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Just like every evening, Angel had arranged a calm and soothing atmosphere in the Happy Hotel's room that was his for quite a while now. He always did this, it was his personal comfort, his way of relaxing after a hard day at work. To rest his senses overwhelmed by the spotlights and the deafening music on stage, by the blinding and sometimes stifling lights at the studio, by all the hurly-burly in the city. To rest his exhausted, soiled and often wounded body, marked by all the lewd things he had been required to do. To rest his mind still flooded by painful thoughts and memories.
It had become almost like some ritual. Which was a good thing, according to Charlie: customizing his bedroom and establishing small habits like this allowed to "reappropriate your private space", to "give yourself anchor points", to "reconnect to yourself" - to which the arachnid could not help but coming up with a salacious answer, immediately catching the occasion given the possible double meaning of the latter expression. But the worst was that she was right, it worked, for the moment at least. The only action of turning the little lights along the walls on, along with a few candles and an incense stick to perfume the room subtly, it was not much, but it was a personal touch, a way like another to enjoy this moment when he could chill out, alone with his pet piglet, in his cocoon, his own peaceful space.
Except that, for some time, he was occasionally not alone. More and more often, he was joined or even followed by the one who had been sharing his life – or rather his death, to be precise, so to speak – for some months already. And as trivial as it may seem, it was in the range of a privilege. Indeed, it took some time before the spider suggested, for the first time, that they'd spend the night together in his room. Because even though his job brought him into dozens of different beds - and other unlikely places – while exhibiting himself in front of average demons and making the first avid comer pay for his body, Angel was – one would say paradoxically - very bashful in private.
Bashful to the extent that several weeks had passed before that, one evening, he spontaneously took Husk to his bedroom, letting him discover his decoration with pink and white tones just like him, his large comfy bed with countless pillows of different sizes and shapes, the bedside lamp on a small ebene nightstand, string lights all along the walls, some candles and incense sticks for a cozy atmosphere, the bathroom with a mountain of cosmetics on the vanity, the shower stall, and even Fat Nuggets' basket.
Yes indeed, it was in the range of a privilege to see all this. Angel's bedroom, though it wasn't technically his as he was in a hotel, was his private space, his resting place, a sort of sanctuary where he could finally relax, have some quiet, be the slightest bit of himself, far from everyday life, and without anyone bothering him. Husk had understood that quickly, like any good old loner, so he had never insisted. Thus, the spider finally taking him to his room, spontaneously, because he chose to do it, because he wanted it... Beyond flattered, he was happy about this, on the one hand because he felt accepted in this aspect of his partner's private life, in this comfort sanctuary of his; on the other hand because Angel trusted him, he felt safe and comfortable enough with him for that.
And, that evening, like many others, they were both cozily tucked in his bed, locked in each other's arms, enjoying the embrace, immersed in the warmth of the room, the subdued lightning, the delicate floral and slightly wooded fragrances. Hearts beating at full speed, short-winded, eyes glowing with emotion, they could spend countless hours before falling asleep, running hands over every inch of skin and fur in almost worshiping gestures, exchanging gentle touches, kisses radiating affection and desire, sweet nothings whispered so low that only they could hear, expressing the passion consuming them. The peaceful atmosphere and pleasant scents, along with the other's presence, heat, voice, cosseting and hugs... all of this was overwhelming their senses, fulfilled their damned souls and was enough to make them feel truly, simply good.
Angel delighted in seeing his beloved enjoying every of his attentions. His many hands wandered on many spots in his fur, stroking and scratching the most sensitive areas, drawing lovely purrs he could never get enough of. Every now and then, his lips left Husk's to roam down his neck or at the base of his ears, then finally came back to where they belonged, hasty and eager. His smooth voice whispering sometimes affectionate, sometimes seducing words, increasing the want inside him the second he started to brush him with his fingers, staring at him with a lustful and impatient gaze. The way he enfolded him in his two or even three pairs of arms, as to trap him into his web, a web he certainly didn't want to escape from and the spider totally knew it. Husk relished this clasp, as if it was made for him, and only for him. Indeed, he showed himself to be a bit possessive, but the only fact that he knew his beautiful angel really, truly wanted to snuggle up to him, hold him so tight, spend the rest of his night with him, give himself to him without fear, all of this awakened emotions inside him that were a bit more... primal. And he could not help but go further, holding him tighter, draping him with his wings.
Angel loved when he did this. His huge wings, impressive when spread out, with silky feathers, he liked them so much. Every time they wrapped around him, bringing their bodies even closer, he felt warm, safe, as if nothing in the world could ever harm them. Above all, beside him, nestled against him, at last he had the feeling that he was loved, genuinely and entirely. He finally felt important to someone, accepted with his real personality – and not only for his body and his "expertise" coveted by every creature in Hell – respected and worthy of love. He finally had a real great time while giving himself to someone, freely, without ceremony, artifice or reticence, and without faking a second. He finally felt real pleasure when those paws explored him with the patience and kindness he had never been granted for decades, his partner always made his best to squeeze the strongest reactions out of him, the ones buried deep inside him because of his force of habit to either exaggerate, either contain, for the sake of the weirdest scenarios. During these moments, there was no scenario, no line to play with a grotesque unctuous and obscene tone, no calculated movement, no faking... Everything was real, obvious, sincere. And it was pure joy to him.
