Work Text:
Void surrounded him. Nothingness clinged to his being- wait… that’s not right. He didn’t exist anymore.
Words spoke around him without a voice, sentences splitting and cutting. Scenes showed themselves while blending in with the Void, flipping by faster than he could pay attention.
“...ja!”
A voice split through the darkness, shaking it. It seemed to unstabilize, colours spilling in through the black.
“... Dokja!”
A blinding flash devoured the Void, noise bleeding in with a deafening suddenness.
“Kim Dokja!” He fainty recognised the voice. The name escaped him, blurry letters being on one of those page spirals that slipped away from him. He could only have the sinking feeling this has happened before.
Exhaustion burned his eyelids. They closed automatically, desperately trying to soothe the ache. There were more voices around him which he ignored, nausea punching his gut and swirling head.
Then, it hit him all at once.
Kim Dokja was his name.
And he slipped between realities, alternate universes being nothing more than a playground for him.
This world’s Kim Dokja’s memories slammed into him full force, life flashing in his mind with such force he swore he’d pass out.
The reason he was here… was because it wasn’t time for this one to die. Could he be positive? No. Just a feeling as if having been through this innumerous times prior. The more he tried to pinpoint a specific time, the more the aged page lines spilled away.
Kim Dokja gritted his teeth, pushing himself up and opening his eyes slowly. He was in a hospital, lazy beeping from the heart monitor proving his living. There was a doctor and a man talking in the corner, words passing his ears without processing them. Using the memories transported to him, he identified the man.
Yoo Joonghyuk. A professional streamer with killer game skills. Childhood friends with, currently, a rocky relationship. Not because of any fights or anything; instead the uncertainty comes from a hesitant romance blossoming. Years and years of fearful pinning suddenly coming to light for both of them. If he was to give this Kim Dokja a happy end, he’d have to fix that.
It was strange how, even without the memories from previous “lives”, he felt full confidence there was never a timeline without the other.
Snapping out of his thoughts, flint eyes watching with mild curiosity as the other approached. Relief was clear in Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes, his usually perfect posture ruined by slumped shoulders. Dark eye bags laid under piercing obsidian-coloured eyes. Exhaustion darkened his face, sharp jawli-
No, he was not doing this right now.
“How are you feeling?” It was asked with an almost hesitance, as if afraid of something.
“Feeling as good as I can after a failed murder attempt.”
The other’s lip curl could only be noticed by their countless history together. Even if only one knew of its existence. “You’re an idiot, Kim Dokja.”
To anyone else, this statement might seem aggressive. Even the doctor glanced over with a bit of shock, question passing of their eyes. To Kim Dokja, however, it expressed a thousand things in five words. Worry, relief, amusement, annoyance, and… love.
“Kim Dokja.” The doctor cleared their throat, giving his physical appearance a glance over. “You’ve been in a coma for three months. Regarding the accident… it’s impressive you managed to wake up at all. It may be difficult to recall much; if anything at all.”
Kim Dokja shook his head slowly. “I don’t think I have any memory issues.”
The doctor stared, seeming to contemplate something. “I see…” doubt of the patient’s words was clear in the manner of speech, “well, if you do, know it’s normal for this kind of injury. I must warn, however, that gaining lost memories back is a very low chance.”
Would he have to pretend to have a loss of memories…? For anyone normal, this whole ordeal would’ve been lethal. Well, it technically was. So the doctor’s shock about him waking up and doubt that he has all memories intact isn’t hard to believe.
Kim Dokja gave a polite smile. “I understand. Thank you, doctor.”
The doctor smiled back, turning to regard Yoo Joonghyuk. “I’m sure you two have a lot to discuss. Do keep what I’ve said in mind.” He nodded eagerly. “And he also needs rest soon, so try to keep the visit short.”
And with that, the two were alone.
“... do you really remember everything?”
Ah, so that must’ve been why he seemed afraid to ask how Kim Dokja was doing. He was afraid he was forgotten. “I’m fairly confident. Though, even if I don’t, I’m sure you wouldn’t have any problems helping…?”
Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes snapped up, looking a bit panicked. “Of course!” It was such an honest reaction, Kim Dokja felt a strong urge to bully him a bit. “Even if you didn’t remember me, I’d always help you.”
