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  1. You Can Get Anything You Want At Alice's Restaurant by

    Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)  

    07 Sep 2015

    Tags
    Summary

    Alone on Thanksgiving? Mad at your Dad? I am a twenty-eight year old felon with no job and a dirty old van one year younger than me painted like Eddie Van Halen’s guitar. I can play anywhere between the ages of twenty and twenty-nine depending on if I shave. If you’d like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long and/or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I’m game.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,920
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    126
    Kudos:
    580
    Bookmarks:
    95
    Hits:
    4,919