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The rain is faint, making only soft little simmers as they hit the top of the umbrella. More than anything though, Taehyun is trying to calm the palpating drum beat of his heart that echoes in his ear. The two men reach the crosswalk, halting to a stop as the light shines bright red in the dark night. They’ve got one more right, then a left and a last right before they reach the street that guides them to their home. It will probably take less than ten minutes. Unless Taehyun offers to turn left to buy another couple of minutes or so. Though they would be going in a circle, going to another block is unnecessary. However, he can’t hide the desperateness to stretch out the time he has left with him.
The smaller of the two peeks between his umbrella just a slight. He checks the expression of the other, taking him in like he has only seen him for the first time, Blond, stocky, tall and always wears a smile like he never once has any thoughts that are evil. Blond, stocky, tall and beautiful. Beautiful. It is the perfect word to describe him - to describe Kai.
When the light turns green to signal them to openly cross, Kai glances down at him.
Let’s go?
Sure.
Taehyun’s steps are a beat behind. If only he could just be with him for the rest of the night, spend the last dark hours with him walking the same pace, bumping umbrellas as they are, till the sun rises, he would. Though he shakes the thoughts as they come, deeming them childish. And a little selfish if he is being honest. But when they reach the fork on the road, Kai who is in front by a hair, hesitates.
There’s a slow turn on his heel before the blond faces him. The latter waits for him to speak.
“Do you want to see what is on the left?”
Taehyun is more than educated to know what is on the left. He has accidentally taken wrong turns a handful of times during his first few days after his move to the area. It is just a row of flats and units and some unused buildings before the road hits a cul de sac. Though there is a gap between some apartments that would take them back to the main road to circle towards the right direction again. And Taehyun is more than aware that Kai definitely knows as well.
Kai was born in the area.
< March 09 >
“I know this place like the back of my hand,” Kai told Taehyun while he tried to get comfortable on the seat that he was guided to earlier. He also wasn’t so shy when he mentioned he recognised the locals and more, and that he had spotted Taehyun every now and then in the streets. “A new face always intrigues me.” He told him as Taehyun threw the black loud cape over him.
Taehyun wasn’t totally new when he first met Kai. It had been around four months in. Four months since he had packed up and left his hometown to work on the east side under one of his most respected stylists. It didn’t take a lot of thinking to do so, besides, a new environment was good for Taehyun. Still, he didn’t correct the customer and just smiled as they looked at each other through the reflection.
“Your hairdresser will come by in a second,” Taehyun had told him briefly, remembering the colleague that was booked for him. ‘Outgrown and in need of a trim’, was what Kai had vaguely stated he was after. And when Taehyun took the blond locks in between his slender fingers, he secretly wished that Kai wouldn’t get a trim. He thought he would have looked quite good with long hair.
“Kai.” Said the man suddenly, which disrupted Taehyun’s thoughts. There was a moment of pause until Taehyun realised he was introducing himself. He manneredly nodded, “Taehyun,” he softly responded back,
“I’ll see you more often.” Kai stated, noticing that Taehyun had finished preparing him for his actual dresser, thus getting ready to leave his side.
His words came out casually like he didn’t mean much to it back then. Though there was a weird tug in Taehyun’s stomach that made it feel like a promise. He couldn’t reply and didn’t let himself look forward to it.
< >
Taehyun decides to play along with the ignorance. “We can see,” he says shortly.
He waits till Kai moves first and they both walk the opposite direction pretending they don’t know. It makes Taehyun smile a little. At least it isn’t just him who wants the time to stand still.
After a little while, the taller of the two slows down his pace realising they aren’t side by side. It isn’t just because Taehyun was oh so purposely slowing down, but Kai is perhaps too hyper at a time of ten forty-five at night. Their feet aren’t in sync and Taehyun watches as Kai gazes down, hesitating a little until they are. A little skip and both of their left hits the pavement at the exact same time. There’s a soft giggle that comes out of Taehyun’s lips when he can't help it. The other smiles down at him too under his umbrella.
Perhaps walking next to him, with feet that go forward at the same pace is good too. Even if the tip of Kai’s shoe struts out a little more forward by a centimetre, the warmth of his body is still right next to Taehyun. At least with the little time they have left, Taehyun could match him and be right next to him.