The pinning was almost painful for him. Based on the memories, Kim Dokja knew they were both absolute idiots. Dancing around each other for so, so many years. The romantic (and sexual) tension was so palpiable it could’ve been cut with a knife. “Thank you, Joonghyuk. I’ll be in your hands.”
A dusting of red painted the other’s face and, ah, he really wants to bully him. He could almost see the golden retriever ears and tail.
“When will I be discharged?”
Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head. “Not for a while. The doctors have to monitor your condition given how… extreme the accident was.”
Kim Dokja let silence settle between the two, egging the other to continue talking. After a moment of debating it, he spoke again. “Do you know who did this to you…?”
A blurry face came to mind. It was someone he knew, someone he met before. But any description or name laid on smudged ink, swallowed by the darkness. The harder he tried to recall what was written on the few story pages, the blurrier the person became. “I don’t.”
An odd mixture of relief and disappointment flashed across his face if only for a brief moment. “That’s… probably for the best…”
“Do you know?”
Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head. “If I knew, I would’ve made that bastard suffer.”
Kim Dokja laughed, reaching up - with extra attention to not mess with the IVs in his arm - to ruffle the other’s hair. “Not to worry!” He smiled brightly, making sure to put extra sparkle into his eyes. “It’ll be fine. No one is dumb enough to try and kill someone a second time.”
“I don’t think that should be your first response…” Yoo Joonghyuk practically melted into the touch, anxiety slipping away.
Kim Dokja was lying. If he was here, it meant danger was still near. If the world just wanted to keep this one alive, it would have torn a part of him in the Void to birth new life. The world deemed it needed more though, sending his entirety here instead.
He needed to get discharged as soon as possible. The danger was possible from anyone, especially in a place as open as this.
“Joonghyuk, I’m getting a bit tired.”
He instantly stood to alert, gently pushing Kim Dokja down and pulling the thin blanket up. “Get some rest, Dokja.”
“You’ll come back, right?”
“Aways.”
The answer was instinctual, confession in its rawest form. There wasn’t a single bit of room for contradiction. It was as sure as the sun would rise.
Now alone, Kim Dokja closed his eyes. Weariness choked his bones, iron weight tied to his limbs. He has to make a plan. A plan to set this world on the right course again. And a personal mission to set the two disgustingly sappy people together.
But first, getting discharged. He couldn’t do anything stuck in a hospital bed.
It took an entire week to convince the hospital he was well enough. Physical therapy was a bitch, forcing his uncooperative limbs to move in the way they wanted. Even after he perfected it, the hospital was still hesitant. He has to practically beg for them to finally relent.
And Kim Dokja felt offended knowing it was probably Yoo Joonghyuk’s words that were the deciding factor.
Regardless, he was out and now home.
This Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk shared house (“As friends!” A blushy Kim Dokja insisted to exhausted friends. Kim Dokja felt just as tired having to look through the memories) with four bedrooms. One was changed into Yoo Joonghyuk’s streaming room. Kim Dokja’s room would’ve been better described as a library than a bedroom.
“Do you want anything specific for lunch?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked, trying an apron around his waist while Kim Dokja sat at the counter, spinning back and forth on a bar stool.
“Hm…” Such a basic question, yet he found himself unable to answer. There were too many options. In every world, despite him having only sparks of blurry memory that escape as quick as they come, he was certain the other was a godly cook in every world.
Yoo Joonghyuk noticed the distress, coming in for the rescue as he always did. “How about pinwheel sandwiches?”
After a nod of confirmation, he started to cook. Watching him cook was an art, each movement precise and not wasting a drop of energy. And if Kim Dokja was also ogling at the way different muscles flexed and relaxed, who could blame him? He was stuck in the middle of everywhere yet nowhere almost all the time! For god knows how long each time!
Wiping the drool away from his mouth, curiosity overtook him. “How has streaming been?”
“I’ve been on hiatus.”
“Oh? Why?”
“There’s no point in streaming if you’re not there.” The answer was blunt. So, so obvious. How could the prior Kim Dokja even meander the idea that the streamer wasn’t hopelessly in love with him??
“Does that mean you’ll begin streaming again?”
