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Beyond Me (but I do it just for you)

Summary:

Nie Huaisang and his journey for advice on how to talk to Jiang Cheng (with minor issues along the way.)

Notes:

I don't use any of the plot in mdzs really? Since I changed up a lot too lol but I do use both cql and novel as inspiration~ Although the art is donghua because cql outfits terrify me XD I can do it...just so much time, donghua so much simpler

My only warning is uh implied/brief homophobia, which can be kind of skipped? It's the really long paragraph where JC rambles, starting at "The dog…he could go look for him later too. " and ends at " I don’t know what to say.”
Wa this is my first time doing a fic exchange. Like, ever!! I hope you liked this 🤧💙💙

Also to get to the part inspired by the song is pretty loose/brief? but it's mentioned throughout the fic XD but ah, I tried

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Nie Huaisang didn’t understand Jiang Cheng.

It’s not that he never tried to, it was how complex Jiang Cheng was. There was always a new way to look at him. It was almost fluctuating, the way his mind would change each time he saw or interacted with Jiang Cheng. It was a little odd. They were friends and Nie Huaisang knew Jiang Cheng bottled up his feelings too much.

He had been like that since Nie Huaisang had known him. Yet the man never dared to explore his feelings or get along with much of anyone. He never even took an interest in getting a wife! Which Nie Huaisang always found odd, wouldn’t Jiang Cheng want someone to help him run his sect? Someone to talk to, at least. So he wouldn’t be all alone at Lotus Pier.

The past few days have been chaotic. Or so the other sects have been told through gossip. Gossip spread quickly once it was learned that Sect Leader Jiang had almost beat a disciple to a pulp. Thankfully it had been stopped by some of the higher-up disciples, or so the story went.

He had truly gone mad!

No one knew why Jiang Cheng did, nor did they care to find out. All that mattered to gossipers was how wreckless a sect leader was being. Many people did speculate, and Huaisang being Huaisang, loved to hear the rumours. Even though they were about his dear friend!

Nie Huaisang pouted up at Wei Wuxian, “Wei-Xiong, you should know him best! Help me out here!”

He had met up with Wei Wuxian to discuss this matter. (Gossip, really.) They were in Caiyi, because they could freely discuss the gossip here due to Gusu Lan’s strict rules against such a thing. It was no fun! Nie Huaisang wasn’t sure how Wei Wuxian spent all his time there.

They were at a restaurant, loud enough where their conversation would be drowned out if they didn’t speak loud enough. Wei Wuxian held a cup of alcohol in his hand.

“You overestimate how much he tolerates me, but trust me, if he didn’t cuss me out every time I get one li1 near Lotus Pier I would most definitely help you!”

Nie Huaisang opened up his fan swiftly, as always, trying to think. “You’re right, seeing you would probably make him angrier than he already has been these past few days.” He let out a chuckle and closed up the fan, patting Wei Wuxian’s shoulder with it. “Thanks for your help anyway, now shoo before your Lan yells at me for taking you away for too long.”

“Good luck!” Wei Wuxian laughed before slipping away.

– ꕤ –

Nie Huaisang didn’t know why he thought it was a good idea to go visit Jiang Cheng after hearing all those nasty rumours, but he did. So here he was, not even sending a notice beforehand of his visit. Was it wrong to go see his friend? Yeah, the guy was pretty pissed the past few days and nights but that’s Jiang Cheng for you. Opening up his fan to try to avoid as many people as he could as he walked through Lotus Pier in search of Jiang Cheng. A few of the disciples watched him, their eyes lingering. What’s wrong with a quick visit! Though Nie Huaisang knew it was because no one really voluntarily went to visit Lotus Pier. It was unheard of, really.

Thankfully, a servant had seen him wandering around aimlessly and led him to Jiang Cheng’s study.

He slid the door open and there he was. The Jiang Sect Leader looked as pristine as always, except for his current expression. Jiang Cheng was already looking up at him, his face dark. Eyes narrowed at him. Clearly, Jiang Cheng must’ve heard him coming up to his study.

“Jiang-Xiong,” Nie Huaisang tried to smile politely despite Jiang Cheng’s fiery gaze. It made his skin crawl.

When Jiang Cheng didn’t reply, Nie Huaisang only shut the doors behind him and walked closer to Jiang Cheng’s desk. Now thinking that maybe it wasn’t a good idea to wear one of his best robes today. (But damn if he didn’t look elegant.)

It was quiet. Too quiet for Nie Huaisangs liking. He felt Jiang Cheng’s eyes on himself.

His eyes wandered around the room.