He never really realises how often he’d face Kai’s back during their past interactions. He recalls always being the one who sees him leave.
< June 15 >
As if keeping his promise, Taehyun spots the familiar face of Kai walk inside the salon with a friend in tow - an equally tall, though lankier guy who could easily match the grin Kai seemed to have concreted on his face. It was the friend that booked for Taehyun. It was an easy job, just to even out the undercut of his hair that had grown out. They’re seated by the end of the back row. A corner seat that was good for Kai who sat on the waiting bench right next to them.
“Are you liking it here?”
It took a moment for Taehyun to realise he was the one being questioned. For a while the small corner was just filled with the buzzing of the razor or small polite talk between the two when the friend would question Kai for advice on whether or not to cut the front part of his hair too since ‘he was already there anyway.’
When Taehyun stole a glance to the left where Kai was, the latter was looking up at him waiting. The hairdresser tilted his head a little, trying to find an answer. “It’s… quiet.” Taehyun managed to answer. “Not silent, just… quieter than the main parts of the city. I guess I grew a little too accustomed to the traffic sounds and too-long of a night life in my hometown.”
The blond hummed like he was thinking as he leant back on his seat. “That must mean you haven’t really stepped out to see the best part of this area.” He concluded all by himself. It wasn’t like he was wrong anyway, so Taehyun didn’t correct him. He had just been walking the same road with the same duration every single day - home, work, work home. Sometimes when he needed to, he would go down to the convenience store or markets which was still on the way to his workplace, so he’d take the same road. Once or twice he would visit the nearest mall. Though usually he’d take the bullet train back to his hometown, spend the weekend and then come back before his Monday afternoon shift. So Kai was telling the truth more or less.
“You’re missing out,” Kai playfully shook his head like he’s in disbelief. “I’d be more than willing to show you around to the good bits. Your own tour guide if you will, right Soobin?”
Soobin. The friend that was under Taehyun’s care just lifted his eyes to meet his in the reflection. He sent the dresser a knowing expression stating just ignore him, like Kai was spouting nonsense. Though nonsense that sounded too good to reject, nevertheless, Taehyun didn’t take it.
“Wait, hang on. There’s this nice place. Hip and modern, plus they have good food.” He fished out his phone from his pockets, scooting further off the chair to show off the eatery he had punched into the search engine. Taehyun tried not to make it obvious his desperate attempt to memorise the name. “Or you could give me your number, text me and I'll take you there myself.”
“Kai.”
Soobin’s voice was stern. Stern and hard though he couldn’t mask what sounded like second-hand embarrassment from his friend.
Kai chuckled low, stuffing his phone back where it was. “Too soon?”
“Too forward.”
Taehyun just laughed small. Then he busied himself by rolling his trolley closer to his feet. He’s rummaging through his things, pretending as if he was looking for something when actually he was hiding his reddening face at Kai’s suddenness. And when he hesitantly lifted his eyes to check his own reflection, he spotted the faint pink of his cheeks.
That day, Kai waved at him after he held the door for Soobin who walked on ahead. Taehyun just nodded and watched as the door behind them closed and Kai’s retrieving back was out of eyeshot.
< June 18 >
The floorboards of the outside tables creaked under Taehyun’s feet that went back and forth, fighting himself on whether he should really commit to go inside the restaurant. He found himself too intrigued to visit, thinking about the recommendation for a couple of days ever since Kai had told him. Intrigued about whether or not the food was really good or not (Taehyun’s sick of his mediocre cooking skills or delivery for dinner every night) and perhaps, trying out his luck if maybe, just maybe, he’d bump into Kai for reasons he couldn’t pinpoint why the thought even processed in his mind.
Judging by the people, the noise of chatter and the liveliness of the place, it was a popular eatery. Hip was the perfect word for it. But for Taehyun, it may not be the perfect place. He had been lingering around the main entrance, knowing that people who sat outside were looking at him for a while. Just as he was about to fully turn around and leave, the door swung open, almost hitting Taehyun who was just an inch away from being smacked.