Yoo Joonghyuk nodded, beginning to chop a tomato. Kim Dokja wrinkled his nose, looking at the red fruit as if it had slaughtered all his friends in front of him.
“How has Mia been?”
“She took the accident hard.” Yoo Joonghyuk admitted honestly. “She skipped school for an entire week.”
Before Kim Dokja could respond, a pang of guilt raking him, the other continued with a hint of excitement. “Speaking of, she should be back soon. She’ll be ecstatic to have you back.”
Kim Dokja gave a light laugh. “That reminds me. Does anyone else know?”
Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head. “I figured you would prefer to tell them yourself.”
He hummed, leaning back the stool until it remained grounded by only two legs. It was a good decision. If the person who was going after him was part of their friend group, them knowing he was awake was a significant disadvantage. This buys him at least a little extra time to do some research.
What was the best way to go about this? He would have to start by figuring out which ones of their mutual friends were trustworthy and wouldn’t, y’know, try to take him out early a second time. He closed his eyes, picturing the first name that came to mind from stolen recollection.
Han Sooyoung.
He could picture her face perfectly. Up until the point he noticed shreds of paper floating around her, letters splitting from the threads and ink unforming midair. Her face distorted, the scene he pictured her in switching faster then he could recognise any of them.
Shit… what was her name again? It was on one of the strips. He remembers seeing the letters peel off and become unformed.
“Kim Dokja?”
He opened his eyes, snapped out of his head. A headache pounded his temple, shaking his eyes. Yoo Joonghyuk was in front of him, clasping Kim Dokja’s cheeks with his hands. “What’s the matter?”
His hands were trembling. “Oh, sorry.” Kim Dokja shrugged, glancing around behind the other. The sandwiches were plated, each having a toothpick through them. The apron was hung back on the hook. He must’ve been spacing out for a few minutes. “I got lost in thought.”
Yoo Joonghyuk stared at him, expression blank. Finally, he closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath slowly, dropping his hands as if moving too quickly would hurt the man in front of him. “I-” his voice cracked, which he cleared away, “I thought I’d lost you. You wouldn’t respond.”
“No, I’m fine.” Kim Dokja decided to leave it at that, grabbing one of the fallen hands. He rubbed circles on it with his thumb, noticing how its owner’s eyes burned into the movement. Han Sooyoung . How could he have forgotten?
They stayed like that for a moment. Neither spoke, one in fear of breaking the moment while the other too busy planning. Upon hearing the front door open, Yoo Joonghyuk snatched his hand away, turning around to try and hide the deep blush colouring his face.
Cute…
Kim Dokja spun around on the stool, smiling at a very shocked Yoo Mia. She stared at him as if he were a ghost, backpack half off in an almost comedic fashion.
“Hey there, kiddo.” He chirped happily, watching her slowly blink. Once. Twice. Then, something clicked and she jumped into hugging him, backpack abandoned on the ground. The momentum shoved Kim Dokja’s poor spine into the counter, him swallowing back a wince of pain.
Unconsciously, his arms wrapped around her. In response, Yoo Mia tightened her arms into a suffocating embrace.
“He’s still recovering.” Yoo Joonghyuk chastised, though it held no malice. He also made zero moves to save Kim Dokja, who was starting to get concerned he’d break a rib. Thankfully, she got the message and slipped down to the floor.
“You’re an idiot.”
There was not a single ounce of doubt they were siblings.
“Well, I’m sorry I didn’t expect a murder attempt.” He huffed with mock offence.
“You always say to expect the unexpected.”
Ah, she got him there. Though he wasn’t the one to say it, per say. “There’s a bit of a difference between ‘bringing an umbrella on a clear day’ and ‘someone pushing you off a building’.”
Yoo Mia shrugged. “Same difference.”
Before Kim Dokja could get into an argument with a child, Yoo Joonghyuk chuckled. “Come on, let’s eat.”
Kim Dokja spent a day figuring out a plan. If he wanted this Kim Dokja to survive, he had to be careful. Finding allies was vital for “his” survival.
Combing through memories, he put his plan into action. The sooner he could through this whole ordeal, the better.
After all, this wasn’t his world to be in.
