Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The pavement beneath him was sun-warmed, and unlike in the movies, it wasn’t raining either, so it wasn’t even picturesque to make it even worth it. The dead end he had run to was out of the way enough that it’d be hard for one of the many passerbys to see him. The worst part, however, was that nothing even sparked this situation, simply put, he got mugged and wound up being punished for his resistance to it.

He vaguely remembered pulling his phone out, but doesn’t really remember dialing anyone until the ringing stopped. “Dice? Are you there?” He faintly heard Gentaro say, his phone now collapsed on the ground beside him on speaker. He grunted, not having much energy to speak. “Did you butt dial me or something? Dice? I have things to-“

“Help…” He managed to get out after the internal struggle to reserve his energy to hopefully regain enough to help himself vs use the energy to get help. “By the…usual cafe…in a back alley…” His voice was strained, breathy as he felt the air in his lungs slowly escaping. He wasn't sure whether it was the knife, punch, or the several kicks that got his lungs burning, but one of those options definitely did significant damage to them.

“Huh? Are you okay?” The annoyed tone the writer originally had dropped instantly.  “Why do you sound like that? What happened?” Dice couldn’t put a name to how Gentaro sounded in that moment, but he grimaced thinking that he was the one who got him to sound like that. He thought about what he might even look like in this moment and it hurt to picture, a groan leaving him before he could really stop it. “Dice? Say something?”

“Got in a fight.” He couldn’t speak much more, so he didn’t, those four words were enough to get the idea through, he hoped. Part of him believed that it was one of the new regulars at one of the casinos, so perhaps this was revenge of some sort. Though, he can’t say any gambling loss is quite deserving of being stabbed and beaten over days after the event. Staring at the sunsetting sky, the wounds he’d received began to take the best of him as his vision began to die. He thought it made sense with how bad the attack was, but he tried to resist for as long as possible, waiting for the sound of rushed footsteps that never came. His consciousness faded along with the anxiety in Gentaro’s pleas for a response.

It was all quiet for a moment, he expected it to be this quiet, just didn’t expect to be this aware of it. Suddenly, as clear as day, the voice he had just been listening to spoke again above him. “Daisu-han~ Wake up~” His eyes shot open, greeted by Gentaro’s face above him as his head lied on the writer’s lap, one of Gentaro’s hands running through Dice’s hair. Perhaps it was a delayed sense of adrenaline that sent Dice shooting to sit up, or he had recovered from his wounds way quicker than he had expected, but he moved much quicker than someone who was just dying should’ve been. He took in his surroundings, a room that was familiar, but not quite at the same time, almost as if it was shifting between scenarios every time he blinked. Gentaro giggled, hand to his mouth with his yukata sleeve to help cover it, when Dice looked back to him. “I sounded like him, didn’t I?”

Dice squinted. A strange sentence, a concept that Gentaro never tried to pull before. Though, upon closer inspection, he’s not sure that this is Gentaro? He looks like him, he sounds like him, he even idly behaves like him, but something seemed off . His tone of voice was strange and his mannerisms implied unfamiliarity. “Gentaro…?”

He smiled sadly, dropping his hand to his lap to lace his fingers together. “I am, but not the one you know, I fear.” Dice tilted his head, giving the most incredulous look he could muster. “I’m afraid that if he hasn’t told you, I won’t either. That’s up to him and his trust in you, not me.” The statement simply gave Dice more questions than answers, truthfully, and it seemed that “Gentaro” could sense that. “I’ve heard about you and Ramuda, he tells me about you.” He cast his gaze down to his lap. “When I saw you lying there, matching the description he’s given me about you, I just couldn’t help myself.”

“...You’re…?” Dice still couldn’t quite place it. This was Gentaro, but not the one he knew? Twins, most likely?