“Holy sh- I apologise! I’m terribly sorry, are you—”
Taehyun who was letting out strings of awkward ‘it’s fine’s’ was starstrucked to see Kai in all his glory. Blond hair tucked under a cap and wearing top to bottom black outfit with a loose apron tied around the small of his waist. The restaurant name was engraved on the left chest of his short sleeve.
“You work here—”
“— You actually came.”
They both blurted the words simultaneously. Somehow it made Kai’s permanent grin stretch even longer. He walked ahead, pulling a chair out of the nearest two-seater table and glanced at Taehyun’s way. Understanding his intention, Taehyun rolled his hunched shoulders back and headed to take the seat.
“What a service.” Taehyun sneered at Kai who did a short curt bow, “all for you,” He easily replied. Then Kai remembered the two drinks that he was balancing on the tray and spun around till he found the table. Holding up a finger, Kai left him to serve the customers he was supposed to. “Let me just serve a few more, I’ll get back to you.”
Much like the first time they met, his words sounded like a promise. And promises he kept because after a few minutes of waiting and seeing Kai zip in and out of the place, he found the time to settle and take the seat in front of Taehyun. He had some seconds to spare, were his words when Taehyun told him he’d be fine being served by someone else if Kai was busy.
“I didn’t think I'd see you working here.” Taehyun commented after accepting that Kai wasn’t going to budge out of his position any time soon. The blond scrunched his nose, elbows crossed and on the table. He leant forward, eyes always on Taehyun who cowered and acted like he was taking in the other’s workplace’s fancy lighting.
“Yeah,” Kai inhaled deeply before letting out an airy chuckle, “I may have missed out mentioning that part.” Kai looked up too, looking at the things that Taehyun was trying so hard to study. “Though, I didn't think you’d actually come and check it out.”
“I… just, felt like it.”
“Hm, well if you feel like visiting other areas too, you let me know. I meant it when I said I can show you around. There’s this really nice library further south by the beach. I think you’d like it.”
“Yeah?” Taehyun tilted his head to the side. He finally looked at the boy in front of him, “do you happen to part time there during summer or something too?”
Kai let out a hearty laugh from his joke. Taehyun couldn’t help but to smile like his energy was contagious. Then Kai handed him the menu across the table that Taehyun didn’t even bother going through it. Instead he shoved it back at Kai who looked at him all confused. He managed to step out of his comfort zone for the night and steered away from his usual routine, usual direction and actually conversed with Kai with ease like he’s someone close. If he was to check the menu he knew he’d just be more drawn to picking something safe. He wanted to be a little different for the night at least.
“Surprise me.” He told the waiter instead who arched a brow. The latter nodded and stood up to continue his job. He scribbled something quickly in his pad, looking at Taehyun through thick lashes. “I’ll have you my favourite menu as soon as possible. I’m sure you’d like it - no, I promise you will.”
Taehyun simply nodded once, watching as Kai disappeared back inside. He had a feeling he would like whatever it was before he even got a taste of it. Because the tug on his stomach grew into a stronger pull at Kai’s words. It definitely did grow strong enough to even make his heart skip a beat when the blond would always find his eyes throughout his shift as if to check on him. When it would, Kai would send him a small smile and Taehyun gave his offers a few second thoughts.
< >
“It’s much darker here.” Kai comments. They’re deeper inside, going righ towards the cul de sac. WIth the buildings mainly all left deserted, the town committee doesn’t pay too much attention with the maintenance of the area. That leaves the place lit up with little street lights. Taehyun can only count two working steet lights that they passed, and one that was flickering it’s last life at the first corner.
Taehyun looks up, moving his umbrella to tilt just a slight. “It is.” He agrees. Luckily that night the moon is bright regardless of the rain that is heavy above them. It shines through the rain clouds. Taehyun thinks it’s a weird phenomenon, but it is almost like the world is providing them a spotlight. His eyes dance to the left, at where Kai is. The latter is too, looking up at the sky. It makes the smaller wonder if he’s thinking the same thing he was too.
Their steps are much less grazing the ground, dragging along loose gravel and making noises. It fits the atmosphere they have. The silence between them is comforting, but it also feels like they’re both awkwardly waiting for something to happen. Sometimes their umbrellas would collide, leaving them to more awkwardly chuckle and moving to the side when it does.
