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The very first time he felt the bond was during that split second when he faced the immensity of space, alone, with nothing but a space suit and the desperate, clawing panic in his stomach to find her now.
He couldn't quite comprehend what was happening at the time. The change was subtle in his mind, like the faint trickle of a crack in a dam, a luminous channel connecting his soul to hers. Nothing of this was apparent to him at that moment, his body and brain too busy acting on pure adrenaline and primal instinct.
(Find her.)
He intrinsically knew where she was, could envision her form, floating nearly breathless before a backdrop of stars with unimaginable vastness in between. He kept his eyes locked on that seemingly empty point in front of him, maneuvering the suit's boosters carefully. With each passing second, he felt the strain of her lungs as the oxygen slowly ran out in her suit, and felt his own self gasping for air, on the verge of hyperventilating, whether from anxiety or the bond it was impossible to say.
A silhouette. The faint light of her helmet in the oppressing darkness, finally providing a proof that he wasn't completely crazy yet. And then strangely; echoes. Jumbled, at first, whispering, crying out silently, assaulting his psyche like the pinpricks of needles. The closer he got, the louder the anguished voices became, yet only one sentence in particular kept ringing in his mind, over and over, distinct from the rest:
This is it. This is how I die.
The finality, the understanding, the tone of acceptance of this statement made his heart drop in his chest and his blood run cold.
No! Don't give up!
Mere meters now, and he realized her back was now to him, the bulky oxygen tank of the suit shielding her helmet from his view. He spread his arms wide in anticipation of catching her.
Another voice, louder, clearer still than the first:
I'm sorry, everyone...
Rinoa! I'm right there with you! Listen to me!
I'm so sorry, Squall...
Something broke in him at that statement, but then he crashed into her and held her to him as best he could despite the massive suits. It took a couple of seconds before he mustered the courage to move her around so she was facing him, afraid she'd slip and be lost forever this time. He fumbled with the small control panel on her suit's chest plate frantically, finally finding the emergency five-minute oxygen reserve button. He straightened up then, their eyes finally locking on each other, stormy blues into chestnut browns. An eternity seemed to pass before she suddenly found her breath again, inhaling forcefully until it burned her throat.
For a second she was sure he was an hallucination from the dwindling oxygen. A last vision of that strange, infuriating, fascinating man she had come to care for deeply in the last few weeks. A last reprieve before the emptiness of death. But as she took in more air, as his face became clearer to her and she could focus again; she had to believe the impossible and that he had actually come for her.
And then the strangest thing happened, amidst this whirlwind of strange events:
Squall heard her talk to him, as clean and crisp as if they were face to face on earth, without those damned awkward suits and the vacuum of space between them.
Squall... thank you.
Her lips were not moving, except to inhale and exhale the precious oxygen in short puffs, fogging the lower half of her helmet. His grip on her arms tightened further, never breaking eye contact, oblivious for a moment of anything else but her voice, directly in his mind. Rinoa had no idea how she did it, but she knew her words went through to him.
I...I heard your voice...
She tried to grip his forearms with matched intensity but only managed a weak hold. She was exhausted, drained from the possession and lack of oxygen and fear and now hope and gratitude and love, all blended together in a dizzying fatigue. Her eyes became glassy and at this sight, Squall felt like he was a mile away from her still. Not nearly close enough.
"...I can't believe it." He muttered to himself, and somehow knew that Rinoa had heard him- no, felt his disbelief even though it didn't make sense. Nothing made sense. This whole thing still felt too surreal to be true and yet-
Are we gonna make it?
Again, her voice in his head, her gaze boring into his, never severing the connection.
Right. They were still free-floating in space. With practically no fuel left and mere minutes of oxygen. Squall finally looked away from her and, in doing so, could swear he felt a sudden, almost imperceptible wave of... cold, envelopping him. Like stepping outdoor into the night after having enjoyed the warmth of a home. It wasn't exactly unpleasant, actually it felt quite familiar, as if this state was normally how people should feel.
"Don't worry." He spoke resolutely and knew she had understood when she briefly nodded her head, blinking back a few tears. He took in his surroundings at last; the impossibly giant moon looming over them and the blood-red lunar cry spewing a column of monsters down on earth, at their feet. Far, far down he thought he could spot the dwindling dot of the escape pod where he left Ellone. The complete silence of space hit him then, his faint breaths the only sound breaking it, making him realize the severity of their situation and just how much humans weren't meant to be here, at all.
