Work Text:
🎁A gift thread for @cleromance🎁 who has filled my timeline with much joy and suffering and my heart with cumplane. Enjoy my first Liushen, ♒️弟弟
Liu Qingge brought the first gift in the fifth month of regularly clearing Shen Qingqiu’s meridians. It was a small token meant to be a courting gift — the first of many, he hoped, if Shen Qingqiu accepted.
“Liu-shidi,” he began with a sigh. “This shixiong should be the one giving you gifts. I’m demanding too much of your time.”
There was always an edge of /something/ in Shen Qingqiu’s tone he could never decipher. This was not the acceptance he was hoping for.
“It’s fine,” Liu Qingge gritted out. “Do what you want.”
Then he turned and fled Qing Jing Peak with what little dignity he had left. He didn’t need to push his suit if the man was not interested.
The next month he returned and saw his gift sitting on a shelf in the bamboo house in place of pride. Hm.
“I saw this at the market and thought of shidi,” Shen Qingqiu said from behind his fan when Liu Qingqiu joined him next.
Liu Qingge flushed down to the roots as he pulled the gift closer.
“Does shidi like it?” The demon of a man said, flirtatious and irresistible.
“Yes,” he assured, repressively. His suit was accepted! Shen Qingqiu gave HIM a courting gift in return.
They continued like this for the better part of a year. His courting and, later, betrothal gifts filled Shen Qingqiu’s home. They were well-tended to and kept free of dust by the ridiculous disciple who kept glaring at him.
“Shidi, really, there’s no need for all this. Oh fine. Fine. Yes, I will come with you on your next trip.”
They traveled together. He always invited Shen Qingqiu when he knew the beast would be something of interest. The man was positively giddy every time they nearly died to something with more than four arms or acid breath. Though, ultimately, he was content to sit in the sun and fan himself as Liu Qingge did the fighting on his own.
“Well done! Shidi is so masterful… This head is… for me?”
Meanwhile, Liu Qingge began writing to his family to announce his plans to wed and request guidance on the dowry. When he felt confident in the offer, he approached Zhangmen-shixiong. He wasn’t ASKING permission, but he liked his head attached to his body, thank you.
Liu Qingge invited the sect leader to tea. He gently mentioned the size of the dowry, as an aside. Yue Qingyuan pursed his lips and mumbled a benign comment. Internally, Liu Qingge felt his stomach clench and immediately contacted his family for more.
When he went to town next, he stopped by the fortune teller for auspicious dates and placed an order for red silk brocade.
“Red? That is certainly a flattering color for shidi. I prefer my greens and whites.”
Fine. That was fine. He would marry Qingqiu in sackcloth if that was what the man wanted so long as they were spiritually bound together for all eternity.
And, no, he was not intimidated by the tiny kitten glares Luo Binghe shot at him every time. The child could pout all he wanted; Shen Qingqiu had accepted Liu Qingge.
They were wed in the winter, though Shen Qingqiu had a somewhat puzzled expression the entire time they were pouring tea for Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge’s parents.
Liu Qingge was disappointed but not entirely surprised when Shen Qingqiu did not immediately become more affectionate. Perhaps he was uncertain of his husband’s interests.
No one would accuse the Bai Zhan War God of inviting tenderness. He would need to make it clear that such things didn’t bother him.
With rigid posture, Liu Qingge put a hand on his husband’s waist and leaned in close to kiss his cheek. Shen Qingqiu blushed prettily and snapped open his fan.
“Shidi,” he said, hesitantly. “Do you LIKE this shixiong?”
/Idiot/, he thought fondly, and dipped Shen Qingqiu in his arms and kissed him for all that he was worth.
And they lived happily ever after.
[fin]
Funny outtakes
You may decide for yourself when it's funniest for Shen Qingqiu to have realized they are married.
Liu Qingge had to go back to his parents THREE TIMES before Yue Qingyuan stopped making a face over the dowry.
They go monster hunting for a honeymoon. Shen Qingqiu assumes it's one of their usual trips, but he DOES enjoy getting to fuck Liu Qingge without worrying about Binghe walking at the wrong time.
Liu Qingge gives him an itemized list of dowry stuff “Here”
Shen Qingqiu goes through 15 stages of grief realizing Liu Qingge is in love with some woman and planning to get married and his face goes on a journey. He makes himself grab Liu Qingge’s wrist and say: “Your wife will be lucky to have you.”
Liu Qingge (head empty, dick hard), internally: He wants to be my wife? WIfE wife wIFe wiFE WIfe
I really enjoy embarrassing First Times. Picture Shen Qingqiu (repressed, terrible at masturbating) coming within 30 seconds of Liu Qingge getting a skilled hand on his dick, blushing scarlet, and promptly hiding his face for the next ten minutes while Liu Qingge tries to coax him back out.
Re: when SQQ figures out they’re married
Sisky: I think it is probably when lqg is balls deep
Me: I'd put money on Binghe telling him as he's fighting LQG for Shizun's hand. (like 3 years later)
Sisky: binghe you are 17 😭 you cannot marry your already married shizun who is being tenderly dicked down by the bai zhan war god every night
Sisky: bahahaha the amount of times binghe angrily cranked one out cuz they forgot silencing talismans
Me: SQQ forgot. LQG "forgot"
Sisky: 😌 getting glared at over breakfast the next morning and smugly pretending not to notice
Me: He can't do anything to Liu shishu's food either because Shizun always steals bites 😫
Sisky: he steals fights AND lqg is always putting choice bits in sqqs bowl 😭 why does liu.... shishu ruin EVERYTHING