“He’ll tell you, in time. Your ‘Gentaro,’ that is.” He still offered a smile towards Dice. Dice relaxed some, still a bit off guard from this strange situation he’s found himself in. He looked around once more as the room shifted from the writing room that Gentaro had taken them to hide, to a hospital room, to Gentaro’s home, to Dice’s casinos, to Dice’s childhood room, then both merged altogether and back and forth between all of them in no specific order. “I believe we’re in some sort of limbo, completely unconscious but not dead.” “Gentaro” spoke again, drawing Dice’s attention back to him.

“It’s not the afterlife?”

He shook his head. “That’s what I thought as well, when I first came here, but I can hear him, the doctors, and the nurses every now and then. At first, I thought… Gentaro was just speaking to me after my death, but the doctors, nurses, and even some of what he said clued me in to the idea that I’m not dead, just...in a coma.”

Dice blinked, adjusting how he sat to face him easier. “So you’re sayin’ I’m in a coma too?” He nodded. Dice looked down, still processing. “Okay, not dead then, cool.” He looked back up, returning a smile to “Gentaro,” which the other immediately matched.

“My, he was right, your smile is quite charming~”

“Huh? Gen talks about me like that?”

He lifted his hands to his mouth, eyes wide, but playful. “Whoopsies~ I may have said something out of line then, it was a lie~”

Dice squinted again, he genuinely can’t tell with him either what the truth is. “You sure ya ain’t the one I know?”

“I’m sure!” He chuckled, hands placed back on his lap.

Faintly, in the distance, Dice swore he could hear Ramuda say something, only followed by Gentaro hushing him. He couldn’t place where in the distance it was, as if it was all around, but not nearby at all. “Gentaro” hummed with a more happy smile. Dice tilted his head again. “Huh? Did ya hear that too?”

“Mm, very very faintly, if I wasn’t paying attention, I probably would’ve missed it. I think…from my experience, that means I’m hearing one of your visitors.”

“Visitors? Like what do you mean?”

“Well, you don’t think that my- your Gentaro would just place you in a hospital bed and leave you until you recovered?”

“Wh- Wait, so I'm in a hospital right now?” Now he’s panicking, he doesn’t have the money to pay for a hospital bill! Especially not one for being in a coma!

“Most likely, yes,” he nodded, “while you could be in a coma elsewhere, I’m assuming that what lead you to be here was something quite dire.”

Dice blinked again, then looked around, trying to focus on hearing any voices again. Somewhat louder this time, as if on command, he could hear Gentaro once more attempting hush Ramuda.

“Ehhh? But the doctor’s said he’s recovering fast!”

“Yes, Ramuda, that doesn’t mean you get to be loud, he’s still asleep regardless. Don’t make me tell you again or I will kick you out.”

“Huh!? No fair! You’ve only told me twice!”

“Yes, yesterday, and now a third time today.”

They seemed to be getting louder, more clear, less distant, but still not quite in one direction or visible. “Gentaro” looked around, a small o-shape to his mouth as he lifted a hand to cover it as if he had his kimono sleeves to aid him. “They’re getting much louder…Is my time with you going to be this short, I wonder…” He thought for a moment, eyes cast down, then hummed. “I suppose it has been a few days…”

“Huh? A few days? But we’ve only been talking for like, 10 minutes tops.”

“Time passes much quicker here, I’ve noticed. I feel as if I’ve only been here for a few weeks, though I think it’s been much longer than that.” He sounded sad, or at least sadder than he has been throughout the conversation. 

Dice settled down again, accepting the explanation. He’s still not quite understanding this “Gentaro’s” situation, all he can really gather is that they’re possibly twins. How he got to be in a coma, why Gentaro hasn’t said anything, and why he won’t even explain for Gentaro is all evading Dice. Patience was never his strong point, and now that he’s even aware of this side of Gentaro, it makes him all the more curious.

