Chapter Text
Broken Spirits
This has been edited for content and mistakes of the first publish I will continue to add new chapters as soon as possible. I use music to help portray the sentiment of each chapter so read listen and enjoy!
Reiss
The alarm on Alecs' feed pump began to protest angrily startling me from a light sleep. I untangled myself from him as quickly and gently as possible but end up smacking the 'power' button with such force I'm both lucky and thankful I didn't break the darn thing.
Admittedly I took a moment to admire the sleeping form of mi amour. He may be a bit thinner, a tad paler, and have a few more scars and 'medical accessories' than when we first met. I don't notice much of the physical differences as I do his mental.
He will always be my Alec regardless; he is the same man I met years ago. Skin still peppered with scars and tattoos, midnight black hair, and those piercing green eyes. Pools of expression set in a mask made of stone he wears for the world. My name you ask is Riess, and this man laying here is my everything. This also means I will also do anything and everything I can to assure he continues to survive and hopefully thrive, even under these circumstances.
After a moment I grabbed the large gastric syringe; humming some old tune to myself as I gently roll him over in a feeble attempt not to wake him. I grabbed the distilled water from under the nightstand and poured some into the awaiting cup. After putting it away, I snapped on a mask and some gloves (sexy nurse style of course), twisted the valve on his G/J tube, and disconnected the line at least for the moment my love could be free from some of the restrictions. I turn to draw up the standard of water in the syringe, but when I turn back to flush, I see he's partially awake. Out of reflex, I start to reach for him but quickly stop remembering the sterile gloves. "Shhhh everything is okay only me, go back to sleep" he does as I ask, closing his perfect green Orbs.
Alec turns his head away, laying still knowing I need the rest of him to finish. I finished the flush of his G/J and made sure I turned the valve to the off position. I made that mistake before and oh was everybody pissed. I Switched gloves so I could quickly check on his power port. It was always accessed so we have to constantly make sure the connections are tight, that you can draw blood and flush any medication through it. I clipped the clamps and put caps on as well as made sure that his skin was holding up against the sticky Tegaderm. The others had been a nightmare with the Mast Cell allergic to everything! Which seems like the story of our lives sometimes. Thankfully at current, all is looking stable with his skin and I can take off my mask and gloves to finally breathe the cool air again.
Knowing my last contact with any area that needed me to be sterile was over. I couldn't help but stroke the side of his face with the back of my hand, his expression relaxed a small amount before quickly contorting again. I wonder what is hurting my love so much tonight but if I let myself dwell on it for too long, it will drive me insane. Especially as there is not much more I can do for him.
Oh how I long for the days when just the action of my touch would cause his entire body to melt, my sleeping angel so young, so strong, and yet so incredibly... fragile. Though if Alec ever heard me say that aloud guarantee there would be a battle royale in the middle of our living room.
Allowing the humor of that to break him from the daydream. Reiss lingers only a moment longer, watching as his love's chest rose and fell rhythmically with each breathe.
I try to 'deglove,' as quickly and quietly as possible throwing them onto the mound of trash created by all of the medical supplies. I notice that our bedroom trash is getting rather full and at the very least I should put it by the front door so I remember to take it out later. I glanced at Alec to make sure he was still sleeping before opening the door and venturing into the rest of our home.
Living room
I do at times miss our lives before this all started, we don't spend much time out here anymore. It was not for lack of trying Alec, is just more comfortable laying down with his back and I think the place is a bit depressing for him now. With the pictures on the wall and posters of matches plastered everywhere. I mad my way to the front door through the obstacle course known as our home. I am reminded of just how much our lives have changed in what seems like such a short time and that it didn't always look like this. That is, it wasn't always piled high with boxes upon boxes of medical supplies, required for Alec's daily survival. Some towering so high they near the ceiling.
When I imagined this type of 'box plague' descending upon our lovely abode a few years ago I thought they would be filled with things for our wedding or maybe even a kid. It's painful for me to think about now but perhaps we'd have argued about floral arrangements or what color to paint a nursery. Even though when it came down to it I know I would cave and let Alec have everything he wanted.
Now, well that future seems light-years away and the new one so uncertain. Every time Alec cries out It feels like my own chest will shatter. The pain, nausea, and dislocations slowly destroying his spirit day by day. At times he would beg, scream even demand that Reiss make it all stop somehow even if that meant ending his life. Usually it was through tears and in significant pain. Though the straw that truly 'broke the camel's back' as they say was the day he was fitted for a wheelchair and the anger it brought with it was something of a whole new level. That was the day I lost my happy boy(if you will) I'm 31 he is 27 that day I knew I had lost my Alec and I can only hope that it is not forever.
However, I am also not some naïve child who's foolish enough to think time heals all wounds. Life is hard and time can be a cruel twisted bit of fate that just likes to watch you twitch and squirm in pain. I'm painfully aware of the fact things will never be the same as they were, but we can still have our life and be happy together. For now, all I can do is wait and pray, that my happy boy finds his way back to me one day, I will be here as long as it takes. Through the thrown dishes to screaming and yelling. All of it even if that day is the day the world stops spinning I'm gonna be here for him.
TBC.......