He asked Yoo Joonghyuk to keep on break for just a bit more. The other agreed without hesitation. Kim Dokja asked if he could text two people for a meet up, making sure they were under the impression it would be Yoo Joonghyuk meeting them. The other did it without a single question.
And then the day passed, and now Kim Dokja was sitting inside a café. The atmosphere was calm, business slow and lazy. Leaves littered the ground outside, café doors firmly shut against the chilling weather.
They were late. Kim Dokja tsked, circling the edge of the coffee cup he ordered.
He knew they weren’t the type of people to ditch, especially not if they were under the impression they’d be meeting Yoo Joonghyuk.
Speak of the devil and He shall appear. Kim Dokja looked up at the door as the bell above it rang. They looked around, frowning and murmuring to each other as they approached his table.
“Ah… excuse me.” Yoo Sangah spoke with a polite smile. “I believe you are in the wrong seat? This booth is reserved.”
It wasn’t any bother they didn’t recognise him. He did cover up practically every square inch of himself. Better be safe than sorry.
Han Sooyoung looked him up and down suspiciously. After a moment, she slid in the booth and patted next to her. Yoo Sangah sat, giving her a questioning look.
“Alright.” Han Sooyoung rested her elbows on the table, chin laying on interlocking fingers. “What’s with the getup?”
Kim Dokja laughed internally. It was impressive how she almost instantly knew who he was. He took off his sunglasses and mask, ignoring the look of shock on the other. “I need your help.”
Han Sooyoung laughed, leaning back against the booth seat with a smug smirk. “It must be pretty dire if you’re asking for my help.”
“I want to get together with Yoo Joonghyuk.”
Both of them stared silently. Slowly, Yoo Sangah nodded. “I never thought this day would come…”
“Are you sure you’re actually fine…? No permanent trauma to the head or anything…?”
“Sooyoung, be nice. Look at how pathetic he looks. He really needs our help.”
Wait a minute-
“You’re right.” Han Sooyoung agreed with a nod. “How should we go about doing this?”
Yoo Sangah scooted out of the booth, giving her a bright smile. “Would you mind ordering us something?”
The other relented, shockingly, without any complaint. Now alone, Yoo Sangah stared directly at him.
Kim Dokja hummed. She was more observant than his memories served him. “I need information.”
“On?”
“Everyone Yoo Joonghyuk and I know, mutually or otherwise.”
She closed her eyes, thinking. “Is this about the incident?”
He grimly nodded. She was his gateway to finding out if anyone was targeting him. “It would help. A lot.”
“There’s more you aren’t saying.” It wasn’t a question. She wasn’t prying for any extra information; simply stating she knows he isn’t giving away the full truth.
So, in response, he gave an emotionless smile.
“I ordered some coffee and food for us.” The two returned to their original seats. “I can’t believe you’ve finally stopped being a little bitch and grow a pair.”
“That’s oddly aggressive…”
Han Sooyoung hummed happily, fingers tapping against her arm. “We’ve been waiting years for this moment. It was painful watching you two eye-fuck each other constantly .”
Unfortunately, Kim Dokja could concur. If anything, she was underexaggerating just how awful their dancing around each other was. “Yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes. “Are you going to help or not?”
“Is that even a question?” Han Sooyoung laughed, light suddenly burning in her eyes. Kim Dokja has a sudden sinking feeling, her face twisting less from human and more into demon. “You couldn’t have picked a better wingman!”
“I have made a mistake.”
Yoo Sangah gave a sympathetic smile.
“Let’s throw a party Saturday.”
Kim Dokja frowned. “A party?”
“Yeah! Get everyone together. It’ll be the perfect place to confess your undying love too. Oh, but it’ll be more impactful if they don’t know you’ll be attending…” Han Sooyoung turned to Yoo Sangah, resting her cheek on her fist. “Sangah, what do you think?”
She looked fairly serious thinking. “I think it’s a great idea.” She spoke after a moment with a bright smile. “It may be hard to keep Kim Dokja a secret but… I’m sure the four of us can think of something.”
A waiter swung by, dropping off a steaming cup of coffee in front of Yoo Sangah and Han Sooyoung. A small tower of pastries was placed in the middle, the waiter speaking pleasantries before attending another table.