So very quietly, a blink and you’ll miss it kind of sound, Dice could hear two different voices speaking, but for the life of him, he couldn’t place what they’re saying. “Gentaro” closed his eyes for few moments, completely quiet as he focused on the sound as well, then opened his eyes again, once more downcast to his hands on his lap. “I’m unsure how much time has passed between your friends visiting you and now, but,” he opened his mouth, attempting to say something before cutting himself off, “ Gentaro is visiting me now, informing me about your coma.” Dice frowned, so he was in the hospital at Gentaro’s behest. Is Gentaro taking care of the charges? Is he taking care of both of their charges? “Gentaro” looked back over to Dice. “Don’t look that way, it’s not like you could’ve helped this situation.” He tried to offer him a smile, another sad, sad smile. Dice opened his mouth to respond, but shook his head, finding it not worth arguing.

Cutting through the silence “Gentaro” and Dice shared after that was a much clearer hiccup from neither of them, and Dice could feel someone holding his hand, but when he looked there was clearly no one doing so, “Gentaro” wasn’t even on that side of him. Dice looked around as another hiccup sounded in the area and his heart strings tugged when he pinpointed who was doing it.

“I can’t-” Gentaro, his Gentaro choked out as he clearly cried beside Dice. “I can’t have you like this, too.” Dice felt the grip on his hand tighten and he flinched from the sensation. He glanced over to “Gentaro,” taking note of his worried expression as he caught the gambler’s gaze. Dice figured that this was in reference to the one he was looking at right now, it had to have been. How often has Gentaro gone through this? How long has he been dealing with his twin’s comatose state? “One in a dubiously conscious state, one in a semi-conscious state, both unknown as to when they’ll wake…” He chuckled through a sob, trying to catch his breath. “ I just can’t catch a break, I don’t- I don’t know what I’d do if Ramuda…”

“Ah…semi-conscious…Maybe that’s why he’s so clear…” “Gentaro” mumbled to himself. “I can’t say I understand how comas work, but that sounds somewhat positive, right?” He also chuckled softly, though his was somewhat more pained than Gentaro’s was.

“Dubiously conscious? What happened to you?” Dice looked between his hand, the sensation of Gentaro holding his hand fading, and “Gentaro” as he spoke.

“Ah-ah, my dear Dice,” he shook his head, sounding so much like Gentaro in this moment, “That’s a secret that I’m afraid I can’t tell you right now~”

“Well why not? It’s what happened to you , not Gentaro.”

“So you think, but again, his trust in you is much more important right now, isn’t it? What if you were to wake and remember this conversation and he learned that you somehow found out about my condition? That would make him upset, would it not?” He stood, brushing his yukata down. Dice bit his cheek, he supposed that he was right. “And I’d prefer to not ruin his trust in me, what if he were to believe you and now he was upset that I willingly told you stuff he didn’t want you to know yet? Am I not allowed to be a bit selfish here, as well?”

Dice shook his head, frowning as he looked down. “No, yer right, I think. Sor-” He cut himself off as an intense dizzy spell hit him.

“Dice?” “Oh xx xod, ix hx wxxxng ux?” “Xxxck, Doxxxx!”

He blinked in shock, that wasn’t “Gentaro” just then, but he swears he saw him move his mouth, it was his voice after all, accompanied by another, Ramuda’s he thinks. His head suddenly began to hurt dully, like it was full of cotton. “Genta…ro…?” He spoke, but it felt out of body, as if he wasn’t actually speaking. Lightly, he felt his hands be held by the person in front of him, was this Gentaro?

“You’re waking up now, I think. Please, cheer my brother up for me? I won’t forgive you for making him worry like this.”

Dice couldn’t place his face, he could barely understand what he was saying in that light tone, the room becoming much more the hospital room and less anything else. The feeling he was having was indescribable, dizzying and empty but not like being drunk, hazy and in and out but not like having a high fever and hallucinating. If he really were to say anything about it, it’d  be that this was one of the worst experiences he’s ever had. People spoke to him almost every second and he thinks that he spoke back, but the memory of that just didn’t stick along with the people who even spoke to him. Flashes of Gentaro and Ramuda speaking to him, but nothing would stick.