The fact remained that he did worry, and a quick wave of anger at himself made his ears feel hot. He felt completely helpless right now. He was never this careless, never without a plan and several backup ones in case something went sideways. He hated being caught off guard and hated improvising even more; the massive pink scars on his shoulder and back from the debacle that had been Edea's parade a testament of the last time he'd had to improvise.
(What now? Die together in space? I can't even save her? Come on, think!)
This wasn't him. And yet... he'd never felt more alive, more purposeful, being right where he should be. As he had told Ellone rather desperately earlier, he'd absolutely never felt like this before in his life. It was... invigorating and absolutely terrifying at the same time.
Before a new wave of irritation swept through him at his inability to presently strategize, he spotted a growing mass out the corner of his eye. It was coming from the moon and seemed to be dark crimson in color just like the tear, which was why he hadn't noticed it until now. Observing the shadow carefully, he could faintly make out what seemed to be wings, a neck, the coutours of a head... decidedly dragon-like in appearance. Annoyance gave way to panic as he realized it may very well be a stray monster, but as the 'dragon' gently turned on its side, he just couldn't believe his eyes:
(Is... is this a ship!? Hyne, it actually is a ship. It must've been stationned in orbit around the moon and launched into space when the lunar cry began, had to be... There is no way else. The sheer luck...)
It was coming their way too, slowly barelling straight towards them. His arm snaked around Rinoa's waist and he held her tightly to him, his other hand on the boosters of his suit. He shot a quick glance at her, noticing how she, too, couldn't seem to believe what was happening.
''Rinoa, hold on...''
She put both arms around his shoulders as best she could and his heart jumped in his throat despite the lack of actual contact. He then gave a a series of quick pulses of fuel, just enough to propel them in the right direction while saving as much of it as possible. He found the entry chamber quickly and marveled when it actually opened up to let them in. Inside, a quick look at the control panel indicated that there was oxygen on the ship, and he stared at the blue screen for a couple of seconds, re-reading and re-checking everything, his disbelief overpowering him for a moment.
When they were finally out of their suits and standing face to face though, it seemed as though Squall had donned his regular ice armor again. He just couldn't bring himself to reciprocate Rinoa's advances; the fear of touching, being touched, opening up still too much, even though a growing part inside him wanted nothing more than to crash into her and hold her. The cold, calculating, borderline perssimistic part of him took over again and the only thing he could see now was the problem of getting back alive. This felt familiar. This felt safe, even if it was self-sabotaging. To then see that the ship was infested with monsters that had killed the previous crew certainly didn't help.
He'd relax when they were both back on earth in one piece.
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The instant the Airstation Controller wished him godspeed returning home was when Squall felt he could finally stop holding his breath. The relief was almost euphoric. Their luck seemingly hadn't run out yet; entering the coordinates and preparing the ship for re-entry into the earth's atmosphere had been surprisingly easy. As he turned off the gravity to save fuel, he glanced back at Rinoa from the pilot's seat and couldn't suppress a small smile when she yelped and giggled, lifting off the ground and executing a graceful somersault. Caught off guard by his own emotions again, and frankly, happy to be alive, he pushed himself off his seat and caught her in his arms, gently releasing her near her seat.
''Go sit over there. Put your seat belt on.'' It came out harsher than he'd intended, more like an order, and he bit his tongue in irritation at himself. But when he felt Rinoa's body gently settling on his lap, her arms around his neck, it felt as if his brain had just short-circuited and all the air had left his lungs at once. He could only tense up, yet noticed he had instinctively put his arm on her back to support her, as if he was watching this all unfold from outside his body.
''We'll be home soon?'' She whispered into his fur collar, her breath warm on his neck.
''Hopefully. Now go sit down.'' (Hyne, what the hell is wrong with me?)
Hours ago, in those suits up in outer space, seeing her tear-filled eyes and feeling her gratitude... having her in his arms, close, was the only thing he could think about. But the distant feeling of warmth and connection he had felt with her seemed now just wishful thinking. It couldn't have happened; how could something like this be possible? He was being naive, he'd get hurt again like this. People always did. No, he wouldn't be caught off guard by her again. This was safe.
''Just a little longer.'' She whispered, barely audible. Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, inhaling all that was him; gunpowder, leather, a bit of sweat, something metallic, not unlike blood.