“Four days is too soon…” Kim Dokja nibbled on one of the pastries. Would he be able to find the danger before then? Damn it… if only he had gotten out of the hospital earlier, he would’ve been able to solve this already and give the owner’s body back.
Han Sooyoung misconstrued his worry. “There’s no time like the present, especially for something like this. Don’t pussy out now.”
Would Yoo Sangah be able to get all the information he needed by then? She still has her office job to deal with. And even if she, by some miracle, managed to, would he have enough time to investigate everyone?
He looked up at her, freezing at her expression. This was going to make or break everything.
“... I’ll ask if Joonghyuk is free.”
Only a day and a half had passed before Yoo Sangah contacted him again. She handed him a folder bound together by a paperclip, excusing herself quickly. She was using her lunch break to deliver this, much to Kim Dokja’s guilt.
Yoo Joonghyuk gave it a curious look. He reached towards it, stopping midway when Kim Dokja pulled it back with a wink. For his own sanity, the other didn’t contest it and just huffed a bit in displeasure.
Kim Dokja cleaned off his bedroom’s desk, pushing papers away without care while carefully stacking books next to it. He opened the packet, giving the papers a brief flip through before digging into the material.
The first paper was neatly organised, three columns titled Dokja , Joonghyuk , and Mutual . Names were listed under each one, some larger than others. It was to be expected his was laughably small. Glancing over the names listed didn’t inspire any specific emotion in him, though he did silently absorb them. Putting them to faces and whatever memories, if any, associated with them.
Putting that paper aside, he began the material with an eagle’s eye. It was where people were during the time, going into as much detail as saying if there’s any proof to their alibis or not. Excluding him and Yoo Joonghyuk, for obvious reasons.
Kim Dokja scrutinised every word, trying to see if there was any contradicting information. There were also notes of who visited him in the hospital how many times and if anyone said anything suspicious the day of or the three months of his coma. Nothing… nothing… more of nothing…
He leaned back, frustrated. It wasn’t useless at all, information almost concerningly specific. For some reason, he hoped the perpetrator would be clear as day. He shouldn’t have even amused the idea; if there was even an inkling towards anyone they would’ve been torn to shreds.
Kim Dokja would’ve assumed it had been a stranger, maybe drunk or trying to play a game. That would’ve been an easy assumption, which would’ve led him to much less stress. No, the issue comes from just before.
The reason he was on the roof.
A note.
This Kim Dokja was particularly suspicious. It’s how he’s survived. Therefore, there’s only two reasons why the note was effective.
One, blackmail.
Two, trust.
Sure, it could’ve been blackmail. But he- this world’s Kim Dokja didn’t have any secrets worth the risk for.
And he was possive the note was signed. No one is dumb enough to blackmail someone with their name on the note.
He sighed, putting down the paper he started to reread for the 5th time. This whole thing would be easy to figure out if he could recall the note.
The only things he could remember was the address, telling him to go to the roof, and the time. The harder he tried to get any more information, the further away the memory became.
A polite knock on his door snapped him out of his thoughts. He haphazardly put the folder back together, ungracefully tripping and stumbling his way back to the door. Wow. He really should at least try to clean up for Kim Dokja .
“Y-yes?” He inwardly cringed at his voice break, looking at Yoo Joonghyuk’s face as if his life depended on it. Sweat stuck his dark grey shirt skin tight, showing off his very very very veryveryvery fine muscles. He had on a lighter, but still dark, grey sweatpants and holyfuckjesuschrist .
Kim Dokja no longer was worried about someone trying to kill him. Because this man, right in front of him, was going to be the death of him.
“Was just checking on you.” His breath came out a bit puffy, chest expanding further than his usual breathing. “Also, Mia is at a friend’s house tonight.”
Wait. Kim Dokja’s brain finally stopped short circuiting, processing the very hot person’s words. This is perfect…!
“Let’s go out tonight.” Kim Dokja grabbed his forearm, shoving down dirty thoughts with more force than should be needed. His- no, he berated himself sternly, this Kim Dokja’s life was at risk.
Yoo Joonghyuk blinked at him, ears burning a bit darker red. “Like, on a d-”
“Let’s go to where I was pushed.”
The golden retriever ears and tail fell instantaneously. Kim Dokja tilted his head slightly. “Sorry, did you say something?”
