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Raven spreads out the tablecloth while Koriand’r hangs streamers, Donna begins carrying in food, and Wallace blows up balloons. She’s never been to a birthday party on Earth (or ever), and her stomach buzzes with nerves. Parties are no place for an empath, and yet here she is, helping set one up.
Even though she can’t quite shake the ever present urge to dimension-shift away, she wants to be at the party. It’s Victor’s nineteenth birthday, the first one he’s celebrated as a Titan and as her friend. She can’t miss that.
Raven will be nineteen soon, too. Her birthday is the tenth day of the seventh Azarathian month. She isn’t quite sure what day that would be on Earth. She has long since lost count of the Azarathian calendar.
It doesn’t bother her much that she won’t know the exact day. She wouldn’t want a party to celebrate it anyway.
(Her nightmares always get worse around her birthday. What better time to be reminded of where she comes from, of what her destiny is? How many birthdays does she have left as her true self?)
She shakes her head, trying to clear it. This isn’t the time to worry. She’s here to help Victor celebrate, not infect him with melancholy.
She helps Donna load the food on the table, worrying a little about placement. She doesn’t know anything about how a party should be. What if she does something wrong?
“Are you alright, Raven?” Donna asks. “You look a little pale.”
“I am fine.” Raven says automatically. “I just… I do not want to hinder the party.”
Donna smiles encouragingly. “You’re doing fine. We’re all glad you’re here.”
Her words warm Raven a bit. She feels slightly less apprehensive as Richard flips off the lights and they all hide, waiting. Before long, she senses Victor’s presence. A couple moments later, the others hear his footsteps.
“He’s coming.” Donna whispers. In the next moment, the door opens.
“Hey! Where is everyone?” Victor says. “Why’re all the lights out?”
The lights come back on in a blinding flash. The rest of her friends yell “Surprise!”, but Raven is briefly too stunned to form the words.
The others run up to Victor to give him birthday wishes, but Raven hangs back. Victor’s suspicions about her have only recently lifted. She doesn’t want to ruin his special day by being an unwanted presence.
Things quiet down a little, and the others begin talking amongst themselves. Raven approaches the refreshment table with some vague apprehension. She isn’t very accustomed to Earth food yet.
She ladles a spoonful of the punch Koriand’r had brought for the party and eyes it carefully. She’d said it was fruit flavored, but what fruit in nature has such a pink color?
“Oh, hi, Raven!” Wallace comes up to her, smiling. “How are you?”
Raven takes a sip of the punch and almost spits it back out. Dear Azar, how is it possible to make something this sweet? “Uh… I am well, Wallace. And you?”
“You don’t seem to be enjoying yourself. Is something wrong?”
Raven regrets trying the punch. She thinks her mouth might be going numb. It would be rude just to pour it out, wouldn’t it? She must do it surreptitiously. “No. Excuse me, Wallace.”
“Yeah, sure…” He seems a bit sad about something, but Raven is too consumed in her mission to pay him much heed.
She slips off to the bathroom to dispose of her drink. On the way back, she notices that one of the library’s door is open a crack. She peeks inside to see Koriand’r. Raven can’t see her face, but she can sense sadness from her.
Raven walks in, knocking softly on the door to announce her presence. “Koriand’r? Are you alright?”
Koriand’r sighs. “Raven, why does Vic’s birthday make me think of Tamaran? It’s been almost seven years since I’ve been home. I ache to see my parents again. And I long to see my little brother, Ryand’r…”
Raven’s heart aches for her friend. She can relate to the feeling of longing for family that is most likely beyond reach forever. She doesn’t know if she’ll ever see her mother again.
“Oh Raven, you don’t know how it feels. I… I don’t even know if Tamaran still exists.”
She does know how it feels, though. She can sense the sadness in Koriand’r’s heart as easily as if it was her own. Even without her empathic powers, she feels her friend’s plight all too well. She, too, has been banished from her home, never to return.
But it is Koriand’r who is grieving, so she stays silent, not wanting to intrude on her sadness. She seems to be feeling a little better after confiding in her.
“I should head to bed… thanks for listening, Raven.” She gives her a quick hug. It feels strange, but not bad.
“It was no trouble.” Azarath is heavy on her mind now, but an empath’s job is to take pain, not share it. Surely, if she spoke up, Koriand’r would listen to her in turn, but her throat closes around the words. It is not in her nature to speak up about what troubles her.
After Koriand’r leaves, Raven goes back to looking out the window, staring up at the sky. The light polluted sky is nothing like the magnificent skies of Azarath. The few constellations she can make out are very different from the ones she’s used to. She wonders what they’re called.
“Hey, witch.”
Raven startles a little. Focused as she was on the sky, she’d hardly noticed anyone approaching. “Hello, Victor.”
“I heard you and Starry talking.” He frowns slightly. “Aren’t you stranded from home too?”
“Well… yes.” she finally admits. “I can never return to Azarath.”
“That must be hard.” He walks up to her, standing next to her as Koriand’r had a few minutes ago. “I know I wasn’t there for very long, but the little I saw of it was beautiful.”
“It is beautiful.” Raven looks back at the sky with its weakly twinkling stars. “If only you could have seen more… the grand temples, the gardens, the libraries… nothing on Earth is quite like it.”
“You can tell us about it, y’know. It might make you feel better.” He looks encouraging, but Raven’s stomach still seizes at the thought.
“I… I do not like to talk about myself. You would not know what it is like--”
“To not feel fully human?” He smiles bitterly.
Raven feels a little foolish. Even with all her empathic powers, she hadn’t fully considered that about Victor before. Perhaps he could understand part of her plight.
Even if he can, she still doesn’t like to talk about herself.