At first Taehyun had cursed both of them for being prepared for the weather. The umbrellas give them space between them. The width of it blocks the possible interactions they could possibly have. Then Taehyun pinked when he realised what he was thinking about, acting like a teen in love. He brushes the thought aside and decides that it is much better than walking back home with clothes sticking to his skin and with his hair dripping with rain water down his face.
“So much darker than your house.” Kai keeps the conversation going. Taehyun agrees silently this time.
< July 22 >
The day they found out they lived right near each other was all based on timing. Taehyun was beginning to run out of bread and the bakery down the road is closed during weekends and also closed after half day on a Friday. Making sure that he had enough time to shop for what he needed before heading to his shift, he decided to leave his apartment almost half an hour earlier than usual.
A figure emerged from downhill that felt too recogniseable to ignore. It left Taehyun to stay grounded, in front of his complex, just watching as the figure came closer like he was entranced. As if he desperately needed to know who he was before he could move himself. And the breath that escaped his lips was far too loud when he realised who it was.
They make eye contact and the smile plastered on the other’s face doesn’t surprise Taehyun anymore who allowed him to come to him. Kai stuffed his hands inside the front pocket of his olive hoodie when he stopped directly in front of him. “You live here?” Kai asked, already looking past him at the building complex behind.
Taehyun looked back as well like he wanted to double check. In honesty he was just trying to not stare at the boy in front of him. In exception to their small little collision at Kai’s work, this was the only time when they were standing right in front of each other. There was no space in between, no tables, no one was sitting down while the other was standing – they were facing each other, with a reasonable gap in between and it made Taehyun feel nervous.
A weak 'yes'’ is all he could answer with. It shook more when he turned back and found that Kai was already looking down at him. Taehyun knew he was tall, but maybe it didn’t occur to him that he was much taller than expected. Taller and wider. The hoodie he wore that seemed to be of a size larger than his usual didn’t help with hiding his bigger width. Kai is much taller, wider up close. And far more attractive than Taehyun had realised. Though he ignored the last inspection like it was a slip of a tongue; mentally if it was possible.
Kai thumbed to the left, “I’m that way.” He explained, “well my cousins are. I live with them.”
Taehyun turned his head to the direction he motioned to. It was the upper area he never inspected. He had guessed it was just additional living areas. There was probably a park or a play area that way too. Taehyun had seen various times of young kids going with groups of friends heading upwards with a ball in hand or in their little scooter when he’d be outside in his balcony hanging up wet laundry.
“Cool. I live alone.” Taehyun retorted.
Kai pulled a face. More quizzical than anything. “No housemates?”
“Just me, myself and I.” Taehyun had given himself an inward slap on the forehead for the cringe line. He didn’t even know he’d say something like that with no hesitancy. It seemed that Kai didn’t see anything wrong with it because he’s back to looking at the building behind Taehyun. He’s got a frown on himself. The quizzical face slipping into a look of concern. Something close to it.
“Surely it gets lonely sometimes.” Then his eyes travel back to the former. “I’ll visit you someday if you let me?”
Soobin’s words ring in Taehyun’s ears.
Too forward .
Kai was far too forward with his words and intentions. He can easily say things like he had no idea of the effect it’ll have on Taehyun. He spouts things like they’re normal, like they’re so easy to say. It’s as if he believed his words have no power to keep Taehyun in dazed the following days wondering what they mean or if they even mean anything. Taehyun hates the times when he’d catch himself thinking back at things Kai has told him, because more than likely it is just how he supposed Kai was; just someone who doesn’t hold back and that the weird skipping of heartbeat Taehyun experiences is most likely unnecessary.
“I mean it.” Kai said half laughing while also leaning down close to Taehyun’s face that had turned away. He read Taehyun’s reaction as Taehyun finding him unbelievable. Well he wasn’t far off.
Instead of replying, Taehyun caught himself forgetting the time. He really had to run, or else he’d be stuck eating the awful hard white bread from the convenience stores until the bakery opens up again at the beginning of the week. Kai read his actions and stepped back, allowing him to disappear to wherever it was he’d like to excuse himself to.