“No.” He looked slightly uncomfortable. “But… why do you want to go back there?”
“Don’t you want to know who tried to kill me?”
“I do.” Yoo Joonghyuk’s expression turned serious, eyes sharp enough to kill. On a similar note, Kim Dokja was sure the other was fully capiable of murder. “But…” his eyes locked with the ground, “there’s different ways to find out.”
Kim Dokja laughed, light and airy. “Don’t worry Joonghyukie!~ There’s no way I can be in danger with you there.”
Fire burned across Yoo Joonghyuk’s face. “... when are we leaving?”
“When you get changed. I’ll be out in the car.” Kim Dokja slipped by, thoughts racing. Even if this adventure proved fruitless, it’d still give him something. The scene.
Any time he thought of the person’s face, his mind flipped a lid. Probably some trauma bull yada yada.
It wasn’t the same thing that happened whenever he tried to remember other Yoo Joonghyuks. Millions of experiences melted together, creating a nausea-inducing blur of images and colour.
Kim Dokja slipped into the passenger seat, reaching over to start the car. He blasted the heat, settling back to look out the window, watching out for his not-so-little helper. It only took another minute for the other to appear, locking the front door behind him.
There was a spare hoodie folded over his arm, getting tossed at Kim Dokja when he got in the driver’s side. “It’ll be annoying if you get sick.”
Kim Dokja accepted it. He would’ve grabbed his own if he wasn’t… distracted . Putting it on, he idly wondered if Yoo Joonghyuk had purposely grabbed one of his personal hoodies or if it was just a matter of convenience.
Oh, who was he kidding. He was sure Yoo Joonghyuk was practically salivating at the opportunity.
“...?” Kim Dokja looked at the other as he drove. “I never told you the address.”
Yoo Joonghyuk looked confused. “You… don’t remember?”
“Remember what?” He didn’t think there were any gaps in his memory.
Guilt hunched his shoulder. His voice was barely above a whisper. “I was the one who drove you.”
Why. Didn’t. He. Remember?
Kim Dokja stared blankly, trying to recall anything . Nothing came up. He read the note… went to the place… and got shoved. There was no Yoo Joonghyuk in it. “... really?”
Yoo Joonghyuk nodded. This is important. Maybe the missing puzzle piece was next to him all along. “What happened?”
He gave the information as if spilling it, treating it like a venom on his tongue. “You asked me to drive you here. You looked uncomfortable. You wouldn’t let me follow you.”
Did he see him fall? His reluctance to continue answered that question for him.
At the lack of response, Yoo Joonghyuk spilled his heart in the car. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have let you leave. I should’ve made sure you were okay. I sho-”
“Joonghyuk.” Kim Dokja spoke softly, forcing the other to pay attention to hear him. “It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. I’m fine, right?”
A nameless emotion grew in obsidian eyes. It was so warm, something Kim Dokja wasn’t used to. Maybe the other Kim Dokja was.
“We’re here.”
Kim Dokja got out of the car, looking at the building in front of him. An abandoned school. Specifically, an abandoned high school. Specifically specifically, the high school he attended.
No, wait. Kim Dokja attended the school, not him. Damn it, he had to hurry. His memories were starting to get written into his own.
The two trekked on, Kim Dokja having to practically drag Yoo Joonghyuk up the disrepaired stairways and onto the roof.
He walked up to one of the guard rails, peeking over the edge. Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t yell at him, instead opting to wrap one of his arms around the other’s waist.
School… roof… school… roof…
He could feel he was close. Just one more piece and he’d have it.
No… he already had it. He already had everything he needed to know.
“Yoo Joonghyuk…” The other immediately perked up after hearing his full name. “I know who it was.”
Saturday rolled around faster than he wished for. He still wasn’t sure this plan was going to work.
They were lucky Yoo Mia decided to go to a friend’s house for the weekend. Having forgotten to ask Yoo Joonghyuk about the party until the last minute, it would’ve been difficult to have prepared everything.
“We’ll be late if you don’t get out.”
Kim Dokja bit his bottom lip. Anxiety rooted him in place. What if they didn’t want to see him? Maybe they didn’t actually like him? Were they glad when they heard he was in a coma? It’s not too late. He can still ask to go home, lay in his bed all day and wish for time to waste him away.
