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That sha’buir was at it again, and this time Obi-Wan was not going to stand for it.
It was supposed to be an easy mission. Pick up a senator when they stopped to refuel, bring them to such-and-such planet so they can convince their queen or king or what-have-you not to support the Separatists, and bring said senator right back to Coruscant for the start of yet another Senate term. Don’t die. It was an easy mission, even in Obi-Wan’s current state, practically a vacation compared to their usual targets, nothing to worry about at all.
Mace had clearly never met Senator Feckru
Right from the get-go, the man had been nothing but ignorant, snobbish, and unjustifiably arrogant. When Admiral Yularen, having just reached Coruscant himself, took the time to see them off at the landing point, Feckru had oh so helpfully pointed out to him that it was much more becoming for all of an officer’s shirt buttons to be the same color, didn’t he agree? Oh, the crimes of replacing a single black button with a dark navy one whilst in an active warzone. The admiral, though clearly surprised at receiving such a comment, refrained from replying and merely nodded pleasantly as the self-satisfied senator walked up the ramp and into the shuttle, already chattering at the poor clone escorting him that it was terribly exhausting, this irresistible call he felt to help those around him better themselves all the time, but greatness does what greatness must, he supposed. Yularen's lips tightened into a sympathetic grimace as he inclined his head in farewell to Cody with an expression that blatantly read as, good fucking luck. Clearly, those on The Negotiator were going to need it.
Now, after eleven entire days stuck with this sorry excuse of a taxpayer’s hopes, seven of which spent cooped-up in hyperspace, Obi-Wan was going to kill him.
Okay, maybe not kill the man, and maiming is generally frowned upon by the Council, but. Obi-Wan was incredibly displeased with Senator Feckru, and hoped he never again knew the satisfaction of a properly steeped cup of tea for the rest of his natural life. He’d sniped at those on kitchen duty for not knowing where Commander Cody was right at that very moment. He’d belittled Kisses for gently soothing a shiny out of an anxiety attack instead of just tranqing them and being done with it. This karker interrupted Rex during a strategy meeting to inform Cody that he was greatly disappointed in the clones’ inability to instigate and follow even basic operational security procedures. Armor should be worn round the clock, with a three minute exception should they feel the need to shower and rid themselves of their filth.
Cody, brilliant, wonderful Cody, had just raised an eyebrow with a sardonic, “we’ll keep your opinions in mind, Senator,” before devoting the entirety of his attention to Rex for the rest of the meeting. Obi-Wan, fuming as he watched from the ceiling vent, had not been nearly as composed. The main issue lay with the fact that Obi-Wan was currently a tooka. As you might imagine, this put quite a damper on many activities Obi-Wan would usually enjoy, such as publicly outmaneuvering or verbally eviscerating any idiot that thought their political titles granted them the right to come after his men. Due to the Council’s shadows still not having any luck locating the moles in the Senate, it had been decided that they couldn’t risk news of Obi-Wan’s currently vulnerable state being leaked to the Separatists. Only the 212th, 501st, and some of the other clone commanders knew the truth; to the rest of the galaxy (save those like Anakin, who had been there for the initial incident), General Kenobi was currently on an undisclosed, long-term mission that required absolute radio silence. The Council even had Quinlan laying the occasional false trail for any that might be looking, since he knew Obi-Wan well and bounced from one planet to another rather frequently. Reportedly, he found this very relaxing in between stages of his own missions, but Quinlan had always been a little weird.
Safer he may be, but none of that would help Obi-Wan with the 212th’s current predicament. Try as he might, Obi-Wan hadn’t been able to think of a single, feasible way to help his vod’e. They had to finish the mission they’d been given; Senator Feckru would just have to be endured.
~~~
Surprisingly, once they’d reached the planet itself, negotiations for the local queen’s alliance had gone swimmingly, the matter settled merely two days after their arrival. To celebrate such a momentous occurrence, the queen had invited Senator Feckru and the present soldiers to linger a few days more and partake in a mutual appreciation for the beauty of nature, an important, almost sacred aspect of their culture. The senator had been delighted to accept such an offer, nevermind the galactic war going on and the many battles the 212th was needed for.
Obi-Wan had practically kneaded his pillow in Cody’s room to shreds when he heard the news, until Cody had reached over to tug him up and settle Obi-Wan on his chest, instead. It had been nice, if a bit flustering, and Obi-Wan had gently kneaded at Cody’s blacks and listened to his steady heartbeat until he fell asleep, thoughts of Senator Feckru far behind him.
But not even Cody slowly stroking behind his ears could calm Obi-Wan now. The senator had been sitting outside on a mess chair he’d demanded be brought planetside from The Negotiator when one of the borrowed 501st had “interrupted his aura” while performing a routine patrol for threats in their unsecured location. Matters had escalated from there, but Cody was tied-up with handling the arrangement of their planetary departure with the local officials, and it was Rex who’d then been forced to intervene. Thus it was Rex whom was getting lambasted by a man who thought a broken fingernail constituted a serious wound, Rex whom had to stand there and take it as a man who didn’t consider him a person insulted everything that made him one.
Obi-Wan was done. He was not going to sit back and put up with this, the Council and their overprotective security measures could just deal with it. Obi-Wan gathered himself up from where he’d been lounging on Cody’s shoulders, already mentally weighing the best targets for him to make his attack. Senator Feckru’s immensely expensive silk clothes would scarcely provide him with any protection from a threat, and so with a mind full of fury and schemes, Obi-Wan braced himself on Cody’s pauldron and launched himself into the air, sailing through the breeze…only to go nowhere?