''Why are you holding on to me like this?'' He didn't know why he'd even asked instead of just shoving her off him. Hyne knew he would have, with anybody else. He knew why she was hugging him close, he wasn't completely stupid. But his mind felt fried and overloaded and exhausted and it was the perfect mix for some long buried, vulnerable part deep within him to come bubbling to the surface. He grasped the hand that was resting on his shoulder with the intent to gently disentangle her from him, put some distance between them, but this quickly died down at her soft reply:
''You don't like this, Squall?'' The back of her other hand was gently brushing his jaw, hesitating, afraid it would be too much and he'd flee. He'd done it for far less in the past.
His hand fell down loosely at his side, any attempt to push her away extinguished.
He did like this. He absolutely did. It scared him how much he did. How easy it was for her to unravel him like this. So much for never being caught off guard by her again. He lasted a whole two minutes.
''Just not used to it.'' For some reason, he just couldn't simply tell her. It was too raw an answer, so he deflected. It was his defense mechanism and he used it expertly when he did not want to give a clear answer but keep the conversation flowing, elsewhere.
Rinoa understood and a small, albeit triumphant smile spread across her face.
''How about when you were little? Didn't you feel safe and secure being held by your parents?'' She asked, idly playing with the fur of his collar.
''I can't remember anything about my parents... But... Ellone was there for me. Ellone was there to hold my hand.'' While it was true, he wondered not for the first time if there had ever been genuine love from her. After all, she, too, had ultimately left him.
''Made you feel safe and secure?''
('Less lonely' would be a better descriptor.) Squall pondered if he had ever felt truly safe and secure in the company of someone else in his life. The thought left him feeling empty for a second. That... wasn't normal, was it? He'd never looked at it this way before, but 'less lonely' and 'safe and secure' were very different concepts. Hypervigilance was still hypervigilance even if he was with someone else. He never could turn that off, from a very young age.
Rinoa cleared her throat and he abandonned that train of thought. He knew that she knew he was ruminating; he was certainly making that frowny face she so skillfully recreated to him once.
''Sure. But she left. Just disappeared.'' He answered, perhaps a bit dryly. Rinoa lifted her head to look him in the eyes. Squall felt awkward for a second, being the recipient of such a tender look, but he couldn't look away from her. And then he felt it again. Same as when he stepped into the void earlier. The strange connection that made him experience feelings that weren't his own. Feelings of sadness, pity, compassion... Love. And then the words just kept pouring out.
''I'm afraid. Afraid of having that feeling of comfort taken away.'' He looked away from her, unable to meet her eyes any longer while saying something this honest.
(What has come over me?)
The alien feelings abated somewhat then, and he closed his eyes for a moment to regain his composure.
''You were afraid of losing us? Is that why you kept your distance?'' Her eyes were still locked on him, he felt her unwavering resolve to get to the bottom of this.
(Hyne, am I that easy to read?) It seemed he could put up walls of concrete and steel and ice around him yet Rinoa could topple them over with a whisper of his name.
''I was always alone.'' Was the only reply he could offer her. Deflecting again. But Rinoa was aware of this trick, and thus she had her answer.
''Squall...'' She murmured tenderly, and brought her forehead to his ear, her face nestled in the crook of his neck. Her hand tangled itself in the hair at the back of his head, and she gently brought him even closer, daring to test his boundaries once more. His body stiffened on instinct, but he didn't move, didn't push her away. He had trouble concentrating on her words now that she was so close, the scent of her enthralling him completely.
''You missed out on all the good things in life. You've missed out on so much.''
''...Maybe.'' He didn't give a damn right now. All that mattered was the scent of lilac in her hair, her hand on his neck and her breath on his skin.
''Definitely.'' She chuckled when he gave an exasperated sigh and pulled away slightly, suddenly self-conscious of the way he'd been enjoying her proximity. This was starting to feel way too intimate, even though his usual comfort zone had been shattered for a long while now.
''I like it like this. I liked having my mom hold me. My dad, too, back when we got along.'' She mused, thinking aloud just to keep the conversation going, sensing the obvious discomfort in his posture.
''I'm not your mom.'' He blurted out and immediately felt like an idiot for saying it. He was fraying at the edges, the day's events undoubtedly catching up to him.
She gave a throaty laughter against his shoulder that, had he been standing up, would've made him weak in the knees without question. He wanted to hear it more.
''No, of course not! But now... Squall, you're the one who gives me the most... comfort.''