“Dokja…” A warm hand on his cheek slowly calmed him. “Don’t make that expression. Everyone will be overjoyed to have you.”
Kim Dokja stared at him, shy smile just barely upturning his lips. “Are you sure?”
“Positive. Let’s go.”
Kim Dokja let himself be led inside the house. Han Sooyoung’s house, to be exact. It was a large house paid purely in book royalties. Who knew being an author could be so fruitful?
Even before opening the door, he could hear chatter inside. It seemed like alcohol had already been served, if the ridiculous laughter was anything to go off of.
Yoo Joonghyuk opened the door, pulling them both inside with hands clasped together. Suddenly, the floor was oh-so fascinating. Wow, look at that wood pattern. Who knew it could… pattern… like that?
The party fell silent for such a long time Kim Dokja thought he was back in the Void for a moment. Then, all at once, an uproar began.
Kim Dokja looked up, noting the people at the party. Lee Hyunsung and Lee Seolhwa were the only two totally sober, the former having to babysit an extremely tipsy Han Sooyoung. Usually that fell on Yoo Sangah’s shoulder but she wasn’t here yet, Kim Dokja noted silently. Lee Seolhwa, Jung Heewon, and Lee Jihye were in a corner for some reason, playing cards.
Han Sooyoung started laughing hysterically at the other’s shocked expressions. Lee Hyunsung was the first to break from the trance, rushing up to the pair.
“Kim Dokja! Are you okay? Why are you out of the hospital? When did you wake up?”
Kim Dokja laughed, warmth swelling in his heart. “One question at a time, please?”
The others’ trances soon broke too, coming up to him and asking him an overwhelming amount of questions. Lee Seolhwa squinted at him from a bit of distance, thoughts unreadable.
“Kim Dokja! My best friend!” Han Sooyoung threw an arm over his shoulder, pulling him with more strength than a drunk person should have. “Here, have a drink.”
Lee Seolhwa cut in. “It’s not appropriate for him to have alcoholic beverages so soon.”
Kim Dokja shook his head. “Thanks for the concern, but I’m fine. Really.” He smiled under the piercing gaze. Sometimes, the doctor was more scary than Yoo Joonghyuk. Wanting to escape the burning look, he accepted the drink from Han Sooyoung and downed it in one go.
“Don’t drink too much.” Yoo Joonghyuk warned him, running his eyes up and down him.
“Relax.” They both ignored Han Sooyoung’s parroting. “We all haven’t been together in a while. This is cause for celebration, right?”
Kim Dokja handed off the red Solo cup to Yoo Joonghyuk, unknown alcohol splashing against its walls. He stared at the liquid for a moment, giving in with a sigh. Watching the other down it just as he did, he couldn’t help but feel a bit of pleasure.
So far, everything was going according to plan.
All that needed to happen now was for Yoo Sangah to join them.
The party continued on, jokes, games, and idle conversation passing the time quickly.
Kim Dokja found out Lee Gilyoung started to apply himself fully to school, hoping his hard work would bring Kim Dokja back. He made a mental note to pay a visit to the middle schooler soon.
Four cups down, Kim Dokja was beginning to feel very, very tipsy. Yoo Joonghyuk wasn’t in any better shape, flush from the alcohol punctuating his features. Han Sooyoung slid herself beside him, having no respect nor care for this great thing called personal space .
“You should kiss him now.”
“What?!” Kim Dokja swerved his head around to face her with an incredulous expression.
“Oh please, everyone can see how you two are trying to sex each other up with your eyes. Just go for it, man.” She shoved him.
Han Sooyoung always had perfect aim when it came to fucking with him. He landed straight on Yoo Joonhyuk’s chest; arms wrapping around Kim Dokja instinctually.
He looked up, sheepishly smiling. “Sorry. Must’ve lost my balance.” He swore to get back at Han Sooyoung. “Thanks for the, uh, catch.”
Yoo Joonghyuk looked down at him, affection blatant in his eyes. “Be careful, Dokja.”
“I mean, how careful do I have to be when you’re there to catch me?” He put more heat into those words than originally intended. Luckily, it seemed to work.