Chapter Text

The sound of a door opening brought him from the haze he was in, just enough. “Sorry I’m a bit late, Dice. My editor just wouldn’t stop talking even after I told him I had other plans today.” He watched Gentaro sit down in the chair by the hospital bed, a lunch box he was holding being placed on his lap. He looked up to Dice after settling, giving him a smile as he unwrapped the lunchbox. “Ramuda’s busy with some business stuff, so he told me to come alone.”

Dice didn’t speak, unsure of what to say, his mind still so fuzzy, but he felt like he was getting past the cotton, somewhat.

“How’s your memory today?” Gentaro opened the lunchbox, presenting some small tempura slices and some rice. “I asked the doctors if I could bring you some food today and confirmed with them the food, so if you’d like, I brought you some fish and pork~” He broke apart some chopsticks.

Dice couldn’t remember Gentaro ever sounding so caring like this, his heart felt like it was being apart at the thought of Gentaro being so worried about him, a feeling sort of familiar, but he can’t remember when he would’ve ever felt that way before. “Um…Well…” He found speaking to be easier than he thought it’d be, speaking much louder than he initially intended. “I…I’m actually…” He lowered his voice and struggled, trying to remember anything other than right now and right before the coma. “I’m rememberin’ right now…?”

“Is that so?” He hummed, scooting the chair closer to Dice’s face. “Are you hungry?” He tapped the chopsticks together, that smile still plastered on his face. Dice can’t quite place the emotion behind it, but he felt it was a genuine smile. He nodded. “Great~ I made this myself, so you better like it~” He picked up one piece of tempura, then brought it to Dice’s mouth. “Open up, unless you feel your strength has returned today?”

Dice didn’t even bother trying, faintly remembering that he couldn’t reach his hand to his mouth yesterday, and opened his mouth to let Gentaro feed him. Yesterday? He chewed slowly, swallowing before he spoke. “How long have I been…?”

“Awake?” Dice nodded. “About a week, I’d say. The doctors say it’s normal for you to have some time loss between waking up and recovering enough to go home. Which, by the way, when you do, it will be to my house. There will be no gambling until you’re fully recovered, alright?” He kept the half eaten bass tempura near Dice’s face. “And you won’t recover if you don’t eat, hm? Eat up.”

As the next few days passed, his memory remained much more stable and his physical therapy led him to be healthy enough to be discharged. Ramuda and Gentaro brought him to Gentaro’s home about two weeks after he woke up, the couch had been set up as a makeshift bed for him to rest on.

“Dice is home~!” Ramuda leaped across the foyer after taking his shoes off and slid into the living room on his socks. Dice followed behind, much more casually, with Gentaro right at his side “just in case,” as he put it. “Doctor said to take it easy so that’s what we’re gonna do, right Gentaro~♪?” He jumped onto the end of the couch, quickly pulling his legs up to sit cross-legged.

“Yes, and again, how many times must I tell you to keep it down?” Gentaro sighed, finally leaving Dice’s side to enter the kitchen, quickly setting to preparing the kettle.

“But he’s awake now!” Ramuda pouted, but then changed it back to a grin as Dice came up to sit beside him, quickly moving to wrap his arms around him. “Right, Dice?”

Dice smiled, lightly patting Ramuda on the head. “I am. But I’ll be honest, I’m already a little winded from how much moving I’ve done today.” Ramuda’s pout returned. “You can be as loud as you want Ramuda, I don’ mind.” And the pout once more disappeared.

“Hear that Gen~!? He says I can yell as much as I want!”

Gentaro walked to the entryway to the kitchen, eyeing Ramuda with arms crossed. “He did not say yell, he said you can be as loud as you want. Which I still don’t agree with, maybe he’s still not quite there.” He glanced towards Dice this time, expression softening. “Are you alright then? Do you want to take a nap? We can have our little homecoming party once you wake up.” He smiled a bit.

Dice hummed, then maneuvered out of Ramuda’s grasp to lie down on the couch against the set up pillow. “Maybe…you can skip me on the tea, Gen.”

“Alright, I’ll be back out in a few minutes.” He hesitated while he watched Dice move, then headed back into the kitchen.