Was she hesitating? Unsure of herself? It seemed as though his doubts had rubbed off on her as well. As if to validate her own feelings to herself, she emphasized:
''Comfort and happiness.'' He melted a little at the way she said it, and could actually feel those exact emotions radiating from her. But then:
''And annoyance and disappointment, too!''
That laugh once more, when she caught him rolling his eyes none-too-subtly. He sighed but his heart wasn't really into it, in fact, his heart was soaring, he felt dizzy and light-headed, not unlike being drunk.
''...Wha-''
''-tever.''
They stared into each other's eyes for a moment, and the intensity threatened to engulf him, consume him. The love he felt from her was overwhelming, and he could only stare in awe at her honesty, her willingness to open up completely to him, without condition. She gave a quiet, somewhat nervous chuckle at the way he studied her after what was supposed to be a humorous moment, and it snapped him out of it. Resting her head back on his shoulder, she did not notice the subtle half-smile on his lips.
''You really should get back to your seat now.'' He whispered half-heartedly after a little while.
''Just a little longer.'' Yet again she pulled him close, their foreheads touching, and closed her eyes. Unconsciously his whole body froze, but he couldn't get enough. Rationally, he knew she'd be safer in her seat, but she had taken the rational part of his brain, inspected it, deemed it useless and casually thrown it out the window.
''We're gonna make it home, right?'' She whispered, and anxiety washed over him. This was... not his usual brand of anxiety. It was definitely hers.
(What is happening, how is this happening? This is not para-magic. Is she even aware of this? Does she also feel my emotions? Am I going crazy?)
''We can only hope.'' He replied, trying to quell the butterflies in his stomach. Maybe there was a sliver of rationality left in him. He tried to hold on to it.
She shifted abruptly, pulling back to look at an unknown point behind him, avoiding his gaze. He was both relieved and disappointed at the motion.
''When we get back... We won't be able to stay... together, huh?'' That hesitation once more, almost stuttering to get the words out. This wasn't like her. He almost felt nauseous, eaten with worry.
''...Maybe.'' He could only answer, unsure of where she was going with this, but feeling the knot in his chest tighten. He put his hand back atop hers, a feeble attempt to recapture some of her warmth, bring her back to him.
''No one can predict the future, there are no guarantees. Those were your words... Rinoa.'' He felt the blush creep to his cheeks and hoped to Hyne she wouldn't notice. Somehow, speaking her name like this, almost a whisper, so close to one another... it felt very... intimate, again.
''That's not what I meant.'' She sighed, defeated.
''Look, we'll figure out what to do once we get back.'' Now this wasn't like him at all. Always the strategist, always the man with the plan, always two steps ahead. Truth was, he knew what would likely happen once they were back. He just didn't want to face it. At all. He just couldn't accept the obvious. They'd, at the very least, detain her for questionning, at worst, arrest her and... The realization left him feeling very cold, and it only got worse once Rinoa pushed herself to her seat, her gaze downwards, the bond fading.
''They'll all be... angry at me.'' She muttered, and he almost asked her to repeat herself.
''Angry?'' He wasn't sure where that was coming from, had barely begun to ponder the thought when the crackly, static voice of Airstation reached them demanding a reply. Squall straightened up, answering an affirmative that he'd received the message.
---We have some questions for you. We're collecting escape pods and we have a good idea of what happened.---
To Squall's left, Rinoa made a sound that he wasn't able to decipher right away, his attention being fully on the control panel in front of him.
---I hear no one from Lunar Base is on the Ragnarok.---
He turned to her briefly, but she was shielding herself from him, looking the other way.
---How many of you are there?---
''Just two.''
Rinoa briskly turned back to look straight at him. He kept his eyes on the control panel but he felt her gaze on him. A bit confused, he almost missed the next command from Airstation:
---...Your names?---
''Squall. I'm a SeeD from Balamb Garden.''
---And the other?---
''...Rinoa.''
Her gaze fell back on the ground then, and she closed her eyes. Squall saw her and didn't quite understand her reaction. It dawned on him heavily just as the reply from Airstation came through.
---Rinoa? The sorceress!? She's on the ship!?---
(The..? Oh...)
