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He looked at his son, gritting his teeth and unsure how he could ever say goodbye.
He had made mistakes with choosing what was most important in life before, been taken for granted, but he'd never made a mistake with being there for his son Wakatoshi.
Until now. His heart felt split between what could be and what could have been. What if his baby Toshi started to hate volleyball too much to stay happy? What if Toshi loved volleyball so much that he yearned for it in its entirety; yearned for fame and for growth?
Utsui’s luck was running thin. He'd managed to be with his son, managed to let him keep his left-handedness, but he couldn't for a second believe this could last forever.
He'd been able to stay with his son for this long on account that Wakatoshi would make his line and ancestors proud through the skill of volleyball. Volleyball wasn't wonderful to his ex-wife, who was quite disgusted at the thought of her son 'playing around with a ball' as a career. Her mother was a bit more impartial, believing that a man's strength was only physical, and if Wakatoshi could excel in a sport, he might have a chance, she said. A chance that Utsui had, but failed at.
He just recently was allowed to leave the Takashi household – escaping it, never feeling love from his arranged spouse. Feeling like he was sentenced to never mean anything to his son after this. He was now only doing this to possibly stay with his son for just a little longer.
‘Your grandmother wanted you to live with me as long as I agree to train you in volleyball every weekday after school. Even if you don’t want to train with me, she’s made volleyball compulsory on you. I didn’t want to force it on you. At least you get to choose this one, to stay with me and I’ll train you in volleyball, or you’ll be home and will have my friend to train you. He was one of the best wing spikers that graduated with me in high school. You can be really strong with him.’
Wakatoshi instantly pointed at his father, ‘I’ll live with you.’
‘Toshi…!!’
His father squeezed him tight and rubbed his back in a fervour of emotion.
‘Tell your grandmother that this is what you want. Tell her when you see her.’
Just a little longer, son, he thought.