Taehyun doesn’t know what to say or how to bid goodbye to him. Luckily Kai, oh so sociable, grinned at him, already waving his hands. “I’ll see you whenever. You’re also welcome to call me when you want company.”
A simple ‘bye’ is all Taehyun could resound to before he was walking face paced from the direction Kai came from. When he checked behind his shoulders, he saw that Kai was watching him leave. The latter lifted up his hands, waving massively and making Taehyun all flustered. Kai is just friendly, Taehyun concluded himself. Everything he has said, everything he has done is all just based on his friendly character. That was all.
Because the following time Kai came into the salon, Taehyun realised the treatment Kai gave towards him was not as unique as he had secretly hoped.
< November 23 >
It had been over a quarter of a year since the last time Kai had visited the hair salon with Soobin. It also had been some time since the time they properly conversed one on one in front of Taehyun’s apartment. There were various instances of Kai popping out of nowhere, all thanks to the small area and limited people living inside, that they’re bumped into one another at random times of the day. During then they’d talk for a bit, knowing a little more about each other until one of them had to leave.
Taehyun was hidden inside the worker’s room, one foot up on the couch as he lazily scrolls through his social media feed. He had just over five minutes before his break would end, not enough time to start an episode of a show he’s watching.
The bell above the entrance door rings, sound reaching the room. It’s just near the entrance. If the workers don’t have anything plugged into their ear, every conversation from the store ends up slipping inside and they could hear everything. It was always hard to nap during breaks and Taehyun never liked bringing in anything too noise cancelling, in any case he’s called for emergencies.
“You’re almost a regular now don’t you think?”
Taehyun heard his coworker tease whoever it was that entered. The laugh that respond to it though booms loudly in a way that it stole Taehyun’s attention. He even stopped looking at his screen, trying his best to be attentive.
“Is Taehyun here?”
“He’s on break. Can I leave a message for you?”
There are only a few people that knew Taehyun’s name apart from his coworkers – the girl behind the cashier of the bakery he adores, the old woman who always bumped into him when she walks her dog at the same time Taehyun heads to work during morning shifts and Kai. No one else says his name as nicely as the last.
Sure enough when Taehyun lifted his head to look at the monitor of the cameras, Kai was at the front. Though not alone. The person too, was not Soobin.
“Looking for me?” Taehyun exited the room, wiping his face roughly with the back of his hand in any case crumbs from lunch was still littered on his face. He moved without thinking much, too afraid that Kai would leave immediately. He wanted to steal him for a bit, even if it was just their usual short conversations.
Kai’s eyes immediately crinkled happily when he found him. As if he wasn’t just in a middle of a conversation with the girl at the front, Kai walked towards him. His company followed, staying right by Kai’s side. Taehyun can’t ignore them. The two together look like a picture too. A weird swirl in his stomach made him rub it.
Then Kai is introducing them to one another. His name is Beomgyu and Taehyun learnt that he’s Soobin’s new flatmate who will be starting university at the ones that the friends go to.
Kai placed an arm around Beomgyu so casually, squeezing him in. Taehyun found it hard to believe they’ve only known each other for two days. But Beomgyu was as bright as him, chirpy too. He made the first move to reach over to Taehyun who assumed he wanted a handshake but was hauled into his chest for a quick hug. Taehyun was still brushing his apron down awkwardly while Kai continued talking, “Basically Beomgyu is new to the area. Like you!”
It had been over a year since Taehyun’s move. Like usual, he doesn’t mention it.
“I’m showing him around, I guess. You know me–” Taehyun chucked at Kai’s words, because did he know Kai? He’s been closed off to Kai and it always made Kai a little short in his sentences when he’d notice Taehyun doesn’t fit his energy. Taehyun always want to tell Kai to keep talking, to keep filling him in things because he enjoyed listening to him. But Taehyun never does, he never asked for Kai to stay back when he wants to so their conversations aren’t abrupt. He doesn’t let himself go selfish.
“I love showing people around. I’m taking him to nice places, like the library I was talking to you about. The fountain too.” Kai listed some other things that Taehyun had been itching to see but have denied every offer Kai had made, stupidly at that. Because now it’s not him that’s being showed around, it’s Beomgyu who looked annoyingly pretty beside him.