During these private moments, both felt more alive than ever. For Angel, even more than when he was on an inflamed stage. For Husk, even more than when he hit the jackpot. They just felt so good, in each other's arms, letting themselves be led by these strong overwhelming emotions, get lost in outpourings of tenderness, spoil each other with soft and sensual touches. Naturally, they sometimes – often – got carried away by raw urge and wild fantasies; neither of them was innocent, they knew it perfectly well and did not intend to pretend they were. Yet, no matter how, each of them took care of the other and cherished his body as well as his person, making sure he took pleasure and was comfortable, continuously showing affection one way or another, revealing with gestures what they could barely admit out loud.
Angel felt so right, here in his beloved feline's warm embrace. If he had been told a few months before that he would find happiness with someone who would love him for who he really was and not for the image all of his fans had of him, he would just have burst out laughing in disbelief and disillusion. It was quite simply impossible that anybody at all would want him and love someone like him. And it was perfect like that, he didn't need anyone, his reputation suited him and obviously he hadn't dropped in Hell for no reason. It didn't matter if he came back home with a few scratches, soiled and sometimes with a black eye; he had a job, a place to sleep, money, clients he could have fun time with and a pimp who protected him. That's how it had been for decades, changing it would be pointless.
However... Husk on his own had changed that vision Angel had of himself and his existence here below, turning it upside down. Thus, although he couldn't dare to believe it at first, although he had kept being suspicious for a while, although he was terrified to realize he had such value and was so important to another person, he gradually understood that all of this was wrong. No, it was not perfect like that, far from it. Like everyone else, he needed company, affection, genuine interactions, just like the cat who also concealed behind his usual old grumpy, indifferent, cold and bitter facade. The spider's reputation was a web of lies and illusions he maintained for his public but also for himself, as it was much easier than to face the emptiness in his wounded soul and try to withdraw from a lifestyle he had been following for decades. Yet, despite being in Hell, he certainly didn't deserve being physically and psychologically abused by some power-hungry and greedy bastard who used him excessively, or freaky clients who only thought of satisfying their most primitive drives and fantasies. No, this guy didn't protect him, or not without expecting something in return, it was all just blackmail. And all these people didn't give a single damn about him.
From then on, Angel finally knew again what it was to be genuinely loved, protected and respected. Step by step, he took confidence, let himself tamed and reconnected with his emotions, his real emotions, not the ones he usually showed to any random guy, in compliance with the image everyone had of him. In this room, in this bed, snuggled up with his lover, nothing was the same. He could show his true colors, let the feelings he couldn't and didn't want to hide anymore speak for him. As weeks passed by, only by his presence, his kindness, his affection, his trust, this man had patiently undone the walls the arachnid was constantly and instinctively shielding himself behind. And, even if he was often scared, he could no longer resist. Husk made him happy.
- Angie? You look concerned. You alright?
Suddenly pulled out of his thoughts, Angel got back to reality. Though a bit confused, he laid his eyes on Husk's for an anchor point.
- Mh? Sorry, kitty. I was just... Well, I...
He began to stutter, not knowing how to put the messy thoughts in his head into words. At this instant, he wanted to say so many things... Tell him how much he felt good when he was with him, how much he wished he could stay in his arms all day long, how much he sometimes felt like he didn't deserve someone as patient and attentive as him, how much he felt fulfilled by the least of his attentions, how much he was both terrified and happy to finally share his existence with someone, how much his gazes made him feel more precious, cherished and desirable than ever, how much he loved him.
He breathed a long sigh, disconcerted, and hid his face in the feline's fur, holding him even tighter.
- I'm so lucky to be with you...
After a few seconds of silence that seemed interminable to him, he could not help but laughing, but contrary to what he expected, this didn't distract from his embarrassment, as his voice betrayed the tears welling up in his eyes, the lump in his throat and the knot in his stomach. Moved by this confession and saddened to see him so shaken, Husk slid the back of a claw along one of his cheeks, cautiously as always so as to not risk hurting him, and nuzzled his other cheek.
- Oh, sweetheart...
He placed a tender kiss on his temple, then each of his cheeks, then peppered his face with little pecks. He held him tight, fondling his back to soothe him as he felt a few tears fall on his shoulder. These were not tears of sadness, on the contrary, and it barely lasted a minute, but even for a brief moment, he needed to let out that emotional surplus he couldn't – and deep down didn't want to – contain.
- Ti amo, bellissima.
Touched by these words, Angel gave a broad smile, he went back at eye level with his partner and pressed their foreheads together.
- And I even more, gattino mio.
He kissed him softly and cuddled up to him again, savoring the warmth of his embrace, his calm breathing, his little attentions. He felt really loved. Comfortable in these arms that gladly welcomed him. Protected by these powerful yet so soft wings. Appeased by this deep and gravelly voice, which had become the most beautiful melody to his ears. Gazed upon by these eyes filled with esteem and affection, as if he was the most precious being in the world.
Actually, he was. Husk really meant it, to him Angel was the most beautiful person, and not only in relation to his physique, far from it. He was so much more. Infinitely more. A wonderful creature he could have believed fallen from Heaven just for him. A gift he probably didn't deserve, but he cherished every day. A real angel. His angel.
~