Jiang Cheng’s study was well-decorated. Clearly, the man had at least some taste. From the dark wood desk with beautifully hand-carved engraving to the fine stationery Jiang Cheng owned. Holding a brush he had gifted Jiang Cheng personally for his birthday celebration a while back. He knew so because of the painted handle, which was custom-painted and engraved with his name. Details that made the price rise up. But it was no problem to Nie Huaisang who constantly adorned himself with extravagant knick-knacks.

“Sect Leader Nie did not inform me of any visitors to Lotus Pier,” Jiang Cheng finally spoke, voice monotone. It seemed somewhat normal, but not. It was too dry. Like something had taken over Jiang Cheng.

Nie Huaisang shook his head, “Da-ge doesn’t know I’m here.” He smiled up at him again before finally taking a seat despite not being invited to. He noticed Jiang Cheng’s eyes widened, probably surprised at Nie Huaisang’s recklessness.

“Then leave. There is no business to discuss–”

“Jiang-Xiong,” Nie Huaisang whined, “stop being so serious for a second, we’re friends! Why are you acting so political with me all of the sudden? Is that because of the stupid–”

Jiang Cheng finally dropped his brush, looking fully at Nie Huaisang. Scooting his chair back until it made that uncomfortable scratching sound against the floor. Banging his fists on his desk after standing up and making the papers, brushes, and light-weight books on his desk strewn all over. Not seemingly uncharacteristic of Jiang Cheng, but Huaisang knew. Knew something was bothering Jiang Cheng more than he led on. Something was eating him from the inside.

“Shut up, Huaisang, don’t speak about that with me.” Jiang Cheng spat out through gritted teeth, eyes narrowing but not meeting Huaisang’s own.

It had been days and nights since that incident and Jiang Cheng was still so angry. As if it had happened yesterday. Was the argument really that bad? Now Nie Huaisang wondered how was it that no one knew exactly what had happened. Jiang Cheng must’ve made sure to shut everyone up well.

Nie Huaisang met his gaze despite how uncomfortable he was feeling right now. “Jiang Cheng, do you really think I believe what they say about you? My own friend?”

There was silence for a good while. Only the two stared down at each other.

“Just leave. By your own accord,” Jiang Cheng sighed. Waving his hand in dismissal. “I don’t want to talk with you right now.” He then sat back down on his chair.

Nie Huaisang wasn’t done here. It hadn’t even been long since he had arrived at Lotus Pier, he couldn’t just leave now. This was his friend after all.

“What upsets you so, Jiang-Xiong?”

Zidian crackled in Jiang Cheng’s finger and Nie Huaisang almost jumped. He was really planning his own death here. It only made Nie Huaisang’s mind wander. Jiang Cheng was this angry with something or someone.

“Leave Lotus Pier, Huaisang. You’ve overstayed your visit.”

Nie Huaisang furrowed his brows, he wanted to fight further but it probably wouldn’t be a good idea. So he swiftly sat up, gripping his fan in his fist as he stepped out. When he finally closed the door of the study he started walking fast to the exit.

The Jiang servants and disciples watched him leave with quiet gazes. It was almost nerve-wracking. Maybe he would need to talk with Wei Wuxian a little more.

– ꕤ –

“It didn’t go well? Bummer,” Wei Wuxian wheezed out, hiding his smile behind the back of his hand. Trying to calm himself as Huaisang’s expression grew grim. Quickly coming back to his senses, he quickly spoke up again, “He’s always pissy but I promise A-Cheng doesn’t mean it! You’re his good friend after all!”

Nie Huaisang looked to the side, trying to figure out what to do next. He knew Wei Wuxian wouldn’t be of much help, but it didn’t hurt to get some of his opinions instead of ignoring him. They were brothers after all, they knew each other best, right? He considered his options before looking up at Wei Wuxian once more. “Do you know where your sister is?”

“Jie?”

Huaisang nodded, “Who else?”

“She’s where she usually is, you know! At Jinlin Tai.” Wei Wuxian quirked his head to the side, “Why do you want to talk to A-Jie?”

“Doesn’t she have a better relationship with Jiang-Xiong? Well—better than you at least,” Nie Huaisang chuckled at Wei Wuxian’s pouty expression.

“Aiyo, you’re so mean!! ChengCheng definitely loves me just as much, ask him!!”

“I sure will,” Huaisang rolled his eyes before laughing. “I’ll see you later and tell you how it goes.”

