial deity avenue until he wasn’t sure that we were going in two different directions. it’s only a matter of time and he will confront us,” mu qing was still lost in his thoughts when feng xin laid down next to him, only wearing his inner robes.
“my love, don’t be too worried about it, hm? and what if he knows? we can’t keep our relationship a secret forever, can we? this way at least we wouldn’t have to be the one to come clean,” feng xin said while taking mu qing’s slightly smaller frame into his arms.
“i know just… we should tell xie lian. even if he knows already, i don’t want him to learn about it officially from someone else,” mu qing mumbled and played with feng xin’s necklace. he gifted it to him on their first anniversary and he hadn’t seen him without it since then.
“anything you want,” feng xin whispered and kissed mu qing’s forehead. unfortunately, the position they were in didn’t allow feng xin to see the concerned expression on his beloved’s face.
…
this was the last night they could spend peacefully together. after that they had to descend separately to the mortal realm and even if they could go back to the heavenly capital at the same time, there was no more than a few hours they could secretly share with each other.
both of their territory might be in the south, their presence was needed in the two farthest points of the area.
feng xin had a slightly easier job in dealing with the malice and some menace ranked ghosts than mu qing who had to go after a savage ranked one. the latter thought he’s never going to catch it, and was in great distress because of it, when the ghost showed up at the border between southwest and southeast.
when one of his subordinates reported the location of the ghost to him, he immediately connected feng xin through their private communication array. or so he thought.
“feng xin, can you come to the border? that ghost was seen there not so long ago, and we could finish it now.”
“yes, of course. i’ll be there in a minute.”
“great, thanks. love you, bye.”
“love you.”
and that was the moment both mu qing and feng xin realised what they’ve done. they weren’t talking privately but in the spiritual communication array.
“you do what now?” pei ming was the first to dare to break the awkward silence.
“OH SHIT!” probably everyone in the heavenly capital heard general nan yang’s shout and the lucky ones even get to see him flounce out of his palace.
while feng xin was panicking and the spiritual communication array was a mess, mu qing was as calm as ever. he froze in a place after the realisation hit him and hasn't moved since.
his subordinates, not having access to that array, didn’t know anything and were very worried about their general. he was paler than the ghost he was chasing, his face appeared to be more blank than usual, he wasn’t even blinking.
“did we hear that right?”
“general xuan zhen said love you and general nan yang said it back…”
“I TOLD YOU THEY DON’T HATE EACH OTHER BUT NO ONE BELIEVED ME!”
“how long have they been going out?”
“did anyone know about it? your highness?”
“he knew for sure!”
“ahem, not to brag but i knew about it too. i figured it out not too long ago, all by myself.”
hearing pei ming’s confession mu qing almost collapsed but luckily feng xin got there in time and caught him.
“what did we do?” mu qing horrified whisper was heard in the silence. feng xin already sent everyone away and sat down on the grass with mu qing in his lap.
“it’s okay, it could be worse,” feng xin tried to soothe him, but it didn’t really work.
“worse? worse!? have you heard what they’re saying in the array? how could it be worse?”
“i bet it’s only been a few months!”
“you’re absolutely wrong! don’t you remember when their behaviour changed?”
“that doesn’t mean anything! i’m pretty sure they were dating way before the building of the heavenly capital.”
“but… what about xuan zhen’s cultivation path?”
“and if that’s not enough, general pei is asking the exact same thing through the private communication array!” mu qing let out a loud sigh and pressed his forehead against feng xin’s chest.
“it’s not like we could expect anything else from them,” feng xin said, but he knew he made a mistake the moment mu qing sat up straight again.
“what do you mean by that?”
“well, you did say ‘love you’ to me, and i did say it back, so…,” his poor attempt at an explanation failed without doubt.
“oh, so it’s my fault! everything else you’d like to blame on me? this is your moment, don’t hold back anything, ju yang!” when mu qing finished his sentence he was already standing in front of feng xin.
“no, don’t do that, please,” feng xin stood up too and reached for the other’s hand.
“don’t do what? don’t express my feelings? would you rather prefer if i’d just shut up and be pretty for you?” the sarcastic tone that didn’t show itself towards feng xin for years now came back at once.
“what the fuck are you talking about? when have i ever said that? what i want is to get an explanation about why you’re so mad without you insulting me.”
silence fell on them, only the little noises created by the wind eased the awkwardness. although the bickering never stopped, it was long ago since they had a fight like this.
mu qing was the first to break eye contact and turned around so that feng xin couldn't see his face.
“i just… it’s so stupid but i feel like now that everyone knows about us i’m going to lose you. they won’t leave us alone and will want to know details and…,” mu qing’s voice cracked but after a deep breath he continued.
“what if they’ll start to point out the things why we shouldn’t be together and you, too, will realise that you deserve someone better than me?” he was mad at himself for not being able to say these things without crying and his cheekbones started to hurt under the pressure he used to wipe away his tears.
feng xin processed his words for a few moments then went up to his lover and hugged him tightly.
“you’re so stupid, you know that, right? why didn’t you tell me all this sooner?”