Ramuda climbed on top of Dice from where he was sitting, gently plopping himself down against his chest so not to cause any damage to his still recovering lungs. “Can I lay on you?” He rested his chin at Dice’s collarbone, looking up at him.

“Of course, I think I’d prefer that to you blockin’ my legs from being straight on the couch.” Ramuda stuck out his tongue. “And also because it feels nice.”

Ramuda talked for a while, even after Gentaro had brought their tea in and sat down at the edge of the couch where he could fit, trying to catch Dice up on the events he missed when he was out while also every new story checking that Dice’s memory was “acting right” so he didn’t have to repeat anything.

“He tried to tell you about some of this after you had just woken up, then he got really frustrated when he learned you weren’t actually remembering any of it.” Gentaro sipped his tea, cutting in to speak while Ramuda pondered the next discussion topic. “The doctor and I told him that it would likely take you some time to actually remember things again, but Ramuda insisted on telling you about these big orders right away.”

Dice chuckled lightly. “Yeah, sorry, I don’ think I recall anything from that time. It was like, I was there but I wasn’? I can even barely remember the dream I had while I was out.”

“Ohhh?? You had a dream??? Well what do you remember about it???” Ramuda laid across his chest still while on his stomach, legs in the air idly swaying back and forth.

“I dunno…I think Gentaro was there?”

“Was I there?” Ramuda fluttered his eyes, clearly already expecting one specific answer.

“...No- yes? Maybe…I remember hearing y’all talking to me in the hospital but like, only Gentaro was physically there?” Dice squinted, lip upturning as he forced himself to remember any details. “Like, he was sittin’ with me and I could also hear Ramuda somewhere but I couldn’ see him?”

“How strange…” Gentaro hummed, setting his now empty cup upon the table. “I have heard that coma dreams can be quite out there, though what you’re describing sounds like any other dream one could have.”

“Yeah I dunno, I remember you were weirdly not you though, like you were very insistent that it wasn’t you? But you looked like you and whatnot. Talked about you in the third person or something.”

Gentaro raised a brow. “Huh? Third person?” He hummed, considering it. “I suppose that wouldn’t be too strange for me to do, I’ve done so a number of times, though insisting that I am not me is definitely weird. I at least try to make up an idea of who I am.” He thought for a second. “Maybe you dreamt about me because you called me for help? I was the last person you heard before you blacked out.”

“Oh! That could be it, I mean it happens when ya sleep normally so it could’ve just happened this way! Wish I could remember more of the dream though, just remember that it was weird.”

Ramuda had grabbed his cup, downed it a little too fast, much to Gentaro’s chagrin, set the cup on the table, and set back to lying on Dice. “Why didn’t you call me huh?”

“Because you never answer the phone on time.” Gentaro chimed in, then climbed over Ramuda to lie next to him and between Dice and the back of the couch.

“Not true!”

“Yes true.” “No it’s true.”

He turned to Gentaro, blowing a raspberry at him, then grinned when Gentaro grimaced. “When has that ever happened?”

“Last month when Dice was locked out of your place for an hour in the rain because you refused to answer his call.”

“Hey! You do that too when you’re working!” Ramuda pouted, turning his head away from Gentaro so he didn’t have to look at him. “I can’t believe I’m being attacked like this.”

“You asked.” Dice shrugged. “Oi, you have a bed, why am I not in that?” He glanced to Gentaro, who has distracted himself with Dice’s beads.

“Because this way you have a way to be out of bed and socialize with us rather than sleep the whole time you’re recovering.” He looked up. “And it’s not quite dinner time, so that means it’s not bedtime, so you’re staying right here.” He moved the beads out of the way, placing his own head in their place. “I think it’s a great time for a nap, though.”

“I agree!” Ramuda let his legs fall back against the other arm of the couch, resting his head next to Gentaro’s.

“Hey! I’m not against a nap but the couch is all cramped now because of you two!” He watched as Gentaro grinned and wrapped the arm not trapped by the couch around Ramuda. “Don’t get comfy, I’m the one who’s supposed to be relaxing!”