Nie Huaisang walked out of the restaurant they were at, his robes swishing with every step he took. Fan in his hold as he made his way back to Qinghe, he would need help getting to Jinlin Tai. Even if he didn’t explicitly tell or ask his elder brother. Sometimes being cheeky was nice. So when he finally arrived at the Unclean Realm and was about to step into his own chamber, Nie Mingjue popped out of nowhere and called out to him.

“Huaisang,” his voice rumbly, deep—scary, in general. Huaisang turned around to face his brother but quickly opened up his fan and used it to cover the lower half of his face.

“Yes?”

Nie Huaisang tried not to meet his brother’s gaze but he couldn’t help himself. Their eyes met and he immediately got nervous. His palms were sweaty. Usually, Nie Huaisang would have been able to lie about anything really! Now, it was difficult as he watched his brother step forward.

“You keep going off…and Sect Leader Jiang told me you were at Lotus Pier, what are you doing over there?” Nie Mingjue narrowed his eyes.

“Ah!, da-ge! Da-ge!” Nie Huaisang fluttered his fan in front of him, looking away. “I only wanted to talk to Jiang-Xiong! You know how good–”

“Were you bothering him again?”

“Da-ge—Mm, how do I put this?” Huaisang closed his fan, pressing it to his lips. “Jiang-Xiong has been in a really bad mood, and I know that's how he is. You know? Like you!—Ah, wait, wait,” Nie Huaisang squawked as Nie Mingjue grabbed his fan, “Wait! I’ll explain, hold on—” Nie Huaisang got his fan back and huffed before going back to attempting to explain himself. “You know about the rumours, don’t lie. How Jiang-Xiong has—you know, and I really wanted to know why. Because,” Nie Huaisang flipped open his fan once more. Watching his elder brother roll his eyes at him, “—he’s my friend.”

“You could have just said so,” but Husaisang cut him off.

“Da-ge! If I told you, you would have told him. I mean he still kicked me out but ah, I just wanted to make sure he’s okay?” Huaisang shut his fan and gripped it in his shaking hand, knuckles turning white. “You know when I was there his robes were stained. There wasn’t much light in there but it was dark and—”

“Okay, okay,” Nie Mingjue

“I’m going to visit Jiang Yanli in the m—”

“No, you’re not, now go back to your room.”

Nie Huaisang opened and shut his mouth so many times, that he looked like a fish out of water. Only complying as Mingjue walked away before Huaisang could quarrel with him any further. Although, the argument did seem to be one-sided. Huaisang wouldn’t give up here though! No, he was determined to see Yanli, he knew she had a better relationship with Jiang Cheng than Wei Wuxian did. So she was the obvious choice Nie Huaisang should have gone first to.

So of course, Nie Huaisang did the smartest thing ever.

He stayed in his room and when it got dark he climbed out his window and left Qinghe as secretly as could to head to Jinlin Tai. He had hoped to get help going there, but stopping in little towns on the way wasn’t bad. Thankfully, he had brought enough money for this. Or else, ah, he really wouldn’t be in the best situation. The rest of the journey to Jinlin Tai wasn’t a struggle, and when he arrived he immediately went to seek out someone to take him to Yanli. Which was a very quick and easy process.

Yanli must’ve been surprised to see him because her eyes widened and it took her a second to greet him.

“Yanli! Ah, ah, sorry for the unexpected visit. I’m sure you’ve heard of Jiang-Xiong and uhm—how he has been doing the past few weeks, right?”

Jiang Yanli nodded, though her gaze fell. “Is something new going on with A-Cheng?”

Nie Huaisang shook his head, “It’s just that…I went to go visit him but he kicked me out,” he whined, “No one will tell me anything, it’s just rumours—and since you’re his sister, I thought I would come to ask you! For advice.”

“Oh!,” she smiled. “Absolutely, It does make me sad to see him so upset these days.” Her brows furrowed, patting the seat next to her. “We can talk, Jin Ling is still asleep.”

The conversation with Yanli was most helpful for Nie Huaisang, who might have admitted to having a crush on Jiang Cheng. Yanli only replied with, “I’m sure he will reciprocate” ah, Yanli! The things that did to Nie Huaisang’s little heart. Besides that, he was reminded of Jiang Cheng’s adoration for dogs. Of course Wei Wuxian would have never told him, he’s afraid of them.

– ꕤ –

“Da-ge I require a dog at the earliest convenience, right now.” Nie Huaisnag whined at Mingjue, fluttering his fan and making his face

Nie Mingjue stopped in his tracks, the brush in his hand, and slowly lifted his head to meet his younger brother’s gaze. “What?” He was puzzled. The expression on his face clearly gave the indication.