“Look, Rave…” He seems to consider his words for a moment. “I know it’s hard for you to open up about yourself. You don’t have to tell me your whole life story. But you might feel better if you told me a little about Azarath.”
Raven thinks about it for a moment. She is homesick… but… oh, emotions are too hard. She just wants to run away. It would be easy just to vanish, but then she’d have to answer questions about it at the next team meeting…
“What if I start?” Victor smiles at her. “I practically grew up in a lab, what with my parents being scientists and all. I didn’t like it much, but sometimes I get nostalgic for the smell of chemicals.”
Smells. That’s not a difficult thing to talk about. “Azarath smells of brimstone.”
Victor thinks for a moment. “What about holidays? My parents were never the religious type, but we used to celebrate Christmas. I used to like decorating the Christmas tree every year.”
“We had a new year's celebration every year.” Raven begrudges. “Azarath does not have the same calendar Earth has, nor does it have a sun and a moon to keep track of time. We used hourglasses.”
“Hourglasses?”
“Yes. I used to sit for hours and watch the sand trickle when I was a child. Azar thought it was strange, but did not mind it as long as I did my duties.” She remembers Azar’s indulgent smile with a pang in her chest, but strangely, she doesn’t regret talking about her.
“What about birthdays?”
“Birthday celebrations are not practiced on Azarath. People would wish you well, but not much more than that.” Mother tried to give her a present once when she was fifteen, but she’d felt awkward and declined it, even after she’d said that it was a common Earth tradition.
“Do you know when your birthday is?”
“Yes and no. I know the Azarathian date, but not what it would be here. I think it is soon, however. I will be nineteen years old.” There is nothing significant about this birthday, not like last year, when she became a woman. She wonders again how many birthdays she has left as herself.
“Hey, that’s the age to be.” Victor smiles. “We can choose a date around when you think your birthday is and have a party then.”
“Oh… no. I could not burden you like that.” She doesn’t want to have to drink sickly sweet punch and dance and pretend she’s normal. Her birth is nothing to celebrate. Why doesn’t Victor understand that?
“It’s no burden! Parties are fun. We’d all love to throw one for you.”
“I do not like them.”
“What about them don’t you like? There’s more than one kind of party, you know.”
She supposes that makes sense. “I… I do not care for loud music. Or cake that is covered in too much frosting.”
“We can have a party without those things, I promise.”
“I still do not want one.”
Victor frowns slightly. “Are you… afraid?”
Her first instinct is to deny it, but she realizes that there’s some truth to his words. The thought of the Titans throwing a party for her like the one they’d thrown for Victor makes something inside her ache with fear.
How unbecoming. After all the villains she’s fought, a simple party is threatening to send her to ruin. She should be stronger than this. Emotions are dangerous for her, even if fear isn’t as dangerous as something like joy or anger.
“I do not know.” she finally manages to say.
Victor thinks for a moment. “What if we just have a get-together? We could just have a picnic or something.”
“A picnic?” She’s aware of the concept, but she’s never really been to one. “We do not have those on Azarath.”
“It’ll be fun! You like nature, don’t you?” Raven nods reluctantly. “We don’t have to have it for your birthday. Just to celebrate our friendship.”
It does sound nice. “I… suppose that could be alright.”
“Great! I’ll tell the others about it tomorrow. ‘Night, Raven.”
“Good night, Victor.”
After he leaves, she goes back to looking at the sky. Perhaps she can ask her friends what the names of the constellations are. She manages a little smile to herself at the thought.
--
The day they’d chosen for their picnic is sunny and bright. Raven has nothing to bring, but the others are carrying baskets and blankets. She left her cloak at home in favor of typical Earth clothes. The cool breeze feels nice on her bare face.
Once they reach a nice hill that they decide to have the picnic on, Raven helps Koriand’r spread out the picnic blanket. Koriand’r is absolutely radiant in the warm sunlight. Her smile makes Raven feel a little warmer inside.
“Hey, Raven?” Koriand’r says as she smooths the edges of the blanket. “I’m really sorry I forgot about your situation when we were talking the other night.”
“It is alright, truly.” She senses her friend’s worry over having offended her fade into relief. Truthfully, Raven had hardly noticed Koriand’r forgot. She hadn’t wanted to talk about it either, not at first.
Koriand’r gives her a quick hug. “I’m so glad you agreed to this picnic. I haven’t gone to one since I was a little girl on Tamaran.”
“I have never gone to one.”
“I know.”
Donna and Victor begin pulling food out of their baskets. “I made a bunch of different kinds of sandwiches, so you can try them!” Donna smiles. Raven doesn’t quite smile back, but she is truly grateful.
Her friends end up crowding around her, eager to see which ones she likes. Raven decides that she doesn’t like peanut butter and jelly much, but she loves the crunch and coolness of cucumber sandwiches. The cheese sandwich is good, but Richard says they’re better grilled. She doesn’t like the egg salad sandwich, but Donna says that’s probably just because Wallace is a bad cook.
“I made something special for you.” Victor grins, reaching into his picnic basket. He pulls out an orange-brown cake with no frosting. It smells like warm spices. “I made a carrot cake for you. I think you’ll like it more than birthday cake.”
He cuts a slice for her. Raven tries a bite. Oh Azar, how is it possible to make something this delicious? It’s sweet, but not overpoweringly so, and it’s balanced nicely with the spices. It’s soft and moist and feels good in her mouth. “It is delicious. Thank you for making it for me.”
Victor’s joy at her approval is a wonderful thing to sense. “Anytime, witch.”
They sit together, enjoying the sunlight and food and each other’s company for a long time, until it begins to grow dark. Raven is sure that this is a memory she will treasure forever.