“i didn’t want to upset you?” mu qing mumbled, while leaning into feng xin’s embrace.
“oh, my love, do you know what upsets me? that you’re fighting with thoughts like those and i can’t save you from them. i love you more than anything. and honestly, if someone doesn’t deserve the other here, then it’s me,” seeing that mu qing wanted to protest, feng xin covered his mouth with his own for a second.
“no, please listen to me. it was me who ruined our relationship at the very beginning. i treated you horribly so it’s only obvious that you weren't fond of me. when i realised that maybe i’m not treating you the way you should be treated, it was already too late.
“you can’t even imagine how happy i was when i learned that you feel the same way, as i do. if it’s needed i’ll tell you all this a thousand times a day so you finally can accept that you’re the one and only for me and nothing will ever change that.”
the way feng xin was looking at him during his whole speech made mu qing think that he’s the most precious person ever existed. he couldn’t handle this feeling well so he just silently chuckled and let feng xin wipe his tears.
“i love you, i love you so much,” mu qing whispered and passionately kissed the other.
while they were lost in each other, both the spiritual communication array and the private array’s of each heavenly official went crazy. everyone wanted to know everything, albeit nobody knew anything. except xie lian maybe, but he wasn’t answering to anyone.
their secret was revealed only a few minutes ago, yet hundreds of rumours were already made about them.
“maybe they made it seem like it was a mistake but i’m telling you, they did it on purpose.”
“what if xuan zhen is pregnant? and they wanted to let us know before it gets noticeable.”
“what makes you think that it’s not nan yang?”
“have you ever met them? there’s no way it’s nan yang!”
“right, if it turns out to be him, i’ll ask for banishment myself!”
“maybe that’s a little bit drastic, isn’t it…”
…
“do you want to tell me?”
it was already late at night, but instead of going back to the heavenly capital after dealing with that ghost, they decided to stay in the mortal realm and rented a room in an inn. feng xin was sitting on the bed, while mu qing made his best to keep himself busy just to avoid the conversation that was about to happen.
“hm? tell you what?” he decided the best solution for now is to play dumb.
“baby, you know what. i don’t want to force you, if you don’t want to. i just want to understand you more,” upon hearing feng xin’s soft voice, warmth spread through mu qing’s body. since his mother’s passing, feng xin was the only person that made him feel so loved.
with a loud sigh, mu qing put down his sabre he was cleaning and sat down next to feng xin. he seeked comfort by taking the other’s hand into his own.
“promise you won’t get mad?” this was the first time he looked directly into feng xin’s eyes since they left for the mission.
“i promise,” feng xin replied and squeezed his hand.
“i… don’t want to ruin it now that i finally have you. i know i’m so far from being a good person and the way i treated everyone, especially you, reflects it and one day you’ll start to see me again as everyone else. i love you, i really do. but i can’t change the way i acted before, nor can i who i am now.
“and yes, maybe you were rude to me but i wasn’t any better either. it’s just… i need time. to change. to be the person you need. and i’m afraid i don’t have enough time to do so. although, you’re the first for me, i’m not for you. don’t cut me off, let me finish,” mu qing didn’t even have to look at feng xin to know that he’s got something to say.
“i’m not jealous of her, i know it’s been long since you don’t have feelings for each other, but i’m so different from her. she is, or was, everything i can never be. i know it’s stupid, still i… i don’t want to lose you,” by the time he finished, his tears made their appearance once again.
this scene was almost identical to the one they had in the woods. feng xin embraced him and started to caress his back.
despite everything, mu qing felt like this was the most humiliating moment in his life. he never could express his emotions well, thus he never did it. exactly because of this he got into many fights and misunderstandings with others.
when feng xin confessed to him, he was a blushing mess and avoided him for days before he told him that he feels the same way. starting from that moment he tried to not to keep his emotions all to himself and made a few attempts of sharing them with feng xin, but it was hard.
during the past centuries he found comfort in his bottled up emotions. sharing them made him feel vulnerable. it felt like he’s still a mortal and was sent to fight without an armour, while arrows fell around him like rain.
on the other hand, feng xin was the complete opposite of this. he was straightforward and never hid anything from mu qing. maybe that’s why took it so long for him to notice that something’s wrong. he assumed everyone was just like him.
“look at me please?” feng xin leaned backwards a little bit to be able to see mu qing’s teary face.
“i don’t want you to change. it’s as simple as that. i fell in love with you for who you are and not your potential for who you could be. yes, sometimes you can be an ass and overly sarcastic but i would never try to or expect you to change. jian lan is and jian lan and you are you. you are two different people. once i loved her but it was so long ago i can’t even remember it well.
“in the past few centuries you are the one my heart has been beating for. i love you, a-qing. the whole of you. and nothing ever will change that.”
and if general xuan zhen, the martial god of the southwest was sobbing for hours in the arms of general nan yang, the martial god of the southeast, no one needed to know. two days later, when they finally had enough courage to show themselves in the heavenly capital they were teased just enough.
and by this time they haven’t met pei ming yet nor did xie lian invite them over for dinner to paradise manor.