He cursed under his breath. So it was true. Rinoa was a sorceress. He wasn't exactly surprised by this but to have it confirmed somewhat imposed a sense of finality to it. He had no choice but to accept the obvious now, however much he wanted to ignore it. He fully turned to her and she to him, looking crestfallen and defeated. Gone from her eyes were the laughter and teasing, replaced now by fatigue and a degree of fatalism. He felt horrible, felt like he'd messed up just now. But what could he have done differently?
''I've... become a sorceress. I can't stay with you anymore, Squall.''
It truly had been wishful thinking. Of course she was right. Of course she was to be taken from him. Of course. He tried to remain calm, even though the only thing running through his mind was an unending string of 'no no no no NO NO NO'.
---Respond, Ragnarok.---
''I don't want the future. I want the present to stand still. I just want to stay here with you...'' Her voice cracked and Squall felt a steel boulder in his stomach that froze him solid.
---Respond, Ragnarok!---
''Nobody will want to be around me anymore...'' She brought a hand to her mouth, stifling a sob as she turned away from him, trying to maintain a semblance of composure, her small frame shaking with poor restraint.
---The sorceress will be seized upon arrival. Be sure to follow the crew's instructions.---
''I'm... scared.'' She cried quietly then, and if Squall thought his brain had been fried before, now it just simply shut down. He couldn't move, couldn't speak, could hardly breathe. Torn by indecision, his mind barking orders at him to respond to Airstation and be an exemplary SeeD, but his heart screaming to ignore everything but her.
---Squall, do you copy? Is the sorceress listening, too?---
''I'm so scared, Squall.'' She brought her knees up on the seat, hiding her face in them and the cascade of her hair, unable to stop the tears from flowing. Great racking sobs shook her whole body, and a wave of absolute terror radiated from her, straight into him. The feeling was so raw, so primal, Squall wasn't sure he'd ever felt anything like it before. The closest he could relate was the day he realized he'd never get adopted as a child.
For the second time that seemingly unending day, something broke in him at the sound of her misery, and he could finally choose what to do. Violently he undid his seat belt and pushed himself to her seat, kneeling, his face level with hers. Lips tightened into a thin line, brow furrowed, he took both her hands in his and brought them to his cheeks.
Look at me.
The sudden gesture, so unlike him, shocked her out of her distress for a second, and she could only comply.
Squall, please, I don't wanna go back. I don't-
I know. I know. It's okay.
The pain he felt in his chest was nearly unbearable, and he brought her into him to try and fill the hole that seemed to be expanding under his ribs. Unconsciously she was trying to make herself as small as possible, her hands gripping the front of his shirt as she tried to hide within his jacket, afraid he'd pull back. Her tears stained his collar, flowing down his neck but he held her tighter still. Time seemed frozen for a long while, neither of them budging, and eventually Rinoa's trembling subsided. She looked up at him, eyes red and puffy and there was a hopelessness there that sent his stomach into knots and his feelings all over the place.
(I don't know what to do! This is just another crossroad in my life. But, for the first time, I don't know which way to go. I've come this far because I've... fallen for you, Rinoa.)
Am I just supposed to let you go?
He briefly wondered again if the strange connection he seemed to have with her was one-sided when she gave a small smile, eyes suddenly softer, full of longing, knowing. Her hands found his cheeks again, and she gave a long, exhausted sigh that seemed to get stuck in her throat.
''It... it's for the best that I go with them, right? They'll... they'll seal me up, I won't hurt anyone like this. You have to let me go.''
(Hyne, she knows. She knows! This really is a two-way thing, whatever this is.)
Her lower lip was quivering, but she tried really hard to be rational about this, he knew. And it was the rational thing to do. It didn't make the whole thing less heartbreaking though. It was in fact worse.
''Is this what you want?'' That feeling of derealization again, as if he was actually behind his body and watching a perfect clone speak in his stead. Empty.
''It doesn't matter what I want. What matters is that I do what's right. For all the trouble I've caused, the least I could do is take myself out of the equation.''
It matters to me!
She bit her lower lip, her gaze falling to his silver Griever necklace in an attempt to avoid his intense and decidedly honest stare. Trying to find the courage that the lion represented, she quickly blurted out;
''Look, there's something I have to tell you. Out in space, before you rescued me... I was possessed. There was... another sorceress inside me.''
He'd already figured she hadn't done this on purpose. The way she'd moved back on the Lunar Base, those cold, empty eyes that stared into the distance... Nothing about it was anything like the Rinoa he knew. The way she effortlessly threw him against a wall when he tried to stop her... with a mere flick of her hand. Even now the memory chilled him.