Taehyun had to stop himself from frowning when he noticed the weird swirl growing into an angry churn. He felt physically sick. It wasn’t from jealous or envy. It was all his fault anyway. He’s sick of himself, disappointed to be precise, because now Kai most likely will never offer again and Taehyun can’t do anything but let it be.
The hairdresser noticed his manager heading towards their direction. That usually meant his break was done and he’s getting new jobs to do. Taehyun sent him a small nod, acknowledging he’s pushing the time.
“I’m sure you’d love it.” He’s talking to Beomgyu who told him he’s sure he will. “I’ll see you around maybe.” To Kai this time.
The latter doesn’t budge, moving backward like what Beomgyu did who understood they had to leave. Instead he even put a hand on Taehyun’s shoulder. Too large. Too warm. Taehyun tried not to pay attention to it.
“Soobin’s birthday is soon. It’s at their place. It’s less hassle, easier and a good way for Beomgyu to get to know everyone. We’d love to have you there. Soobin said he’d invite you himself but Imentioned I’d do it since I was on the way to introduce you two together anyway,” He quickly glanced back at Beomgyu behind him before looking back at Taehyun again. “I’ll send you the details. Think it over?”
“Okay.” Taehyun agreed in the end. Besides it didn’t feel like Kai would leave if he doesn’t say he’d consider it. The blond just grinned down at him routinely before he joined Beomgyu who was outside before him. Taehyun doesn’t let his eyes travel on their back, watching them leave in unison until they cross the road.
“They look cute.” His coworker commented. Taehyun exhaled through his nose, “like a painting,” he deadpans all to himself before heading to his manager.
< >
For someone who came over to Soobin’s place to help set up the party earlier that day, Kai still has enough energy in him to even hop skip and jump over small puddles of rain. Taehyun knows he’s just attempting to lessen this weird air between them. Taehyun also knows that he’s the cause of it. He’s been thinking too much ever since he entered Soobin and Beomgyu’s flat.
The one who answered it just had to be Beomgyu too, pulling him into a hug like before and Taehyun let his shoulders and Soobin’s gift that he put in between their collided chest to crinkle up. Taehyun can’t blame the booze in Beomgyu’s system that he definitely had too much off because the smell that comes off from him was alarming. It’s just how he is; touchy.
Kai was too forward. Beomgyu was too touchy. Soobin, Soobin at least was the most normal, Taehyun would say out of the three. And luckily he was there to pull them apart when it looked like Taehyun’s windpipe was going to get cut off. It only made the long haired raven throw his head laughing, giggling while apologies slipped out of him, saying sorry for not realising he was crushing him genuinely.
“Stick with me today,” Beomgyu requested to Taehyun. His pretty brown eyes were happy crescents and he would have had toppled over Taehyun if it wasn’t for Soobin who sighed and held him up by his shoulders. “Tae… Kai talks about you all the time. Really want to get to know you.” They were all slurs and just random train of thoughts.
Taehyun would ask what he meant by Kai talking about him. But Soobin growled something low under his breath, pulled Beomgyu away before telling Taehyun to make himself at home. If it was possible, Taehyun had thought that time. It’s almost like the birthday celebrant didn’t realise that he practically didn't know anyone. Everyone was an unfamiliar face and he wasn’t like Beomgyu who seemed to befriend everyone too easily.
Kai had found him at least, welcoming him too loudly. Taehyun just simmered in his spot as Kai almost boomed out how glad he was that Taehyun had come and he said multiple sweet things like he had been waiting for him, looking for him or said he’d thought of him the night beforr. Taehyun never paid attention to them even if it made blood rush to his cheeks, because that’s just how Kai was. But Kai also noticed his too-silent treatment, if it was even possible. Albeit Kai did, so Taehyun guessed it was.
The latter just couldn’t get over Beomgyu and him. Whatever they were or whatever that day meant. It was awful for him to dwell on, because he had no business wondering about others' relationships. At the same time he doesn’t think he could last the night not having an answer, so he decided to do it. To ask. To be… selfish.
“How did Beomgyu find it?” Taehyun had questioned Kai who dragged him to where the refreshments were.