Obi-Wan aggressively flailed his front paws, hoping to free himself from whatever was impeding him from his righteous defense of Rex’s personage. When that failed, Obi-Wan twisted his head back to look at Cody, who had apparently caught him around his middle when he lunged. Oh. He always worried so about Obi-Wan getting himself hurt, Obi-Wan’s sudden leap surely would have alarmed him.
With much effort, Obi-Wan carefully retracted the claws of his left paw and gently bopped Cody’s hand to let him know that Obi-Wan was fine, he just needed to attend to something else right now. Cody looked down at him, but did not let go or move to place Obi-Wan on the ground. Obi-Wan bopped Cody’s hand again, more insistently this time, and then leaned his body as far as it would go towards Rex and the haranguing senator before turning his head back to Cody.
“No, absolutely not.” Cody shook his head. “Senator Feckru may be an aggravating son of a bantha, but it’s nothing we clones haven’t heard before and you are not going to cause an incident because of it. I’ve done more than enough paperwork this week.”
Obi-Wan was indignant. He wouldn’t cause an incident, he wasn’t Anakin! He just wanted to make the Senator understand that that was no way to speak to anyone, let alone such an esteemed and loyal man as Captain Rex. Obi-Wan yowled at Cody quite expansively, nodding and staring up at him with firm impatience when he felt he had made his point, and waited to be released to Rex’s side.
Cody remained unmoved.
Before their silent standoff could reach its conclusion, a loud crash echoed through the area as a couple of shinies on transport duty overturned their hovercart of ration crates. They rushed to clear it up, but the damage was done, and Senator Feckru’s disparagement of Rex increased in both volume and condescension. The situation was clearly getting desperate, and Obi-Wan resorted to his absolutely last resort. He turned sad eyes on Cody, and let out a concerned, hopeless little mewl. Rex was Cody’s vod’ika, his precious baby brother. Didn’t he want Rex to be happy? Was he really just going to stand there and let Senator Feckru say things that would hurt Rex, that might make Rex feel like nobody loved him?
Cody cursed under his breath, being distinctly non-complimentary towards Obi-Wan’s trainer, his propensity for trouble, and Senator Feckru in general. He repositioned Obi-Wan until the were properly eye-to-eye. Obi-Wan let out another miserable meow and Cody crumbled like a shiny on their first sugar crash. Sensing victory, Obi-Wan’s ears immediately perked up and he affectionately wrapped his tail around Cody’s arm, nuzzling his chin and chirping with his happiness at Cody’s decision.
“Yeah, I know, I’m secretly a big ol’ softie and you knew you’d get your way in the end, you can be smug about it another time. However,” Cody’s voice grew serious. “You will in no circumstances but an actual, life-threatening emergency use your claws, teeth, or any other form of causing physical harm to Senator Feckru. He may love animals, but he still seems the sort to insist we put down any creature that hurt him, and it’s not like we could tell him why every single one of us would sooner die than let anything happen to a feral, vicious little tooka on some no-name planet. So you can support Rex, but play nice. Understood?” He seemed tired, and for a moment Obi-Wan did feel a bit bad. Cody was essentially pulling double duty what with him being out of commission, and he wasn’t wrong about Senator Feckru. Obi-Wan chittered his agreement, and spontaneously gave Cody’s neck a little lick as he resolved to try and make things a little easier for him in the following days. Finally, finally, Cody set him down with one last sigh, but Obi-Wan wasn’t fooled, he saw the fondness in his eyes. “Alright you little hellion, go make some trouble.”
Well, with permission like that…
Obi-Wan raced towards Rex and the senator, slowing to a graceful, showy sort of prance as he got closer. He curved his tail elegantly and twitched his long ears in a delighted, charming manner. The senator paused his rant as Obi-Wan approached them, and dismissively turned away from Rex to crouch and coo unattractively at Obi-Wan. “Well hiiiii,” and ‘hi’ should not have four syllables, “are you lost? What a marvelous coat you have, surely a pretty little tooka like you could use some treats and a friend, hmm?” He stuck out his hand for Obi-Wan to sniff, smiling confidently down at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan stepped closer, and then with the haughtiest, most unimpressed expression he was capable of making with his current facial configuration, Obi-Wan completely turned away from Senator Feckru, scornfully flicking his tail in the direction of his offered hand. Four short steps later, it was Rex’s legs he twined around, Rex’s knee he braced his forelegs on, Rex’s gloved hand that carefully pet over his head and behind his ears as he let out a warm, vibrating purr. From behind himself, Obi-Wan could hear a choked, horribly undignified choking sound that he dearly hoped was coming from the senator. Before he could retaliate or say anything else nasty to Rex, Obi-Wan carefully balanced himself and raised one of his paws from Rex’s knee to bat at his vambrace comm.
Never let it be said that Rex didn’t know how to seize an opportunity. “Oh, is it that time already? Thank you for reminding me, getal’ika. Senator, it’s been an experience, unfortunately I’m now due for a briefing with Command. Two of my officers,” he beckoned at Fives and Echo, who had stopped to help the shinies right their hovercart and had been shooting the senator increasingly dirty looks, “will escort you to your quarters. For safety purposes, said quarters will then be locked until Coruscant, to minimize the spread of any foreign pathogens to the rest of the troops. Just basic operational security, I’m sure you understand.” And with a condenscending smile of his own, Rex hoisted Obi-Wan into his arms and walked away, smugly kissing the top of his little head and leaving Senator Feckru to the oh so loving care of two very displeased ARC troopers.