Nie Huaisang frowned, almost banging his hands on Nie Mingjue’s desk. “A dog, da-ge, I need a dog!” Trying to put on his best puppy eyes, even though they only worked about half of the time.

“Don’t you collect songbirds, why so suddenly do you want a dog? You’ve never cared about dogs.” Nie Mingjue was skeptical and Nie Huaisang wasn’t going to be having any of it!

“This isn’t about what I said before! This is now, and now A-Sang wants a dog,” he whined.

Nie Mingjue sighed “Are you going to take care of the dog?”

“Of course!” Nie Huaisang nodded, a hand over his heart. “I promise.”

Then, it was settled. It was only a few days later when Nie Mingjue went to take Huaisang to view a few dogs that were up for adoption. There were only about five.

The first two were the same breed, white fur and overly fluffy. Then the dog next to those was grey with some black. Not overly fluffy but still had a good amount of fur. It was kind of big and sat politely looking up at Huaisang. At that moment, Huaisang knew this was the dog. He didn’t have to look at the rest.

“This one.” Huaisang smiled. Jiang Cheng would like this dog, right?

He brought the dog home with him, with the dog trailing behind him. A loose Nie-styled collar around its neck.

It was only after a few days that Huaisang asked to go visit Lotus Pier and, of course, Mingjue said no. But after Huaisang whined for what seemed like hours, Mingjue finally agreed and now Huaisang was on his way to Lotus Pier with the dog which he had not named yet. He wanted to give Jiang Cheng that privilege.

It was terribly humid when they got to Lotus Pier, the dog breathing heavily with its tongue out, waltzing right into Lotus Pier with a tired Huaisang trailing after him. “Ah, wait—-” Huaisang looked up to try and spot the dog but was only greeted with the sight of Jiang Cheng, on the floor, robes a mess. His hairpiece falling out and the back of his hand to his nose. He quickly scrambled over to Jiang Cheng, quickly forgetting about the dog.

“Jiang-Xiong! Are—Are you okay? What the hell happened,” Huaisang reached out to Jiang Cheng who only smacked his hands away.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re very clearly not! Here…let me help.”

Jiang Cheng tried to push him away but Nie Huaisang didn’t let him. “You’re very badly beaten, ah, can you stand? Jiang-Xiong? Why are your robes so badly stained with…” Nie Huaisang shut up when Jiang Cheng met his gaze, the other man’s eyes were glossy as the back of his hand still covered his nose, stained red. “I…Jiang Cheng?”

“Shut up, idiot.” Jiang Cheng’s voice wavered and before Huaisang could properly process anything Jiang Cheng grabbed his arm and stood up. Dragging him away to his own quarters. Huaisang was too confused and shocked to say anything, so he let Jiang Cheng drag him along. When they were in his room, Jiang Cheng sat down in a nearby chair and let out a choked sob. He reached out for Jiang Cheng, frowning.

Placing a hand on Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, Huaisang spoke softly, “Who?”

Jiang Cheng shook his head, “I’m not fucking sad, I’m pissed.” Huaisang didn’t say anything, Jiang Cheng raised up his head. Eyes red and cheeks tear-stained. “I’m a sect leader, It’s unprofessional of me.”

“Jiang Cheng,” Nie Huaisang huffed. Walking to sit next to Jiang Cheng on a chair nearby. “We both know my brother also has a shit tempter, yet he is still a sect leader. Now…is this what happened last time too—I saw a…one of your…” Huaisang wasn’t sure how to word it, and seeing Jiang Cheng’s brow furrow deeper didn’t help. Making Huaisang nervous. He was about to grip his fan until he realised he didn’t have it, he must’ve dropped it out there. Ah! The dog…he could go look for him later too.

“They…ah, Huaisang, fuck—I, I should tell you first that,” Jiang Cheng balled up his fists. Fingers shaking. Knuckles turning white. He closed his eyes, “That I like you, and someone must’ve caught on, some-fucking-how, and now…there’s some who bother me about it. Because I’m a…you know,” Jiang Cheng looked down, eyes still closed. Trying very hard to stay calm, but Nie Husaisang could hear the quiver in his voice. He reached out to take his hand, Jiang Cheng looked up, eyes wide. Huaisang only nodded for him to continue. “I kicked out the last person who did that, because I didn’t want to have another fight…but this time, ergh, I couldn’t handle myself and I went after him. That’s why my robes are a mess and…” Jiang Cheng closed his eyes and let out a sob. “It has only been three people so far, the rest don’t seem to be doing this…they could care less about my personal life since they’re all low-level disciples.”