He realized she was expecting a reply of some sort in the way she looked up at him, eyes pleading him to believe her.
''So that's what really happened.'' (I guess it makes sense, her also being a sorceress? Is this a normal sorceress thing to do?)
''Her name is Ultimecia, and she's a sorceress from the future. She's trying to achieve some kind of... time compression. I think she... she'd be the only one who would be able to exist in such a world. She, and no other. I know this sounds completely insane, but the second she started... possessing me, I knew.''
Squall knew he'd need a moment to process all this. It did sound absolutely fantastical, but if the last few weeks were any indication this could very well be true. He had a fleeting thought back to a time, seemingly a lifetime ago, where all he worried about was gaining Ifrit's favor and becoming a SeeD.
Rinoa knew she wasn't getting a reply for a while; the deep furrow of Squall's brow telling her he was considering all the implications of her story. Her mind was made; it was only a matter of telling him about it. Ripping the bandage off, in a way. She knew from the moment she regained her sense of self, lost in space, that if she didn't outright die out there, there was only one other way this was gonna end for her. The sooner Squall accepted it, the better she would be at also accepting it.
In a way she was glad the whole gang wasn't here. She'd miss them dearly, but it was better like this. Just Squall.
Squall would understand. In time. She drew in a breath, lightly toying with the rings on her necklace.
''And well, as long as I'm free, she'll continue to use me to accomplish her goal. I... we can't let that happen, right? I should... I think I should go.''
NO. I just got you back. I'm NOT leaving your side again.
Her eyes watered at the raw emotions spoken through the newly-formed bond they shared, that she had yet to completely understand. It just felt so natural to share this connection with him... But she had to stick to her word, even when she knew she wanted nothing more than to kiss him deeply at this moment, see how far that bond could deepen... but no.
She straightened up slowly, her hands falling to her lap, and Squall realized he was the one now gripping her arms, anchoring her to him.
''I don't know what I'd do if I ended up hurting any one of you, if I... if I lost control. And... SeeD's goal is clear. No, I don't want to put anyone through this, the risk is just too great...''
''I would never-'' He started to protest, hurt, but she quickly interrupted him, meeting his eyes again.
''I know. And that's precisely why I must do this, Squall. Please. This is bigger than any of us.''
How quickly had their usual roles reversed. She was now the one being pragmatic, rational; and there he was, letting his emotions muddy the waters of duty against selfishness.
For a moment he seemed to be searching for something to say, something to argue about further, but he could see it was no use. His hands left her arms and it was his turn to look to the floor, defeated.
(She is right. Of course she is right. Hyne, I'm such a moron. Why did I ever entertain the idea that this would work out...?)
A small, intrusive voice from deep in the darkness within him simply answered, dripping venom:
Everyone. Leaves. You.
He felt horrible for even acknowledging the thought. This wasn't about him. Rinoa was sacrificing her life to keep everyone safe, and he was moping about being lonely? He'd honor her decision, even if it broke him utterly.
''Okay.'' He said silently. Then once more: ''Okay.'' A bit more resolute. He gave her a sharp nod, before taking a minute to steel himself; to regain his composure and rebuild the armor around him, and then went back to his seat.
Thank you, Squall.
He felt wholly undeserving of such gratitude, when all he wanted to do was steal the Ragnarok and just go somewhere far away from SeeDs and Garden and duties, with her by his side. But he dismissed the thought; her decision. He found himself admiring her selflessness.
Out the corner of his eye he saw a few more tears flowing down Rinoa's cheeks, but she remained calm, almost detached, looking straight ahead at the approaching expanse of the Earth in front of them.
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When they finally landed, the extraction crew wasted no time surrounding them, surrounding her, cautiously asking her to come with them, for the good of humanity. Rinoa acquiesced, took a deep breath and pursed her lips, and just... went.
Rinoa! Please... don't go...
He hadn't meant to do it, the emotion welling up in him was just too strong to contain, too strong to tame. And again he felt selfish, stupid, like a child. She stopped walking, turning towards him, and without even thinking he had caught up to her.
''I'm sorry. I have to.'' But a flash of realization lit her eyes then; ''Oh, I... your ring-''
''No. You keep it.''
''You sure?''
The look he gave her was clear enough. She smiled, but it was empty, broken. She turned back and started walking again.
(...This is what Rinoa decided. There's nothing I can do about it.)
(...Right?)