“Yeah, fine I guess. I didn’t take him to a lot of places. We just ended up looking at vintage shops, some op popup stores too.” Kai shrugged without much thought. “I guess it was okay though.”
“Hm. Not the date you were after?” Taehyun spouted. He tried to pretend he was joking by breathily chuckling along as he spoke. He hid his own widened eyes, surprised by what he said by staring down at the mix punches on the table by his hip.
Kai accompanied his weird chuckles with his own hearty chortle, even throwing his head back while shaking his head. “No,” he calmed down with a last bit of laughter like Taehyun was just so comical. “Besides, it wasn’t one. Far from it.”
“It could be. You know some people find street walking, window shopping a date.”
“That’s not what i meant, Taehyun.” Kai retorted. He didn’t continue speaking until Taehyun gazes up at him and saw the way Kai was already looking at him. He’s dead serious and his eyes fixed on Taehyun, holding him there so he doesn't look away too.
Kai then played with the mobile phone in his hand, flipping inside his palm like he couldn’t stay still. “I meant, if anything, Beomgyu is far from someone i’d consider date material. I don’t see him like that.”
Taehyun held his tongue asking why. Because Beomgyu seemed to be sweet, touchy sure but it can be cute once they’re closer friends, and he’s drop dead gorgeous. Taehyun kept stealing him looks the whole night, just watching how effortlessly he was and picturing Kai next to him didn’t seem so bad.
Kai’s brows frowned at him just a slight, before his lips slang into a half smirk. “C’mon Taehyun,” he almost whispered upper body leaning down at him, eyes diverting from his. “Do I not make myself obvious enough?”
The party wasn’t noisy nor too busy. It seemed it was just Soobin’s close friends and they all got along together, some playing on the living space and some out on Soobin’s balcony chatting (Taehyun spotted Beomgyu there) but it was still loud enough for Taehyun to mask his beating heartbeat. There were billions of thoughts that raced through Taehyun’s head. All the possible what if’s in response to Kai’s words. Kai’s faltering eye contact. His soft face that looked a little aloof. If it was brighter where they were, would there be pink blossoms on Kai’s cheeks as well?
Kai visibly inhaled after a moment of silence when Taehyun doesn’t reply. “I wanted it to be you.” And the words knocked a punch at Taehyun’s stomach who began to start having a coughing fit.
They didn’t end up continuing their conversations because Kai was too busy getting a drink that wasn’t alcoholic and even started to make a scene asking Soobin where he kept his water. More than four people helped Taehyun to relax since his coughs got even worse with the added embarrassment from the attention. At least Taehyun could conclude that their friend group was nice.
“What did you mean by what you said earlier?” Taehyun asks. They curve into the main road leading to their houses. It is no surprised that they found nothing else on the side road they headed too. During then too, Taehyun haven’t said anything he wanted to. Now that he could see the street that leads up to his house, he feels the crunch of time and the definite desperation to get whatever it is out of himself. Something close to a confession, that is.
Kai’s purses his lips forwards, twisting them as he hums like he’s wondering what it is Taehyun is on about. The latter lets him think for himself, too embarrassed to say it out loud.
“When I said that I wanted it to be you?” Kai double checks even if it is obvious to both males that yes, that is what Taehyun is referring to.
When there is a nod of answer, Kai lets out a nervous laugh. It barely sounded anything close to hilarity, more so tense and just a noise that got caught in his throat. “Nothing else but that. That if it’s a date, then I’d want it to be with you. If you don’t like me like that, then i’d still want to spend the day with you not Beomgyu.”
He’s looking ahead when Taehyun steals a look at him. His long lashes droop a little lower as he speaks. The small tug of the corner of his lips is visible from the angle too. Taehyun can’t make sense of what the smile means. He doesn’t ask and Kai continues to speak. Every single word that comes out of his lips makes Taehyun feel desperate to stop the time to take it in more personally. To want to stop walking, to be still so he could hear everything clearly. For the rain to stop too that seems to be getting stronger. He wanted to hear Kai and hear the words he didn’t expect to come from him.
It feels like he’s dreaming. Taehyun would pinch himself under his arms but he feels weak all over. Like putty because of the other male.