Jiang Cheng sighed, “I feel like I'm rambling to you, but I obviously couldn’t hide what you saw. When they mentioned you again I—I don’t know, all I saw was red. My blood and boiling and it just fucking happened, I don’t know what to say.”

Nie Huaisang intertwined their fingers, looking down at their joined hands. “It’s okay.” Was all he said, looking up to meet Jiang Cheng’s fallen gaze. “I like you too,” he continued. “I would be angry too if I ever heard that, and you have every right to feel the way you did.” Nie Huaisang brought his other hand, leaning forward to cup Jiang Cheng’s cheek. Their eyes met and Jiang Cheng’s black eye seemingly appeared worse as time went on. They would have to take care of that.

He smiled at Jiang Cheng, caressing his cheek with his thumb until he finally leaned forward to press a quick, chaste kiss to Jiang cheng’s lips.

“I think we have that sorted out, right? Let’s go fix your wounds, for once you’re the idiot here.” Nie Huaisang laughed.

Jiang Cheng smiled, a faint blush on his face, “Shut up.”

He let Jiang Cheng sit on the chair while he went out to fetch medical supplies, along the way he found the dog. Sitting out under the shade of a tree. While making sure not to drop what he was holding, he went over to the dog and called it to him. “Come on, boy, I’m sure Jiang Cheng will love you.” The dog barked, wagging its tail as it followed Nie Husaisang back to Jiang Cheng’s room.

Jiang Cheng looked up, his eyes meeting Nie Huaisang but then Huaisang noticed that his gaze shifted to the dog. A small smile on his face. “Is that your dog?”

“Actually, it’s your dog.”

Their gazes met again and Jiang Cheng full-on smiled but looked away to try and conceal it. “Thank you,” he muttered. Huaisang’s heart melted, this was the man he fell in love with! He was far too cute under that grumpy facade.

“Now sit up, I need to clean your wounds.”

“Did you name the dog?” Jiang Cheng sat up straight and let himself be taken care of by Huaisang. He was currently pressing a cold cloth to his eye and cleaning up all the dirt and dried up blood on his face.

Huaisang shook his head, “You should name it, he’s your dog.”

“Our.”

“Hm?”

“It’s our dog, A-Sang.”

Nie Huaisag smiled, “You’re being very bold today, I quite like it.” He laughed at Jiang Cheng’s confused expression but continued on cleaning him up. The dog laid down next to Jiang Cheng’s feet.

“His name can be Lucky.”

– ꕤ –

Everyone knew now, though they didn’t make a big deal out of it. Word spread quickly about Sect Leader Jiang’s partner. Which was ludicrous and made Nie Mingjue speak to Huaisang about it only to find out his brother was said, partner. Huaisang sure got the yell of his life that night and surely, Jiang Cheng would if he met up with Mingjue soon enough.

Wei Wuxican congratulated them both from afar after hearing about the dog. Jiang Cheng yelled at Wei Wuxian the whole time, as he handed Jiang Cheng some of the spring books not even Nie Huaisang had seen before. “Ah, wait didn’t I draw this one? Can’t believe you still have it Wei-Xiong!” Nie Huaisang said offhandedly as he took one of the books and flipped through it. Jiang Cheng was flushed the whole time.

Yanli was very pleased to see her brother happy, taking both of their hands and wishing them the best of luck. Even asking when their wedding would be, which made Jiang Cheng splutter out that it was way too soon, making Huaisang whine. “I would look so pretty in red, no? A-Cheng! Then after the ceremony, you can take—”  And then Jiang Cheng promptly cut him off. When they left Jinlin Tai, Jiang Cheng couldn’t even look at him. His face was so flushed! It was cute but funny at the same time, to see his love this way.

“Isn’t this just perfect?” Nie Huaisang smiled as he pressed his face into the back of Jiang Cheng’s robes. Breathing in his scent. His arms wrapped around Jiang Cheng from behind.

Lucky barked out from behind, wagging his tail.

Nie Huaisang couldn’t see Jiang Cheng, but he knew he was smiling. “When should we have it?”

“Have what, A-Cheng?”

Jiang Cheng, huffed, his cheeks must be so pink right now, “The wedding…our—our wedding.”

“Spring sounds nice, we can finally show everyone how perfect we are.” Nie Husaisang smiled, craning his neck up to look over Jiang Cheng’s shoulder.

“You talk too much, just like Wei Wuxian.”

“But you love me! You tolerate me because we are simply soulmates.”

“I do. I do it just for you.”

Notes:

1. 里,lǐ — 500 meters or 1,640 feet or 0.311 miles

methinks I like sangcheng more than I did before LOL i mean I did before but now??? yes please

thank you for reading ~