Yoo Joonghyuk’s arms tightened, affection melting to hunger. “And if I’m not?”
“Well, I guess you better be there whenever I fall. Wouldn’t want anyone else catching me, would you?”
Possessiveness flared. He was playing a dangerous game, alcohol giving him a burst of confidence.
Kim Dokja wrapped his arms around Yoo Joonghyuk’s neck, pulling him down. Hot breath blew on his face, breathes intermixing.
The door flung open, revealing a very proud looking Yoo Sangah. She scanned the party, charging towards Kim Dokja as soon as he was spotted.
“He’s in custody. With the evidence I gave them, there’s no chance he’ll be able to get out until the court trial.”
Kim Dokja was relieved. He was safe. That bastard wouldn’t hurt him again.
“Who?” A very annoyed looking Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
“The person who pushed Kim Dokja.” Everyone tuned in to hear her. “Song Minwoo. Assault, blackmail, attempted murder…” She trailed off slightly, debating how much to say. “They’re keeping him in custody until the court trial, which is currently undecided.”
Everyone was ecstatic. Relieved. Thankful. Kim Dokja shared all those emotions and more, happy the nightmare was over. He had a new future with Yoo Joonghyuk after all.
Who was dragging him away to a hallway, pushing him against a wall. “Kim Dokja.”
Kim Dokja looked up, unconsciously licking his lips. Yoo Joonghyuk followed the movement, teeth pressing against his bottom lip. “May I kiss you?”
Before he could respond, a wave of pain exploded from his head. It felt like it was ripping his skull in half. He knew what this was. Panic overtook him, pushing out whatever other thoughts he’d been having.
He didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to go back. He was happy, damn it! Surrounded by friends with the promise of a new romance. Of loving and being loved by someone who was his whole world. Treated him like he, too, was his whole world.
This always happens. When everything was safe. When everything was just starting to get good, he was torn away from any happiness.
He only had a few moments left. He had to make them count.
Seeking his own happiness, he grasped Yoo Joonghyuk’s collar and pushed their lips together. It was messy and aggressive, desperately trying to convey everything he’s ever felt. For this Yoo Joonghyuk and every other one he’s met. To show the love he’s felt in every timeline, even if his one and only didn’t love him back in every one.
Hot tears burned trails down his cheek.
Kim Dokja knew the harder he fought returning to the Void, the worse it would be. Pages fluttered around his mind, black ink spelling out the story he lived:
-
“‘I don’t think that should be your first response…’ Yoo Joonghyuk practically melted into the touch, anxiety slipping away.”
“Upon hearing the front door open, Yoo Joonghyuk snatched his hand away, turning around to try and hide the deep blush colouring his face.
Cute…”
“The momentum shoved Kim Dokja’s poor spine into the counter, him swallowing back a wince of pain.”
“Kim Dokja no longer was worried about someone trying to kill him. Because this man, right in front of him, was going to be the death of him.”
“‘Joonghyuk.’ Kim Dokja spoke softly, forcing the other to pay attention to hear him. 'It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. I’m fine, right?'
A nameless emotion grew in obsidian eyes. It was so warm, something Kim Dokja wasn’t used to. Maybe the other Kim Dokja was.”
-
Ah. Pages scattered incessantly, more words birthing as more pages folded into existence. They joined the paper laid all around his mind’s pocket, each one telling a story previously experienced. Each time, lost until the current cycle ended. Readable only until the next loop began.
This wasn’t Kim Dokja’s world. He didn’t have a world. His only job was to keep each timeline stable.
It was time to give it back to Kim Dokja .
Silently, he wished goodbye to his friends. Goodbye to his house. Goodbye to Yoo Mia and Lee Gilyoung. Goodbye to the world he longed to live in.
Goodbye to Yoo Joonghyuk.
“Until we meet again.” His words were stolen by the hungry kisses of the other.
When he opened his eyes, it was black.
Void surrounded him.
Pages yellowed with age spun around him, mixing with ones snowy white. Black ink clung to the fibers, each telling a different story. Tragic, comedic, romantic… all show proof a life he or a part of him lived.
Excluding those times he failed to save that world’s Kim Dokja, none of the story's endings were written by him.
Kim Dokja was only there to bridge a story set off course.