“I’m not saying I hate Beomgyu, God no. I love the guy. Very nice guy, fun to be with. Let’s just say when I dropped him off in front of their flat we patted each other on the shoulder and said “see you later bro” in unison.” Kai glances down at him, he’s trying to make a small joke in the situation. He even nudges Taehyun playfully with his elbow, “if you know what I’m trying to say here.”
He does. He does but it still feels unreal. If he says he understands that Kai doesn’t see Beomgyu that way, would it be too arrogant? If he says he gets that Kai is flirting with him at the moment, would he be getting ahead of himself? Because the gentle expression on Kai’s face as he lets it relax on Taehyun’s, makes him want to be arrogant, makes him want to get ahead of himself because well… Kai looks as if he’s head over heels for him.
They’re beginning to walk uphill now. Barely three hundred metres till Taehyun’s apartment complex. He’d have to say goodbye to Kai too soon. Taehyun wonders if he could continue this conversation the next day or if he could even keep this growing confidence inside himself in the following days. It feels like a rare moment. Rare and right. Like this is meant to happen only tonight and if Taehyun would let go then, then he’d most likely have no other chance.
So he doesn’t let it slip between his fingers.
“Take me to the places you wanted me to see.” Not a request at all. Taehyun’s words come out clearly and loud above the rain. If he says that he slipped over his words it is most likely Kai would not buy it because he oozes with want. Greed.
“I’m off tomorrow, and uh,” Taehyun clears his throat because Kai moves so he’s standing in front of him who halts in his position, rather than beside him. Even with the darkness the night brought with it, Taehyun can see the way the former’s eyes glimmer. “If the offer is still open… then take me.”
“Can I really?” Kai breathes. His chest is rising and falling obviously. Taehyun wonders what he looks like to Kai. If he too have the same smitten expression like what Kai currently has plastered all over his face. If he too looked like a newborn calf, shaking from nervousness like Kai is appearing. The blond’s demeanour is falling. It’s cracking in a way that Taehyun gets to understand that Kai likes him. Just the same way as what Taehyun can tell now, is the same way as how he feels for him. It probably had been for a while now but Taehyun never let himself come to a conclusion from all the confusion and wonders he’s built in his head.
At least he’s not too late because there he is, Kai looking like he won the lottery when Taehyun nods small, adding in, “make it a date,” quietly.
“What would you do if I walk you up to your cousins house?” Taehyun questions as they reach the front of his own complex. Now that their walk is over and he’s at his destination, he really has no other ways to extend it longer. He’s stolen Kai for as long as he could. Taehyun wishes it is longer.
Kai looks to where he lives, “then I’d walk you back down.”
“Kai.” Taehyun nibbles the inside of his lips.
“I mean it.” Kai laughs. “I want to see you head inside.”
“So do I.”
The blond reaches over, ruffles Taehyun’s hair gently with his free hand. He slides it hand down to play with a strand that frames his face before ghostly glides his palms just on the lower half of Taehyun’s face. It is most likely red and hot. It feels like it's been that way for a while.
Kai looks like he’s drawing him in his head. Taehyun thinks he’s adorable looking so dazed just gawking at him. The man is really feeding his self esteem, any more and Taehyun would be thinking he’s the King of the world with the way Kai treats him like so.
“Maybe next time when it’s not raining.” Kai offers, taking his hand away and putting it inside the pocket of his jacket. The rain is getting stronger and the wind appears to be going against the direction Kai has to head. Taehyun really needs to let him go soon before he gets caught in a storm. The latter has no idea how far or how near Kai’s place is from his.
Taehyun accepts it. “Maybe tomorrow?”
“Maybe tomorrow.” Kai takes a step back, nodding to the entrance door – wordlessly telling Taehyun to enter. “I’ll pick you up at around two if that’s okay.”
They share good nights after that before Taehyun practically skips inside, too happy to hide it. When he peers over his shoulder, Kai is still watching him. Taehyun already misses having him beside him.
The latter realises then that it’s not just him that has seen Kai’s back during the times they've interacted. Kai too has lingered behind just like how he is right now, watching him disappear before he moves on. Maybe like Taehyun, he misses him just as soon during the times they have to evidently part.
Oh, Taehyun can’t wait for tomorrow to come.
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